Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - You Can't Pick Your Family... | Reading Reddit Stories

Episode Date: February 8, 2025

Family drama is always so juicy. Go to https://Quince.com/pitreddit for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/PITREDDIT to find and instantly book a top-rated... doctor today. 0:00 Intro 1:14 I purchase my sister's OF content https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1i7yj4n/i_purchase_all_of_my_sisters_of_content_am_i_wrong/ 10:20 I cancelled the monthly family dinner https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1esxi7v/aita_for_telling_my_family_no_more_to_monthly/ 23:19 My sister named her kid the same name as my dog https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1i1wo6x/aita_for_refusing_to_demote_my_dog_after_my/ 30:46 I took pictures at a family wedding https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1dpzsyn/aita_for_doing_a_half_ass_job_taking_family/ 37:59 My in-laws have a problem with my guest bedroom https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1hxg6f8/aitah_for_having_two_twin_beds_in_my_guest_room/ 43:49 AITA for taking my daughter to Disneyland https://www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15wh54l/aita_for_taking_my_daughter_to_disneyland/ 59:12 Need a fake kid to piss off my wife https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1i06kiv/need_a_fake_kid_to_piss_off_my_wife/ SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Emily Rose Jacobson Editor: Vida Robbins Director of Programming, Smosh Pit: Emily Rose Jacobson Associate Producer, Smosh Pit: Bailey Petracek Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Utility: Dina Ramli Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Videographer: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups sound experiment. We're looking to find the perfect way to hear Reese's so you'll buy more of them. Here we go. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's.
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Starting point is 00:00:45 shaken espresso. Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. Hello, welcome to Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is family. Notorious for being extremely chill. Yeah. Zero issues. Right. Family. Yeah. Joining me are two people who I consider family. Angela and Chance. Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:01:11 Okay, what family member would I be to you? Ooh, that's tough. We're both your cousins. Yeah, cousins. You're obsessed with cousins! No, I'm not, I just know that that's the energy. I think the energy that we have, oftentimes, is like cousin energy. I think that's fair to say. I'm sorry that I yelled at you about the cousins. I think the energy that we have, oftentimes, is like cousin energy.
Starting point is 00:01:25 I think that's fair to say. I'm sorry that I yelled at you about the cousins. Hey, it's okay, it's family. It's family. But you're right, it's like a chill subject, like across all cultures, I'd say. Yeah. Chill, chill, chill.
Starting point is 00:01:36 No expectations. Yeah, I'd say this is gonna be a really lighthearted, we'll probably, like, I probably won't have really much to say. Time code on this is probably gonna be like 15 minutes. Yeah, literally, yeah. We're good. Don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:01:47 I've never met an overbearing family member. Yeah, most people I meet, I'm like, hey, what's your family like? And they're like, really good. Boring, next question. We all talk. Yeah. We're all in communication.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Also like, family like trees now, they're so crazy. They're so disjointed and like- Are you seeing these trees? Okay, shall we get into these? Yeah. Our first story was posted less than 24 hours ago as I was reading this. No! I love when you guys do that!
Starting point is 00:02:13 This was a Kiana pick. I can tell it's a Kiana pick. Kiana just finds, she lasers in on the craziest stories. She does. Okay, so as of reading this, this came out less than 24 hours ago. Oh my God. This is from True Off My Chest.
Starting point is 00:02:29 This is a confession someone made. I purchase all of my sister's OnlyFans content. Am I wrong? What the hell? Okay, support local business. You did the exact turn I did. Okay. The turn, I was like exact turn I did. Okay. The turn, I was like, no.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Oh. Oh. Let's find out where this goes. As the title says, I purchase all of my sister's OnlyFans content. A paltry $200 to $500 every two-ish weeks. What? For obvious reasons, this is a throwaway.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Now let me explain. I am extremely well off. I make in the upper end of the six figure bracket. My sister, however, has been struggling. She has a young child with another on the way. Her boyfriend tries to provide, but he just doesn't have the income to support them in a meaningful way.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Now comes my sister's OnlyFans. She started before the first child and was very vocal about it. I ignored it for the most part because I didn't care. When she found out she was pregnant the first time, I worried about both their financial situation, and frankly, my sister is more than a few crayons short of a Crayola pack. She's got some colors missing. I initially offered to help financially, but she has decided that she doesn't want help and can do it on her own.
Starting point is 00:03:43 So I decided to enlist the help of a friend so I don't have to view the content to use my money to subscribe anonymously and purchase all of the content she produces, thereby providing support and a little extra help without her knowledge. Obviously, I will never reveal I am her largest supporter. I have never seen any of the content aside from a few face pictures to confirm it was her account. I do this solely to help her and to help support my nephew since she refuses all help I offer.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Is this wrong? I don't know. Does it feel weird as fuck? Yes, yes it does. Do I regret it? Not even slightly. So does he watch? He said no.
Starting point is 00:04:19 So what he does is he gives a friend money and that friend is the subscriber. Okay. And I don't know if that friend watches. This is a beautiful, beautiful thing. That friend is the subscriber. Okay. And I don't know if that friend watches. This is a beautiful, beautiful thing. That friend is like, yeah, I don't watch it. Oh, I need to know if the friend watches. Well, I need to know what's the content.
Starting point is 00:04:36 What is the content? I'm assuming it's probably. But it could be anything. Some people are literally on there with their bare ass sitting on cakes. Yeah. Like it's creative stuff. There are people like that.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Him saying that he's like, I am not watching the content. I'm assuming it's... But it could be fucking anything. It could be anything. It's true. Like that's why I want to know. I know. Who knows? But I think ultimately, if all of this is true, I think this is a kind gesture.
Starting point is 00:05:04 It's fine. It's sweet. And I get it. It makes her feel like, oh, well, I all of this is true, I think this is a kind gesture. It's fine, it's sweet. And I get it, it makes her feel like, oh, well I'm earning this money, and she is, but instead of just giving her the money and she feels guilty about it, this is through a way that... This is really, really sweet. It is.
Starting point is 00:05:19 He doesn't need to call her a few crayons short of a Crayola pack. No, he didn't need to say that. He did not need to say that at all. No. Because I'm confused. Yeah. And hurt.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Some comments here. This is so wholesome, even though the post has a disturbing title. I am sure there are other ways to assist, like trusts and such,
Starting point is 00:05:43 but for anonymous instant short-term, Why not take it to the grave though? Someone else said while your intention is good Do you know if she is making enough money from other users you may be the only reason she is doing only fans active Oh that could be true Someone else said I have a feeling that had she known she couldn't do it on her own and had she turned to you for help She could have had a more realistic approach to the situation with a higher chance of finding a more wholesome approach to tackling it. OP responded, unfortunately she's one of those extremely stubborn people and will
Starting point is 00:06:12 vehemently deny she isn't doing it on her own even when everything points to the latter. Lastly someone said it is not weird you found a way to support her without hurting her pride although I think she is very short-sighted if she doesn't want your help. Kudos to you. If you want to help in other ways, try to frame it as helping her child as an uncle and not her.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Give her coupons to kid stores, tell her you'll pay for extracurricular activities, et cetera, pay for preschool. I think there's some offers he could probably put out there of like, hey, like, I'm, this is my nephew, and I make, if he's saying he makes close to a million dollars a year, he there of like, hey, like, I'm, this is my nephew, and I make, if he's saying he makes close to a million dollars a year, he could be like, can I like,
Starting point is 00:06:49 set up a fund to pay for his college? There is also, like, do some things. I will say there is a betrayal of trust here, where she is allowed to say, I do not want your help. And he is actively saying, you don't get that choice anymore. No, he's not saying that to her. He absolutely is.
Starting point is 00:07:08 No, I think saying that to her face is one thing, but then silently supporting her. Silently doing the thing that she doesn't want him to do? Yeah, I guess you're right, but I don't know if it's as black and white as that, because I feel like. Oh no, it's definitely gray. But, this is tough tough because you're right,
Starting point is 00:07:28 she doesn't want this. She's saying, she's actually saying, I do not want your help, I do not want your money. Because she wants to make it on her own. She wants another person's money. Yeah, I honestly would feel bad lying to her for that long. But you're also supporting, honestly you know what I feel like he should do?
Starting point is 00:07:44 He should use, he or here she this person should use their money and like like I feel like use it and like buy property and be like hey you can live here I mean this is an investment property I think she wants she keeps she he's just saying she's gonna refuse all forms of help which and that's okay she doesn't write to do so apparently from other comments he has set up trusts. So there are other ways. It's short term that she's saying,
Starting point is 00:08:08 no, I don't want your money. And it's also, I guess from other comments, she may have other subscribers. I don't know how much money she's making per subscribers. I'm not really sure how the income works on OnlyFans. But I don't know, I don't think this is a situation where someone's a horrible person. Like this is, he's just so certain that she's so stubborn.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah. This is tough. And we've had stories kind of similar about people who are trying to get into Twitch streaming. And just like being so determined, but you know, the average, But the 99% of people on YouTube, Twitch, OnlyFans, are people with zero subscribers who are just trying to break through.
Starting point is 00:08:55 And it's really, really hard. It's a lot harder than people realize. So she's not alone in what she's doing and she's probably just hoping like it's gonna spark, it's gonna work and. Oh, that's so hard. It's really tough. There's also like this, when, with my experience,
Starting point is 00:09:17 when family offers money, I feel that they now have this power over me. I fully understand that. I now owe them this. I have to do this because they helped me. And I don't, a lot of times, I don't want that. I don't want those strings attached to me. But sometimes people don't feel those strings and they still, you know.
Starting point is 00:09:35 But she's actively saying, I don't want strings on me. Like I even think about, like with me, like I remember some of my earliest improv shows, there's no one in the audience. I didn't invite my family because I didn't want, my family was local and I still felt like, I was just like, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:09:52 like support from your family, especially as a young artist is crucial. Yeah. Right, like you need it, but it's also really hard because you don't want it sometimes. You want to make it on your own. And you don't, like I really don't have a-
Starting point is 00:10:07 You have to have an empty improv show. You have to have an empty improv show. And then you really, yeah. You learn from the empty improv show. But oh, yeah, gosh. But then I remember like when I was little, and I like made, had a lemonade stand, and no one would come, and my mom like came, bought something.
Starting point is 00:10:21 And I was like, well, and she was like, you still made lemonade and had a business today. And I was like, well, and she was like, you still made lemonade and had a business today. And I was like, yeah, but you bought it. It was for other people. Give me my allowance. I am so curious about this friend who was like, yeah, I'll do that. Does he watch it?
Starting point is 00:10:37 Does he watch it? I'm glad he's going through the friend though, because. Well, yeah. For many reasons, I'm glad. You find out your whole family is the one who's subscribed. They're like, great job, honey. You're like, oh. Like if all the tickets we were selling
Starting point is 00:10:55 for like Smosh the sitcom, it was all of our parents. Yeah. And we were like, we hit another tier. And we're like, yes, it's all of our friends. Yeah. Smosh about the dynasty typewriter was just my family in the audience. I'm like, we hit another tier. And we're like, yes, it's all of our friends. Yeah. Smoshed about the dynasty typewriter was just my family in the audience. I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Okay. Okay, let's move on to our next story. Am I the asshole for telling my family no more to monthly family dinners? Oh. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. What? What? What?
Starting point is 00:11:22 No, I just already have a lot to say. Okay. This is fun for me, because this is not something I relate to. My family lives out of state, so I've never experienced like, having family where it's like, oh, we meet up regularly. You've never felt the gun to your head
Starting point is 00:11:35 that is Sunday night sauce? Wow. Oh, shit. Okay. Ever since my dad was a kid, our family has done monthly family dinners, nicer ones than your average family dinner. It's something our family did
Starting point is 00:11:49 when my siblings and I were kids too. We'd have grandparents over and we'd all have a nicer dinner together. When my siblings and I grew up, we still did it only instead of what happened before, where branches broke off over time and did their own. They decided we should include partners slash spouses and our kids as a whole in one.
Starting point is 00:12:07 By the time I was 19, the family had decided they would take turns hosting each month to lessen the burden. My wife was excited to be part of them at first. We started during our relationship. I did the cooking to start, and then she took over after a while because she wanted to. My family had seemingly gotten along with my wife
Starting point is 00:12:23 before this point, but they were overly harsharsher for cooking, with the exception of my two younger siblings. She tried to make them happy, but no dice. I told them they could be kinder. They said she should cook better or cook different things. Oh my God. My wife didn't make anything they don't normally eat,
Starting point is 00:12:39 but nothing was right. She grew frustrated and I grew suspicious. So we hosted a couple of months ago, and I told my wife we were going to pretend I did the cooking just to see. She told me she felt like they just weren't fond of her food. I pointed out nobody had the same amount of complaints as them and they even criticized
Starting point is 00:12:55 the steak and potatoes they all seemed to go crazy for. She went along with the plan and when my family thought I'd cooked it, they loved it. Oh my God. Said it was so good, my wife had decided to let a real talent take over. That it was so nice to have something a little different, curry, and all this very lovely stuff.
Starting point is 00:13:13 My younger brother and sister weren't fooled, but they enjoyed watching the rest of the family dig a hole. When the rest of my family heard it was my wife's food and not mine, they tried so hard to backtrack on all the nice stuff. The rest of the dinner went into tense silence and my wife's eyes and not mine. They tried so hard to backtrack on all the nice stuff. The rest of the dinner went into tense silence and my wife's eyes were opened.
Starting point is 00:13:28 I told her I was done with these dinners and she was my priority. She felt a little bad. I told her we could have dinners with my younger brother and sister sometimes. It's less stressful anyway. When we didn't show up to last month's dinner or this one, my parents and siblings started asking questions.
Starting point is 00:13:44 I told them each time we weren't going again, but missing two made it sink in. They told me we need to be there. I said never again. My wife doesn't deserve their disrespect. I told them they ruined what they wanted by being assholes to her. They said I was overreacting, making very relationship harming choices and treating them badly for simply having issues with my wife's food. They also said to think of future kids
Starting point is 00:14:05 and how they'll miss out. Some of it got to my wife a little, which I have tried to reassure her about. Am I the asshole? Oh, you. I don't think there is ever a time that telling someone that they're overreacting is a good idea. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:23 I don't think there is such thing as overreacting. Any time I'm having an anxiety attack and someone tells me to calm down, it works like a charm. Yeah, yeah. But I think specifically the word overreacting is so bad. It's awful. Because how are you gonna quantify my feelings and my emotions?
Starting point is 00:14:38 Overreacting is just super ineffective and it's dumb when you think about it because it's just telling someone like, hey, don't feel what you're feeling right Yeah, well, I'm already feeling it. Yeah, so Justified man, it's unjustified. It's okay. I wonder if there's a version of it of I mean not in this situation in this situation They're not overreacting because this is Yeah, absolutely crazy. Yeah
Starting point is 00:14:59 but like Saying like hey, it's okay. Like the situation's not as bad as you might think it is, or so, I don't know, but that's besides the point. How do you even do that? I think in this situation, and in most situations, when people are worried if they're overreacting, they're typically not.
Starting point is 00:15:16 And what I'm blown away by, and I think is a hard line rule, is if you're ever having dinner at someone else's place, you just don't criticize the cooking. Like you're at their place. If someone is cooking food for you, I just don't think complaining is really in place for it. If you don't like the food and you leave and you go, I didn't really like the food, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:15:38 But to like say it to their face, I just can't believe it. I have a theory based off of a personal connection, that I think when people, it's okay, I'm allowed to say this, I think it's happening a little bit in my family right now, where when your family has a dynamic that has been there since birth,
Starting point is 00:16:02 and since your, it's just been there for a very long time. And people start to bring in chosen family into the family dynamic that is people like, that they are engaged to or like anybody that they're like, oh, this is, I'm gonna, this is gonna be my wife. And they're coming into our family dynamic. That changes things up because patterns of behavior that has have been going on that probably aren't the best
Starting point is 00:16:28 are identified by the new party. There's a threat. Like this family is actively gonna lose him and they've never felt like that before. He's been a part of their family. But when they act like this, he has to step up for his wife, which he is, which I think is great.
Starting point is 00:16:43 And I think he's so right to choose his, it's really rough, but it's right to choose who you're married to. I wonder if he still sees them outside of the dinners. I don't know. To me, it reads a little bit, especially him saying it's my cooking and them being like, this is incredible.
Starting point is 00:17:00 It kind of reads to me as a little bit like, oh, he's our precious little boy and you're not good enough for him. 100%. That's what it's reading to me. Yes, bit like, oh, he's our precious little boy and you're not good enough for him. 100%. That's what it's reading to me. Yes, and I think it's, and he, but I totally understand why the family was like, why are you, by the second time it really set in for them?
Starting point is 00:17:13 And they're like, why? Why, and they're just confused. Yeah. Because they don't understand that like, this is harmful and that this is his wife. That's so messed up. I would also be like, try to meet on mutual territory, like can't they just go out or something?
Starting point is 00:17:29 That's what people like to cook. Sorry, I feel like I'm taking the energy out of them. It seems like a tradition they wanna hold on to. This family's cooking. But she's so, that's so mean. It absolutely is. But it's amazing and it's rare in these Reddit stories for the spouse to stick up for them.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Oh really? We're not used to that I feel. I feel like in a lot of Reddit stories. They do, there are plenty of times they do, but it feels like, I would say 70% of the time, when it's family related, the child will be like, oh my, it's just like, my parents do this, don't worry about it. That's what I, oh, it's just like, my parents do this, don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:18:08 That's what I'm saying is it's great that he's stopping it because he's recognizing it now with his wife there that there's more to lose. Maybe we get used to family dynamics, but then sometimes you bring in new people and you're like, oh, this was never cool. She didn't even think that it was true. She was kind of like defending the family almost.
Starting point is 00:18:24 She was like, oh yeah, it's okay. And he was the one who's putting his foot down going, no it's not. So really props to him. Comments, not the asshole. It's pretty clear the issue isn't her food, it's her. For whatever reason, they don't seem to like her. Good for you for standing up to them.
Starting point is 00:18:39 OP responded, having that confirmed sucked badly, but I wasn't going to pretend it was okay to treat her this way either. They wouldn't come right out and say it either. They tried to hide behind the food. Someone else said, not the asshole. Your kids won't be missing much other than the company of toxic relatives
Starting point is 00:18:54 who treat their mother poorly, yet she is too kind to hold a grudge. Why do some of your family treat her like that? Do they treat all in-laws as poorly? OP said, no, just my wife. The others are treated fine. Someone said, start a new tradition with your younger brother and sister.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Invite them only to your house. Forget the rest of them. He said that's the plan. Good for him, though. Is this at all something you guys relate to? Like, as far as having dated someone that your family wasn't fond of or like vice versa? I um...
Starting point is 00:19:27 I was uh... I was... Yeah, I'm gonna talk about it a little bit. Okay. I was like seeing someone and we went home to visit his family, his in... yeah, wherever. And I got there and it was winter and I was kind of pale and I had a hat on and I was blowing out my hair so I didn't look like, I looked white. I looked white, okay?
Starting point is 00:19:53 Or just like not like, and I think I'm pretty white passing for some times, but I was white passing for sure. I was wearing like a polo or whatever and not that that says I'm white, but that's white passing for sure. It increases the whiteness by. It definitely increases the whiteness. I'm wearing like v polo or whatever, not that that says I'm white, but that's white passing for sure. It increases the whiteness by a lot. It definitely increases the whiteness. I'm wearing like vans or some shit.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Okay. And I get there and immediately the family starts talking about like race stuff in a really, really, really potent way in that I was like, like immediately, like it was like right off the bat. Like they were like ready to talk about this with their son who's back and like, and it was during the like George Floyd stuff.
Starting point is 00:20:37 So it was like tensions were high. And these were people who were isolated from, they like live in a cabin on a lake away from, so it's only what they hear from their other family and cities and their Fox News. So they were heated and ready to talk about it. And immediately I was like, I have never felt more, I'm in a cabin, I felt like get out.
Starting point is 00:20:59 I was in a cabin on a lake with all these white people talking about like how people deserve to die and all this shit and like we need to like all this crazy shit. We tried to get them on a plane so bad. I had to text Moon Goon, my comedy group, and I was like, you guys, we were supposed to sleep in an apartment. They moved us to the basement
Starting point is 00:21:18 where there were no doors that I could lock. I was like, share your location with me. I was sleeping on a couch, I was supposed to have a bed. And then it was all these things going on. I ended up sleeping in the bathroom because it was the only door that I could lock. Girl. No, this story, I can't believe it.
Starting point is 00:21:34 And then other in-laws were supposed to come, and I was like, please let there be non-white in-laws. Girl, there was one other non-white in-law. It was an Asian guy. His wife was white, and she was related to the family. And they got there. They started doing the same thing. They drove the... My date drove me.
Starting point is 00:21:52 They got there. They left in 15 minutes. And I was like, please don't leave right now! Who's mine?! Oh, my God. And then my date had to end up going... Well, my date was sitting there like not saying anything while they're like going on this rant. And so then he has to like take them like later that night,
Starting point is 00:22:12 he takes them, I'm like running away. He takes them and he's like, just so you know, like chances, like chances half black, like all those things you said. But I was just like, this is when I knew it wasn't gonna work. I was like, why didn't you stand up for me while they were speaking?
Starting point is 00:22:26 Yeah. Did he not even clock it? Was it one of those situations where he was like, oh, I didn't think about that? Yeah, it was, at first he didn't clock it, but then he was like, and we had had a lot, I knew, I should have known that this would have been his family
Starting point is 00:22:41 because of all the conversations we had over the years. And a lot of it was me educating him on race and what blackness is and what whiteness is and the invisibility that comes with it. And so he learned a lot and so I should have been prepared for where he came from to be the place that he would have come from. That's-
Starting point is 00:23:07 And like you don't have to be at the table for him, for you two to want him to stop that conversation. No. Yeah. Like you being there doesn't stop the fact that he should have ended that. Right then and there. You don't have to be visiting for him to shut that down.
Starting point is 00:23:19 No. It should have been shut down. Yeah. But in some family dynamics. In some family dynamics, and this is very much like, the dad speaks and when the dad is speaking, you don't speak until spoken to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:32 So how'd you feel alienated? Yeah, I'm like, so yes. I have my own Reddit story coming. That's why I looked at you like, you gonna do this? I didn't share that too many. No, you did a great job. There's a lot of details. Oh, I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:23:46 But that's all in anonymous form, look out for it. Oh my God. We'll be like, that's the one. But yeah, I think like, just to bring it back, it's crazy how family has a pull over some people. And it's great to see that this guy was just like, no, the bullshit stops here. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:03 For my wife. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For my wife. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Our next story comes from Emma the Asshole. Emma the Asshole for refusing to demote my dog after my sister gave her baby the same name. We have read many stories like this.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Demote. I feel like, yeah. Demote. What is demote? Demote my dog. I'm assuming, as. Demote. I feel like, yeah. Demote. What is demote? Demote my dog. I'm assuming, as previous stories on Reddit have been like, when a family member has a kid and they have the same name as a pet that's already in the family,
Starting point is 00:24:34 they're like, you need to change the name of your pet so that they're not the same name. Fuck no. There was a- The pet was there first. So there's a famous story where a guy had a cat named Nigel and then someone had a... Well that's your first mistake,
Starting point is 00:24:49 don't you name your baby Nigel. They didn't name, no, it was a fiance that came into the family. And they started calling the fiance human Nigel. Because the cat was named Nigel. So there's Nigel in human Nigel. That's awesome. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Yeah, there's been several stories. There was one where I think someone had a pug named like, named like Doug or something. And then someone had a fiance named Doug. So they started calling him Doug too. That's awesome. It's incredible. That's fun though.
Starting point is 00:25:19 That's awesome. Just take a fucking nickname. Oh dude, I'd be all in on that. Yeah, if my brother's daughter comes out named spork I'm like hell. Yeah, welcome to the family if I if I met someone in there like my cat's name is Shane I'd be like no way I'd be stoked alright, I
Starting point is 00:25:36 26 year old woman have a dog named Charlie Charlie is a golden retriever I adopted four years ago, and he's my best buddy my sister Emily Who's 29, recently had her first child, a baby boy. She and her husband named him Charlie. You! At first, I thought it was funny and didn't really think much of it,
Starting point is 00:25:54 but then Emily pulled me aside during a family gathering and said it was confusing and disrespectful for me to keep calling my dog Charlie now that her son has the same name. She asked me to rename my dog. I told her no. Charlie has been his name for four years, he knows it, responds to it,
Starting point is 00:26:10 and it's on all his paperwork. Changing it would be weird for him and for me. She got really upset and said it's not fair for her son to share a name with a dog, especially in family settings. She thinks it'll lead to jokes and confusion as her son grows up. My parents have weighed in, and while my dad says it's ridiculous
Starting point is 00:26:28 to expect me to change my dog's name, my mom says I should just consider it to keep the peace. Now Emily's barely speaking to me, and a few family members think I'm being stubborn. I have no idea how I'm in the wrong here. The world's gone crazy. I love my dog, and I didn't name him to spite anyone. I also think it's not my fault they chose a name
Starting point is 00:26:46 already in use in the family. Am I the asshole? No. Yeah, no. I'd say you have the right of way because you were first. Yeah. If it was the other way, I feel like it's who's first. They willingly named their son Charlie,
Starting point is 00:26:58 knowing that the dog is named Charlie. For years. That's just the case. And like, especially with a kid It's like you're you're making that choice You know even with fiancee situations almost like I'm sorry. That's the pets name. That's their name Yeah, I feel like it's easier to change your name as a human pets names It's hard to change them to get them to listen to something else
Starting point is 00:27:20 My dog can't hear as it is if I change it up on him Yeah, it would be so hard to get him to respond. It'd be so confused. Yeah, honestly, you know what I would do? The most I would do, if my sister stopped talking to me over this, I'd be like, fine, my dog's Charles. But we're not losing Charle.
Starting point is 00:27:41 You know? Yeah. We're not losing the Charle part. I'd be like, we'll do like his God given name. Uh huh, Charles the dog. The name the queen would call him. But I'm not changing his name entirely. Yeah, no, that's absolutely insane.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Comments here, there was a post years ago about a guy who had a cat named Nigel and his sister or roommate started dating someone named Nigel. So they called the cat Nigel and the guy Human Nigel. Charlie the dog is already Charlie. It shouldn't be a big deal. Baby Charlie doesn't care, only the parents do. If it was a problem, they could have easily prevented it.
Starting point is 00:28:16 You are not the asshole. Lastly, someone said adopt a second dog, name it Emily. I was about to say the same thing. Wait, wait, wait, that's kind of funny though. You know how sometimes you meet people, someone they're like, oh, they. Wait, wait, wait, that's kinda funny though. You know how sometimes you meet people, someone they're like, oh, they're like, oh, Angela's my middle name, my first name is Charlie, but we had to change it because my brother had a dog.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Like, it is kinda funny to think about. That's pretty funny, that is pretty funny. I hate to say this, I am a little skeptical of this story. I'm a little skeptical it could be AI. Yeah. And I'll tell you why, reading it, they use a semicolon in perfect form. And I'm like,
Starting point is 00:28:53 And no one uses semicolons for me. Nobody's using semicolons. Nobody's using semicolons here. The story's a little too perfectly just kind of laid out. Okay, here's my question. Why are AI stories on Reddit? What's the, what? People are farming karma.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Like karma is kind of like how you generate a profile on Reddit, so if you post things and it gets a lot of interaction, your profile gets more karma. And then you get. And then you kind of like, it's, your posts get seen by more people. You kind of like, it's kind of being
Starting point is 00:29:21 an influencer on Reddit, right? Being verified. Yeah. It's a little bit like a verification. Because I've never understood the incentive to make a fake story, but now I get yeah people farm it and it's really lame But there are some things AI can't do and that's like misspelling and Bad using grammar a little wrong most stories We read have some bad grammar that we fix or misspellings, and I'm always kind of grateful for it because I'm like, that's a human type, that out.
Starting point is 00:29:47 But nobody's using semicolons. And it was kind of perfectly like, here's the situation. Here's the situation. What do I do? How do I always, yeah. Yeah, there's not a single grammar mistake in here. Not a lot of it. My parents have weighed in, comma,
Starting point is 00:29:59 and while my dad says it's ridiculous to expect me to change my dog's name, comma, my mom says I should, quotations, just consider it, and quotations to keep the peace, period. I'm like, that's a goddamn good sentence. Have you guys seen the video of the Waymo crashing into the Postmates' cart? No.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Yes. That's what I feel like. We're just like, whoops, iRobot, hit yours. Whoops, this is a fake fucking story. Look, I've been- Remind me, I sent you the video, it's so fucking funny, they just turned it. I'm gonna be, look, I've spoken about how I feel about AI,
Starting point is 00:30:36 I'm very scared by it, I don't like it, but it will be funny, because all the sci-fi books for decades were like, AI is gonna take over the world. What if we finally create true artificial intelligence and it's an idiot? Yeah. And it's really stupid.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Like, what if it's really dumb? They both just, where do I? Guys who created a new intelligence and it's an idiot. And we're embarrassed. And we really. And God comes down and he's like, now you know how I felt. Yeah, yeah, he's like, look at you fuckers. We're like, wow, okay.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Okay, well, thanks Charlie. Yeah, thanks Charlie. Thank you Charlie how I felt. Yeah, yeah, he's like, look at you fuckers. We're like, wow, okay. Okay, well thanks, Charlie. Yeah, thanks, Charlie. Thank you, Charlie. Fake dog. But if this is real, I'm sorry. We don't know. That's also the ultimate thing. We don't really know, that's what sucks, but that's our speculation.
Starting point is 00:31:18 And could have been a real story and then used AI to make it readable. That's also what I wonder sometimes. Some people might not feel confident in typing out a story, so they use it. I still, we don't know that, and ultimately people farm. We wanna hear your voice. People farm karma on Reddit all the time.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I want things written by human Nigel. Today's Reddit Stories is brought to you by ZocDoc. We've all woken up with a scratchy throat or just feeling a little bit off, and we've gone to Google trying to figure out what's wrong with us. We've all gone down that rabbit hole, but now it's time to get the care you really need with ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website
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Starting point is 00:34:12 Okay, next story. Am I the asshole for doing a half-assed job taking family pictures at a wedding after being told to shut up and stop being a smart ass? Well, you know this one's real. You know right off the bat this one's real. Also families and weddings. Boy.
Starting point is 00:34:30 This is coffee in the creamer. It's creamer in my coffee. I was taking pictures at a family wedding as a favor. I was being paid about half of what I normally charge and I was fine with it. The bride is my favorite cousin and her husband is amazing. During the formals, the wedding party was great and I got lots of great shots.
Starting point is 00:34:47 When it came time to take pictures of different family groups with the couple, people were assholes. They wouldn't stop talking or looking away from the camera. I tried politely reminding everyone that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it took still images, not video. I was repeatedly told to shut up and stop being a smart ass
Starting point is 00:35:06 and that they knew what a camera was. I asked my wife to record a video of the responses for me. My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals and the reception. She laughed her ass off at the family pictures. In about half of them, people are looking off in all directions instead of at the camera. In most of those, there are also people
Starting point is 00:35:24 with their mouths open. She thought they were hilarious, and her husband agreed. I started getting shit on social media from my family about the terrible pictures. I replied that I had tried to explain to them that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it only took still pictures. They said I should have waited for them to be ready.
Starting point is 00:35:41 So I started posting short video clips of people being jackasses. That's awesome. That is sick as hell. My mom said that I went too far I could have waited for them to be ready. So I started posting short video clips of people being jackasses. That's awesome. That is sick as hell. My mom said that I went too far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again. I did a fake cry and said, boo hoo.
Starting point is 00:35:53 She called me a smart aleck. Please let me state that I do not think I am the asshole in this situation, but many people do. They are upset because they don't often dress up and get together and they didn't get good pictures. There's also, I don't know how he was telling them, but like, it sounds like he's already kind of rude in general.
Starting point is 00:36:15 And like, the camera's the big black thing on the tripod. And like, if I'm drunk at a wedding, I'm gonna be like, what an asshole. Like, you're, you should be like, hey guys, and we're over here in three, two, we're right here and it's the last time we're gonna take, I guess that takes a lot of energy. Wrangling people is tough.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Wrangling drunk people. Angela's really good at it. You are? It's weird, it's like I'm Cesar Millan. With, you're the Cesar Millan, dude that's such a good sketch idea. The Cesar Millan of drunk people. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Thank you for knowing my talents. I understand, because he's getting half his rate, so his patience is probably low. Yeah, he's doing this fully as a favor. But then you still gotta give it your all, and that's probably a part of, I bet this isn't his first wedding where it's hard to get everyone to look at the,
Starting point is 00:37:01 like to focus in. So, but I think the only possible ass-holy thing is posting those videos without like permission and just be like, fuck you guys. Look at you guys being crazy. Well, it's also like you wanna comment on social media how bad the pictures are, bitch. I'll show you why they're bad right here and right now.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Don't comment on my profile telling me how the pictures are bad when you were the reason. Here's the reason, you, look at your comment. Now you look stupid. You know what it makes me think of? Because this has happened, this happens a lot, right? Where people, it's no longer just celebrities who get called out if their behavior is bad
Starting point is 00:37:34 or they say something wrong. People in public, if you're gonna say a horrible thing to someone, people are filming and it might get posted and you might get outed as being like saying this awful thing. And what people often respond with is like, well you don't know the full context, you don't know what that person was saying to me.
Starting point is 00:37:49 And it's like, too bad, you said what you said. If you're being a jackass to someone, if you're saying something that's gonna make you look bad, even kind of out of context, you kind of have to be aware of that nowadays. I'm not saying that's right or wrong, I'm saying that's kind of the reality we're in sometimes. It is tough, because I guess, I'd say the only thing
Starting point is 00:38:10 that I could maybe see this person being an asshole is talking to this cousin before they post it. Because by posting this stuff, it is going to stir up stuff. It might cause stuff for them, because it was their wedding wedding and people might go, oh, I didn't know I was being filmed and that this was gonna. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:29 But I'm getting the vibe that the cousin probably wouldn't care. Yeah, like I understand it's sad, like when you, then the film is like, we needed those pictures, we were all together, like whatever, we all dressed up. But at the end of the day, if the bride was happy, it sounds like the bride and the groom didn't care.
Starting point is 00:38:43 And that's kind of all that matters. Comments, not the asshole, the photos are an accurate reflection of their behavior on the day. The only people whose opinions matter about the photos of the bride and groom that hired you. They like it, then no issue. They've embarrassed themselves
Starting point is 00:38:56 and don't like that their online tantrum turned around on them. It's easier to be right until evidence comes forward. Someone said, I used to do wedding photography and this happened from time to time. I sometimes assumed that the disrespect was due to me being a woman and sometimes that they were just oblivious or drunk.
Starting point is 00:39:11 I would try to make comments the same way you did to various results. The bottom line is that if they want good photos, they have a responsibility to cooperate. It's stunning how many people don't get that. They are jerks for not cooperating and then blaming you. You did what you could with what they gave you. Lastly, someone said, everyone sucks here, but not for taking half-ass photos. You get what you pay for and this
Starting point is 00:39:31 is why you don't ask a family member to take photos of your big event because it causes more drama if everyone isn't satisfied. That's so true. But ultimately they're the ones who didn't take you seriously so the shitty pictures are on them, but you did feel the need to air your family's dirty laundry over social Ultimately, they're the ones who didn't take you seriously, so the shitty pictures are on them. But you did feel the need to air your family's dirty laundry over social media instead of taking the high road and just ignoring it. So yeah, that's an asshole move and means you suck too.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Okay, that's the biggest point here, is like hiring family for this. I also, it also brings in context of people who are not taking this photographer seriously because it's a family member. So they're just like, oh, Uncle Nick is telling us to take photos, like, ah, screw it. Like, I do think, like, when you have someone
Starting point is 00:40:10 you don't know, it's like, that's the photographer. Generally, I would hope more people are gonna at least take that a little more seriously. But if it's a family member, it's easy to kind of shrug it off. Yeah, it's tough when you like hire, I had a friend like hire a lot of friends to do her wedding, and it's just a different environment
Starting point is 00:40:26 because she also wanted her friends to enjoy the wedding as well. Tough. But then it's like you're on the clock and you're also not, and you're also enjoying yourself and drinking and dancing. It's like, it's kind of, it's a blurred line a little bit. There's a lot of situations, and I mean,
Starting point is 00:40:40 I think I relate to this as far as the industry goes, right? When you're, if you're doing a project of This thing of like okay if I'm gonna work with friends. It's like I want to like pay you I like this has to be a professional thing because if it's friends It's it's a different dynamic sometimes and that can be stressful. Yeah, and bring about a lot of stuff So yeah, I think with weddings is certainly one you want to like draw that line Yeah, because they could just for they could just be mad at's certainly one you wanna like draw that line.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Yeah, because they could just be mad at somebody else and you're like, yeah, take it to Yelp. I hired them, whatever. You don't have to personally be upset. And once the wedding's done, they're out of the picture. That's true. Our next story. Are we ready?
Starting point is 00:41:18 Yeah. This was from 14 days ago. Are you ready Kermit the Frog? Yes. Okay, so this is recent. Days ago. Are you ready Kermit the Frog? Yes. No, no. Okay, so this is recent. Am I the asshole for having two twin beds in my guest room instead of a queen and refusing to let my in-laws change the room?
Starting point is 00:41:35 Oh. Yeah. Let them push it together. Hi Reddit, this happened earlier this year and my in-laws are no longer staying with me. Background info. My husband and I, both 24, have been married for two years. I am a social worker and my husband works as an electrician. We own a three-bed two bath together. We have our bedroom, our home office, and a guest bedroom. My state's foster care system is one of the worst in the country.
Starting point is 00:42:00 There isn't anywhere close to enough foster homes to meet the total number of children in care. As a result of this, children often get stuck at hospitals, psych facilities, group homes, et cetera. Oftentimes we have children that have to sleep at the CPS facility in sleeping bags on the floor because there's just nowhere for them to go. It's very common for social workers to bring children home with them, myself included. It's hard to find emergency placements for siblings.
Starting point is 00:42:23 So if I can't find a place for them for the night to keep them together, I will often just bring them home with me. My husband and I are child free, but he's super supportive of this. So our guest bedroom has two twin beds, both with pullout beds underneath. This means that I can give four children
Starting point is 00:42:38 their own beds for the night. Like two separate sets of siblings? The earlier this year, my husband's brother and his wife were temporarily homeless. They lost their jobs and couldn't renew their lease. They had to scramble to find new jobs and a place to live. We let them stay with us for two months. I didn't really want to, but it was the right thing to do.
Starting point is 00:42:55 They were very pissed about the two twin beds thing. Because of the way the beds frames are, you cannot push the beds together. And the room is a little small and oddly shaped, so you can't fit a queen air mattress in the room without taking the twin beds out. We don't have a garage, so there would be nowhere to put the beds.
Starting point is 00:43:13 They wanted me to get rid of the beds or put them in a storage unit so they could put a queen air mattress in the room. I refused because I didn't want to go through all that trouble when they shouldn't be staying for long. Anyways, and I worked hard to get the room to look away that I feel is welcoming to kids, and I don't want to go through all that trouble when they shouldn't be staying for long anyways, and I worked hard to get the room to look away that I feel is welcoming to kids, and I don't want to change it. I didn't tell them this, but I also didn't want them to get too comfortable with the
Starting point is 00:43:32 room because I don't want them to be tempted to stay for any longer than necessary. I would rather house kids in unstable situations than my ungrateful in-laws. My husband took my side and told them to get a hotel if they don't like it, but otherwise shut up. He said that if they keep complaining, they'll have to leave. He's a good husband. My in-laws have been telling everyone who will listen
Starting point is 00:43:51 that we're assholes who made them sleep in kids' beds. My husband has been telling his whole family to fuck off basically and don't talk to us unless you have something nice to say. Am I the asshole, Reddit? There's like a dozen people who think we're assholes, so I'd like some judgment. How would they, in what world?
Starting point is 00:44:10 I know. I don't understand that. I mean, even outside of the situation, you go stay somewhere and if they have two twin beds, it's just like, all right, that's your situation. I'm not demanding you change the layout of your home. It's not about their home, it's about their situation and this is what you have.
Starting point is 00:44:25 I mean, it's shitty to say, but if I was in a horrible situation like them, I'd just be grateful to have a room. I don't think they understand the reality of their situation, it feels like, because you can't really get a free place and get what you want inside of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:43 I mean, you have to have an I love Lucy situation for a while, that's fine. It's kind of it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you have to have an I love Lucy situation for a while, like that's fine. It's kind of sweet. Yeah. Kind of cute. Yeah. If you know, just figure it out. I feel like there's information that we're missing.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Probably. I feel like with every Reddit story probably. Yeah. I mean, how anyone could call these people assholes when what they're using this room for on a daily basis is like so kind. I was gonna say, they have such a gold medal with this excuse.
Starting point is 00:45:12 They're like, well, we're helping kids. Yeah. And you're like, okay, well. What can I do? Can't argue after that. Go to a hotel. Yeah, well, I'm a giant baby. Yeah, it's like.
Starting point is 00:45:22 So. Yeah, clearly. I mean, my wife also a giant baby. Yeah, it's like. So. Yeah, clearly. I mean my wife also a giant baby. Yeah, we're both giant babies. Comments here, the verdict, not the asshole, obviously. Comments, they have a lot of demands for people who get free housing. Don't let them come back.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Those kids sound like they need a place to stay a lot more than those spoiled in-laws. If anyone takes their side, tell them to house those two. By the way, I'm happy that people like you and your husband exist. Someone else said, not the asshole, tell them that it is possible to By the way, I'm happy that people like you and your husband exist. Someone else said, not the asshole, tell them that it is possible to have sex in a twin bed. Draw them diagrams if necessary.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Since they are your in-laws, use only stick figures in the diagrams. OP responded, funny enough, I did hint at that. I told them I'm not trying to cock block them, but it's my room and they're not changing it. It's up to them how they wanna use the room, but yeah. Lastly, someone said, I've been homeless and I've been put up in box rooms with tiny beds.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Know what I did? Thank them profusely because they didn't have to help me at all. They are choosing beggars. It's not their room, they don't get to critique the facilities and your hubby is right. If they don't like it, they can go to a hotel,
Starting point is 00:46:19 not the asshole. They are not. No. No. There's no way. Like, I just can't even find one reason why it could be rude, because they're just being kind It reminds me of earlier. It's like you don't critique the food of someone who's cooking for you Yeah, and you don't like critique the layout of a place that if someone's offering you a place to stay yeah
Starting point is 00:46:38 Those are just situations like I am kind of a believer of like you're in their house like that's for free house Learn how to have sex on a twin bed. Yeah, you learn how to cuddle on a twin bed. But also, I don't think they're probably having sex because they seem so high maintenance that they both need to get it in at some point. So maybe they should go to a hotel. Okay, our next story.
Starting point is 00:47:02 This one is wild. I've read this one. Okay. And it's a good one. I've rarely heard you say a story's wild, so, and I've heard some wild shit, so. Well, this one's really good. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Am I the asshole for taking my daughter to Disneyland? Okay. What else is going on during Disneyland? What else is going on? What is happening? What did she want? Don't trust. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:47:31 I kinda already think I'm not, but my family is convincing me I am. I, a 28 year old woman, went on a vacation with my daughter, who's five, and my husband, who's 29. As a last vacation before, we're a family of four. I'm seven months pregnant, and we wanted to spend some time with our daughter before her brother was born. When I was around 13, me, my mom, my dad, and my little brother
Starting point is 00:47:52 went on a Disneyland vacation. It was fun and all, until my dad left his phone in the hotel, and they wouldn't give it back to us. He had to get a new one, and my mom and dad were so upset that we never went back. I thought this was irrational since it was my mom's favorite place. We went at least once a year growing up.
Starting point is 00:48:09 After that whole ordeal, my mom hated it. So when me and my husband wanted to go on a before baby arrives vacation, we decided to go to Disneyland for around three days. My daughter loves the princesses and the idea of magic. So when we told her she was overjoyed, I told my mom when we were at lunch together that we were going on a trip. so when we told her she was overjoyed. I told my mom when we were at lunch together that we were going on a trip,
Starting point is 00:48:28 and when I told her it was Disneyland, she was enraged. I was extremely confused because I honestly thought she forgot about it. She called me a backstabber and just really rude words. She stormed out of the restaurant, and I paid and left a few minutes later. A few hours later, my dad called me and screamed at me that this family doesn't go to Disney.
Starting point is 00:48:47 If you weren't such a spoiled little B word, you would understand that. I was shocked. It was my money. And it was my money I was spending and I thought everyone was over it. My mom texted me a long paragraph about how she would go no contact
Starting point is 00:49:02 and wouldn't be my mother anymore if I still went. The trip was already paid for, so I responded, okay, I guess you only have a son now, and blocked her. I've gotten at least 60 calls from my family and a few texts telling me I'm wrong. We still went and got back yesterday. We all had a blast and my daughter rode her first big girl roller coaster.
Starting point is 00:49:21 She loved every minute of it, so in my opinion, it was all worth it. So, am I the asshole? Wait, what happened with their family at Disney? This is as confusing as it sounds. Their phone got stuck in a hotel? And they wouldn't give it back? They wouldn't give the phone back.
Starting point is 00:49:37 So because they, forever ago, they lost a phone at Disneyland, the family hates it so much that she's like, oh, we're going to Disneyland. And she goes, the parents are like, how fucking dare you. Like the house of mouse is their animal. We are no contact because you're going to Disneyland. I still need to know the inciting incident.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Like what happened? The phone. Okay, let me reread it. The phone. Let me reread it. The phone. It was fun and all until my dad left his phone in the hotel and they wouldn't give it back to us. He had to get a new one and my mom and dad were so upset that we never went back
Starting point is 00:50:09 I thought this was irrational since it was my mom's favorite place. There's there's something there's something missing here. There's something missing here because they he loses his phone at the hotel and They won't give it back. Why won't they give it back? And it's assuming that they have it. What's on the phone? What's on the phone? I already felt it.
Starting point is 00:50:33 What? Somebody's, there's something going on at Disneyland and I don't know what it is. Somebody's up to no good. What the fuck is on the phone? What's on the phone, Shane? Uh, um, let's read some comments to the phone. Shane!
Starting point is 00:50:49 No, you have to do- What's on the phone? Can you read them as quickly as you can? I'm not gonna read what's on the phone. I don't really care, you gotta get to the phone. Comments, not the asshole, you're well within your rights to take your daughter on holiday to a location you choose with your money. 100% but what's on the phone? I feel like something else happened at Disney that you're not aware of to make your parents hate it so much.
Starting point is 00:51:06 It seems totally irrational for her to act the way she is, especially jumping to no contact over this. What if she fucked the mouse? Someone else said not the asshole. And there's a video of it on the phone. Not the asshole your mom and dad need to get over their bad experience and it genuinely does sound bad of 15 years ago.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Sure, they can choose to boycott Disney for life if that makes them feel better, but they've got no right to impose their feelings onto you like this, especially to the extent that they're being abusive to you about it. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing by ignoring their childish behavior and going, I suspect they'll get over it in time, but there's no way you should ever apologize because you've done nothing wrong. OP responded, it definitely was bad, caused a bunch of issues and a lot of fights, and I definitely boycotted Disney with them because I do agree it shouldn't have happened.
Starting point is 00:51:48 But their reaction was uncalled for in my opinion. I also feel like going no contact and not wanting to be my parents anymore because the way I spend my money is insane. I agree. What's on the? Update. No!
Starting point is 00:52:01 No! No! No! No! Go. Okay. Okay. Okay. No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
Starting point is 00:52:07 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
Starting point is 00:52:14 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
Starting point is 00:52:20 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! My mom messaged her and basically said, I wanna talk, I know that our last fight was really messy, but I wanna meet up for lunch and talk. And she responded. She said, yes, and we're meeting up today.
Starting point is 00:52:30 My dad is also coming because I want an apology from him for what he called me. I truly can't even process the phone call that happened. I wanna get answers as fast as possible because I've seen so many comments saying this wasn't over a phone. I have a really bad memory and this was 15 years ago, but I remember most of it because that whole situation
Starting point is 00:52:47 was very messy. I will definitely be updating you guys after the lunch. I've also seen people saying my parents might not like Disney because they are more liberal. I don't think that's the reason though. 15 years ago though was very different as well. I'll ask that when we meet up, but I don't see it as a real reason.
Starting point is 00:53:04 I've also seen people saying it's very unreasonable to go no contact, very limited contact because of this, which I agree with. I think she was just saying that to scare me, which is still very gross, but we still went and she messaged me back. So I guess we will just see. My husband also might come with me because I don't know how my parents will react when I ask them my questions. They know we still went. So I'm not too scared, but I can't be sure. I'll update with how the lunch goes soon.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Okay, and now? And about the no contact thing, about the threat of no contact thing, you don't unsheathe the sword if you're not ready to use it. What happened at the restaurant? Boom, boom. Chance, let's talk about that. Yeah, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:53:43 And the original question is don't pull out the gun. What's he like watching porn on his phone or something in line? And they took it away, like, my brain's going nuts! Ooh, okay. Like snow white porn or something? All right, final update. Place your bets, what happened?
Starting point is 00:53:58 It was Shane! I don't wanna hear what you think, I don't wanna hear what you think, I wanna hear what happened. Okay, fine. Well, here it is, fellas, your final update. Around 1 p.m. yesterday, we went to lunch. My husband didn't come because he had an important meeting at his work.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Great for him. I wasn't that scared anyway because we were going to a pretty popular restaurant, and it wasn't like I would be alone with them. I ordered the rainbow roll. It was delicious. It wasn't too warm. I ordered the rainbow roll, it was delicious. It wasn't too warm. I ordered the rainbow roll, it was delicious. We got there and I sat down. I started talking to my mom and dad
Starting point is 00:54:32 and started asking my questions. It was mostly just, why would you get so mad? And it's my money and I wanted to take my daughter on a fun vacation with her parents before she has a brother. And I was met with them gaslighting me and thinking because they don't love Disney, I can't go. I was on the verge of tears and leaving. So I asked my final question
Starting point is 00:54:49 that I really wanted an answer on. This can't be over a fucking phone. There has to be something going on to make you blow up like this. They then told me what really happened. Okay. So my dad did actually leave his phone. When housekeeping went to clean the room
Starting point is 00:55:04 for the next family to arrive, the woman who was cleaning took the phone and took it to Lost and Found. She saw my mom's contact on my dad's little smartphone and called her and we went to pick it back up. But the woman also saw another contact that said, baby. I knew it. My dad was cheating for a good year to year and a half.
Starting point is 00:55:23 She told my mom and my mom blamed that woman for ruining her marriage by telling her. That's why they hated Disney, because it ruined their marriage. I walked out after that. I didn't pay either. I don't think I'm gonna talk to them after this, only if my daughter and son want to.
Starting point is 00:55:39 They betrayed my trust and never apologized either for what they called me a few days ago. I don't know why we never got the phone back. Probably we'll never know. But here's the official ending of this crazy ass story. That's the amount of deflection is... So you don't go to the house so mouse? Because the, oh, she's not even mad at the girl
Starting point is 00:56:01 he was sleeping with. Because that's usually what people do when people are mad, wrongfully mad at cheating situations. They get mad at the girl he was sleeping with. Because that's usually what people do when people are mad, wrongfully mad at cheating situations. They get mad at who they're cheating on. You're getting mad on the setting in which you found out. Not even the place they were fucking. The place that you found out they were fucking.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Yeah. You know, it's like, oh, the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me happened. You know what we should do about it? Never go to the happiest place on Earth ever again. That'll solve it. It's almost like a spell. It's almost like I'm gonna redirect all of this energy
Starting point is 00:56:36 into this magical, magical place, because it's the only place that can probably save it or ward it off. I don't even think it has to do with its magic or not. I think it's so fucking random and bizarre. I don't think so. But people do this all the time, right? What?
Starting point is 00:56:50 They take it out on the land? They take it out on just all sorts of things other than the actual problem. I just. The land. The land. They take it out on the land. Fucking bizarre.
Starting point is 00:57:00 It is so weird. No, she blamed, specifically she blamed the housekeeper. The housekeeper. For going through the phone. For being like, oh, you told me, don't tell me that because you told me you ruined my marriage. And so it, I think the mom can't go back to Disneyland
Starting point is 00:57:14 and can't think about Disneyland because it makes her have to confront this thing that she clearly hasn't confronted. They clearly didn't deal with this after. No, because their logic- They really just shoved it away. Their logic is so fucking twisted. They did leave it at Disneyland.
Starting point is 00:57:25 I don't trust these people. They pulled a Vegas. They go, what happened at Disneyland stays at Disneyland. So we never go back. There is so much energy there that's been built up for 15 years. That is now being blown up immediately at the daughters. This is crazy, because it's not even like Disney proper.
Starting point is 00:57:41 It's the whole town. It's literally like, can they not watch Disney movies? Like, what is that, Frozen? Get that off the TV! That also reminds me of when your dad was fucking another woman. Like, what are you talking about? I want so bad that their Disney trip,
Starting point is 00:57:56 like the girlfriend that he was sleeping with was there and they interacted multiple times in line and they just don't know it. I want the universe to work like that. This is so fucking wild. It always blows my mind when the cheater is not the one who gets blamed. 100%.
Starting point is 00:58:14 It always blows my mind, but it happens so often, because I think then you have to deal with it. You have to really acknowledge, oh, my reality's gone. Oh, I'm not grounded at all. There's nothing about this A plus B equals fucking C. To go after the daughter makes zero sense. They're like, she went on her first big roller coaster, and they're like, well, I went on my own fucking roller coaster,
Starting point is 00:58:36 and I was fucking betrayal. You know what's wild about this, too, is the parents, both of them, are telling her this. Yeah. They're telling her this as if she's in the wrong. I'm sorry it's insensitive, I'm laughing, I just cannot believe this took that turn. I thought we were mad at Disneyland
Starting point is 00:58:52 for something they did. Can I tell you, I knew it, I felt it, I was like he's cheating at Disneyland. I thought it was gonna be at Disneyland. Yeah. It's not even there. So that there's a cursed memory to it. I mean there is a bad memory to it.
Starting point is 00:59:09 You just found out that he was cheating at, like he wasn't cheating at Disneyland, but you found out there. That doesn't make any sense. Once my dad was really, really hungry and he was in a grumpy mood, and we went to, for some reason, we were going to this sandwich place, Togos.
Starting point is 00:59:22 Togos? Togos, Togos. And they fucked up our order and my dad got so angry, he said, we can never go back there again. And I feel like I haven't been since, because I'm loyal to my father, because they fucked up his tuna. But like, but this is like, this is like,
Starting point is 00:59:39 Next level. I just will never forget the image of my dad going, we're never going to Togos again. It's so funny. That makes sense though. Yeah, that is somehow makes more sense. This is just Man, that's that's that gets the award for the best. I'm glad she still went Oh, yeah, imagine being I say she might not she might not talk to her parents again But you imagine being isolated by the people who raised you because they're lying to each other Yeah, and nothing has nothing to do with you,
Starting point is 01:00:06 but their lack of communication and like honesty. What a bombshell of like, oh, you guys are stupid and like really mean to each other and to me. Well, moving on. That was one of the most wild ones I've read. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's unfortunately really funny.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Like very dark, but very funny. Like the reveal of like, oh, you guys are both this stupid. Yeah. It's like you got dumped at a restaurant and you're like, that restaurant broke my heart. Yeah. Honey, that didn't even get. We're never going to Olive Garden again.
Starting point is 01:00:41 It wasn't that cheating didn't even happen at the place. I know. No, there's so many layers of it not making sense. Also obsessed with the woman in the hotel that goes through his faunces, baby. Obsessed with her. Who was doing her a solid, by the way. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Obsessed with her. No, the housekeeper is a legend. She was like, hey, by the way. Yeah, just so you know. I clocked this. I'm curious how she came across the other contact. I know, she was going through it. What was the mom under, like wife?
Starting point is 01:01:08 Like how would- Probably her name. But how would the person know that that's- It's probably a scandalous text under a different name. Yeah, it had to have been pretty obvious. Yeah. Oh, if I was in people's hotel room, I would read their phones too.
Starting point is 01:01:24 And you know what, can I say something too? It actually makes sense that the evidence would be so obvious because it was probably obvious during it and the mom is just like not like acknowledging it because if after getting caught, she's not mad at him. Yeah, and I. She's mad at everything else. He knows like he can get away with it.
Starting point is 01:01:43 He's probably continued to have affairs since. I bet, I hope that, they would make more logical sense if their blowout after this happened at Disneyland, that blowout that happened either in the parking lot or just associated with that place was so bad and so hurtful to both parties that they were like, we won't go back here anymore. Still though, that doesn't-
Starting point is 01:02:06 Why does that affect the daughter? No, 100%, 100%. It's great. I'm now imagining just other, if it wasn't a housekeeper or someone else, which is like, Gorsh, your husband's cheating on you. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:18 There you go. Tug on the seatbelt while you're ready. You're fucking, I don't know. All right, we're gonna be pulling the seatbelts and who's that contact on the phone? Ooh, yikes, all right. Oops, okaybelt while you're ready. You're fucking, I don't know. All right, we're gonna be pulling the seatbelts and who's that contacting on the phone? Ooh, yikes, all right. Oops, okay. And you're off. Pfft.
Starting point is 01:02:29 Okay, moving on to our final story here. Wow, okay. This comes from Best of Editor Updates, just so you know. The title, Need a Fake Kid to Piss Off My Wife. That's awesome. Oh yeah. I'm in. I'm in, man. I'm so in. That's awesome. Oh yeah. I'm in. I'm in, man. I'm so in.
Starting point is 01:02:47 It's a Robin Williams movie and I'm watching it. Yeah. My wife and I are watching Elf together and we saw the part where Buddy's real dad tells his wife about Buddy and his wife gets excited about this surprise adult kid that pops into their life from a time before they knew each other.
Starting point is 01:03:01 I point out to my wife that it's a little unbelievable that she would immediately be on board. I then comment that she, my wife, would actually be mad at me in this situation, even if I genuinely did not know this kid existed and it was conceived before I had met her. She denies it, but I know my wife. We're in our early 40s and have been married
Starting point is 01:03:20 for 10 years together for 12. So I need a 20ish kid to knock on the door and tell me they're my kid and that they just wanted to meet me. Gotta be convincing and really talk about how your mom and I were once really happy before she died of something tragic. I'm fucking in, I'm 20ish.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Dealers choice. I'll do it. Dealers choice of death, he says. Throw me in. Job pays $100, gender, race, etc. don't matter so long as you can pass for early 20s. Shouldn't take more than an hour of conversation then you get a call or something and have to leave. I wanna do this soon after the new year.
Starting point is 01:03:56 You come up with the backstory and I'll play along. I'll give you a little info up front after you take the job. This is- Has the job already been filled? This is awesome. I think the story already happened. There's some comments here. This sounds like a bad idea,
Starting point is 01:04:09 but please post a follow-up once you go through with it. OP says, worst case scenario, okay, yeah, this could go badly, but sometimes being right in a marriage is worth it. Someone said, I don't think this is one of those topics. No, I don't think that's a quote. No, I don't think anyone's ever said that before. I don't think anyone's ever said that one. I don't think anyone's ever said that one.
Starting point is 01:04:26 That's like some guy's stand-up tagline for his tour. Sometimes being right is worth it. Yeah. Divorced the comedy special. Someone said, LMAO, this is a terrible idea, but I'll do it, mid-20s. Producer note, lots of similar comments to that one. This subreddit is rharrisonburg,
Starting point is 01:04:46 so it is posted in a local subreddit. There's a subreddit for just about every city in town, right, so you can post there being like, hey, say people post on subreddits being like, oh hey, I have a spare guitar I'm trying to sell, anyone here wanna buy it, or you can do anything. Or like, I'm trying to organize a thing this weekend here. So this is what this guy's trying to do.
Starting point is 01:05:05 He's trying to find someone in his town to be his child. Okay, update. But first, do you think it's gonna be good or bad? I don't know, that'll be a shame. Kind of both. I think it's gonna be funny. Yeah. Like I think no matter what, it's gonna be funny.
Starting point is 01:05:22 Yeah. Yeah. Like I don't think it's gonna be too bad. Yeah. So the very dramatic naysayers, one of which compared my prank to spousal abuse, several diagnosed me with a number of mental illnesses and at least as many said I was childish and cruel.
Starting point is 01:05:38 To you I say, you're probably right. However, na na na boo boo, stick your head in doo doo. This guy's awesome. This guy's awesome. This guy's sick. We've been married for a decade. We know each other well enough to know what's over the line and what's funny. That said, it was harder than I thought
Starting point is 01:05:53 to secure a fake child. Sure, I had a large number of interested parties and even a couple of fabulous candidates, one of which actually looked enough like me that I started wondering if one of you got to my wife and were pulling the ultimate Uno reverse card on my prank. Oh, that's in the movie too. Unfortunately, interested and committed
Starting point is 01:06:11 are two very different things. Multiple potential sons and daughters made it to the planning stage and found one reason or another to bail out. Let me be clear, I do not blame these folks at all. I don't think I'd have the courage to send the first DM, let alone actually go through with the prank orchestrated by a complete stranger. But I did find a suitable actor with the courage to come through and I still think it was money well spent. So here's a
Starting point is 01:06:31 synopsis of how it played out. No, there's not a video. Saturday afternoon, my doorbell rang. My dog lost his mind as he is one to do. And my wife answered the door since I had pretended to take a call moments earlier. My son, looking about 20 to 25 taller and better looking than I, asked if I was home. My wife motioned to me. I had conveniently just ended my fake phone call and I came to the door. My son, who even shared my first name, his idea, not mine, said he had something kind of strange to talk to me about. I asked if he wanted to come in, which literally almost blew the whole thing
Starting point is 01:07:06 because I would sooner saw off my own foot than invite people in my house. But my wife didn't think much of it. We came to the living room, I offered him a drink, he declined. My son is an excellent actor, by the way. He would later say it was the anxiety of the situation and not wanting to mess up
Starting point is 01:07:21 that made his nervous demeanor so convincing. This is from memory, but it's pretty much everything. I'll let my son chime in with details should he feel like outing himself. Do you remember old ex-girlfriend I mentioned at least once in my 10 year marriage in front of my wife? Yeah, that's my mother. It was my wife who reacted first with, oh, no way.
Starting point is 01:07:42 So I looked at her feigning ignorance and then back at my son and said, is she okay? Yeah, she's fine. That's not why I'm here. My wife was nearly busting out of her chair, totally engrossed and completely consumed with two strong theories. One, her husband had a long lost son.
Starting point is 01:08:00 And more importantly, two, her husband hasn't figured out yet that he has a long lost son. So I say, out with the kid, what's going on? He goes, I'm 22 years old. My wife's eyes essentially bugged out of her head, having now confirmed her theories in her mind. She looks at me, seemingly annoyed that I hadn't put these obvious puzzle pieces together
Starting point is 01:08:19 and interrupts my fake kid. Nearly laughed, but I held it together. I think he's telling you that he thinks you're his father. My acting is not so great, but I gave it a shot with, wait, what? My look of shock could use some work, but it played out for the audience. My son looked at me, she's right,
Starting point is 01:08:36 and I'm not here to ask for anything. In fact, I don't have a lot of time to stay, but I just wanted to meet you and maybe exchange numbers. So I said, this is a lot to take in. I knew your mother a long time ago and she never said, I mean, I didn't know him. I'm paraphrasing, but this kid deserves an Oscar. She never told you, she only told me on Christmas morning.
Starting point is 01:08:56 She didn't say anything bad about you, just that it was over and she was already dating my dad when she found out she was pregnant with him. So I say, wait, does your dad know? He goes, of course, and I've always known he wasn't my biological father. He's a great dad, but lately I've been wondering who my real father was, so I asked my mom and she told me.
Starting point is 01:09:13 Well done. I say, wow. I freely admit I had the easy part. My wife, not saying anything, just taking it all in. Not much else to tell in terms of the production. We exchanged numbers, then he got his own fake phone call reminding him he was late for something or other, and I walked him out.
Starting point is 01:09:29 The rest of the production was just my wife and I. I came back to the living room doing my best bewildered act. We talked about it, covered things like paternity tests, et cetera. And it turns out I was way wrong. My wife wasn't mad, miffed, or even slightly annoyed. She was full on amazed, excited,
Starting point is 01:09:48 and entertained by the whole thing. Is she doing this on purpose? I waited a few hours before I fessed up, but before I did, she kept saying how cool it was that I might have a son. When I told her it was all a bullshit lie I made up to prove a point, she laughed, a lot. I can't decide what amused her more,
Starting point is 01:10:03 the effort I put into the ruse or the fact that I ended up proving her right in the process. Here are a couple gems from the wife after I told her the truth. Where the hell did you find that guy? I'm glad your son wasn't a serial killer. I might have been mad if he came here looking for money. Next time you can save $100 and just assume you're wrong.
Starting point is 01:10:21 You know I'm going to get you back, right? The last one has me a little worried. That is it. End of story. Shane? Yeah? Is there another update? There's not another update. What are you worried about?
Starting point is 01:10:33 I want the revenge. It worked out. Well, we might get a Reddit story eventually from this guy. Oh, wow, that'll be awesome. This woman is awesome. She's awesome, yeah. She sounds like a really dope girl. Their marriage sounds really fun, too. She sounds like a really dope, dope woman.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Their marriage sounds really fun too. The fact that you're like, like I want in, like are they looking for a third or what's the? There is something sweet, there is something sweet about this of like putting this much effort and creativity into just like something in your relationship, right? I think there's something sweet about it.
Starting point is 01:11:05 Of like, oh my gosh, I wanna pull this huge, elaborate prank on just my wife. Like not for another audience, just my wife. I just wanna do this experiment. This wasn't an episode for something? Yeah, it's like, oh you weren't trying to make money off of this? It's like, no, he just really wanted to
Starting point is 01:11:18 like go through a bunch. It sounds like they have a fun dynamic with each other in that way. It's very playful. I honestly can't believe she fell for it because right off that conversation, I feel like I would be like. We don't know how long it took.
Starting point is 01:11:30 It might have been a month or so and you're not gonna think about that. Yeah, especially if the guy did a great job, good for him getting a good actor in there. Yeah. He found someone off Reddit. So that means someone showed up with a fedora and a katana. And they're like, I'm thinking you're my father.
Starting point is 01:11:50 Yeah, I'm about 22 years old. But honestly, you heard it there first. You can book acting gigs off of Reddit. Wow. Yeah. If you're in Harrisonburg, Virginia, there's acting opportunities. Just for local listings. That's so funny. Yeah, it's great stuff.
Starting point is 01:12:08 Well, this has been a blast. Thank you for having us. Thanks for being here. I always say thank you like you invited us. You didn't. Okay. Damn. Okay, well.
Starting point is 01:12:19 All right. Well, that was funny. It was like funny, like, ha, peak behind the curtain. I'm never going to Disneyland again. Yeah. I can't get over that. Well, thank you both for being here. And I should say, keep an eye out on the Smosh socials. Check out the Smosh Instagram this week.
Starting point is 01:12:35 Keep an eye on it. There might be some fun Reddit updates about our show. I just keep an eye on it. I don't know. Something special might be coming. but we'll see you next Saturday Goodbye

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