Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - Looking For Revenge | Reading Reddit Stories

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

We've got more revenge stories and they are JUICY 0:00-1:34 Intro 1:34-10:16 My last day at Starbucks https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/11vf7pn/my_last_glorious_day_as_a_starbucks_barista/ 10:17-15:05 Steal my gf and threaten me?? https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/152ntlc/want_my_girlfriend_threaten_me_take_my_whole/ 15:06-22:53 Pay your tattoo artists https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/xodqvl/pay_your_tattoo_artists/ 22:54-36:42 I became a roommate from hell https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/15172o2/had_the_roommate_from_hell_and_couldnt_get_rid_of/ 36:43-44:13 He tried to take my armrest https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/14sise1/guy_tries_to_claim_the_arm_rest_i_let_him_have_it/ 44:14-51:13 Exposed my boss at the steakhouse https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/14uymmc/quit_my_job_at_an_upscale_steakhousebut_not/ 51:14-59:57 Wife thinks I take too long in the bathroom https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/15iufyp/wife_thinks_im_taking_longer_than_i_need_in_the/ 59:58-1:09:39 I'll come back when Larry's gone https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/xwx14r/ill_come_back_so_long_as_larry_isnt_there/ WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Tommy Bowe // https://www.instagram.com/tomeybones/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Kimmy Jimenez Editor: Luke Baker Director Of Programming, Smosh Pit: Kiana Parker Pit - Ap: Kimmy Jimenez Assistant Director: Jacqi Jones Art Director: Cassie Vance Assistant Art Director: Erin Kuschner Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Audio Mixer: Greg Jones Director Of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: Vida Robbins Director, Design: Brittany Hobbs Director, Marketing: Rachel Evans DIT/AE: Matt Duran Post Production Manager: Luke Baker Production Manager: Jacqi Jones Production Coordinator: Heidi Ha Production Assistant: Marcus Munguia Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Twitter: https://twitter.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may be free, eligibility and member terms apply. Welcome to Reading Reddit. I'm Shane, I read the stories, and I'm joined today by Tommy and Amanda. You could not be more excited.

Why do we? Ahhhh. Today's theme, we're back on revenge. Yes. Yes. Frankly, some of the best. There's a lot of revenge subredits, and I think we're going to cover a couple of them here. So many good revenge stories up there. I feel like the 90s was all revenge

movies. Yes. Am I crazy? Kilbill's my favorite movie and it's a revenge. It's a revenge. It's two movies about revenge. That's true. So good. I think I enjoy revenge stories because I'm not someone who gets revenge. I'm not good at it. I'm not th. I'm not. I'm not that type of person. You have to be really really calculated You have to be smart in a way that I am not Actually, I got revenge one time a kid was mean to me in school and for some reason he invited me over to his place And I hit his sneakers behind his bed, and then he was like, and then he was like, I couldn't find my sneakers? Did you check behind your back? Did, did? Did you? Did you? Did you? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? I? I? I? the? I? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? th? the? th. to? the? th. the? to? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? revenge and then gave him the solution. Because then I was like, oh, it was me. That's the slightest revenge you could ever do. You inconvenienced him very slightly. And that's just me.

I can't find my shoes. All right. Well, let's see how crazy these get. Okay. Here's our first one. I already love this title. My last glorious day as a Starbucks barista. I'm obsessed. You know it's gonna be good.

So this comes from petty revenge, which is like, makes sense. Which sometimes are the best ones, even though it's like the smallest level of revenge. A Starbucks barista once told me have a bad day when she handed me the drink. I hope the drink. I hope this is that. That's awesome. I would respect that. I did. I was like, I will. Did were you a jerked? They just say that? I was just like, oh, okay. That's awesome. All right. This might be more for malicious compliance, which is a different revenge subreddit. But it works here and my post there got zero traction. So I'll try here. I'll try here. th. All th. All th. All th. th. th. th. th. th. to be th. th. to be th. th. to be to be the th. I the to be the th. I th. th. to be the th. th. th. th. th. I the the th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. I. I. th. th. I. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. th. the the works here and my post there got zero traction, so I'll try here,

L-O-L. I used to be a Starbucks barista. We had a woman who had come in every morning in order. I shit you not. A double tall, vanilla latte with three-eighths a pump of vanilla. Not a half pump. She even made one of the baristas mark our bottle pump with a Sharpie. Every single day, the first cup we would make, no matter who made it, was always wrong. Either too sweet or not sweet enough.

So after a while, I began to just pretend to make another drink, pull the steam wand and wave my hands about like a fool behind the machine. I would hand her back the same drink. And it was always perfect the second time even though it was the same drink. Yep. On my last day of work this woman decided to come in twice that day. She was being over obnoxious and talking on her cell phone about deals and her assistant and essentially just announcing her importance to everyone in the room. It was 3 p.m. in the spring and the place was filled with teenagers ordering Frappuccinos. I had both Flanders going and both steam ones going when this woman decided to yell at me, God, I can barely hear myself think!

So I replied, funny, I can still hear you complaining. If you knew me, you'd know I have the perfect facial expressions to go with it. I look, slash looked like a snarky little shit. I told her that I've been handing her back the same drink every morning for over a year, too. I said verbatim, kind of embarrassing now that you know, right? 3-8 is half a pump for all intents and purposes here, ma'am. She lost it.

She demanded my manager fire me on the spot or she'd call corporate, and we lose her business. Blah blah, blah, blah. I. I. I I. I I I I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thinea thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, thea, thea, thea''ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ererer's the manager. He was the opposite of a spirit of the rule slash law kind of person and really enjoyed making our lives more difficult than they needed to be. I knew that firing me actually reflects quite negatively on his quarterly reviews and knew he wouldn't do it. He told her it was my last day, and the best he could do was send me home early, which would be a reward the reward the reward the reward the reward the reward the reward the to to to to to to to to to be a to be a to be a reward rather than a punishment since the store was so busy. She proceeded to spend the next two hours on hold with corporate outside.

Then when corporate either accidentally hung up on her or told her to shove it, she threw her glasses, called me a little bitch in front of a ton of kids and ran to her car. To her husband, so sorry for that night, bro, totally my fault. And there's an emoji with the sunglasses. Edit, she was offered a gift card, I think, but this lady was universally disliked by employees and customers alike. Edit too, thank you so much for responses. It warms my heart to see people appreciate this story as much as I do.

My people, mighty morphing retail rangers. Hell yeah. That's pretty epic. Oh my God. I have known a lot of people who are baristas and it's that is so common of people who have insane orders. When I worked at Dunkin' Donuts. You worked at Dunkin' Donuts? Yes! I love Dunkin' Donuts! Really?

Yes! What's your drink? I've eaten a donut! Wait, can I, was your drink French vanilla extra extra like everyone else? No, okay, so you'd get the blueberry, the sugar free blueberry, the sugar free blueberry. My sister's obsessed with the sugar free coconut. Oh my god, that was my sister's frikea' together. Oh my god, that was my sister's frikea. Okay, keep going.

I that we were coconut together. Amazing. Do you recall an absolutely insane order that? All the time. We would get it all the time. We would get like teenagers from my high school who would like French vanilla extra extra, which is extra cream, extra sugar, mind you. And then we would get great, we would get, hmm, we would get really intense orderers, right?

They would want it very, very specific. And we got the same people all the time. That woman is just one. We would get like 30 of them. And they would always do this. We did the same thing. They'd be like, that's not right. And we always knew their car.

We always knew that for you. And I would go and go, there you go, and she'd be like, so much better. And I wouldn't do anything. I would just shake it. It's just a power thing. It's just a power thing. Because in my mind, In my mind, if you're to Starbucks. Starbucks, in my mind, I'm like, that's fast food.

You go there for like, bam, give me something, throw it in my face. Or Dunkin Donuts, can't believe you have a blueberry coconut. I don't know a single other person. That's me? That likes that. I love it. Yeah, there are just some people who, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th to. th th th th. th. th. th. did a storytelling thing. So I worked at Burger Lounge, which was like a, you know, a fancy burger place, but was it? People, some people just have this thing where they're like, I need to like execute my power

to remind myself of my worth and give myself something to cling on to. And they love doing this. You know, it's like, if you were getting your car custom made and it cost you like $80,000 per part or whatever. It's like, yes, be intense about it. But it's like, this is a $7 drink. These people are like, you know, in college.

It's like, please. They have to exert their control somewhere. To me, I'm like, what's happening in your life where you feel like you don't have control? But I also think there is a mindset, especially, I do think in America, of viewing retail and service workers is not human. Oh, we're completely. Because I can't help when I'm ordering something and it's a Starbucks or something like that and the place is jam packed. I put that context into it th th th th th th th th th th th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. I tho. I tho. I'm tho. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. or something like that and the place is jam-packed. I put that context into it and if I order and they get my order completely wrong I'm like I'm just gonna drink this because look at what's

going on here this is insane you know you can't I can't help but remove that. Weirdly enough though when you work in the service industry I I would rather have someone like I'm so sorry like this this isn't right this this this this this th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th thr-I would thr-I would thr-I thrown thr-I th I would th I would th I would th I would th I would thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I th th th th th th I would th I would th I would th I would th I would th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I thr-I thrown thro throooooooooooooooooooe to to to to throoooooooooooe thro thro thro the the't right, this isn't when I order, and I'd be like, oh, okay, I got you. It's the way you do it. I don't mind that. It's the execution. In America, everyone should work in the food service industry for at least a year. Yeah, I mean, look, I, he hasn't, we talked about this.

I did talk about this where I fully acknowledge, and my brothers both worked in those fields and I fully acknowledge that I'm like, that is so hard. I could never do it. We're going to put Shane in a restaurant for one month and he's going to get all he needs. In some of the old Smosh Pit videos where we did day jobs where we went and we worked a food truck for like an hour. Oh, I was exhausted. I was frying plantains. I'm like, I can't do this shit.

Like, this is so hard. Yeah. I have so much respect for it. And yeah, I'm just also just don't be an asshole to people. Wait, so did, did, uh, did they get fired? It was her last day. She was like, I'm going to say whatever. By the way, we haven't been giving you three-hits pumps for a last year, lady. I kind of love that she just said. But also, people who are assholes, what I'm always shocked about is that they are willing

to waste their time. They will spend so, I think that's also for me that I'm like, I'm the type, I'm the type, I'm the type, I'm like, I'm like, th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th.. that's, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's's like oh they got my order wrong it's like oh well we should go take it back I'm like yeah but that's another 10 minutes exactly and I can be home in 10 minutes watching TV or I could still be here in 10 minutes because I can't let this go yep I'm gonna go for two hours yeah to get through corporate like that to me is just trying to make a point I'm obsessed I'm obsessed with her I think she could have th th I th th th th th I th th th th I th th th th th I th th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thi thus thi thi the the th I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thus the the the the te te try try try try try try te try try try try try to to to to to to to to be honest. Oh, yeah. There's some comments here. Not giving a fuck is the best superpower there is. I agree. I agree. Every time I've quit a job, I've always secretly wished someone would be extra rude to me so I could just say exactly what I wanted without fear of repercussions.

It's never happened sadly. Congratulations. Oh, he responded. . I was really hunting for it that day if I'm being 100% honest. Man, incredible. All right, well, next story. Okay. This also comes from petty revenge. Amazing.

Want my girlfriend? Threaten me? Take my whole shitty life. All right. Oh, cool. I had a girlfriend, period. We were bad for each other, and unsurprisingly she was cheating on me. I found out in a rather dramatic way and I had, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, thi, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, thi, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, thi, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, thi, thi, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I thi. I th. I th th th th th th th thi. Incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible other and unsurprisingly she was cheating on me. I found out in a rather dramatic way and I had a full-on mental breakdown. Dude who she

was cheating with had been fed a bunch of lies to keep him from talking to me and he started, and he started threatening me with violence. Long story short, we broke up. She moved out of our place and into his place. I started therapy. A few months goes by and I realized in therapy that I wasn't just busted up about my ex-girlfriend, but also my whole life. I decided to find a new job, a new place to live, everything. Got the ball rolling, and the day I got my new job offer, I saw an email come into our jobs, jobs at the company who was threatening me and now living with my cheating X. So I referred him to my boss, talked about how great he was, how I'd only heard good

things, and hey, because I was putting in my two weeks, they should definitely hire him. Dude comes in for an interview. I'm on the panel. When we're in the room together alone, he's like, tho'eaned, I'm so so I I I I I I I I'm so so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, I'm tho, I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi. thi. the the the theat to thea to to thea'' to thea''a'a'a' thea' thea' theat th helping me out. I say no sweat. She always had good things to say about you and I know she had a good picker after all she chose both of us and we chuckled like polite people. He actually does okay in the interview and gets the job. That job was a shit show. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it is the worst job I ever had. The place that I was moving to was the ice as much for a third of the work. I was so relieved to be leaving.

When I moved out of my place a month later, my landlord asked if I knew anyone who was looking. Gave her the guy's phone number. That apartment was charming as fuck when you first see it, but was simultaneously absolute trash. And you didn't know that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th, the the th, th, th, tho, tho, thi, the thi, the the thi, the the thi, the the thoooooo, too, tooo-a, too-a, too, too, too, too, to to to to be to be to to be to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toldld told told the the the the the the the the the the thr-s thr-s. the thr-s the the thr-s the thr-s the thr-a, toldea, told My buddy from my old job told me the guy got a call for it at work and jumped on it. So I knew he had my old shitty job, my old shitty place, and my old cheating girlfriend. I hope he enjoyed my life more than I did, but somehow I doubt it. I do know that they broke up about two months later. What insane circumstances?

Just being like, you know what, you can have it. You know what? It's like, have that too. Why do you take this as well? Have that, men. I kind of like love that. That's, that to me, because the guy will never know. No, he thinks he's a great guy.

Yeah. And to be fair, he doesn't owe you to say, oh, it's a bad apartment. He's like, yeah, he's like, you want my life? Here's my life. He's like, the bad thing you did was threaten him. I mean, it's like, he was the other guy. So it's like, you know, you're not to blame in that big, you know, I'm gonna shut up. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm,there? Busted out? Busted, what did he say? I don't know, some comments. I'm surprised you referred his application to your boss. O.P. responded, I hated my job so much, it felt like the least I could do. Someone said, I want to be a fly on the wall when she realized where they were moving into. 100%. That is so funny. The revenge is kind of on her. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well of course they broke up. I mean look. Right. I mean I mean. Yeah. So the girlfriend, the cheating girlfriend moved into her old place with him we think? Or at least at least when she went to visit him was like, oh this is my ex-boyfriend's apartment. So yeah, so no that his ex,, his ex, his cheating ex was living with this guy, but he was clearly, he clearly was going to move to a new place and didn't consult her enough, so they're about to move into, and then they broke up two months later. And so- They probably broke up when she was like, oh, this is my ex-myrtle. I'm gonna try on you. I'm gonna tot on you. Really crap. Someone else said the story should be chiseled into a stone to be immortalized as a hero's tale. 100%

And then someone else said, imagine 20 years later he thanked you for all the great things you helped turn his life around with. He's like, I left my cheating girlfriend, I got a new job. I left that apart. Oh my God. Wow. Yeah, wow. That's just a shocking coincidence. Yeah. Also I love one. I love the idea of like answering to all of the little like, hey this is bad and you should maybe you should change this about and just being like, oh, I will do that actually.

Okay. And then it's like I will get a different job and I will move it's cool. I don't know. No, he turned his life around. Yeah, it's really awesome. Wow, good for him. It's kind of a fun way to do revenge, I would say. Yeah. Yeah, that's not really like hurting anyone. That's not, it's not even as much revenge as it's just perfect circumstances. This comes from this comes from pro revenge. So this is pro revenge which is you're a professional. This is not petty they probably put a lot of thought and

effort into this. Okay. Typically do they do they give themselves this title of pro revenge? Pro revenge is a subreddit. Okay. So you submit your story to either petty revenge pro revenge or there's also nuclear revenge. Oh yeah. There's also malicious compliance where it's where you're told to do something and you do it, but it hurts the person that asked you. Okay, thrown. Okay, it hurts the person. Okay, that. Okay, like a boss asked you to work overtime and you do it, but it actually ends up inconveniencing the boss. Yeah, you know how, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th. Yeah, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the the the the, the the the the the they, they, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, where Pro. Pay your tattoo artists. Okay. So this is a story that the O.P. knows about someone else.

This is a but... A real story. This happened when I was young. I heard it secondhand from my grandmother who lived with the main character of this story's cast. My uncle's ex-girlfriend was an all-around, horrible person. Abusive babysitter got my uncle into bad crowds and legal trouble and dabbled in so many substances from A to Z. She was also heavily tatted. There was an artist, the star of the story, who was a family friend. Great dude, insane work.

She asked him to do a piece for her huge intricate angel wings. Oh, the irony. Across her back, he agrees. It takes several sessions across weeks. She repeatedly has to postpone payment, but he's chill, family friend, yada, yada. Until it comes to the last session, when it slips that she still doesn't have the money, and more importantly, won't have the money like ever. Now the pro-revenge. No collection agency, no refusal to continue. He smiles, waves it off, says he'll finish it up, no charge. It's going to be a great piece, legendary. One for the history books, he guarantees, she's stoked. So right between those gorgeous wings, right up her spine, this idiot now has a massive, vain male appendage, proudly standing at attention up her spine. She saw it in the mirror. the mirror. the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the money, th, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, he the the the the the the the thi, thi, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he the the the th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he idiot now has a massive, vainly male appendage proudly standing at attention up her spine.

She saw it in the mirror when he finished and she was livid. But hey, what's she gonna do? She didn't pay him and wasn't going to pay him and expected hours and hours of work. You give a lot of trust to someone when they take a needle to your skin to lay down something permanent. Don't stiff your artists. So she has a dick with wings on her back? Yes. That is wild.

Angel dick. To be honest though, that takes a lot of guts to be like, you got it. No worries. Couldn't she feel it on her body? It's just, no. It's actually, I've ever played that game where someone writes a letter, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.... And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, th. And,, I've ever played that game where someone writes a letter, a writing word on your back, it's really hard to tell. They do know a lot of romcoms and they're like, love you. What I like is that the, the vainy penis was probably more difficult

than the wings. But wasn't she like, what part of the wings. Holy shit, wait but they're family friends. Not anymore. Not anymore. No, not anymore. Well they weren't going to be anymore because she wasn't going to pay him. Also like how do you live with yourself by like you know doing like having this person do so much work on you. You got to be in a spot to be pulling that. I'm kind of shocked that the... Oh man. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't it wasn't the shitty lady's friend. It was her boyfriend's friend. Oh, so the boyfriend. But the boyfriend was really like influenced by her and he would get into trouble because of her and she's just a bad influence and bad. She was a

cyclone of badness. Is there an update on their relationship? There's no update on this, but there's some comments. Don't stif your artists because they will stiff you. In this case, quite literally, someone said he is letting the world know what kind of person she is. And someone responded, Angel Dick. Talk about art for exposure. Yeah. Wow. Oh, yeah.

That's wild. That sucks. Because now, if she wants to get it removed, now she's going to have to pay the money. Yeah, look, Reddit has definitely shown me. And I mean, it's a lesson I feel like we should all know of just pay people for the work that you hire them. What I've seen a lot of on Reddit is people who hire contractors or construction workers to do work on their house and then once the work's all done they're like oh we can't pay you or we're not going to pay you as much and then there's videos of them coming back to their house and just tearing it down. It's like yeah it's like if we build a patio for you and

then you say oh can't pay you right they have the right to they just did. I think it's really hard. I think boundaries really get crossed when family friends do like labor favors. Like I feel like that gets really, really tricky. Like even with, you know, even with wedding stuff, like when I just got married, I, a lot of friends volunteer to like help out and stuff, but it was like, I was like writing it down and making sure like, okay. Everyone get paid or everyone's gotta get paid or everyone has to get or is this really like a wedding gift like right and luckily like it was like it was? It was great and people got paid and it some of it was gift but like I think you have to be so careful. I I I I have a cousin who's an artist and I've I've like commissioned work from him and like he gave me a discount but I definitely definitely I I I I I I definitely I definitely I definitely I definitely I definitely I definitely to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. I to be to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to. I to. I to. I th. I'm. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm and I've like commissioned work from him and like he gave

me a discount but I definitely still am like if I'm buying art or purchasing something or a service from someone either a good friend or family member I nowadays I have the mindset of like I'm just going to go into it like I'm paying this is a full on just deal there's no expectations of something. I kind of am a believer of that. I kind of am a believer of that and I almost don't like when someone's like oh I'll give you a discount because or I'll do it for free. I'm like I don't know. No, no let's just do it. Let's just do the thing. It's never it's never free. You know what I mean? You always owe them back. It's just easier to just pay for it. the free. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll just the the th. th. th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'll just just just just th. I'll just just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'll just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. at some point. It's just easier to just be like, I'll just pay for it. Right. Because then, and then also it's like, you know, it's like, okay, let's say like, oh, yeah,

I'll sit on this couch with you, Amanda for free. I'll do you that favor. Thanks. It's like, but no, but if you're getting paid. So you do want that money. So I do want that money. Yeah. Remind me to Venmo of Tommy after this episode. An added thing to this though, and I'm not versed on tattoos at all.

I've never had a tattoo. A lot of comments are saying that if he's putting something on her body that she did not agree to, that is also murky. I- She didn't pay for his services. This is really bad news for all the cocks I've drawn around Smosh. That's been you? Oops. It just says Tommy underneath.

Look, I wish I could. Let's put a lot of comments are saying that what he did was illegal. So there's just a lot of layers to this. I'm not versed in it. This is not a legal episode. We'll get a lawyer on one of these episodes. Yeah, you guys should. That would be fun. We'll get a lawyer on here at some point soon. Maybe we have that planned. I don't think so. Anyways, that'd be crazy if that happened in like three hours. That'd be so insane. Yeah, that would be so weird, but.

Okay, next story. This is, we're back to petty revenge. Great. I love it. Wait. Was the dick one a pro? Well, yeah, that's th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. Maybe. Maybe. that. Maybe. that. Maybe. Maybe. that. Maybe. Maybe. that. Maybe. that. that. that. that. Maybe. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. We that. We're that. We're that. it's a great. I love a paddy. Wait, was the Dick one a pro? That was pro. Well, yeah, that's pro. Well, he was a professional. He was a professional. Okay, here we go. Had the roommate from hell and couldn't get rid of her so I made living with me as miserable as possible.

Oh, I don't know if I like that. All right, let's see. It's see. It see. It's see. It's see. It's see. It's see. It's see. It's see. It's see. It's see. It's see. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the to. the the to. the the. the to. the to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. the stuff is always the murkiest, blurriest thing ever. Home is your sacred space, man. All right, this happened in 2008 to 2009. Oh God. So that means they were wearing short-sleeved shirts over long-sleeved shirts. Keep that in mind. Yes. This happened in 2008 to 2009, but I thought this community would appreciate the story. In 2008, I had just left th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea toea thea toea to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. just left my husband. I caught him cheating multiple times and I was just over it. A new girl, we will

call her, Amy, started at my job and we made a fast friendship. I was in the middle of packing up and moving out of my house. I needed a roommate for a new apartment I was looking at because my wages weren't going to pay the bills. So we move in together and live peacefully together for a while. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, today, today today today today today, today today today, today, tod, tod, the the tod, the the the tod, tod, the tod, the the tod, tod, tod, the tod, the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the the th, the the th, the the the the th, th the, the, the, the, the, thr-a, today, today, tttoday, ttoday, today, today, today, today, today, today thi was moving on with my life. I had gotten a better paying job, was spending time with my friends, and I felt okay with life at the time. At the time I was 25, single, and not looking for anything serious, so I had a friend with friends with friends with friends who would stop over a few times a week. Amy was cool with it on the surface. It did not affect her in any way. My friend didn't hang out at our the their. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I. I was, I. I was, I was, I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, thi. I was, t. I was a t t t t t t t t t t toge.a.a.a.a. I was, t t t t today. He didn't use our household supplies. My relationship with him affected her exactly zero percent. But I guess she was a little green about the fact that I was getting some attention and she was not. She would flirt with him, go visit him where he worked, etc.

But he was absolutely not interested in her. This is where things started to go downhill. Uh-oh. For context, she had been married a few times tiiiiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the to the to to to to theeei the the the the the thi the thi. the things started to go downhill. For context, she had been married a few times. She was 13 years older than me, and the dads had full custody of their respective kids. She was dating someone, but he was already in a relationship, so he wasn't about to commit to anything besides stopping by for 30 minutes after he worked the night shift every day. I tried to point out all the red flags, but she was convinced it was love. This dude used to hit on me constantly in front of her. He was very open about being in a committed relationship

with his girlfriend, so I have no idea why Amy thought this was going anywhere. After a few months, I met someone I wanted to be serious with him. So we started dating. We will call the guy. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi. thi. thi. thi. will call the guy Tom. Tom and I got serious pretty fast. He was living in a horrible situation, so he moved in with Amy and I pretty quickly. I think it was after about a month of dating. So we have our room, and she has her own room. The bills went from 50-50 to 3334

to make sure things were still even. We had a shared kitchen, living room and bathroom. After Tom moved in, she, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th, and I I I I th, and I th, and I th. And, and I th. And, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi. And, and I thooooooooooooooo thaau thau thau tho tho tha, and tha shared kitchen, living room, and bathroom. After Tom moved in, she started openly hitting on him in front of me. Every guy I had at my house, even just friends, she had to hit on. None of them ever took her up on it. Every single one turned her down, and I think this added greatly to her oncoming behavior. Over the next couple weeks, Amy did a complete 180. She stopped paying rent, refused to buy any food, and would just eat whatever Tom and I bought, and not wash her dishes. We had two cats, one hers and one mine, and she would never clean the litter in her room, so her cat would use our hallway floor as a bathroom every single day. Every day when I got home from work,

there was a big steaming pile of cat shit right inside my front door Sitting in the middle of a giant puddle of urine Ew. The cat was locked in my room at night with her own supplies, so there was zero chance it was her the taur. It was the same thing every morning by the front door. Whenever she was done eating the food shethere for days. To the point that if I didn't pick them up, there would be multiple plates on the floor with food in various stages of decay. All of my dishes started going missing except for the cat's plates of course and what dishes were left she refused to wash ever. She used my toilet paper, my laundry, top. the laundry soap, they. tooahs. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's t. It's t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. tip, and it just kept getting progressively worse.

She would use pantyliners every day and would change them multiple times a day and stuff them in the garbage can in the bathroom. She would leave it there completely overflowing and spilling onto the floor for days until I caved and put on gloves and threw them out. The can would be full in about a week, so this happened a few times. That's not even the worst of it, my the the the the thiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom. thoom, thoom, thoom, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi.eeeeeeei.eeeei. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, th times, that's not even the worst of it. My expensive DSLR went missing. I was a photography hobbyist at the time, but it was my dream to be a professional photographer and own my own photography business. I would shoot, I would shoot stuff for friends and family as practice, and one day I grabbed my camera bag from the shared living room, and as as soon as I picked it up, I felt my heart sink in my stomach. You know that instant dread that grips you in the second you realize something truly gut-wrenching has happened? I opened the bag and of course the camera is gone.

That was an expensive camera for that time of my life and it was a gift from my parents so I was truly devastated. I couldn't prove a thing and I wasn it, but either way it was gone. So now this is it. This is the last straw. I need this bitch out. I went from nice girl to fucking psycho in about 30 seconds. I'm not the violent type and I hate confrontation. I'm not waiting for a fucking eviction to go through, and I really didn't have the money for that anyway. So here's where I start my petty revenge. Amy wants to live to live to live stealing my shit, hitting on my boyfriend and neglecting her cat, so be it. But it's going to be on my fucking terms.

Obsessed. One vital piece of information. In my divorce, the dickhead moved back in with mommy. Or no. No. Damn. What? One vital piece of information. In my divorce, the thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, to, too, to, too, to, to, too, too, the the to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the to, the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the t.................... to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. to to, and I took everything from the house to my new apartment, so I owned everything, and the lease was in my name.

I started by changing the Wi-Fi password and the computer password. The following week, I had my cable company come and removed the cable lines to her room. I bought a small fridge for my room and a cabinet and put all my food and personal supplies and the to the to............... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to the to the to to the to to to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pots and pans. I locked up the soap and toilet paper. The cabinets were empty. I paid for it all, and I would be the only one using it. When her cat shit on the floor,

I would pick it up and smear it on her door knob. I'd pick it up and smear it on her door. Oh! Oh! O! her pantyliners were dumped on her bed. I removed the knobs to the washer and the dryer. I did everything possible to make her life uncomfortable. I did other small stuff, anything that came to mind. A few months prior, Amy and I had been working at the same store and she borrowed another co-worker's laptop. She ended up getting fired, but she never gave the laptop back to her. And the co-worker was really trying to get it back from her. Amy ghosted her, of course, so while she was out one day, I went in and took the laptop

and gave it back to its rightful owner. Amy called the cops on me and said I stole her computer, but I explained what happened. She admitted to the cops that the computer wasn't hers and the cops said it wasn't their problem anymore. That one really made her hate me. she had money to do anything or buy anything. She was literally just existing in a room in my apartment. She would disappear during the day, but I have no idea where she was going. She moved out about, uh, she moved out about six weeks. When she moved out of my apartment, I didn't even know she had left.

I just noticed she wasn't coming or going for about a week. So Tom and I cleaned out her room. She left clothes, broken furniture, a cardboard dresser, and five, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thi, and, thi, and, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and, and, they, thi, and, and, and, and, and, and, the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the thi..I I I I I I I, thi.I.I's, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, tho-s, tho-s, thr-s,on garbage bags of trash we collected from the mass piles of panting liners, rotting food, and ordinary trash we found in the room. It's a miracle we didn't have roaches. I found all my missing dishes, silverware and cups, all covered in food and I just threw it all away. I wish I still had the photos though. Oddly enough, about six months later, I opened my back door to take out the trash and my camera was in a bag hanging from my doorknob. I know Amy definitely didn't return it. For about two years after, every time I would find

out that Amy was living with someone new, I would message them and send them the photos of her room, papers in the trash that had her name on the ta. the taped. the the the the their their their their their their their their their their paper's, their, their, thaughe, thaughe, thrash, thrash, and I, thrash, and I was, thr-Iui, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, ta, tr-n-n-s. I'm. I'm tr-s. I'ma, tr-a, tr-a, tr-a, tr-a, tr-a, tr-a, tr-s.e.e. tr-a, I'ma, I'ma, I them the whole story. One time it caused the people she was living with to throw her shit out on the porch. She had just moved in and they had small kids and they didn't want to risk it with her. I stopped after that. She knew it was me telling them too, so I figured I had sufficiently made my point. Edit, she took the cat with her cat outside, my cat was missing for 10 days. No. This is horrific. That is under Petty? A nightmare. Real quick, camera. Never got returned?

She got no, it showed up on her on her back porch on the doornob. Someone returned the camera, but she doesn't think it was Amy. So maybe the boyfriend. Maybe they fell out and then the boyfriend was like, I know you stole that camera and then like, like. the. the. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. this is is is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. this is th. this is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. tho. the. tho. the. the. thooooo. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is the.. So maybe the boyfriend. Maybe they fell out and then the boyfriend was like, I know you stole that camera and then like returned it. Yeah. Holy, I can't believe that this chick lasted six weeks of what the other woman was doing to her. Well, they both lasted a really long time.

What she was doing to herself also though. Yes. Yeah, that's locking up all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all allthat's locking up all our stuff. We're in toup every day. She just sounds like overnight she became a hoarder. Like, really, her room was filled with stuff. She wasn't cleaning anything. It just, nightmare fuel. I'm always like, I never understand when people like snap. I was just saying, I know, but I'm like, but thi. that's a snap. It's a snap, it's a snap. I would be like, I'd be like, well it's a snap. It's a snap that maybe you could see coming.

Right. You know, it's not like she was perfect before. Right. But she suddenly really, I don't mean Amy. I mean the poster. Oh, like, oh, you mean like, over time. Yeah. She was just like, yeah. Yeah, she was just like, I'm gonna. the. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. that. that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. Yeah, I, I, I th. Yeah, I, I th. Yeah, I, I th. Yeah, I walls. Yeah, yeah. It's like I get it. She kind of like didn't go to her level, but I think she just got so used to living in that shit that she's like, all right. I'll do that. I have become one with the shit. Exactly. I can smear shit on your wall now. The pantyliners, to me it's, I really, I've moved so much in LA that you really don't know who a person is until you live with them. I've lived with some really intense people in my life and it gets really scary and really weird and people let really gross stuff go on for long periods of time. Too long.

Too long. Too long. Where it gets to a point where you're like, well this is just my life now. Yeah. And I think it's probably when they, you finally reach out to someone say, hey, hey, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, I've th. thi, thi, I've thi, I've th. I've, I've, I've, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi, I've thi, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. theee really really really really really, thi. I'm really really really, thi. I'm really really really really thi. I'm thi. thi. I'm really really really really, thi just my life now. Yeah. And I think it's probably when they, you finally reach out to someone and say, hey, I've been living in this situation and the person goes, what? If they go, oh, shoot. Yeah, whoever's leaving all this recycling in my one bedroom apartment in my kitchen, that that person's crazy who's ever leaving all that recycling.

At least recycling's not gross, though. That's cardboard. But the pantyliners, guys. No, gross stuff I can't do. I can't do food left out. I can't do any of that. The plates on the ground? It's on the ground? That's like, that's buggy territory. How you doing that?

She somehow didn't get roaches. What was Tom doing? I don't. Was he like, good, did you smear the shit today? He turns around the bed, he's like, did you go smear the shit? Yeah, yeah, I smear the shit. Awesome. And let me just say, Amy is torturing her cat. Yeah, I know. That cat's like, oh, I gotta a different time. It's true. I hope Amy is... I was going to say in a better place.

I don't mean dead. I mean... In a better place. Not wearing true religion jeans and like a weird shirt. So there's some comments. Perhaps your camera was returned the same way you returned the Perloined laptop. They responded, I believe so, and someone else responded, bonus points for using Proloined, you magnificent soul. And then someone said, does Tom get her old room or what?

And OP responded, no, we got married and had three kids. Oh, oh. That makes sense. He's like, I can have kids with you after what? After this? After this? Yeah. Shit is fine. Like I've touched a bunch of shit. I can keep doing it. Someone said, petty, more like master class, good job. And then last someone says, I don't need amusement parks. I just come here for the thril ride. Wow. That's how I feel. That's a seven-year-old man. Man. I don't need a to be a th. I feel th. I feel th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to th. th. to th. to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. th. thi. th. a mean. I think they've never, I thinkfully never dealt with a roommate of that. I've definitely dealt with messy roommates, but no. Never like that. Oh, I've dealt with some.

Booom. Comparis to this? Well, one roommate threatened to punch me in my face. my monemaking face. Pretty cool. I was not making that much money back then. Did they use that phrase? Yeah, I'm going to punch you in your money-making face. While on top of that, they, there was a toilet clogged in this apartment by a guy that was

staying there who had the weirdest cough. It felt like he was dying every night. I barely saw him. That toilet remained clogged, like, shit out the walls for like weeks. So bad that she was like, who clogged the toilet? And I was like, what do you mean who clogged the toilet? It's been. It's him. It's him. It's coffee.

And she was like, you gotta clean. I'm like, I'm not touching the shit stain. So many times I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd thatimes I'd be like, I'd have to go use the weird bathroom up by her room. Oh. Guys, that was, that's just times. The worst thing I dealt, I mean, well, I'm sure I have some repressed memories, but the worst thing I've dealt with recently is, oh I'll just place this on top. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. What about the toilet paper that's on the roll? That's sitting on the roll? Yeah, yeah. It's like just, just do it. Anyways, all right. Wow. Next story, Guy tries to claim the arm rest. I let him have it his way. I can't witness. Oh, this is the type of stuff thiplplplplplplplplpli plane. th. the th. the th. th. th. thi. th. the air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air thi. thi. thi. thi. th. this th. th. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the they. the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the tape. the the the the the tape. the tape. tape. tha. tha. tha. that's. that's. that's.. Ooh, this is the type of stuff that I love. I...

Is this airplane? Probably. Assuming it's an airplane. No. I'm a big lover of the theater and will usually go to whatever Broadway show manages to make it to my city. Oh, this takes place.

Oh, so this live theater. The real entertainment is not on the stage. It's out of drama lies here. Our rest. A battle. Of just this, just slow push. What? Let's start from the beginning here. I'm a big lover of the theater, and we'll usually go to whatever Broadway show manages to make it to my city.

I also have the cutest nephew in existence. Sorry, people. These are facts. When Disney's The Lion King came around, I decided to treat my cute little nephew to his first live theater show. I wanted everything to be perfect for him and managed to snag close orchestra seats right on the aisle. I knew that during the circle of life there is a large elephant puppet that makes its way down the aisle, and I him to be surprised and blown away. The seats are very tight and so it was my nephew on the aisle, me, then a freaking rude old guy. We'll call him frog. Hell yeah. We take our seats, curtains up, and then I spend the entire first act getting elbowed in the side by frog's bony elbows. He had to know what he was doing, but it happened over and over again.

I wanted to turn street so bad, but I reminded myself that I have my cute little nephew with me and I don't want him to see Auntie's street side. So I stood for the first half and focused on my nephew's pure joy at the show. During intermission, the frog gets up, and I decided that the best way to to to toe toe toe the way the way the way to the toe the the the toe the the the the toe toe the the the the toe the the the show. During intermission, the frog gets up and I decided that the best way to handle things would be discreetly and that I should claim the arm rest for myself so that my arm would protect me. Mind made up, I casually place my arm down and focus on my nephew. Frog gets back, sits down, and proceeds to jam his bony elbow under my arm and physically throw it off the rest. He looks at me and says it's his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his. He. He. He. He. He. He's the the the the the the the the the the their. He. He's. He's. He's, he. He's, he's, he's, their. He's, their. He's, their. He's, their. Hea'. Hea'. He's, the their. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, te. te. te. te. te. te. tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttte. te. te. physically throw it off the rest. He looks at me and says it's his because he was using it before.

I went from zero to oh hell no in point two seconds and was about to lay into him when I remembered my cute little nephew was with me. Breathe girl, breathe. Suddenly...I love this author. We do. Suddenly, the devil on my shoulder whispers the best idea into my head. And I evil grin. He wants the arm rest, fine. He can have it.

I proceed to lay my arm perfectly on top of his. As if his arm is the arm rest, complete with my hand over his. He looks over at me in shock, and I stare straight at him, silently daring him to say anything. He pulls pulls the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoom sped on. I thoom sped on. I, thoomper. I the thoomorrow. I, thoomorrow, the a. I, the the the the the the the the the a. I the the the a. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. thea. thea. theaugh. thea. tea. tea tea teaua teaua teaua theauauaua. thea. thea. I will him to say anything. He pulls his arm back and spends the rest of the second act with his arms crossed. I sit comfortably, enjoying a wonderful show with my darling nephew. Yes, the follower move. I love this story so much. Street aunt. I love that.

I don't want to be street auntie right now. It's so cute. Oh, hell no. Nephew, I don't want you to the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the second the second the second the second the second the second the second the the the the second the second the second the second the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the second the the second the second the second the second the second the second the second the. the. act. act. act. act. act. act. act. act. act. act. act. the. the the the. the the the the the the the to be street auntie right now. It's so cute. Oh, hell no. Nephew, I don't want you to see this. Look away. Look away. That's so awesome, just grab, grab the hand. I mean, that is what an old frog would say of like, well, it's mine because I was using it beforehand.

Yeah, I'm assuming the frogs in the age where it's just like, I don't care about shit anymore. That's my, you know, it's like, you kong people keep taking our seats. And it's like, what are you talking about? Come on. Everyone gets one armrest. Everyone gets one armrest. Yeah, you can't get two. You can't get two. You can't get two armrests is the middle

seat on an airplane. Because if you're on the window, you get to lean on the window. If you're on the aisle, you can take the aisle armrest. And the person in the middle. And the person in the middle, th, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the the middle, is the middle, is the middle, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is, is the, is the, is the, is, is, is the, is, is the, is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is, is. is. is. is. is, is. is. is. Is. Is. the middle, is, is. the middle, is. the middle, is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is a. Is a. Is a. Is a. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the'm in the middle, I never get both armrests. I never get either armrest when I'm in the middle, but I just, I think about that. I sit there like this and I go, you know, the person in the middle should get both. That's, that's, every time. Every time, I agree that they should get it. And they don't get it. There's no spoken rules about armrests. And also, her wording is he was elbowing her before that,

so he was very much like, There was spillage. In her space. Yeah, just an entitled, invasive person. Spillage is like a signfelled term, I just realized. Spillage. There was spillage. It's like, keep that, people. As someone who is used as a door at every, like, whenever I'm out, sorry, whenever I'm out at a club or out of thing, people will find their way where they need to go through

me. Yes, I've always used to be a door. And then, so I'm always like, oh, I'm the one in the way somehow. I've noticed that. I've noticed that about myself, too, when I'm walking, and the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I's, I's, tho, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, tho, tho, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, tho, tho, tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, tho, tho... tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tha. th th th th th th th th th th thoo. tho. th th myself too when I'm walking and there's crowds, when someone's, when you're walking in the state like at someone and I'm like, oh, you're not going to move at all. I'm like, both of us should move out of the way, but I'm like, oh, I have to dodge you. I love that terminology. Right.

I feel like, and I feel like a rotating door. That's happened to me too! It's like they see the tallest person and they're like, excuse me. I hate the term, I hate the term that I see on TickToc a lot of referring to people as NPCs, but whenever someone does that and I'm like oh it's like you don't even see me and I have to move out of the way of you. I'm like, are you actually a robot? Are you just a little computer program that's moving around? It's the spatial awareness. It's like, okay, if you're sitting and there's an armrest, hello?

We're here with everybody. It's like, thrown. Think about it, frog. I'm racially unaware, I stay so far away from them. If I clock them, I'm like, I will never be your friend. I'm going to leave myself from your existence. But like also, she did this and she said hand on hand and looked at him and was like, oh hell no. And he was like, ah, bom, brib. I love, that's the best move ever. Pretty awesome. I'm gonna pull that's the best move ever. Love it. Pretty awesome.

I'm going to pull that on planes now. Oh God, someone's going to be like, pphh. I'm going to do that and I'm going to look at him and I'm going to go, this plane's going down. This plane's going down. This plane's going down. the plane's going down. Reddit story. All right, you want to give me this armrest? Okay, now we're good. Okay, some comments here.

Dominance asserted. Someone else said, this was great, you could also have laced your fingers together for an extra fuck you. Someone said, should have licked your arm before placing it on his, power move. And then someone else said, Angel on your shoulder tacitly approves. Is there a dick? thicicicicicicicicicic dick, thi dick, th. thiiiii. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho-a, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Do, th. Do, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho-a, tho-a-a-a-a-a-auuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, dominance, Angel on your shoulder tacitly approves. Is there a dick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The dick's like, yeah! The dick angel on your shoulder approved.

Oh man, that's really great. Okay, next one. I love that. Also, the Lion King on Broadway is an incredible show. I've heard it's unbelievable. I don't remember the elephant because I saw it so long ago, but wow. Unbelievable. I really want to see it. So good. Yeah. Okay.

Petty revenge. Yay. Here we go. Quit my job at an upscale steakhouse, but not before making sure all the customers knew what a prick the owner was. Okay. This happened back in 2009. The good years. Okay, pantyliners. Pantyliners years.

This happened back in 2009, but I shared it in a comment on another sub yesterday and figured it belonged here too. I was waiting tables at an upscale steakhouse and the company culture was absolute garbage. The owner, Gary, was constantly throwing tantrums and screaming at everyone, and we all hated him. He'd line us all up before every shift just to berate us and yell how lucky we were that he'd hired us because we were all shit at our jobs

and no one else would ever have us. Stuff like that. The only reason anyone ever stuck around was because the money was good due to the high ticket prices and solid customer base, as well as the fact that there weren't many other employment options for fine dining services in the area. In addition to being a massive prick, Gary was also a cheap bastard. There was this six-foot tall dessert cooler in the kitchen that had a broken door, and

he put off fixing it for months because he didn't want to spend the money. So it was just sort of hanging on its hinge and you had to really be careful opening, Inevitably, during the height of a Saturday night rush, it fell completely off and hit one of the servers hard. So she's laying there on the kitchen floor, bleeding from a serious looking wound on her head, and Gary is standing over her and screaming down at her, way to go, just brilliant. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? It's the middle of the rush. You've got a full section, and no one's going to be able to be able able able to be able able able to be able to be able to pick to be able to pick a to be able to able to able to able to able to able to able to a to pick. pick up your goddamn tables because everyone who works here is useless and incompetent. You should have been more careful. I'd seen a lot of his shit, but this was the hard line, and I made a decision right then

that I was out. So when I got home that night, I typed up a letter to Gary, telling him exactly why I was quitting and leaving no detail out when it came to his tantrums, his verbal abuse and and the hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards hazards in hazards and the hazards in hazards in hazards and the hazards in hazards and the hazards, and the hazards, and the hazards, and the hazards, and hazards, and hazards, and hazards, and to to to toe, toe, tooom, tooom, too, and too, and, I was too, too, too, to, I, to, I, to, I, and, and, and, and, I, and, and, I, and, I, and, I, I, and, I, I, I, and, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, I, I, I, and, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.. the the the the the th. thi, I'm, th.e. th. th. th. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. th. to, th. th. thi, and, and, and the workplace that he wouldn't address. I printed out 30 copies, went in early for my opening shift the following day, mid-afternoon, the place was only open for dinner, and hid them all over the restaurant where guests would find them. In the menus, under the napkins on the tables, in between paper towels and the restrooms, etc. Some were in really obscure places so they wouldn't be found right away and would keep popping up randomly. Surprise, allowing my legacy to live on. Then instead of working my shift, I left before the pre-shift lineup. Fast forward to a couple days later

when a co-worker reached out and shared with me the beautiful details of Gary's head almost exploding with rage when he found out about the letters. A couple tables read them and walked out before ordering. People in the dining room could hear him screaming from the kitchen. Apparently, they were still finding letters weeks later, and every time one surface, the vein and Gary's forehead would pop out and he disappear into his office and slam the door. It remains one of my proudest moments, and my only regret is that I couldn't be a fly on the wall wall watching this all unfold. That's pro revenge. That's not petty.

I love that. Is that like, remember the movie waiting? Like, is that just like a better part of that movie with Ryan Reynolds? I guess. That is brilliant. Why didn't he, what do you mean? To watch the reveal? He probably wanted to get out of there.

Gary, scary. Ga, scary. That scary. I, scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I scary. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I that. I. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I love. I love. I that. I love. I love. I love. I that. I that. Ito get out of there. Gary, Gary sounds a little scary. I hope Gary, scary scary scary scary. I hope scary scary scary. It's harmless in a way that it's like, you're just leaving information around. And then it's like, it's like Easter egg. Yeah. Yeah. It's really. It's harmless in a way that it's like, you're just leaving information around. And then it's like Easter egg hunt thing. It's like oh, they're.. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's the the the the the the the the scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. the scary. the scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. Scary. It's harmless. It's harmless. It's harmless. the scary. the scary. the scary. the scary. the scary. the scary. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the scary Easter egg hunt thing. It's like, oh, they're in little places. It's fun. Yeah, exactly. You're just leaving facts around. Yeah. What would you do if you found a letter like that while you're eating at a restaurant? I would be a little confused at first. I'd be like, what is this? And then, Shane's like, rip? I think if I understood, I think if I I think if I understood, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the the the the th. the th. they they they th. they th. they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thi. the. thi. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theee. the. here is saying that this place is awful work. I think I probably would probably leave.

Like if someone had the need to hide this information and spread it because they couldn't otherwise, it's like, oh, I'd leave. I'd probably go up to the host and be like, is there something going on in this restaurant? Yeah. Do I need to call the forces? Exactly. Of the police? I don't know. Do I need to call the army? What other? All the King's horses and all the things? Do I need to call the King's Court to come in here on their horses? To end this all back together again? As someone who's cried in a walk-in freezer at a restaurant, oh... Restaurant culture alone. I've cried many times in a walk-in. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their it's the best. My only regret is that I wish the tears hardened into

little crystals. Oh, and you're there and you're just like, and then someone fucking busts in to try to move a cake and they're like... And you're like, and you're like... I'll be right out and they're like, okay. Okay. Don't care. Yeah. It's like it's already hard enough when it's just the restaurant and so like to have like to have like to have to have to have to have to have to have the Gary the to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's the the the the the the the the the the they. I's the they. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their trires. I's tri. I's triare. I's tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tears. I's tea. I. I. I. Yeah. It's like it's already hard enough when it's just the restaurant and so like to have a Gary there No way scary scary Gary. This is I'm taking notes on this. Yeah, this is incredible. That's great Some comments here great story to read with my morning coffee. Fuck Gary Someone else said I am usually the person who preaches to leave the job with dignity no matter how bad the circumstances, but this was eft up Gary got what he deserved. to????????? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? the? to? the? to? the to? to? the the the to? to? the to? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the who preaches to leave the job with dignity, no matter how bad the circumstances, but this was effed up. Gary got what he deserved, you should have made more copies. And lastly, someone said, holy shit. Hopefully, they went out of business as word got out.

OP responded, the place itself is still in business, but I'm pretty sure it's under new ownership, thankfully. That's great. That's great. That's a the place, the place, tha, tha, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. that, th. that, that, that, th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. G, th. G, th. G, th. G, th. G, th. G, th. G, th. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. th. G. G. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that, that, that, th.'s great. Also, I feel like that was kind of leaving with dignity. That's what I was just going to say. Sorry, comment. I feel like that's, there's dignity to that. Moved yourself, but you just kind of informed everyone. It's like, because a news story isn't going to pick this up. Like, it's like, how else do you spread this word?

Scary Gary. And then that lady that you were doing earlier interviews him. So scary Gary. Oh, we want to talk to you. So we have a little scary. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. The drugs haven't kicked in. We've got scary. Sorry, is this your armrest, Gary?

We've got scary Gary here to talk with us. Tell us what's going on. I'm sorry, put my whole hand in your mouth. That was great. I just want to play this host so bad. I know. We've got scary Gary here and also our advertisements, we want to thank you guys for coming in hot Macy's. You get 20% off if you used my name, Carol Lynn.

The entire top half of your head does not move. Is it like the strenographer that we were talking about? Yes, it is. The core stenographer. Can I just play someone who has dead eyes? Please. OK. All right, next story.

Trigger warning, to catch it and skinny liners. Why didn't you trigger warning cat shit and skinny liners? I didn't know that was coming. I'm just kidding. Uh, all right, here we go. Petty Revenge. This comes from petty revenge. Wife thinks I'm taking longer than I need in the bathroom, so I make sure she knows it's legit.

Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. This is going to be truly petty revenge because this is a husband to his wife, so hopefully he's not doing something horrible to her like. Swearing shit on her. Yeah, so I swore to cat shit on her doorknob. All right, here we go. My wife and I bought our first house shortly after our wedding. Everything went smoothly and we enjoyed our time as newly weds. Of course as the honeymoon phase began to fade, some minor issues started to emerge. For her, the first one was the typical guy on the toilet problem. So, sometimes I spend quite a bit of time on the toilet. It's all legit, though. I'm not just scrolling on my phone. I mean, I also do that, but I'm also doing what I'm supposed to be doing as well. on how long I was spending in the bathroom and commenting on it. This was exacerbated with some unlucky incidents

of her asking when I was coming out, just as I was standing up and about to flush the toilet. So it seemed like I was just standing there until she said something and flushing too fake like I just finished. For context, I eat a lot. I usually eat about 3,000 calories a day, give her take, and I'm a thaa, tha, tha, tha, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a thi, toe, I'm a toe, I'm a toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, and I was a too, and I was a too, and I was a too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi., the thi., thr., the thi., the the the thea., the the the theau., the tooooooom., the too, the thi., and I'm a thin-framed guy, 160 pounds, give or take in about six foot five, back when I was still getting used to the bowel movements associated with eating that much and they tended to come at random

times and varying amounts. My wife though didn't believe me. Her diet was much less structured than mine and she had no notion of what was going on in the room for so long. This culminated in a tri. the t. then, the, the, the, the, the, te, te, te, te, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, toda, today, today, today, today, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, toda, toda, to, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, a few arguments with her accusing me of wasting time in the bathroom on my phone and myself insisting that I was indeed pooping. They were mostly joke arguments, but I really wasn't wasting time and was actually a little offended that she wouldn't believe me. So I decided I would get a little revenge and clear my name in the process. So the next time I was in the bathroom and my wife was an earshot, I began loudly announcing the following at the appropriate intervals. Poop is currently exiting my butthole, shortly followed by, poop has finished exiting my butthole. I would do this two or three times for however long I was in the bathroom during which I would be met with laughter or groaning from the other room depending on how many times I had made my announcement

that session. After a few how many times I had made my announcement that session. After a few days of this, she would get grossed out and say, okay, okay, I get it. Since then, I've developed a much more predictable poop schedule, but I no longer get questioned as to my going on there. the bathroom in the bathroom, thiiore, thiiii. Okay, is this wife, thi, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, okay, okay, okay, thi, thi, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. too. too. too. too. too. too. tooo. too. too. too. too. tha Like what is going on there? I think it's all joke are he said it's joke arguments I think this is all like oh my god you're

wasting your time in there he's like no I'm really it's really happening for 45 minutes. I know people like that that will be I have a friend who's like that that just will be pooping forever. Yeah I'd I can't relate. You know, sometimes it's like, you know. I can't relate, no, I'm one of those people. I'm like, I'm in and it's like, done. Shane, she's like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, done!

He doesn't even wipe jeans on. The jeans wipe for you as you pull them off. Listen, sometimes it's like holding a cracker above a gopher hole. What do what? You're just like, you're wafting the scent in for the gopher to, you know what I mean? You gotta, it takes a minute to like coax it out. Sometimes.

Okay room. Okay room of people not agreeing. A cracker over a gopher hole? To to co. to coa. to coa. to coa to coa to coa to coa to coa. to coa. to coa. to coa. to to to to thoake thoake thoake thoake thoake thoake the thoake the the thock. thock. thock. thoof. thoffic. the tho. to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thof. A thof. A thof. A thofofof. A toaf. tofofoaf. tofofoaf. tofofoafer. tofoafing. tofofofof. A thof. A tho agreeing. A cracker over a gopher hole? So coax it out. You got to sit there for a while. You got to sit there for a while. What's the scent? The toilet bowl? Yeah, like the water of the toil. The water's like, come come to me. Sometimes you, you know, sometimes it takes a minute. It's always shocking to me how different everyone's experiences are. I mean, yeah, it does the you you you you you to you to you to you you to to you you you to to you you you to to you to you you to you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit you to sit, you to sit to sit, you to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit th. You th. You th. You thi thi thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. Wait a thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You to sit thi to sit different everyone's experiences are. I mean, yeah, it does take a minute. I just would never think of a cracker and a gopher hole.

I just know, I don't struggle with that, man. I'm a very lucky person. I'm one of those people that can fall asleep immediately. Clearly, I sit on the toilet and it's my body's like, we're ready. It's just like, Pss, you're like, done. You're like, I'm done. The poop has left my bottle. I like to cannonball onto the toilet seat. Yeah!

BOOPS. Really? Okay. Wow. What a story. All right. It is hard when you have one bathroom. I definitely have one bathroom. I can see that being... In the comments they say

they have multiple bathrooms so I don't know. She's just... She's just... She's just... Is he not spend enough time with her? She jealous of the toilet? I wish you'd shit on me. I wish you'd crack her over my gopher hole. Some comments here. Ironically, 75% of the readers of this post were on the toilet. Someone else said, so how long do you sit on your throne, your majesty? Someone said, wow, I'll be forever single. I will never explain my bowel movements to anyone or any other activity I choose to do solo behind a closed door. I love that. OP responded responded, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th you th you th you th you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the thruu throoooooooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the thea. the the th my bowel movements to anyone or any other activity I choose to do solo behind a closed door. I love that. O.P. responded, we used to be squeamish about it, but now you might say we just don't give a shit. Yeah. Hilarious. This guy's a comedian. Scary, Gary.

What I will never understand and I will never be this, even if I'm someday married for 30 years, I will never leave the door open while I'm in the bathroom. I cannot fathom that. Very true. No, I'm shutting the door. I like to pretend that it's Schrodinger's box and when I shut the door, that I exist in a different plane of existence. Well, my, sometimes when you shut your door,

it, sometimes when you shut my door, door it's like an old handle you get stuck sometimes so I don't fully close it close it so there's sometimes this little like line where you can peek in and sometimes I'll look over and it's just guard his eyes and he was like what what? What? Yeah because I don't want to shut the door and get locked in? So sometimes I'll just be there and I'll look over and it's just like the little and just a six foot five Belarusian looking in. I'm like, what are you done? Or like, hey, do you want coffee?

Like, it's just, it doesn't really bother me that. That's different than being like, you know? You know, it's having the same. The cracker is out by the poop knife. Have you guys ever heard about the poop knife? Yes. No. Poop knife is a legendary Reddit story. We can read it sometime.

Okay. Basically, the TLDR is that someone's visits a friend and they have a poop knife hung up in their bathroom. That's enough. Meaning, it, to cut it off? To cut, to cut, like, yeah. And it's like the family, the whole family's like, yeah, the poop knife.

And it's like so normal. Meaning like you have to go? We'll have to read it at some point. We'll read it at some point. How did they clean? I don't know if it's it it it it if it's for, I don't know what, I forget what the exact purpose of the. Oh, to cut it up so it goes down?

Yeah. Ha! Ha! Ha! I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah, plunge. Amanda, you are married, is there any form of petty revenge that you or your husband have ever gotten on each other? Like, like of that level.

Uh, definitely. We fuck around with each other all the time. We used to have this window in our shower that you could see through into the toilet. What? I don't know. And our old place. We used to have this window in our shower. It made no fucking sense. And so you could like peek in the window and see you on the toilet. And Garde one time was cooking steak and he had the steak through

the window and he was like, dinner's ready. So I was going to the bathroom and I was like, stop. It's scary. We fucks th th th th th th th th th th the th th th the th th to the to the to the bathroom and I was like, stop, it's scary. We fuck with each other constantly. Stakes scares me. We really fuck with each other constantly. I can't think of something super specific but. No, that sounds pretty fucked. No, that sounds pretty awful. Okay, this is our last story.

Wow. I'm sad. I feel like we're out of sleep over. And it comes from pro revenge. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. the pro??? the pro? the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We's, th. We's, th. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thi. thea. thi. thi. S-s. S-s. S-s. S-s. S-s. I'm sad. I know this has been so fun. I feel like we're out of sleepover. And it comes from pro-revenge. Okay, the pros are really yeah. It's in quotations. The title's in quotations. I'll come back so long as Larry isn't there. I love these names. All right. Got permission to share this from my buddy who is a software engineer. Background. To give you some background on my friend Tim, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I's the. I'll the. I'll the. theateateat. thoooooooo. theooo. theoooo. theoo. the. their their their their this from my buddy who is a software engineer. Background, to give you some background on my friend Tim, made-up name, he has been programming since he was like seven years old, just like Tim.

Tim said by the time he got to college, he breathes through most of his comp-si classes because a lot of the content they were covering he had already mastered years prior. Tim is an excellent programmer. Tim's career has been quite successful. He's th th th thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. to thi. to to to to thi. to to the the thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. Hea th. Hea. Hea. Hea. He's the. He's the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th successful. He's worked for Google, Facebook, Amazon, and finally a hedge fund. The story starts at the hedge fund. Tim works a lot with AI technology, and at this hedge fund, he was the lead programmer manager

who spearheaded an effort to optimize their AI that helped them complete literally millions of trades a day. To say his work had a massive impact was an understatement. All of this was going on with COVID-19 in the background. Due to COVID-19, they went to a work-from-home model, where my friend Tim kept working. During the work from home, Tim was looking around his fancy $4,500 New York City apartment and wished for things like a yard, a heated pool, a nice three-car garage and not living in a high rise. It dawned on Tim that he could leave New York City. Tim moves to Michigan.

So Tim moved back to his hometown in Michigan where he bought himself a really nice home with a heated pool, a three-car garage, a nice yard, and guess what the yard had in it. A mother-in-love sweet, which he turned into his man cave. It's actually pretty sick. Oh yeah, and his mortgage payment was far less than his $4,500 a month rent, like half.

Tim spent the rest of his COVID-19 work from home, pounding out projects, et cetera. He never actually informed his employer on official basis he moved. He just kept working. Then COVID-19 is finally over, back to the office. th. th. th. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe, toe, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th. It. It's, th. It's, th. It's, t, th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, to. It. t. t. t. t. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. too. too. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. He just kept working. Then COVID-19 ended. COVID-19 is finally over, back to the office. Or, Tim's boss, Larry calls him up and goes, all right, Tim, on Monday, we are starting work back at the office. And Tim goes, yeah, about that.

I moved to Michigan. Larry is shocked and goes, you didn't even ask if you could do that. and Tim basically said, I didn't thied thied thied thied to to told told told told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too, too, too do that? And Tim basically said, I didn't know I needed your permission to move in a sarcastic as fuck way. Larry insists that Tim needs to move back to New York City or he won't have a place on the team. Tim says he's been doing the exact same work from home at a high level for the past year. He's willing to tra higher outside of New York City, he has no desire to live in New York City, to which Larry said if Tim doesn't have any desire

to live in New York City, then he has no desire to keep Tim employed. Now dear Reddit, what do you think a talented senior programmer with over a decade of experience who specializes in AI technology is going to say to a response like that? If you're thinking he quit, he quit, he quit, he quit he he he he he he he he he thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that he that that that that that that's that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that is that. If you're thinking he quit, you'd be absolutely right, he quit. Maintaining complex code can be hard. Now, anyone that has done any programming knows that sometimes the best person to maintain the code is the person who wrote the code. There's logic, there's thought processes, there's so much that goes into programming that can be so individualistic, it can be hard for someone to take over a code base they didn't write. John's CEO enters the picture. Six weeks go by.

When John calls Tim, John is the CEO of the hedge fund. John gets Tim to agree to consider coming back, so that's when John suggests they fly Tim to New York City to sit down with John. Tim however flipped the switch and said, no. How about you fly out to Michigan, and we discussed this. Tim wanted to establish that if he was going to come back it was going to be from home working in Michigan and if he was going to talk employment it was going to be done in Michigan. John agreed and two days later flew out to meet with Tim. Tim sits down and John says they really need him because he provided a whole lot of value to

the organ team is struggling. John offers Tim the opportunity to come back with a 20% pay cut, since he won't be living in New York City, and John called that a cost of living adjustment, to which Tim said, no, I want a 15% raise above what I was earning. John sits back in response, the reason we pay what we pay is because we ask you to live in and we understand that it's an expensive city to live in. To which Tim says, you pay what you pay and you pay it because I am worth it. If I wasn't worth what you pay, you wouldn't be paying me. Now my first condition is if you want me back, it'll be a 15% raise. John

goes, and second? The second condition is I'll come back so long as Larry isn't there. John sighs. You're asking for too much. To which Tim goes, you don't need to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the to. I'll the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. I. I's to. I's. I's. I'll to. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. I'll try. I'll try. try. tell. try. tell. the tell. the the the the the the the try. the the the the the the for too much. To which Tim goes, you don't need to bring me back if you don't want to. I'll be fine elsewhere. John goes, I'll talk to the partners. Tim says, my offer is good till Friday. John responds, what do you mean? Tim says, next Monday is when I'm going to start looking for work. This offer is good until Friday. It was Tuesday. John leaves. That Thursday, the phone rings. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. tho's thoes thi is thi is thi's thi's thi's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeee. theeeeeeee. theeeeeeeeeee. thee. the. the. the. the. John leaves. That Thursday, the phone rings. It's John. In conclusion, Tim, we are transferring Larry to a different fund. He won't be working with you anymore, and we are fine with giving you a 15% raise. Can we send you an offer letter for you to sign? Tim says, of course, and Larry is really gone?

John goes, yes, you will never need to interact with Larry ever again. That was the start of this year. Tim hasn't been in New York City, hasn't heard from Larry, hasn't seen Larry on any communications, etc. Damn. Whoa! Damn. Tim is crazy. Got to move back home.

Dude. Tim is nuts. He took care of business. Yeah, he found his worth. Like, I am just picturing Tim like frolicing in the forest. Swimming in his pool, hanging out with his parents. Like, hell yeah. I know nothing about coding or programming or anything, but I have, there's been several stories in these Reddit stories where coders and programmers, if they write a code for a company,

they are like, they cannot be removed. They are now ingrained to that. I remember that other Reddit story. There is another one like that. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it would be so easy for him to get another job. Of course, because that's why he was saying that. Yeah. Holy good for him. There is a theme in all and most of

these stories about like knowing your worth and like standing up to the way and fighting for that. Yeah, absolutely. You're worth more than you think. It's one of those things where it's like if every single service worker woke up tomorrow and it was just like, hey we all just gonna agree that we don't give a a shit? It's like what can anyone else do? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yes, the th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the th. Yes, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yes, th. th. else do? You're the ones making the drinks. It's so true. We can't, we're either not gonna drink or you know. Yeah. I don't know how you don't get any, we don't get coffee now. Yeah, I always like have a sigh relief when I hear these stories about people moving out of these big bustling cities like New York, like a really hard place to live paying high rent and moving to like nature or Marlain I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm they're they're th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's. I'm they's. I they's. I they's. they's. they they's. they they they they's. they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to the. I the. I the. I the. I'm to the. I'm to to the. I'm they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to live, paying high rent and moving to like nature or more land. I'm always like, I just feel for them. I'm like, I feel better for them. Yeah. And he was paying half? Half. Half. Living in a- Like five times as much space. You say a

mother-in-law suite? Yes, so someone said, uh, great story. Do want to add, it's called a mother-in-law-sweet, not a mother-in-law suite, not a mother-in-love suite for couples who want one of their mothers to live on the property. O.P. responded, okay. I'm just a mother-in-law. He's like, okay. And it goes back to Cody. Someone said, well, the O.P. is not Tim. O.P.T.T.T.S.T.T.S.O. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. O. O. O. O. the. O. the. O. the. the. the. O. the. to. the. O. to. the. O. to. O. to. O. op. to. to.. op. to. to. to. to. op. op. O. O. op. O. O. O. O. O. O. op. O. O. the. the. op. op. the. the. the. to. to........................................................................................................................................... life. Someone said, nice try CEO. You lost all bargaining power the moment you stepped on the plane. You're lucky that's all he asked for.

Get the fuck out with that paid decrease BS. Dude is making you millions and you think he's going to accept a pay loss to work for you. And then they're just laughing. Someone said, Tim is a very smart person. We should all th. We should all th. We should all th. We should all th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's all. that's all. that's all. that's all. that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. t. t. t. t. t. today. today. t. t. today. today. ti. the. the. the. th. really should. I feel like COVID did a lot of things for people, but I definitely think a lot of people were like, my God, my life is worth so much more than this grind. Exactly. Yeah.

When there's like a threat of death. The illusion wore off. I feel like the, um, I feel like the Imagine Video kind of changed. It really did change everything. Celebrities got together and they're like, we're going to make an impact on people. And what I think everyone realizes is just like, fuck you. Fuck. All of this.

So many people. I love this song. I want to do, imagine with my people and my friends. I'm Gal Gododo and I'm Wonder Woman. And then everyone on the planet was like, pay me more. Exactly. I need to be being paid way more for this shit.

Yeah, well that was some good revenge. That was, that was actually very uplifting. Yeah. Everyone, because they all, they all won. They got the armrest. won. They got the armrest. Yeah. They got the arm rest and frog went back to his little hole. And all of us, all of us even you at home, we're all Tim.

We can be Tim. We all can be Tim. And we all can be that Gopher just ready to get that cracker. And never ask for three-eighths of a pump of vanilla. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, thank you both for being here. Oh my God, you're so welcome.

This is the best. This was so much fun. It's always a ride. Thank you for watching. As always, let us know what other subredts we should cover. Let us know your revenge stories down in the comments below. And th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thease thease thease thease thecke. the. theanananananann. tho. thoes thoes thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. tho. tho. the tho. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to toea. toea. toea. toean. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thea. thea. the comments below and we'll see you next time. Bye. I'm not going to do that!