So True with Caleb Hearon - Drew Afualo Can Get Anyone

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

We're thrilled that y'all decided to stop by! This week's guest is the hilarious Drew Afualo! Drew and Caleb talk about planes, football, their favorite comedy movies, and so much more! See Caleb on Tour! https://calebhearon.komi.io/Join our Patreon! https://patreon.com/SoTruePodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! https://youtube.com/@sooootruepod?si=K41Nxm4C7XWTC86OFollow Drew! @drewafualo Follow The Show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthingsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I've said this before, I don't mind a guy being short. I'll put him in a cage on my pocket like Mulan with the cricket. I will carry his little ass around. It's not a problem to me. Do you think you would survive in war? I wouldn't. Oh, beyond belief, yes. And not because I have any skills.

I think about the apocalypse a lot because it's near. Yeah. And I am like, I don't have any skills. I have no trades. But what I the apocalypse a lot because it's near. And I am like, I don't have any skills. I have no trades. But what I am is a people person. And I believe that I could get an army to fight for me. Charming, if you will. Charming. I think that you and I, I'd probably come out

to where you live. I'd grab you, your mom, Dace. I'd grab everybody and I'd say, hey, all of us together are going to go find soldiers. And we're going to run it as a collective. And I would grab y'all and I'd say, hey, all of us together are going to go find soldiers. And we're going to run it as a collective. And I would grab y'all and I think we would find a clean water source to protect.

And I think we would be fine. Yeah. I already know the plan. Right. Enough gay people love both of us. I think we'd be okay. Yeah, and gay people are, of course, by and large, useless. However, they are spirited. And with the right direction, I think they could do something.

Right. And if not, we'd have a good time and party till we die. Party till you die is kind of what I'm up to. Right. When I say party till I die, I mostly mean go to restaurants with your friends until you die. But that's, I'm partying over there. That reminds me, I went to the people's choice awards last weekend. Thank you.

It was a key. It was fun, but I did get trashed and I never really get drunk at work events, but yeah, but I, yeah. Why? Okay.

Queen. I'm sitting next to Patrick Tom. I'm like, yeah, it's so crazy. I know. You're like, it's literally the best one.

Cause the people choose. I start giving a speech. Falling out of your chair. I'm like, and another thing. You're like, let me talk to Billie Eilish. Billie Eilish, I am right to be here. I had a blast.

It was really fun. But I was hung over for two days after that, girl. Two fucking days. Can you believe that shit? I cannot. I was so arrogant. I was like, the next day I woke up, I was like, I don't feel that bad.

I mean, look at me. I'm good. Now I'm convinced I was just drunk all day. You were drunk again. And I had meetings that day. For a second time. What was I talking about?

You were drunk at work. Yep. You have a problem, girl. On the clock. Hey, we brought you here for a reason. We all love you so much. We're going to read

impact statements. All right. Two, when you got drunk at the People's Choice Awards, I have never felt so We all love you so much. We're going to read impact statements. All right. True. When you got drunk at the People's Choice Awards, I have never felt so mistreated. And then when I woke up Tuesday, I was like, oh, I feel like I'm going to die. And then when I was going through the motions of it, I was like, oh, I'm fucking hungover still. I'm so old. You are.

A million and one years old you're 21 we're the same age i feel so i feel so much older than people my age me too like i talked to another 28 29 year old and i i go oh god you're just a baby yeah same age as me but i'm sure you get this too when you talk especially online people if you talk to them and they're younger than i don't know 28 anything younger than us they're like oh okay you're like almost 30 yeah well relax hold up first of all shut the fuck up second of all what's that supposed to mean what does it mean i've started i know that i'm getting too i can't um a friend of mine was describing this as uh PSR to PSR,

post Saturn return to post Saturn return. Right. Is this friend gay? Of course. Of course, yeah. If you think I have a straight friend,

you're out of your mind. Sorry, John. It's just me and Brittany. Sorry, John. Me, Brittany, and John. Yeah, you, Brittany, and John. But I, again, the way I attribute

Midwestern-ness to people I like, I also attribute gayness. Period. Like, the fact that you're in a heterosexual relationship to me is, I'm like, yeah, like the fact that you're in a heterosexual relationship to me is I'm like

yeah but she's doing it in a queer way that's so real that's the hoops I go through for people I love I like when John wears a funky t-shirt

I'm like he's gay with it you know what I mean I'm like sure he's straight but he's gay with it sure straight sure sure sure sure sure sure um

no what were we talking about? I was on some kind of tangent. What was I talking about? Oh, someone young. You were talking to someone young. Oh my God, why I gotta stop dating young people? I went on a date with a 24-year-old the other day. Girl.

And he called me pookie. Okay. And I said, we're friends at best. And more likely enemies. He said, don't call me. Pookie? I'm pookie no sir no yeah there are some things that younger people like i don't know even when i see people are like 28 29 and they're dating someone that's like 21 yeah i'm like i don't even i don't have friends who are 21 let alone a partner like i can't wrap my head around that. We have nothing in common.

You know who pisses me the fuck off? Oh my gosh, let's talk about it. Brittany Renee Broski. God, you fucker. Because this bitch, this bitch will be goofing off and just sing something heavenly. Don't piss me off.

You ever seen her do that? I hate when she does this. Hell yeah, I have. And in the, for a day since 30th birthday that you so conveniently did not come to. Yeah. And then in return, you guys skipped my birthday.

Clocked that. Clocked that punishment. Clocked that punishment, by the way. That's so funny. Clocked that punishment big. Clocked that. I got the 11th hour text. Not going to make it to your birthday, love.

So sorry. Yeah, I clocked that punishment. I honestly forgot that we were like one for one. Hey, we both got one. Yeah, everybody gets one. You know what's so funny, though, is we were both working, and that's why we both couldn't make it. Yeah, because I had just gotten back from London, and then that was the day of your party, and then I was going to South Carolina at fucking 5 a.m. the next day.

Yeah, you just got back from feuding with the whites in the U.K. Yeah, I sure did, girl. God, you tore them up. I sure did. You said bangers you tore them up. I sure did. You said bangers and mash, more like bangers and ass. And they said, what if we fucking kill you, bitch? They got pissed. They take that shit so personal.

They wanted the guys in the tall hats who can't talk to people to come for you. Girl, I posted one picture of that Battle of the Masters episode of Game of Thrones where Jon Snow's fighting the whole thing. I literally put that in my story and i was like me taking on every single one of these motherfucking red coats because they're pissed off that i don't like their holographic meatloaf head ass food girl come on now i was like look at the color of my skin yeah that's why i don't like it please please next please please please the best the best food in london is yeah it's not british food we've discussed absolutely we've discussed we have at length and also for back to britney's stupid ass

when we did when we did dayson's birthday party we did karaoke one night um i went to sleep early because i'm a hundred years old as we've gone over but she was singing with our cousin josh who also has a beautiful voice and it was magical magical. I hate it. I got mad immediately. Went to bed clearly. Beautiful voice. Enjoy prison. Enjoy that jail time I'm sending your way. I hope there's good acoustics in that cell, bitch. Yeah, you're gonna get a lot of riffing in there.

Yeah, have fun in there. I'm so pissed off that she's so talented. It's annoying. It's stupid. It is. I feel this way about both of you. I am rooting on both of your downfalls. In fact, I'm planning'm planning it every time y'all win i'm in the comments like girl you better and i'm this is me typing it me every time someone tells me caleb's the funniest episode you've ever had and i'm like i don't know 50 past you at this point delete it how about delete it how's that sound by the way i haven't even told you this, but my episodes are on Delta.

Small flex. My choice of airline. Yeah. And your episode's on there now. What? Yeah, it is. On Delta Airlines? It sure is.

I'm taking a Delta flight in literally 12 hours. You have to look. You better believe I'll be in there. Period, bitch. Like swimwear. Checking myself out. I'm going to put myself on the screen and go. You're laughing really loud.

You should really tune in. It's really good. Everybody tune in. This fat gay guy has got her number. They're a good match chemistry wise. Your episode was actually my most shared episode of all of 2023. Oh God. Period.

That means the fucking world to me. Because the way I fucking ride for you to like literally for you to fucking say that right now. And it means the most to me because the people choose.

Seriously. That is up to the people for sure. Up to the people. I listen to the people. When the people choose, I listen. When you were on our Two idiot girls podcast and i was

telling you how i made friends with all the workers like before i got fired from the nfl and you're all a woman of the people woman of the people my president said i don't know my co-workers at the desks and computers i don't know their names but me and the security guard are like this me and the lunch lady you believe it every time Every time I came in, she goes, hey, girl. I was like, hey. Hey. Hate my job. What's up? Me with tears in my eyes because I cried every day I was at work.

Horrible. Period. We have similar origin stories, too. Oh, my God. Do we have similar origin stories? I want to say something about you. Please do. And it's a negative thing.

No. You did one of the, I'm going to, I have to tell this story. Please. Because you did one of the most fucked up things anyone's ever done to me. And you already know where I'm going. Because I keep bringing this up. You came to my show in New York. I did, in fact.

You brought the whole crew. All my favorite people you bring out. And then you went and bought every single item of merch at my show. I sure did. And gave it out to fans. How dare you? To upstage me at my

sold out New York show. You did too good. I was like, I gotta do something crazy. You pull a fire alarm. I yell fire in the crowd. You said no, go. Get the SUVs, go. I was like, well, the gun I ordered wasn't here in time so I had to do something. Well, I was gonna do something way crazier

but Amazon wasn't cooperating. But I guess Amazon Prime doesn't mean Amazon Prime anymore. Yeah, Prime used to mean Prime. And now I guess it means whenever they're ready. Ordering a gun on Amazon. We were being like, I had to cart a ship. What's up, y'all? A few quick things from me.

I'm going on tour. I'll be in New York, D.C., Philly, Chicago, Nashville, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Dallas, Houston, and Fort Worth in the coming weeks. So please go get tickets and come see me live. If you're enjoying the podcast, there is so much more of it exclusively on Patreon, including monthly bonus episodes from me and additional segments with every guest. So go check that out if you want more So True. And finally, if you're enjoying the show, please tell your friends, subscribe everywhere, leave a five-star review and all that stuff.

Okay, love ya, ciao. You know Shannon Sharp? Yeah. Do you ever see his stuff? Club Che Che? Yeah. Oh, I watch it like it's the Bible. Club Che Che.

I'm getting my news. I don't know what he puts in those guest streams, but honestly, I'm hoping you'll give me some stuff like this. A truth-telling serum? Club Shea Shea, people go on there and say, let me tell you about every person who's ever fucking wronged me in private. And they pay two, three hours on that.

No, I was just telling Billy, I was like, that show fascinates me because he is a living, breathing cartoon character. The fact that they're airing out 25 year old beef and he's like, and you know what it is, it is what it is. Like the way they're telling him trade secrets and he's like, uh huh.

Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah. And that's all he says. He has to talk for the next two and a half hours. He also on the Monique episode, Monique, I have written for Monique my whole life.

And you will not get me off of this. A living legend. But Monique literally on the episode with him is like, Shannon, you need to stop dating younger women. And he's like, Monique, don't air me out now. You know she's going to. Monique's like, you need a fat, old, ugly bitch like me to cook you some dinner. Get those young girls out of your bed. And the whole time

he's just like, no, Monique, don't do me. Don't do me like this. And I'm like, she is. I don't have enough isms to handle this conversation.

Have you seen his like, you know how he does like me just talking about Shannon Sharp, but like him and Ocho Cinco, you know how they have like they huckos. Yeah.

One of my favorite clips ever that Jason sent me was like Ocho Cinco was talking about how he's like, oh, I had all these special remedies when I was in the league and that's why I never that dason sent me was like oh just think was talking about how he's like oh i had all these special remedies when i was in the league and that's why i never got hurt and he was like like what and he goes oh well first you know you know i would uh if i let's say i hurt my ankle he's like i would get some urine and he goes who that urine for and i swear to god i say it every time all the time every day no one knows what the fuck i'm

talking about he says who that urine for and then he goes stay with me stay with me and he's like going through his process of getting urine to soak his foot in and then he was like who's urine yours and then he goes and talks for 20 more minutes and at the very end he goes yeah i'm gonna miss that game and that's it. That's the whole clip. Bitch, the way I was in tears when I saw it. I was like, this guy is so funny. Unintentionally hilarious. Yeah, he doesn't.

A lot of the sports commentators are funny in a way that they're not in on. Like at all. You know what I mean? Everyone's dragging Tony Romo right now because of the way he called the Super Bowl. Tony Romo sucks. I hate you, Tony Romo. I get tired of hearing this bitch talk. Every time he commentates a game,

he's like, oh, he's throwing it long. He's got a man, shit! Every time it's like he's being progressively stabbed more and more. He's like, ah! I don't know if I'd do that one, Bob. Oh my God, he's gonna try and fuck! You know, it's so intense. Billy literally told me, he's like,

he's the worst commentator ever me he's like he's the worst commentator ever because he literally he's like if i was the opposing team i would just tune into the feed that tony romo's on yeah he's like because he literally he says their plays out loud yeah it's like oh well clearly they're gonna run a slant here because obviously you can see they're lined up and never yet and like i thought it was a slant yeah there it is there it is there it goes and he was like he's the he's just predicting what's going to happen and it happens. Just put him in their in-ears on the field.

Yeah, he was like, I would just tune into that feed and just listen to what he's saying because that's probably true. Absolutely. Oh my God. And we love sports. We're sports girls.

Me and you are sports girls. We are in fact. We're sports girlinas. Yeah, we sure are. That's the real tea about, I've seen you drag a couple straight guys on the internet in this way. And I,

talking about you dragging straight guys is like, it's like one small part of your genius. But one of my favorite times of you doing it is when they make these little comments where they're like, you should be a linebacker. And it's like, and I would do better than you because I know the sport, bitch. I could walk on in this outfit exactly at USC and I'd make the starting. Outplay you.

The starting lineup next week. I have football IQ in a way you can't imagine. And you don't even want to know. You can't comprehend it. Because you're not smart, baby. When I was interviewing for the NFL, they literally had me do like fucking four or five rounds of interviews. One of them, the initial one, is purely a quiz.

Yeah. Like they just test your football IQ for like over an hour. And they ask you questions about what's going on now. Like what are things that you think people should be talking about? What about this? What about that? Like it's literally just to see if you actually know what you're talking about when it comes to football. Yeah. What are things that you think people should be talking about? What about this? What about that? It's literally just to see if you actually know what you're talking about when it comes to football. I ace that shit, bitch.

100%. Period. Did I cheat a little bit? Yeah. Sure. Sure I did. And all winners do. Ask Tom Brady. Why do you think I was fired? I have a friend who consistently gets fired from jobs,

and they will never see themselves in the wrong at all. Literally, one time to me, they were like, yeah, I was stealing from work, and they fucking fired me. And it's literally because I think it's because I question authority in meetings, and I'm like, I think it's because you steal from work. Well, no. Well, actually, I think the answer is probably a lot simpler than that. No, I think it's that you steal from work well no i actually think that answer is probably a lot simpler than that no i think it's that you admittedly steal from job you don't think the stealing has anything to do with that maybe you're stealing from the job i'm just it's always and

it's not ironic they're not kidding it's like completely and i'm like i fucking literally love you i love a delusional friend oh my god oh i love that especially when they're dating and they're like well he only he slept with me once and then he never talks to me or sees me in the daytime. But I think it's just because he's afraid of commitment. Sure. Yeah, babe. Sure.

I bet it is. Yeah, I bet. I literally admire my delusional friends so much because I'm painfully in touch with reality. Like I know what's going on all too well. You know what I mean? Like I'm like, actually, I know what's up. I would like to live in the fantasy land a little bit. Hey, we got some voicemails for you.

Oh, let's listen to them. We got two voicemails from the listeners. You know the prompt. It's what's something you want to know the truth about. Let's hear it. Hi, Caleb and esteemed guest. Something I would love to know the truth about is how the fuck do planes fly? I feel like I heard something once, um, aka was watched a tip talk about how there's like no real scientific, um, study

done about how planes fly, like how they actually get into the air. And I've never once fact-checked that, but I do believe that to be true, that it's impossible to know. And it just doesn't feel right. It just doesn't feel like they should actually fly. It doesn't make sense. Also, the recent window coming out of the plane has terrified me. Okay.

Bye. XOXO. First of all, I like when they're like, I once saw a tech doc, literally me, whenever I'm referencing anything, I'm like, Oh,

I actually read an article. I'm talking about a tech doc. I think it was the Atlantic. I think Washington post actually posted a study on, I'm literally talking about a tech doc. There's a new dance trend on the Atlantic Where I read all my videos Where I get my fact checking Where I get my fact checking done

Also I just want to say My fans obviously Homosexual and mentally ill Her claim is that they have no scientific evidence For why planes fly I think they do The Wright brothers are churning in their graves Yeah I think we pretty much know

And I don't know what it is But I'm sure someone knows the way i'm like my brain immediately goes oh i don't care oh yeah like about planes about car like i don't give a fuck like however it flies i don't know jesus i i don't have a curious perspective no not at all i don't need to know i don't want to know there is there has been an uptick in people trying to open doors on planes though while they're in the air. That I, and that's where I think homicide should be legal.

Yeah. At least in the air counted as international waters. If we're in the air. Yeah. Um, cause I'm killing you if that's the case. Yeah. You're not down.

Yeah, girl. No, I'm rushing you. Yeah. I mean, Oh, I wouldn't be a hero on a plane.

I'll tell you that right now. I'd accept my fate immediately. That's true. I immediately, if a guy, if a guy got up on a plane and was'll tell you that right now. I'd accept my fate immediately. That's true. Immediately. If a guy got up on a plane and was like, hey, it's the thing you hoped it wouldn't be and we're all going down, I'd be like, fuck, he got

us. I'm not rushing him. That's for some dad in the third row. I know, and then he's getting knocked out immediately. Now what? I'm still in my seat watching Ratatouille. And I never had to deal with the terrorists. I'm perched. I'm watching The Wedding Planner.

I'm perched. And you can't stop me. You can't stop me from watching all of J-Lo's hits. I'm watching Monster-in-Law in my seat. Sipping on a mimosa. You're like, I can't be bothered. That's it. Monster-in-Law mimosa time. Because you know it's happening behind the curtain. And it's none of my business if it's behind the curtain.

I wipe my hands of it. I have nothing to do with it. I think, oh, yeah. I don't know about opening doors on planes. That's fucking nuts. I did see that shit about the plane, like the thing flying out. Oh, the door flying off? And ripping off.

Or the window, yeah. And I saw someone being, this is why I don't fly on 747 plane. Girl, I'm not doing all that. I'm not checking the plane. I'm not checking the plane. What the fuck do I know? I need to land. That the pilot doesn't.

I need to land at JFK before 3 p.m. on this day. What plane's doing that? Well, I'm trying to know what snacks you got on board. Like, I don't give a fuck about what kind. And I wouldn't know. I'd be like, I'd like to know what kind of plane this is. And then they show me and I'm like, yep, that sounds about right. I don't know anything about fucking planes.'d like to know what kind of plane this is and then they show me and i'm like yep that sounds about right i don't know anything about fucking planes well you know it's scary i watched a documentary on the deregulation going on at boeing and basically yeah i heard it

was a boeing though where the shit flew out planes are about to be very fucked like that boeing basically just uh sold all their um like they just kind of like gutted their uh quality like their compliance department over the last couple of years. And so all the planes that are coming out now that are like the new planes, they're way less quality. Damn. Yeah. It's,

it's just, it's just corporate greed as always, which is what ruins everything. But it's like, yeah, we're in for a weird, there's going to be a spell of time where the planes are really bad. Oh my God.

And you are getting on a flight. Oh, I'm getting on a, and I can't wait. I like three years ago, I conquered my fear of death. And now I used to get so, I had a big fear of death and I would get so scared when the plane got

turbulent. And now when the plane gets turbulent, I just go, if it is, it is, it'll be what it'll be. Who am I to question God's plan? Don't know.

Don't know. What's meant for me. We'll find me. And if that's a plane crash well baby here i am you know what would you survive in a plane crash absolutely not no me either absolutely not i don't think i would either it's i think it's kind of a my my body my body's not meant to go through anything emotionally physically spiritually i was i was built weak. I have a strong mind, but my body is not. And even that, barely.

Barely. You said it, sister. I was making this joke the other day because they're like, oh, if you went through a plane crash, what are three things you would hope that you had on you or whatever the fuck? Like if you're stranded on a desert island, whatever. And I was like, I'll tell you the three things I'm bringing if I can. Oh, please. I'm bringing my phone. By the way.

A charger, like a battery pack thing that doesn't need to be charged. It's like fully charged. And a gun. Because as soon as my phone dies and that battery pack dies, I'm shooting myself. I only need one bullet. I'm out. I'll be getting it right on the first try. Yeah, no, I'm good.

I promise you that. I'm good. Have you ever done the New York Times questions to fall in love? I've actually, I've seen them. I've done it with friends I've never done it with Billy actually. Maybe I should. I've only done it with friends Yeah, basically friends

but I love that set of questions and one of the questions is like it's something in the realm of what's one thing you couldn't live without and I did it with a group of gay friends and my friend Holmes, like one of the friends and my, my one, my friend Holmes, like one of the gayest people I know spiritually was like,

Oh, trees. I just love trees. And I was like, my iPhone, like, are you crazy? Trees? My phone.

It directs me. It gives me a fuck, but she means it like they mean it. It's crazy. And I'm like, no, the thing that provides me music connection, directions, recipes. I literally, like, I'm like, no, the thing that provides me music, connection, directions, recipes.

I feel like, especially in the last year, I've been like, I need my phone. And that's a bad thing. And I can't stop it. For sure. Sorry. It's where we're at. That's what I said. It's just, have you ever, like, your phone's updating and you're like, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Yeah. Sit here? Yeah. And exist? I have started going out for like full afternoons and evenings without my phone and the way i literally feel like lewis and clark like i'm literally like sacagawea come find me we need to go we need to find the river like i'm like this is crazy i'm living like this you're like i'm like fucking moana i'm literally like

this to the stars i'm like the way if my phone doesn't have signal i'm like fucking Moana. I'm literally like this to the stars. The way if my phone doesn't have signal, I'm like, what even is the point of living? I don't know. I'm like walking around LA without a phone. I'm like, the sunset Arby's is there. So that means my house. Three clicks to the left.

Truly. I'm like five knots from where I'm supposed to be. I'm just guessing. I'm so useless without it. It's crazy. Yeah, we need them back. And that being said, fuck planes, I guess. That being said to the voicemail,

fuck planes, we don't know. And what's the next voicemail, by the way? Hi, Caleb. Love you. Love your show. You're the best. Well, I guess this is like a new show, but I've loved everything you've ever done. Hi. Anyway, I really, really want to know the truth about two things. I don't know if I'm allowed to the space museum I still like what's going on why have we not been back in recent history what what's going on there and number two I want to know the truth about how the internet works like yeah fiber optic fiber optic cables whatever sure like okay cool um whatever. Sure. Like, okay, cool. Um, make it make sense.

Okay. Um, love you. Bye. Can I just say, I'm obsessed. I love when normal civilians are like, that didn't happen about the moon landing.

Yeah. I, they go to a museum, they look at one thing and they're like, clearly, clearly this is fake. Yeah. Try try this on someone else i'm not buying this you're not fooling me bitch yeah nice try one of my friends in college she is like so smart and so like it like she's just like so up there like she's so intellectual so funny so smart and i used to love making her so angry because i'd be like well how do we know

about the moon landing something about that in particular would make her so irate like she'd be like of course we know it's real of course like she would get so passionate and i don't give a fuck whether we've been there or not couldn't care less but it used to make me cackle how angry she would get about the moon landing i don't know what it was about that but that used to piss her off like if sometimes i would tell people at parties i'd be like you should go over there and you should tell her have you ever thought about maybe we haven't landed on the moon just go ahead and go tell her walk over to that bitch right there i literally would make people go because it made me laugh every time she gets so passionate you know what

she put her dream this is why this is why this pisses me off and she would just go into a whole lecture about how the moon landing is real of course it is and blah blah blah and i didn't give a fuck either way but that used to make me laugh but i love i don't i feel like it happened i yeah and you know what's funny is i still at this point could see why people don't think it happened for sure given the circumstance i'm like amer America lies about everything. So, I mean, yeah. And we were in the middle of the Cold War and we had to prove it. But isn't that so funny that they were like, look, I did it.

Take that, Russia. And the flag to me is so like, okay. You know what I mean? Like, all right. Well, one thing about America, they're going to colonize. They're going to colonize. Even in space, girl. They're going to do it.

That's our place. I think, in fact, I think we did go to space and I think we learned some shit i think they're not telling us the full truth i think we went and they learned some stuff and they came back down and said enough of that actually i don't want to touch that they said you know what change of plans takes these backsies shit's real up there yeah because you know every astronaut that comes back is like i can't bear being alive anymore have you know, every astronaut that comes back is like, I can't bear being alive anymore. Have you ever listened to astronaut interviews when they come back? They're like, I saw the world for what it is and I didn't like what I found. I was like, whoa, okay.

Well, maybe we don't send these fucking guys up there anymore. Yeah, they came back with the PTSD too. Oh, yeah. Well, astronaut training? Hey, I'm not doing that. hey no i'm good if i'm standing in a room the gravity better stay the way it is don't float me around it's funny because when i was making when i was attacking british people just violently i even said i'm like i don't want to eat food that looks like the food that matthew mcconaughey had to muscle through on the

spaceship in interstellar like i'm good i don't want to eat shit that looks like what he was forced to eat. It just looks like plasma. It's like those fucking MRI or ERI, whatever the fuck those things are called, the military eats. They put hot water in it and they're like, it's a roast dinner. Is it? In a pouch? They mix it

like a martini. Like I'm having bolognese. Cavatappi. And they're fucking sifting it they pour sludge out like oh rotisserie chicken okay she has to put the moon you think it happened right i think it happened i think it happened too but i'm pretty agnostic about a lot of things in american history yeah could have happened could have not i could believe it either way not big on america personally same that's why that's kind of what makes me think it's not because if there are beings of some kind on the moon we absolutely would have colonized that shit yeah oh yeah and maybe would they maybe we went up there and got our ass whooped and then

they like you said they came back down they were like hey actually i don't they're good i didn't leave space alone you know what they got it they actually got this one yeah they've handled it it is at the end of the day no worries y'all got

y'all got this one y'all got you're good what was her second question she said the moon landing and then I forget oh internet

she wants to know about fiber optics oh okay well fiber optics you lost me already yeah sure I mean I'm inclined to believe you

first internet was wireless and now it's very wired. I don't know. All I know is I have Google Fiber, and the shit runs quick. I'm grateful for them. I don't know what they're doing to the environment. I'm sure they're somehow poisoning the earth with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they come fast when I call.

And I want to thank them for that. That's, again, with planes. I'm just like, I don't know. Got me where I needed to go. Yeah. I mean, as long as it works on my phone, I have no other questions, Your Honor. Zero questions. No further questions, Your Honor.

Yeah, I don't worry about these things. I don't worry about the planes, the American history. I read two books about American history that changed my life. People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn. And Michelle Alexander's New Jim Crow. And I'm all good. It just is an evil enterprise. I learned I am intimately familiar with the evil. And I'm like, I'm all good it just is an evil enterprise i learned i am intimately familiar with the evil

yep and i'm like i'm all good on this place yeah yeah you're like oh actually i've seen all i needed to see i'm good we'll make it better however i can but i'm done tuning in to what what has occurred i think and i think the government has lied to us so frequently i wouldn't be surprised if they were lying to us even before the internet oh yeah well before the internet of course they fucking were sure they lied about i'm sure they're all kinds of shit they were saying they used to say cigarettes wouldn't kill you dude you say to smoke while you're pregnant and a lot of those a lot of those smoke babies are senators now i think lying had to be so sick before the internet oh like lying in the 70s had to hit

like tyson because it's it's just like, prove me wrong. Go ahead. You're going to go down to the library and check out five books and peel through them? Prove me wrong. I feel like in the 70s you could just be like, I'm a famous poet. And the earth is made of gumdrops. And what are they going to tell me? Hello?

Like earth is flat type shit type i'm like i'm inclined immediately yeah i just it that's honestly not to like shift but kind of about that's how i feel about cults when i see cults like especially ones that were started back in the day i'm like well of course because anyone can lie like and that's where i think this is me being like just overly confident but i don't think i could ever be in a cult because I'm too smart because I'm like, okay, there's this five, six white dude. And he's telling me that he's Jesus. I don't believe you. Yeah. And that's where I'm kind of like,

how do you get so many people to follow you? Because then he's like, and I also need to marry your wife and your 11 year old child. Yeah. Thoughts. Well, I'm Jesus. And he told me me so it always gets that way it always gets some people can have sex and some people can't if i ever had a cult everyone would be allowed to have sex all the time maybe i go ahead have fun yeah yeah yeah not well but here's the deal cults people join them when they're at their most broken yeah if i ever get to a place that i'm so broken that a guy who's like obsessed with volleyball and headbands tells me he's the messiah i think i know a different way out

you know what I mean and it rhymes with snooicide I'm not gonna be like oh yeah and I'll tell you what I'm putting a gun in my mouth before I follow a white dude before I let a dork in wireframe glasses tell me that he's the Messiah let's say someone with a patchy

five o'clock shadow tell me what I'm supposed to be doing also why does the Messiah never have enough say someone with a patchy five o'clock shadow. Tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. Also, why does the Messiah never have enough money to set up a compound in LA? I have to go to Wyoming. Christ, Christ is being affected by the price of real estate. He's suffering under the boot of capitalism. Come on.

As soon as they tell me I have to move to fucking St. George, Utah. Oh, I'm out. Not my, I'm actually wised up. I think I'm going to go home instead. Turns out I have to move to fucking St. George, Utah, oh, I'm out. Not my Messiah. Hey, I've actually wised up. I think I'm going to go home instead.

Turns out I have a different God, and it's me. Oh, actually, I found out I'm busy that day, so I can't make it to the con. Oh, I wanted to confess you as my savior so bad. I hate scheduling conflicts. I really do. But me and Dacent actually have to work early tomorrow. I actually have to catch a flight to South Carolina. We can't make it.

And that's period. Period. That's period. That's on period. That's around and surrounding period. Doing poetry about period. And in other words, we're going to start a cult. Oh, we're starting a cult.

Yeah. Before we do, I have a game for you. Oh my gosh, let's do it. Now, here's the surprise. I told you I had a're going to start a cult. Oh. You and I. We're starting a cult. Yeah. But before we do, I have a game for you. Oh my gosh. Let's do it. Now, here's the surprise. I told you I had a surprise for you during the episode. Yes. The surprise is this.

When I recorded Brittany, broski, terrorist. Bad person with bad intentions. I did the true or false segment with her and she said, I want to do this to you. I want to put you on the thing. Okay. And so she did. And I let her ask me the true or false questions that we had written for you. And now

I'm going to ask you those same ones, and we're going to see how you and I stack up. So I'm about to give you 15 statements that have an objective answer, and you're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false. And baby, you already know that if you get 10 or more correct, I'm going to give you 50 US dollars.

Period. I'm going to buy all. Everyone gets Dr. Pepper. Everyone gets Dr. Pepper in the US. On me. Family Guy premiered on January 31st, 1999. True. True. The ice cream cone was invented in Chicago. True. False. St. Louis. There are 13 stripes on the United States flag. True. True. Roger

Goodell is the 8th commissioner of the NFL. True. True. The largest outdoor amphitheater in the US is in Fresno, California. False. False. San Bernardino. Dolphins sleep commissioner of the NFL. True. True. The largest outdoor amphitheater in the U.S. is in Fresno, California. False. False. San Bernardino. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. True.

True. The Eiffel Tower was originally supposed to be in London. True. False. Barcelona. Volleyball was invented in 1895. False. True.

The fish taco was invented in San Francisco, California. True. False. Baja, California, Mexico. God damn it. Oreos are made with dairy. False. False. LaDainian Tomlinson is an avid bee California. True. False. Baja, California, Mexico. God damn it. Oreos are made with dairy. False. False.

LaDainian Tomlinson is an avid beekeeper. True. False. Damn. Japan is made up of over 6,000 islands. True. True. The X in LAX is just a filler letter and means nothing.

False. True. There are 25 holes on each pair of Crocs. False. False. 13. Janet Jackson has won five Grammy Awards. False.

True. How'd she do? Eight. Oh, no. False. 13. Janet Jackson has won five Grammy Awards. False. True. How'd she do? Eight. Oh, no, Drew. Are you going to be okay, babe? No Dr. Peppers for nobody. Sorry. Can't swing it. Sorry. The budget's tight. Sorry. Have you ever watched The Other Guys with Will Ferrell? Yeah.

When Dancing in Highsmith, The Rock, and Samuel L. Jackson are outside and the hot dog vendor goes, Dancing in Highsmith, free hot dogs for life! And everyone cheers and then it cuts back to him and he goes, no drinks, I can't do it. And the crowd boos him. He's like, I can't do it. No drinks. You want it or not.

Hey, free hot dogs. That fucking movie is so goddamn funny. That's literally one of Billy's favorite movies too. And that's my boy. He thinks that's one of the funniest movies ever. It is beat for beat, bit for bit, one of the funniest studio comedies made in the last 20 years.

Zero. Michael Keaton being a police chief who works part-time at a Bed Bath & Beyond to put his son through NYU so he can be a DJ and explore his bisexuality. And that's so real. Like, come on. That's the most real character description ever.

Mark Wahlberg, canceled forever. Yeah. But Mark Wahlberg's character in that movie, learning to dance really beautifully, ironically, to make fun of gay people. Is there anything funnier than that? Adam McKay, to me, Adam McKay, if you're listening, I want to talk. I love you so much. Come on the pod. Adam McKay, come on the pod.

If you're real. If you're real. And I bet you're not. People are saying you're not. Yeah. Prove it. Prove it. People are saying you're gay.

Come on the pod. Prove you're not. Dispel the rumors. I fucking love that guy. That movie is so funny. It is so funny. It is so funny. What is your favorite comedy? Like what's in that,

that category for you? I would say, uh, one of my favorite comedies of all time is uncle buck. Thank you. That is one of my favorite movies. God, I love that man.

That movie is so funny. My family and I rewatched it recently. Bitch, I was cackling. Like it's the first time I've ever seen it. He's so real. And he also is from a time when we let fat people be in movies. Period.

Which was awesome. Period. Doesn't happen anymore. What do you mean? You're in. Oh, come on. Where's my uncle Buck?

That would be so good. I've been pitching. Nobody take this. Yeah. I've been pitching gay uncle Buck for years. TM. TM. TM.

By the way, uncle Buck, TM. I am. Or with a circle. The way I got chills down my spine. Cause I. TM, by the way. Gay Uncle Buck TM. I am so. R with a circle around it. The way I got chills down my spine because I think that would be so amazing. Gay Uncle Buck would be amazing. Uncle Buck.

You. Uncle Buck. Uncle Buck. And hello. Guy Branum put the fucking phone down. This one's for me. The kids are so mean to each other in that fucking movie. It's so funny.

He's like, like who? Like what? Hang out with friends you don't have? I said, damn. Scur. Damn so funny. He's like, like who? Like what? Hang out with friends you don't have? I said, damn. Scur! Damn, bitch! He's like seven years old. Wrapped her up tightly.

Shit. Period. I would say Uncle Buck's one of, The Wedding Singer is one of my favorite comedies. The Heat with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock. I haven't seen it. Girl. I love Sandy.

You have to watch The Heat. I literally bought it because i was like when i'm sad i'll go watch it she fucking kills me melissa mccarthy is so funny she is beyond and i love that like my favorite part about her is that she doesn't give a fuck about looking like crazy or ugly or whatever people perceive to be ugly in movies like she just throws herself into roles like the heat is so funny you should should watch it. She's committing. She commits to the bit and she's so funny. Have you ever seen the Melissa McCarthy

outtakes? I don't remember what movie it's from, but she's in a principal's office talking to another parent. Oh, this is 40. And she's like, I'll slit your goddamn throat and I'll drag you behind my truck. She was like, fuck you. Everybody hates your haircut by the way. I will light you on fucking fire. Yeah, but she's like, and I'm glad your husband died truly and it's just and it's it's just bloopers of the

whole cast being like he's just going and going she just goes like a machine dude that's a comedian and her movie spy too is really good by the way you're gonna watch the heat someone told me on a podcast once that they love spy it might have been all all of Muna. Who? It was Muna. It was Muna. Jason, I fucking love you, girl. Gay. Gay. First of all, gay.

Gay. Okay, homo alert. No, but you're right. It was all of Muna being like, we love Spy. It's such a stupid movie, but there's so many famous people in it, too. Who stars? Who's the guy in it? Yeah, him, but the other guy jula

i'm obsessed with dacen imdb and the d stands for dacen for real she said did you want to know the key grips name i know that too i'm friends with a girl who pulled focus on that you know what's funny is one time i went to an event i took days with me and she's uh we always joke that she's like uh, I'm Miranda Priestly and the devil wears Prada and she's Andy behind me reminding me who everybody is. Yeah. Cause I have terrible vision and forget. She leans in Jason Statham.

She literally was with me somewhere and I'll tell you who it was after, but she told me, Oh, that's so-and-so. And I was like, Oh, okay. And I'm talking to this person as if they're the person she just told me.

Yeah. And then I asked them a question, which told me immediately that was not them. And I was like, Oh, and they're like, yeah, we me. Yeah. And then I asked them a question, which told me immediately that was not them. Yeah. And I was like, oh, and they're like, yeah,

we've never met. I thought we had, because that other person I had met. Yeah. And I don't remember anything else he fucking said, because all I was seeing was that fucking bitch. Because she told me the wrong information, like I'm supposed to remember,

but I'm counting on her to remember. What is something that is so true to you, babe? Ooh, what's so true to me? that is so true to you, babe? Ooh, what's so true to me? What is so true to Drew? I'm trying to think. You give me an example. Oh, so true to you.

Let me clock the fuck in real quick. I keep a note. What's so true to me? What do I have in here lately? Oh, shit. I haven't written any new ones. Oh, wait. What do I have in here lately? Oh, shit. I haven't written any new ones. Oh, wait. I actually do have one. What?

With dating age gaps. Yeah. When it's women, literally lesbian relationships or just women, I'm like, that's so cute. Right? So, for example, Sarah Paulson and her wife. Yeah. She's way older than her. Yeah.

And I'm like, well, clearly soulmates just born at different times. Yeah. When a man dates someone like five or more years younger, pedophile. Period. Sorry. You know what I always find? Actually, you're a pedophile. I'm with you on this.

Because you know what I always find so convenient? Is these older men that are like, you just can't control who you love. And I'm like, right. But for you, it does always happen to be someone who can't rent a car. And that feels intentional and on purpose. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, isn't that weird? And when women do it, I'm like, oh my God, so sweet.

And then when men are doing it, I'm like, disgusting. Truly. You disgust me. And you know what the real kicker is? Older men who date 20-year-old women, all their friends are their age. And I go, oh, so the guys that you talk to because you just platonically want to hear their thoughts on the world all their friends are their age and I go oh so the guys that you talk to because you just

platonically want to hear their thoughts on the world all seem to be your age but all of a sudden you can only have this deep

spiritual kind of soul connection by the way I'm like you're just that's to me that's the like

there's the proof yeah literally you're a pedophile yeah so I'm like with lesbians I'm like oh my god soulmates I love it that's so true you guys are soulmates literally you're a pedophile. Yeah. So I'm like any, with, with lesbians, I'm like, Oh my God,

soulmates. I love it. That's so true. You guys are soulmates. And I love that you feel that way. With men, any, any sort of gap that's five or more years.

I'm like pedophile. Pedophile. You're disgusting actually. Gross. Gross. Grow up sicko. I don't like it when lesbians do it either. I'll be honest with you.

I don't, age gaps freak me out. No, me too. Age gaps too. Age gaps really freak me out. Honestly, if I'm being honest, most things thatians do it either, I'll be honest with you. Age gaps freak me out. No, me too. Age gaps too. Age gaps really freak me out. Honestly, if I'm being honest, most things that women do, I'm like, so cute. But when men do it, I'm like, hate crime.

Hate crime. Yeah. My friend tried to set me up the other day with her 37-year-old friend, and I was like, set me up to do what? Drive him to his appointments? Talk to his doctors about the treatment plan? Get some tips on the best IRA to invest in. Yeah, drop him off and pick him up from dialysis.

What am I doing with him? I feel that too. Sometimes my girlfriends will go on dates with dudes in their 30s or 40s when we're early 20s. I'm like, what are you talking about, taxes? You're talking about the 2008 housing crisis? Honey, that's not a boyfriend. That's a mentor.

You got me in the Big Brother program. That's a TA, Mitch. What the fuck? That's my TA. Yeah. My lab report is due. Girl, what are you talking about? I know.

I think age gaps are so... I can't do them. I can't do it. Like, older men annoy me. What am I going to do with a 37-year-old man at my young spry age? What are we going to talk about? We have nothing in common. Yeah.

Well, it's like, first of all, I grew up with the internet. Yeah. And you were doing the phones that you had to go like three, five, four, seven. I was calling an Uber, and you were catching a cable car. Like two different things. Yeah. I'm sorry, peepaw. Sorry, horse and buggies aren't a thing anymore.

Yeah, you lost friends to dysentery on the Oregon Trail. I wasn't there. I'm like, men who were alive before the polio vaccine was alive, I'm good. Skate on out of here. Yeah, no thank you. I'll send you on your way, pimp. When you had mumps as a child and we're supposed to have something in common? Yeah.

No thanks. Hey, but when I need to understand escrow, I'll give you a call. I'll hit you up, brother. Do I need to close some deals? Yeah. I'll send you an email. Yeah, I'll let you know. Don't call me.

I'll call you. But until then, you go back to the assisted care facility and I'll just be out living my life. 37's crazy. My friend said that to me. She goes, I really think you'd like him. He's really creative. And I was like, you've lost it.

You think creativity is putting me over? Free of what? Getting out of the old folks home to go to the next? He's gotten real creative at escaping hospice? Yeah, I don't think so.

Creatively getting out of a chair so he doesn't hurt himself. Creative. He has one of those walkers that you could turn around and sit on too. Yeah. And we're supposed to go to dinner. But he knows who he is. But he knows what he wants. Jesus Christ because he was there when he was washing feet.

That is so true. God, that's so true. I didn't intend for this podcast to end up talking about God so much. I think every episode there has come a point where I turn to the guests and go, what do you think? Yes or no on God. And guess what? Here we are. Drew, what do you think?

Yes or no? I feel pretty agnostic again. Good. To be honest. Like, I'd like to believe there is a higher being. Yeah. I just don't think it's what everybody's like who uses God as like a way to, you know, smite or like excommunicate people. I don't think that's God at all. Yeah.

Also, God's genderless. By the way. Yeah. You guys got problems? I think God's a boy. Sorry, God's a boy. I think God's non-binary, to be honest. boy. Sorry. God's a boy. I think God's non-binary to be honest. God.

Yeah. I think God has no gender, but I don't want to call God non-binary because I doubt that they've ever made a coffee. You know what I mean? Something tells me. Genderless is different than non-binary. That's true.

Non-binary knows lattes. And what if you went up there and God had a wolf cut? Then what? God's in a wild thing suit. Then what? Then what? Yeah, no, I feel pretty agnostic honestly. I'd like to believe there is a higher power. I just, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't. That's kind of how I feel. Yeah. Me just needing to be right so I have to stay in the middle. Yeah. So whatever happens. You refusing to be wrong. Not even in the afterlife

will I be one-upped. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Even at the very end, I'm going to be like, and I knew it. And by the way. And I knew it, so. How about you? Oh, everything.

Well, no, yeah, but no in many ways. I mean, I think the listeners are going to get tired of hearing me do this. But yeah, I think God, I see, I think the universe is God. I agree. I think there is a power that exists among us. Totally. I think the divisions between us are artificial. Totally, and man-made. Yeah, the idea that I'm different than a black person or that a black person is different than an Asian person.

Yeah. Or even the idea that you and I are sitting in two separate bodies right now and that we are not the same thing, that we're not all just made up of the same atoms and we haven't just like, uh, this, it's not just an illusion making us see separation. Yeah, absolutely. That to me is like, that's all made up. I agree. But this is like a, a who we, who we, you know, I think people would be surprised to

hear me say that answer. I think spirituality is very real. Like you said, I believe in the universe. I believe in the universe so severely and I believe in timing and manifestation and not manifest destiny, don't get confused. Different. Different.

But yeah, i believe in like energy and love so much more because it's more tangible i guess yeah and also if i think too too much about what lies beyond i'll freak the fuck out so it's for everyone's best interests that i bury my head in the sand i can't go there anymore that was the biggest part of my depression when i was like 20 was that i kept thinking about the size of everything and the scope and my place in it all. And then when I just stopped doing that, I was like, life's pretty manageable when you get out of that.

Yeah, totally. Like when I focus on now, like my therapist tells me that all the time. Cause she's like, cause my boyfriend is so, he is so grounded in reality that I'm like, what ifs?

Like I worry. And I'm like, what if, what if, what if this, what if that? And he's like, but it'll be fine.

Yeah. And I will, I'm like, well, how do you know? He goes, cause it always is. Yeah. I can't relate to that at all. I'm like what if what if what if this what if that and he's like but it'll be fine yeah and i will i'm like well how do you know he goes because it always is yeah i can't relate to that at all yeah i'm like back to that i need that i don't need him he's yours but i need i need that yeah it's really nice to have someone like that who's very grounded in today yeah focuses on today i need like a cool sane man to bring me down to earth i need like a cool sane hot guy who lives in my house and goes you're good everything cool who's your who's your like dream guy like like like celeb like if it's a tangible person you could

tell me that my here's the issue yeah okay i have many types yeah so i always get scared in these conversations because there is a guy that comes to my mind that I've had a crush on from afar since childhood. And of course, it's Dave Franco. I have such a crush on Dave Franco. You love him little. The thing is...

I mean short. Because you're so tall. I'll pick a short guy up and carry him around for a couple months. No problem. Put him on your shoulder like a parrot, bitch. I have many types. I've, you know, I'll just, I'll carry him. I've said this before. I don't mind a guy being short.

I'll put him in a cage on my pocket like Mulan with the cricket. I will carry his little ass around. It's not a problem to me. And he just chirps every now and then. He can slither around in my backpack like Mushu. And pop out during times of adversity no worries give me some stage advice

crack a couple jokes go back in yeah feed me porridge and send me off to war it's not a problem but I do have many types I'm like I'm into I'm into

I run the gamut period no shape no size no I'm into all kinds of things I feel that sometimes femme guys sometimes mass guys

yeah it just depends it is what it is you're just like who want me I'm into all kinds of things. I feel that. Sometimes femme guys, sometimes mass guys. Yeah, it just depends. It is what it is. You're just like, who want me? I'm a whore. And I want to keep my options open. I want these gay men listening to know, maybe. I don't know. Maybe, and in fact, probably.

Throw your hat in the ring. Let's see what happens. Yeah, someone propose. I am waiting for someone to propose. I am waiting for someone to propose. I'm tired of these gay men i've had it with these put me on my misery i've had it i've had it either propose to me or shoot me fuck me or kill me

what are we doing that's so britney i want kids dude dude. I want kids. I want a little house. I have the little house. I bought us a house already. That step is done. Moving. Let's start on kids, dude. I'm trying to create. Oh, okay. So I'm a dumbass because I'm trying to create a happy and beautiful life for myself.

Great. You're so lesbian coded. I'm big lesbian coded. I want to move. I want to meet a man and be like next week. It's like, let's go to the adoption agency. Let's start this life, brother.

Did you know I was a security guard once? No, I didn't, but I believe it. I was a security guard for one night. I was a security guard for Aaron Carter. Are you lying to me? No,

I'm dead ass serious. You're being serious. I'm dead ass. You lie all the time. I can't tell if you're lying to me. Baby, you know, I'm telling the truth.

I think I can find, maybe we can put it up on the screen later when we, all the time. I can't tell if you're lying to me. Baby, you know I'm telling the truth. I think I can find, maybe we can put it up on the screen later in the episode, but let me try to find the picture. For what? He came to my college, and he didn't have security. Who's the biggest guy we know? Let's call Caleb.

They were like, get your fat ass in here immediately. Immediately. I'm trying to find it so bad. I might have to show you afterwards. Yeah, just show me. You can show me after. I believe you now, because.

I don't have the good ones. I do have the. Oh, yeah. We bring that over and show Drew. So this is going to go ahead and be me and my buddy Doyle posted up with Aaron Cotter as his security guards. Caleb. Yeah. Caleb. Caleb, you're so gay. He also, by

the way, and be careful, and he posted a photo. So we bodyguarded it for him and me and my friend were treating it as a bit. So the whole day we're like sweeping campus, being ridiculous. We get walkie talkies. It was like you gave comedians an opportunity to be bodyguards. That's on you. That's on you. And then at

the concert, it actually was scary because there was just like three of us and these girls were rabid for him. You being scared as the senior? No, it legit was. So me and my friend are just standing in front of, Aaron's behind us performing, standing in front of the stage like this.

Because these girls are mauling us. You're trembling. They want like a kiss. And he, they want a kiss from Aaron. And so then he after the show he posts a picture that's like it's him singing right behind me being like and then and then all the women all the the young girls like jumping at him and then in the in the picture it's just me going so scared and the caption he posted with was that security guard

in the front though, straight G. And I was like, well, you know you shouldn't be talking like that. And you shouldn't implicate me. Oh, by the way, straight F-A-T-O-T. It was crazy. That's an insane story. That security guard in the front though, straight G.

I wonder, I wonder. I really looking at your outfit hey i doubt that hey now you're getting you're getting a little comfy in here no i want to know if i can find oh here's the picture the security guard in the front though straight g and then here's the picture and you can go ahead and zoom in you can go ahead and zoom in on my face to the right how do do I make it not be highlighted like this? Whatever. You'll figure it out. That's crazy, dude.

Can you see? It's like... It's just a profile shot of me being like terrified for my life. That security guard. 81 likes. Yeah, this is back in the day. Damn. And it was a quick screenshot he might have gotten more likes on it i don't know this is on such an early version of instagram too that's

crazy yeah i'm not a young man anymore that's insane but if the camera picks this up this is what i'm looking like in that picture and then and then aaron's right here going ahead and doing his thing that's what I was going to ask. What year? Because if women are going rabid, I'm like, what year? It was like nostalgic rabid. Yeah. This would have been in 2015.

Oh, okay. Okay. It was like, yeah. They were huge Aaron fans when we were kids. It was like the resurgence. Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, oh my God, a kiss from Aaron.

I can't believe he's at Missouri State. What's he doing? Go Bears. Dude, it was like, oh my God, a kiss from Aaron. I can't believe he's at Missouri State. What's he doing? Go Bears. Dude, it was crazy. Oh my God. I never worked security though. I wish I did. I wish you did too.

And maybe we can make it happen someday. You and me. We put you in prosthetics and have you, me and you go undercover. I'll dress as you and you dress as me. Period. And I only see one of us getting in trouble in that scenario. I see that going very badly for me but i love it i can't wait to go down the ship we'll go down together period uh is there anything you want to promote to tell the fans where to find you oh yeah you can find me at drew off wallow on literally everything um i got two podcasts two

girls with my sister dayson which caleb has been on and and was a key it was very fun speaking of the Oregon Trail that you had to trek that to come to my house yes I did I would do it a million times and then my other show The Comment Section which is also a podcast

and a very fun key key and Caleb has also been on that show period like I said earlier my most shared episode of 2023 not nothing

love that for us it's not nothing and my book Loud comes out July 30th. Yeah! Very exciting. Woohoo! Yeah.

Get the book. Go follow Drew on everything as if you don't already. Dude, I love you so much. I love you. Thank you for doing it. Oh my God. Anything for you.

We gotta be done. Because you know, if we hang out too long, you and I start to fight. And then I have to hate you and then... Yeah. And then I cum.