Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - Secondhand Cringe | Reading Reddit Stories

Episode Date: June 17, 2023

Reddit is full of embarrassing stories. 0:00-0:40 Intro 0:41-8:51 I didn't look before I sat down https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ag7xhm/tifu_by_not_looking_before_i_sat_down/ 8:52-17:48 I didn't tell him that she's a lesbian https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13809h2/aita_for_not_warning_my_classmate_that_my_friend/ 17:49-30:41 I hooked up with my professor's daughter https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1379pge/tifu_by_hooking_up_with_professors_daughter/ 30:42-41:20 I took a vacation from my husband https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/142zosc/aita_for_leaving_my_husband_at_home_while_i_spend/ 41:22-49:44 I donated way more than I wanted https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13smbtl/tifu_by_donating_15041_to_a_poor_community_in/ https://www.gofundme.com/f/urgent-food-relief-assistance-in-bangladesh 50:43-56:48 MOH making jokes about a threesome with the couple https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/comments/12v6qwb/maid_of_honor_keeps_making_jokes_about_a/ 56:49-1:02:22 I thought she was complimenting my asshole... https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/i8c8hy/tifu_by_thinking_my_laser_hair_removal_nurse_was/ 1:02:23-1:06:02 I just complimented her skirt https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/dw3c6b/tifu_by_complimenting_a_girls_skirt/ 1:06:03-1:14:30 I pretended not to know what a potato is https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/ WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Arasha Lalani // https://www.instagram.com/arashalalani_/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Kiana Parker Editor: Vida Robbins Director Of Programming, Smosh Pit: Kiana Parker Pit - AP: Kimmy Jimenez AD: Jacqi Jones Art Director: Cassie Vance Art - Asst Dir.: Erin Kuschner Art Coord.: Alex Aguilar Audio Mixer: Greg Jones Camera Operator: Vida Robbins Content Manager: Lizzy Jones Dir. Audience Dev & Distro: Rachel Evans DIT/AE: Matt Duran Dir. Of Photography: Brennan Iketani GFX: Brittany Hobbs Post Manager: Luke Baker Production Coord: Heidi Ha Production Asst: Marcus Munguia Production Manager: Jacqi Jones Sr. Dir. Of Production: Zoe Moacanin Talent Coord: Selina Garcia Wardrobe Supervisor: Alicia Balderas OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Twitter: https://twitter.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may be free, eligibility and member terms apply. Welcome back to more Reddit stories. These ones will absolutely make you cringe.

We have collected some good ones today, so buckle up. And our guest today are Amanda and Arasha. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. You're so welcome. It is our honor. You've both been here before. You know how it is. So I would say the general theme right now for these is embarrassing.

These are embarrassing. Now most Reddit stories are embarrassing. These ones are really embarrassing. I get such bad secondhand embarrassment too so I'm gonna be cringing. So, my too. Oh my god I get so cringy. Okay. So here's our first story. This comes from a subreddnet called Today I Fucked Up. This is where people confess about how it's like I just screwed up and I can't tell anyone I'm close to, so I'm gonna tell the internet, anonymously. So it's a bunch of just bummer stories. Oh God. Here we go.

Today I fucked up by not looking before I sat down. Floor 8 of the place of my employment, inside the men's shitter. I'm sitting there doing my sit-down business because the boss makes a dollar I make a dime. I've just finished the dirty work and I'm about to perform my ablutions which is like suppose cleaning yourself but I delay it because it's a paid-to-shit thing, dicking around on Reddit a bit. At this point I feel something jump onto my balls. Something I had never

hoped I would ever experience, let alone talk about on the internet. I shriek. Not a barbarian shriek. Not a Viking shriek. Psycho shower scene shriek. A huntsman spider has crawled out of the toilet bowl and jumped onto my low-hanging fruit.

This isn't an Australian for sure. Like, I mean, it's a huntsman. But the wording now makes sense. I bat the spider off, smacking myself in the nuts, keeling over in pain. Spider dead. Good news. My Banshee whale has not gone unanswered.

Bad news. Someone comes into the bathroom and knocks on the stall door. Mate, are you all right? Have you fallen over? I'll call an ambulance. No, fine. Everything is good, just slipped. Fine. No need to call an ambulance. You can leave now. I flush the world's smallest sexual predator to try and retain some of my inner pride, wash my hands and make the very, very long walk back to my desk. My manager's desk isn't too far from the the bathroom. I the bathroom. the bathroom. the bathroom. the bathroom. the bathroom. the bathroom. to the bathroom. to the bathroom. to the bathroom. I to to the bathroom. I to the bathroom. I to the the the to the very, very long walk back to my desk. My manager's desk isn't too far from the bathrooms, and he comes up to me afterwards. What happened in there?

Is everyone all right? Yeah, everyone's fine. And then I make the dumbest decision of my life and explain to him what had happened. And the audacity of the man. He laughs so hard, he has to sit down so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the th th th th th tho. tho. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi toooo- too- thi. thacity of the man. He laughs. He laughs so hard, he has to sit down so he doesn't hurt himself. His hyena, Cucaburra, hybrid laughter has gotten the attention of some of the other members of my team. They're looking to get in on the funny, funny joke. Boss Man weezes. Get it, get him to tell them, holy shit. And because I'm incredibly susceptible to peer pressure, I tell them, like a fucking gimp.

I'm... Damn, okay. I'm going to skip past most of the laughter because it went on for what felt like forever. I come back from lunch, and boss man and two other members of my team come up to me as I'm sitting back down at my desk, getting ready to get back to work. Boss man is holding a piece of paper. Look, we need to have a chat about something. I've brought two of your friends in the team as support since this is obviously not something that's easy to talk about.

I am confused. I have a blank HR report here. I'll need you to make sure the poop traitor is brought to justice. Under the space where it says, which hand did they assault you with? Just put times eight, we understand this is a traumatic experience for you and I just want you to know that every resource we have is here for you. I will just say based on every Australian I've ever met, this makes so much sense. What? Like this, this, so, so he, a huntsman spider, which are massive.

Wait, is it this big? Yes, huntsman spiders are the biggest spiders in the world. Huntsman spiders is one inch, average leg span is three to five inches. So their body is an inch around. But overall, they are bigger than your hand. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,their body is an inch around but overall they are bigger than your hand like they are or you know relatively so this spider could have really fully grabbed the ball fully fully fully clutched really fully clutched it was like yeah yeah take me home I believe they are relatively harmless to people relative not to balls though like they're you know they're not venomous or massively

like they're not a dangerous spider they're just friggin huge. There's what I'm confused about the ending. Was that like serious? No they're they're fucking with him because they said hey with the hand, what hand did they use? It's like eight hands. How they really like kept it going for him? Oh? Oh? their? their? their? their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they're f. they're f. they're. they. they're f. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not. they're they're they're they're f. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they said, hey, with the hand, what hand did they use, it's like, eight, eight hands. How they really like kept it going for him, huh? I just can't get over the initial like claw grab that it must have gotten. Yeah, like the boss and all them making fun of him, I think is, like, like, it's hilarious. Based on the Australians, I know. It's like, their Australians, it's like, their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. their. thi. they's, they's, they're, they're, they're, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. they're, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're joshing around. They're like, oh, this spot I'll get you? Ha, well, we got an eye toll report for you, you've got to sew on it. That's so true.

Actually, when you say it like that, now I'm like, oh, that makes totally sense. It's a funny joke. be telling a random person on the street. I would be telling people for the rest of my life that a huntsman spider clutched my balls. I just immediately go to visuals and I start imagining this man's balls and I don't want to be there. Well that's fair. Don't picture the balls. That's all I can see. I will say it is an innate fear, speaking as a man, of like, of if, and I think this goes for anyone, of like just a bug being in the toilet and like crawling up like it. I stare at the toilet before I go there. Oh, I look. I can't imagine not looking.

Oh, yeah. And a huntsman spider is so big, you think... I told you that one time that I heard a woman, she sat on poop at a Whole Foods. I was on the East Coast and I went in there and she was with her son and I don't know who did it or her son or the person before, but she went, oh my god, I sat on someone's poop. It was like a little log of poop must have been sitting there. She must have been so mom and busy. She was probably just like, get the pants off and sit and it's just a, pff. No, I absolutely assess. And I can hear the whole thing. I've also typed that in a public bathroom.

I will like check a stall to be like, is this the, is this the stall I'm using? Oh yeah. And I will, I'll there's a drop. So now, the title of it is not looking before I sat down. But I should point out, he was sitting there for a while before this happened. I have a feeling maybe it was underneath the toilet seat or something. Okay, well now that's a new fear that you can't just set up real estate on the toilet. I have seen videos of people walking into a stall and lifting the the toiletetet D-T-Tah! I'm sorry, sorry to ruin everyone's life. That's how spiders work. I guess we can't freaking poop anymore.

Some comments. Flushing the world's smallest sexual predator and the HR form put this story over the top. Someone said, Such an Australian today I fucked up. Someone said, thank you for renewing my mental subscription to, be terrified of spider poop-traders every time you sit on a toilet. O.P. responded, Mate, I've been needing to shit ever since I got home, and I'm having nom flashbacks every time I look at my toilet.

Oh my god. If I've got to live with this fear, so does everyone else. Puprater is so good. I do wonder how often this happens in Australia. You know, it's such a like trope, it's such a trope here in America of like, there's snakes and spiders everywhere. But I went to Australia for 10 days several years ago, and I was in Sydney, Melbourne, Gold Coast. I never even, I don't think I saw a spider the entire time. Were you going to a tour bus the whole time? No, I was in the city, like staying in the hotel rooms and stuff, so maybe I need to be out

like more in the suburbs. Maybe they were clawed to your balls already. Maybe they were already on my balls. They were on that. I mean they were just there every single day. They were with you. Yeah. You're like, come on. We have an am I the asshole. Am I the asshole for not warning my classmate that my friend is a lesbian and letting him

be publicly humiliated? Okay. Okay. What? So, okay, here, it sounds like this takes place in high school since they're, they're very young. So, I don't know how to start posts like this, so I'll just get into it. I, a female female female female female female female female female female female female female to to to to to to to the to the to to to the to their to to th. I'm to th. I'm to to th. I'm to to to toe. I'm to to to to to be tooom. I'm tooom. to be tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. too. I, too. I, too. I, too. I'm, too. I'm, too. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I. I. I'm, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm toe. I'm t. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm, toe. I'm toe. like this, so I'll just get into it. I, a female 17, am in a class with my friend Hannah, also female 17. Hannah is a lesbian, zero interest

or attraction to men at all. The other day, Hannah was homesick, and the guy who sits next to me, Mason, who's 16, approached me about Hannah. We had talked a little before and we're kind of friends. He asked a bunch of weird questions. Nothing sexual, just questions about her hobbies and interests. Does she play sports? That's not weird. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird.

That's sweet. Yeah, I can be interpreted. I don't know how he asked it, but bad. I gave vague but honest answers, then he asked if she was single, and that's when I caught on. I had a moment of mini-panic. Hannah doesn't really try to hide her sexuality, but she isn't super open about it either. I didn't want to out her, but I didn't want her to have to deal with this rando. I ended up just telling him that he's definitely not her type. The belled to the tien't to th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th th. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. thean, to to thean, tooooo. toean, toean, toean, thean, thean, thean, toean, took the hint. Spoiler alert, he didn't. Today while students were still milling around before class, he got down on one knee and asked her to go out to the movies this Saturday.

On one knee! Dang, howdy? The whole class was silent for a moment before she said, no, sorry, I'm not interested. He responded, why? I'm a great guy, I swear. It'll be a good time, I promise. Oh my God. Yeah, that's convincing. She responded, Mason, you know I'm a lesbian, right? The whole class bursts out in laughter

and Mason sulked back to his seat. He started crying and sat down. That's when class started. After class, Mason came up to me and me that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thoom, I'm not th th th th thi, I'm not th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, I, I'm, I I I'm, I I I I th, I I I I I I I I I I I, I I I I I, I, I I I I I I, I I I I I, I, I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin, I thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin. thin. th thin. th th thin. th th thin. th th thean thin, thean. thean. thean came up to me and told me that I'm an asshole for not warning him that she was a lesbian, that if he'd known he wouldn't have asked her out. Another kid, Mason's close friend I think, came up to us to back Mason up. At first I was sure that I was in the right, but now I'm not so sure. Am I the the asshole? Am I the asshole? Am I the thi. the the the the a the a the a the a the a the a th is is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi. thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. Am thi is thi is thi. Am thi. Am thi. Am thi. Am thi. A thi. A thi. A thi is the the the the a the a the a th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi is thi is a thi is a thi thi thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. S. A. A. A. A. A. S. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. one. This is a big high school story. I don't think she's the asshole. She said she's not interested. If I talk to, if I put myself back, and this happened, this actually happened to me probably

several times. You got down on one knee. No. To grab the spider, those other. I remember in middle school, there was a girl that, at first, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to talk, I to talk to to talk, I to to to to me, if I to to to to to to to to to to to talk. to talk, if I to talk. to talk. to talk, if I to talk, if I to talk, if I was. to talk, if I was. to talk, if I to talk, if I to talk, if I to talk, if I to talk, if I to talk, I to talk, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, she's interested in you. You should talk to her. And on the day that I was about to go talk to her, she came up to me and she goes, actually, yeah, she's not interested. And I was like, oh, okay. And I'm just, but I'm like, what am I going to do?

I'm not going to go. Why? If someone says, your chances are not good, I'm like, then I'm definitely not. Yeah, exactly. That's not very promising. And she was in the right, she, that was a fair thought to be like, I don't want to out her, I don't know. I'm questioning if she's, even if she is out, if she's comfortable with her just saying that to people. She's protecting, I feel like her only goal is to protect her, to protect, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is thi, is thi.. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's throooooooooooooooooooooomomorrow, is thi.. that's, is thi, is, and in that sense, she protected her friend. She did warn Mason. You are not her type.

It's not her fault. You can't control people's actions. Yeah, I'm also going to back her up here, because she also could not have known that he's, thrown he. She also could not have known that he was going to do this big grand gesture. Otherwise, obviously, she would have, obviously, the right, the right,, what do you think I'm gonna try and like woo her? Then she could have said something, but she did the right thing by being like, back off a little, you're not her type.

Like, and he, I guess, just took that as like, I have to try harder, which is not the message. It's tricky though, because. It's, because, because, because. It's, because. It's, because. It's just tricky. I feel like that's a debatable one. Although if I were in her shoes, I would protect my friend at all costs. I don't like what Mason did though, like with the whole why, because I'm a great guy. It's like he needs more of an answer as to why she said no. I know.

You got to take no. She had to like out herself now in front of the whole class because he was, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, they they they they they full sentence. I'm a firm believer of like, if you, and it should, I feel like this is pretty standard, but like if someone's, if you ask someone out and they say no, you just gotta be like, all right, fine. There's no, there's no pushing that. Like I don't believe in that. I'm a firm think that's a bigger factor here. As a high schooler like I just

feel like everyone be like oh my god he got down on one knee. Yeah to ask her to go to the movies. Yeah and I also I will also say I in the mindset of this of of course his friend comes up and backs him up because like he's I feel like do that to me? Why'd you why th th th th you th you to to do to do to do to do to do to do that that that that to to that that that that he that he he that he that he he that he he to to that that that that he that he he th that that he he he he he that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I that that th. I th. I that th. I th. I that th. I th. I th. I that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi he he he he he he he thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th Because like he's, I feel like, how did you do that to me? Why'd you do that to him? Even though, even in his head, he's probably going, Fuck, Mason, what the fuck are you doing? Totally. It's in both cases, friends are defending their own friends.

You got to in this situation. His choice of time, place, and manner of asking her out matters. I guarantee that 99% of people would decline a date when requested like that. Someone said, he started crying? In the middle of a high school class? Really? She responded, I guess he really liked her. Never mind that they've never exchanged more than a few sentences and they once worked on a partner project together. I I I I I I together. I I together. I together. I together. I together. I together. I together. I together. I tooe. I tooe. I tooe. I tooe. I too their tho tho their their tho their thathea. th. their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. thea. th. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. the the the the the the the thea. their their've never exchanged more than a few sentences and they once worked on a partner project together. I don't know man. Oh God, yeah. Not the asshole, you had no stake in this. Why did he start

crying? I asked many girls out over the years. That declined and said they weren't interested. It isn't really a big deal and when she informed him he he started crying. Her sexuality was enough to give him a very good reason. Mason should have said, no I didn't know, thanks for telling me. If Mason is your friend, help him work on his approach, maybe in the hall between classes person to person, or maybe at lunch table, standing or sitting, preferably. She responded, honestly, after this whole debacle, I don't think we're going to keep being friends. Her and Mason? Yeah, I guess they were kind of low-key friends. But yeah, he could have handled this great. He could have been like, oh my god, I had no idea.

Yes. Well, sorry, I think. It's not really a rejection. He had really, he had an opportunity to be like, oh, it's not me. She's just genuinely, hey, like, I think you're really cool, you want to go to the movies, and she's like, oh, I'm not interested. He's like, oh, oh, okay, he should have stopped there. But if it came to be like, oh, I'm a lesbian. But if he was just like, oh, well, all right, well, I think you're sick, like, if we're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he's, he. he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, I'm like, I he's, I he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he's like, he's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm he's like, I'm he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. I'm a great guy. Why? But I'm a great guy. He's giving like nervous. Oh, it's because I'm a guy. He's giving nervous. I'm a great guy.

Yes, Mace. That's the part. That's the great part. It's the guy part. Get it. Even from the beginning, he was asking weird questions. the pushing it is just not the answer especially like high school college and honestly the world

in large of just like there's so many people someone says no it's like all all right. Well I'll go elsewhere yeah talk to other people like he goes to the teacher it's okay. Hello will you go to the movies from they? I'm also a lesbian Mason okay. If I could go back to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the world. the world. the world. the world. the world. the the the to the movies? I'm also a lesbian, Mason. Okay. If I could go back to high school college age, I would definitely be less picky and just be like, if I feel some sort of interest in someone, I'm going to like explore that. And you like, I like, hey, you want to hang out and like, see where it goes. And if it's like, oh, I'm not feeling this, this spark. But, yeah, that's what we're like when we're in high school. It's a bleeding heart, like, I want to go away forever. That's what I was like.

I was like that too. The gestures, too, like him wanting to get down on one knee and making it this big romantic thing. Just like you said, it would have been way more chill to just be like, hey, movies? It's tough. And it seems so like, why would you do that? But also when you're 16, you have zero experience with like, or probably in his case, he has not much experience dating and stuff. It's like, you're kind of going with, and you want to do something different, and you want to be special, and you think you've got to do something different.

And you're going to learn to to do something to do something something something something something something something to do something something something something to learn to learn to do something something something to learn to do something something to do something something to do something to learn where to pull back. But in kind of an endearing way. It is he hopefully will grow up to do grand gestures where they are welcome. This is a fine story where everyone's gonna, they'll remember this but no one's gonna be holding this over. Yeah. Hopefully. If he can move on. If he allows himself to move on from it, he can move on from it. Yeah, exactly. All right, next story. Today I fucked up by hooking up with the professor's daughter. I am a typical university student just trying to get through finals week. Tonight after a very stressful day of exams and studying for my ancient literature class, I decided to casually scroll tinder.

It had been a while and I just needed to de-stress. Little did I know, this would cause me more stress than I could have possibly imagined. I swiped right on a girl who was less than a mile away. She was 25, a little older than me, but she was super hot and she seemed into me, so I went with it. She invited me over to her apartment, and she said that she had to go in 20 minutes, so make it fast. Needless to say, open. She told me to stop, so I stopped and we listened. The footsteps came in our direction and I got pretty scared.

I expected it would be like when my parents caught me a few years ago with my ex, and it would be embarrassing all around. Not at all. The ancient literature professor, who I absolutely despised, and whose test I was frantically studying for, walked into the room and froze. He saw her, gasped, and then saw my face. His face turned red, and he screamed, Get the fuck out of my house! I'm pretty sure I lost some of my hearing

from how loud he yelled. Anyways, I put my shorts on and ran back to my quad. Now as I lay in bed, all I can think of is how my college professors saw me naked. Not just naked, but raw-dogging his daughter without any clothes at all. He already didn't like me and he is a very tough grader. So I already know that I am going to absolutely bomb this final and destroy my GPA. I see him tomorrow at 11 a.m. Wish me luck and I'll update with what happens. Do we have an update? There might be an update. But, um, so first impressions, I don't know, my first thought is also just like,

hey, you just met this person, use protection. Yeah, not raw dog. Like, come on man. Like, out of everything here, I'm like, come on man. But she was super hot. She's super hot. No, no, no, no. That's that's the one thing. Yeah. I don't think he, I I would say besides that, am I wrong for being like, I don't know where else, you didn't actively choose to anything wrong. I don't think he's anything wrong other

than raw dog. Yeah. Getting hot, raw dog. But I get it, he is, he is fucked. He is fucked. Also, he is fucked. After getting. If you heard the footsteps, wouldn't you immediately release a raw dog and put on your shorts? Unraw the dog? So, hold on, I think that's, I'd unraw the dog. I think, uh, uh, uh, I don't like that turn. No, I think that's kind of what happened. But about three minutes, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Uh, the th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. th. th. th. tho. tho. to. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. the. the. that turn. No, I think that's kind of what happened. But about three minutes after we began, we heard the front door open, she told me to stop, so I stopped and we listened. Now, that's where it's like, I wouldn't just stop and listen. I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be, I'd be like, like Superman. Like, do you thrown. that's like, like, that's under, thu. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, th. Wow, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, that, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. I I'd hide. Well, maybe it could be like a roommate or something, right?

Sure, that's also where my mind might go. Doesn't she live with her father? Well, he didn't know that. He didn't know that. She was just 25, so I would just be like, oh, someone just came home. I don't think he had any info. I don't think he had any info. how she's feeling, but she kind of, for her to stop, get your close on. It's not by my dad. Get your close.

Unraw your dog. Unraw your dog. They did unraw the dog. They didn't unraw. So some comments here. Better question is what is he doing walking in on his daughter, especially one that is 25. Oh, the professor fucked up. That's actually kind of true. That's actually so true. Personal space. I feel like this is grounds for either getting him recused

from grading your paper or getting a remark from someone else. Someone else said, invited to a college-age woman's apartment, but then the father casually opens the door and lets himself in. Yeah, BS. Yeah, okay. It is strange. I do need to, there's so much that happens that I'm not, I haven't processed that. It is absolutely strange, she's 25, she's 25, she's 25, she's allowed to do whatever she wants, they're both adults, he doesn't get to dictate that. Yeah. This is weird. It was weird. Yeah, like, I would have been pissed at my dad. Yeah, I would be like you get the fuck out dad. Yeah. Yeah, th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's would have been pissed at my dad. Yeah I've been like you get the fuck out dad. Yeah. Let's keep going. I was so putting myself in I was putting myself in the guy's shoes and thinking about how I would feel in that situation to not decipher how weird this situation is.

Yeah it seems like just unfortunate circumstances on that part. Are we thinking maybe it's not her father and that it's actually like she's dating him or like, like, like, because that would, the response of get the fuck out of my house makes more sense if it's like, oh, some guy sleeping with my, wait, he doesn't know if it's the daughter? Well, no, no, no, no, what I'm saying is like the way that the professor, that's not the professor's daughter. This is what I'm saying. What if that's not the professor's daughter, that's the professor's girlfriend?

That'd be hot. Or something. Because you walk in on someone and say, get the fuck out of my house, is the response you'd have if your partner thing. A weird. But also it's like, get out of your daughters or move out of your dad's house. Move out of your dad's house is definitely ideal. Sometimes, you know, when you're out of, when you're in college, you're out of college, sometimes it's like, you got to live with your parents, which is totally fine.

Well, is that why you're living with your your your your your parents is fine. Living with your parents is fine. Privacy. But this dad is weird. Yeah. I almost hope that he's not the father. Because if he's the father, I think he's a weird dad. Who's the father? All right. Let's see, let's read this update. OK. OK.

All right. Oh, good. that's. . and not a real story. They think this guy's lying about all of this. Yes. Well, he did add in raw dog. It's like, you wish. That's true. That's true. He's like, dude, I was took it up with a super hot. Rondon for hours.

Okay, okay. Okay. Update. that's, start out all the personal info because this blew up a lot more than I wanted it to, and I'd rather not turn this into a school-wide scandal. I shuffled into class, praying that my life wasn't about to be ruined by this professor. Thankfully, the TA came into the room and said, to the te.

the te. the of Saturday. Right after the TA said this, she started handing out the tests. When she came to me, she gave me this look and laughed before giving me the exam. I thought, great, now the administration probably knows. Anyways, I took the test and actually, I think I did pretty well. As soon as I got out of the room, I checked my email, it's a habit. And professor blank in the email is the email is the email is the email is the email is the email, the the the think, thine, the thine, thine, the thine, thine, the thine, the thine, thine, thine, thine, think, think, tho, thi, the the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. thi, thi, the, the, the, the. the. thea. thea. thea. ta.ea. ta.a.a.a.a.ea. ta.a. thea. thea. the. the names. O.P. please meet my wife, myself, and the Dean of the Academic Affairs in Room Blank in the Blank building tomorrow at 1 p.m. There we will discuss our situation and how to proceed. Thank you in advance for your understanding and cooperation. Best Professor Blank.

I don't know what to think. First of all, I didn't do anything wrong. I have no idea why his wife is getting involved, but there was verbal and written consent, and if I need to, I can use the Tinder DM history to prove it. Also, his daughter has an IUD, so there's no way that this is going to turn into a pregnancy. The main thing I'm worried about update again tomorrow after the meeting. Okay, his comments are, maybe he's doing the right thing and getting himself out of grading you. Wife there just to not be left out of whatever their family is going through. Someone else commented, maybe you actually fucked his wife.

I was just going to say that. Maybe that was also a joke of affairs. I was just going to say that. Maybe that was his wife. Maybe that was also a joke of affairs. But I think maybe the professor, I don't know. That's way too far. Like, if it's your daughter and she's 25, why would you get the dean involved? I still, I think it has to be his daughter, and he's just being like this very protective father, which naturally I guess he would be as a parent.

I think he's just pissed and he needs somebody to blame because it's like, how could I have walked in on my daughter just having sex with this guy and it happens to be one of my students. So he's like reacting, but yes, the student did not do anything wrong. He never obviously knew that this was his professor's kids. He just was going to, he was just hooking up with someone. But is it the wife? So he put an edit, after he read a bunch of comments, he was like, okay, after reading comments about it, possibly being his wife, his reaction in the meeting makes a lot of sense,

and she never said anything about her and his relationship. However, I still very much hope that's not what happened, and I just just thired thired thired thired thired thired thired thired thired thired thired thired, thuiiii, thui, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he he he he he throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo th. He what happened and I just terrified him at the thought of being his future son-in-law but there's another update. Thank God I was like... Update 2 I cuck-holded my professor. Raw. Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog. Okay. You-Ogg. Dog. Okay. You guys wanted an update, so here it is. Over the last couple hours, I have gone from being terrified of possibly getting sued to possibly becoming a school legend.

Unfortunately, a few of my friends found my Reddit post and because of the class name and my professor being absent. They know exactly what happened. Anyways, here's the update. Right after making the last post, I got an email saying that the meeting had been changed. Everyone involved was supposed to meet a little later in a noise-proof room because they didn't want anyone else to hear or get involved. Anyways, we met at around 2.30 and the professor and the dean of

academic affairs sat across from me. Like many of you predicted, his wife, the person who I now know was the daughter that I hooked up with, walked in. With a ring this time, luckily she and the professor didn't try to make any claims, like assault or malicious intent. Surprisingly, the meeting was pretty quiet and simple. Two other professors would evaluate the class exams instead of Professor Blank to ensure fairness. Under the student handbook, the professor, if they have an issue with a student, is required to submit all of my previous exams, class materials, to the administration for evaluation. Probably obvious, but the scheduling office will put me into another professor's class next

semester. I know that the meeting went as well as it could, but my situation is far from perfect because my friends found the posts and have told a large portion of our friend group, damn casual tinder hookups. Wow, so he slept with the professor's wife. First of all, the professor's wife was on tinder and fucking wanted to cheat. And didn't didn't wear the ring too. Still not really his fault. And what did she say? I have an IUD. How old was she? 25. Like, sorry, sorry, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, t, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, t, t, t, t, damn, t, damn, t, t, t, t, t, damn, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, t. t the ring, too. Still not really his fault. And what did she say? I have an IUD. How old was she? 25.

Oh, like, sorry, I kind of misread something. She never said that was her father. He interpreted that as her father. Oh. That was all his interpretation. So going back, yeah, she should have been like, get your fucking close up. They just sat and listen, and listen, and listen, and listen, and listen, and listen, and listen, and listen, then, and listen, and listen, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then fucking, like, get the fucking, yeah. They just sat and listened, just waited.

Listen. She knew then what she was doing, so she clearly could have avoided that situation. You know what, this also, I feel like... I'm so involved. Also, well, he lives in the quads. The quads are greater than that. If I walk in th th th th th th tha tha tha tha tha tha thua, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, thi, thi, tho, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th th th th th, th th, th, th, th th th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th with someone they go, we have 20 minutes to make this quick. You fucking know what might be happening. Why didn't she tell him to get his clothes on? I don't know.

Well him even being there still would be suspicious. He had to have like stayed hidden. Yeah, if he got his all his clothes on, she's just like, I don't know who this guy is. Your student is here to study with you. Hello, professor. I came by to a... Yeah, exactly. God, didn't he assume, like, he was probably in their home. Were there photos of them?

Whatever. He was there for one job and one job only. But I think it was very quick. It was probably late at night. Yeah, they're just quick to the bedroom. Quick. Doing it. I'm guessing it's a professor that the professor was much older. So it seems it seems fair that he thought oh this 25 year old woman is his daughter, not his wife. Well she's clearly not happy in that relationship. Or? Well I think she or she's like, I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. Maybe he can't raw dog her. That's kind of what I'm looking. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I the. I the. I thee. I theee. I thee. I the. I the. I the. I have no idea. Maybe he can't raw dog her. That's kind of what I'm wondering.

She's looking for it. She has an IUD. She's protected. She's in search for the raw. OK. Moving on from that wild one. Am I the assel for leaving my husband at home while I spend the week at my brothers because of how he buys groceries. Bies groceries.

OK. What does you do? All right. What? I've been in a committed relationship with my husband for 17 years, and overall things have been great. We've had a few rough patches. But what's important to note is that while he earns more than me and is considered

the main provider, I have a substantial trust fund that ensures we're financially stable. I work part-time as a teacher while attending university, earning less than him, and most of my income goes towards tuition. Our household income exceeds 200K annually, while the average in our area is below 50K. Damn. One ongoing issue we have is my husband's frugality. He likes to control my spending and have the final say on how he uses his earnings. It's worth mentioning that I've never used any of his income and have no intention to do so. Oh. Yeah. However, the main point of contention between us is his frequent visits to food banks.

Despite having more than enough food at home, he insists on going to food banks to save money. He intentionally looks disheveled and uses our beat up car to blend in, even though he's never experienced food scarcity. I've explained to him the need for food donations in our community, even showing him social media posts from local food banks. But he remains indifferent. I suggested he volunteer or donate to gain first-hand experience, but he refuses.

The unfortunate part is that since we're never short on food, most of what he brings home ends up getting thrown away. Today I discovered our fridge filled with fresh produce and meat that clearly didn't come from our regular grocery store. When I confronted him, he admitted to going to a food bank after seeing a Facebook post about a donation of fresh food. People on social media were already asking if any was left. I showed him these comments, but he brushed them off, claiming people should have gone earlier. Exhausted by the situation, I packed a bag and went to stay with my brother for the weekend, asking for space to think things over.

My husband accuses me of overreacting, being vindictive, and threatens to go back to the food banks regardless of my feelings. His family is also messaging me, calling me an asshole for urging me to to stop interfering with his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his choices. I choices. I choices. I choices. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the, the, th. the, the the the, the, the, th. th. th. th. their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, and thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean phone, but now they're bombarding my brother with messages. Thankfully, he supports my decision and ignores them. All I want is to enjoy the rest of my week without being angry at my husband. Yes, I could let this go and not scold him, but the food he takes could have gone to people who truly need it. I'm not leaving my husband, but I need a few days away to gain to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the to to the to the to the to the clarity. Am I wrong for wanting this space? Wow. No, that's the weirdest thing I've heard in my life.

That's a weird asshole. At first, I was like, oh, he's just trying to save money. She needs to relax. Like, she doesn't need everything at the grocery store. And then it was like, oh, no, he goes to Costco and just does samples to like eat food it's like all right yeah you can do that or like extreme couponing or I don't know there's a million ways to buy groceries in weird ways. Yeah but that's not a weird way that's a that's a fucking asshole that's a

a messed up way. The fact that he also like dishevels himself and uses the be beat up the beat up the beat up the beat up the beat up the beat up the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. S. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's that's a that's a that's a that's. S. It's a that's a that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. S. S. I's a th. S. I's a th. thi. th. the. the. the. the. thi. th beat-up car he knows what he's doing. Yeah, he knows what he's doing. So fucked up. He can't play the card of like oh I thought I thought that was for everyone which is bullshit but like she has a trust fund so technically she has more money than him. Their household income exceeds $200,000 in an area that is an average of below 50K. So this isn't like they live in New York City. They are living somewhere where they have extreme excess funds and like they are, this is so stupid. It's so twisted.

Like they could live much more like luxuriously even, but instead they're going the exact opposite. But he's, he sounds they're going the exact opposite. He's very frugal. But he sounds too controlling and I don't know. I know she's not going to leave her husband, but that's kind of big. I think also we've got to point out the fact that he gets so much that still they end up throwing some away. Oh, that's what, that's awful. That's terrible the same. And his the the the same. And his the thi, and thi, and thi, and his remark, and his remark, and thi, and his remark, and his remark, and thi, and his remark, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi. So, thi. And his remark of like, well, they shouldn't get there earlier.

It's like people who are impoverished generally are working till late. Exactly. Don't have the opportunity to get there. Maybe they can't have a car. Yeah, they're taking the bus. They're getting there. Oh, yeah. .

thi just pulled up. No, that's really... Dump his ass. I am, I know there's no way for food banks to check, like, but it's just, it's so frustrating. Because, oh man. He's like attacking, he's attacking this system that doesn't do background checks because obviously on a normal person, why would they do that? They're not also expecting this shit. Right. They'd be like, that guy, he makes 200K a year. It's like, what? Yeah. Get out of here. He's trying to like out smart a system that is just simply not made for him.

Something also to be pointed out is that, you know, most food banks, fresh food is rare at food banks. You know, it's a lot more like canned goods, things that can last a lot longer. So he took an opportunity to take something that probably a lot of people really desperately did. Yeah, that's, that's heartbreaking. It's mind-billing. This guy needs therapy so bad to figure out what is going on in his brain. What's the insecurity of money? Like, do you think it's going to run out?

But I think it's also a this a a a this a this a micro this a micro this a micro this is is is is also a micro this is also a micro this is also a micro this is also a micro this is a micro this is a micro this is a micro this is a micro this is a micro, this micro, wealth hoarding where it's like people have so much more money than they even use or it would ever need but they have this feeling of like I need more and more and I need to save this it's like why? Like what? The wife is like we're good. He needs to go to therap He was probably raised like that too. Like, you need to save everything. Exactly. The family was like, we have money, but we don't want to tap into it,

so this is how you have to live. So first comment, how did he grow up? We both grew up wealthy, but to him he doesn owners, and mine did not have traditional jobs as my mom was a stay-at-home mom, and my dad focused mostly on doing charitable work. In my husband's mind, I grew up privileged, and he had to work for everything he has, which is just objectively not true. Yeah, it sounds like they're both so wealthy when you grow up in a certain situation, it's

easy to think, like, oh oh I know I had to work hard it's like because you haven't met people who really had to work really had to work really I don't understand that. I didn't have something to fall back on. Yeah because I grew up in a in a upper middle class area and like I just didn't have a concept of of it of other classes like, income levels and stuff, until you get out there and you see it and you meet people and you're like, oh, oh, okay, oh, I understand now. And it's, it takes that, and I guess he just hasn't done that at all in his life. I don't know how to, I can't defend this guy. I'm trying, I always try to like, I, I, I to like, I to like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I to, I to, I to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, thi. th th th th to, th th th tooooo.e. too. too. too. too. too. too. to, to, to, to, torying to, I always try to like, okay, maybe I understand where he's coming from. But he is in fact going to the areas,

and he's also, it's like I said, it goes back to, he dishevels himself and uses the beat-up car. Yeah. He's, this guy's a monster. The theme there is privilegeable because that's some psycho. That's psycho there, psycho behavior. Yeah. Someone else says, not the asshole.

This is completely unhinged. A man making 200K while married to a woman with a trust fund going to a food bank is unacceptable. I couldn't live like that. And I also couldn't live with someone controlling how the money was spent. You're absolutely not wrong to want space. I would want permanent space. Yeah. And I also, based on her description, I think she's like mega wealthy. Like it's like, oh my dad just mainly does charitable work. It's like, you guys are.

My dad's name is Bruce Wayne. Yeah. It's like, no, I think, I think if he's married to her, I'd be like, we're good. We're good. I don't need to work. But it's not even that he's being like frugal. He's being extremely controlling and he's not like at all having a conversation about this. If she's leaving because you're going to food banks, dude. That's no, it's totally fair. If she says that to anyone, they'd be like, to be like why the fuck have you spent close to two decades with someone who tries to control your spending and literally steals from people who can't afford groceries.

I don't care that anyone can go to the food bank. If you're bringing home 200K a year and get your groceries from a food bank, you're stealing food from people who need the charity. Not the assu and please, oh my god, divorce him yesterday. I love it, girl, d-I girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, the, the the th, the th, th, the th, the, the, the, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I th. I thi. I thi. thi. that, that, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I than, than, him yesterday. It's also important to point out, like, you know, she sounds like she's set for the rest of her life, she just needs to get it the fuck out of there. Yeah, man. And she's doing a lot, it sounds like she's, she's an awesome person, like, you know, part-time teacher and stuff.

I feel like she could move on to meet someone way to the today's. Girl, dump him yesterday. Last comment, as someone who has had to rely on food banks in the past, not the asshole, holy shit, OP, leave your husband, maybe report him to the local food banks as someone who abuses them when his income clearly proves he doesn't need it. Yeah, if that's something, do it. Report and then divorce. Do it. Do it. Do that. Tell everyone what he does everyone. Tell everyone, tell his friends. Tell everyone, tho people people people people people people people people people people people the the the tho he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. to. to. Tell his friends. Tell, tell every person you possibly can that shit. He's going to just change the system of how things are processed at the food bank too, which is just going to make everything more difficult for the people who just need to walk in

and get what they need. I feel like the stereotype is often, the stereotype that you hear on like news channels and stuff is like, oh low income people are are the ones abusing the system. And it's like, and here's a fucking wealthy-ass dude abusing the system. Trying to pretend like he's low income. Yeah, it's some absolute bullshit. Yeah. That's, um, that's one of the worst guys. Yeah.

Because that's just an insane. It's just insane. There's just there's the th's just just th's just th's just their th's just th's zero justification for it. And he's being a dick about it. And he's getting his whole family to be dicks about it. There's also always the element of even if what someone is doing in the story isn't an asshole move, how they treat their partner is still a factor. And maybe they're doing some justified but how they treat their partner like she's... Garbage. And her own family thea tree. thrown. no, no, no, get away from that family. Yeah. All right, moving on from that guy. Today I fucked up by donating $15,041 to a poor community in Bangladesh instead of the $150 donation I intended. Okay. Uh, this happened in February of last year, but my friends have been telling me I need to post this online. So here goes nothing.

My wife and I, both 31 years old at the time, moved into a new three unit apartment building in San Francisco. One of our neighbors is a 70-something-year-old retired veteran. We'll call him Joe. For context, Joe is a white American guy, and he too in the hallway. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, t t t t t t t tho, the, the, t tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, too, and, and, and too, and too, tho, thi, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, th, th, and, th, th, and, tho, and, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, thiii, and, thi, and, and, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the tho, the the tho, the tho, tho, th th tho, th too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, tho.e Joe in the hallway and he tells me about this charity he manages for a community in Bangladesh. I wanted to support my neighbor and the charity so I asked Joe to send me the Go Fund Me link.

The next day at work, I go on the Go Fund Me page and donate $150, or so I thought. Moments later, I get a text on my phone warning me of an unusually large transaction on my credit card. I'm confused and swip to open the text message. It says I have made a payment of $15,041 to go fund me. Immediately I'm sweating. How could I have donated $15,000? I spend the next 10 to 15 minutes retracing my steps, and finally I realized my credit card information.

the cursor was still in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to open the the the the to open the to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open. the the to open to open. I to open. I toope? toope? toopse. I'm to to toopse. I'm toopse. I'm tooped. toop. toop. the next. the text. the text. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. I. It. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I numbers four and one. It seems I had accidentally started typing my credit card information while my cursor was still in the donation box. And just like 150 became 150-41. Yikes. I call GoFund me's support line in a panic. When I finally connect with a human, I explained what happened. No need to worry, he tells me, they will initiate a refund of the transaction which should process in three to seven business days. That's a huge relief.

But then I asked the agent if the charity will be able to see the charity will be able to see the go-fund me page until it is refunded. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do I mean? $15,041 donation? Unfortunately, yes, the agent tells me. They will be able to see it until the refund process is complete. I tell him that's a big problem, as the entire Go Fund Me had hardly raised that much at that point. Surely they will notice their fundraiser doubling overnight. My plan was to knock on Joe's door the following morning to give him the full story so that he could pass it along to his contacts in Bangladesh. But when I woke up the next morning, I looked at my phone and saw I had 40 plus notifications on Facebook.

Someone had sent me a friend request, had liked many of my old posts, and had sent me many messages. Immediately I was concerned when I saw that the individual messaging me had a Hindu name, but I never could have imagined what I saw when I opened his first message. The man had sent me a video of himself from Bangladesh, surrounded by dozens of impoverished thanking me, by name, Michael, for my generous donation. A big round of applause for Michael. At this point, I've leapt out of my bed and I'm pacing. Part of me wants to scream, part of me wants to crack up laughing.

I start swiping through the man's messages, and it is picture after picture after picture of boar Bangladeshis thanking me for my kind donation. Literally hundreds of photos of frail, elderly, disabled, and malnourished individuals holding signs with my name. Thank you, Michael. Thank you, Michael. I've uploaded a portion of the video and a few photos for you guys to see here. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, oh, oh my God. Oh, oh my God.

Oh, oh my God. Oh, God. Oh my God. I'm sorry, I'm laughing because this is an insane situation to be stuck in. Oh. Okay, so, um... Oh my God. So he sees the direct impact that this makes. Needless to say, I couldn't live with myself just donating $150 after seeing how the community responded to $15,041.

I decided the least I could do was to add a zero, and so I donated $1,500 once the original donation was refunded. The charity's host was incredibly gracious and understanding, and he explained to me that $1,500 goes very far in Bangladesh for urgent food relief. Here is the charity's new Go Fund Me link, if you want to check it out. Ultimately, I think the whole experience was a win-win.

I helped a great cause, and I got a funny story out of it. Okay. So to recap, to recap, he to to to recap, to to to recap, the to the to recap, the the the th, the th, th, the th, the th, th, th, the th, the th, thu, thu, thu, thi, tho, I tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, too, too, too, too, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, t, t, t, t, t, tho, t, tho, tho, tho, he got it refunded, but then he donated $1,500. Okay. But, um, I, I don't know. I feel like I would have to find a way to get the $15,000 and just eat it. Just fucking eat it. Because I mean, I don't know, I don't, I don't, the problem is I don't know this guy's financial situation. No, exactly. I mean, he's got 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that could that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I thoooo. I tho. I tho., the problem is I don't know this guy's financial situation. No, right, exactly. I mean, you've got 15,000 to deposit.

He's got 15,000. No, that could have been like, I mean, I get it, but like. It could have been everything. If that was everything, it's like, yeah, I don't know. I think I would ask friends,500 is still very generous. Man, this got me good. I hope you didn't get behind on bills or anything after this mix-up. I will say, the fact that his original intention was $150. Which is still a great donation. So he still times that by 10 and like, you know, it's still a big deal. Someone said, holy shit, man. told you said, that's, the the the th. th. th. thii. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's still still, thi. I'm, th. I's still still, th. I's still, thi, thi, thi, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's still, I's th. I's th. I's th. I's is is. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm thin. I'm th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm toda. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi in my stomach just reading. I can't imagine how you felt. L-O-L. shit happens.

Glad your neighbor was understanding and good for you for going the extra mile. Watch this post blow up and a shit ton of Redditors donate. That would be awesome. Someone else said, oh man, what a ride. I'd feel horrible. I hope Reddit. to throw in a few bucks. and maybe others will too. There's a Go Fund Me link. We can see, um, My God.

So he posted it to Reddit. And this went viral. So, okay. So, their goal, they're at 93K, raised of a 108K goal. So. Oh my god! That's awesome! Wait, that's amazing! Not gonna cry! Not gonna cry!

Seriously! What a wonderful, wonderful thing that this like hilarious story has brought. It actually ended up being better that this all happened and he posted it. What? What? Stop! Stop! Stop!

Stop! We're talking about asshows! I'd look away, like, the photo and everything, I'm like... So sweet. Yeah, the photos. And you know that they were not going to be upset if he was just like, crazy story, I had to refund it. They were obviously going to be like, of course. Oh man, it's all good.

They all have to have to have it back without, while still being cool. So there's an update as of, literally a couple weeks ago, thanks for your kindness. Our ability to bring relief to others has multiplied many, many times. It is unbelievable. We've been struggling over the past several months, yet in the last 24 hours, over 1,800 donations have been received at Go Fund Me, the largest single day in our history. We're astounded at the support we have seen, and this totally helps our effort. Kindly take a moment and share our campaign with friends, co-workers, and gentle souls. This will help us extend our reach to more people more often.

As of right now, if reading this, it's not far off from their goal, but we'll post the link down below and check it out. Keep it going. That was super meaningful of that guy to think of putting the link in there as well. I know it really, it really turned out well. And you know on Reddit, you don't know if something's going to go viral or not. So basically it's almost like he did eat the money almost but didn't have to. Yeah. Yeah. It all, it all, see what he should have thought of. Should have said all this. Posted, posted, this all goes viral, tons of donations, and then he retracts it silently. Yeah, he's like, I got my 1,500 bags.

This is one of the coolest stories we've ever wrote. Oh my God, we're gonna post the link. We'll post the link, you can be part of it too. Please, you know. Cool story. So hard warning. Wow. That was the sweetest story we've ever read here. Genuinely made me tear up. So great.

All right, but let's move on to some insanity. So this subreddit that we're about to read is wedding shaming. Amanda, you know a little bit about weddings, right? Yeah, baby. Yeah, you want to get married, right? I got married. What? What? Rasha, you know this.

Oh, right. She's playing you guys. Oh, right. Right. Yes, I got married. Yeah, so to Kimmy. To each other. And, Kimmy and I are married to each other. Finally, what the fans want. And I know this. And your weddings went

off great. There was no major issues, no cringe moments, nothing mrs. My mom made a slideshow of me and baby pictures. That sounds great. But that's normal, that's normal. Cindy, let me Cindy, there's those photos. Weddings I feel like always have something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not like. Nothing. Nothing like cringing. Okay. So let's let's let's let's let's see how this feels. W all right. Made of honor keeps making jokes about a threesome with the couple publicly all wedding. Oh no no no no no no no no. Last night was a rehearsal dinner and they had some toasts and the maid of honor got really wasted and in her speech made two references like

you never know what the future could bring maybe we'll have a threesome laughs. It was almost funny the first time and she was wasted, so whatever. Second time she referenced a threesome in the same speech, you could see the mood in the room changed to cringe, and the bride and groom got really uncomfortable. Today is the wedding and she's already hinted at it again. This time saying something about a thruple while people are trying to get ready. Like this is so fucking weird, right? It really reads as, ha, funny joke, unless.

Like for some reasons she thinks this is her last shot. I sort of got the vibe she wanted the bride more than the groom and probably is half in love with her or something. But Christ, keep it to yourself on their wedding day. Nobody needs to hear how you want to fuck the couple, and it's just sad and extra cringe if she is just lusting after the bride, and she shouldn't have agreed to be the maid of honor. I don't know her at all,

but I hope one of the other friends says something. The ceremony hasn't even started yet, and we have a long day ahead of us. That is so funny. Everybody wants to fuck the bride and groom on their wedding day. Before the ceremony? I think it's before the ceremony. She's in the bathroom in her dress. So we got to write this. This is, this is like as it's happening, like some comments. Someone would be doing her a huge favor if they would just take her aside and tell her that her jokes are falling flat and everyone the cring. Someone's. Someone. Someone. Someone. Someone. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes is is is is is is is the jokes is the jokes are the jokes are the jokes are the jokes is the jokes is the jokes is the jokes. She is the jokes. She is the jokes. She is the jokes. She is the jokes. She is the jokes. She is the jokes. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes. She's jokes are the jokes are the jokes are their jokes are their jokes are their jokes are their jokes are they. She's is in. She's is in they. She's is in the the jokes are thethis woman? There are how many people involved in the wedding? I'm talking about the bride, groom, brideal party, groomsman, and everyone else. There has to be at least one person with the smarts to talk to this woman and let her know that her jokes aren't funny and are actually making the bride uncomfortable. Even if you don't know this person that well, she needs, she to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be tho, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thrown, thrown, thrown, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thru, thru. throoooooooooooooooooooooom.e, truu.e, trueu. thru. giving a speech at this point. The poor bride. The O.P. responds, I will say something to her or

get the bride's sister to. I really am kind of an onlooker in this wedding and was only at the rehearsal dinner because I'm married to someone in the wedding, but don't know almost anyone. Today I'm playing gofer and running errands for them. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Today. Today. Today. Today. Today. the the th. th. I. I. I'm th. I th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to thi. I'm to to the the the thi. I'll to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I will will will will will. I will will. I'll th thi. I'll th th thr-o thr-upe.o ope.o ope.p.p.p. opi. opi. opi. th opi. the the the It's deaf fucked up and when the reception and after party festivities begin, I'm sure with everyone drinking again, it'll get worse. Someone said, one sexual joke, that was awkward, but they were just trying to be funny. Two sexual jokes, oh, this is what they think about when they're alone at night. OP responded, kind of cringe sexual joke from a drunk person. Weddings be like that sometimes. But two to three times the same joke, they are thirsting. Discomfort. So there is an update. They fucked. She's in love with the bride. I talked to the bride sister first. I am a chicken and was afraid to go right to the maid of honor and had to psych myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself to the to the to the the to the to the the to the the to the to the the the the to to the to to the to the to the to to the to the to to to to the to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. Yeah. toe. Yeah. Yeah. toe. toe. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the the the the the the toe.o.o.o.o.o.e.e.e. And.e. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. to the maid of honor and had to psych myself up for even this. Basically, the mate of honor was roommates with the bride.

Y'all called it, and isn't happy she's being kicked out of the house. The bride owns, by the way. Now that they are getting married, the groom will live with them too, for about a year and a half, and all three were good friends before they and are trying to ignore it because it's been hard on her. Sister doesn't think it's an unrequited love. She thinks it's bitterness from losing her bestie to her other bestie. But I don't know, that sounds like infatuation to me at least. Bride's sister said she would confront maid of honor because yeah, it's fucked.

She didn't think anyone else was picking up on it, but that's embarrassing. AF. Ceremony hasn't happened yet, we shall see. No more updates. So, um... I just love that she's still in the bathroom just fucking writing this Reddit story. She's like, what do you all think and hurry because reception started. Ooh, that is so awkward. That's really rough. I... That is a hard thing. When a third person gets involved and you are living with someone and you start dating that person and you all were friends it is really painful for the other person but also but also process it elsewhere and don't start announcing sexual jokes at their wedding and she probably made of her a maid of honor because she felt you know like okay I'll make you a

maid of honor but honestly that bride needs to set a boundary yeah like girl I own this home yeah yeah yeah th yeah I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus the the the thi thi thi the the the the th th th th the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee th needs to set a boundary. Like, girl, I own this home. Yeah, yeah. It's just weird. And like even if you have a good rapport with someone at a wedding, as a speech, it's like, all right, if nobody else gets the context, it's weird. Like it's weird. I shouldn't say an in joke. Even if they had a bunch of inside jokes of like, ah, three sums, don't say it at your speech. Like their parents could be at the way.

It's just making everybody uncomfortable. Be considerate. She's also into someone. She's into one of them. Yeah. Because that's like, that's not of like jabs in the speech, like underhand remarks. But it's giving more like, oh, but we're all in love with each other, aren't we?

But it also sounds like she's a bit of a mess. Yeah. Big mess. Big mess. I know people get drunk at weddings, but it sounds like she's getting really drunk. Yeah. God. God. More like mess. No update. No update. Look. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha That everything went fine. This sister will always take care of it. Yeah. Yeah.

See, that's why I made my sister my maid of honor. Because she was just on it. She was like, I'm your bitch for the day, whatever you need. I was like, great. I need a lot. And she's just to meet a punch someone. She punched like, she was like, ppph, ph-poh. That's great. I walked through the street and forgot I was wearing my wedding dress and people were like, I was like, what is going on?

You know, I was like, oh yeah. It's me from Smosh. Okay? Don't worry about it. Like, what? What? What? All right, here's our next story. Yay. It's a good title. Today I fucked up by thinking my laser hair removal nurse was complimenting my asshole. Nurse? Okay. Nurse.

There are nurses now? Okay. Obligatory. This happened a couple of days ago, but I've only just psychologically recovered from my utter embarrassment. So after lockdown ended in my country, there's been a huge sale at my local laser hair removal clinic, and so I thought, fuck it,

I might as well go for it. So I paid for my 10 visits and set off for the first one. A little nervous but excited for my new, harless body. Now I decided it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho-a tho-a' tho-a' tho-a' that, thi, tho-a' tho-a' to to tho-a' tho-a' tho-a' tho-a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, to to to toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, too-s, toe, toe, th. th. th. tho-s, tho-s, too-s, too'er. too'e. too'e. too'e. too'e. too'er. too'er. too'er. too'a'a'a'a'a'a'a would be a great idea to get a full Brazilian all the way from front to back. Pretty normal right? The lovely nurse comes in and gives me a brief heads up explains how it all sort of works. So she leaves a room leaving me to strip down. She comes back in and decides that we are going to laser away the hair around my asshole first. All well and good, right? So the instructions I'm given are lay on your right side and use your left hand to pull up your bum cheek. So here I am lying on my side, hand

pulling up my bum while this lady sticks a laser round my asshole. Now on my left hand I wear this gorgeous silver ring with a bright blue gem. It was handmaid by my best friend's boyfriend so it's pretty unique. So this lady saw my gorgeous ring and decided to break the awkward silence with, that's a cute ring you have there. And of course I happen to forget I was wearing the damn ring. It just made sense in my head that this nurse was complimenting the ring of my asshole. Yeah, I know. So still on my side I tell her, thank you. It'll be a lot nicer when it's hairless, LOL. No, oh my gosh!

Q, awkward laugh, and then silence. Until I realized that she was not, in fact, talking about my bum. Finish the rest of the appointment without speaking and dashed out of there as soon as possible, still recovering. She said, he he, thank you. Thanks. Yeah, I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I, I. the the the the the then, I. then, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi, I thi, I was thi, I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th is is. th is. th is. th is. th is. thi? Oh, I is. thi? Oh, I is. thi? Oh, I was thi? Oh, I was thi? Oh, thi. thi. thi. that that thi. that thi. that thiole? Oh, thiole? Oh, thi? Oh, still recovering. She said, he, thank you. Thanks, yeah, I have a good asshole. What is the nurse? Go, oh, I was.

Oh, I was talking about your ring. That's hilarious. No, instead she just went, And why is she a nurse? And why is she a nurse? Let her have to have to be a medical. You gotta be certified. You have to be like certified medical practitioner.

Oh. Oh. Well, she was specific. She was like, that's a cute ring. I would never think what was cute. I would never think what was cute. I would think. Yeah, I wouldn't what I would think. You're in a compromising position, you know? You are literally caught with your asshole out.

I just don't know why people love to sit in that awkward silence. Why didn't any one of them say, you know, I thought you were talking about my asshole, but you're talking about my ring and now we just have to sit here. Well, it's hard. In moments, whatever. I think what you have to also realize, and I've talked to people who are doctors and stuff, about like how normal it becomes, like mundane it becomes.

Like, this woman looks at assholes all day. This is nothing to her. She does not care. It's really not actually that awkward. That's probably the most awkward thing that's happened to her. People have probably farted in her face a lot. What? Tell me that hasn't happened. It's definitely happened. They have to pull their bum cheek up

and you're expecting nothing to, like, more embarrassing things have happened. I don't, I think this is hilarious. Someone said only nine more awkward visits to go. Someone said, only nine more. Oh yeah! That's right. That asshole ain't getting hairless right away. You gotta walk in and immediately just go, I thought you were talking about my butt hole. But you were talking about this ring.

This ring. This ring. My brother's a girlfriend, boyfriend made it. It's very intricate. You'll be singing a new specialist from here on now. No way. Someone else said you and I are two to me, I'd be coming on here to brag about the greatest joke I ever came up with. Someone else said, this made me laugh.

Can just imagine the waves of embarrassment? In my last laser hair removal session, both me and the lady had masks and those dark glasses, so any form of facial expression was completely hidden. At one point she said, turn around please, which sounds a lot like laugh please in my language. So I proceeded to laugh awkwardly, thinking she wanted to test some sort of movement in my body while I laughed. See, not the most embarrassing thing.

I will be honest, I think I can relate to this, because if I was in this position, I wouldn't want to talk at all. I wouldn't want to talk. Like, I am so uncomfortable. Even like massages, like I'm just like, I'm dead silent. Like I don't want to, and when they say something, I'm just like, yeah, yeah, for sure. Like, I'm so uncomfortable. Is this okay? Yeah, it's okay. Is this okay? Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. I don't like talking and massages either just because of the like the relaxation. Right. But I think if I were doing, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I in any sort of compromising place on my body, I would be like, just let's just pretend we're robots. Sex video.

Sometimes it's them, like who are the ones wanting to talk. So I can see why she... Because they're used to it all day. Right. They don't care. So I can see why she was like,, getting married and you're like, yeah. Nice ring. My asshole.

Oh God. Yeah. Moving on. Wow. Nothing else to say. Good cue. Here we go. Today I fucked up by complimenting a girl's skirt.

Happened a couple weeks ago. I was at a party and saw a girl across the room. She was wearing a skirt, holding a drink in one hand, and had the other hand in her pocket. I saw her skirt, thought to myself how cool that skirt is having pockets. A lot of women I know complain about not having pockets. So this is a very progressive thing. A bit later, I got around to talking to her. I complimented her skirt and how pockets in a skirt is great. She looked very confused, said, my skirt doesn't have pockets.

Why would you think that? I mentioned that I had seen her earlier with her hand in her pocket. Her face went bright red and revealed that hand was amputated. What I thought was her hand in her pocket was aft. What I, but luckily she thought it was funny because she'd never heard that comment before. I'm still dying inside though. Oh. That did not go where I thought it was going to go. How cool of her to be like, no, and then laugh.

Yeah. What did you say? Oh my God, she just... She sounds awesome. It was just chilling. She sounds awesome. I could understand if you're across the room and if it's, even if it's like a party that's like maybe darkly lit or something,

you would know, it's a... Well, I mean, I get it. I'm just so confused how much thought he put into the skirt having a pocket and being like I wanted to talk to her yeah it's very progressive that you have skirts and not a lot of people have pockets in skirts and so nice skirt and she's like what mother fucker no and I mean but and she laughed and it was funn't I think this guy was like I think he's flirting I think he's flirting and I think

that's a fine way to flirt to be like oh my god your skirt as pockets that's friggin awesome yeah yeah that is a good way to start it that's not like it's sweet uncomfortable nice legs and then and see it's great even even the worst case scenario here is that it's not pockets she doesn't have a hand and he thought that she you know did but it still that the the the the the th th th th I th I th th th th th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th he th th the the the the he he he he he he thi the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th he he he he th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th she, you know, did, but it still worked out great. Right, she's not offended. He has the end here if he's, if he's interested. She was cool. She sounds dope.

They have a very cute, meat cute. Yes, someone, first comment was, but did you get those digits? Uh, s, get it? Oh, oh. No, no hand fun. No, the the the the the first. The the first. No? No hand pun. Oh God. Someone else said, ouch. But still, this is kind of wholesome.

This is kind of a wholesome today I fucked up. At least you gave her a laugh. Someone else said, moral of the story. Don't ever assume women's clothing has evolved. That's true. That's a, I think that's a wholesome story. I mean, that is, that is like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. true. It's, I think that's a wholesome story. I think it's a, I mean, that is like, I feel like that's a meat cute romcom. Yeah, you know what I mean?

That feels scripted. Yeah, it does. It does. If I read that, I'd be like, this is, oh, that's a clever scene set up. I'm not mad. that's like, why would she be offended by that? He truly thought like something. You know, it's, I do think it's inappropriate to come up and immediately ask someone about like a situation that they have like that. You know, like, yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. to be like, oh, like sweet. Oh, oh my god, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't know. Right, exactly. to be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, that, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, it's, it's, I'd never have heard that before. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

And it's kind of endearing that he was just like genuinely they're like, oh hey, like cool. It's very sweet. Yeah, love that story. I hope they end up married. All right. So this is our last story. And this one is a Reddit legend. This is an older story, it's been around for years, but we want to occasionally sprinkle in those super,

super legendary ones. So a lot of people watching have probably heard this story before. I don't know if you guys have heard it before or not. So here we go. Today I fucked up by enraging the parents of my girlfriend, by pretending not to know what a potato is. Let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening. My girlfriend, who let me tell you is only my second girlfriend of all time, said

I am invited to dinner with her and her parents. I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation, but I knew it must be done. I met them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. The idea slapped in my mind that I should do a comic bit to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing. When I saw that baked potatoes were served, I got the idea that it would be very good if I pretended I did not know what potatoes were. That'd be funny. Well, let me tell you. Backfired on my face. to the potato, back. to me, I, I, I, I, I, the the the the the the the the the the the, I, I, the the the the the, the, I, the the the thr-s, the they. thr-s, thr-s, their, the, their, the the, the, the, the, the the the the tho, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, the, I, I, I. And, I, I. And, I, I was, Ie, I'm, I'm, I'm, the.e.e.e.e.e.e.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.e. And, t t the.e. I'll tell you how. So first when the potato came to my plate, I acted very interested. I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded,

but in a restrained way, curious and interested. They did notice and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked, this looks very interesting. What is this? They stared at me, and the mother said, and that, and th, and th, and th, and the mother said, it's a baked potato. And I was saying, oh, interesting, baked, what is it again? And she was like, a potato. And I was like, a potato? Oh, interesting.

Never heard of a potato. Looks pretty good. And then they didn't see I was clowning, but thought I really did not know what a potato is. So I knew I'd be very shamed, humiliated, depressed and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke. So what I did was to act as if it was not a joke, but I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is. They asked me very incredulous.

Did I really not know what a potato is, that I never heard of a potato. I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato. Not only had I never eaten a potato, I had never heard the word potato. This went on for a bit, and my girlfriend was acting very confused and embarrassed by my fucked up antics. And then the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is, was when their parents started thinking, I did know what a potato was. Well, let me tell you, I had to commit 100% at this point.

When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point, he said, enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it. And I said, sir, before today, I had never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you. Well, let me tell you, he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato. And when I did, I made a high-pitched noise and said, tastes very strange. That is when the father started yelling at me. And the

mother kept saying, what are you doing? And my girlfriend went to some other room. Finally, the father said I should get the fuck out of his house. And I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I'd never heard of a potato before. Well, let me tell you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th th th th th th th the you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theateateateate the the theateateateateateateateate. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the. I the. I teateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate. I teate. I te. I'd never heard of a potato before. Well, let me tell you, he didn't take that kindly. Now in text messages, I've been telling my girlfriend, I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is. I wish I'd never started it is a I think you should leave sketch. Yes, yeah. I'm telling you,

I don't know what a potato is. It actually is? It's one of the tastes very strange. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. The response is also like, get the fuck out of my house. And then the girlfriend just goes to another room she's like crying but I actually totally understand why he had to commit because oh yeah it was too he couldn't at the end of the day be like yeah I was just fucking with it they would have been like great go home yeah he had to commit so hard and be like wow you're gonna throw me out because I don't know what a potato potato is like I love this person they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they would would would would they would would would would they would would would they would would they would would they would they would they would they would they would have they would have they would have they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they they would they they would the the their their their their their their tho. their w. their w. they would have like like like like like like like like like like like like. they would they would they would have like, wow, you're going to throw me out because I don't know what a potato is. Like, I love this person.

I love them too. Such a funny bit. Like my parents would have loved that bit if they were like, you don't know what a potato if they were like, you don't know what a potato is. Oh, well, this be like, I don't know what a... Also, inspired. Why didn't the parents just go... Okay. And just like let it be.

And then he would have been like, you're right, I'm joking, thanks for the laugh, move on. These parents suck. It's the parents' fault. What's the update? There's no update. their with her parents. When she says, yes, he looks alarmed, mutters something about wanting to keep them from him and never mentions the subject again.

Wait, that's brilliant. It's so funny. When confronted about this horrible joke, insist it never happened with the same level of commitment. Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder. Someone else said, send them a bouquet of potatoes as an apology. Now, this story's been widely considered fake. Even if it's fake, it's an incredible sketch. I love this.

It doesn't feel fake to me, though. Even if it's fake, I don't mind if things are fake if it's very silly and stupid. Yes. Where I care if it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the they's is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is fake is fake is fake is fake is fake is fake is fake is fake is fake is fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake it's fake. they's fake. they's a their their their their their their their they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's fake. they's fake. they's fake. they's fake. they's fake. they's fake. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're saying. their their their their their their their their the same. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. their their their their they're they're saying. OK. to me though. It's, even if it's fake, I don't mind if things are fake if it's very silly and stupid. Where I care if it's fake is if they're saying something like very serious and intense. Yeah. Hey, don't, don't make fake stories about that. Or harmful. And I love that he's committing, too, till the end. I want to know where he is. You should know. The popular lifted from the pilot of Andy Sandberg's show Cuckoo. Oh, so this is a Andy Sandberg sketch. Well I love it.

Wait, did this guy get in trouble? Yeah, watch the full episode for more context. The story is pretty much identical except in the show he isn't pretending and goes on to sell baked potatoes from a streetcar. It's such a sketch. It was too much of a sketch that it made sense. Wow. Now this Reditor is just a sess.

So now this redder is an asshol for stealing a sketch. Well, it sounds like he committed again. Yet again, he has told us a lie. So he is the asshole. So he is the asshole. Even though this is an Emma I'd the asshole. Kimmy just brought up an interesting argument. What if since this Andy Sandberg sketch came out a year before this post, what if he watched that sketch? Oh yeah and then in this moment was like, he started to try to make that joke and then just kind of committed to it and... So maybe this is real because it was a sketch. a a a sketch. a sketch. A th. A. A. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. this is is is is th. th. this is is th. th. th. th. th. th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, t. So, t. So, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. t. to. tod to. toda. toda. t. t. t. t. t. toda. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to it and too hard and it didn't work out well. So it still didn't happen. Maybe it's real because it was a sketch. Justice for this man. Maybe. Maybe. Would you, if you got caught

in a white lie like that, would you commit? Yes. Absolutely. I would rather 100% commit and make them feel like they're stupid than then what then go back on my word and just like, you're right. I fucked up and have them just be like, you're like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to th, th, th. th. th. th. th. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. Justice. to just just just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just just, to just just, to just, to just, to just just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th like they're stupid, then what, then go back on my word and just like, you're right, I fucked up, and have them just be like, you're a monster. Yeah, here's what you do, you keep lying. You add to the lies and you do 15,000 lies until your first lie makes somewhat sense. We don't even know who a rash it really is.

Lie to has been great. Thank you guys for joining. Thank you for having us. I, thank you. Thank you for being here for the first rated story that made me nearly cry. Oh my gosh. You did cry. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I would be fine with crying. It was really meaningful. I could have, I could have, tears. I could have. Yeah. Because that story was the best story. That's my favorite story that we've read.

The one with the asshole and the ring. Yeah, that. I like that one. Well, thank you for joining me and thank you for watching. And next Saturday, you're gonna want to watch this episode. You're gonna want to watch it. That's all sick. You don't want to watch it. You don't want to watch watch it watch it watch it watch it watch it watch it watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just. Just. Just watch it. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just watch it. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch it. Just watch. Just watch it. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch. Just watch.