Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - Updates Only w/ MacDoesIt | Reading Reddit Stories
Episode Date: October 5, 2024UPDATE! Mac is back. Go to https://Zocdoc.com/PITREDDIT and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today 0:00 Intro 0:45 My bf woke me up at 2am to make him dinner; I... made him leave instead https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1elm0kq/bf_31m_woke_me_34f_u[…]tm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1 12:23 I have the chance to date my old high school crush, but I'm engaged to my fiancé. What do I do? https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1c12kn4/i_25m_have_the_chance_to_date_my_old_hs_crush_25f/ 22:06 My recent boyfriend gave me a book to read. It's really, really bad https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1eiu1jg/my_25f_recent_boyfriend_37m_gave_me_a_book_to/ 35:27 My husband doesn't know that I know what he's up to https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1bmbsgo/my_husband_doesnt_know_that_i_know_what_hes_up_to/ 42:00 AITA for refusing to help a girl in gym unless she stops recording me? https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1em2bei/new_update_aita_for_refusing_to_help_a_girl_in/ SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ Mac Kahey ( @MacDoesIt ) // https://www.instagram.com/macdoesit/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Bailey Petracek Editor: Rock Coleman Director of Programming, Smosh Pit: Emily Rose Jacobson Associate Producer, Smosh Pit: Bailey Petracek Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Audio Mixer: Scott Neff A2 Utility: Dina Ramli Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Camera Operator: Cameron Dunbar Assistant Director: Amanda Barnes Director of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Ovsana Tsaturian Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia Operations PA: Katie Fink CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinating Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to Reddit Stories.
I'm Shane, and today's theme is the best.
It's updates.
All about the updates, and I am joined by Angela,
and returning once again, our guest, Mack Does It.
Hee-hee-hee!
Always good to have you here.
Excited to be here.
This is like your 50th episode, I feel like.
I think. I believe so. It feels like it.
Oh, my God.
First one with you, though. I know. I believe so. It feels like it. Oh my God. First one with you though.
I know, I'm so excited.
All right.
Well, all about the updates.
So every story, assume there's gonna be more.
I'm all about that face.
No travel?
See, I support, you know.
Let's get into this. Okay, this first one from best of Redditor updates.
Originally it was from off my chest.
This is a 34 year old woman,
boyfriend who's 31 woke me up at 2 a.m. to make him dinner.
I made him leave instead.
I am seriously never dating again.
No advice needed, just one event.
Throw away for the usual reasons.
So I became official with this guy a couple months ago.
He was sweet, kind, funny, gorgeous, the usual stuff.
Everything was fine.
We'd stay at each other's places,
have date nights, general relationship stuff.
In short, no red flags, a couple beige ones here and there,
but everyone has those.
Then came the other night.
He's currently having to pick up the slack at his job
due to multiple people quitting.
We decided to spend the weekend at my place,
as his roommates can be quite loud,
and he needed to concentrate on fixing a system at his job
so he can remotely work.
Friday is fine.
We stay in, and in between his work,
we do the usual couple stuff.
Saturday comes and something has gone wrong, and the stress is fine. We stay in and in between his work we do the usual couple stuff. Saturday comes and something has gone wrong and the stress is doubled.
So he isn't eating anything I make, which is fine.
I simply remind him there are leftovers in the fridge.
By 11 p.m. he's still working so I head to bed.
I am then startled awake by him at 2 a.m. shaking me, telling me he's hungry now.
Confused, I remind him about the leftovers
and turn over to go back to sleep,
but he gets grumpy and tells me
I need to make him something fresh now.
I'm honestly completely confused and so sleepy
while he rattles on about coconut shrimp or something.
Still half asleep, I just stare at him
as I try to work out what the fuck is happening.
I'm guessing my silence pissed him off
as he started having a go at me
for not doing my duty as his girlfriend.
That woke me up fully, and I told him
to get out of my house.
His attitude changed then, and he was apologizing.
But I just repeated myself,
and eventually he left the room.
I followed him, picked up his stuff, put it into a bag,
and once again told him to get out.
He looked like a deer in headlights.
He kept trying to say sorry and hug me,
and it was only when I threw his car keys into his arms
that he realized I was serious and left.
This was Sunday morning.
It's now Monday night and I still refuse to speak to him.
He's tried calling and texting,
but I'm honestly just annoyed and dumbfounded.
I know I'll have to speak to him at some point, but I don't want to. He's an idiot. If slash
when I do speak to him, I'll update. For now, I'm going to bed."
This is crazy.
Babe, wake up. I'm hungy. Babe, I'm hungy.
There's coconut shrimp in the fridge.
I don't want coconut shrimp.
I want fresh salmon, babes.
Wow.
You know what's insane is we've read another story
on this show about a guy bringing a cutting board.
Cutting board, I was like one of my first ones I think.
To his girlfriend in bed so that she can cut food.
But that was not because he thought she should do it,
it was because he couldn't do it.
He couldn't chop it.
This is like, he believes, I mean maybe,
is this guy drunk?
Did he say that?
You know, that's a, she did not say that.
I think she would know.
I think she would know and include if he was drunk.
Because that's the only understanding thing
I could give him.
Or so high.
I need help.
Yeah, but no.
I'm hungry.
No, and I don't think he is drunk
because he flipped to apologizing.
And he has work or whatever the fuck, right?
He has something important.
Yeah.
This just kind of falls in line with what we see so often,
which is dudes refusing to cook
and just needing a girlfriend or a wife to cook for them
and refusing to even heat up leftovers.
I'm amazed by it.
This is probably the farthest it's ever gone.
It's like so hard for me to...
That's why I think I keep picturing him drunk
because I cannot picture a grounded man being like,
get up, I can't do this by myself.
Like smartphones exist, Google exists,
you can follow a recipe.
Literally.
Like you can order Postmates via your frickin' Siri now.
Do anything.
I've seen it all.
With your frickin' Siri.
You kids.
And then he just goes, Siri, make me dinner.
He's like, can't, can't, dude.
He's like, what a bitch.
A couple comments here.
A 31-year-old man shakes his sleeping girlfriend awake
because he wants fresh food in the middle of the night.
He's a man-child and not a thoughtful partner.
Good for you for tossing him out.
Baby boy should have acted like a grown-up
and ate the leftovers like you told him to.
Grow the fuck up.
Someone else said, the utter audacity of this man,
like he's your newborn baby needing a 2 a.m. feed
and coconut shrimp at that.
That's so much work at any time of day.
Lastly, someone said, wow, you are so lucky
he showed you who he is so early in the relationship.
Usually people try to hide their worst is so early in the relationship.
Usually people try to hide their worst
and unacceptable characteristics in the beginning.
Good for you for getting rid of that entitled
chauvinistic man-child.
Oh no. Let's see.
Is there an update?
Like a bad update where they...
I don't know if it's good or bad.
I'm trying to see how long they've been dating.
We got married.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so they became official a couple months ago.
But yeah, that comment's interesting
about people hiding who they are.
Yeah.
It makes me wonder how often people
are purposefully hiding this shit.
They know it's wrong.
Or it's just kinda like, I don't know. I think, or it's just kind of like, I don't know, it's.
I think, I feel like in the dating world,
people will probably develop habits of hiding who they are
because it's easier to hide it than change it.
And if you keep getting met with,
broken up with when something about you,
you know what I mean?
If you keep doing a behavior that someone's like,
I don't like this, and then they break up with you,
and it's harder for you to change it,
you just start to hide it in every relationship.
Just learn how to cook.
But also, yeah, just figure out the microwave.
He does say, she needs to, she's not doing her duties.
Yeah, that's the hard.
So this does come down to a legitimate belief that he has.
Exactly, that he's probably hiding.
Not just a behavior.
But that's what I'm saying, he's probably hiding that
because he's been told before that that's just
a really old-fashioned and bad way of thinking.
Okay, what are our predictions on this update?
They got married.
I wanna say they got married.
You think she's gonna get back with him?
I feel it.
Or I think he came crawling back,
asked for an apology, and she said okay,
and then he did something else stupid again.
I think he's gonna try to do some grand gesture.
Like he's gonna be like, I'm taking cooking classes.
Yeah.
And she's gonna still be like, no, fuck you.
Yeah.
Okay, let's.
And it's Bobby Flex.
He opened up one magazine of Bon Appetit.
Okay, this update comes the next day.
Okay.
So, holy sweet Jebus, that's a lot of notifications.
Thank you for your overwhelming support.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is stupid.
Also, the ones who said I should have just done it
or agreed with the man-child, thank you.
I needed a laugh today.
Onto the update.
He came to my job to talk and explain that his friends saw
a video of a woman being woken up to cook for her man and they decided to
test it out on their partners as a loyalty test so my initial judgment of
him being an idiot was correct. He was surprised when I broke up with him but
he was calm and accepting albeit sad.. Either way, that's over with. To answer a few concerns.
Nope, no drugs.
Just bad judgment.
No mental health concerns.
Yes, he's stressed, but it's surface stress that'll be fine once his work hires some new
people I'm sure.
Honestly, not my concern anymore.
Someone mentioned unconditional love.
The relationship was less than three months.
Chill out.
Seriously though, thank you for even taking the time
to read my sleepy ramblings.
I'm gonna buy myself a nice bottle of wine
once I've finished work as a thank you to myself
for not settling.
Until next time.
Okay, so he and his buddies saw a video
of a woman being woken up by their partner
and then cooking for them.
And they all decided to try it on their partners
as a loyalty test.
And he said that the next day.
Do we believe this?
He said that the next day.
Do we believe this?
It's not a good excuse.
I just, I can't believe how delusional so many dudes are.
Baby, it was a dare, it was a dare.
They double-dog dared me, I had to.
It was a prank, bro.
It was a challenge.
It was a video challenge. I'm surprised a challenge, it was a video challenge!
I'm surprised, like, if he got that response from her,
I am surprised he didn't go like,
I'm just messing with you. 100%.
That's why I don't buy it, like what you said,
because if she freaked out.
And he waited 24 hours to be like,
it was a joke, like, no.
He was cooking that up.
Yeah.
The only cooking he's doing.
Awesome.
We did see a friendship test in a different video
where a girl was getting married
and she told her friend she wanted her to wear white
to her wedding.
And then when she did wear white,
she freaked out on her and she's like,
that was a friendship test and you failed.
I think tests in general towards friends, loved ones,
I think are always dumb.
Like don't test your friends or people you love.
Tell them what you want or need and then communicate it.
That's crazy.
But yeah, I don't know if I believe him either.
This guy sucks.
He's just weird.
He's 31.
And again, not respecting what she's doing
in the current moment.
He wakes her up, not respecting that she's asleep,
and then goes to her work and he's like, let's talk now.
Yeah.
Just wait till she gets home and say your elaborate lie.
This would be really, this would be bad if the dude was 18.
He's 31.
That's a full grown ass man.
But is it?
No.
No.
No, it's effectively a baby in a mech suit, but. It's two toddlers in a trench coat.
Can you cook?
Yeah, do you need me to?
I'll leave the video in Ta-Aul.
Can you cook?
I learned to cook because I lived alone for a long time.
Can you? Yeah, I can cook because I lived alone for a long time.
Can you?
Yeah, I can cook.
I've learned how to cook since I was like 10, 12.
See, I didn't until I was older.
I understand being overwhelmed by it
or trying to be good at it is hard,
but cracking an egg and like...
Yeah, to be exceptional at cooking is really hard,
but I think to cook something good enough is pretty easy.
But most of these dudes, they refuse.
Yeah.
It's not a matter of like, it's never, it's never,
oh, I'm scared to cook or I'm not good.
It's, no, it's your duty to cook.
I don't do that.
So, they're dumb.
Anyways.
What was his duty?
Because she cooked, she also has a job, we've now just heard.
Well, that's furthermore an issue. What was he doing you know?
That's true. Did he have a job he had time to go to her work?
So he was probably hunting and gathering so she could cook the hunting
He shot an elk with yes, oh and he's like babe wake up make the eagle I shot whoops make the eagle I shot
I shot whoops make the eagle I shot
The eagle I was trying to think of the most old-fashioned shit I could think of That was the first thing that came to my brain. He's a terrible hunter. He shot an eagle right? Yeah. Yeah
No, that's okay
Our next one comes from best of editor updates and from just the advice subreddit.
So this is a 25 year old man.
I have the chance to date my old high school crush, a 25 year old woman, but I'm engaged
to my fiance, a 24 year old woman.
What do I do?
I love you.
Guys, what does he do?
Let me find the answer. Oh. Ha ha ha ha! I love you. Guys, what does he do?
Ha ha ha ha.
Let me find the answer.
Like what?
I had a crush on this girl, Carla, since middle school,
going into high school, but she never paid me no mind.
I left for the military and met Sarah,
who is a nurse and wants to become
a doctor nurse practitioner.
Sarah was the usual type of girl I dated.
I left the military to do contracting work
and moved back to my home state.
One day, while I was getting drinks at the bar,
Carla was my bartender.
She didn't recognize me, but when I told her my name,
she couldn't believe it.
She said she couldn't believe how much I changed.
I started becoming a regular
and eventually exchanged contact information
with her to catch up.
Throughout this time, she told me she has a crush on me,
even though she knows I have a fiance.
She said she likes how driven I am.
Now I'm conflicted.
She says that she will give me time
to think about what I wanna do.
My fiance and I are doing great,
but I feel like she's normally the type of woman
I always get.
With Carla, I never had the opportunity or thought that I would. I don't wanna hurt Sarah, but I feel like I's normally the type of woman I always get. With Carla, I never had the opportunity
or thought that I would.
I don't want to hurt Sarah,
but I feel like I would regret this forever
if I don't pursue it.
I hate this, that's it?
Oh my God.
Okay, can I say something kind of controversial?
You'll see where I'm going., you'll see where I'm going.
You're gonna see where I'm going.
If I was in this subreddit.
We know who your wife is.
I...
Yes.
If I was in this subreddit,
if I happen to come across this post,
I'm not someone who posts on Reddit.
I just read shit like this.
I'm like, that's crazy to move on.
But, and I'm curious if one of the commenters might do this.
I might tell him, be like, go for the bartender.
Because this woman needs to not be with this guy.
He's going to cheat on her eventually.
That's what I'm saying, like he's an absolute red flag.
He is going to cheat on his wife.
The way he's talking about his wife is so disrespectful.
Yeah, you're right.
The way he's like, oh yeah, she's the type I usually get.
But now I have an opportunity.
I wasn't even listening to it.
That's something in my eyes, yeah.
What he's saying is he's waiting for that opportunity
for the rest of his life.
You are so right.
What do you think?
You're upset.
You're visibly human.
Yeah, I find it so like.
He's a piece of shit.
Yeah, it's a piece of shit.
It took him just one girl who never paid him any attention.
And be like, oh, you're kind of cute.
And then suddenly he's like,
what if I don't want to get married?
Yeah. That's crazy.
Yeah.
He's like, well, something's wrong with her
because she didn't give me attention
and I have to fix that before I go down the aisle.
It's already in cheating territory
because he clearly became a regular to go and talk to her.
Right?
Like this is already at a stage
where if he told his wife what he's been doing,
she might be like, I'm calling off this marriage
because this is a red flag.
Like, it's already in that territory.
Did you already say that the girl was saying
she's waiting for what he's going to do?
She said, yeah, now I'm conflicted. She says that she will give me time to think about what I want to do? She said, yeah, now I'm conflicted.
She says that she will give me time
to think about what I wanna do.
She's also toxic.
She's part of, yeah, the situation.
She's toxic, but.
I also feel like, maybe it's like in media,
but I feel like the, like someone who it didn't work with,
like the person that's, what was it, the person that?
The one that got away.
The one that got away is so romanticized.
And sometimes it's like, he's like,
this is pretty romantic that it never really worked
and maybe there is something there.
Because in my head, it's like, sometimes I'm like,
oh, you know, like maybe that is.
I don't know, like just reading it,
I'm like, oh, despite how disrespectful this man is,
it's like, oh, maybe, yeah,
I guess you should check that out.
But that's like so over dramatized
and just like a fairy tale.
Well, if you knew someone back in middle school
and you haven't seen them in 10 years,
that's a different person now.
Exactly, you're not gonna be like,
you're the exact same you were during kickball.
Yeah, and fuck.
But also, I think it's very clear
what he's really talking about is looks.
He's not talking about like, oh yeah,
she's someone I gel with and like,
we get along so much better.
He's just like, oh, she's not the type.
It's, you're only talking about looks.
Yeah.
And so, once again.
And he's like giving himself permission to do it
because it didn't work before.
Yeah.
He's trying to make himself seem like
he's in the clear
for this for some reason.
I see I just want his fiance to find out.
Yeah.
Because I think even if he goes, oh, you know what?
Never mind.
That's enough already to be like, hey, you
should rethink this guy.
Is there an update?
There's an update then, right?
This is my favorite kind of shit.
Oh no.
Let's read some comments.
Oh no.
Here we go.
Starting to become a regular at the bar.
No, you're going to visit your crush.
Exchange numbers while in a relationship.
Cheating is a series of choices and it starts here.
You know, most people wait for these types of opportunities
when their high school crush or bully meets them
later in life and they get their glow up revenge,
double middle fingers in the air,
because now they look better and are doing better in life
than their high school counterpart.
Instead of doing that, you're thinking about trying to get
laid by someone who didn't give you the time of day
in high school while you have a fiance.
The joke is you'll end up with neither of them.
OP responded, what are you talking about?
In a later comment he said,
he said neither Carla or I are looking for sex.
She was clear that she wants a relationship.
So.
Okay, yeah, oh guys, don't worry.
Yeah, she doesn't want sex.
She just wants to hold hands.
Someone said by all means, break up so your fiance
can find someone worthy of her because you aren't.
Yeah.
Lastly, someone said, Sarah deserves someone
who actually loves her, not someone who is afraid
he is settling for her.
She deserves to know you're not fully committed to her.
This warrants a conversation with her to say the least.
Um, yeah. Like our producer put down, this is some Casa Amor nonsense. This warrants a conversation with her to say the least. Yeah.
Like our producer put down,
this is some Casa Amor nonsense.
Ah! That is so true.
Nice. Got a Love Island reference.
Yeah.
This is crazy, man.
And it's very true.
It's like he's gonna end up with neither.
He's messed up.
He's waiting for his opportunity to leave
because he's just waiting for someone that he deems
better than his fiance.
I do think this high school crush's behavior is weird too.
To be like, hey, I know you have a fiance,
but I have a crush on you,
and I'll give you some time to think about it.
I'm like.
I'm hoping the update is that he goes back to her
and she's like, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.
You're a psychopath and I'm gonna DM your wife.
I saw a video.
Yes!
It's a loyalty test.
Okay, update.
Here we go.
Here we go.
All right, less than a month later, he posts,
I broke her heart.
I love Sarah so much and I stupidly called off the wedding
to be with my old crush a few weeks ago.
Throughout the couple weeks,
Carla used me as a piggy bank.
That's all I fucking was to her.
I spoiled her, paid for her hair, nails, et cetera.
I gave her everything.
I found out she used the money I zelled her
to buy a ticket for some guy to come see her.
I'm sick to my stomach.
I reached out to Sarah but she feels betrayed
and said she doesn't wanna be sloppy seconds.
But she's not.
I love her and needed this to realize.
Shut up.
You know, there's-
Not you, him.
Shut up.
There's always the likelihood on Reddit that posts are fake.
I will say though, I know of instances
of something just like this happening.
It's amazing to me how much this does really happen in life
where someone cheats and they come back and they go,
I just needed this.
I mean, it's Casamore.
I needed this for my journey to realize actually
that I wanna be with you.
It happens a lot and it's shocking that people get
that delusional in those spaces.
Or like for some sick reason,
like we all like sometimes want what we can't have,
and sometimes what we have feels too safe for some reason.
Like I'm trying to like justify, not because I agree,
but like only just because.
You get too comfortable with what you have, and then you see something new, and you're like, oh, I want to touch it. I don't know, not because I agree, but like, only just because. You get too comfortable with what you have
and you see something new and you're like,
oh, I wanna touch it.
I don't know, but it's just like,
that's what I mean, if it didn't happen here,
it was gonna happen again.
Yeah.
And honestly, if he got back with Sarah,
he'll cheat on her again,
unless he really gets out of the mindset that he's in.
But he's gonna always do this in his current state.
Some comments, have you ever heard the phrase
play stupid games, win stupid prizes?
If your ex-fiance has any self-respect,
she won't take you back.
You've already discarded her, leave her alone.
Never heard that phrase.
Yeah, what is that?
No, it's really sick.
OP responded, I love her, I know I made a dumb choice,
but the few weeks without her reminded me
why I fell in love with her.
Tons of downvotes on that.
Someone said to that, if your crush hadn't used you
as a sugar daddy, would you still want her?
Yes, that's so true.
He's just pissed that he bought her nails
and she's not into him.
And she used that money to get somebody else.
That's why he's pissed.
That's why he wants to go back.
Yeah, yeah.
He fucked up.
Next story.
This one came from Relationships
and ended up on Best of Redditor updates.
This is an older one.
This is from 2016.
So we might have a lot of updates on this one.
We'll see.
I was in diapers then.
I was in diapers then.
I was in diapers then.
I was in diapers then.
I was in diapers then.
Sure, Angela.
Okay. I was in diapers then. Sure, Angela.
Okay.
God, it's a different time.
Dude, I was like 20, I was in diapers.
I was like such a kid.
Okay.
This is a 25-year-old woman.
My recent boyfriend, who's 37, gave me a book to read.
It's really, really bad.
Okay.
I feel like I've heard about this story.
I met my boyfriend in our master's program.
We became friends over this past year,
started dating and became serious shortly before
I left the state for a summer internship.
He gifted me a book to read, saying it was one he liked.
It's A Spell for Chameleon by Pierce Anthony,
a fantasy novel written several decades ago.
I knew nothing about it prior to reading and began laughing at it two pages in because
of how ridiculous the writing was, especially about women.
We Skyped after I got through the first chapter and I tried respectfully explaining my doubts
about the book.
He made a deal with me.
Knowing I'm a big Harry Potter fan, he promised to give the Harry Potter series a chance,
starting with Philosopher's Stone,
if I gave his book a chance and kept reading.
This rocked my world and I had a sudden burst of motivation.
I'm on chapter three and I cannot stand this book.
It is one of the most sexist and misogynistic texts
I have ever had to read,
and it honestly makes me feel like crap.
Not to mention, it's just me feel like crap not to mention
It's just poorly written all around painfully spoon-feeding obvious symbolism and
Excessively throwing in fantasy creatures slash concepts that do nothing for the plot
The protagonist is a complete dill hole that I could not care less about and as a reader
I don't want to follow him or anything in the fantasy world of Zen
But of course flat-out telling my boyfriend those thoughts about a book he enjoys would be hurtful,
and he has every right to have different preferences.
I am shocked that he would recommend such a book to me, though.
He is a respectful and educated man, treating me very well and identifying as a proud feminist.
This recommendation was out of left field.
Does he not remember how hurtful the author's writing on women is? Did he read it at a young age and has since grown? I can't
expect him to hold his end of the bargain and read Harry Potter, which is fine, especially
if it means not having to put myself through Pierce Anthony's excuse for writing ever again.
I like my boyfriend a lot. How do I respectfully tell him why I cannot invest in this book
anymore? It's important to me that he realizes the negative messages being suggested
But I want to do this without insulting his taste or making him feel at fault
Let's see
Okay, so they they haven't been dating for too long. Okay. It's within a year that they've been dating.
That's tough.
This is so unique.
Yeah, because it being a bad book,
for a second I was like, oh, this is interesting
because it's just like difference in like-
Reference.
Reference.
We're just talking about like this is really-
But now the book is just like wrong.
Yeah.
It sounds like.
Here, let's see.
There's, I think the comments have some like excerpts
from the book so we can get more of an idea.
Someone commented, the first thing to ask
is when he last read this book.
If like you said, he hasn't read it since adolescence,
he may not remember how truly awful it is.
If he's read it recently and still recommended it,
well, I'd be totally honest about how I felt about it,
but that's just me.
You can certainly just tell him you gave it a fair shake,
but it wasn't your cup of tea.
Someone said, he's a 37-year-old guy
in a relationship with a much younger woman,
12 years younger, to be precise,
recommending a book about a 25-year-old guy
who acts like he's 12.
I wonder if these two things are related.
In the comments, OP explained why the book is horrible.
All right, here's example number one.
Here's an excerpt from the book.
Here we go.
I like beautiful girls, he said,
and I like smart girls, but I don't trust the combination.
I'd settle for an ordinary girl,
except she'd get dull after a while.
Sometimes I wanna talk with someone intelligent,
and sometimes I want to, he broke off.
Her mind was like that of a child.
It wasn't really right to impose such concepts on her.
Example number two.
That's the point, he said.
I like variety.
I would have trouble living with a stupid girl all the time,
but you aren't stupid all the time.
Ugliness is no good for all the time,
but you aren't ugly all the time either.
You are variety.
And that is what I crave for the long-term relationship
and what no other girl can provide.
Example number three, all women are the same inside.
They differ only in appearance and talent.
They all use men.
Example number four.
Please read the ugly one again.
That was the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life.
Number two is so good.
Please read it again and I wanna dance to it.
Okay, example number two, the remix.
That's the point, he said.
I like variety.
I would have trouble living with a stupid girl all the time,
but you aren't stupid all the time.
Ugliness is no good for all the time,
but you aren't ugly all the time either.
You are variety.
And that is what I crave for the long-term relationship
and what no other girl can provide.
He only wants you to be ugly for like a few days of the week.
Well, honey, then he wants some variety, you know?
Ugly and pretty, and then ugly, pretty,
and then smart sometimes.
That shit's so funny.
Number four gets to where it's like,
oh, this thing happens in chapter three,
and it's like, okay.
Should you say it, we just bleep it out,
and then we all just go.
Do you want me to, example number four,
that whole rape trial in chapter three.
Yep, yeah, exactly.
Oh. Okay.
I thought it'd be funny.
No.
Nevermind. No, okay, maybe.
The less of the variety one.
Yeah, when he talked stupid with dumb words,
it was funny.
Example number five.
Other girls managed to enhance their appearance
by cosmetics or padding or specialized spells,
but besides Sabrina, all other females
looked somewhat artificial.
She was no enemy.
This was the page two example I mentioned.
Example number six.
There was much more of her he longed to see and to touch,
but that could come only after marriage.
She was that sort of girl, and it was part of her appeal.
The girls who had it didn't need to put it on casual display.
Page number three.
Whew.
What do you do when you're reading this book?
Oh my God.
This is horrendous, dude.
This is really bad stuff.
And what sucks is like,
I mean, I'm inferring from these excerpts,
is like, I don't think this,
I know this character's not like the villain.
You know how some books are about like,
oh, this is to showcase a bad narrator.
Yeah, this is like a holding caulfield.
They're the bad guy,
and you're learning about the bad guy.
I think this guy's the hero of this movie.
The hero, and he wants a stupid girl that's smart sometimes,
but then pretty, but then also ugly on some days.
I want variety.
I'm imagining him as Edward Cullen, but just like worse.
Smart, but pretty, too much is insane.
I mean, I love reading, I love books.
You should read it.
No, no, I've read enough.
I think I've got it.
Is it crazy to say this is enough of a red flag
where I'd be like, you should probably go.
I think I'd ask, cause.
When did you read this book?
I'd be like, give me all the information
while you pack your bags.
Because like, I just need to know more.
Like, what is he gonna say, this was a challenge?
Like, what is he gonna say?
This was a test.
An honesty test, and I wanted you to tell me
that it was really bad, because it is really bad.
I thought I was gonna relate to this story,
because I remember my ex-boyfriend thought
I was kind of icky that I would watch Jersey Shore
before bed every night.
And he was like, I kind of hate that.
And I was like, well, I love it.
And I was like, oh, I relate to this.
Different types of media.
So different.
It's different too, because we don't know
this guy's view on this book,
because with reality shows, it's like, oh, I'm watching this mess that I know is a mess.
But some people like to read crappy shit.
I went through a bad romance novel phase.
Totally fine.
Enjoying something that isn't written well is one thing.
It's that it's such a weird POV.
Arrogant and rude and ignorant and bad.
It's just making sure, hey, you don't. Weird POV. Arrogant and rude and ignorant and bad.
It's just making sure like, hey, like, you don't...
Think that.
What do you like about this book?
And this is a fantasy book, right?
It's a fantasy book.
It's like a lot of fantasy books, especially back in the day were extremely misogynistic.
Oh, yeah.
Not surprised. How old is this book, do you know?
She said it's decades old.
Okay.
So it's, yeah, maybe from the 80s or something, but like.
Yeah, maybe he's like, I just loved the book cover.
Like the book cover.
It's like, oh, I haven't read it.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Okay, update.
And it came three days later.
The post was locked shortly after I put it up,
so I wasn't able to comment back to most of you.
I went through every comment thoroughly
and took them all into consideration.
Thank you for all your thoughts.
We Skyped the other night and the topic came up.
I started by saying I liked him a lot
and really do appreciate how much he's willing
to share with me.
He caught on to where I was going with this
and started laughing.
Then I started laughing and I realized how silly small
of a thing this all was.
I guess I didn't want to risk hurting his feelings.
When the reason why I didn't like the book came up, I explained, and he totally understood.
It's been at least a decade since he's read the book, and he can see where I would feel
uncomfortable.
He will still consider reading the first Harry Potter book since I gave his book a chance.
And being a single dad, his kids also like the series, so it would be a chance for him
to connect more with them.
I ended by saying that I hope this doesn't discourage him
from sharing more things he likes.
If anything, it encourages me to find more
that you'll appreciate.
Cue heart flutters.
So that's where that one ends.
Update, August 3rd, 2024.
Eight years later.
Shut the fuck up.
I knew I saw this post the other day.
I was like, wait, okay.
So that was 2016.
She's like, ha ha.
He's like, oh, I read that a decade ago.
Whatever, blah, blah, blah.
Now here we go.
Cool, Heart Plutters.
Eight years later.
It's Joe Rogan.
Holy shit, I've never seen an update from eight years.
This is a cream of the crop update.
Oh no, okay, predictions.
Are they married?
They gotta be married.
Yeah, probably, if it's been eight years, yeah.
They're married, they might have kids.
Eight years, so much happens.
Is he reading them this book?
Oh no.
She was 25 and he was 37 back in 2016.
So she's now 33 and he's 45.
Oh no.
I fear this man at 45.
Here we go.
To go back to a post that you posted eight years ago,
shit has to be so nuts that you go, I just remembered that I wrote about this eight years ago. Shit has to be so nuts that you go,
I just remembered that I wrote about this eight years ago.
And she's like, I'm gonna go blow up the internet.
Hi, I would reply to this under the original username,
but it got locked a little over a year ago.
Reddit banned me for sharing
a mayor's office contact information, LOL.
Damn, okay.
And I created this one shortly after.
Okay, early.
All right, you do you.
It's hilarious this post is being shared
because it's from such a different time in my life.
Your instincts are right.
This relationship only lasted a monthish after this post.
Okay.
I took an opportunity to live and study abroad
for a few months and it was clear
that he didn't want anything that deep.
Dodged any conversation that required vulnerability,
didn't like that I wasn't always 100% perky, et cetera.
I also had a rough breakup before this
and wasn't making the best judgment calls
when it came to dating.
I could have caught a few more things about him
that give similar concerns now
as this book recommendation then.
So I called it off.
Oh my God.
Then he suddenly wanted to make it work
and kept it up for over a year after the breakup.
We weren't even together that long.
He would text me as if we never ended
and I would shut it down.
He eventually stopped,
but I still get occasional notifications on LinkedIn
that he viewed my profile.
Oof.
I'm now happily married to someone my age,
not knocking appropriate relationships with an age gap.
I'm good friends with a couple who are 12 years apart,
but I dodged a bullet, folks.
Thanks for giving me a good laugh with this flashback.
Oh, so this must have picked up speed on the internet
or gotten viral.
Yeah, I guess so.
And she must have just been like,
oh, let me comment and say that I actually
have a moment with him. Yeah, must have. Well, I guess so. And she must have just been like, oh, let me comment and say that I actually went with him.
Yeah, must have.
Well, good for her.
That's the best news we could have gotten.
Yeah.
Damn.
Still stalking her LinkedIn.
Still stalking that LinkedIn.
Every once in a while he's like.
Eight years later, still peeping at it.
Okay.
Wow.
Eight years. Nextof. Wow.
8 years.
Next story.
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This next story comes from the marriage subreddit
and best reddit updates.
My husband doesn't know that I know what he's up to.
Ooh.
Sounds like a Tyler Perry movie.
Yeah, on Friday night we're gonna go see
my husband doesn't know that I'm up to,
that he knows that I'm up to.
You wanna come?
Is that the sequel to My Husband Doesn't Know What I Know?
No, it's My Husband, no he knows that I don't know.
My Husband Doesn't Know What He's Up To, got it, okay.
This is a 33 year old woman, my husband who's 34,
and I had our first baby back in June of last year.
My husband's aunt gifted our son
a lovely chunky knitted blanket.
The blanket is so soft and I have made multiple comments
about how I would like to find a full size blanket just like. The blanket is so soft and I have made multiple comments about how I would like to find a full-size blanket
just like it because it is so cozy
and I'm kind of jealous of my baby.
Well, this past weekend, my husband snuck off to the store.
He refused to tell me where he was going and why,
but I later found a plastic bag
with the logo of a local crafting store.
That evening, my husband stated
that he would like to have an hour of alone time every night
after our son goes to sleep. He stressed that he would not like to be disturbed, but if I needed him then I could call slash text him.
I agreed to this because we are both adjusting to having to have very little me time since the birth of our son.
Last night during his alone time our son started crying.
I checked the baby monitor and saw that he had simply lost his pacifier and was going back to sleep.
However, the baby monitor also shows part of had simply lost his pacifier and was going back to sleep.
However, the baby monitor also shows part of our son's room,
not just his crib.
In the corner of his room, I saw my husband sitting
on the floor with a bunch of chunky yarn in front of him.
I turned the volume up and heard that he was watching
a YouTube video on how to finger-knit.
This sweet man is making me a blanket.
He absolutely loves surprising me,
but is terrible at keeping secrets.
I just know that he's going to slip up
and accidentally mention something
about the blanket at some point.
I plan on acting clueless so that I will still be surprised
when he gives it to me.
I just love him so much and I'm so delighted
that he's learning a new skill
so I can have a custom blanket.
That's sweet.
I was expecting something so terrible.
Me too.
I know, I thought he was. Not in the kid's room, oh my God.
Me too.
Oh my God.
I still am, I'm like, update.
He made me a blanket, but he also is a pathogenist.
But he's cheating.
He made me a blanket, and then he was like,
now read this book.
Oh.
And cook me dinner.
And cook me dinner.
Okay, some comments.
Oh my God, the title makes this sound
like it could have been something else, but it's so cute.
Also, why do men seem to always forget
about the baby monitor?
Someone else said, thank you for this lovely post
and sweet story that is restoring some faith,
some of my faith in marriage and humanity today.
Please, please, please don't let me come back
in several weeks to an update that he used the blanket to pay off a gambling debt,
gave it to his best friend's ex for her birthday,
or made it into a furry suit for himself.
Reddit has been absolutely unhinged the past few months.
OP responded, if he managed to knit himself a furry suit,
I wouldn't even be mad.
I'd be wildly impressed that he had such talent.
Okay.
I mean, I feel like the update is gonna be
that he gives her the blanket.
I hope.
I'm now nervous,
because I'm like, what update can we get?
Like we can get an update that like,
he got really mad that she knew or something.
Like I, like.
Yeah, and then he leaves her.
He burns the blanket.
I can't think of anything besides like,
yeah, she got the blanket.
What if he died? I can't think of anything besides like, yeah, she got the blanket.
What if he died?
From knitting. And she comes back years.
From knitting.
He's been finger knitting
and he accidentally stabbed himself with his finger.
And he died via his own finger.
I didn't realize, you can make a whole blanket
through just that?
I guess so. I mean, this one looks like you did that. Oh blanket through just that? I guess so.
I mean, this one looks like you did that.
Oh, I guess that's true.
Oh, if it's probably like, I wonder if it is.
Like a big ass yarn.
Yarn like that, you probably have to use your hands.
You can't, like what?
No, they have big knitting needles.
Gigantic.
They have, no, thick ones.
Whoa. Thick, guys.
Update, less than a month later.
My sweet husband broke.
He kept on mentioning that he was working
on a surprise for me.
I would occasionally ask what this mysterious project was,
and he would get a cheeky smile and say,
I can't tell you.
That eventually evolved into him repeatedly telling me
that keeping the surprise was really hard,
and he wanted to just tell me.
I kept saying, no, you've kept it a surprise for this long,
you can keep going.
But one day after dinner,
he decided he couldn't keep it in anymore.
He showed it to me.
It was only about a fourth done, but it was lovely.
The yarn was really soft and was my favorite color.
I could tell he had taken this time
because of the consistency of all the loops.
Even unfinished, it was perfect.
He told me that he kept moving it around
to different hiding spots, but since our house
is very small, it was only a matter of time
before I accidentally found it.
He said he had run out of yarn
and asked if I wanted to pick out another color to add to it.
I said yes, and we made a little date out of it.
We grabbed lunch and then walked around the craft store
before I picked out a complimentary color
to the one he chose.
He hasn't had much time to work on it the last few days,
but he assured me it will be finished by my birthday.
Sorry, can I pitch something?
He hasn't had a lot of time to finish it
the last couple days, because he's cheating on me.
But he's cheating.
He went to a bar and he met his high school crush.
But he's gonna get to it, and he's the sweetest.
This is just so awesome, I'm waiting for something.
I'm waiting for a pin drop or something. I'll post a picture of the blanket when it This is just so awesome, I'm waiting for something. I'm waiting for like a pin drop or something.
I'll post a picture of the blanket when it's finished.
For now, I am wildly impressed with how long
he kept it a secret and I'm so excited
to have my first ever handmade blanket.
That's so sweet.
I like knowing, so I know this episode,
a lot of the stories were sourced by Emily
and I can just picture Emily reading this
and be like, no.
Yeah. Did you hear the news? The stories were sourced by Emily. And I can just picture Emily reading this and be like, no.
Did you hear the news? Did you hear the news?
He made that blanket.
Yeah.
She goes, well did y'all read the one about the blanket?
Did y'all read it?
Yeah.
Did you guys read the story about the blanket?
Oh, it's so cute.
Yeah.
And we're like, yeah, we were waiting for him
to like cheat on his wife or something.
I'm so messed up.
There's definitely a part of my brain
after doing this show for so long
that's like, okay, so nothing bad happened.
That's good.
So they were looking for a complimentary color.
That's good.
Okay, so then what happened after?
Cool, that's awesome.
That's great.
No, that's very sweet.
All right, next story.
Okay, this comes from Am I the Asshole.
Oh no.
Let's get real.
Our favorite.
Let's buckle up.
Let's take the bumpers off.
Am I the asshole for refusing to help a girl in the gym
unless she stops recording me?
Okay. Okay.
I think I acted rudely with a girl in the gym
and wanted to get opinions on if I was the asshole
in this situation.
I, a 41 year old man, go to the gym early in the morning
around 5.30 a.m.
There are generally very few people
that come to the gym at that time.
There is a girl, early 20s, that also comes to the gym
at the same time.
We always say hello to each other
and have small talk between our sets.
She comes in early because the gym is empty
and she likes to record herself working out
as she wants to be a fitness influencer or something.
She seems dedicated and we have known each other for at least a year.
This morning as I was working out she came to me and asked for help.
She was very excited and told me that she wanted to go for a personal record on her
barbell squat.
She asked me if I could spot her as she was not confident if she would be able to do it.
I said okay, as this is not the most uncommon thing.
For people who are unfamiliar,
this is an exercise where you carry a barbell
with weights on your back and perform a squat.
The spotter has to stand behind the person
and support the person in case they fail to get up.
As she was getting ready, I saw her phone in the corner
and asked if I could be off camera
or if she could stop recording.
She said she really wanted to record herself doing it
and I will look good on camera.
I told her that I really do not want to be on camera
as my wife or coworkers may watch the video
if she posted online and that may not look good for me.
Another reason that I did not tell her
was that she was wearing a very revealing outfit,
small sports bra and tight shorts,
and I really did not feel comfortable being recorded standing behind
her.
She promised me that she would record it for herself and not post the video.
However, I just did not want to be recorded.
I told her that I really feel uncomfortable and if she waits for 30 minutes, one of the
trainers may be able to help her.
She became really upset and asked me why I'm making the situation weird. She accused me of sexualizing her.
She asked me if she was a man, would I have done it?
I felt she had a point, as I have done it for other people.
I told her that I would be okay doing it,
but I just don't want to be recorded doing it.
She again went on a rant about me body shaming her
and me being uncomfortable with her perfectly fine outfit.
I felt bad that I upset her
as she was just trying to work out.
I have also asked people to spot me in the past,
and people always helped.
However, I just did not want to be recorded.
Am I the asshole to refuse to spot her
because she was recording it?
I don't want her to feel that it was because of her clothes
or because she is a girl.
However, as a married man,
I need to observe some boundaries
and really don't want to be recorded in that way
with a girl half my age.
I am also worried that she recorded our whole conversation
and may post it online.
I do not know what I should do in this situation
and I'm a bit worried.
Mm.
We don't have a verdict on this
because this post was removed before the verdict was rendered.
T.
But, I mean, my thought on this is like,
you have the right to say no.
You just have the right to say no.
You know?
And it's not like he's, I don't know.
I mean, he's just like, hey, I just don't want to be recorded.
I mean, I feel like, especially in these past few years,
we've created a culture where people just feel like it's completely fine
to record random strangers at all times,
or post them online without their consent.
And I find that very weird, but yeah, it's okay to say no.
And I feel like we need to bring that back.
It's so true, because cameras are just, everyone has one.
So it has become so normalized to just be filming shit
all the time and to just expect people to be okay
with being filmed, especially with the idea
of it being filmed and posted online.
I wish he kept it to himself, the specifics.
Yeah.
Because I could imagine, like,
because I am trying to think of like the dynamics of like,
oh, if that was a man and he was like,
not in a shirt, would that have been an,
or just like the fact that, the sexualizing part
that she claimed he was doing to her.
I wish he kept it to himself that he didn't want
to be on camera with her because of her body,
but I think I understand why she was just like,
oh my God, you're talking about my body.
Like the second he brings what she's wearing
into the conversation, it gets a little dicey
because it can look like he's blaming her
for wearing something that she's allowed to wear.
Totally.
But at the end of the day, it's his body
that he doesn't want filmed.
That's it.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I'm trying to figure out why she was so upset.
So I think it was him talking about what she's wearing
might have set her off.
Or made her feel inappropriate.
But he was just explaining why.
Right.
I totally, I see that.
I'm thinking like, some people just aren't as quick
with thinking through those things.
Exactly.
Because I'm like, if I was in his position
and I didn't feel comfortable, I may be like,
oh, you know, I probably shouldn't right now.
I can't or whatever.
At the same time, if I ask someone to spot me,
even if they're a friend and they say,
oh, I don't feel comfortable, I'm not gonna push.
Yeah, because you can also not feel comfortable
spotting someone.
Like, I think if someone was doing that
and it was their PR, I'd be like,
I don't know if I'd pick it up after you.
I one time had a guy ask me to spot him for squatting
and it's the weirdest way to spot someone.
It's just like the most,
cause you're literally like up behind them
as you both squat down at the same time.
And then it's just, it is weird.
I remember almost being like,
I don't know if I really know how to do it. Because it is an awkward situation.
Out of all the things you can spot people for.
Like spotting someone for bench press is fine.
You're just sitting there holding the bar.
But squad is like, you're kind of like up behind them.
But you're also taking responsibility
for the barbell if it doesn't.
You're literally, you kind of like,
but you don't grab the barbell,
you like grab from underneath their,
their armpits. Oh, to help them up.
Yeah, you're kinda like, you lift them up in a way.
Copy.
Especially if it's a lot of weight on the barbell,
cause you can't just grab 200, 300 pounds.
Yeah, no, no.
You can't.
Yeah, there you go.
But I also think I see, I can see a little bit
where she's just focused on weightlifting.
And she's like, oh, you see this as more
than what it just is, which is just,
I'm gonna do a squat and you're gonna spot me.
That's all this is.
And that's exactly what he's worried about,
is someone look, like he doesn't.
He's worried about the misinterpretation of other people.
Because he's like, we're weightlifters,
this is just weightlifting, but if my wife sees this
and stuff, it can look inappropriate to other people
and I'm nervous about that.
Yeah, I still just think he has,
you just have the right to say,
I don't wanna be on camera.
Or your no should be respected, it shouldn't need a why.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's see, some comments here.
Not the asshole, people who are pointing out the line
of how you think it would look inappropriate
if a coworker or wife saw you aren't familiar with lifting.
If she reached failure, it would absolutely look bad on you
because people don't understand what spotting
and having to assist with squats looks like.
OP said, that was exactly what went through my mind.
Plus, who knows what commentary someone can put
on top of those videos to make it go viral.
That's also true.
It is scary because when someone posts on social media,
they can turn it into more than what it is.
And it is also true, she started recording him
before she told him it could be recorded.
Maybe she assumed because he's there all the time with her
that he just knows she records everything.
But still, I don't know.
Because we've done things where we film things outside,
like as YouTubers it often happens.
I'm very, very self-conscious about,
oh I don't want to film people without their permission.
Like, it's such a, like,
I think it's such a vulnerable, sensitive thing
that to not take that seriously,
I think does make you an asshole in some way or another.
Someone says, I don't want to be filmed, and you push.
I just think it's always wrong.
100%, it's like a form of, weirdly,
like being online and posting pictures of people is like a form of like
intimacy that you need consent for, in my opinion.
Like just like emotional intimacy,
where it's like, oh you told me something and I'm not
gonna tell everyone.
Versus, I took a picture and you weren't okay with that,
I'm not gonna post it everywhere.
It's just crazy.
And she did say, something that I think is kinda icky
is she did say like, oh and you're gonna look good
on camera. She did say that. She's, and you're gonna look good on camera.
She did say that.
She's like, you're gonna look good in this.
It's like, okay.
Update.
Here we go.
19 days later,
I had posted on a different forum three weeks ago
about me refusing to help a girl in the gym
for spotting her barbell squat because she was recording us.
I did not think it would blow up so much
that my wife got this story on her TikTok.
What happened after was pretty unexpected
and my life is a bit absurd right now.
I was worried that she would post our conversation
about me refusing her help online
and show me as the bad guy.
I told my wife about the conversation
and she said that she has seen posts
where young girls do add nasty voiceovers
and make men my age look like creeps for views.
My wife told me that I should just complain
to the gym management about her for recording me
without my consent, just to get ahead of things.
When I went to the gym the next week, I saw her again.
I tried to keep my distance,
but she kept on smiling at me.
As I finished my sets, she came to me
and asked me if we could talk.
She wanted to apologize for her behavior
from the previous day and how it was wrong for her
to assume that I would be okay with her recording me.
It was a pleasant surprise as I was not expecting that.
I told her that it was okay
and I just don't like to be recorded in general.
She followed me outside and continued the conversation.
She asked me how long I have been working out
and if I could advise her on her form.
I told her that there are some really good personal trainers
in the gym I could recommend to her,
but she told me that she is fun employed
and cannot afford them.
She told me she will buy me a coffee
if I can give her some pointers.
Just another unemployed TikTok girly.
Is that worth it?
All right, this just got really weird.
This just entered a whole different territory.
Fun employed, never heard that before.
Okay.
At this point, I felt I was just being rude
and told her, sure, and we went to a nearby coffee shop.
Her name is Haley.
She graduated last year, moved back to her mom's house,
and is looking for a job.
She was very chubby last year
and wants to look like the TikTok fitness models
and is trying hard to get in shape.
We had a nice conversation
and I was able to help her with some of her questions.
She already knew my name
and asked me if my wife would be okay
if she follows me on Instagram.
I told her that the main purpose of that account
is for my wife to spy on my friends' lives,
so I generally don't use it.
She asked me if I use Snapchat
and I had to remind her that I am twice her age.
This is where it got crazy.
When I came home, I told my wife about what happened.
My wife loves her Reels and TikTok
and wanted to see if she, Hailey,
ever posted the video from the previous week.
I only knew that her first name was Hailey
and how she looked and told my wife about it.
When I came back from work in the evening,
my wife was already home and sitting on the sofa.
She was grinning ear to ear and told me
to immediately sit next to her.
Apparently, this girl has been posting about me
and calling me her gym crush for the last two months.
My face is blurred out in all the videos.
A lot of the videos were her sitting.
A lot of the videos were her sitting in her car every morning and making up completely
fictional romantic stories about our interactions.
Each video had like 100 plus likes, which my wife says is not a lot, but feels like
a lot.
She had posted some videos of us just passing each other and smiling, or our conversation
where I was telling her to stop recording, with a voiceover about how I approached her
in the gym and complimented her body. There was a video
from that morning about her coming to me while I was packing up with her saying
how I asked her out for a coffee. She is just making up fictional romantic
bullshit for getting likes and people were commenting and cheering for her.
There were also other videos of her working out and posing in the gym
locker room. My wife was laughing uncontrollably
about how big of a sucker I am
and how I am internet famous now.
I told her this needs to stop,
but my wife insisted that she is too invested
in the drama now and wants to see what happens next.
Me.
She said that, yeah.
She said that this girl is really young
and just trying to establish herself and get more followers.
Plus, she has not done anything inappropriate
and is not showing my face in the videos.
My wife just wants me to play along
and see what crazy Hailey does next."
Okay, she has done plenty of inappropriate stuff by now.
Let's be clear, this is inappropriate.
This is one of the things why I just,
I don't like TikTok that much.
A lot of people do this.
It's like filming people without consent,
creating narratives of people without their consent.
It's like this weird trend that's happening
that just keeps on going.
I'm like, this feels like a train wreck
that's like bound to crash.
It's why whenever, I mean, I'm more skeptical of TikTok
than I am of ghosts, right?
Because whenever someone's like,
yeah, this thing on TikTok, I'm like, did it happen?
Yeah, it's like, what, is it real?
The thing that people love to do on TikTok is,
you can just lie.
Say whatever you want.
It's actually the best way to go viral on TikTok.
Just make up a whole lie. Just lie.
You can just lie about all sorts of bullshit.
The majority of lies that I see are people just being like,
did you know that, and they give you a back?
Did you know that right now,
there are 50 crocodiles in your ears right now? And you'd be like, what? And then you go to work and you're like, did you know that, and they give you a bath. Did you know that right now there are 50 crocodiles in your ears right now?
And you'd be like, what?
And then you go to work and you're like,
do you guys know that there's 50 crocodiles in my ears?
And someone's like, no, that's not true.
I'm gonna say cockroaches.
Yeah.
Of course there's not crocodiles.
I'm gonna say cockroaches like a fucking loser.
But people also do this shit.
This is crazy.
And gym stuff, it does happen a lot
where people are just making up narratives
and be like, this crazy thing happened to me,
or this thing is going on.
And people just dive into it and it's really dangerous.
Sure, you might get some likes,
but you're really fucking up someone's life potentially,
and ultimately you're gonna fuck up your own.
But this is why I think reality TV is good
and should be its own little thing, I'm sorry.
But like this is why people like reality TV,
because it's real.
And when watching like a girl try to get her
gym crush's attention, we get addicted to it
because we're like, oh my gosh, did she get his attention?
And we believe it.
And because it's real and it's not fake.
And I think like we are are all dying to just see,
I don't know, just to feel and see real stuff.
That's why I like watching reality TV,
but that's why I think TikTok's really scary
because it can become.
Yeah, I will also say sort of a different thing.
This is really probably one of the best examples
I've ever seen of, if the roles were reversed,
we would then see how unbelievably inappropriate this is.
This is inappropriate behavior to be filming someone
in a public space and being like, this is my crush,
and here's my process of, and you're posting it publicly.
That is so creepy.
It's really.
But people are very comfortable, it's the new world.
Yeah.
Where this is, there's no,
there is online and real world
and it's one.
Yeah, the people who are doing it is one thing.
I think all of the numbers of us being attracted to it
is weird, but I fall for it.
Like real things happening, I'm like,
oh my God, oh my God.
Like that whole like who the hell did I marry thing
that was going on?
We were all like dying because it's true.
And we just get invested in shit
and we just, we then add to it like, it's like couch guy.
Yeah.
We all remember couch guy.
That shit blew the fuck up.
And it's like realistically,
we saw like a half a second of someone
and then we just were like, we all knew everything.
Couch guy, you mean the guy that walked in
on his girlfriend was surprising?
His girlfriend was surprising him, yeah.
On the couch, okay.
I just remember it just gets crazy
and we get like, we're so invested.
We get really invested.
I don't remember much about couch guy.
I just remember how big it was.
And I'm like, it was one video and we all,
we dissected it.
Yeah.
Some comments, does she not know you are married?
Where's the ring?
It seems scummy of her if she does know.
OP responded, yes, she knows I'm married.
I wear my ring in the gym
and I also talk about my wife all the time to her.
I also feel it's a bit weird for a 22 year old person
to make up stories.
My wife feels she is just using me as an NPC in her fiction
to gain more viewers and create drama.
We discussed it and she told me about how some girls
just make up stories about bad first dates on TikTok
as it gets them a lot of views.
My wife feels it's weird,
but I need to see the humor in this situation.
At least it's entertaining
and she wants to know where her story goes next.
Someone said, what are the coffee discussions like?
It seems weird for her to do that
if it was just for TikTok attention.
It's easier for her to make stuff up.
OP said, the coffee discussions are very fitness oriented
and she genuinely has legit questions.
We do discuss stuff about our lives, mostly hers,
and she shares her struggles in getting a job
and life in general for a Gen Z person.
However, she has never said anything inappropriate.
I feel she must've had some footage of me passing her
and smiling and greeting her and just used that
in her edits.
I mean, in this situation, I feel like the best thing to do
is to distance yourself from this person.
Like try to, yeah, new gym or try to go to different time.
Like, or I don't know, just being like, or being like,
hey, maybe even being like, hey,
my wife found your TikTok page and like knows
you're filming me and creating this narrative
that we both know is not true.
Please stop.
Final update.
This is a month after the original post.
So probably a couple of weeks later.
I wrote a post about a month ago regarding Hailey,
a girl at my gym asking me to spot her
and me refusing to do it because she was recording me.
The post blew up and I wrote an update where I told my wife
and she found out that Hailey was just making up
fictional stories about me being her gym crush for likes.
My wife loves her TikTok drama
and asked me to continue as it is
as she found Hailey's posts harmless and very amusing.
Those posts blew up and the last week has been crazy.
First of all, all you guys are assholes.
There were thousands of comments on my posts
and not one of you told me that these Reddit posts
are posted on TikTok.
There were a few people who did dramatic readings
of my post on TikTok last week
and millions of people saw it, one of them being my wife.
Also bad news, they end up on YouTube too.
Oh!
Oh!
Oops!
Sorry, man.
It's public.
No one is safe!
I thought I was just venting here in anonymity
about Haley and my wife.
On Saturday morning, my wife came to me
and asked me if I posted my story on Reddit.
I asked her how she knows, because she never uses Reddit.
She showed me a person doing a dramatic reading of the story.
She was just giddy and asked me if it was really me posting the story.
I told her yes and she just lost it.
She was just laughing at how I was being so dramatic talking about a very funny situation.
Moreover, most of the TikTok commenters were cheering for my wife
and I have never seen my wife being so happy since our wedding.
We had a bunch of my friends invited for a barbecue party that evening
and my wife was also telling me about my Reddit post
and showing them the TikTok.
At this point, multiple channels had posted it.
Everyone was making fun of Hailey's posts and teasing me.
My friends even enacted what spotting a barbell squat
looks like for their wives
and what happens when the person squatting fails.
I really started feeling bad for Hailey
as everyone was just making fun of her and her videos.
I felt that we had taken things too far
and she did not deserve this kind of ridicule.
I told my wife that night that I'm going to tell Haley
that we know about her videos the next time we meet
as I feel we are just being mean to her at this point.
My wife again started grinning
and showed me the TikTok comments.
Apparently a lot of people had already started snooping
around TikTok and found a bunch of Haley's posting
about their gym crush and my Hailey was one of them.
Hailey had not responded to any of the comments
but had promptly deleted all her recent videos.
I was horrified as a lot of people
were accusing her of being a home wrecker
and to stay away from married men.
I felt so embarrassed that I just felt
like I wanted to bury my face and disappear.
All I wanted was quick feedback on Reddit
and never meant for all this to happen. As days went on, more and more people like I wanted to bury my face and disappear. All I wanted was quick feedback on Reddit
and never meant for all this to happen.
As days went on, more and more people viewed the video
and Hailey was still getting a lot of comments.
My wife told me last night
that almost five million people saw those videos.
I really did not want to face Hailey anymore
and could not get myself to go to the gym
for the last two days.
Yesterday evening, Hailey messaged me
and asked me if I still planned to have coffee with her today.
And my wife told me to just talk to her
as she might also be feeling bad.
My wife felt Haley was just doing childish things
because she's a child, and I should apologize to her
for causing her all this stress.
I went to the gym today, and to say that things
were awkward between us at the start was an understatement.
After my workout was done,
Haley and I walked to a coffee shop nearby and had a chat.
Before I could apologize to her,
she started profusely apologizing to me for
posting inappropriate posts about me on TikTok.
She said that she was just having fun,
and it was like a joke between all her friends.
She told me that only her friends and family follow her,
and she was just making up fun stories to entertain them.
She didn't mean for it to blow up,
and for so many people to see them.
She told me that she woke up this weekend
and suddenly her TikTok had hundreds of views,
likes and messages.
She was confused and checked
and everyone was commenting on her videos
calling her a home wrecker and crazy Hailey.
She realized that I had posted a Reddit story
because of some comments and immediately felt embarrassed
because she learned that my wife and I knew about her posting stuff about me.
She deleted all her recent videos,
but people seemed to be finding her somehow and messaging her on her older posts.
Also, her friends messaged her after they saw what was happening and she had to explain to her mom that she was not dating a
married man. I also apologized to her and told her I did not know that Reddit posts blew up on TikTok and was just worried I offended her when I did not spot her the other day.
She was surprised that I did not know that about TikTok as it seems to be fairly common.
I told her that my wife found her content funny and so she asked me not to tell her.
My wife felt she was talented and working so hard on her fitness to be an influencer.
At the end of the day, we just laughed about the situation. She told me that she always wanted to know how it would be to be internet famous and
enjoyed her 15 minutes of fame.
Seems that things are going back to normal and she has promised she will find another
Jim Crush and we will continue being friends.
Finally, I just wanted to ask everyone to not go and find Hailey on TikTok and let her
be.
Please do not harass any Haileys on the internet because of me.
I'm not going to disclose who the real one is,
so just stop harassing all the Haley's.
They are not homewreckers and just young kids.
Leave the Haley's alone.
Leave them. Leave the Haley's alone, guys.
Yeah, maybe this is a good example at like change the name
before you talk about anybody or something.
That is true, that is true.
I typically assume on Am I the Asshole post
that the names are changed,
but he must not have done that.
In regards to what she said,
I'm a little skeptical of what she said,
where she was like, it was all just a joke,
and it was just for my friends and family.
I'm like, then why wasn't your account private?
Private, but that's, I think, that,
depending on when that happened,
I think that's like pre-TikTok knowledge,
because like, it's, or not pre,
but I think like, I think we're still understanding,
and now people really get it,
that you don't need a following to go viral on TikTok.
Like I think for other, like you,
that's how the algorithm works,
is that like sometimes a really small hole
in the wall will blow up.
And I think people know that now and don't just.
I mean, this is from like a month ago, this post.
Because like, I don't know, if you post anything
and you're not a private account,
you have to know that other people are gonna see it.
Because TikTok will serve you things
that people you don't know.
I've said it before,
if you have a public account on anything,
you are in the entertainment industry. And if you post things have a public account on anything, you are in the entertainment industry.
And if you post things on a public account on the internet,
you are doing entertainment,
whether you think it's entertainment or not.
Because people might find it entertaining
and it might blow up.
And the amount of times you see people go,
whoa, I was not expecting this to blow up.
It's like every single time it happens,
it's just like, well, man, that's part of how the internet works. It's like you don't have to expecting this to blow up. It's like every single time it happens, it's just like, well, man,
that's part of how the internet works.
It's like you don't have to expect something to blow up,
but you do have to expect something to not be private.
Yes.
So it's like, if you want to write fan fiction
about your Jim Crush, lock it down,
but don't post his, yeah.
Yeah, no, I mean.
And that goes for him talking about her too.
Totally.
Because it's weird about this story,
how it kind of happened both ways, where he then started talking about her too. Totally. Because it's weird about this story, how it kind of happened both ways,
where he then started talking about her and how he felt,
and that exposed her too, for like, it kind of both happened.
It's hard for me to kind of like,
put myself in their shoes because we work in this industry
where like we are so in like posting things
and it gets views and you know like nothing is private, at least in not
feeling like anything you post online is private, to be someone who hardly has social media,
who has literally no following, because you're not doing that.
I can understand how you might underestimate the internet, because for me it's such common
knowledge but I'm like for this guy and for her maybe, they're just not thinking that
way.
They don't realize until it does happen to you.
This is a Bridgerton joke,
but even Lady Whistledown couldn't keep it.
Just use a fake name.
Did you get that?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
You can't talk culture references.
Use a fake name.
Change the count.
Don't use your face.
Yeah, but I think you're right.
I think when you post something online,
it's not private.
Know that it's not private.
Know that a million people could potentially watch it.
Yeah, you could be surprised if it blows up,
because sure, that's crazy.
But don't be surprised when people find it.
Yeah, and it's also there forever until you delete it.
Crazy shit.
I mean, that wife is hilarious.
You gotta appreciate how much she laughs at everything.
Yeah, I unfortunately think that I would do that.
I'd be like, you have to go talk to her.
Yeah, I was like, yeah.
That's really funny.
Go spot for her next time.
Yes.
Do the squats, do the squats.
Be like, baby, we're famous.
No, no, no, keep it going.
Go, go.
You got a cigar, suddenly you're like,
this is good, this is good.
I'm like, yeah, I just got off the phone with CAA.
You're going to Good Morning America tomorrow.
We're here with the Jim Crush
that America's been talking about.
And you're just there like, what?
Those are some good updates.
Yeah.
Nothing too scary, nothing too bad.
Yeah, for a second I was like, oh God, is this all misogyny?
We gotta hold someone in between.
Yeah, we got some knitted blankets.
And we got a lot of dodged bullets in this episode.
Nobody messed up too bad, I feel like.
So good stuff.
Well, thank you both for being here.
Thank you for having us.
Yeah.
It's always fun.
Yeah.
I'm a sucker for an update.
Yeah, me too.
An eight year later update is a first for me.
Insane.
Yeah, yeah, that's, just an eight year update
to be like, guys, I didn't date him.
Yeah.
We broke up a month ago.
Oh, it's like, oh.
About eight years ago.
We were like, do they have kids?
Are they reading the book?
Hey, I just found this account.
Nothing happened. Yeah. So anyways, Mac, just found this account. Nothing happened.
Yeah.
Anyways, Mac, thank you for coming back as always.
Thank you for having me.
And thank you all for watching.
Let us know what other themes and subreddits
you want us to cover on this show,
and we'll see you next Saturday.
Bye.