So True with Caleb Hearon - Alex English is Still in Show Business

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

Welcome back! This week’s guest is the hilarious Alex English! Alex and Caleb talk everything from getting fired from SNL, a four wheeler accident, the Malice at the Palace, Facebook groups, and so much more! We are going on TOUR! Come see So True LIVE in a city near you! Dates/Tickets can be found here: https://www.livenation.com/artist/K8vZ917qN1f/so-true-with-caleb-hearon-events Subscribe to our YouTube channel for full video episodes Join our Patreon for an exclusive extended interview with Alex and other bonus content!   Follow Alex! @alex3nglish Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud There’s nothing dry about Athletic Brewing Co. non-alcoholic brews. Give it a try and head to Athleticbrewing.com/SOTRUE to find it near you! Go to hims.com/SOTRUE for your personalized ED treatment options. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE. Provincetown is always an adventure filled with Pride - Visit ptowntourism.com and plan your trip today!About Headgum: Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com. » SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1  » FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum  » FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/ » FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Since he can't get this right, Alex, take whatever my name was on that line, take your right hand, slap the top of his forehead and wipe your hand down his face. And he can't do anything about it. And you know, at this point, I hate him. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm the only person working in comedy today who's never picked up a skill.

Like, I've never learned how to edit a video. I've never learned how to do a thing. So you weren't on, like, MySpace and doing HTML codes and shit, so you just had a born-ass MySpace page, or you never had one. I never had MySpace. Ha ha ha ha ha! Were you big on MySpace?

I didn't know I was coming here to get disrespected. Ha ha ha ha! And be called old. No, come on! I forget, it is disrespectful for me to have it. The invitation, this invitation for this podcast was disrespectful. You're here to get jumped.

I think the majority of this is gonna be me confronting the fact that I'm a lot older than K. You are not a lot older than me, how old are you? I'm 36. Whoa! Whoo! I'm sorry, I had no idea. I didn't come here to be disrespected.

I got up earlier than I usually do for this. You are up early for this, I appreciate that. I really appreciate idea. I didn't come here to be disrespected. I got up earlier than I usually do for this. You are up early for this. I appreciate that. I really appreciate that. To be called old. You brought this up yourself. I'm turning 30 this week. I could feel it in the initial Discuss- I brought it on my stuff though. You know what you're right. I brought up my space as a thing to bring Us together closer. Yeah, you're like, I don't know well. We got a lot of things. We could be close about There's gay. There's comedy. There's their gay. There's gay

There's gay sometimes for me. Yeah, well you're kind of like that's very Midwestern Yeah, there's gay sometimes, but not like that New York is gay all the time Yeah, and you're from the Midwest you like well. It's not gay all the time. You're one of the most anti-gay people I know. Anti and how? I think everybody has their own interpretation of my anti-antinist. And so what would be yours? Mine is you really are not like,

it really is gay sometimes. I don't think you lead with gay. Thank you. You're quite welcome. But see, but I feel like when you say thank you to that, people kind of get a little irritated. It has a bit of a taste, yeah. Because they're like, oh, he think he,

oh, I'm not one of those gays. No, I just have an attitude problem. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Like, it's not that I think I'm better than anybody. I'm just like, yeah, I'm not gay all the fucking time. Even though I sound as gay as I do, I'm still not that gay. I'm better than anybody. I'm just like yeah, I'm not gay all the fucking time You know how sound as gay as I do. I'm still not that gay You think that's why I think some people would say that's internalized homophobia, and that's okay to have yeah

People bring this up to me as if this is some sort of like flaw But it's like should you love everything about yourself 100% of the time? I don't know if that's healthy. I don't have like a 100% healthy relationship with being black. But it doesn't make me feel like I hate being black. But there are certain things that I'm like, okay, I'm really tired of being black right now. Like if I'm at an event and the SOAX Surf starts happening, I'm like, we need to stop. All right?

This is enough. You don't like the Soag Surf? I'm tired of the Soag Surf. I get tired of being white when the Soag Surf comes on. And I'm tired of ballroom hustling too. Like it's in every television show. It's in every movie. Yeah.

When I saw, I love Easter egg, but when I saw the electric slide happen in insecure, I was like, tell me we not this corny. Just put a sex scene in there in the middle of the park. I'm over the dancing button on black media. We can find another thing. Before I let go, let's let it go. Let's let it go. You're going to have to carry the episode

on being over black stuff. I'll say that. You're going to have to be the one. You're not over some black stuff episode on being over black stuff. I'll say that. You're gonna have to be the one. You're not over some black stuff, can you? I'm not. Hey, absolutely not. Absolutely not, I love it all. It's gonna, that's gonna be most of the-

You love it all. That's gonna be a mostly- You love it all. Outlandish portion of the episode. I'll say that. If you wanna do gay stuff, I can pitch in. But if you're gonna go anti-black, I'm gonna have to kinda let you take the reins a little bit.

That's gonna be more your area than mine. I'm not kinda, probably gonna go in on Issa Rae. 20 black people have already turned to South. No, I'm not gonna be turning on my black fans like that. That'll be a you, a you situation. What are your black fans? Can you describe them? My black fans.

Do they read? I feel like they do. I like my black fans. I love my black fans. Thank y'all for being here. Whatever they're into I like it. Well, come on don't say that. Whoever rocks with me, I rock with them. You have your prejudices. Against black people? Against anything. No, I don't have any prejudices against black people. I was late for this. I don't have a problem saying that. You will never say it, but somewhere in there, he like, you know what, let's carve out,

y'all, you were doing ads when I got here. He like, y'all carved out black time, because it's me, it's Sydney, Marie, it's Amina, it's like, and I make fun of them all the time for being late, and I have my moments, but that's egregious, the way that they're late. And I called them out all the time. I have left Marie before.

It might have been you who said this, but I booked Marie and Sydney to open for me on a show at the Bell House once. When I tell you, I was vamping for 20 minutes. And it might have been you, someone who came to watch, to hang out at the show was like, that's on you for booking this. That's your fault.

You should have consulted with the gay niggas in your life as well, because these black women be showing up late. These not all, these two particular, put a graphic of Marie and Sydney right here. These two black women are notoriously late. And I've told them, I will leave you. Like if it's 30 minutes, I ain't one of these fellas that y'all be going on these dates with Marie.

Okay? I'll leave you. I will leave you. Briefly, Sydney, there was a moment. Briefly, yeah, thank you for acknowledging her heter leave you. Briefly, Sydney, there was a moment. Briefly, yeah, thank you for acknowledging her heterosexuality. Yeah, because it's there. Because it's something I bring up to her often.

And she's not talking about it. She's not talking about it enough. She knows it's bad for the brand. Sydney is the type, like, she knows that when she's in a room full of older black women over, like, 50, that she know most of them are like now baby you what what are you doing wasting all of that being gay yeah like she knows it but when she met my mom I know she was like your mama was looking at me like I kept up on stage saying oh I'm a lesbian I know your mama was like bless her heart like

yeah and city is a lesbian when she was dating guys I never for a moment entertained her being bisexual though that's real and an option. I was like you're just an exhausted lesbian. There is a type of lesbian who gets exhausted of lesbianism and they go, I don't know we're gonna have to try something. And they turned to men for a moment. But she's back on women which I love. Have you been back on women?

Well no, gay guys don't do that. Cause you're like what 25 so you just started being gay yesterday. I just got gay. Gay guys don't do that. When we get exhausted we just keep going. Is that true? We just keep opening grinder, I think. Have you turned to women ever?

No, but I wouldn't be against it. I would. I get kind of mad when women aren't into me. Really? That's where I am right now. You think, okay. Like what's happening? Like, okay, I know I'm gay, but like flirt.

Yeah. Like that used to happen to me, and at some point it stopped. I don't really know why. Women used to flirt with you. Yeah, but in a way that we kind of like knew nothing was gonna happen, but she just wanted to talk to a guy that,

I don't have a problem, I love attractive people, women. But like, flirt with me, give me, play with me a little bit. Sometimes, like, Like, don't just like have me hanging out here. Especially if I'm the only gay dude in a straight place. Like, yeah, I'm over here chilling, you know, and you looking all good.

You know, we in a dive bar watching a football game, and you know those girls that wear the football jerseys that are like, I'm like, you know. They're snatched, yeah. Snatched! Come over here and talk to me really quick, girl. Like, football jerseys that I like. Yeah. They're snatched. Snatched! Yeah. Come over here and talk to me really quick, girl. Like, hair any kind of way.

You might be bi because I'm never wanting this. I'm never wanting a beautiful woman to come to me that way. Bi, I can't, I can't, there's a look attached to bi people now that I don't think fits my aesthetic. What do you mean? Like, there's a look that I feel like I got, if I'm going to claim bi these days, I got to dye my hair a certain color. You would look good with dyed hair.

No, I wouldn't. You would. No, I wouldn't. Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't. Not with the hair I have on my, let's say the hair I have on my head, because I'm losing some of it, okay? You would look good.

So I would look absolutely foolish with blonde hair. every time I see a black dude with blonde hair I'm like this nigga needs a hug there are some black guys with blonde hair that look great Alex I know I wouldn't be one of them I found them I'm into about them I found some where are they there well I already okay, this is what's happening. I already know what Caleb's, what your, your FYP has a look. Really? I think so. What's on my FYP? A lot of photography.

It's like some photography, but it's like the dude, the gay dude, gay bi dude who took the pictures also in the dump with the sunset. Yeah, yeah. Just so you know it's his. Yeah. You gotta like, are they naked? No, they're not. The boys aren't naked on your FYP. Yeah. Just so you know it's his. Yeah. You got to like, are they naked? No, they're not.

Their boys aren't naked on your FYP. I don't think you're like gross. I'm not really. Are you talking about TikTok? No, I'm talking about like on Instagram. Oh, on Instagram. Yeah. What are the pictures, the reals?

Because people get mad about, people get mad at their algorithm. People bring up the algorithm with an attitude like, I can't believe it showed me shaving cream and you know, dogs sleeping on a farm and a naked motherfucker with it. I'm like, that's what you like. That's what you want, yeah, it's really what you like.

You're mad at yourself, you're not mad at the algorithm. It's a mirror. I'm just, I'm my following, I'm just who I follow. And who I follow is just like my friends. So you're not on the FYP? I'm not looking, I'm not, I don't really scroll like that. You don't wanna know the truth? I don't wanna know the truth.

Hey! What are you hiding from? That's one thing, me. Don't ever tell me the truth about me. I'm not interested, I've been saying this. I don't wanna learn anything new about myself. I know plenty and I've gotten, I like this guy. So I'm not digging around,

I'm not looking for any more self discovery. Everyone who wants me to do mushrooms, for what? I don't wanna learn anything else about that, I'm good. Well, mushrooms I don't think are really teaching you anything. That's what all these freaks say. I've never taken a single. I don't know who you talking to. I've never had a shred of mushroom that had me thinking about anything

or that I learned anything. To hear these freaks tell it. I saw shapes and stars for like 30 minutes. I saw shapes. And the house music was a little bit better. They're telling me that mushrooms are gonna unlock a different level of my brain. That's what they're telling me.

Maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe that's what it is. How much are you microdosing? Anytime I've had mushrooms, it's been in like chocolate form. Like rarely have I like taken a little piece from like an actual stem and like ate it, but yeah, every time it's been in like candy form and I'm somewhere where it needs to be happening. Which is a lot of form and I'm somewhere where it needs to be happening. Yeah.

Which is a lot of places. Yeah. I'm somewhere that it needs to be, which is most places I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. Wait, you're from Detroit. Yeah.

Let's get to the basics. Don't talk to me about the lions. Come on now. You're from Detroit. Dude, do you want me to jump out of this building? How are things going? Do you want, oh, from Kansas City. How are things going?

Yeah, cause you know, you know, when I found out I was doing your show, I was ready to come up in here disrespectful, honestly. I was going to have my jersey on. And you know I got buffered a motherfucker's for Christmas. I ain't never had a Lion's jersey a day in my life. I never really needed one, one might say. And who'd you get for Christmas? Jerr Gov.

I got a white man's last name slapped on the back of my... But it's tucked away now And he can't even get to the championship game. Isn't that a shame? I was ready to come in here disrespectful because I knew because when you told me to come up in here I was we still had hopes and dreams and I was like I'm about to walk into this Kansas City Missouri I mean Public figure it's a den. Yeah, it's a fan den in here. It's you it's Heidi Gardner. It is Heidi Gardner It's uh, what's his name? Who's the guy? Oh, we could do this all day long. Who's the guy?

The guy Paul Rudd is the guy any of them. Yeah, there's a lot of us. So it's a squad Yeah, yeah And so I'm like I was so I was ready to come here being like the only Detroit person besides like Tim Robinson and Eminem. Yeah Lions fan base is cool. Well, I have some good y'all some good fun fans. It was just fun because When you've never won the country is behind you The chiefs were bad my whole life when When we first got good, everyone loved us. Now people do not, people hate the Chiefs.

Well, when you win, yes. Yeah, they're mad at us, which I'm cool with. I'm totally cool with it. But you wanna be in that spot at least once. For sure, they're like, oh, you pay the refs? I'm like, sure, I don't care. Yeah, because at this point, this had been the biggest event in Detroit sports

since Metal War Peace knocked punch that fan in the fucking stands. Yeah. And whatever year that was I was there. Oh, oh, you were there. I did go. Oh, my dad, my, my, not my dad, my uncle, my uncle. It was like we were, I was in high school and it happened. Malice at the palace just for anyone, for anyone. Cause you know, this is everybody under the edge of a, this podcast, I assume everybody is 21 everybody is what 21 Yeah, I'm talking about historical events right now. You really have black history over here. I'm a fucking ancestor This is black history. You say again. I came here to be disrespected on a Tuesday Only you have disrespected you you brought up your age you brought up the lions. Okay self-hatred like we say

Alliance. Okay, self-hatred like we said. Self-hatred is real and alive. Malice at the Palace. What date was this? November 19th, 2004. 2004, I was a, was I a freshman? Yeah, no, I was a sophomore in high school. And we, on this day, we had a school field trip to a science center in Ohio that we always drove to. And I, my uncle, he gave me the option, you can stay home and like come with me at the end of the day to go to the game or you're gonna have to go to your field trip and potentially miss going to the game. So of course I'm like, fuck that field trip.

Yeah, we're going to the game. I already been to that bitch, yeah, we good. And I'm like, Ohio, please. If it's not Cedar Point, I don't wanna go to Ohio. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, I just remember being there and I was sitting on the other side

of where the fight happened so I could see the entire thing happening. So it's like, sprayed out. Ooh. And so I just remember, yep, Reinhardt has jumped up. One minute he was in the, they was already having a confrontation from the root of it. And he sat on the comminus box

and it all hell fucking broke us. And I remember not being able to get home until midnight. Really? Because the arena was shut down, the police weren't really letting people in or out at that moment, they were trying to find the motherfuckers who were doing that shit still. So it got crazy and my ghetto ass left every single

You're in the stands like yeah I was having a ball meanwhile my uncle was just sitting there like on his phone like trying to figure out when the fuck we could Leave really yeah seeing that would have been cool. I mean, it truly was like, oh, oh, got to school the next day and was the man all day. Talk of the town, yeah. Toast of the city, yeah. Ask, I heard, like awesome, I heard Alex was at the game, go talk to him when you can find him, like very famous.

Alex threw the first break at Malice in the Palace. Very, more like the first sprite. Yeah, dude. through the first break at Malice in the Palace. More like the first sprite. Oh shit. I was, talk about being the man at school. I mean when you get, you know, you get birthdays at school. You get your mom, your dad showing up to school with McDonald's in the middle of the day. You get those moments sometimes, but rarely do you get to be like, bitch, I was at history last night. Yeah. Yeah. That's huge. That's huge.

I'm trying to think of what were the big, cause there were also those days at school where something would happen that everyone was on about. Like everyone was like something had happened. Well, I had one once, but it wasn't at school. It was in the summer. I got in a four wheeler accident. I wrecked a four-wheeler off a bridge. Okay. Into a brush pile. Lived it, did you suffer any injuries?

Well, my whole body was bruised, but I didn't break anything. I was like trapped under the four-wheeler for a little while. Damn. Yeah, it was crazy. How old were you? I was like 12. Damn, so you couldn't come back with no like,

hey, I'm fucked up, no scooter. You like, no. But I got to talk about it. But you got to talk about it. Yeah. But damn, but you don't get to live the glory. I know, I didn't do anything signed. You had to go to the hospital, you ain't show up with the wristbands from the hospital.

That's how you do it. Oh, you really wasn't selling it. You should have showed up like you was about to sue somebody, you know, like with a fucking neck brace on or something. You didn't want no, you wanted the story, but you didn't want none of like the physical the drama yeah the pageantry the drag I thought it was good I thought my story was gonna be a lot cooler but now and you're right not only do we not get to sue someone they should have sued us because it was someone else's four-wheeler we owe people money so I'm hurt and we owe people money, I got no glory. I got nothing, no lawsuit, no cast. Fuck my drag.

Fuck it. I get nothing. Yeah, I got pneumonia in seventh grade, I remember. And yeah, when you sick, when you like about to die, that's good stuff. You get to miss homework. You're like, okay, don't even worry about turning it in because by the time you get it in,

we'd already been a week out. Don't worry, we'll put a little extra plus sign somewhere where a grade was supposed to be. Forget about it. Because you were about to die. You were on death's doorstep. You don't have to do algebra. Yeah.

Or what are you doing at that age? I don't know. And now you're getting sick and ain't nobody... It's not the same. My favorite thing to do now when I'm sick is to claim that it's allergies. I catch myself, because I believe it. I'll be three days into being pretty sick and I'll be like, fuck my allergies. And I believe it when I'm sick is to claim that it's allergies. I catch myself to it because I believe it. I'll be three days into being pretty sick and I'll be like fuck my allergies and I believe it when I'm saying it but then I get

better on the other side and I'm like so that was the flu you know what I mean like it doesn't make any sense but I think I claim allergies a lot. You know what I've been you know what I caught myself saying during this past illness whatever it was I've just whenever someone asks me are you okay are you sick I'm just like no I just got a little cough. Well, hey, that's what we're worried about. Yeah. It ain't really doing nothing. It's not wet. It's not dry. It's a normal cough. Yeah. I feel like COVID really made it so that people just can't get like lightly sick anymore. There's levels to sick. There's levels to sick. Now it's sick where you just like shut out,

you sweating, you can't have can't breathe. You need to sleep. Now it's sick where you just like shut out, you sweating, you half can't breathe, you need to sleep obviously, you need to drink a whole lot of water, you need some soup. You're laid up. You need to be laid up. And then there's like sick where it's like entry point sick where it's like, oh, I feel it.

I feel a little tickle. I'm drinking, you know, like something with ginger in it. I'm not gonna go too hard digestion wise, just let's just get a little food in me. Let's not, there's first tier sick where it's like, I'm not gonna go too hard digestion wise. Let's just get a little food in me. Let's not, there's first tier sick where it's like, I'm fine. We used to go, we used to like go to work with a little cough. Little cough? It was like, oh, he's got a little cough.

Come on, a little cough. Yeah. A little cough ain't killing nobody. And if anyone reacted to it, they were kind of crazy. Yeah. But do you remember like when, before COVID, I would go to work with a little cough and if someone was like, don't cough near me,

you'd be like, freak. You know what I mean? Like you're like, okay You're too precious to get a cough. I will say though it is still back up off me season Like every every I feel like everybody is back to we're kind of getting back to the whole like Hovering over each other that we don't need like the way it's been happening is crazy and bars And bars, especially lately why I go to plenty bars in New York, right? Tell them.

And, because, alcoholic, like. I have a problem, I'm out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like, not so much so that like, I can't acknowledge space in a place. Yeah. And I go to bars typically when it's not super crowded like that, when I know it's not gonna be crowded like that. So if I know that I'm in a space that has some space,

why am I sitting at the bar and there's three people in the same conversation behind me kind of on top of me and hitting my stool and kind of coats, hair flinging on me and shit? I'm like, I know there's a lot of space in here and everybody can back up. Why? There's a weird sense of crowding happening in spaces that I think people need to be a little more aware of.

I've always felt this way about New York. In public places. The bars and restaurants are so small that it's not that they can't make space, but everyone just immediately is used to being crowded. So they're all they're going together to start with. It's very sheepish. It's small. But it's like, no bitch, there's actually so much space over here. I see two empty seats that y'all could be having this

conversation, but y'all are on top of my back, hitting me with your coat, not including me. And I disagree with a lot of shit y'all saying, because I can hear it. So now we get to the heart of the problem, which is that you want to be included. It's not that they're close to you and you're like, which is that you want to be included. It's not that they're close to you and you're like, they didn't ask my opinion. Now it's my business because it's all up in my space. Now I have an opinion where I wouldn't have had one otherwise. But yeah, I've been noticing that though. I've been like, I get it if it's like very close and it's like very crowded, which bars in the winter team too.

It's cold as shit outside, so everybody wants to be together and create heat. That's okay when it's that. But when it's empty, please back up. Back up. I'm on your team. Yeah. So what's going on with you these days? I mean- You're doing stand-up.

You're not doing SNL anymore. You got out of there. No, no. And you know what? I saw this interview. This is what happens when you get fired from SNL. You just watch every interview that anybody ever when you get fired from SNL, you just watch every interview that anybody ever did

that got fired from there, and you're like, now which one of these moves am I? You know? Am I grateful for the experience? Am I gracious? Am I pissed? Am I depressed? But basically, these are people who, it happens to them.

Was homophobia a foot? Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, that was all on my end. But no, it be... If there was homophobia in the building, it's because you were there. It was because I was there, yeah. No, no, no, that was all on my end. Yeah. But no, it be... If there was homophobia in the building, it's because you were there. It was because I was there, yeah. No, you're right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it fucking, yeah. Sarah Silverman, she said to somebody one time, oh yeah, I got fired and I didn't feel like I was in show business anymore. And I was like, oh, that's kinda how I feel. I'm like, I don't, I'm doing it, but I don't know, like, every day I'm on stage, I'm like, bitch, what I'm doing it, but I don't know like Every day I'm on stage. I'm like bitch. What am I doing this for really?

Kind of get I kind of get out of my head though. Did you like working there? Yeah, really? Yeah, interesting fucking think I was It's a mixed bag. Yeah, 50% and not 50% There's a percentage of people who work there that are like it's cool. I really dig it It's a good experience and then the other people are like it's like get out They're like grabbing you by the lapels being like, please God save me But I would guarantee that 100% almost 100% of the black people as I can speak today Can tell you that they didn't even think that they would be fucking working there Yeah, you think my ghetto ass thought that I was ever gonna be on that show

Really being punk you just say that shit all the time. We should be like, bitch, what the fuck is our ghetto asses doing in the ground? Well, you guys are fucking funny. You should be working anywhere that they need funny people. It's like, if you have been doing comedy and like, you know, cause I mean, I grew up watching like, Def Jam and like the Kings of Comedy

and Comic View and shit like that. So can you imagine when I wasn't working there and then Leslie Jones popped up on screen and I, and I'm like, oh they put big legs They put big legs on SNL when I found that shit cuz like Leslie is like comic view like like reruns I still watch her like when I was like in eighth grade doing stand-up So it's just crazy the way the path the pathway there for so many different people in general But then when I think about just like, the kind of culture I used to consume

was just mainly black TV. So, you know, SNL was always there, but it wasn't like the goal, only because it didn't really seem like it was the goal. So when I got it, I felt real guilty, because I was like, oh, all of these new friends that I made doing standup in like this past decade have been like, I've heard about them auditioning a bunch of times for this, submitting a bunch of times for this, not even sometimes even getting called

to do it. And I'm like, damn, in my ghetto ass got it. You know what I mean? Like they are everybody doing like UCB and second city and all that shit. And I'm like, that just was not the idea that I had, you know, for me. So then when I got it, I was like, yeah, I was a little guilty. I relate to that. The first time I got a screen test, I, growing up, SNL was not a goal for me.

We watched it a little bit, but again, I was mostly watching black comics. I was watching like Monique and Richard Pryor and Bernie Mac. And so SNL to me, a lot of my friends were like, SNL was the dream. And I was like, I really wasn't watching it in that way. And then I got to Chicago and it was everyone's goal.

So then I locked in on it. But when I got my first screen test in like 2019, I felt kind of a similar way where I was like, damn, a whole lot of people want this more than I do. That's how I felt too. And on top of that, when I got to do was the same summer as when I got passed at The Seller. And so that was like crazy because in the same like two and a half, three months that

I had been waiting and thinking about SNL, I started working at the cellar a little bit and then SNL was like, all right, bitch, come into this building, you get off the streets hoe. It's time to be corporate. It's time to get back in the back in a building with the real people. And then it's like, oh okay, now the thing that I had been doing standup for the whole time, because I wasn't writing anything,

I wasn't writing any scripts, so I didn't even know how to fucking put a sketch together. I was like, I truly don't know. So then I'm like, oh I'm away from the cellar now, and now I gotta get used to three to four weeks being out of stand up, having to commit all of my brain power to all of these different types of ideas and these different people and adjusting to the culture of the environment of the place. And then when we're on hiatus is, oh, I have some stand up shows and I'm like, do I even

have an original thought in my head? Yeah. On stage and tell a joke. Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. That's it. That's it was stressful. But hey What's up you guys we're going on tour. I'm so excited We're going to Kansas City st. Louis Indianapolis Atlanta Toronto Detroit Minneapolis Washington DC Charlotte Nashville Austin Seattle Vancouver Portland Denver Houston Dallas San Francisco San Diego Los Boston. Was that impressive or what? I just nailed that shit. We're going to all those cities and more. We announced the tour today and y'all are kicking my ass in the comments. We're trying to add other cities. Relax.

Some of you, it's like, oh, New York, Philly, Chicago aren't on there. We're trying really hard. Then some of you are like, come to Salt Lake City, come to Anchorage. It's like, let's be a little realistic. I love you guys. We're going to try to come so many more places. It's just so many dates and so many other things. I've also got something really special happening this spring that I can't announce yet.

So just, there's other things in the works. Please trust in the process. My goodness. Well, we're going on tour. By the time this episode comes out, the general on sale will be going out the next day. Presale's already happening. Go check my stories.

Go subscribe to the Patreon. If you, we already have early access up there, so we put a lot of stuff on Patreon early, including the merch when we did that, when we do our next merch drop we'll do that. But the point is, we're going on tour. Please come see us live. The confirmed guests we have already are psycho,

fun, and cool. Okay, love you, bye. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Folks, Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. by. Engage with your audience and sell sell sell sell anything from products to content to tickets all in one place all on your terms They have amazing features like Squarespace payments Which is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place and it's so fast and simple All it takes is a few clicks and you can start receiving payments right away Plus give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna,

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I'm like, you know how they say people go to jail and they stay the age they were when they went to jail? When they come out? And I'm sure the producers watching this will be thrilled to hear that comparison. Steve Higgins watching this on his phone like, what? Alex, what? Hey, I'm a black man in America. If you don't know, I know I don't have some sort of comparison to the prison system in this country. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking about it. So you left the show and you said it's feeling different you do you feel like you're not in show business anymore um

Just in a way of I guess when serious when I heard serious say that I kind of it did resonate with me a little Because you do kind of get thrusted back out to like one minute You're like truly making TV every week and now you're just back out on your own like and you know you have everybody telling you Oh that job is like going to do this for you now. It's going to be so good for you. And I mean, I still don't can't see that materialized just yet, but it has also hasn't even been a year. So it's just like, oh, now I got to like go do stand up and just give do more and write more than I was before. Yeah. And now I can. Because that's when that's what you're complaining about.

You know, when you want to do stand up and when you want to put something out, you're complaining about not being able to go up as much. So yeah. Well, also, I think part of working there from the outside perspective, obviously having had many friends work there and still work there is that there's a lifestyle to it. Like there is like, it's the cars waiting afterwards, it's the party, it's the invitations to the things, that like, you will have that on your own, but like, when you're a part of their business, you're just invited to all this stuff and you're puttin' the cars,

and it's the meeting all the famous people and the glamour and stuff, and I'm not saying that you were obsessed with that, but it's like, all that exists outside of that building as well, it's just that you have to build your own business to that level, and that's different and weird. Well, what I think, in comparison to what I know, well, the little, the little,

I guess I know of like what it was like for different people at different times at that show is I think the benefit that I can observe the most is that I was there and this, this part, this era of it still sort of exists with even with me not being there is that a lot of us knew each other before we got to that show, around that time we got there. So like, I knew who, you know, the Please Don't Destroy the Boys were, and Devin, you know, me and Clos, and I had known Ego a little bit outside of it. I had met Punky years before either of us started working there. James, Sarah, Michael, like Marcella, I'd known Marcella for years before we got there. And it's like, oh, all of like Marcello, I know Marcello for years before he got there.

And it's like, oh, all of like the stand-ups since it was very heavy, it's like a lot of stand-ups on the show, very little like, I think they starting to get back into like improv or whatever, but the most part, we were all like people who did stand up in New York. That's why it was just, it made it a lot easier, I think. Or it was just like a different vibe in comparison to that. Because I hear other writers from the past observe it in its present form and in its present culture.

And then there's this comparison of it where we're like, we're not roasting each other to hell all day and giving each other shit about each other's sketches. And it's just like, well, no, this has been my friend for the past seven to 10 years. And we are both in this fucking pressure cooker of a place and so I don't want to make this person jump off the fucking 11th floor that was a big difference between the first time that I screen tested in the second and final time which like when I went in the first time it felt like SNL felt like this mysterious like I was so nervous, I couldn't believe I was there.

Like 30 Rock, I hardly knew anyone who worked there. I barely, I kind of knew Bowen. But I didn't know anyone else. And then the second time I went, I barely went. I said no a couple times. And then I went and I was like, yeah, this place doesn't feel mysterious anymore. I know everybody who works here.

I know these are all buddies of mine or acquaintances. I know how the show works. I know, these are all like buddies of mine or acquaintances I know how the show works I know like yeah The second time it felt more to me like the thing you're talking about where it's like I know everybody here if I worked here It would be honestly because of the people and not because of the institution Yeah, I don't care about the institution of SNL. I like a lot of the people they hire, you know But see here and for me having gone through it I'm like people need to be reminded that this was not part of my plan at all. So I be like, you know, I be seeing some people

talk about certain things that I've written for that show and maybe they didn't like it. And I'm like, and that's where the tough skin comes from. I'm like, honey, I didn't think it was gonna be good either. I just, I just, I didn't have, I didn't walk around there with an ounce of confidence in anything I did, but I was just also like, oh,

this is also not my environment, so this is not my show, this is not my environment, so even if I ever did feel slighted, you know, or, you know, cause sometimes people, what people don't know sometimes is that if you work there, it's kind of expected of you to fight for some things sometimes, like, that you wanna get on the show, or like advocate for some things sometimes like that you want to get on the show or advocate for yourself a lot in that way and I guess

One I never assumed I still had that pass yet to do that No one ever made me feel as like you can storm my office and yell at me about My me taking your thing off TV and I will hear it and I will tell you why I don't think anybody was ever gonna Be that patient with me. Yeah So I just kind of like was always like accepting of just what was around because I was like this I'm not gonna change anything about this place. All I can control is my Experience and response to it. So that just that's just how I move Which is why I was able to like get along with everybody there. Yeah, do you feel like a pretty in life in general?

Do you feel like a pretty Zen person? Do you feel able to accept things as they come? Do you feel? I feel like that's always sort of been my vibe. Like even since high school, everybody, I ain't ever really had no problems with people in high school. Nobody. I had to check one person and I was like, you know, that's not. Oh, I would kill to have been there. I think per, you know what's funny? Per middle school, high school, and even college, just that there's been, I've only had to check three men. All of them have been men, straight men in the past. But you know, let them know that look, I fight.

See that's the other part. I swing and I hit. It really does, Caleb, I really wanna tell you, like it plays into, even us talking about SNL, I was saying about me and Puggy, I'm like, listen, what people don't know is that, before I started standup, I used to be like, I used to really be out here living life crazy.

I used to get in fights and bars. I used to really be promiscuous and really, if Bad Girls Club did go gay, I wouldn't have been doing standup, I would have been a fucking trash reality TV dude fighting on TV. I auditioned for the real world once. And I was like, and I got suspiciously far.

Yeah. Yeah. I got far enough that I knew something was up with me. Yeah. They wouldn't let a well person get this far. I mean, I passed the psychology exam, but they were like, they were like goading me into being like, oh come out on TV. And I'm like, well I don't know if that needs to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll fight, but I don't know about coming out.

They'll see based on how I fight that. They'll get the hint right there. They'll see that wrist have to straighten up to connect the punch though now Who did you have to you went to Central Michigan? Yeah, you study journalism. I study journalism Who did you have to check at Central Michigan University? Oh shit. Okay, so who all right? I'm not even gonna go say you honestly this this okay This you know who you are this happened earlier Like to two Christmases ago, I noticed it. So there's someone who harbors resentment, not towards me, but towards a lot of people

that I was in college with from when I was in school. This gentleman, you know, he was always sort of, when you're in college it's different. You're in your, you know, because high school was like, okay, you're in your groups and that stuff, but if you're in like a party school like Central, Central's not a huge school, especially if you're like in a black community setting. So a lot of black students got together around this time and decided we were all going, you know, do the whole looking out for one another, but you know what happens. Financial aid happens. People get kicked out. People get pregnant, people make bad decisions.

Is Central Michigan a PWI? Yes. Okay, right, right. So there's, imagine. I was like, I don't think that this is. It's not, it's where Michigan's C students go to get a higher education. I was a B, but a close C, B minus C. I was a terrible, but a close C, B minus two. I wasn't terrible, but I was in attendance.

So, you know, there are certain, anybody knows, and this isn't even like black on a PWI, let's give you anybody, you know that when you're in school, there are like subsections of friends and groups that break off into their own little groups and things happen and maybe somebody drops out, maybe somebody's still, but there is this group of college students who they quietly drop out

or can't afford to stay at the school or whatever the context is, it can be a little neat things. But if you're still hanging around the campus while everybody else is sort of like at school and then you're only just kind of like around when it's time to like go out and we don't know if you go, Oh, okay. But you got a job in the city of the, you haven't gone back home. Now you're living off campus because you can't live on campus because you're not a registered

student. Yeah. Which no one's, it's, it's never really any shade when that happens. At least never on my end. And I would not feel like it like, cause I understood very shade when that happens. At least never on my end. I didn't feel like it. I understood very well that college was a difficult thing for people to go through and people don't have the funds for it and people don't have the family support for it. Or they just can't see. Some people, truly college is not for everybody.

Some people just need to put the book down after high school and figure it out. Because that's just the case. But I feel like- It also doesn't need to be for everybody. It's not a bad thing. It's like it's an unnecessary hassle for a lot of people. Yeah. Exactly. Go do something else. So even though, so I'm saying all of that

because there was one gentleman who was this, this was his experience. You know, this is what was happening. He was beginning to just be the guy that was around and the rest of us. We'd also pledged a fraternity together, unsuccessfully. Yeah, okay. You and this guy.

Me and this gentleman. Now, this dude always had, had, always had a really had a chip on his shoulder for a great deal of the time that we were even when he was even registered in the school. He just had a hard time. I wasn't as close with him but I wasn't even like, I'm hanging out with, there's a group of us and all of us are homeboys and I went to high school with some of these guys and he got to know some of my friends. I'm like, okay.

But he always kind of had a, he never really quite was homophobic outwardly. He never said anything. But I know he had whatever thought. I know he was calling me a in his head. I know. You know that attitude of dude who's like, I don't know why everybody like this dude.

He gay as hell, but I'ma still hang around because I got an attitude. Cause I'm getting along. I noticed the vibe was that a lot of the time. I'm like, oh, you're mad because I'm really shiny. You know what I mean? I am up here looking. You know, I'm fun, I'm drunk.

People like me. People like me. Yeah. And you are a little bit of a clout. So we end up on the same line of this fraternity that we were trying to bring to this school, I don't know why. But then at one point, now, you know, we're on the same line of this fraternity that we were trying to bring to this school, I don't know why. But then, at one point, now, you know,

we're on the line, we have to like, recite information, you know, we have to like, you know, it's all memorization. Now I mean, I know my founders, okay? I know, I know. I'm gonna use the test. Number one through 13 and then backward, like I know what to do.

This is not hard, a dummy Number one through 13 and then backward. Like I know what to do. This is not hard. A dummy can get through this line. Right. I'm number two and then he's number three because he's like slightly taller than me. Constantly messing up. Constantly messing up. Most of the written work,

most of like the things we have to remember him do, he just could not. And I'm like, well, this is why you, yeah. You should, this is, I see how you dropped out. You don't have comprehension. You can't even retain. That's just retaining. Okay, all right.

One night we have to recite, he's fucking up, fucking up. At one point, one of the big brothers comes up to me. He says, since he can't get this right, Alex, take whatever my name was on that line, take your right hand, slap the top of his forehead, and wipe your hand down his face. And he can't do anything about it. And you know, at this point, I hate him.

Yeah. You're like, hey, if that's what has to be done. He couldn't even get the question out. I slapped him so fucking hard because I'd been wanting to do that. Both on while we were pledging a fraternity and then why he couldn't do nothing about it. Now here's the thing, nothing ever happened. Right.

Nothing ever happened after that. And I'm like, oh, that's crazy. Because I would have swung on me. Yeah. That's crazy because I would have beat my ass. Or like, at least when we left, I would have had to see me for that. So that's that part of it. Now, he's someone that after people have graduated,

we're all gone. People are starting families, starting careers, moving on with their lives after being at this school. I had noticed, a lot of us had noticed a lot of erratic behavior on Facebook, just like a lot of us had noticed a lot of erratic behavior on Facebook. Just like a lot of, if you went to CMU, if you went to CMU between the years, oh seven and 2010, 2011, yeah, you a bitch ass nigga

and you wasn't real. None of y'all was, all of y'all was fake and phony pretending to be. Meanwhile, people have gone off and gotten married from that time period when I was there. People have like started lives, gotten careers and doing well for themselves. And I just was like, damn this mother... for years he'd be doing this, these type of messages, whatever. And everybody else that hung out with us noticed it too.

It's like he is spinning the fuck out, bro. To get a whole four years of a university and be like, everyone 2007 to 2010 was fake is crazy funny. It's crazy. That's so funny. Because it's like, oh, you were also mad at incoming freshmen. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's like, yeah, they're surpassing. So fast forward, or shit, rewind, to two Christmases ago, I'm at home in Detroit bored on Facebook with my dad or whatever. I'm scrolling on Facebook. I'm on this dude's page. I'm like, oh, okay, let's see. I'm scrolling, I haven't seen his page in a while,

so I'm like, let's see if he went off again at some point. Is he still alive? I was doing that type of scrolling. But I look and I see he has a daughter. And I was checking in, I'm like, oh, I'm ready to give him his props. I'm like, look at him, look at him getting his life together. He has a daughter and I was checking in, I'm ready to give him his props. I'm like, look at him, look at him getting his life together.

At least he found something, some calmness to his life, some quiet, some sanity. I scroll and this had gone, this had been, I had scrolled far enough where I had went back a couple years, a couple years ago. So you painting him as a crazy person and being like, so I'm four years deep in his Facebook. No, no, wait.

I just happened to slide on a post and see he had posted, I guess he had just finished watching pause with Sam Jay on HBO. Now his review, it's trash. That's his review. That's his opinion. His American given opinion. But then he follows that with, and I know why it's trash too, because there's a nigga I see there that wrote on the show and he wasn't funny in school either. Dang, that's probably you, huh? It's absolutely. Shot straight to the fucking gun. Two in the chest, one in the head.

Straight, pow pow. So I was like, I was like, oh. I literally was just scrolling being like, oh, look at his cute daughter. I'm so happy, happy for him. And I get shot in the fucking head immediately. So I was like, so I screenshot it. Now mind you, I do look crazy

because I'm like, oh, I went all the way back to like, whenever we shot that, 2021 or something, 2020. But I reposted it on my page. Mind you, he's still friends with me on Facebook. Did you tag him? I didn't even tag him, because I just, you know, I was like, hey guys, look, I became a victim of the rampage that happens every fucking year

of this man's life I cannot believe I yeah I didn't know he harbored this kind of feeling to me when I tell you Everybody that I went to school with everybody that knew me in college was just piling on Talking about how he misspelled shit in the post And so, you know I did eventually end up tagging him because he said he saw the post and then ended up like how many and so I just was like, you know, I did eventually end up tagging him because he saw the post and then ended up commenting. And so I just was like, you know, bro,

I really didn't know that that's how you felt about me. It's totally fine, but don't worry, we are all proud of you and your Jordans. Because he had just posted a picture of some new Jordans he bought from Foot Action or whatever the fuck. And I just was like, yeah, we're all, yeah. I mean, if that's what you're-

Everyone's really excited for you. Everybody is really happy for you, but I truly was shell shocked at the fact that I got hit like that right after being like, oh, he like, you know, he's a family guy now. Like, look at him getting his life together. And nope, I'm a bitch ass nigga.

Your shoes are ugly. And I'm not funny. Your daughter's ugly. Your life is ugly. I was gonna be proud of you, but no, not now. I was over here happy for her, but yeah. You know what I feel the worst for in that story is Sam Jay. Sam's so funny and just caught a crazy stray. Just caught a crazy stray from this guy on Facebook.

But it's my fault. That's what he said. He said it was my fault. Okay, so actually Sam comes out clean in that. Sam, you're good. Keep it up. That is so fucking funny, Alex. Man, so yeah, CM, you, but yeah, other than those, other than those sort of moments, I got along, that was always every, you know what my life has always been even since like, yeah,

since like middle school, everybody comes to me and tells me their gossip and their business about other people, and then they always used to be like, Alex, don't say anything. I know you talk to everybody. So I would be like, then why the fuck are y'all telling me this shit? If you know I'm gonna tell.

But I'm not though. That's the other thing too. They would like say these things as if I'm supposed to remember who said what. That was me in high school. Everybody gossiped to me. And I never really was someone who was passing around. I'd be like, so at a certain point,

people will forget that they told me about something else. And I'm like, you're basically telling them yourself at this point, because you just forgot that you told me something about somebody else that I wasn't supposed to know. So you just spread this gossip so much. That it already got to you, so it's not even news to me anymore. Yeah, and those are just the teachers.

That's so funny. Those are just not even news to me anymore. Yeah. And those are just the teachers. Now imagine what the students were doing. Listen, there's a couple, there's like a man, does your school have scandals? Cause we got, my school has, my high school has scandals that are still not, there's some open cases. We had a, we had a physics teacher that died recently, but once he died, somebody was in the alumni page like, all right, peace to this teacher. And they were like, immediately the comment section was like, I'm not gonna miss this fucking creep ass. He used to look down my shirt when I was fucking 15 years old.

We had one of those. And it's multiple, I mean, it's really, but you know what's crazy is that alumni, this is why I'm never involving myself in an alumni situation, anything with my high school. Stop emailing me, stop pinging me on Facebook. I'm not doing this, if it's not with my class, who I went with, who I feel like I can talk to and be reminded of things.

These, like when that physics teacher died, a lot of the alumni from, because my high school has been around since like, I think like the 1970s or something like that. All of like the students who are like fucking in their 60s now, who were like in school in 1974, are like, you guys need to respect elders. Defending him in death after multiple women are like,

he touched me, he made me feel uncomfortable. So it's like generationally, the alumni pages, we gotta stop those. Yeah. We gotta stop those because 80s, babe, like the Gen X who went to high schools and like, I'm not doing that. On that same page, a freshman at the current, at the school currently made a post that was like,

on behalf of the class of fucking what, where are we at this point? 2020, 2029, 2029, 2030. On behalf of the class, presently at this high school, we don't feel supported by the alumni addressing us. Grown ass people. They're whipping y'all into shape. They say, come on, let's go. And also I'm like, I don't recall people from the class

of 97 pulling up to my high school being like, do y'all need books? Do y'all need new lockers? So bitch, who are you talking to? Who are you talking to? You're beefing with a 15 year old. I mean, I didn't comment. That is the crazy part.

I didn't notice like full on motherfuckers my age and older arguing with this little girl. It's like, this is illegal. This is illegal. Stop talking to this little girl. Stop it. She does not know what she's doing. She doesn't know what she's talking about.

Just ignore her. This is illegal. How do you even have access to the alumni page? You are still in the fucking school. Get out of here, girl. We gotta get these kids off the internet. It's crazy. It crazy to observe i have a question for you alex yeah what's so true to you what's so true yeah is that nothing really has to matter that much period by the way period yeah, tell them.

Cause that is true. That was, that's how I've been feeling. I think it came out. Nothing matters that much. Cause I really didn't come with that prepared. That's what I brought with me on my heart. Nothing matters that much. In a time where,

in a time where everything really does have to matter to everybody at every moment, at every second, you have to always be thinking about everything that the next person cares about. And I'm like, y'all are asking a lot of each other. Like these next four years, I'm not doing it. And I'm not gonna be made to feel guilty by not doing it. When I say not doing it, I think a lot of people

understand exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not consuming it. I'm not letting anything that's happening down there in Washington D.C. It doesn't mean I don't care. But I'm not. I truly believe that this motherfucker wants us to all be as ugly as he is.

And I'm only talking aesthetically. I'm just saying he wants us to lose hair, he wants us to make our skin orange, he wants us to look as ugly as he presents himself Yeah, and I'm like I refuse to do that. I'm not getting no more my hair. I'm not doing this time I'm not getting exhausted and then tapping out of everything that's not because that's what people accuse you of when you say something They go. Oh you so you're just gonna be privileged and not care no in fact I am saying tapped into the things I'm already tapped into I know where I donate I know who I help I know how I spend my time I'm not gonna do the resistance thing every fucking day of

being like five reasons that trumps whatever I'm not doing it I'm focused cuz I'm like bro I did a lot of them protests when they first started popping off and I was like the same shit is still happening yeah I don't think anybody really cares if we are here up and down. I'm just trying to stay safe. I'm trying to stay free and I'm trying to I'm just trying to not let every I'm not learning nobody's name. I'm sorry. I'm not learning. And I'm saying I don't care the czar of bridges. I'm not learning all of them. I refuse to because it'll just keep driving me crazy because then it's like, well now I gotta spend my time looking that shit up.

Who are they with? Are they married? Yeah. I gotta get into they tea. Yeah. Because fuck politics, doesn't it seem like every politician that happens that comes up in prominence now, there's always like, okay, now here's the tea with them, but it's never what they voted on.

No. It's just- His wife is the daughter of so and so and it's like, fuck, now I here's the tea with them, but it's never what they voted on His wife is the daughter of so it's like fuck now. I know family business Yeah, none of us should know Marjorie Taylor Greene's business. Yeah, cuz it's uninteresting. We should know anything about her Okay, her elbows reach her her earlobes. Okay, great. I guess When whatever and okay, yeah her be And whatever. And okay, let her be. Dude, God. I don't want to talk about her. These fucking freaks.

I just can't believe it. It's a freak show. It's a freak show over there. Yeah, which is why it's just like, you know what, I gotta watch more television. Yeah. I've been watching Cheers. Really? I've been watching.

That was crazy to hear just now. I've been watching Cheers, dog. And I'm just like, damn, they was out here fucking going for it in one location. You talking like five whole seasons where they just never left this bar and it was like, damn, the budget was cute. They got paid probably because they didn't have to go no damn way. That is a cute budget.

Just put these motherfuckers in this bar and let these two straights lead Let's show me long and ten dancing here take this shit out of you for five They tried to make me turn to the internet tried to make me turn on that Inauguration and I was like no I'm watching cheers. No, you didn't tap in for the Years dog you didn't tap in for you on doing a how high Hitler, bro I'm letting real pearl mean say the wildest shit to me in the afternoon. Rita Perlman's in your ear.

Rita Perlman is who I'm getting ready to be, and from Cheers is who I'm getting ready to be these next four years. How so? Mean to everybody. And you know what? I'll be here for it. Alex, we have a segment for you. Are you ready for this?

Let's go now. Here's what's happening. I'm gonna read you 15 statements You're gonna tell me quickly if you think they're true or false Alex if you get ten or more correct I'm gonna give you 50 US dollars. This is a huge day. You know, I need a there's a huge game Free you ready? We would never attack you on it. You ready? Okay, giraffes have no vocal cords Giraffes have no vocal cords Giraffes have no vocal cords true. That's true. Lake Michigan is the largest Great Lake true false. Oh like superior. I wanted to be so bad Leonardo da Vinci discovered that a tree's rings reveal its age

False true Jared Goff is 35 years old. False. False, he's 30. Uh-huh. Look at me. Look at what I know! Oh no! Oh no! I'm bein' oh my god, I'm bein' typecast as high as I can see! Dumb idiot guy. Cheerophobia is the fear of music.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, false. False, it's happiness. The Detroit Lions were once the Portsmouth Spartans. True. That's true. Yeah, mountain lions can whistle True true tomatoes have more genes than humans false true Michigan. My Michigan is the state song of Michigan Why you playing with me? Boss true Uh, uh, uh, false. True.

Oh, shit. I never knew what the fucking name of the song was. Pluto has a larger surface area than Russia. Uh, uh, true. False. Arkansas has the only active diamond mine in the United States. That feels true. That is true.

Okay. Central Michigan University's motto is wisdom virtue friendship Motto or fuck I'm gonna say true Fire up the fire up chips. That's the real motto. That's the real motto. There are more real flamingos in the world than plastic flamingos They feel like they flamingos feel like they about to be extinct so false false. Yeah Instagram was created in 1999 as a Photoshop website False false 2010. Yeah, the show friends never won an Emmy True false. Oh, I thought that was

Right there that's racist ass friends question. You're watching Cheers. You know. Don't talk to me about white programming. You gleefully brought up Cheers to me. Trying to corner me. You tried to get me to denounce my black fans and then you tried to come for me when you're bringing up Cheers. Don't start with me.

Knock it off immediately. I'm trying to bring you over to the right. You can't. Trying to, yeah, you're trying to take me down a YouTube radicalization rabbit hole. Oh my god. Alex, what's uh, you got any tour dates or anything coming up that you want to promote? Yes, um, when it, you know, I hate this question on podcast because it seems so tacky when people be like, when is this coming out? No, but it's a good question. This one's coming out this week. Okay. Amen., on February 3rd at eight o'clock,

I'm doing a show called Alex English's A Night of a Thousand Niggas. And it's a marathon of, it's just a marathon of black people doing standup at the second city, it's in Williamsburg. It's going, I don't know how it's going to happen. That's the best show. But it's gonna be a lot of black people very like two minutes

Let's go and people are gonna burn the light. Obviously. Yeah, I don't know. I know some people who are coming I don't I got some maybes Those maybes are really like fun. Yeah, those are the girls maybes are really fun. Yeah, so I Am very excited to do that to start off black history month. So I am very excited to do that, to start off Black History Month. I just wanted some shit to do. I was like, let's get every black person I can possibly get in New York to go come up here

and do stand-up. So, February 3rd. February 3rd. February 3rd. And then February, listen, I should always be ready to do this and I'm never ready for it. Because we gotta get it right.

February 17th at 730 at the bell house, I'm doing Alex and the Homies. And I'm experimenting with like a late night style thing here. That's what it is. I haven't gotten a call. That's so interesting. Don't worry because there's a plan. There's a plan in place. God is in control God is in motion that you can't even imagine. Yeah. Yes, you guys just make sure you pull up to the bell house

Do you want to do it? I don't know if I'm in town I do want to do it Hopefully I'm on this show right? I'm like, oh, are you are you in town? I can never get, yes, we'll, we'll. I'm gonna tell you right now. This won't be the first. Okay. I'm gonna tell you right now if I'm in town. Put it out there.

Cause I would love to interview, put you in the hot seat. I don't know if I'm going to be in town, but I'll tell you who's going to be really upset if I'm not in town. Who? Devin Walker. Cause I'm supposed to do his, I'm supposed to do something with him that day. So. So I need to be in town.

So you do need to be in town. So we'll hold, we'll hold. We'll put a little placeholder for Caleb. A little maybe Caleb. Yeah. Maybe Caleb for February 17th. I love the bell house. At the bell house, 730. A special guest to be announced soon, but maybe Caleb, but there's another one also. Two special ones. There's gonna be some good ones. And there's gonna be music. Yeah. And so yeah, I am very excited to do that one also. Both of those shows I'm really excited to do because I'm just, I'm like, busying myself with stuff.

And I think this Alex and the Homies will be like a monthly thing that I like do every month. Which is what monthly means. I'm so excited. It'll be a monthly thing which, oh sorry, we're all do it every month, guys. I'm just kinda stepping that out a little bit. I'm so excited.

Thank you for being on the show. Thank you. We love you. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you. Thank you for being here. And you know, we did it. That was a headgum podcast. Hi guys. I'm Ego Wodim. Check out my new show. Thanks dad. Now on headgum. I was raised by a single mom and I don't have a relationship with my dad and spoiler. I don't think I'm ever going to have one with him because he's he's dead but but I promise you that's okay because on my new podcast I sit down with father figures like Bill Burr, Kenan Thompson, Adam Pally, Hassan Minaj, Tim Meadows, Andy Cohen and

many many more I get to ask them the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad like how do I know if the guy I'm dating is the one? Or how can I change the oil in my car? Can you even show me that? Or better yet, can you help me perfect my jump shot? I am so bad at basketball. Oh my gosh. Maybe I'm bad at basketball because I don't have a dad. But subscribe to Thanks Dad on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday.