Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - Relationship Flops | Reading Reddit Stories

Episode Date: December 9, 2023

Go to http://auraframes.com/pitreddit to get $30 off their bestselling frames. This is not going to end well for them... 0:00-0:46 Intro 0:47-10:09 My bf constantly baby talks https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/6l6aey/my_24f_bf_28m_constantly_baby_talks_im_embarrassed/ 10:10-17:53 My wife and I fighting about a painting https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/7mpfjv/my_wife_28f_and_i_30m_are_rowing_about_my/ 17:54-29:02 I fed my dog table scraps https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xka6h4/aita_for_feeding_my_dog_table_scraps_from_a/ 29:03-37:17 I made a personal joke during a comedy show https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15qzzad/aita_for_making_a_personal_joke_during_an_improv/ 37:18-38:33 Sponsor! 38:34-51:14 I called out my gf for her cat obsession https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mgssr7/aita_for_calling_out_my_gf_over_her_cat_obsession/ 51:15-1:01:24 Guy tips big but takes it back https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromYourServer/comments/ni9jdq/guy_tips_big_to_impress_date_but_returns/ 1:01:25-1:10:01 My wife has been cutting my pajama strings https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1755pn6/my_m34_wife_f32_has_been_cutting_the_strings_off/ SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Courtney Miller // https://www.instagram.com/co_mill/ Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Kimmy Jimenez Editor: Rock Coleman Director of Programming, Smosh Pit: Kiana Parker Associate Producer, Smosh Pit: Kimmy Jimenez Assistant Director: Heidi Ha Audio Mixer: Major Latimer Camera Operator: Josh Kirkwood Art Director: Cassie Vance Assistant Art Director: Erin Kuschner Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Director of Photography: Darren Kho Production Assistant: Joshua Dozier Prop Assistant: Oliver Wehlander Director, Design: Brittany Hobbs DIT/AE: Matt Duran Post Production Manager: Luke Baker Production, EVP: Zoe Moacanin Production Manager: Amanda Barnes Production Coordinator: Heidi Ha Production Assistant: Marcus Munguia Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia Office PA: Ovsana Tsaturian OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Twitter: https://twitter.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $499 a month. Savings May 3, eligibility and member terms apply. Welcome back to Reddit stories. I'm Shane. And today's theme is all relationship fails and or misunderstandings. And I'm joined by Courtney and Angela. Hey. Hey, someone said misunderstandings. Oh my god, just someone's saying misunderstanding? I came running. Angela's here which means the reactions are

going to be crazy. I'm no, I'm just gonna go wow that sucks for them. That's what you do. That's what you do. I feel like if I were to tickle you, wow, that sucks for them. That's what you do. That's what you do. I feel like if I were to tickle you, you'd stab me. That's the energy you give. I just, I came to that realization as soon as we started rolling. I feel like, if I tickled you, you'd stab me. I'd be like, get off! Let's get into it. I love the title of this first one. It's a 24-year-old woman.

My 28-year-old boyfriend constantly baby talks. I'm embarrassed. Okay. This is from our relationships. As the title states, my partner of two years constantly baby talks. At first, it was cute, but not anymore. It's embarrassing. I recently started working in the city so we commute to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, t. the, the, t. thea, and t. t. t. t, and tod, and to, and the the the, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tod, tod, tod, tod, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, too, too, too, the too, the the the the city, so we commute to and from work together during peak times.

Every morning on the train, he repeatedly tell me he needs to poo in a kiddie voice. He's done this every fucking day since I started the job. Recently, we were on the train home, and he kept doing the kissy sounds to get me to kiss him. And of course, this guy standing next to me kept glancing at us weirdly the whole time. One time, a lady hit me with her huge bag, so he kept pretending to spit in her bag, and another lady saw it and was giggling.

I don't know how to tell him to stop this behavior, because it's gotten out of hand. I'm sick of starting my mornings, about how badly he needs to take a poop times 100. When I tell him that I was tired of hearing it, he starts pouting and saying I don't love him. I'm at my wits end. How can I tell him to stop without hurting his feelings? She's like, I'm tired of hearing it, he goes, Oh, ah!

Stop! We've heard some really sad stuff on this show. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi, I thi, I that tho tho thoom. tho that, thoom. thoomoom. thoom. thoomoomoom. thoomoomoom. thoom. thoom. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. too. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. this show. I think this is the most I've ever felt bad for somebody. Oh no. How does she do it? Just I can't imagine, like, because a bus is not a cute place or a train or a subway, whatever it is. Like those are not like cute, romantic places. So it to go, oh my god.

How does she sleep with him? I have to pool. If he says he has to go poo! That's rough. And sometimes I understand like you don't realize something's weird until suddenly you're surrounded by a ton of people as it's happening? Yeah. What does he meet?

What does she mean by there? Pretting to spit in the bag? What is this? I don't know? Someone said, if someone even says potty in an adult voice and says, I have to go potty. Oh shit, I do that all the time. I'm not, oh, okay.

Well, that's embarrassing. I mean, I'm not. I never heard you say I have to go potty if I have to pee. And I might have to take a crazy shit. I need to use the rest to use to use the rest to use to use to use the rest to use to to to to to that that to that to that that that to to that that that that to that to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go that. I that. I that. to go. I that's that's that's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. to go. to go. to go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that. I that. I that. I that. I that. to pee and then I might have to take a crazy shit I say I need to use the restroom. I'm all my wise. That's when you know the difference and I caught that in myself recently but I used to say I have to go potty. When I yeah I usually I'm like I have to go we we and then if it's gonna be a mean shit I put on a full business suit.

to grab my suitcase. And I this is when Shane has been. And I go, I'll be seeing you. I'll be in my office. Good day, lady? And we go, oh, that's when Shane has to shit. Oh my God. Oh, boom, boo, boppah. I light a cigar.

Good morning, everyone. Good morning, everyone. He becomes fully insane when he has to shit. Could you date someone who baby talks? No. Not constantly like that. Seriously couldn't. But people on TikTok, like talk about how, like you see that trend on Tick-Tock where a couple are like, this is our language.

Like what do we say for pancakes? What do we say if this and they're like puckies, like, like, like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah. What do we say for this and they're like pukies? Mummy mummoo? Like they have, they're weird and like sometimes you just, but it's weird that baby voice, which is I go potty. Like, one is acting like a baby and one is being like, I love you, so sometimes I'm going to go like this. That's different. That's different. Yeah. An adult man acting like a baby is so unattractive. In public is also different.

Like, I picture like, I'm at the pool. And she's like, mong, mong, mong. I have to get to the office, babe. She's there. Oh, you got to go to walk. Some comments here. Say back loudly, for fuck's sake, take a shit then. Opie respond, that's what I say when I'm not ignoring his poo comments. And someone said, on the train train too, I hope. And she. And she said, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to me. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to., on the train too, I hope. And she responded, I politely say, then why don't you go take a dump? Or why don't you bother waking up earlier so you have time to do so? Maybe I need to be harsher.

Someone said, you can't tell him to stop without hurting his feelings. Matured is usually a painful process. way you want him to break up. Damn. Oh here responded, I just want to hold on to a little hope. I've begun to seriously consider breaking up. It's not just the baby talk. His fear of adulting is starting to wear on me. Yeah, I feel like I feel like the baby talk is maybe just the tip of the iceberg and that. Yeah. Seems like she's upset that he has to poop in the mornings just in general. I feel like like like like like like like like like like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th. th like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi the thi. thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their s s s sa. their sa. their sa. their si. their si. their si. their si. their si. their si. their si. theoooooo lot of times to like soften like seriousness. Like you know when you're like afraid to say something real, but so you put a silly voice on it, like half of the things that come out of my mouth.

Yeah, or people do that like when I think they know their partners like mad at them. Yeah. But what? Like, bubbbbbb. What they're like, they're like. What they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like't like be like, they're talking in a baby voice, I have to break up now. It's like, I would definitely try to talk about it because he's not hurting anybody. Sure. I love it on his own like swag. Her comment about being like, then why don't you just take a dump then? Then take a fucking shit! Take our shit! I gotta go poo poo, what about a dump? Take a grown man's dump. That guy's got a train going through him constantly. All right.

Update. Okay, good, good, good, good. I thought I'd post an update since the original post garnered quite a bit of attention. We broke up, or he dumped me. Last Saturday evening. He initiated the conversation after I got home from work. It started off with him asking me what I didn't like about him, which I couldn't bring myself to say much about.

Then he told me he didn't see a future with me because he wants to go travel the world and have fun. He wants a girlfriend he can travel with and I'm not her. He wants to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have fun fun fun fun to save for a home and future. He believes in the one and I'm definitely not the one. Our age gap is apparently too big. I don't communicate with him, de fuck, she wrote in parenthesis. And lastly, I'm too close with my male best friend who is 14,000 kilometers away from me and who has been my rock for six years. So yeah, can't say I didn't see this coming,

so I wasn't particularly upset or anything. It was for the better. We are just way too different and want different things in life. I feel liberated and have just been chilling while I get my shit sorted. Hunting for a new place is a real pain in the arse, but once that's done, everything will be okay. So he got up into his high chair and he told her that they were not. He said, wait, go. No, you go.

I was gonna say, I had to take a dump. Yeah. The dump is you. I'm dumping you. I want to travel. Or she goes, he goes, the age gap is too big. I'm two and you're 28. The age gap is too big. I'm two years old. I just think the age gap is a little big. Sometimes your friendship with your best friends are little intimidating to me. Also, I'm three. I want to travel like to Chuck E.

What if he saw the Reddit post? And just didn't say anything to her. Because like this feels very out of the blue. I know it. It feels like he's like looked up every reason to break up with someone and just use them all. I feel like he could, yeah, these just seem like, but I think if he saw the Reddit post, he could just tell her like, hey, I saw the Reddit makes sense. Like he probably in his position felt like she wasn't like you know you know when you want someone you want to shine and you want your people in your life to like want to bask in your life not

dim it and like maybe he just was feeling that when he would go for Christ's sake Kevin you know like he probably felt dimmed by her and so so it's like it's fair. It does it does sound like they just weren't on the same page. I just don't think they're right for each other. Yeah, I can't make fun of him too much for being for acting like a little baby when this is currently my pad time. Yeah and iPad time. Yeah, and I've had time. Imagine a professional iPad kid.

I'm an iPad kid just. Imagine, imagine you see a kid at a restaurant and they're on their iPad and you look and it's like this. And you're like, what the fuck? Oh my God! What are you doing? Every kid in a restaurant is usually watching like finding Nemo or cars, but you look over and they're coding.

This guy comes over here, he's just like, asshole. Not the asshole. Oh my God. That'd be nuts. He goes, update, there's an update. Update. Update. Update.

Puh. Update. Up Dane, I pooped myself. Next story, this is a 30-year-old man. My wife, who's 28, and I are rowing about my brother-in-law's gift, a painting of us in medieval costume. Okay, so they are... What's rowing mean? They're fighting. So I think this is in the U-K.

They're having a row. So this is in the UK somewhere I'm assuming. So my brother-in-law is a decent amateur artist, but nothing great. This Christmas, he was short of money, I imagine. He is a PhD student, so he decided to paint us a surprise gift. The painting is of my wife and I, dressed as a medieval knight and lady.

I have been told that it is because my wife likes the ballad of Tamilin, and I am a fan of pre-Raphaelites. Both of those things are true, but I can't see their influence in it. So it does look like me, and it is flattering. However, it doesn't look like my wife at all, which she admits to an extent. It looks like a much older woman. Also the people are a bit out of of of of of of the kind of thing incredibly self-obsessed people in films might have. It is laughable to think someone might have a portrait of themselves on the wall, dressed

as a knight or a lady. I'm not into the whole fantasy thing either. I am absolutely certain that people will laugh at it and then at us for it. On seeing it, my initial reaction was that he was trolling us and the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thin, thee, thee, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, thi, is, is, is, is, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, thin, thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, is thin, is thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi.ei, thi, thi, thi, thi, that he was trolling us and that no one in their right mind could believe we would want such a thing. He has been to our house and he knows that we are very choosy with our art, which is original by professionals and nothing like what he has given us. Apparently my wife thinks we should actually display it, but the mere sight of it makes me cringe. It is totally hateful to me.

Damn. So my wife is angry at my reaction because he has put a lot of work into it which I won't deny. She wants an apology for being unpleasant. I need to clarify. He wasn't there when I first saw it. She brought it home. I feel like if I back down then the damn thing will be on my wall and I can't tolerate it being anywhere in view. I know it is unreasonable to actually ask to throw it away, but I hard veto people being able to see it. Also, my reaction was honest. I do hate it. I'm willing to accept that he didn't do it deliberately, but I struggled to think of a gift I could have hated more. Basically, I feel that it will make us the butt of the joke, and I don't want that to happen in my own house. Thoughts? Edit, can't stress enough. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. thi. thi. thathea. thi. thi. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thin. I the. I'm thin. I'm thean. I'm t try. I'm toda. I'm try. I'm try. try. try. toda. I'm thea. I'm the. I have not spoken to my bro-in-law about this, just between my wife and I.

Also, great for you if you would hang it up. I don't want to. It's in my house, and I feel entitled to decorate it my own way. Damn, dude! Why is he so worked up about it? You are a piece of shit, man. It's a, it's one of those things that if I saw, if I I I I I I I I I I I's th is, if I's th is, if I's one, if I's one, if I's one, if I's one, if I's one, if I's, if I's, if I's one, if I's, if I's, if I thi, if I saw, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, I th. It's, I th. It's, I th. It's, I th, I th, if, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th... It's, I th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I's, it's, it's, it's, th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. that, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's thi., it's fun. Even if it's really well done or not, it's just like, oh, it's you as knights and. Yeah, I have a friend who's married

and they have like Renaissance style paintings, like photoshopped on their walls of them. Yeah, it's hilarious. I've seen that type of stuff too. I don't think anything of it. People are allowed to have whatever kind of art they want in their house. He's mad that she wants it up or he's just mad at it. Both. Both. But he definitely doesn't want it up because he's like everyone's gonna laugh at it and laugh at us. How many people are coming to your house? Yeah and like how judgmental are your friends? And it's not like it's gonna be freaking on the front door. Like we have art where it's like, thricks, the. I'm gonna put it in the living room where everyone can see.

And then there's like, oh, here's just like the silly one that I like or whatever. And I'm gonna hang it like in the bathroom, you know, like there's places to put it. And him saying like, I won't deny that this person put a lot of work into it? I know and it's, yeah, and what the crazy thing is that after this, you know, he won't age but the portrait will and and that might be more upsetting to him. I don't get it. Is that a movie reference? It's a, it's a portrait of Dorian Gray. Oh. I didn't catch you. Sick dude. Sorry, is this a Benjamin Button joke? I'm the the the the the th. I. I. I th. And th. And the the th. And th. And the the th. And, and the the th. And, and what the the the the the the the the the the crazy. And, and what the crazy, and the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy, and what the crazy. And, and what the crazy. And, and what the crazy. And, and the crazy. And, and the the the the th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, th. And, the the th. And, the th. And, and the the th. And, and it's, and it's, and it's, yeah, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and Oh, I didn't get sick, dude. Sorry, is this a Benjamin Button joke? I made an Oscar Wild joke.

He's immortal, but he has a painting in his attic that constantly ages and gets more decrepit, and that's what ruins it. God, that just got so many views, and I'm just in the video live. Do you know what I mean? An Oscar wild joke, I'm feeling. thia. thia. thiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. It's. th. It's. th. th. It's a th. th. th. It's a th. It's a thi. thi. thi. that's a that's a that's a thi. that's a that's a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi feeling the clicks. Boy, if that's not the promo, I don't know what is. You're not invited to sniper chess part two. Hey!

Don't joke like that. You're not coming to the next battle. Some comments here. I don't know, man. Maybe I'm just weird, but it sounds like a pretty cool, hilarious gift. Sure, something you'd probably hang on the bathroom door because it's, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the the the thoes, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. Ia. Ia. Ia. I'm thea.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooecooe. Ie. Ia. Ia. I'm. I'm the. I'm the. I, something you'd probably hang on the bathroom door because it fits absolutely nowhere, but still. And someone said, surely you have an out of the way spot you can hang it. Pretty egocentric to think it is meant as a personal insult to you.

Be a gracious brother in law and chill. OP responded, saying, I'm willing to accept that the initial reaction was over the top. That said, it is hard, it is hard, it is would find less appealing. Damn, they minus 37 down votes on that. Chat or the the comments hate this guy. Yeah, what an ego, my goodness. Someone said I don't want to, it is my house and I feel entitled to decorate it my own way. Where does your wife live? is what the comment says. Yeah, I agree. Feels like one of those guys that like gets mad at you when you post a picture on your Instagram that's just like kind of not flattering to him.

Yeah. You should have checked in with me before you posted. I look awful. No, this guy, this only time, and I, I feel bad because I, I genuinely thought it was a joke. When I was a kid, when I was like 10, someone got me a Mary Kate and Ashley poster. And I was not like, I was like your stereotypical just like, I was like, like, I like video games and stuff. So I remember getting it, I kind of laughed, like oh this is like a funny joke and my mom was like like I was just I was like oh

oh yeah I was like I was like oh yeah like sick like honestly today I wish I had kept it because Mary Kate and Ashley posters pretty pretty pretty pretty sick that's that's aged very well yeah but no but I wasn't like what the I was like oh I was like, oh, like, yeah. It is kind of funny to think that, like, O.P. really thinks, or at least thought for a while, that this guy was like painting this painting and like, ha ha ha, I'm gonna make him so mad with this painting.

Oh, yeah. Like, I'm going to make his head just a little too big for his body. Yeah. Also someone painting a picture of you is so cool. That means a lot. Yeah, I have that. Someone painted a picture of me and them together. And I, it's not the best, but I have it to this very day. Because it's like, that's so cool.

I like that stuff. In our high school, and it was so cool. I was like, whoa, you painted us. That's a lot of dedication and stuff. You know, I think it's like people do a lot of fan art of us and I always think it's really cool. Oh yeah, you can kind of tell just like right out, yeah, he's a duche. He's like, yeah, we have art in our place, but it's by professionals. Like, they're originals?

By professionals, yeah. Like, you're a fucker. Fuck you, dude. Like, he's leaving no room for compromise either. He's making baby talk like, yeah. Honestly, he should try being in a thumbnail. You learn to get over it real quick. Next story. This is from Am I the Asshole. Am I the Asshole for feeding my dog table scraps from a dinner my boyfriend made for us?

Huh. Okay. I, 24-year-old woman, have been dating Jay, who's 28, for four months. He is handsome, smart, funny, well-educated, has an awesome job, and as a sweetheart. On Sunday, he had a whole day planned for us. We were going to walk a nature trail and then go back to his place for dinner.

I was so excited because it was going to be the first time I'd be at his house. Since we were hiking, he said I could bring tooge, He made us a roast and some vegetables for dinner. I finished my plate before Jay did and took it to the kitchen. There was still about half the roast left and it was close to Shelby's dinner time. So I took a quarter of the roast and some still raw vegetables from the fridge to put on a plate for Shelby. I was carrying the told him I was feeding Shelby. Jay said something like, well, that's not dog food. Jay knows I mainly feed Shelby a raw diet.

I opened the door to put the plate down for Shelby and Jay got up and took the plate away from her. He went to the kitchen and came back with it wrapped up not me, him, and my dog, and that I should have asked before I helped myself, since he would have used his leftovers. I did leave, but not before telling him that he made that meal for us, so I could do with some of it as I pleased, and that he knows damn well how I feed Shelby. I tried to talking to my friend about it later that night, but she said Jay was right to be upset. However, this friend has never really approved of how I treat my own dog, so I feel like she was probably a bit biased and the wrong person to ask. Am I the asshole for just feeding my dog like I normally would?

Clarification, she does not get restaurant food daily. I eat out maybe four times a month. If what I eat is dog safe or the restaurant makes food for dogs on request, then I bring some home for her. Shelby's daily meals are a bit of brown rice, raw vegetables, ground chicken hearts, and beef livers. The hearts and livers are boiled just enough to kill bacteria, and that is all with the approval of Shelby's vet. I asked Jay how he prepared the roast so I could know if it was safe to give her. That's also why I got her fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh. the fresh. the fresh. the fresh. the fresh. the fresh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I was. I was. th. I'm th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm. I'm. I'm t. I'm t. I'm. I'm t. I'm. I'm t. I'm t. I fridge. What a crazy reaction. Oh my God man. I thought I thought she had a

little bit of roast on her plate left and she gave it. Some of it to the dog but if she took some of the actual roast. It depends on the amount that she was about to give her dog because there was half of it left and if she's going and taking like a ton of it I kind of get that. Yeah, his response was half of what was left. You'd catch me across the kitchen out and go, good to give, show me some of the rest? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like always communication, especially when it comes to a thing of like, hey, like, is it cool if I do this? Yeah, because he could have had like meal prepping in mind, which is like that kind of been like his food for the week.

And like, yeah, I just wasn't communicated, but for him to grab it from Shelby? No. It went on the ground, he went, no. Yeah, it's so sad. So she took a quarter of the, she took half of what the, she, she, she the, she the, she the, she the, she the, she the, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that's, that's, that's a lot of food. I'm assuming Shelby's a big dog if she's eating like a human-sized portion of food. Yeah, sounds like a lot. But I think that she didn't ask is I think that's a little bit shitty because it's like it's just like hey like that's not, yeah. If she took it from her own plate if she was like feeding her toe a their toe. to be, their, to to to to to their, to to to their, to their, to to their, th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to told, told, told, told, like, told, told, told, told, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, to, thi. the. the's, like, like, like, like, like, yeah, if she took it from her own plate if she was like feeding her dog, whatever. But she went back into the kitchen and took more of his food. This is her first time at his place. I just, I'm like, whether I even think you're the asshole or not, I'm just like, just ask, like, that's just like, yeah.

Enda kett, thir dogs table scraps. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's their dog. It's their dog. They're allowed to feed them whatever. That's not the issue. It's just like, hey, just maybe, maybe ask. Yeah, because if she's asking him how he prepared the roast in order to feed it to Shelby, that was the opportunity time you just slideled it, feeding my dog table scraps. Yeah, because that's not what that's not what that's not what that changed the meaning of the story.

That's not the reality. And I'm always, when it comes to am I the asshole posts, if you are trying to manipulate the language in your post, I'm like, hey, even if I don't think you're in the wrong, I think you're an asshole for how you wrote this story. Yeah, if it said, am I the asshole for feeding half the roast my boyfriend prepared to my dog? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that didn't be different, yeah. Okay, so let's, there's some comments here. Someone said, in the too-s, So hold on. from the leftovers because there's definitely a difference between table scraps and just grabbing from the leftovers he might have had plans for.

Also, why not ask? Him kicking you out was probably harsh and you guys should have communicated, but all could have been avoided if you had if you had to ask if you had something she had to ask theat. She had something she could eat. She told that t so she could eat on time.

2,479 down votes on that. I consider half a pound of meat table scraps. Yeah, that's fucking insane. That's also, you know, it's like, oh, that's food. That's a lot of money. Buying a whole roast and making that is like money that he spent that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. the. the. the. the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an thea. that's that's it's like, oh, that's food. That's a lot of money. Buying a whole roast and making that is like money that he spent that's like, hey, like, that could cover him for days. So you don't buy more food.

Someone said, info, why didn't you ask? I'd be hesitant to let dogs are some things that dogs can't eat. She said, I did ask him how the roast was made when we got back to his place, but I didn't know how he had prepared the vegetables, which was the main reason I got the raw vegetables from the fridge. He's seen me order extra portions of vegetables or meat with very specific instructions on our dates,

for the purpose of my leftovers, Shelby so I figured he had to know I would have been I would have been giving her some. Two thousand five hundred ninety eight down votes. Yeah don't I don't I don't I don't like so I figured he would know it's like you're at someone's house. Yeah like be a little more respectful and beyond beyond taking the the already made pot roast lame but then to go into his fridge take his groceries and they said they've been dating for like four months. Yeah the the the the the the the th th th th the th. Yeah th. Yeah th. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they they they they they they they they're they they're they're th. they're th. I thi thi. I they's th. I'm thi. thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I th. I'm to th. I'm th. I'm to th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. tho. tho. th. tho. tho. I tho. I tho. I th. I th. then to go into his fridge, take his groceries. And they said they've been dating for like four months? Yeah, no, I think she's super entitled. She's getting super comfortable. And yeah, I mean, calling a half,

like that much meat table scraps, super entitled. Like, and it's so interesting now hearing how she orders extra vegetables with very specific instructions so that she can feed her dog with the restaurant. It's like this person person thi person person person person person person person th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I th. I thi. I'm thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thin, thin, thin, thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thin, her dog with the restaurant. It's like, this person, yeah, it's an entitlement to me. It's absolutely entitled. I think when you're visiting someone, their fridge is like a very, that's a very important thing to me of like, I don't just reach it and grab people's food. Like, you have to really, if once you are really established with someone,

yeah, but first time at first time at his place. And you're just reaching on in and just grabbing shit. I'm like, damn, that would be, this for me, personally, huge red flag. No, for sure. I'd be like, we're, going into your fridge. That almost kind of reminds me of like when people are in your, I don't know how do you guys feel about this. And any chance will be in my car, and he'll adjust the volume, and he could do that, because he's been in my car a billion times.

But when someone's never been in your car and they just turn it up for you. Oh, yeah, no. I'm like, that's my French. Yep. Don't get your hands. I think you ask. It's like, hey, lick your plate I think she's an asshole I think she's an asshole I think it's a

soft everyone sucks here because his reaction was a lot kicking her out yeah and just taking the food away from the dog is like it's just like okay that makes you look a little bit bad too yeah my only defense is that sometimes with am I the asshole posts when they're like all I did was this and they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they sometimes with Am I the Asshole Posts when they're like all I did was this and they responded You're crazy. I'm like true. What actually happened? True. How much worse was this than you're saying it was yeah. Because you're already titled as table scraps and now all this stuff. I think I think maybe He was closer to and the way that she's like I tried to talk to him like? Like? I the the to to to to the to the to he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to to he he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he to to he he he he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he he he he he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the they. they. the they. the the they. the they. the they. tha the tha tha tha to to to to tha. to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to the tothat she's like, I tried to talk to him. Like it's like, okay, it doesn't tell you it went very well. But we'll see because there's an update. Oh! Let Shelby speak! By the way, the verdict was asshole. Okay. So let's see. Ar-R-Ruh. Update. I accept that I'm the asshole for what I said and did to Jay. Some of these responses were harsh, but I see now how and why I was entitled.

Thanks to people that responded to the actual issue. Others going on about her diet, thanks for the concern, but I came here to ask about Jay. Not get into a debate about dog foods. Shelby's been on her diet for six years and is a healthy and active pupo. That's all I and my vet need to know. As for Jay, I apologized to him and he did accept, I to broke it off. He said it was the last straw for him over me doing things without asking first. He has talked to me about taking things off his plate or his drink without asking before. I've tried to do better but keep slipping up. Keep slipping up. Oh, oh, oh no. Hey! Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry. I pooped myself.

You slipped up again and took my hair tie. I didn't realize I was that bad about it, so I'm going to work on myself for the next guy. For people that said not going to his place for four months was a red flag, that was my decision that he respected. I don't want to go to go to someone to someone to someone to someone to someone to someone to someone to someone to go to someone's house or let them know where I live during the first few months of dating and getting to know each other.

Okay, whatever, dude. Okay, dude. Okay, go wash your vegetable. I knew it. I knew it. This was the last straw. There's always more shit. Yeah.

This is not about your dating life. She's like, I'm gonna be better for my next boyfriend. No, just be better, period. Yeah. Sounds like you're just a very, yeah. Very, just, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta be more aware of your surroundings with other people. Geez, that's wild. That's taking off his plate. Whoa. Whoa. Who? Not my president.

It also makes me feel like a bad dog owner. Next time I'm at like an Italian restaurant I'd be like, how's the meatballs prepared for my dog? My dog. He's not here right now, but how do you marinate the sauce? My Italian bulldog likes meatballs. My half a live chihuahua wants some of the sausage. All right, next story. Another am I the asshole.

This was reposted on Am I the Devil? So... We'll see. Am I the asshole for making a personal joke during an improv comedy show? Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

I feel like we always have stories where I'm like, oh, I don't feel like I can say. I don't feel like I can speak on. I'm not a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil. I'm not a the devil. I'm not a the devil. I'm not a the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. I'm the devil. I'm the devil. I'm the devil. I'm the devil. I'm the devil. I'm the devil. I'm the devil. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to. I'm not. I'm not. I have stories where I'm like, oh, I don't feel like I can say, I don't feel like I can speak on. I'm not a professional. If we're talking improv comedy, I'm annoying enough to talk about that. I've been through my fair share of improv shows. Can we get some suggestions from the audience? Poop! I've been the audience? POOP! I have to poop.

A poopy pass. Here we go. You are the an asshole for being an improviser. Stop. And then more of an asshole for being an improviser on Reddit. Wow. Oh, ooh, girl. Up uphill battle here.

Hi, Reddit. Throw away because my boyfriend knows my main account. I need your honest opinions on this. My boyfriend who's 28 and I, 26, were on a cruise to celebrate our two-year anniversary. There was an open-mic comedy night and I decided to try my hand at it. I've always been told I'm funny so I thought why not? Oh fuck. This is so rough already. It's on a cruise? How do we keep layering this? I love cruises. I would die to be there. This is a cringe lasagna at this point.

My routine was going pretty well and people were laughing. My boyfriend was in the crowd cheering me on and everything was great. I decided to spice things up by making some self-deprecating jokes about our relationship. And that's when things went south. My boyfriend's tiny day. Let me tell you. Stop! I started by talking about how we met and then started getting into the funny quirks of

our relationship. It was lighthearted at first, but then I made a joke about his size. I fucking called it! I called it. I fucking called it. I called it. Because of course it's about his size. Because what else is it going to be about? It was lighthearted at first, but then I made a joke about his size. Let's just say he's not the most well-endowed guy in the world. I won't repeat it here, but let's just say it was a bit explicit. Oh, but it's anonymous and you're not going to just say it. She goes, let's, let's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi's tho's tho's thi. thi's thi's thi. Because, because thi. Because, because it's thoes. Because, because it's thoes. Because, because, because it's tho's thi, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. Because, th thi. Because, thi. Because, thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. Because, because thi. Because, but. It's anonymous and you're not going to just say it. Okay. She goes, let's show the picks.

The room went silent for a moment, but then people started laughing. I thought it was a hit. My boyfriend, however, looked mortified. I quickly moved on to other jokes, but I could tell he was upset. After the show he confronted me about it. He said he felt humiliated the and he couldn't believe I would share something so personal with a room full of strangers. I tried to explain that it was just a joke and that's what comedians do but he wasn't having it. We had a... I'm just imagining the joker meme of him like...

Babe I'm a comedian that's what we do. She's got the newsies cap on all of a sudden she's like, I'm just imagining the Joker meme of him like. She's got the Newsies cap on all of a sudden. She's like, I'm a comedian. She watched one episode of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and she's like, I've got this. We had a big fight about it and I ended up spending the night in a friend's cabin. The rest of the cruise was tense and he barely spoke to me. I'm home now and we're still not talking. I've been thinking a lot about what happened and I can't decide if I was really wrong or not.

I was just trying to be funny and I didn't think he would take it so seriously. I didn't mean to hurt him, but now I'm worried I've ruined our relationship over a stupid joke. So, Reddit, you're the assual if the joke was so explicit, you can't say it on Reddit on an anonymous account, then I think you think you went overboard. And I've said it before, but like jokes about people's bodies, you're 99.9% certain for it not to go well. Especially about your partner, and it's in a room full of strangers. There's no- And your partner's right there.

And it's on a cruise? You're like, you're not, this isn't even, you're not getting paid. Like, what are you doing? Yeah, you really risked it all. Yeah, I think were talking about like, it really is like our generation like growing out of it because we did grow up on movies where that was a joke a lot. But I do think in like five years kids are going to be like, why would you make fun of

their size like that? You know what I mean? It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thu, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. If, th. If, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's, th. thi. thi's, thi's, thi's, like, It's insane and I, yeah, it's just, honestly if I was in that situation, I'm gonna be mainly trying to say jokes for my partner in that situation. You know, like it's a room full of strangers. Because what is it's a book? It's like another gig on the carnival?

Yeah, things to look it up for me here. Things to look it up for me. me here. Like she said self-deprecating and then just fully. Wasn't self-deprecating. No, it was boyfriend deprecating and you know that the audience, she probably was like my boyfriend's in the audience and they're like, oh, like so he, the whole audience was aware he was there. He's being objectified in front of everybody if I was in his position and like my partner went in front of a group of people that were like there to have some laughs and they started making fun of my anatomy I would feel so violated and it's like a lot of strangers that like you then have to spend the rest of the cruise it's not like one like, like one like stand-up show in LA where it's like a ton to you like a tonne of. Like you're like you're gonna you're gonna you're, hey, it's small dick. Yeah, like, hey, Henry, look, it's that guy who is the small penis.

And also, like, it is a, like, a lot of comics will make fun of their partners, like, in a way, and I'm sure the good ones are running it by their people before they do like a special, yeah. They're gonna be like, hey, I'm gonna make fun of the kids the whole time, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A th. A th. A lot. A lot. A lot. Athe first time. Right. She really, oh, totally. Well, also the thing to consider whenever you're making a joke about someone's body is like, even if it's like, oh, but they're totally cool with it, if you're making a joke or an insult about some part of the human body, that joke isn't just for that one person, it's for anyone else who shares that same physical trait. I heard that a lot when people were talking about like when people would make fun of politicians and then suddenly like they would make fat jokes about a politician. Yeah. Well he's awful so I'm gonna make a fat joke about it. It's like you're making

fun of anyone who's... That's so true. And that and that politician's not to hear it but your friends who feel that insecure about it. And so he wasn't the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is is th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's they's they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's they's they's they's they's they's thi. I thi. I's thi. thi. I's thi. thin. the. the. the. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi going to hear it. And so he wasn't probably the only person in the room who probably was like affected by that. And I think the best jokes, like sometimes the best stand-up is like really good observational comedy where it's like, wow, they just said something that I see all the time and I've never thought of it that way. And I'm like the best you got is to go, that that thin thin thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best's a weak joke. Joke is old as time, yeah. It's what is referred to a lot as like the lowest common denominator of just like you're going for the easiest nothing joke. That's not a joke, you're not a comedian, you're just throwing out something. Also the fact that she's like, it got really quiet, but then a couple people laughed, so I think it killed. Like, you literally said that. Roll.

And also, like, no, this wasn't a real stand-up show because I have only heard, and I have a lot of friends who do stand up, the first time you do stand up, you're gonna bomb. Like, if you're genuinely in a real situation where you're really doing it, it's not going to go well. just like, she could have said jokes about anything. They're all just having a good time. Like, dude, say Cruz jokes. Say dumb jokes about stuff that's been happening. OP, we have notes. OPE, we'd love to have you on a try not to laugh.

Oh my God. Some comments here. You're the asshole. Professional comedians make jokes like that because it's their job and likely have talked to their partners about the jokes. Talking about that without his knowledge on a cruise where he's trapped with the audience is really not cool. Someone else said, you're the asshole. How would you feel if he got up there and made fun of your looks or anything you were insecure about?

Someone else said, you're the asshole. I would have broken up with you on the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the spot the the the spot the the the the the the the the! And that's our time folks. We'll see you later. Bada baboo! I'm off to the bathroom. This episode of Red Stories is brought to you by ORA. You know the holidays are a time for special traditions and one of my favorite traditions here at Smosh is our annual try not to laugh with our entire Smosh crew. I love it so much that I wanted to to remember it forever so to to to to to the to to to the to to the to the to to the to to the to the to to the to the to to the to the to to the to to the to their to be. to be. to be. to be. their. to be. toeck. toeck. toeck. toeck. toeck. toeck. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the. the the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t te not to laugh with our entire Smosh crew. I love it so much that I wanted to remember it forever. So I put up a bunch of my favorite memories into my aura frame. And look at this.

I was able to preload so many of my favorite memories, so many my favorite moments. This one, this episode's not out yet, so that's a sneak peek. The Ora frame has unlimited storage so you can preload so many of your favorite memories on to hear an unlimited mount, actually. There's no SD card, no USB, no complications. It's so simple, it makes for the perfect gift. It was rated the best digital frame by wired, wire cutter, and the strategist. It is an incredible gift. Everyone would love it, and it's not even that difficult to use, which is a huge, to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.A.A.A.A.A.A. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to.'s not even that difficult to use, which is a huge plus.

So I highly recommend giving it as a gift this holiday season, or buying it for yourself. That also works. Visit or a frames.com. Pit Reddit to get $30 off their best-selling frames. They're going quickly, though, so get yours before they're gone. That's A-U-R-A-Frames. That's A-U-R-R-A-Fra-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA-FRA, th-Fttttt, thkkkkkkkkkkkkh, th. That's th. That's thkkkkk. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F.F-S-S-S-S-S-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-S-S. F. F. H. F. thppppppppppppppppppphhphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphph. th. th pitredit. Use code pit reddit to get $30 off their best-selling frames. Terms and Conditions apply. Next story, from Am I the Asshole and also Am I the Devil? Oh boy, a devil feature. Round two. Uh-oh.

Am I the asshole for calling out my girlfriend over her cat obsession? Uh-oh. So the 36-year-old man. I'm not kidding. My girlfriend, th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- thi- thi- thi- thi-tha-tha-fi-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fe th-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-frames-frames-frames-frames-fframes-fffframes-fffffframes-faa-fa-fa-fa So the 36-year-old man. I'm not kidding. My girlfriend, who's 35, is obsessed with her cat. A 10-year-old male cat, if you're interested, dating for three years, living together for two. Since the pandemic, I've been home a lot more and have realized just how cat crazed my girlfriend really is. They do everything together.

She doesn't need an alarm because he wakes her up at 730 every day by sitting on her chest and gently nudging her face with his nose. He eats his breakfast while she eats hers. If we're watching TV, he's in her lap, he's in her lap. If she's working at her desk, he's in her chair with her or chilling nearby. If he acts even a little weird like hiding in the closet, which I thi thi th is th is th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the thi to the the the the to the the their toe' their, their, their, their, their, their, and gently their, and gently their, and gently their, and gently their, and gently their, and gently their, and gently their, and gently their, and their, and their, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, and I thi thi thi tean tean-s, tean-s. teat-s' teat-s' tea-s' tea-s' tea-s. tea-s, tea'n-s, to the vet. She even takes him for walks with a little harness, which I used to think was kind of cute, until I realized it just meant her obsession would not just be limited to inside of the house. Don't get me wrong, I like the cat.

He's a chill cat. Doesn't mess stuff up around the house, very friendly and clean. I've tried closing the bedroom door at night, but the little Houdini got in somehow, and I woke up to him smiling at me smugly from atop my girlfriend's tits. Anytime I mentioned toning it down with the cat, she gets all hurt and makes excuses. Like how she's had him since he was a kitten, and they've been through a lot together. She's even gone as far as to say he was her lifeline during a period of major depression in her late 20s. Every time I back down and say, okay I get it, he's family. The final straw came when we were talking about relocating together to another country. She wants to limit our search to countries that don't make pets fly under the plane,

ruling out a ton of good countries. I finally stood her pets told her pets told her pets. She was limiting our options due to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the their. the the the their. the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the. the. the the the to. to. to. thea. to. thea. the the the the. the the the the time and it's perfectly safe. Told her she was limiting our options due to her own anxiety, not the cat's safety. He wouldn't be any safer purring at her feet while she pet him the entire flight. She tried to argue that he's a senior pet, but I didn't back down. What the fuck he's 10? I showed her tons of airline literature about pets, the teat safetts, to to to the, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, their, their, their, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tha's, t, their, their, tha's tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, t, t, t, t, their, and their, their, and their, and their, and their, their, the's the's the's ta''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, thea, the's, and their, She tried to argue that physical safety isn't the same as psychological safety, and that she thinks it would be too traumatizing for the cat to go under the plane. Here's where I might be the asshole. I gave her a list of my top countries,

all of which would require the cat to go under the plane. I told her that help for her obsession with her cat. And to let me know when slash if she decided to get that help so we could move forward with our lives. The ball's in her court. I've been staying with a buddy, but it's been about a week and she hasn't called, so I'm starting to wonder if I should have helped her find a therapist before. Oh. Dude, what the fuck?

Has he like ever heard of like pets before? Or like... Yeah, it's also just like him thinking he can force her to change. It's like, very clear that this is who she is. You got to accept that or you need to walk away. He's thinking he can force her to change. You have an older pet. And it's just, it's just, it's weird

that it's all about the move. You know what I mean? Like I feel like it. I do understand a relationship where the pet is prioritized, maybe a little, like, like when the partner's like, I want to be number one, not the cat. Like I get that. Sure. Or like, yeah.

But eesh, this whole like, these are the 10 countries I want to move to. I didn't put one that the cat can be in the. Yeah, he's being shitty. Like, could you pick one? He's being manipulative, I think with that. And I do agree that but I agree that there are people who it's more that I'm like that's part of who you are with how your relationship with your pets are and if it's not in line with how you have relationships with pets then that's

that's I think that's an okay deal breaker but he's trying to I think he's trying to put the onus on her and him being like you need to get a therapist and him him now now now now now now now now now now now now now to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to him to to him to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the the the the. the the the. the the. the the. to to to to to to to to get a therapist and him not being like, oh, I'm worried she's gonna break up with me. Should I, what should I, it's like, well, then no, like. Yeah, and it's all on the move, which is weird to me. Like, I really think like in a balanced relationship, he could have a, he could have like a real say and be like, hey, this cat's coming between us. room in our future for this cat. Like he cannot get on the plane. Yeah. Also, he's trying to make her look bad by saying how unhealthy their relationship with his pet is. But he goes on to describe every normal thing

that every person with a pet has. Like, the cat eats when she eats. The cat's in her lap when they're watching TV. The cat's around her lap when they're watching TV. The cat's around her a lot. It's like, ooh, don't tell them that my dog bed's near my bed. Yeah. He'll freak out. And like, the fact that he wants to get some alone time with her,

it's like, OK, like, is this cat affecting you guys' love life? Yeah. It doesn't seem like it because he just to tell the the the the the the and the cat was there and I'm mad. It's like oh no did that like suddenly cancel out the sleep you just had? I don't understand the issue here. He's controlling I think. And and it's it actually is really scary and can be very dangerous for pets to be under the plane. Like I've heard so many horrible stories we've seen the news about dogs dying in those rides like it's not safe and like. the the the the the to the the to to the to to the the the to the to the to the the the the to to the the to the the to the the the the the the to to to the the to to to the the to the the the the the the to be. the the the the the the the the the the the issue. the issue. the issue. the issue. the issue. the issue. the issue. the issue. the issue. the issue. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the t t t t t t t t to te. te. te. te. te. today. te. te. te. today. today is is. today is. the the today. those rides. Like it's not safe. And like when I had a dog for a short time, I made sure to do everything that I could so that I didn't have to do that because like,

airlines are just unfair and shitty for that reason. Yeah, he posted on R ask that if it was safe to put a cat in the cargo hold of a plane. And all of the responses said, no it was not safe. Yeah. So, and you know this guy had like he just was so just self-serving this whole story like did not even bother to actually consider reality. Well at the end of the day she set a boundary. She was like no I'm not doing that. Yeah is it. And he's just just pushing at it? Yeah. Is this a recent? I don't we don't. We don't know. But either way I ask that because I've noticed a couple. the the th. the th. th. the the th. the th. the th. the the th. the the the th. the th. the th. the the th. th. the th. to. to. to. to. the to. to. the the the the to. to. their. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the the. the the the. the the th. th. th. th. th. t. to. the t. te. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the a couple of my friends have, like, I think since the pandemic, so many of my friends need their pets in big ways because we went through

a legit pandemic. So sometimes I see some of my friends being like, oh my god, I don't want to travel anymore because I want to go with my dog or I want to go with my cat. And I think when you're someone's partner in that situation, you've got that's thapapapapapapapapapapap someone's that that that that that th someone's that th someone's th. th someone's th someone's th. th someone's th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. the. the. the. theat. theat. theateat. theateat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. the, you gotta have more grace than like... And remember, the pandemic was a blip in that person's relationship with the cat because this cat is 10 years old. Yeah, like this, and she's like, it's my lifeline, which is also another very normal thing for a pet to be for people. Especially if like, yeah, she's maybe just been her and her cat for 10 years. Like, it sounds more like, yeah, yeah, their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. their. their. their their their their their th. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's that's, that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the thi. the thi. the thi. that. that. that that thi. thia. thia. thiia. thee thiiiiiiiia. thia. thia. that gone through a lot together. A bigger deal. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, their family, but, like, I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, look, and people can have different relationships, like, people can have different views of pets and animals, but like, I am someone who, I am more like her cat like I would view I view a pet as very much like oh dude like they I'm gonna fucking hang out with them all the time if I can I think that and I care about their their mental state like for me yeah it's also I agree with her I'm like I don't want my my pet to go through a bunch of shit I would feel awful about it I'm gonna avoid that if I can and he seems to kind to kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to to to to to to to to to to th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to avoid that if I can. And he seems to kind of just really view a pet as just like, that's just an animal. He kind of seems to me as more of those types. And that's a deal breaker.

And I'm surprised she's tolerated his point of view, unless he hasn't been honest with her. Yes, well, sounds like she's not. to just stop loving and taking care of her cat because you were jealous of her cat because you are jealous of her cat. you're the tell toe the tele of it. She might a kitty on your girlfriend's boobs. Jebus. Someone said, little FYI, your post has also been cross-posted to, am I the devil?

Just in case you're wondering just how much of an asshole you are, slash were. OP responded, wait, really? Oh, wait, really? Wait, really? Yeah, I mean, but also for sure. That's another instant asshole me is if thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, thi, to, to, to, to to toa, toa, toa. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. too. to, to to toa,? Yeah, I mean, but also for sure. That's another instant asshole for me is if you say like, if this doesn't work for you, this is over. If you're saying, if you're giving someone an ultimatum and they go, okay.

And then you're like, wait, hold on what? don't say that, no, fuck, don't say that. Yeah, it feels weird that he's like, countries and none of them have the cat. It's like, what do you want? What do you want? Feels like they're at a perfect place for a breakup. He's going to move across the country and he's going to stay. Clean break. Clean break!

Well, let's find out because there's an update. Oh, wow. Wow. Meow. start like this. I get it. I'm the asshole. The hugest fucking A you have ever seen and possibly some kind of deviant who compares Dicks with a cat. Okay. Ten is a senior cat. It's not perfectly safe for pets to fly under planes and my girl is not crazy for loving her cat. I called her this morning and apologized. She said she needs time to think. At a kind person's suggestion I sent her a link to my public Reddit shaming. I am now going to go hide under the bed in the hope she notices my strange behavior. Like a tab?

Like a tab. Final update. Jesus, fuck you guys. She dumped me, okay? Are you happy now? Oh my God! Final, final update. Wh-ahhh! Oh my! What a dude!

What a food! Oh, please. Wow, but I love the Reddit stories when there's like literally a dialogue and the asshole like learn. You have it all. What a that's. What a good. What a good.

Oh, please. Wow, but I love the redd stories when there's like literally a dialogue and the asshole like learns. You have it all. I love when you have it all. I love what a full arc. I love that she stood up for her kitty cat. Yeah, oh my god. That's the definition of stepping your pussy up. Geez, fuck you guys.

Geez, Louise, I get it. You don't mess with people's animals and their bond. That's it. And the story, just done. You don't, that is like, it's like one of those things. Like you should, like, they're part of the relationship. It's medicine, it's therapy. It's a way for people to like get through hard shit in life.

that's to think about this, because relationship with pets are such a unique thing, and I would say it's like what's different about it from, in my view and how I see it, is a person's relationship with their pet is like, a pet is like, a pet is part of who they are. And so if you're disrespecting their relationship with their pet, you're kind of just directly disrespecting them, you know. th. And, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. to, to, to, to, th. th. th. to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi,, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their character. Yeah. Like when, like in the golden compass. Well, it's like when you buy, you know when you buy a toy and it's like an action figure and it comes with like, an animal. It's like, yeah, it's like, because that's a one package deal. Yeah, and I feel this thing about like single women like in their 20s or whatever, I don't know what, just like their pet, their pet pet pet pet their pet their pet their pet, their pet, their pet, their pet, their pet, their pet, their pet, their pet, they're, their pet, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th....... th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's like your rock yeah it's so much more than just like a little character that's running around you know like they are emotional security in a way physical security and all like this cat's gonna beat up a burglar but like it's it's her alarm clock

it's her alarm clock it's her alarm clock it's her alarm clock it's a their alarm system I also think something we've covered in these types of posts is in relationships and stuff it's not just about loving and respecting the person you're with, but it's about loving and respecting the things they love and respect. True. You know and if you don't, and doing that is almost sometimes more disrespectful than anything. That's someone that's on Reddit a lot. My neck beard grows it. Oh no no, no, you. you, you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooo. th. th, no, no. But you get it, you get it.

You get it. Just as for fun, just to see what it happened. All right, next story. This comes from Tales from your server. So, service industry related story. Guy tips big to impress date, but returns afterwards to take money back. Shut the money back. Shut the fuck up!

Shut the fuck up! What? What? Oh, that's kind of awesome. That is a, this is literally, okay, that's George Costanza. That is just George Costanza right there. This needs to start with, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Okay, here we go. We had a guy come in last night with his date. Throughout the evening, he was the picture of courtesy and good manners. He complimented me, thank me every time I came to refresh waters or check on the table, made a point to be forgiving of a kitchen mistake, super extra nice, the dream customer, really. I appreciated it, but didn't delude myself that I was the source and figured he was just in a good mood because the date was going well.

They were chatting, laughing, having a great time, so I assumed I was an indirect beneficiary. He was certainly in some kind of celebratory mood because he was sparing no expense. He asked for our highest quality wine. She got our most expensive entree. He ordered one of every appetizer for her to sample after she made her a mark that she was having trouble deciding. It was a real feast. So the evening starts wrapping up and I get their check. I ask if they'll be together or separate.

She starts to say separate, but he makes a big deal of saying, oh, are you kidding? together. You never have to pay when you're with me, babe. And so on and so forth. Then slides me a credit card. I get everything sorted and bring out the receipt. He fills it out and it came to $289 total. He doesn't even blink and makes a big show of leaving a $100 tip. He thanks me for my service and emphasizes that what a lovely night they've had. Of course a tip that size that size that size that size that size that size that size that size that size that size that size that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that size is that si is that si. that is that is. that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. to is is. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. today. today. today. the. today. the. the. today. the. today. today. today. today had. Of course, a tip that size is exceptional, so I thanked him profusely. He said there was no need to thank him and goes on a big tear about how underappreciated weight staff are and to just think of it as a stand-in for all the in-grates who didn't

treat me right, saying, don't plan to e tip, don't plan to eat out out to eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat out, you know, while looking at the mesmerized girl the whole time and not giving me a glance. I could care less where he was looking. I was looking at the upcoming hundred bucks. I thanked him again and said I hope to see them back soon and that was that. So he helps her into her coat and off they go. Great night. I was writing hi. About 90 seconds later. later, he's back in the door without her going, I think I left my, when the door shut, he looked

around to make sure she was out of earshot. He then says, without the slightest shade of shame or embarrassment, mark the tip down to 20 bucks, hon, I was just playing it up for my date. You understand, and turns to go. I understood, but not how he hoped I would, but I couldn't make a scene in the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the the the the the the the the the the the thoom, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tooom, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toyoyoy.a, too, too, too, too, too, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, too, toe, too, too, tooomorrow, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe he hoped I would, but I couldn't make a scene in the middle of work. That's not my place. So I wanted to bring it up one more time to try to give his conscience a chance to sink in and said, okay, sir, you'd like to amend your tip from $100 to $20, is that correct? And even though I didn't show a hint of displeasure in my voice, he shot back, extremely hostile.

Yes, and if I see a cent over the 20 on there, I'm going to dispute the whole meal with my credit vendor. So don't try to pull anything. The most frustrating part of this for me was not going from an over 30% tip to under 10%. It was that this poor girl was being strung along with no idea of who the guy was behind her back It was extremely manipulative of him, which is a major red flag Also the way he's talking is like fucking old school like you understand babe Han I'm just fucking doing this what's with all these these these characters are meeting in this episode they're like they all whatever they all? They all are they all greasers

my head is like you? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the characters the characters the characters the characters the characters these these these these these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these characters these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these the characters the characters the characters the characters the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c the c the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the characters are the characters are the characters are the characters the characters the characters the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. It's copy. Why are they all greasers? My head is like, you understand. Put the cat under the cargo. I got a poop. It's what comedians do. I got a tiny dick and I got a poop. That's my favorite clip ever. I've had my fair share of toxic relationships in the past and really wish someone had pulled the blinders off my eyes. I so desperately wanted to do something to alert this girl to the trick the guy had pulled,

and maybe it would be a catalyst to her questioning his other actions. But again, I was at work and that just wasn't my place, so I altered the bill, the and that was that. Then just in time something occurred to me and I darted outside hoping to catch them in the parking lot. I got lucky. They're parked on the street instead and he was still dealing with the parking meter. So I flagged him down and rushed across the street nearly stumbling into traffic in my haste for a delicious moment.

His date was already in the car, but rolled down her window, since no one expects the waitress to follow you out to your car, waving her arms like a crazy person. I made it across and said more than loudly enough for her to hear. Sir, we amended your tip from $100 down to $20 as you requested, but you'll actually need to fill out a different receipt reflecting your new total for our records. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Your old receipt still has your original tip of $100 written on it, but since you just came in and asked us to change you, charge you $20 instead, we can't have a discrepancy

in our records. That sounds true. I hope you understand. This is just a bookkeeping regulation that goes way above me. It has nothing to do with you retroactively downgrading your tip from $100 $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ on the floor. He tried to pretend as though he didn't know what I was talking about and gave me some line like, I think you're after someone else. I'd only come back because I had forgotten my keys. But I would not let it rest. The more he played dumb. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. t. t. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. Do tip. tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. tip. tip tip. tip. tip. tip. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I t. I t. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tipe. tip. tip. I'd only come back because I'd forgotten my keys. But I would not let it rest. The more he played dumb, the more I repeated versions of, you wanted to change your tip from $100 down to $20. You came back in and on and on.

So we went back and forth for a few more seconds until finally he went, okay, whatever. Sorry for the miscommunication. If you need me to fill out out a a the new the new to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to fill out out out out out out out out out out out out out a to fill out a to to fill out a to the to to to to the the to miscommunication. If you need me to fill out a new receipt, I can. And I, totally even keeled, was like, you only need to fill out a new receipt if you want to change your tip from $100 down to $20. And I'm guessing he didn't have the money in his account because he did it. He filled out the new receipt.

His girlfriend was visibly to the too' the the the the the the the the man was staring daggers through me. You could feel the rage emanating off him. It was quite satisfying to accomplish this. In place of the other toxic men I was never able to confront and all the bad tipers. Ironically, the exact kind he made a righteous speech decrying just a few minutes beforehand. And then off he they drove. I'm sure never to patronize our restaurant again, and hopefully to never never go go go go go go to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to the the to beagedueagedueageduech. the the the toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the together.. together. toageaug. toaug. toau.au. toau.aug. toau.aueau. toa. toa. toag. toeag restaurant again, and hopefully to never go out together again, which would make it totally worth it. Dude, this is an I think you should leave sketch.

This is literally the nachos scene from I think you should leave. It's like, we have a policy where you can't have the nachos with all this stuff stuff on them. Did you go and tell him that? What? I had to check because the fans were on us. There's no fans above us. What? What an insane guy.

That guy is cartoonish. I'm willing to vote for O.P. Absolute legend. O.P. Absolute legend. Incredibly classy the way she did it, too. O.P. is such a legend. And this guy is one of the worst assholes ever, because the problem is he acknowledges what is right and what is wrong. He announces that he understands the severity of the situation. And then, and then, but then goes and like switches it down. So I'm like, you literally acknowledge that people who don't the the the the th. th. th is is is is is is that. that. that. that. that. the the the that. that. the the the that. the the th. the that is the th. that is that is that is that is th. that is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is th. th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. thi. the the the thi. the thi. the th. th. the the th. the the the the the th. the the the th. th. the thooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. the severity of the situation and does it a lot. And then and then but then it goes and like switches it down so I'm like you literally

acknowledge that people who don't tip are absolute monsters and then you come in and just do it like you are fully embracing that you're an awful person. And like he's like and if you if you don't do this I'm gonna go to my credit card. I'm gonna give you a lot like you can tell he's done it he he to go to my credit card. I'm going to give you hell. You can tell he's done it before, and whether it's multiple times with this person that he's on a date with, or he's just doing this, I'm like, are you going to kill this woman? Yeah. No, he's giving American Psycho. Yeah.

He literally is. Also, so, the bill is. Tiped $100. $20. $20 is less than 10%. It's less than 10%. No, it's bad. It's like seven or eight. Bury him. Oh my God. Burry him in receipts. Put him on the cargo hold of a ship.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Comments. Get him. I that way. If it had just been him alone leaving a big tip and like changing his mind or something, or even if he'd done that with a group of platonic friends, I'd have been pissed but I wouldn't, I would have just changed it and let it go.

I only followed up because I wanted an opportunity to clue the girl in and the receipt was the only legitimate way. Well he also like laid it out that he's lying to. He's like, you understand. I'm lying to this to trick her. Someone said, dude, I have a serious lady justice boner right now. Oh my God. Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear aprons. I would. I can't believe she thought of that because that's like so well thought out the paperwork and the receipt of it all. I was like, and just kept repeating the $100 down to $20. Yeah, I would would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. down to $30. I would try to find her on Instagram and be like, hey, I'm the waitress. That guy, I would have not done it that efficiently because the best way was to do it in front of him too. Oh, that was sleigh. I picture it's like the night streets of New York. The streets are wet from a rain earlier that day and she ran out. And she's she ran she ran she ran she ran she ran she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's the s s s s s she's the s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s the s th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was not. I was like, th. I was like, th. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah he's like in a trench coat he's like uh I don't know what you're

talking about no and she's like she looks amazing and you know if she looked amazing the whole time okay last story here this comes from relationship advice it's a little bit of a lighter tone it's a 34 year old man my wife thirty twe thirty-two thi thi thi th tho-a tho-soe thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi tho-soe tho-soe th-soe th th-soe th-soe th-soe th-soe thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi toe thi toeeee toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee toe theee thee thi thi thi thi cutting the strings off my pajama pants and she won't admit to it. Not sure why? What a strange crime? Huh? Huh? She wants my pants to fall off.

You really said a lighter note. Some background. We have been married for 10 years. This behavior is pretty recent. The situation really isn't that bad, but I was hoping someone could have an explanation. I've asked her about this and she denies it, but we don't have kids or anyone else in the house, so it can only be her. In the last year so, I've been discovering the tie strings from my pajama pants have been disappearing.

Again, we don't have kids and I'm the only one who actually has to leave their strings, but none of mine do. I have bought more pants to replace the ones with missing strings, but those eventually go missing too. What? We have a good relationship, and I don't know why she denies it when I ask about it. It's really not that big of a deal, so I don't really press the issue. It's just really bizarre. She is a bit of a prankster, and so am I. But I don't know th th th th th th tho th th th tho th th tho tho tho tho th the point thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a, thr-s, thr-s, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the. And, th know what the point of the prank is, if this is indeed some sort of practical joke. Does anyone else have any experience with this sort of thing?

What the hell is going on? I'm Loki crying. Sometimes, I do notice, sometimes the strings of like your hoodies or pants can't, they can get lost in the wash. Who's also your delivery, Shane? We are pranksters. We are kind of pranksters, but I can't figure it out. We are pranksters. But somehow the strings.

I have a string theory, but not the usual kind. This is crazy. This is not, and hers are fine. She still has her strings. She has all her strings. What the hell is this woman's deal? And she's like maybe it's like the guy who tells his girlfriend that she smells bad all the time. What if what if what if one night he hears like rustling from the closet

and he opens and she's eating spaghetti but it's not spaghetti. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's all all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all the the the the the strings. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's the strings. It's all the strings. It's all the strings. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the the. the th blah, la la la. I was picturing like a like a little monster covered in pajama strings going, oh my god. Oh sorry, it wasn't my wife, it was the string monster. What if they had a pet? He doesn't clarify if they don't have pets. Because what if he leaves his pants on the floor all the time and the kitty or the dog, get it. Oh, cats would totally get that shit. Okay, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their their their their their their their their their cats, th. their cats, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. t. t. to. to. tog. to. tog. tog. tog. to. tode. today. today. today. t. t. totally get that shit. Okay, there's comments. They provide some info. I'm wondering why OOP immediately came to the conclusion that it's his wife stealing the strings. OP responds, because we play pranks on each other and this is the type of prank she would do. She'd do the long con too.

So I wouldn't put it past her to do something like this and keep it going for a year. I'm dying. This open is great. Someone else said, why is your first instincts to distrust your wife? Opie responded, it wouldn't be the first time she had pranked me in this sort of way and denied it for months until I finally believed her. Just to say gotcha and admit to it. I obviously thought it was one of those again. Someone else said, I don't have a wife and all my hoodie, soes, and thoes, and all, sshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshsh their, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, and all, I, and all, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, their, it, it, it, it, it, their, their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it their she, it their she, it, it their she, it their, it, it, it, it, it their their, it, it, it, it their, it their, it their, their, it their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their th. laundry anyway so that's something to consider. Yeah like what if they do their own laundry for their own clothes and she's really careful about her strings and he lose his go away. We have multiple updates. Oh thank God! So predictions now what are you placing your bets on? I think it's prank. You think she's pranking him? I think they're

getting lost some other way. But why aren't her getting lost? Like, I don't know. I think this is his fault. Is this a Dr. Seuss book? What is this? Okay. A thing, a thing, I've lost my string.

So I just got home and checked inside the waistbands of all my pajama pants. I only have five of them so it didn't take long. No strings in them, so they definitely didn't retract. I need to get some sleep, so I'll check the washer drum and filter when I wake up. This guy's got to go to work. This feels like a horror game. This feels like five nights at Freddy's like, okay I'm checking the closet. Okay, I'm checking the laundry. Okay, it's all okay, checking. And also someone jumps out and steals the strings. Yeah, I feel like he's like,

I feel like Jim Carrey would play this person. Like, this feels like a Bruce Almighty bit, you know what I mean? Okay. Okay. Okay. the teak. to. . the. the, where. the. to. to. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to................................. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I............................................................ I. I. I. I. Update number two. Oh boy.

Someone in the comments suggested maybe my cat had been taking them out and hiding them since cats tend to have hiding spots. There's cat. One of the spots is under the couch. I just checked and I found one there. It's just one, but it's a start. I'm gonna check his other spots too. Okay. You need to throw a cat the cat th throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat throw a cat. that. to to the cat. the cat. the cat. that. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. te. te. te. te. teat. te. teat. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te in the mix. If the story is about strings and there is a cat, the cat is involved, the cat is involved. String plus cat equals cat. Yes. That's it and that's math. And that's cat math. Update number three. Okay, so when my wife woke up, I told her about finding a string in our cat's hiding spot. She was amused and wanted to help me look at his other spots for them too. Well, none of his other known spots had them, but she noticed something weird about the

back of our other couch. It had a small hole in the bottom of it. I shined a flashlight in the hole and found a whole bunch of random stuff in there. We took the cushion off this section of the couch and cut a hole next to the spring and voila we found his true secret stash all my strings were there not only that but we found pretty much all of my wife's missing smaller squishmallows and her missing airpods we even found a missing pendant we've to the missing pendant and the body of Jimmy Hoffa no stop we even found a missing pendant that we've been trying to find for years.

I'm going to buy her a box of chocolate. It was the cat. Wow. And the strings weren't like the. We called it. We called it. The cat, the missing strings were like the least valuable thing. This cat was setting up a battle station. I would piss my pants if I saw a cat holding air pods in its mouth.

Holy shit. I'm like, gotta go, gotta put this in my little hole. Time to go. Sometimes I wish they had a stash, you know, because it seems so fun to like find the stash. I know, it's like a little locker. Yeah, it's a little locker. A little pendant. What a cute. What a cute, what a cute, what a cute, what a cute, what a cute, what a cute, what a cute, what a cute, what a cute. Cute fucking cat. This guy's been busy. This cat has been so busy.

I knew it. I knew it. I was like, it's only his pants because he probably like, wherever he puts them is accessible to the cat. You called it. I like that I know what this cat's expression is as they're pulling all the shit. You know that cat's over there just like, oh? Or is like, don't put me on th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that, I that, I that, I'm that, I that, I that, I'm that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they's they's that, I that, I that, they's that, that, that, they're that, that, they're that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, they know that cat's over there just like, oh? Or is this? He's like, don't put me on that plane. Fuck, they're cutting a bigger hole. Fuck, they're cutting a bigger hole. What country are we moving to? Wow, that's amazing. Oh my gosh.

That cat was building a titanic treasure pile in there. Yeah, give this cat a general with Pixar. Yeah, I don't know. That cat. That cat. That cat. That cat. That cat was that that cat was th. That th. That that cat their that cat th. That that cat their that cat that cat that cat their that cat their that cat that cat their that cat was that cat was that cat was their that cat was that cat was their thi that cat was that cat was that cat was that cat was that cat was that that that cat was that cat was thi. thi. thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was thi. It was thi. It was a thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. cat was able to steal all their stuff and nearly end their marriage. That's pretty impressive. A pendant! A pendant, they went, ah! Like, they didn't. So funny? The cat is a legend. the cat's a legend.

That waitress though, she's an the ultimate legend. Yeah, the waitress is tho. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thatrace, thatrace, thatrace, thatrace, thatracea, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's th. That's th. That's thatrace. That's thatracea. A thatr. A thate. A thateateateateateat, that, thateateat, that's that's that's a that's pretty that's a that's that's that's that. Cat, also a legend. Also a legend. Had some legends today. Shelby's also a legend. Shelby's a legend too. Oh, yeah. Any cat, legend. Or that's a dog. A dog is also a legend. Eating a lot of roast.

Good stuff. Yeah, eating good food. to good food. Wow. We should go on a cruise and bring our cats. All right, we're going to go do stand up on a cruise. Is this thing on? Hey, I will say.

We will be a riot on a cruise. Could you imagine? Hey, Royal Caribbean. My name's Angela. We've got seven days. We're here for seven days. Wow, this microphone's really big. You know what is it? BOW! BOT a poop.

All right. Tip your waitresses, but not too much. BOTOMP! I got a poop. Oh my god. All the stories are coming together. And we're stuffing them all in a hole in the couch. OK, thank you for watching.

Let us know what subreds and themes you want to see on here. And we'll do it. And we'll see you next Saturday for some more weirdness. Get out of here. Bye!