Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - The Worst Of The Worst | Reading Reddit Stories

Episode Date: January 27, 2024

Go to http://hellofresh.com/pitredditfree and use code pitredditfree to get one free breakfast item per box while subscription is active. People continue to be the worst. 0:00-1:00 Intro 1:01-9:07 I got frustrated with a kid at the arcade https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18b1mci/aita_for_getting_frustrated_with_a_kid_at_the/ 9:08-15:28 I pointed out my sister's blue hand https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18d9wlz/aita_for_pointing_out_my_sisters_blue_hand/ 15:29-21:30 I didn't know what a fire hydrant was https://www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17y6ba5/aita_for_not_knowing_what_a_fire_hydrant_was_and/ 21:31-30:49 I lost my MIL's ashes https://www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18foq43/aita_for_accidentally_loosing_my_mother_in_laws/ 30:50-37:44 I'm faking my paternity leave https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/18ezgl9/im_faking_my_paternity_leave/ 37:45-38:51 Sponsors! 38:52-52:18 My partner keeps complaining about my eggs https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/18ge54n/my_22f_partner_23m_keeps_complaining_about_losing/ 52:19-1:01:33 AITA for telling my wife she's not famous https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/17w2i1d/people_like_my_wife_which_is_awful/ 1:01:34-1:13:23 My future SIL is stupid https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/18e223u/my_future_sisterinlaw_is_legitimately_stupid_and/ SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Courtney Miller // https://www.instagram.com/co_mill/ Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Spencer Agnew // https://www.instagram.com/spennser/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Emily Rose Jacobson Editor: Vida Robbins Director of Programming, Smosh Pit: Emily Rose Jacobson Associate Producer, Smosh Pit: Kimmy Jimenez EVP, Programming & Content: Kiana Parker Assistant Directors: Amanda Barnes, Heidi Ha Art Director: Cassie Vance Assistant Art Director: Erin Kuschner Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Utility: Monson Douglas Camera Operator: Darren Kho Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Director, Design: Brittany Hobbs DIT/AE: Matt Duran Office PA: Ovsana Tsaturian Post Production Manager: Luke Baker Production Manager: Amanda Barnes Production Coordinator: Heidi Ha Production Assistant: Marcus Munguia Prop Assistant: Oliver Wehlander Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Twitter: https://twitter.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm Shane and today the theme is am I the devil the the theme is, Am I the Devil? Let's freaking go. Right. These are the worst of the worst. And I am joined by two of the worst people I know. How Shane. Courtney and Spencer are here. Hey. You guys, I know you guys know Reddit,

so. Because Courtney, you've curated a bunch of stories for this show. Yeah, and they messed me up real bad. Yeah, you had to take a break after producing one of these episodes. You were like, I'm out. The spooky one, the research was a lot. But I think I could be ready to make Morgan or help make Morgan. Spencer, you look like you're on Reddit. Oh, yeah. I love that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that th you th you th you th you th you th you thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that thi thi thi that thathea' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I thii. thii. thi. thi. to to to to Oh yeah, I love that place. I can't believe it's taking this long for us to be on an episode together.

Why are you waiting me? Hey, pleasure to be on the couch with you. Yeah. All right, here we go. Am I the asshole for getting frustrated with a kid at the arcade today? Mm. So far no. I'm a 30-year-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-in, th-in, th-in, th-in, th-in, th-l, th-in, th-lion, th-lion, th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. tho-s. th-n'-s. th-s. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th-s. th-n't-n't-n't-n'-n. th-n. I's. th-n. th-n. th-n. th-n. th-n. th-n. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. I'm th-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-a-s. I'ma-s. I'ma-s. I'ma-s. th-a-old man and I'm a really big fan of DDR and I was just playing a bit at an arcade near me. I was about to get a full combo when this kid around eight years old decided to play a stupid prank.

He used his hand to press the buttons and mess up my combo. I was furious as I had been practicing this map for a while now and was about to full combo it. I will admit I lost my temper. I started screaming stuff like like like the the the their their their. their their their their. their their their. their their. their their. their. their. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. the. thi. the. thi. thi will admit I lost my temper. I started screaming stuff like, what the fuck are you doing? And where are your parents because they clearly failed you? It wasn't the nicest thing to say, but I was understandably angry. The staff came to me and banned me from the arcade for being aggressive.

Am I the asshole? Okay, at first I questioned, I'm like, th, at first I questioned well, I'm like, okay, is this real or not? I think this is fully real, because I have seen this type of shit at arcades. Every other arcade machine feels so casual and then DDR feels like a professional sport. It's an event. And I avoid it. I do not get on that machine because... I don't want, I don't want other people to see me playing it. That too. However, that kid did press some buttons. He pushed his bones.

Yeah, push buttons on several levels. It's pretty crappy what the little kid did, but it's a little kid. Yeah. Okay, when you're eight. Like, you know, I think, you know, he had the fear of God put him a little bit. Yeah. You know, and I thought he was going to like step on his fingers.

We don't know the kid's reaction. Maybe he was yelling, he's like, what the fuck are you doing the kids just like. Yeah. I bet the kid was terrified. If they banned him, it was hostile enough for them to call it aggressive. Sometimes those are the moments where a kid learns and now that's embedded in him forever and he's never going to mess with another person again. But it's a kid, dude. Yeah, yeah, even if it was beneficial for the kid, I feel like it's yelling what the fuck are you doing at an eight-year-old is rarely going to work well in your favor. Yeah. I also, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, if th-like, if th-like, if thi, if thi, if th-a, if th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- thi- thi, if thi, if th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, if th. If th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're that-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s, that-hea-hea-hea-hea-hea-hea- eight-year-old is rarely going to work well in your favor.

Yeah. I also like there was no stakes, you know? Full combo. A full combo! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So, I don't mean to disrespect. My initial thought was like, I thought it was like guitar here where you get like the times four multiplier and I thought that's what you can just get another one, but full combo I think means you hit every single step. Yeah. So I think he was like towards the end of the song and that's when the kid messed him up. So like... Yeah, I get it and I get his anger, but at the same time I feel like an arcade is a place where it's like, all right, especially it's like an arcade where kids are running around. It's just like, yeah this is a place thus, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is a the the the the the the the th is a the the the the the th is a the the the thi thi thi is a thi. thi. It's the thi thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi k k k k k k k k k k k k k k k kid k k k k k k k k. k. You can't hold people to the, I mean, it is a lot though.

It is a lot to have a kid come and like press, press your shit. Totally. But it's where it's where a kid can be a kid. No, that's trucky cheese. Oh. Or is that burger king? No, that of a funny idea. What? What if like when you go, you know how like, at like movie theaters, they do the thing, like the AMC, the Nicole Kimman thing, like, you can do it? We come eat a lot. Come to this place. To live. Come to this place. But like they should do one in arcades. Like, we come here the arcade. the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, the. Come, come, like, like, like, like, like can't, I can't, we come here to dance. We come here to shoot. She takes off her, whatever her mark-applier cloak, her cloak, and then she's just like,

we come here for combos. We come to this place for Mario. I will say though, eight-year-old me would never... No, that's, and that's the other thing. It's like, messing with a 30- thirty It's pretty intense. Like coming between a 30 year old man in his video games, like, look, that was about the best case scenario. The verdict was asshole. Yeah. Fair.

He got, he was so aggressive that he got banned. Someone though said, he said, not the asshole. the thooo. He th is is th is th is th is th is th is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. theat. th. th. th. thi. thi, tho, th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. thea. thea. the. th like grabbing the wheel when someone's driving. And someone said, yeah, DDR is just like driving a 2,000-pound piece of metal at 65 miles per hour. Is that a bunch of car weighs? Some cars. Maybe like a really, really big one. I don't know how much I thought they weighed, but

you're automatically the asshole for losing your temper at a child. You are the adult in a the their, their, their, their, their, th. You're, th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, tom. It, touch. It's, tome, touche, touche, tou, ty. ty. ty. ty. ty. together, ty. together, ty. together, together, ty. together, together, the adult in the situation, like your feelings, you cared a lot, but nobody else in that room maybe knew that. That's your emotions are your responsibility in that moment. This child, their little thinkies could have gone squashed. I would have, I would have trapped him on the machine and made it until, he couldn't leave the machine until he hit a full combo. I would tho he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. He couldn't th. He couldn't th. He couldn't th. He couldn't tho. He tho. He couldn't tho. He couldn't thi tho. He tho, he tho, he couldn't tho, he couldn't thi thi tho, he couldn't tho, he tho- tho-n----------n-n-n-n't the the the tho tho th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He the the the the the the, the, the, the the the the the thea-a-a-a-a-a-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'ererananananananan't ta' ta' ta' ta' tha thea' thea' th, Moby was doing him a favor? Because if he hit that full combo, he was never gonna get laid. And so that kid was like trying to be like, no, do not get that full combo.

You'll still have a chance. Oh my God. You know. Yeah, because eight-year-old's know all about that. Someone else said, you're the assel, where are your parents because they clearly failed you? Damn. So the closest I've ever been to this situation. I did have a situation where I was pissed off at little kids. I was very pissed, but I didn't do this. I was at the beach with some friends, right? It was me and like a couple couple friends. I boot the cousin'

and I started digging a hole and I dug the biggest hole at the beach that I've ever dug. And it was crazy and it was massive and it went down really deep and I was so impressed. I was getting to the point where I was like, my head was like about here. And then suddenly a bunch of little kids started to like swarm around this hole. This hole is right next to our blanket and everything. This is where our setup. And they are now swarming around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around our our our our our our our our our our our our our our their around around around around around around around around around our their their their their to our blanket and everything. Like this is where our setup. And they are now swarming around, all these kids, swarming around our stuff and this hole that I've made.

I'm actively digging it and these kids are like fucking around the sides of it. And of course, they just start to like, sand just starts to fall in. And I'm a little nervous because some of these kids are like three.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, th. th. th. th. thin, th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, th. And, th. And, th. thi, thi, thoom, th. And, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th. And, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th you're gonna fall in. Stanley Yell Nats over here. I wasn't yelling at them I wasn't saying anything. Stanley Yelnats and then and their parents are like off to the side watching and they're just like ah I'm like I'm a strange man. With a hole. How old were you? I was like 20, I was probably like 20 or 21. Okay.

Um, look, send me to the beach now. I'm gonna start digging a hole. Okay, well, this is what I was gonna ask you. Have you ever heard of the masculine urge to dig? Yes. Okay. I have it. Yeah.

I have to dig. . So fun. You get to the beach, you gotta dig. I'm sorry. These kids eventually, they started like fucking around with it so much that they were just filling the hole back up. I got up out of it and I was like, I'm like, whatever. And I was really mad. And at first I wanted to say something to one of their parents, being like, what are you like, thi. And then I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I thi, and I thi, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, like, like, I'm, like, like, I'm, like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I also, what truly happened, I was mad, I was in this guy's zone of being pissed at these kids, and then I saw these kids having like such a great time,

and I was like, oh shit, I made a core memory for a lot of kids. Because I remember when I was young, and you'd be at the beach and you'd come across some sort of insane this is the best possible scenario for this you know because otherwise there's just gonna be a hole there and I'd have to fill it back up anyways don't yell at kids they're kids even even if they are putting their hands on a DDR machine which is crazy but don't yell at them you're gonna get in trouble yeah getting banned was it worth yeah I'm gonna say can I do the one th the the one th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the of thi thi the of th th th th th th th th the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th the thi thi thi to to thi to to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the they're they're the one where it's like everybody here sucks? Really? You think everyone sucks here? That's my brute? Okay, that's entirely fair? The kid does suck, but not... The kid sucks? The kid sucks, but just

don't yell and curse at a kid. Yeah, everybody here sucks. That's bad. Okay, next story. Am I the asshole for pointing out my sister's blue hand? I'm a 27-year-old man and have an older sister who's 34. She is a professional chef and she has a lot of culinary themed tattoos. Recently she got her hands tattooed with measurements she uses a lot in the kitchen, like teaspoon and theaspoon and thousand thi. She says she actually refers to them at work, the the, throwne. thin, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I's, and, and, and, and, thi, and, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thr-a, thr-s, th, tho-au, tho-au, tho-a-s, tho-a, tho-a, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s. thr-s. thr-s. thr-s. thr-s. thr-s. thr-s. thr-s, th people ask her what they're about, and then she gets to talk about being a chef. It impresses people and I know she enjoys the attention. Recently, we were having dinner with our parents and some family friends. The conversation turned to tattoos,

and of course my sister started to and recipes. I kept waiting for the conversation to go back to tattoos so that I could talk about my newest one, but it wasn't happening. He's so mad. Finally, I found an opportunity to point out the fact that one of my sister's tattoos is such poor quality, it dyed a part of the skin around it, blue. That happens if the artist presses too hard, and it's permanent, which means it was a cheap tattoo. Everyone else looked really awkward, but my sister laughed for some reason and said something like,

Yeah, I just have a blue hand now, oh well, and that really bothered me. I have many tattoos myself, but all of mine are really meaningful, and I take a lot of care to find good artists. She obviously doesn't take them seriously and just gets them on a whim, but since hers are mostly for attention, everyone wants to talk about hers instead. I told her she shouldn't be so casual about having a bad tattoo and that it looks like it was cheap.

I told her I'm glad she likes it, but it looks like she's been taking colloidal silver or something. My dad told me to let it go, and my mom kept to me try and my mom told to told their their their their their tattoos are personal. It's okay if you don't like them. It ignored me for the rest of the night. My mom thinks I should apologize and apparently the friends who were there thought I was out of line. Personally, I think I was just pointing out a fact. And I honestly wanted to get better tattoos in the future

for her own sake. Am I the asshole? this whole thing out and not realize how to say, hey, man, reread that. His ego is in the driver's seat, peddled to the middle right now, like could not. Literally, okay, I genuinely feel like there's just already some pent-up anger toward his sister, just already, and this is just part of it, because like he was mad that she wasn't she he wanted her to feel bad in front of everyone that's what he wanted and he got mad that she didn't and she rolled off of her like bro what what is really the problem here and he was also like clearly aware of himself like wanting

attention in a way which like is big but it's like hey then kind of like, you know, handle those feelings yourself. He's like, oh, like, clearly she enjoys the attention, but like, nobody was talking to me. Like, I don't know, it's like, I don't know. I want to see his tattoos though. Yeah, his are probably really dumb. They're probably really dumb. The hand measurements? has a function. That's awesome. Yeah, though those sounds like good tattoos. I'm trying to think of like handy ones we could get. Yeah.

Most tattoos that I actually end up complimenting are often ones where people are like, oh yeah, I just freaking got that. Yeah, like there are the ones that people don't really care that. We should get tatoes of like tablet. I don't know. Just like, I'll like, am I the asshole, yes, no. I'll tattoo this entire story onto my back. That's smart. That'd be really funny.

I think this guy doesn't like that people like his sister. Like that she's being liked. This is probably cool as a trying to get, like doesn't acknowledge that he's, he likes the attention too. We're all people, we all like attention. We're all talking. You were patiently waiting for the conversation to go back to tattoo so that it was your turn. Be an adult. If you want to talk about something, take the initiative, just talk about it. It doesn't need to make her feel bad, but she blew me off because she doesn't value my opinion in the least. I got mad that my plan

didn't work so I doubled down on being a jerk. My parents were so embarrassed about my behavior that they want me to apologize to my sister who I once again to point out doesn't care what I think. That's what normal people do. You're the asshole. Someone else said your sister's hand's their th. th with envy, but at least your tattoos are oh so meaningful. You're the asshole. Got his ass with that one. That was pretty sick. Lastly, yep, O.P. is blue with envy. Someone said, dude just blew up for no reason.

OP had a chance to be not the asshole, but he blew it. He went up to his room and blew himself. I know. With envy. Yeah, yeah, pretty solid. Like tattoos on the palms of your hands, I feel like is not like a very like a very attention grabby thing. I know a lot of, well a lot of tattoors like won't do tattoos on your hands because they will like, you know, it's not really possible to do like a high quality one in the hand because like. The pores, like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you know, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, like, like, like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. tap, like, like, like, like, like, like, hand because like the pores and the creases. Yeah it's like there's too much going on there. People just get the mustaches here.

Yeah. I get the mustache. Do you guys get a lot of comments on your tattoos? Are they positive? Negative ever? Um, I don't I don't wear short sleep shirts around a whole lot, but what I do people are usually, but you know mine you start off getting meaningful ones and then they get dumber and dumber and then they get more fun You have some sick ones because Yeah, don't win Mario Party you always mentioned you have the thwamp. I've been waiting for you guys to bring up my tattoo I will say you have the squirtle. You have the squirtle. You have the squirtle. You have the squirtle. You have the squirtle. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have the th. You have the squirtle. You have the squirtle. You have th. You have the squirtle. You have th th th the squirtle. You have the squirted. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have the squirtle. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have the the s. You have the s. You have the th. You have the th. You have th. You have the the th. th. the th. the th. the the the the that the thi. the thi. the the the thi. thi. thi. the. th. th a fun one. Yeah. I was on a win. And then you've got the Mock 5, which is dope. Yeah, the dudes love it. I will say, if they notice it, they go, oh shit. They're a Moc-5 tattoo, but that's the only one that really gets hit.

They say it like, oh, bro, Zanud! Oh, the thu! It's is is is is is is. Dude, is that a meal hirsh? Yeah. I'm gonna get a bunch more this month, I think. Oh, fuck. Thank you for allowing me the space to talk about my tattoos, and thank you for the attention. No problem. Ha ha ha ha! You've got, God, your tattoos are so cool. All right, next story.

Am I the asshole for not knowing what a fire hydrant was and I wasn't supposed to park there? No! No! Anyways, this orphanage burned down and I was just parked here. I'm 23 and I've been driving since I was 16. I'm a really good driver and only have a few tickets for like very minor stuff. I'm a good driver is what I'm trying to say. I was over at my Situation Ship's apartment and he lives close to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown to downtown what I'm trying to say. I was over at my

situation ship's apartment and he lives close to downtown. He's had like seven beers and our door dash was taking forever so he asked if maybe I could go to the restaurant and get it since I'd only had a few glasses of wine. Oh the story's crazy. So... Okay I said sure. He said I could take his dad's car since it's automatic. I was like there and back in just a few minutes, but there was only one spot on the street, so I parked there. The next morning his dad's car was like, just gone. So first we called the police and they were sending someone. Then he did a double take and said, wait, did you park there? And I said,, and he said you parked in front of a fire hydrant?

I said I had no idea what that was. I literally had no idea. No. And he said, oh my god, how could you be so stupid? I was really offended and I said, don't yell at me in public like that. And then the police showed up to investigate the car theft. And he had to confess that it was probably towed because of the fire hydrant. The cop did some research and was able to find out what tow place had it. The cop then told me how stupid I was and how I put everyone in the whole block at risk if there had been a fire. It cost a small fortune to get the car out of the tow yard plus the tow in it too. My situation ship says I should pay for everything but I don't want to and he has way more money than me. Am I the asshole? This person's... I don't know. I don't know if you're the asshole in front of a firehider. This person's a train wreck.

Don't yell at me. I might have left out the part about drunk driving. I'm sorry, yeah, I don't know if you're the asshole part in a fire. I the th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I the th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I's the th. I'm part the th. I'm part th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm the the the the th. I don't th. I don't the th. I don't the the the the the the th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm and then driving. Yeah. Yeah, the fire hydrant probably looked like a freaking bush. I wish she, I wish, I wish they told the cop they're like, sorry, I didn't know what the fire hudder was, I was pretty drunk. I was pretty drunk, so I didn't know what that was. Do not have a few glasses of wine and drive. I have seen the things. I the fire fire fire, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I.. the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. they. I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, I. I have seen the things where like the fire, I like when the fire department gets petty and they'll like, they'll like run the fire hose. I don't even think that's out of pettiness. I think they literally are just like, oh we have to break this.

Oh, that's even more awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad, yeah. Yeah, because they need to be the, the, the, the, the, to the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, happens, they will just punch out your windows. Yeah, all 2,000 pounds of the car. Yeah, because they need to be, because they need to be as close to it as possible that the hose is not, is only so long and... Otherwise you get flying around like little raspy. Woo-hoo-whose.

Wow! Yeah. Obvious verdict, asshole. Comments here. You're the asshole, it's common sense. You could have killed someone if there was a fire. How do you not know what a fire hydrant is? Pay for everything. It's 100% your fault. O.P. responded. I mean, I've seen them before, but I thought they were like 100 years ago and not used anymore. Someone said, so you thought they were like historical statues? And Op. Op said no, just like other things like telephones like thahphones like thahphones like thahphones like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. Like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thtelephone poles that aren't used anymore. Oh. Because everyone has iPhones but they haven't taken them down yet. Oh no. I'm sorry. I think this person's hilarious.

I think this person's hicks a lot of ass in the same town. This person kicks a lot of ass in some the. This person shouldn't be allowed to drive. No, they shouldn't be able to drive. But they are funny. They are funny. They are funny. They are funny.

You're the asshole. You're a self-absorbed asshole. If this is real, God, I hope not. Then you need to grow up. Pay the fine slash fees that is probably the most minor consequence for what could have happened due to your negligence. Look, it could be fake, but there are people like thin. I believe this. I believe it. I fully believe this because like, and it makes it, you know what it highlights for me is

like we're going, oh you're so stupid for for doing this and not knowing for parking there and not knowing what fire hydrant is, but I'm like, the stupidest thing is to have a few drinks and drive. Yeah, that is really stupid to justify that in your head. There's, and there, and it it it it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't their, it didn't their, it didn't their, and it didn't their, it's, it's, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, anything to the story other than like even making it worse for you. But that's how people view it. They really don't view it as being bad. I think she had to include that because her partner was like I had too much to drink. The smarter thing is for you to drive and drink.

And so like that's how she got put into the situation. But bro. I just like, but that's like, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're really. they're really. they're really. th. they're really. they're really. th. they're really. they're they're they're really. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they but that's like one of the things on your permit test, maybe depending on what state they're in, but it's like one of the bare basic fundamental things about driving and parking is stay away from the fire hydrant. They didn't see do the right thing, Brennan. So, like, nice reference Spencer. Six, no. That's awesome. But I think, I think she needs to pay the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to the to to to to pay the to pay to pay the to pay to pay the to pay the the the to the the to the to the the the state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state the fines the fines the fines the fines the the the the the the the to the state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin. thin. thin. thin. Sick dude. No, it's awesome. But I think, I think she needs to pay the fines and things,

because that wouldn't have happened. No, but I don't think logic works for this person. No, that's fair. No, because the thing that they got upset about was being yelled at. And then the cop show somebody's like, you're stupid. Is it a guy or a girl? I don't know, they don't say, but they're dumb. Yeah.

They dumb. Here we go. Next story. Trigger warning here, parental loss. So if that is something you do not want to hear about, you can skip ahead to the next story. Am I the asshole for accidentally losing my mother-in-law's ashes? Oh no, in-law? Was she chill?

Not the in-law. Was she chill? No, she was burned. thrown. T-This is a 26-year-old man. I and my wife, who's 25, have been married for four years and together for six. We met in college and shortly- Sorry, they got married real young. Yeah.

How old were they? He was 22, she was 21. They've been together for years before that. We met in college and shortly after we graduated, I proposed. We've never fought and have always stayed loyal and faithful. When she was 16 her mother died in a fatal accident. I won't go into detail but after a fight between her mother and her father and her father's to'er. their mom stormed out and was hit while crossing the street by a drunk

driver. I've always understood how devastating her mother's loss has been there for her on her mother's passing anniversary and Mother's Day. Lately we've been thinking about having kids, so we moved from our small apartment in New York to a nice home in New Jersey. The move was stressful for both of us and we wanted to make sure we didn't forget anything. Once we finished packing, she asked me to do one last scan through her apartment and to grab her mother's ashes which were in a vase. She was going to drive to the house with all our stuff and I'd carefully bring the vase to make sure it wasn't damaged in all the other boxes. I said goodbye to the house and put the vase in my front seat and started driving. I was driving to the house when some jerk cut me off, making me slam the brakes. The vase had a ceramic lid and was suctioned on loosely. When I slammed the brakes, the vase tumed, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the vase, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, and, and, and, and pute, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, and puth. I was, and puth. I was, and pute, and pute, and pute, and pute, I was, I was, I was, and pute, and pute, and pute, I was, and pute, I was, I was, and, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, wase, wase, wase, wase, wase, waskk.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.a, the the the the the the front seat and the lid came off. I pulled to the side of the road to try and scoop it back in, but it was no use. I ended up pulling up to a car wash where you could vacuum and clean your car.

You're a criminal. I vacuumed up any trace of the ashes and made my car look good as new. For the new... For the new ashes, I went to pick up dirt and sand off the side of the road and had filled up the vase halfway. Everything worked out great. I made it to the house. I used the excuse that there was heavy traffic on the highway and that's why I was late. Everything was all good until she lifted the vase.

She said it felt heavier than before. I told her maybe she just thought it was lighter, but when she opened the vase, when she opened the vase, she noticed a slight difference in the color. Instead of a light gray, it was tan and brown with little pebbles. Am I the pebble? Are I the pebble? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the theaa thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the pebble? We were making that joke before we started. Are I the pebble? And she's like, what are those? She's like, that, those must have been inside of her.

Dude, those are bones, dude. Wow, your mom had round bones. Dude, I'm sorry, you picked the wrong people with this and now we're here we are. She immediately asked what happened. I told her the story and she was fuming. He came so fast. She couldn't believe I sucked her mom up into a vacuum and replaced her with dirt. You sucked my mom up? You sucked my mom up? You sucked my mom up?

Stop! She couldn't believe I sucked her mom up into a vacuum and replaced her with dirt. She threatened to kick me out, saying if I didn't leave, she would. She just left to go for a walk and I think she blew things out of proportion. I kept calling her and when she finally answered, I told her she acted like I killed her. She hung up and I haven't heard or seen from her in two hours. Am I the asshole or is she just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. She's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me me. I told. I'm told. I'm told me me me me me me me me me. I'm. I'm to told. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to th. Am I the asshole or is she just taking this way too far? Okay, number one, I have started to come to the opinion that if people are posting a Reddit story mere hours after a fight, I think you're an asshole.

I think you're an asshole, even if you're in the right, in the fight, to just immediately go to Reddit. That's weird. Comments here, let me think really hard for a moment. Yes, you're the asshole. Someone said, you're the asshole. You admit you didn't secure the urn properly. Tried to hide the evidence and yet you still think she's the issue? Assuming this is a real post, I suspect you'll be heading for divorce court soon.

You seriously can't be dense enough to never told me to secure the urn, and I didn't want to do anything to mess with it or the ashes. But when it fell, I felt I had to do something to get my sled out of the trouble. Okay, that's, um, that's weaponized incompetence there. She didn't tell me to secure the urn. that's like, yeah. that's so messed. I'm. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the th. I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I th. I th. I felt I th. I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I the the the. I felt I felt I felt I felt I felt I had the. I felt I felt I had to to to to to to to to to pulls over he's like oh what do I do then he looks over and he sees like a copy of Luigi's mansion yeah and he's like oh and he gets the vacuum and to go oh my god yeah the just ah all he had to do is as soon as it happens he needs to call him back I am so sorry I just had to slam my brakes because someone cut me off and the ashes are now in the seat of my car, let's figure out how to get them. They're there. The ashes are in your car.

Yes, they're spilled out. There's got to be a better way to go about this. But you vacuumed it up, which is getting rid of it. Yeah, I think what I've seen people do, and it's obviously not like a full proof thing, but it's like th, th, th, th. th. th. then you get as much of the remains as you can. Obviously, it's not going to be 100% of the remains. And then you empty that into the vase, yeah. But the fact that he immediately, it was like, it was like he's done this before.

Like he so quickly was like, I went to clean my car out and I grabbed some debris from the side of the road, like zero remorse. He dug his own grave. He dug his own grave. In that situation, he cared more about his car, because he's even like, yeah, my car was good as new. My car was good as new. My car looked awesome. But this person? No. Can I say, this is like meet the parents on several levels.

Yes. Because they break the urn, but also, the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their the urn, but also when the cat runs away and he brings back the other cat. Yeah. They couldn't tape it down. This was some Ben Stiller's shenanigans. They could have literally taped it down. One piece of tape, a little tape, a little tape, tape. Tape. I didn't know, people actually like a, it's like a, it's a little. Oh, I guess so the whole thing shattered. It's not like a, it's not like a twist on. I think the lid came off.

It fell and the lid fell off. So I'm like, there's still stuff there. One last comment, Loll absolutely no way is this real? Vacuuming up her dead mother's remains. I'm th sure. I th sure. I thured. I thured. I think of. Now that I'm thinking about it, it wasn't the smartest thing I could do. Thanks for the feedback. 139 downvotes. Yeah, dude, come on. And then what really sucks is that stuff happened.

Sucks is the vacuum. What, after it happened, his reaction to her feelings. Oh my God. She had every right to have an absolute tantrum. She could have, she could have freaking busted a window. But him being like, you're acting like I killed her. Like, just say you're fucking sorry. Say you're so fucking sorry. It's, the beginning of it to me is just like,

when you, to understand the weight of something to someone, like, that is if, if anyone, if a stranger came up to me and was like, hey, these are some ashes, I need you to transport them. I wouldn't just like plop it in a seat and buckle it up. Like I would probably put that in a box and seal that. So I'm like, I need to know nothing can happen to this shit, because like that's so much responsibility. Or just ask him like, thi, throwne. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. I. that. that. I. I. I. I. that. I. I. I. I's. that. I's. I's. that. I'd like, that. I'd just just just just, thr-I's like, like, like, like, that. I'd like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr. I. thr. thr. thr. tooo. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thi. thi. thi. transport this maybe. Communicate it. You didn't tell me to secure it. Yeah, no, that's- Oh, you didn't tell me didn't want me to vacuum it up.

That totally is weaponized and confidence by making it her responsibility on him an adult who was given one job. And then adding the dirt is crazy. Yeah, what's worse? Adding the dirt or showing up with the urn half full? Adding the dirt is so much worse. Adding the dirt. That is, you're adding a lie. It's so disrespectful because you're, that's in its own little way, you're equating your mother-in-law's ashes to dirt, to just dirt. Yeah, you're like like it it it it it the the th. It it th. It th. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to th. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the ashes to dirt, to just dirt. Yeah.

You're like, oh, it's kind of the same. Kind of. When it comes to like human remains, there is like a very intensely special level of respect that you pay to that. And I'm sure that the reaction would have been, there still would have been some pain from his girlfriend, but like, or from his wife, but to add dirt into it, like at least she could have still just had her mom still, not as much. Um, now she's, now he's, now he's, I'm an earned half full kind of guy.

Wow, I just, I, I think he nailed, it was a nail in the coffin for how he reacted and made it her fault somehow. When that was one, you had one job. If I was ever asked to do something like that, I would fricking tea thea thea tape, tape tape around the trash bag. I'm walking there. This is a stuffed animals around it. This is an am-I-the-X situation. Yeah. This person is broken is broken is broken broken broken th-I-I-I's broken is broken th-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm the-I'm the-I'm the-I-I-I-I. th-I-s. to-s. to-s. to-s-s-s. to-tha-tha-tha-tha-Ia-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-saughe-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-sa-sa-sa-s. to-sa my chest. I'm faking my paternity leave. Huh? Okay, let's... No. Let's hear him out. I work for a pretty large company with a two-month paternity leave deal written in my contract. Eight months ago I told my employee my fiancé was pregnant. We never really talk about our personal lives, but he was happy and cheerful for me. I found some random high school

acquaintance on Instagram that was recently pregnant and showed my employers the images of her baby bump for the next few months and really sold the idea that I'm about to be a father and have a fiance at home. I haven't had a girlfriend in years and the whole thing is a complete lie. I don't think there's any way for the company to verify any of it but I'm getting kind of nervous. I have my leave scheduled for mid-December. I hate my job and I'm not afraid to be fired if this whole thing blows over. I'm just amazed I took things this far and I'm at a point where I don't think I can take it back. Um, what in the world? Damn, that's a crazy situation. I'm honestly at a loss.

I... Paternity leave as a treat? Yeah, I mean, he just told a complete lie. Yeah, to me it's the follow-through. That's crazy. He like, he built a hole. He didn't like say something and was like, ah, shit. Like, hope no one, he's building a it's a reverse catfish yeah he's spinning a web he's convinced everyone that he has a girlfriend yeah people are gonna want photos who are gonna ask how it's going they're

gonna ask how his partner is for the rest of his life what if he goes to this job just sounds like he has no friends no nobody's this person this person sounds deeply sad yeah because like if no one at his work like knows like, hey, like you have a girlfriend? It's like, oh no, yeah, definitely like. This is a lie he's gonna stumble on. Someone is gonna ask him the wrong question. He's not gonna know how to answer it. Yep. Comments, as someone who works in HR, employee relations, this happens frequently enough and unless you have a new job lined up, I'd give this some thought. This is fraud and you will most likely get fired for it, which you said you don't care about, but you most likely won't get unemployment because of it, so you'll be

out of income. And depending on the industry you'll have a problem getting a new job as it could follow you if the industry is small and people talk. But you do you. If you think this is worth the risk, then thi, the the the the the their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrown, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thr-i, thr-i, throoooooooooooi. thr-a. thr-a. throooi. thi. thi. thr-a, thi, thrthis is worth the risk then nobody can stop you. Someone said this happens frequently? They responded, sadly yes. We have two weeks of paternity leave. This guy put in a request for two weeks. We kept tellain him we needed the birth certificate and he kept putting it off. So the dummy instead goes on a two-week trip to hike in Yosemite but to post all kinds of shit on Facebook, forgetting that he th he he he only was there no baby, but he got a divorce like six months before and they didn't have kids. This is just the best one. Most of the other ones I've had about six, but I have friends in HR at other companies.

And they have all had it. Aren't so salacious. I had one person lie about needing FMLA because his wife had cancer. Nope. It turned out he was hired as a law enforcement expert consultant for a movie. Lying about needing to care for a sick family member is pretty despicable. But FMLA is unpaid so at least he wasn't stealing money. Lastly, someone said, start updating that resume and looking for job offers, buddy.

Yeah, that's tough because... Resuma loving father. I have a baby. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He he, he. He he, he. He was, he he, he was, he was, he was he, he was he he he he he he he he he. He was he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. He was he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He was he. He was he. He was t, he was t, he was took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took he was he was he was he he he he he he. buddy. Yeah, that's tough because... The resume loving father. I have a baby. He's wanting to take advantage of this two-month thing, which that job is doing great things for paternity and maternity leave. If you get a couple months off, that's awesome. But like, when someone does that, it totally, I feel like it diminishes and takes thininininininin, I thii, I thin, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I thi, like, like, like, I feel like, like, like, like, like, like, I that, I thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th out of people who are literally actually giving birth, having a child, and that time is there for a reason, because those people need that time.

So it is pretty despicable. This is crazy to me because as tough as a job can be, it just sounds so much more exhausting to like keep up a lie of this level. That's mental exhaustion that I wouldn't be able to handle. And imagine being the girl that her photo is being used. Like did he ask her? No. Oh definitely not. No, that's, this guy doesn't talk to anyone. Can you imagine ask that? Like, hey, can I use photos of your, of you and your pregnant, pregnant? To get paternity leave and say that it's my baby th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to steal from my company. To get paternity leave and say that it's my baby. Do you guys think you could do this? No. No way.

I hate lying. And it's literally, it's stealing from the company. It's fraud. It's really like, I'm like, no way. Oh, I mean like on a performance level? Like, could I sell it? My moral compass is way too intense. Like my Jiminy Cricket would be screaming in my mind. Oh, man.

I would just not pull it off. I think I could keep that lie up. I think you can keep to yourself a little bit in a way. I think you can to try and the way. I think you can do crime? No, I'm saying like, do you think you could like, oh, like, you know, I'm having a baby in a couple months? The problem is, the problem is at Smosh,

we don't have many, there's not many babies. Yeah, like, there it is. And I think that's the only baby. Yeah, I'm saying like a new job, you don't talk to anyone. Like, because clearly this guy talks to no one. Because clearly this guy, like, do you think you could be like, oh yeah, this is like, th thought it would be easy. Like what, what, you didn't really think very far ahead. We've read a lot of stories where people are screwing over like their jobs, like, and if they're working at like a big corporation, a part of me is kind of like,

nah, whatever, big corporations are screwing over everyone. But what me that you're an asshole more I'm like I think you're weird I think this is weird yeah yeah yeah I think he's both that's a that's a that's a red flag on obviously many levels but like when you're like oh that's really just bad judgment you know paternity leave is something that I don't we don't get much of here in the state it is it is it is it is it is it is it is th th th th th th th th th the th th the th the the th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to th to th to th to the the the the to to to to th th th the the the the the the th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the people take advantage of it, when they lie like this, they end up screwing over the people who truly need it and want it. It should be used when it's needed. Because I feel like, yeah, people are going to use this as like a evidence of why we shouldn't have it.

It's like, well, who are just going to take advantage of it? Exactly. It's like a funny headline where it's like, oh yeah, like I like took a bit. But it's like, the reality was like, no, that's gross. Yeah. And I feel like you're very likely to get caught. I mean, these HR people are saying they've caught people doing it. And then you are committing a crime. Is to help. They are pre-portioned, they are delicious, and they are sent right to your door, ready

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their tooke it up in our kitchen. It was fantastic. I got it done in no time. I was like a ninja cooking in our kitchen, and it was so good. People were jealous. They were like, where'd you get that? I'm like, I made it myself. And they're like, no way. And I'm like, yeah, hello fresh. Go to hello fresh.com slash pit reddit free and use code pit reddit free for free for free for the thrown.

to the show. at helifresh.com slash pit reddit free with code pit reddit free. Back to the show. Next story, this comes from relationship advice. This is a 22-year-old woman. My partner, who's 23, a 23-year-old man, keeps complaining about losing half of my eggs when I'm 30. Oh. This is my very first relationship.

We have been together for five years now. He said he never wanted to get married or anything until he met me. Recently he's been complaining about my age, which is 22. He says he wants to start having children when he is 30, but since we're so close in age, half of my eggs will be gone by then and he's worried about me being infertile or having trouble having children. I have never had any symptoms or problems in that area so I'm not sure why. He says he wants his wife to be at age 25 by the time he turns 33. This isn't the first time he's talked about this. We had a convo about before about this this this this th tho about tho about tho th tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. I thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I I I've th. I I I I I I I I I I thi. I I I I I I I I th. I th. I I I I I I. I. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I've thrown, te. I've tee. toda. te. toda. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. I've te. I've te about this. We had a convo about before about this topic and he said that if I wasn't able to have kids then one option was for him to have kids

with another woman and then basically take the kids from her so that we can raise the kids together. He doesn't want to adopt because it's too much money and other options are too much money. But the thing is I'm perfectly fine and thinn't thi I'm thi I'm thi I'm thi I'm thi I'm thi I'm thi I'm thi I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm thi thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thinn't thinn't thin. thin. the the theee theeean theeean thea thea thea thea thea theeeeeeeeeean thi thi thi be able to have children. I don't know if there's another woman or if he just doesn't want me anymore. I never feel good enough for him. How do I deal with this? That's kind of insane. That's kind of insane for him to just be like, you know, I'm thinking about being a pedophile soon.

And I'm trying to work on that. And I think that I need to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do that that that that that to solve for this. I think she kills him. To be real, I think this man forgot that time exists. I think he didn't think this through. Bro her eggs. Bro her eggs. She should be like, I have twice as many eggs as normal. Actually, I just got back to the doctors. He said I have too many eggs.

I have two dozen eggs. And by the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to the doctors. He said I have too many eggs. I have so many fucking eggs. I have two dozen eggs. Yeah. And by the time I'm 30, I'll have the most expensive. That's too expensive. He said, the doctor says at 30, that I'll have the perfect amount of eggs. She should be like, I'm worried that you'll have children with this guy. No, I mean, that's the real answer. She should get out of this relationship. This person is being real weird.

And raises a good question of, is there another woman? Because suddenly he's concerned about her age. Okay, yeah, let me just fix that real quick. Y'all never heard of a five-year plan? So, like I said, I want someone who's at least eight years, he wants someone who's eight years younger than him. He's 23 now. So at 23, he's talking about 15-year-olds.

Elvis behavior. He's complaining about her age, but like, like, like, then break up. Like, yeah, and so, so he's saying, and it's so weird how it's worded to where it's like we can get a baby from someone else and take the baby from them he's like I've got a you we just so I'm a surrogate this is just a certain I'm pretty sure this guy this guy sounds like Dennis from yeah yeah always sunny like fully evil yeah the the the they. the the the the the the th. th. th. I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the. And it's so, it's so annoying too. He's like completely eliminating himself from this equation, making it all her problem.

Oh, totally. Dude, you're growing too. You're, your shit, you're sitting on your little balls gaming all day. They're probably not gonna be pristine when you're 30. Sorry, that was weird. My balls are only getting stronger, Yeah, from his perspective. What if that was my lie? I've actually had two balls this whole time. That'd be awesome.

That was my big smosh lie. I'm not a fan of this argument either, this issue that he's raising, because there's no like action item. It's like, okay, so what are we going to do? You're saying? Either surrogate or what? kids with you is basically what he's saying. He's a weirdo though. I mean the whole, if someone said like, yeah, when I'm 33, I want to be with a 25-year-old, I'd be like, I am never talking to you again. That's a crazy shit. Yeah. To have like, because it sounds like he almost has like goals. He has pedophile goals. Yeah. That is what that is what that is. There's something, I don't. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I don't th. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't that I don't that I'm, I'm like, I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I this is just me, but like, you know, having your life planned out like that, maybe, I guess for some people it does work like that, but for me it's like, I

want to like, be like, these milestones that feel so arbitrary, but like, I don't know, that's just me. He's just weird. It's just weird, it's weird she can have many. Get out of. Yeah. Yeah. Comments here. Well, do you want to date an idiot? Because that's not how fertility works and he seems incapable of learning. He's telling you to your face he plans to leave you for a younger person.

I would deal with it by breaking up. Hope he responded. Honestly, I don't have much knowledge on how fertility and all that work work work work workthat work. I know just the basis, basics I'm assuming she went, although when he says things like this, I know it's BS. I have an older sister who just turned 30 and birthed the healthy baby boy, so I don't know what he's on about. Someone else said, male fertility also goes down with age. He's just a misogynist and you should move on from him. A true partner will make you feel good, happy and loved. That's not this man. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. that that th. thrue thr- th. th. th. I that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th is th. th. th. th. th. thi thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I. thr-I. thr-I. thr-I. thr-I. thr-I. I thr-I. I thr-I. I this man. O.P. said, I told him male fertility goes down at the same age, but his reply to that was, it goes down from a trillion to a billion. When you're 30, you have like eight eggs.

Can we get a fact? Where is this man reading? Can we get a fact check on that? Where is he? I can guarantee you women have more than eight eggs. This guy didn't even look at a computer screen. He just sat in a chair and got an idea. No, we can have like eight eggs. This is just the failure of sex ed, but I'd ask him flat out.

So your ideal partner is currently 15 years old, and then break up with him regardless of whatever answers. OPE said yes, because when he said that, I was speechless, because he once told me that I was ugly and unattractive at 17, because I was too young and he didn't like it, but now he wants a wife eight years younger than him, I don't know. This is one of those Reddit stories where I'm like, okay, hold on, you're, you're, like, asking for advice and everything you're talking about is just this partner is horrible. Why do we give these men the time? Yeah.

What? Because he's having half math happen in his head and he's trying to make her her problem and she's actually trying to figure it out. Walk away. I know. A last comment here. Someone said, I dislike your boyfriend intensely. Yeah, vibes. Crazy. I don't know what th,, but we're about to find out because we have an update.

No. Three days later. Hi everyone, I was finally able to talk to him about everything. It was one of the hardest conversations I think I've ever had to do, but at first I did as much research as I could and what I didn't know about female fertility and started the discussion with that. He said he understands the he he he he the the he under the th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, I th, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I tho- tho, I tho, I tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. the discussion with that. He said he understands, and if I won't have trouble getting pregnant or having children at 30, then we should be fine. I made sure to tell him that his comment about wanting a girl eight years younger than him

scared me and made me feel that he would leave me as soon as I get too old. He explained that I misunderstood, and he didn't want a younger woman, and he knows I can't be 25 when he's 33, but it would be ideal for him because of how he thought female fertility worked and he doesn't want pregnancy or birth to be hard on me since I'm older. Even though, even though we talked about everything, I still don't feel satisfied with the outcome. I continue to explain to him how hurt I was, not just about his, this situation, but everything else he has done that hurt me. the...... And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he, I. And he, I. And he's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. to be th. to be to be thi, I didn't, about his this situation, but everything else he has done that hurt me.

Surprisingly, it didn't turn into a fight and he tried comforting me and apologizing and promising he wouldn't do any of those things again and he didn't want to hurt me and he didn't want to hurt me and he didn't want to hurt me and he didn't really know what to say, but I did my best to be honest with him and told him that I I I I I just him that I just him that I just him that I just him that I just I just I just I just I just I just I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just couldn't just couldn't just couldn't just couldn't just couldn't just that I just couldn't that I just that I just that I just to to told told told told him told told told told told told told told told to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try try try try try try try try to try try to to to try to to to try to try to to try to to to to to try to to to try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to promises. I also said that I deserve to be loved and cherished and I've only been begging for him for I don't know how long and I'm just so mentally, emotionally and even physically exhausted. He didn't really say anything and I can't really remember how the convo ended. I have the worst memory and I'm just so overwhelmed with all my emotions and stress so please bear with me and if you leave a comment, please try and be nice, I would really appreciate it. I haven't talked to him since and he hasn't tried to contact me or come to see me. We don't live together.

After that happened, I went and talked to my mom and told her everything that happened, and she's been so supportive and comforting and just here for me since last night. I don't want to be unhappy and miserable. I want to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved and cherved and cherved and chered and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and cherished and loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved to be loved and cherished and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, someone that will be good for me, but honestly I can't even think about another relationship. I want to thank every single person for your advice and giving it to me straightforward and also for the sweet and supporting messages I will be forever grateful for. This is the only update. Wow. Wow. Well she did the right thing. I'm so proud of her that she held her ground and still wasn't satisfied with his answer. Because it sounded weird. He, like, he really didn't think this through before bringing the issue to her, and he made a big mistake.

Yeah. And I'm glad they haven't spoken. I think that it should be left at that. Sounds like they broke up. And I think th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, thou, thi, thi, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, thou, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, thou, thou, thin, thin, thin, thin, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tooan, tha, tha, tooooooo she should let it ride because she is so young and if you can comprehend the idea of someone loving and terrishing you, then that exists tenfold. Yeah. Absolutely. And I'm so glad that she had someone to support her and make her feel more grounded in her decision than her to potentially feel insecure and want to go back because like that can happen when you're really young. It's just insane that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi tho thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th th. And th th th. And th th th. And th th th. th. th. th. tho th. tho tho tho tho tho tho thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo th. than her to potentially feel insecure and want to go back because like that can happen when you're really young. It's just insane that he was telling her this plan like he determined something so insane like this without even doing a second of research himself. Or critical thinking of like him and him still almost doubling down of like

yeah I know you can't be 25 when I'm 33 but it would would be pretty cool. It's like, what are you, what do you want? Like, what do you want? No, I think this showed a lot of stuff beneath that she does not want to find out more about. No. She should just get out of there. And it totally, a lot of it is misogynistic and him making it her problem and her responsibility and making her feel bad for her age, something she cannot control. Right. And she made the right decision, 100%. I hope he'd never find someone. I hope he's a lone book. Yeah, reading a book could be nice.

Dare I say any book? Yeah, good to tell you're the book? There's some books that he probably shouldn't read. You're right. Comments here. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiiiiii. th. th. th. thia thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. thea. toea. toeea. toea. thea. theea. thea. thea. the. 't read. You're right. Comments here. I'm proud of you, O.P. and I'm sorry as well. It's hard to go through breakups, but with time, this two shall pass. O.P. responded, I'm just impatiently waiting for the time to pass and try to distract myself with everything possible. Thank you so much for being so kind. hurting right now, but you're going to look back on this later as one of the best decisions you ever made. This man sees women as incubators, not people. You deserve someone that loves you with their whole heart and sees you as a human being.

That's the bare minimum. I remember reading your last post and being very, very worried for you. I'm so relieved you have chosen to exit this toxic and unhealthy relationship. I've been in your position and you thoe thoe the position thoe th. I th. I th. I the position th. I thoe th. I've the position th. I've thoe, th. I've thoan thoe, tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I've th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the thr-a thrown thrown the the the tho thoo the the the thooo the the thooo the the yourself in thinking about his good qualities. Let me tell you something, even the worst person on the planet has some good qualities. That's not a reason to overlook bad behavior and misogyny. You did the right thing by breaking up and do not let this man back into your life. You will never be happy and he'll always treat you like an object. I'm so proud of you for leaving. Lean on your loved ones and focus on healing. You've got this." O.P responded, you're right, I have been second-guessing myself, but then I just make sure

I remember all the horrible, horrible things and it erases all of my second guessing. I still wish I could find someone that will love and cherish me for who I am. But at the same time, I don't want anyone. I'd rather be myself because this was really just traumatizing. Thank you so much for your kindness and advice and support. I appreciated it all. Yeah, one thing I will say is like we only got a tiny sliver of what this relationship dynamic was, but even in the little information she shared, she said, oh yeah, he called me unattractive when I was a certain age.

The goal to say that to someone that you're supposed to love and respect. The goal to the thing to literally anybody. Yeah. It's super weird. It's a very strange thing. It's horrible to say to anyone. It's a very strange thing to say to your partner. Because saying that you're unattractive, it's like, what, the what? What are you doing?

Yeah, I think people people people people people people when they're in a relationship where it's like your relationship at its best can be a safe space where you guys can be unapologetically yourselves and really say anything to each other and I think the saying anything to each other people get confused like this guy of like, I'm just going to say whatever I want and I should be able to say whatever I want because you're my partner and you tolerate me. Right. That's not the case and you should still completely respect that person. No he's super manipulative and shitty and it's crazy he didn't see this on Reddit. It sounds like he's on Reddit. He does sound like he's on Reddit. Yeah. I think he's on one of those tweets where it's like, did th. th. th.. And he was like, oh no. You're gonna have like eight eggs.

Oh no, it is time to manipulate my partner. All right, next story. Am I the asshole for telling my wife she's not famous? My wife, my wife, Meg Ryan, is. My wife, my wife, this wasana. Dennis Quaid? Yeah. What this was written by Dennis Quaid? Let's go.

I'm a 37-year-old man and my wife, Jane, who's 28. We've been together for five years and married for two. Our relationship was always good, but it's taken a downturn recently. When we got together, we had the same job, made similar amounts of money, and attended a lot of social events both separately and together. A year ago, Jane won a life-changing amount of money, in the millions, and quit her job to set up some charities, that help our local community. She's always been active in our community. She donates books to the library, volunteers for book groups, goes to community council, etc. But ever since setting up her charities, she spends a lot of time away from home and at events.

She always invites me, but I rarely go as they're long and boring, and frankly the amount of them she goes to is exhausting. She's now so well known in the community, we can't go out without someone talking to her on the street or recognizing her. I feel like I'm in a relationship with I the relationship their their I decided to confront her about it, and we had a massive argument, during which she said she enjoys talking to people in our community and hearing how she helped them.

I told her she's selfish, and throwing money at a small-ass town doesn't make her famous. She said she wasn't trying to be, and that I know how much the community in helping people means to her and why that I had gone too far. She's now staying with her aunt and won't talk to me. I wonder why? Sounds pretty famous to me, bro. Yeah, I mean, I mean, up until then, there's some things that are said in this of like, oh, I feel like, oh, I feelthink those are okay, those are fair things to be upset about.

But what you do is you talk to her and you go, hey, like, this relationship is tough for me and the way, the dynamic right now, it feels like you're far more concerned concerned with this aspect of your life than our relationship, what is your priority and like we should figure that out and and that's an honest conversation you have but he went a really petty route with it and he's not being honest with her about how he's feeling and... No he seemed rude about it. No it seems like he wants her to be smaller. Yeah I mean because like I I tend to like the the little things thin, like thin, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th we th we th we th we th we th we th we th we're th we're th we're th we're th we should tho, like, like, like, thi thi thi tho, and we should tho, and we should tho, and we should thi thi thi thi, we should thi, we thi, we tho, we tho, we tho, we th we th we th we th we th we th we th we th we th we th we th we th we th, we the the the the the the the they, we're, we're, we're, we're the the they, we're thi, thin, thin, thi. We're thin, and like, and like, thin, we should thin, and like, thi. We're thi. We're th be smaller. Yeah. I mean, because like I tend to like read into the little things when it comes to these stories a lot, but like him starting the story off with his comfort level, which was them being at the same type of job, same type of income, same thing, and now she's blown up and she's doing all these things, and it doesn't, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it's, and it's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thrown. And, thrown, thrown, throwne. And, to, thi's, to, thi's, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. it doesn't, you know, maybe if they're not spending as much time together as they used to or there were things that were

directly affecting their relationship, so some of that would make sense, but it just sounds like he's annoyed at her success. And she's going to events and he says that they're exhausting. She has her own life and he's threatened by that. And declaring her not famous, and she was like, I wasn't trying to be. He wanted to hurt her feelings. And like, it's OK. It's like just, I'm reading a lot into that first setup of,

everything was fine when we were technically equals. And now that she's bigger than me, I'm intimidated by her. Yeah he's not explicitly because what I what I was trying to I think what I almost inferred at parts but I don't think it's the case is I was like oh do you just want to spend more time with her? Yeah but I don't know if that's that's not the entirethese things out, you know, he's 37, she's 28. I am saying with these Reddit stories, there's just typically a trend of like when a person's a lot older than the other person, there just always does seem to be like a controlling element. And he seems to be upset that he's not, like that she is now so much out of his control. And he can't always just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th seems th seems th seems to be upset that he's not, like, that she is now so much out of his control,

and he can't control her life. It sounds like he's got the perfect life. Because, I mean, he could have. He's got a rich ass wife. I think it is weird. It tends to be, like, obviously, those ages are very different points in their lives. So it's like, yeah, you're 37, of course, these parties are exhausting to you. You're like, you're at a different stage.

But when, and it's like, it just unfortunately serves that dynamic of he's dating someone so much younger than him, he had an idea of who she was. And now that she's not serving that picture, similar to the previous story, where it's like it's like it's like it's like, th th th and it's like, th and it's, and it's, and it's, and th and th and th and th and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th....... th.. th. th..... th. th, th.. th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, picture, similar to the previous story, where it's like, you're not part of the picture that I want. And since she has her own life that goes beyond him, if he's intimidated by that. And I will also, they've been together for five years, so she was 23 and he was 32, my personal thought, I'm 32, I couldn't, that would be so weird. That's a big junk.

That's so weird. I feel like if you're willing to marry someone at that age, first of all, first of all, don't, but like, or, you know, some people prefer to get married in earlier ages, but just be prepared for life changes and people to be growing in those times. 23 to 32, I mean, that is a lot to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi.ei. And, that's thi. And, thi. thi.to 32 I mean that is a lot of living between so much shit and like I know 23 year olds and I'm like they're cool like I have tons of friends were 23 23 but like alderrach him like but like as far as a relationship goes on that level I'm like dude there is so much that yeah I mean there is a lot to the, like, I think, I don't know, this might be a little, like, but like almost,

like, I kind of understand his feelings, like, you know, it's like, you know, my wife's like, our relationship has changed, which is hard, you know, you know, if you've gone through that, you know, if you've gone th a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. this, like, like, this, like, this, this, this, this, this, this, change, but like the way he's gone about it is like all wrong. Like it comes from, it seems like a very, because like you should be, there should be like some selfishness like a lot in a relationship, like you should be able to like ask your partner like, hey like I want to see more of you. Like, I want to see like that's a normal rational ask, but it's yeah, thinne. It's a, that's a that's a, th. th. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. that's a th. th. that's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thrown. thrown. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. theeeeeeeeeeee. their the. their the. to spend more time with him. It sounds like he went about this in the complete wrong, and it sounds like, you know, he's, he's, just a little bitter. Yeah, and it's also, it is also okay to go to your partner and go, hey, like, you have a lot of power now,

and like, you are this hugely influential person in this town, and I sometimes feel like, I feel like, I thi thi, I'm thi, I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, thi, thi, thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, thi, just, th............. just, th. just, th. just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. to, thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, just not good enough. And telling you that she's not famous is crazy. That's just an odd thing to say. Like doesn't even want, when we read that title, I thought she was like doing a lot of social media stuff and wanted to be famous. And I was like, oh, huh. And then it's different. It sometimes happens where, or some people, when like, literally donating like so much money to charity and is being celebrated for that, reasonably so, and his inner demons are crawling out and clearly like making her the enemy in this situation.

Some comments here, you're the asshole, easy case. Your title is wrong though. It should be, am I the asshole for being insecure over my rich wife helping her community. OP responded, I'm not insecure, I'm upset. 379 downvotes. Someone responded to that. Yep, upset that your wife is doing better than you. O.P. responded, no. No.

U.S. upset that she's never home and we barely spend time together. 315 down votes. So go with her to the events. OP. I do go to some, but they are very, very boring and not really my thing. 137 down votes. Just does not get it.

Grow up. You're the asshole. You are misplacing your frustration. The problem is not with what she does rather than she being far less available and present in your marriage. Instead of attacking the values of what she does, start communicating how deserted you feel in your marriage to her and try to see whether there is an iota of shared values and interest left that can keep your marriage together and don't question the

value of what she does. The town may be small yet she tries to help with her own money. This line of reasoning, undermining and ridiculing what she does will not do you any favors if you truly want her. Opie responded, thank you for your advice. H105 down votes. I love that the chat just... No, there's a certain point where it just becomes a, yeah. Yeah. You're not going to win. And he doesn't deserve a win. He sucks really bad. I hope she leaves him.

I hope he takes a long, hard look in the mirror. I don't think he's going to. Yeah. Not based on... Not based on those responses. Just, no. No, I'm not. It's that drill tweet where it's like, don't, don't put in the news. I'm not owned. I'm not owned. I'm not owned. Okay, here we go. Our last story. My future sister-in-law is legitimately stupid.

And I do not want my brother to marry her. Okay. How stupid. This came from off my chest. Okay. Okay. And it ended up on Am I the Devil? All of these ended up on Am I the Devil. My future's sister-in-law is legitimately stupid, and I do not want my brother to marry her. My future sister-in-law, who's 25, is breathtakingly stupid. And I cannot stand her, and I do not want her to be the mother of my future nieces and nephews. Our father lost his left leg below the knee in an accident

before my brother and I were born, and when she first came over to our house to meet me and my parents, she said, Oh wow, it's crazy how brother and O.P. didn't inherit that. We all laughed uncomfortably, thinking it was a bad joke. She didn't laugh.

Even after my brother explained it wasn't a genetic defect, it was an injury, she still thought there was a possibility that my brother or I would be born with a missing leg. She told us she believed in Santa until she was 16 and her parents had to break it to her and it broke her heart. You know the joke that the pea is stored in the balls? No. She thought that the pea is stored in the balls? No. She thought that was real. She asked my brother, how come pee didn't come out when he came during sex? She commented that she never sees pink lemons in the store.

She literally thought pink lemonade was made from pink lemons. She didn't realize Donald Trump, the actor and and Donald Trump, the president, were the same person. And speaking of Trump, she too tried to look at the solar eclipse without sunglasses, despite my brother pleading with her to keep them on. She thought blood diamonds meant they were made from blood, and we found out because she asked, how come they aren't red? This is Amelia Bedelia.

Yeah, that's good. She thought in order to play for a city's sports team, you had to be from that city. So it confused her when one of our players got traded. She asked, well, what other team do we have here? She didn't think platypuses were real. That's still up for debate. I've not seen one. one. one. That's one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. to to to to to one. theha. to theha. theha. thea. thea. thee one. thee one. thin. to that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the. to be the the the the one. thea. the the the the the theaaa. theaaaa. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that. that. thatses were real. That's still up for debate. I've not seen one. I've not seen one. She, oh, she once tried to correct me when I mentioned something being a hundred million dollars. She goes, um, don't you mean a billion? Because she didn't think a hundred

million was a real number. She thought it was 99 million and then 1 billion. She thinks the moon gives off light. I tried to tell her it's the reflection from the sun and she argued with me saying that couldn't be true because the sun was down behind the earth and if it was lighting the moon it would light up the entire world. She thought, oh fuck. Spence she, guys! Oh, fuck. I love her speak.

I love her so much. Yeah. Let's hear what you think after this one. She thought Obama did the I Have a Dream speech. Let's fucking go, dude. Let's fucking go, dude. I got nothing for that one. I could go on for days and I might edit this post as I remember more examples of her dumbass moments.

Okay. She's been with my brother since he was in college. She was not in college with him. They met at a music festival. She literally said she didn't want to go to college because it seemed super hard. I have, she cooked? She did cook there. She cooked.

I have such a hard time being around her. I do not understand what the fuck my brother sees in her. Do not get it. He's a software engineer making six figures, and she works as a hairdresser, so I see why she's with him. I want to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask him, I to ask him, I to ask him, I to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I to, I to, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th thi, I, I, I, I'm thi, thi, toooooooooooooooo, toooooo'.. too, I. too, I, I, th. th. th.. I want to ask him why he would want to marry such a fucking moron. Like it's embarrassing when she talks and he brings her around people he works with. I would be mortified if I was him. I asked my parents about having an intervention with him after he announced that he was proposing to her. And theyrible decision and severely affect my brother or when they have kids she could put them in harm's way? What could she possibly teach them? It's not a matter of

her being innocently stupid. She could have a real life consequences to being this dim-witted. Oh man. Um, she sounds like a dream. Obama, MLK, aside. She sounds awesome. She sounds like a blast to be around. She's constantly, you know, you're looking at things from a different perspective, and if she's nice. Yeah, and listen, like she's asking the questions and she's wanting to, she's learning. What if, what if they're getting pranked? What if the sister-in-law is actually really smart and she's just playing dumb?

It's just like a golden boy. Because the, the Obama I have a dream speech, that's, that's, that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's, that's, mean the pink lemons, guys. I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot. That doesn't sound crazy. Like, what makes it? What makes pink lemonade pink? What makes pink lemonade pink?

raspberries? Really? Or strawberries? I did not know that. I thought it was artificial. I just assumed it's fake. I just assume it's crazy. I did know that. That is true. I did. I did know that pink milk is strawberry milk. I think I think they need to be nicer to her because she's asking the questions and she's doing her best and this OPE is valid in being

concerned for the well-being of their brother's children but their brother at the end of the day is an adult and a smart one. And if that's his best friend, that's great. That's so, what a little colorful life they have. Are there any more? I want more examples so bad because that shit, she's, I mean it's like, it's like Peter Griffin level. Yeah. No, it's really funny.

Donald Trump, the president are two different people. That's awesome. Sounds like this. What a world she gets to live in? I think she lived a very sheltered life. Like this, this gives homeschool energy. Like big time. I relate to it.

I relate to some of these misconceptions, not the MLK Obama one. Sometimes when you grow up in a very sheltered or a very specific household, you don't learn a lot of common sense things. Or like sometimes, like, you know, if you have a lot of siblings, sometimes the siblings start raising each other and then not all the good things are taught and common sense kind of gets lost. And so like, it really is not her fault. You know, college is hard. She was right.

That's what I was gonna say. And expensive. You think I wanted to go? College is super hard. She was right on that one. I knew. I knew a girl similar to this in high school. And I always, I thought she didn't know what it meant, she would be like, what does that word mean? Like she, like that's the only way we can learn things.

I always appreciate people who are willing to ask a question even if it's going to make them look stupid. The only thing that I falter for is when she's like arguing with them. Like arguing about the sun and I'm like, if you don't know something, then I don't know, if you don't know, if you don't know, if you don't know, I don't know, I don't know, th th th th th th th th th thu, thu, thu, thu, thus, thu, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, th. th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that 't know. That's true. My friend was the valedictorian for like my arrival school and until he was in like eighth grade he thought you know how you have like hair bangs. He thought they were vangs. Yeah like with the V. Vangs on your head? Well that is a fun thing. Some really smart people are ridiculously stupid in arenas that you wouldn't realize. I feel like if this was a movie, what will end up happening is they'll be driving in a car together and it'll break down and she'll get out and be able to fix the car perfectly. It's like, oh, you're really smart in that arena.

Like, there's multiple areas of intelligence. Comments here. My roommate once dated a guy who said, women are so lucky. If you get stranded on a remote island without food, you can just drink your breast milk to survive. He thought we just lactated all the time, pregnant, nursing, or not. Someone said, being intelligent obviously isn't a partner priority when it comes to your brother. I would simply limit my time around her and any negative implications of their relationship isn't really your problem. You can't be more worried about someone else's future than they do. I guess you could have a conversation with your brother, but I think you need to start with hearing why he does want to marry her, then go from there. Lastly, someone said, if this was about 20 years ago, I'd be sure you were talking about my cousin. She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, more of a spoon, a blunt one, and she knows it. the, whose fault it is, whose fault it was anyhow,

don't do booze and drugs when pregnant. Made sure she didn't forget that she was born stupid. Here's the thing, though. She's one of the kindest, most loving, most caring people I know, and an absolutely best mom any kid could ask for her. Yeah, if you tell her a joke, it'll tell her a while to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to process to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to their a to to to to to to their a that she's a to that she's a that she's a to to to their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the true., true. true. true. true. true. too. true. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to to and need to talk about it, she's got a six sense about it and you'll literally feel her turning her high beams of empathy towards you until you feel better. Her husband of 20 plus years adores her.

Her kids love her to bits. She's never going to be the greatest conversationalist, but having her as your friend or family will enrich all of your lives. Yeah. I think the theme of a lot of these stories today is kind of like people getting bent out of shape out of things that are so far out of their control. Yeah. And they it's at the end of the day it's your feelings or your responsibility and like there's so much freedom and just letting go. Yeah. You're like, oh I don't need to care. Yeah it's a choice. Who do we th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the tho tho theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. thoooo. I'll theeeeee. I'll the. need to care. Yeah, it's a choice. Who do we think was the biggest devil of the day?

Ooh. We had a dance dance, dance revolution guy who yelled at a kid. Right. We had a tattoo jealousy person. Tattoo jealousy person was probably a big one person was probably. They sucked. Fire hydrant person probably is number one for story. Fire hydrant person. Yeah.

Crazy. Fire hydrant person probably is number one for me because they drove drunk. Yeah. They put people in the most danger. We had vacuuming up the ashes. Oh, placing it with dirt. Dude, all bangers. Pretty bad.

Faking paternity leave. And then, egg man, egg man. Guy who's jealous about his rich wife. And then finally, a person who's complaining about stupid sister-in-law. God, we should get them in a room together. Yeah. I love this. They'll really cook up something. Oh yeah, that's so fun. They're all pretty bad.

Yeah, I'd say then the ashes guy. Those two, obviously like without drinking and driving and like fundamental horrible things aside, it's ashes or tattoos for me because ashes was crazy. That was like, you buried a body, bro. I think Eggman is probably number one asshole. Because a lot of these other people, I think are just really dumb. Yeah. Even the ashes guy, I'm like, that was really stupid. You didn't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus, thi, thus, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. th............................................................................................................... really stupid. Yeah, you didn't set out to hurt. Like, take a second.

You didn't set out to hurt your wife, but you were really dumb and you didn't think about it. Yeah. Yeah, that one was a little, that was the only one that felt like a little malicious. Yeah. Thank you both for joining me. This has been a blast reading about absolutely. people. And thank you all for watching and let us know what other themes and subredts you want us to cover and we'll see you next Saturday for more wild bullshit. You both are the angel. Am I the Pebble? I don't know what that means. I the Pebble?