So True with Caleb Hearon - Grace Kuhlenschmidt Returns

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Grace Kuhlenschmidt! Grace and Caleb talk about the pains of moving to New York, the math that goes into Time Zones, coming out, fedoras, and much more!  Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/  Follow Grace! @gkuhlenschmidt  Follow the show! @sooootruepod  Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings  Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York.  A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wave People who work in real estate Many of them Need to go to prison Totally Many of them are doing unfathomable crimes And I will completely agree with you And even add my mom's a real estate agent

Totally And I don't know how she's doing her business She needs to be locked up We have an episode recording this week at 8 a.m And for two weeks I've been looking at on the calendar Like something has to give No, like, how are you going to do that? Something that people do every day, might do.

Go to their job at 8 a.m. I had a thought today where I was like, okay, Caleb wants me there at 11 a.m., which means I need to be ready at 10.30. I need to leave at 10.30, which means I need to be up by 10, which means I need to be up in the nines. Yeah. Wow. Wow. I'm up in the nines. I have to be up in the nines to do something, not till the 11th.

See, you've changed and lost touch. You've changed in lost touch. Because the grace I knew. Oh yeah, she was up. She was in the minds. She wasn't sleeping. At 5 a.m. No way.

You've changed. You think. Don't you think? And this is only one such example. I have many more. Oh, really? What are the other examples? Oh, the way you talk to service workers.

So honestly, I've always done that. I have, oh, I've been so fucking consistent with that. That's not new. That's not new. That's when you work in the service industry. You know it's all inside jokes. Yeah. When you say, I'm not tipping.

Yeah. When you, but you screamed like, where's my fucking ranch? Right. But baby, you've had ranch. You know why someone would get so emotional about it. The idea of you defending that story being like, well, come on, where's my ranch? It's ranch.

Yeah. It's not ketchup. There's a really nice guy. There's a really nice guy who, that actually, by the way, what you said wasn't untrue. Ranch over catch. Because ketchup, they just leave on the table. Ranch head they have to bring out. Completely.

So it is a different thing. weird about it too and it's like I know it's a bottle back there like it's not homemade. Bring it out. Because I would hate if it were homemade. I don't like homemade stuff. I don't need that. There's a guy that works at the coffee shop that I go into a lot. He's really sweet. But he's so

I love this. I think I'm the problem here. He's so cheery. And he's like, I walk in. He's like, morning, Caleb. What are we thinking for the holidays? And like, no, and I love it. And I'm like, that is correct. It is ultimately like, I have become like until I've had my coffee kind of person. Completely.

As I've gotten a little older, and I don't like that. That's humiliating. But it really is like forcing me very early in the morning every day to like think about what kind of person I want to be. Absolutely. Because I like to think I'm a morning person in the way that like, I feel better when I'm up in the morning.

Yeah. But like no part of me has ever wanted to wake up like ever, ever. Ever. Ever. I can't think of a single day in my life besides like, let's be real Christmas morning. that I have been like, it's, I want to get out of bed.

I'll own it, Christmas morning. I'm 30 years old and I'm still like, I've never wanted to get up out of bed except for Christmas morning. Yeah. Just the way that it is. I love that. Yeah.

What's the best Christmas gift you think you've ever gotten? Do you have two and a half hours for me to stare into space and think? Yeah. Huh. Okay, this actually isn't a gift that I got. Okay.

That's okay. The show could be whatever. Do you mind if I don't answer your question really quick? Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, cool. I couldn't care. You're so chill about those kinds of things.

I'm not like one of those guys. Okay, so this is obviously, like I just had not a gift I got, but my neighbors got. My neighbors got electric scooters when I was in third grade. Tough. And that was actually, they were my friends. Yeah. So I got to use those scooters. And that weirdly was for me the best Christmas gifts I ever got because my parents would have never, ever gotten that for me.

I was sad for you at first because I was like, they got scooters and you didn't. but I never thought about what community could look like. No, seriously, it was so, so beautiful. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And by the way, I just want to say these were Hanukkah gifts for them. Yeah. So this was really like, they had just...

So they got eight of them? Yeah. Yeah, they did. They got eight scooters? See, this guy really knows Hanukkah. Oh, my God. It's true. I wish I was Jewish.

But I'm like, they really got gift, like, banger of gift after banger of gift. Really? It was amazing. See, I really was my first kind of foray in the... to cultural competence was when I was like, cultural appreciation was that when I was a kid and I learned that Hanukkah had eight gifts, I was like, wow, other people might be on to something as well.

Right. It can't only be Christianity. Right, right, right. That really was eye-opening for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like they get eight days of gifts. I mean, completely. There's other ways to think out there.

Well, also it's like, I do feel like opening more than a couple gifts on one day is completely exhausting. Oh, it's garish. Nobody needs that. It's base. Even when I go to a birthday, like an adult birthday dinner. Yeah. And, you know, we hand our little whatever to the birthday person.

Usually I'm not handing, to be honest. I'm pretty bad at giving birthday gifts. But that's because I didn't grow up with birthday gifts. Anyways, when people open and we're all sitting around the dinner table, I'm kind of like, this person needs to be doing this on their own time. Big time. I don't want to be watching this. Big time. I don't want to be watching you receive gifts.

No. You know what I do want to watch? If I write someone a sweet note and they read it in front of me, I'm into that. Yeah. Which is like... With you kind of... They're reading the note and your mouth is just kind of going along with it. And the way that you...

Yeah. Are you to the part? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Read that line. I feel like you stumbled over a word. Yeah. Read that part back.

Yeah. Wow. Don't cry. Don't cry. Is there like a best note you've ever written, you think? Oh, my goodness. Gracious. Oh my goodness gracious.

Me oh my. A best note I've ever written. Do you know what? I wrote and then did not send a fuck you note to one of my former bosses who like fired me from a day job that I had. Oh my God. Like two years later I had a really big career like win and I wrote a, there was like a publication in a magazine about it. Oh my God. And I wrote a note on the publication.

being like, um, working for you was a nightmare. Thank you so much for firing me. Oh. And, and I, and then I like autographed the thing. And I got this close to putting it in the mail. And then I was like, hey, so instead, why don't you like, check in on yourself? Like I was like, instead of sending this to this person who is a bitch,

why don't you go outside and like look at the sky or something? Because you will clearly have a problem. I mean, it was in that moment that I was like, you need to do some reflection. No, I mean, I've completely thought about like, if I ever win a Grammy one day, maybe I will say, like, I love my parents, I love my friends,

and fuck you to like these few people. But it really is like, whoa, let's really, we're getting hot. Yeah. Inside. Yeah.

Anger is taking over. Hey, you're holding on to something weirdly. Yeah, completely. Yeah, it's weird, it's weird to,

it's weird to have a moment of what should be joy for you. Right. And allow it to be infiltrated by, people you don't like. Why would you do that? Because we're hotheads.

I always have been. Yeah, we always, that's me and you. We're fucking flying off the handle. We don't play by the book. Right, right, right. The moment these mics go down, my arm is just crossing right over you. Yeah, you're going to hit me?

Yeah. Fuck. Okay. If you don't hit me first. No, it's great. Yeah, yeah. If you hit me, I'll come. Oh, awesome.

Yeah. We haven't talked about hooking up in a long time. I know, but you know what is hard about your podcast. What's up? It's that you treat every girl the same. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Fuck. You're very open about the chemistry that you have with every single female comedian in the world. Specifically lesbians. I know. There's something going on with me and lesbians. What is it? I wish you could get to the bottom of it. I know.

But you know what? It's so funny. Like, I love that you love lesbians so much. And I, like, it wouldn't even be possible for a lesbian to love gay guys as much. No. You know what I mean? No. It makes sense.

Like I know I see the path. I see the love like radiate from you on to lesbians. Yeah. And it couldn't go the other way. It could go to you. But to gay guys in general, the way that you are able to, no, couldn't happen. I know. Because the thing about gay guys is I love us.

I love gay guys. I love being a gay guy. I love gay guys. Right. We are at the end of the day, men. That's the thing And so it's tough Like if you find yourself like standing a group of men

It's like whoa I know It's not a cute look No I know In this day and age I remember years ago I posted some video Like making fun of gay guys

And this gay guy Like responded like classic lesbians Being homophobic And I was like I'm pretty sure you're a man And if that's what I'm joking about Yeah I'm not joking about the fact that you're gay

Pretty sure I'm making fun of you for being a boy. I'm not saying like, and by the way, butt sex. What a fucking stupid thing. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. So. I'll never criticize you. I know.

I never have. I don't think I could even deserve it. I just wouldn't do that to you. I don't know what you could possibly criticize me about anyway. Yeah. Oh my God. Do you want to hear something that's been making me sick? Yeah.

Okay. I was out with my friends the other day. Beautiful couple. Beautiful heterosexual couple. We don't hold it against them. They found love in a hopeless place. They are a beautiful heterosexual couple who I love deeply. I won't say their names just, you know, to be nice.

Michelle and Brock. Yes. M&B is all I'll say, but they were stressed out because they're building a library in Chicago right now. No, I was with my beautiful straight couple friends. And I'm gonna throw up. I asked them how they met. They have a beautiful relationship. They're so great together.

I asked them how they met. They like bumped into each other reading books in a coffee shop and started like making fun of what the other person was reading. And then she left the coffee shop and then a woman across from that was sitting across and turns to the guy

and goes, you idiot, why didn't you get her number? No. He like runs out to catch her. Can't find her. She's gone. And then a couple days later they like bump into each other on a train station.

Oh my God. Sorry. They bump into each... I'm gonna throw up. They bump into each other on a train station. They start dating. It's raining when they get out of the train, so they have to step into a bodega.

They exchange numbers. They start dating. They're now happily married. Yeah. I will kill myself before I ever hear a story like that again. My life means nothing. Completely.

I have nothing. That's a meat cute and a moment. movie where you're watching the movie and you're going, that's not realistic. Yeah. That's why that's fucked up. It's fucked up. It's because I would see that and go, that never happens. And when it does, like, I've had meet cutts where I meet someone and I'm like,

oh my God, this is such a cute way to meet. And then it turns out to be like, it's not the person, for your meet cute to happen, your cutest meet cute to happen with your person. Like, I've had a meet cute and then you go on a couple dates and you're like, oh, the meeting was cuter than that. Because it grounds you. Yeah. Brings you back to reality.

Yeah. But then this couple, which, who they sound amazing. And I'm sure they are. But they, yeah, that's the problem. They've never touched their sense. They think everything is perfect. They're floating 10 feet high all the time. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Yeah. I just don't like when that kind of stuff happens to other people. Right. No. It's not right. It's not right at all. It's not right.

God. And they're perfect for each other. I don't like, I don't even know if I've ever even had meat Q's. I feel like almost all every, and I'm talking. in broad range when I say relationship. Every relationship I've had pretty much has started from some sort of mistake or fuck up on my end.

It's almost all been like I'm tumbling down a flight of stairs. Okay. Tell me about that. That's just like how, like I'm just like nothing cool has ever happened to me in that way. The moment we kiss, then I can be cool as fuck. Then I'm like, I got this. Yeah, like it's done deal.

Yeah. And now I can be cool. But like the way that it begins is always me being like sending typos in our first few texts and being like, fuck sorry. Oh, fuck sorry. You're saying fuck sorry a lot. First five texts are like, fuck sorry.

Just fucking up the you, you're, your, you know what I mean? Yeah. Who are you in your relationship? Like what are you? In my current relationship? Yeah. What do you, what role do you play in the relationship do you think? Honestly, I play stay at home mom even though I'm the breadwinner.

See, this is, but the way that you see, okay, stay at home mom even though you're the breadwinner. Completely. What is giving stay at home mom? mom. Like I will cook, I will clean. Um, I will, I will, I'm practically unemployed, even though I do have a full time job. But that's like the entertainment industry. You know what I mean? It's like when I'm working like working really hard, I'm an actor. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, you know, I might be working multiple days in a row. Yeah. But it's not going to compare to anyone else's jobs. No.

but I will say like since I was a kid like I always remember seeing stay at home moms and being like that does look fucking sick it's a good gig oh my god heaven yeah heaven on earth not to say it's not difficult stay at home mom community get out of the comments before you even get in there it's difficult it's labor oh of course they're working yeah they're working the kids yeah they're working in their house in pajamas and that's lovely. I also do that and I'm very lucky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love that shit. Right. That's the other thing is like there are times I don't need to, I mean, I could not leave the house for a full week at a time almost. Really? That's the way my job goes. Yeah, I get depressed quick. Well, I do too, but that's not like that's what's getting me out of the house. You know what I mean? I need

an external factor to get me out of the house. Like what? What works the best? Usually work. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Nice. My work often won't take me out of the house unless it's to come. I mean, I guess that's not true. I just mean like on a day-to-day when I have free time, there's nothing, like any work that I need to do that can be done from home, writing emails, whatever the fuck. We'll be done from. Can be done from home. If I stay home alone for more than 26 hours, I'm going to a dark place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not that I don't like spending time with myself. I just need to like spend time with myself at the park, at the grocery store. store at the apartment.

Yeah. Like I have to see other people. Don't you have to talk to them. I should have to be around other people and things than my house. Something just happens. Well, you know what is affecting my mental health in this way? Tell me now. Is that I live in a garden level unit.

You do. And so like my bedroom, like technically there are windows, but I would be facing the street at eye level. Yeah. So I have to have. curtains. Almost lost that word completely, by the way. I have to have...

Cover the windows. They cover the windows. My brain went... They cover the windows. Curtains. So I have to have curtains. And then in my living room and kitchen, like, I have natural light, but like, again, like, I'm on the ground. Yeah.

And so for me, it's like, if I'm home for multiple days in a row, it doesn't even feel like that because there's no time in my apartment. Yeah. There's no daylight and there's no nighttime. Yeah. Because every hour of the day, the lamps are on. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. The time in your apartment is always apartment. Oh, I've Googled so much recently, like, like Reddit thread, garden level apartment makes me want to die. And honestly, not enough, there's not enough Reddit threads as I thought there would be. Yeah. There's like one where it's like, yeah, I moved out of it and I did feel better.

And I remember being like, no, no, no, no, no. We need to get, we need to talk. How do we fix the garden unit? We seriously need to talk. None of us are okay, right? Yeah. It's crazy. Do you think you move out?

Yeah, one day. Yeah, okay. My rent is really good. Yeah. And that's kind of just what I'm working with at this point. Yeah. It's really hard, like, you know, even if I know I can afford more, rent is just one of those things where it's like, well, if I can save on that, might as well.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? 100%. And also in New York. Truly, I would be doubling my rent. To find something similar. Yes, because that's actually how good my rat is. I've been to your place.

I know. It's pretty gorgeous. It's a great place. Right. Did you notice the lack of windows? Yeah. I can't, I will kill myself. No, completely.

If I live in a garden unit. That's the truth. I can't. I found some, there's two things I can't do. Yeah. I found some incredible apartments in New York that I look at it and it's a garden unit. Can't do it no matter what. No matter how great everything else is,

I personally can't do it. it and then there's nothing I found where I'm like, whoa, this apartment is awesome. What's going on here? Why is this like so cheap? And then you do the Google Street View and then you turn two feet to the left and there's a highway. Yes. Like a raised highway. That happens a lot. Yeah. Well, you know, on Street EZ specifically, I feel like you look up like Fort Green because it's like, you know, everyone in New York is like that's the ideal place to live. You know what I mean? And it's like, But one block outside of Fort Green is under a highway, and that's where all the open apartments are. Yeah.

So it's kind of like otherwise you're not getting, you're not living anywhere. And also those apartments, their entire business model is trick someone into living here for one year. Right. They'll leave. Right. As soon as that lease is up, they'll leave. Right. But you trick a newcomer to the city into living here for one year and then they'll go.

Yeah. They're turning those apartments over every 12 months. Did you feel like you got tricked when you moved to New York for the first time? Like, did you get duped at all? No, they hadn't gotten rid of brokers fees yet, and I paid a psychotic. I want to say my broker's fee was in the six or seven thousand. I did that once as well. Of money that I, it was just like, you can't get this apartment unless you pay.

It was highway robbery. And it's crazy because like, oh no, like that money's actually gone. Yeah. I remember leaving that apartment where I paid a crazy broker's fee. And when I moved out, I kind of was like, oops. Yeah. That wasn't worth it at all. Yeah.

Like, it doesn't matter that I was there for. over two years. Like, I know that's not even that long, but I'm like, it really doesn't matter. Like, every day,

just a few dollars were slipping out of my pocket because of that purpose fee. More than a few. More than a few. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy.

Yeah, they, people who work in real estate, many of them need to go to prison. Totally. Many of them are doing unfathomable crimes. And I will completely agree with you

and even add my mom's a real estate agent. Totally. And I don't know how she's doing her business. No, she absolutely. She needs to be locked up. Lock him up, lock her up. Your mom is one of my favorite people.

I know. She is so completely epic. She's an icon. She really is awesome. She's everything to me. She's the reason I get out of bed in the morning. She's the light of my life. She's who I think at award shows.

Yeah. She is the mother of my children in some ways. Absolutely. She's my mother in many ways. Because you guys do have children together. You just are very absent. Yes, we do. Uh-huh.

And she knew. when she knew I was a snake when she picked me up. Right. And by the way, it was crazy she got pregnant in her 70s. Yes. But that's the way things go. I'm extremely virile. It's not a word I've ever heard before.

So I got your mom pregnant in her 70s. Whatever, dude. Wait, what does virile mean? Technical definition. I think it just means like male version of fertile. Okay. Chance fact check me. Virile.

I think so. V-U-O? V-I-I-I-I-I-I-. I have seen it. I just never thought to say it out loud. I don't think that's the one. Is it V-I-R-R-I-L-E? I think it's V-I-R-I-L-E. That's V-I-R-I-L-E. That's one of my other favorite words, V-I-R-I-L-E. You can just put it on the screen. I dare you. I dare you. I dare you put it on the screen. Let us see it on the screen. V-R-R-I-L, yeah, having strength, energy, and strong sex drive. Okay. That is how I would describe you. Yeah. I thought it was more about like the

like fertility of my seed. You were hoping it was specifically about semen. Yeah, I wanted it to be about my seed. Right, right. How do you feel about me calling semen my seed? I think it's amazing. I really appreciate it. Like that? I love it a lot. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Nice. Well, it's just a, you know, calling it your seed. It's an easy way to slip it into any conversation ever. Yeah. Oh, the other day I was spilling some seed. Right, right, right. Yeah. That was one of my favorite parts of the Bible as a kid. Is the spilling your seed part? Well, they were like, thou shalt not spill. seed outside of a womb on the earth or whatever. And I was like, spilling seed is a sick bar, actually.

No, it is a good, like, it's a perfect alliteration. It just works. Yeah, coming is so like, what are you an animal? I know. But spilling seed is a bit like, aw-oh. I know. He spilled seeds. Well, spilling seed is also, like, the way that I do like to think about it.

Yeah. When I really sit down and I think about sex, straight sex. Yeah. I know you're speaking of gay sex, but I'm speaking of straight sex. Yeah. When I think about it, that's how I like to think about it. Yeah. Yes.

The man spills his seed. Yes. And the stork brings that baby in. Yeah. I also like, I think my favorite part of is spill. Mm-hmm. Because it implies that it's always sort of a haphazard accident. Right.

Like I just, I spilled my seat in there. Yeah, you just going to, like I knocked over a glass of my seed. Oh, fuck. I spilled my fucking seed. Oh, whoops. I'm so fucking sorry. Oh, I drop my seat again. God damn.

Yeah, it's kind of like goofy. It's like Mr. Bean or something. Yes, it is. It's like, oh, there goes my seat again. God. Yeah, whole time it's come. The whole time. Whole time it's come.

It's never switches throughout the whole story. Yeah. Hey, by the way, you want to know something I realized? I wish you would tell me. This is my first time ever going on a podcast for the second time. Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, I find that hard to believe.

I know. You're such a fabulous guest. I think that's true. You are. As I said it, I'm kind of like, maybe it's not. No, I think it's true. Do you think it's true that this is your first time being a second timer? Mm-hmm. Wow.

And so I figure I just, you know, I know we've already spoken some bits, but I figure I'll just from here on out do the same things I did last time. Yeah? Yeah. What were they? Same stories. I remember from the first time you were on, probably my favorite memory of having you on was you talking about that you were like, I was so convinced that I was straight in high school.

I thought it was ironic that I was on this. softball team. Completely. That is an all-timer. That is an all-timer. And like, I think what I like about that story is that people are like, come on, she had to know. And it's like, no, I didn't have to know anything.

I didn't have to know shit. I'm an idiot. I was so focused on not failing out of seventh grade. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't think about a sexuality. No way. Yeah.

What do I look like thinking about sexuality? I'm literally about to flunk out of middle school. And also, I think I might have said. this that on the last podcast, but I do want to reiterate, like, the boys that I grew up with were smoking hot. Yeah. Say that. So I seriously am like, how was I to know?

Yeah. The girls I grew up with dumb as fuck, stupid. Really? Yes. Yes. So you had these stupid girls. Holy sexes. These dumb.

You're like, you're like, the girls were fucking idiots. The boys were fine. I was surrounded by disgusting dumb girls. Bimbo's, yeah. And sexy, sexy boys. Yeah, these are like six and seventh graders, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I can speak unto high school as well. Untoo. High school as well. Untoo? That's so interesting. Yeah, heterosexuality, it briefly of course plagued me. Right. And God, I'm happy it didn't stick.

I know. Do you think about, is there a turning point in your life where had something gone a little bit differently, you would have never come out? It's a really good question. Okay. No. Really? I think in every lifetime I come out.

Whoa. I really do. I just feel it was so overwhelming. She makes me emotional. That's so cute. I'm like, I just don't think I'm capable. I don't think, I guess maybe if I had a different mom. Sure.

Maybe that would be the thing. But that's too far. Like, then you wouldn't exist. Then it wouldn't be me. Yeah. I'm like with my mom, there's no way. Yeah. Because I just am so cute.

Yeah. I just am so like she, I am too. opinionated and was encouraged to be opinionated. And I don't see how I could ever. What about you? Well, first of all, like, that is so cute. And shout out to your mom. Shout out Kelly.

Oh, my God. She's all. Unbelievable. Don't mind her at all. I've thought about it. Like, maybe if, okay, from high school, I went to Skidmore College, which is a smaller liberal art school in upstate New York. And it was like, if I didn't get into Skidmore, I would have gone to University of Arizona,

probably. Yeah. And I do think I would probably. be straight if I went there. Really? Yeah, I don't see like me, like being in sorority life. Like I know you were like in a fraternity. Yeah.

But like I don't see me as the like drinker that I was specifically in high school going to a sorority and like realizing anything about myself. I feel you would only be more lesbian. I don't know. To be in a sorority at Arizona State, those girls are munching rug. Okay, but I went to an all-girls high school. Yeah, and I had not a single clue. That's crazy.

So what were you thinking? I know. You were just getting drunk with these girls and it was never coming up? No. That's so funny to me. I mean, no, that's not true. Like, I had some, like, weird, you know, sexual moments with my friends. That's not true.

Hold on. That's not true. I'm like, literally, no, Caleb, we didn't do anything. And then I'm like, well, we used to lay next to each other and do some sorts of shit. Yeah. But it still wasn't like gay in my eyes. head. Right. It was like, I don't even want to get more specific. What's good about loving a friend, yeah. And having like a guy in your class on video chat. Like, hello. You know what I mean?

That's you're going to do stuff. Yeah. Right. It's for him. If it's for him, it's straight. Right. Yeah. So, so what's the problem? I'm not sure. Yeah. But yeah, I do still think there there's a chance. I would never come out. Really? But I think I would have to be a really different person. Of course. And I think it will be dark. And I do think perhaps I would be like all right. Yeah.

Whoa. Not that I think I'm capable of that, but I'm just saying like, honey, we're all capable of that. Come on. All it takes is like one bad, one bad day for anyone to be like, you know what? I'm picking up the alt-right flag. I just think it's like if I went to University of Arizona, if I found myself in sorority life amongst too many Republican friends, who knows what would have?

happened. Yeah. Maybe I would have never come out. At the least, I'd be working for a barstool. Minimum. At the least. Bare minimum. And bare minimum, you'd be at barstool.

And by the way, I've thought about that a lot. I'm like, there really was like, because I went to a liberal arts school, that's why I'm not on barstool. Also, I was kidding earlier when I said that anyone can be all right. Right. No, I know. You are always making jokes on this podcast. Well, that's the thing is I need to tighten up a little bit. Because people think everything you say is serious.

No, I just think it would be nice to get more serious. You know, I'm getting older. I think it would be nice to like get a little more serious. I think so too. You know, stop kidding around so much. Well, honey, you're wearing a hat inside. You know what I mean? If you really want to take yourself seriously, you'd start making these choices.

What did you say about my hat? You're wearing a hat inside. Is that not? I don't think that's something that. What's the word I'm thinking of? That intellectuals. Intellectuals is the word that I struggle to. think of.

Intellectuals do. You don't think I'm intellectual because of the hat? Yeah, well, I think if anything, could be a fedora. Yeah, really. Would you be so serious right now? Yeah. What would you do if I was wearing it? Like, if you had walked in here today and I was wearing a fedora and no one was commenting

on it, would you say something? Unfortunately, I would have thought it was like a nod to me because I'm a lesbian. I would have been like, oh, Caleb, you goofy guy. Yeah. But if you looked at me and were like, hmm. then I would have gone fully red in the face. Yeah. Peed my pants a little bit.

Yeah. And been very, very scared. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Good to know. That kind of shows the power you have, too. That's nice.

Right. I love to be powerful. Yeah, I love that. Mm-hmm. That's really nice. Yeah. Oh, my God. Is there ever a time in your life you wore a fedora?

Yes. Oh. Yes. You know when it was? What? I let a bunch of kids on a mission trip, on a youth group mission trip, talk me into shaving my head

into the George Costanza haircut. Wait, which was what again? Hair on the side, balled on top. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I let them shave my head like that. And then I was like, guys, okay, it's funny, we got the picture, shave the rest of it off.

And they're like, no. And I was like, what? And so then they're like, no, you should keep it like this for the whole mission trip. And I was like, okay, because they were like, that'd be funny. And I was like, okay. And so then I was like, it's really funny.

But then we have to go out to like dinner and it's not so funny. So I was like, it's funny when it's just us. But at dinner, it's not very funny. Right. So I bought a fedora. And I wore a fedora over my bald spot. And then I got, oh, I spent too much money. I spent like about a pretty expensive fedora.

Yeah. And I accidentally spent too much of my money on it. So then I ran out of food money. No. And then my youth pastor had to lend me money. No. And my mom called me and was like, hey, did the youth pastor have to give you money

because you spent too much on a fedora after you shaved your head? And I said, yeah. And then she goes, okay, we'll talk about it when you get home, have fun. And I was like, okay. Yeah. And that's kind of my fedora journey. Right. And I bet this is going to strike the court of millions of people. You are seriously not alone. I speak for we are Charlie Kirk.

We shave our head at a youth group. We are all Caleb. I just have to say like, you are smart though because if you are trying to tell people, I have hair. Yes. But I need to cover the top. Fedora is the move.

I am. You are Caleb Heron. I am Caleb Heron. Yes. We are all Caleb Heron. There's nobody who's not Caleb Heron. No. Nobody. Nobody. Everybody listening to this, you are Caleb Heron.

Yes. Print the shirts, Caleb. You are Caleb Heron. Thank you. We are all Caleb Heron. And then it's a picture of me in a fedora where you can kind of tell that my head is shaved half bald. Yeah, you see just the sliver. Yeah.

Because it's glimmering. It's shining. I have a picture of it somewhere. Oh, I would love to see. Why don't I try to find it really quick? I'm also looking. You were a chance? I'm looking for it.

Wow. We are Caleb Heron. You know what year it was? Buddy. If you think I know stuff like that. 2009? Like 15. 18-ish? Yeah, in 2009, I would have been 14, 15, yeah.

This is going to take away too. Do you know what? I'm not even kidding. While I was scrolling, do you know what just came up, Grace? What? This picture of us. That picture is so cute. We are so cute. It's really a good. What year was this? This was 2018. So cute. I was so in love with you then. I know me too. God knows what happened.

That time was, oh my God. This is the closest we're going to get, I think. Yeah, so that's when they finally shave the rest of it off. Oh my God, I'm obsessed. Look at how cute your head is. That's when they finally shave the rest of it off, yeah. By the way, I meant to say this a couple minutes ago when you were just telling this story, but I do know you could rock a buzz cut.

You think so? In this current day. You think so? Yeah. I get scared of it. I know because you do. So cute. Take these away.

You do have, like, really good hair. and that has been consistent for many a years since I've known you. Thank you. But there's something just about like your skin tone and your hair where I know the buzz cut will work. Because that's where buzz cuts can get scary. Yeah. Is when someone's, the way that those two things contrast is not working, but yours, it does. Mm-hmm.

I'm scared. I'm scared. Mm-hmm. No. I'm scared. I'm serious. No. Because, um, I want one.

Yeah. I want a buzz cut. Right. But there's that... Maybe think about how easy showers will be. You won't have to cry before you get in. You know? It tells you like you can't do it.

Right. And then you have your good friends sit across from you and say that you could. Right. That's me. You know? I am Caleb Heron. We are all Caleb Heron. Yeah, maybe I'll do it.

Yeah. You know what I've had to have a petrifying thought of. Tell me. By the way. Why am I actually crying? Are you really? I got a little bit of tears. I was kind of walked in

in the scene there for a moment. Right. Yeah. It was beautiful being in the scene with you. It was really beautiful. Yeah. And you really, I'd stand by what I said.

We are killing. What are you saying? Okay, so God bless me one day I will play a lesbian in a TV show or a movie. I don't think so. One day,

one day it'll happen. I don't think so. No, I know because they are too busy casting straight people. Yes. However. Yeah.

This is not a political statement, by the way. They're great actors. Straight people are great actors. Yeah. I've always said that. Yeah. But I do kind of think that if I only have one role in my lifetime, one lesbian role in my lifetime, there's a good chance that it's for some, for some reason, a lesbian in the 80s. Wow.

I just think that's in the cards for me. If that is true, we're talking really, really short hair. Yeah. And I just do feel like, you know, if I'm going to have. finally get my role of playing lesbian in something, it's going to be with the most fucking stupid haircut I've ever had to experience in my whole life, and I will just have to have that. Yeah. Are you going to get the cut for real? I think I will, because I'm a serious actor. Okay. I can't wait. I have, I auditioned for something somewhat recently where they were like,

would love to know if you would cut your hair, and it was a really bad haircut. And I told my agent, like, let's say yes. And she was like, no, Grace, I don't think you should. she was genuinely before I even got a callback for the role she was like I don't know I don't think it will look that good like she was really protecting me there you have to wake up the day this movie wraps

and beat you still you still have to live in that hair but I was ready because I'm really serious you're committed you studied at Juilliard and what didn't you have a I didn't study at Juilliard Caleb I taught Oh fuck I'm sorry

Yeah. How did that come about? I don't know. I was 13. Yeah. And I honestly was just walking around that campus wherever it is. You were walking around Julia when you were 13. Uh-huh.

And I started talking to some people and slowly people started gathering more and more and more. Yeah. And next thing I knew, they asked me to come back the next day. What were you talking about? What was I talking about? What were you talking about that people were gathering? I was honestly talking about. Process?

Yeah. Yeah. I was talking about process. I was talking about, you know, having a routine. Mm-hmm. Because at 13, that's all you have. Sorry, just so I'm clear. Because I want to make sure I understand.

When you were 13, living in Los Angeles. Yeah. You were walking around the campus of Juilliard. Which is. In New York. Talking about process and routine. And people started gathering. Yeah.

And they liked it so much, they asked me to come back the next day. Okay. Yeah. And when you went back the next day, just so I understand, you were offered a teaching position? Yes. It was a salary position. Huh. Which, by the way, I wasn't making a lot.

You know, teachers don't make a lot. Yeah. It was like 65K. So obviously for 13, that was pretty good. Yeah. But, you know, hindsight, it wasn't that great. How'd you taught before that? Yeah.

Where? It's embarrassing. Harvard. Yeah. I know. It's humiliating. Yeah. Because now you're part of the problem.

Well, and it also just wasn't Harvard, though. Like, it was Harvard law. Yeah. And so, yeah. At 12, 11, 10, not nine. Nine. Yeah. Stop. Yeah.

You were teaching at Harvard law when you were nine. Yeah. Wow. Honestly, same exact situation, by the way. I was just walking around the campus. Talking about processing routine. Yeah. As you do.

You were also on Epstein's flight logs. Well, that's where things get tricky with my history because there's a lot of things Wikipedia says about me. Yeah. And that thing that it says about me. But that was when you were much older. That was like two years ago.

Yeah. He had already passed. You were just still taking the plane. And so, because that's the thing is like, I just do feel like no one, when they were trying to release Epstein's list, No one was saying if they were on it or not. So I honestly just raised my hand.

Yeah. And that's unfair because he had already passed when you were on the jet. Exactly. It wasn't even going to that place anymore. No. So it really was just bad luck. Yeah. Like wrong place, wrong time.

Yeah, that whole thing was a mess. He was a friend. Right. Yeah. And we, I mean, you were very close to being there also. On the island? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't make it. he had asked me Jeffrey had texted me and said hey we're going to work to get the jet to the island this weekend do you want to come

we're going to get into some stuff and I had said what kind of stuff are you getting into and he said I don't really text about it would come through and I was going to go but I was on my way to the air strip

I was making my way to the air strip I was city biking and a voice yelled out to me and said Caleb And I turned and it was, oh, I forget his name. He was the mayor of New York for a time. Rudy Giuliani. It was Rudy.

Yeah. And do you remember Rudy Giuliani from being the mayor of New York? Yeah, I do. He was yelling out to me from a bodega. And I looked over, this is 2013. Yeah. And I looked over and he was in there with Barack Obama. Mm-hmm.

And was her name? Hillary? No, she was already on the island. I was going to meet up with her there. This was the girl who played, it was Rudy Giuliani, Barack Obama, and the girl who played the lead girl and saved by the bell. I never watched that show. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly Ripper?

Kelly. What was her name? Jennifer. Or not Jennifer Love Hewitt. What was her name? The girl that played the lead and saved by the bell. The lead girl and saved by the bell, Burnett. Do you want the actresses name? Yeah, Tiffany. Tiffany. Tiffany. Tiffany. Tiffany. Tiffany. Tiffany Theson. Oh, got it. It was Rudy, Barack, and Tiffany in the Bredega. They were playing dice.

And he said, come play dice for this. And I did. And then we got cross-faded in there. Right. Right. And I missed the fucking fight. Yeah. And so I still don't know what they got up to. I know.

That is like, that I know that's one of your biggest regrets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tiffany's incredible at cards and dice. Yeah. Really? Yeah, she really is something.

So you guys were doing dice. and you were like playing poker? Yeah, well, it ended up being a long night. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I woke up. A bender. It was a bender. Yes, for a lack of a better term.

Mm-hmm. And, yeah, I woke up. Rudy had left around three or four. He went to after is at Club Coming or something. There was something going on at Club Coming. He was trying to get a group. He was like, let's go to Club Coming. I was like, I was just there the other night.

and I woke up with not in the same bed but in a hotel room in Atlantic City with Barack and yeah the cast the cast of Save by the Bell had come really all of them had come through that's so cool they're also so close

yeah they are and yeah we had ended up in Atlantic City but it was fun to see those guys I hadn't seen them in a minute right and yeah that's one of those things about New York you're doing this and you're not even I'm even making eye contact with me.

It's like, it's like the most. I'm trying to be like, how long is he going here? It's the most useless bit to begin with. Yeah. But then to also never let it in. It is amazing. I think, I mean, what do we think that was? Four, four minutes, minimum?

But that's New York. You go out thinking your night's going to be one thing. You end up at the, and then that's New York. That's New York. Yeah. That's New York to me. That's my New York anyway. At this point, do you feel like, okay, New York is so fucking awesome?

What do you mean? Because you've lived here for a little bit now. A little bit. But you still kind of go all over? Yep. So now are you like, I love New York? Or are you like, New York is still kind of New York to me? Well, here's the funny thing.

My friends in New York... Because you were pretty L.A. Pilled for a while. Okay, so this is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to go into that conversation. I'm just saying. I just don't want to have tension. I don't want to have conversation. A lot of my friends who lived in New York before I moved here, they're like,

you totally flip-flop on New York. And I'm like, that's actually not true. I have always loved New York and always hated many things about New York. Right. And I still hate all of those things about New York. Mm-hmm. And I live here anyway. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Why did that happen? Well, I love L.A., but I was tired of being 29 years old and texting people to go out and do stuff and they're telling me that they're in bed and it's 9 p.m. Right. I couldn't do it anymore. I was like, this is going to be really appropriate in 15 years. Right. Right now.

We need to. Everyone, like, needing to get to bed so they can wake up for a sunrise, you know, yoga class. Right. That's not the space that I'm in. I know, I know. And I'm not even a party or anything like that. I just want to be doing stuff.

Yeah. So I'm loving New York. Yeah. People do things. Yeah. People have a life here. People do stuff. Right.

And that's L.A., it's like very, people do stuff in L.A. for sure. But it's just my, my most frequent experience in L.A. was that myself included, we would go out to a dinner or a drink and then the night was over. Yep. And I'm like, I'm looking for a little more. Right, right. Activity right. Definitely.

That's all. Yeah. Yeah. And that is what New York has. And when I go to L.A., I find myself falling to sleep. Just being there. Yeah. At the wheel.

Yeah, I'm falling asleep with the wheel. No, it is nice. I mean, it's like I do, I did have a great time in L.A. I like, it's like, there's something really great about the pace in L.A. sometimes. It could be lovely. Yeah. When you want that pace, L.A. is to die for. Yeah.

But I also get that when I go to Kansas City. I'm like, Kansas City has stuff going on. I know, I know. But it's like a nice place to like relax as well. So how do I feel about New York? Well, I love it. I just need to know when I'm supposed to come to Kansas City. Anytime.

But like, let's go. Can you tell me, like, give me, like, an option or two of, like, best weekends to come? Yeah. And I'll be there. Okay. Unless you feel like it's actually so all around awesome that I just can come at any time. You can come at any time and we'll have a great time. Yeah.

I would say, I'm kind of encouraging everyone all the time to come for the benefit show for the tenant union. it's in the fall. Yeah. It's always a blast. Right. And it's like a big fun night and a great will every time. Yeah.

But you can come to kids in any time, babe. Yeah. Come stay at my house. Holmes and I were just talking about doing a writing retreat there to finish up some projects that we need to finish. Not together.

Who is, who did you say? Holmes. Chelsea Holmes. I'm unfamiliar completely. Do you know? They were an I-O person. No. Non-binary.

I don't think so. A lot of overalls when we were in Chicago. Really dark brunette. For a couple of months, one year. Yeah, no, I don't know. Yeah, non-binary. Totally. Used to drink quite a bit.

Hmm. You'd think I'd be familiar, but no. Right. I'm trying to think if there's anything else. I don't think I know who that is. They were in overcompensating, Benny Skinner show. I know every, I feel like I can list everyone on that cast, but I don't know the name you're saying. Yeah.

I just don't know it. Obviously tough. I'm not super close with them, but I used to be. Right, right, right. But that sounds amazing. Yeah. And I will join for that. Grace, I have a question for you.

Yeah. What is so true to you? Okay. I feel, here's what I need to preface this with. Okay. I'm absolutely open to, I'm completely open to like any thoughts people have on this. But I want to just say I'm really passionate about it.

And so I really want people to before they kind of go, what? Just stick with me here, okay? Okay. What's so true? is that Christmas should be in February or March. Yeah, easy. Oh, thank you. Done. Done. Yes. Yeah.

Okay. And my main reasoning being that we're filming this right now in December. Yes, we are. And it's like, I'm having an amazing time. It snowed a couple days ago. There's still snow outside, which is fucking beautiful. The snow is not dirty. And all the Christmas lights and everything are up. And it's magical. In February and March, New York's, will look so horrible.

Yes. And as did Chicago when we lived there and as in upstate New York when I've lived there, it will look so horrible and there's not a Christmas light to be seen. We need the cheer. We need the cheer. Also, can I just say,

two major holidays in November and January already. Thanksgiving and my birthday. Yep. So to have Christmas in December is a little bit like, let's just like relax, move it to March. When it's needed. When it's needed. Yeah.

That's what Jesus would want. I like that. And here's the deal. It gives us time to, like, admire and celebrate these other holidays, Hanukkah and Kwanza. Yeah. Christmas just absolutely fucking steam rolls the others. Yeah. It's not right.

Yeah. And it's potentially important to know that Christmas, it does come from a fictional storybook. Yeah. And so I do think, let's change it. Let's change it. Let's take what we can. Okay, we can't change, what's it called when now the lights, the sun goes down early? Winter.

No, you guys know what I was like, charm of the Equinox? No, come on. Daily savings. We can't change daylight savings. They won't let us. We should, though. We should. But I sworek a few years ago, there was major articles saying that someone was trying.

Do you know what I have been saying for a long time? What? we should have it should be one time everywhere if it's one so fucked up i already know i already not hold on hold on if it's one p.m in new york and it's daytime then it's one p.m. in australia it's one p.m. in london and it just means different times for different places it's it's one p.m. everywhere you go hey do you want to have a phone call at one p.m. tomorrow you say that everyone it's one p.m. but some people would say no because one p.m. is the middle of their night. So then you go, it's like, okay, so you know,

you know how you have to do, you know how you have to do so much math about the times. That's easy for me, but continue. It's easy for me too. I love addition. It's one of my favorite math forms. Okay. And subtraction. Okay.

Well, I'm not saying it's difficult. I'm just saying it's silly and superfluous to be doing that. We could have one time everywhere. Okay. I'm hearing you. Like, I want to be fully agreeing. you. Okay. I just have a few questions. Ask them. My first question is like, so then like what hours of the day do people work? They work whatever the like daylight, like so they work like

whatever, okay, so you know how you know how you know right now. You said that like five times. You know how right now it's like nine to five. Yeah. That's like the classic one right? That's the classic one. That's totally classic. It's the one I know and love. That's the totally classic one. Yeah. But instead it would be like, okay, you're going to work. sunrise for seven hours or whatever. We would find a way to do it. Okay, okay, I like that.

People waking up at sunrise every day. No, it's like we would find a standard way. That's kind of where I wanted your answer to go. So it is still based on sunrise. It's based on sunrise. But I think the tricky part is then like, you know, sunrise changes a couple minutes or so every day, maybe. Totally.

That seems right, guys. So what I'm saying is like you wouldn't do it day by day. Okay. Like, say we were going to set New York as the standard. Okay. That you'd say, okay, New York's workday is 9 to 5. Mm-hmm. Well, that means that L.A.'s workday would be like, you know, freaking.

Freaking. And theirs would be like whatever their hours were. Of course. Don't make demand do math. So it'd be like, okay, ours is 9 to 5, there's is noon to 8, because that's out there. do you know what I mean like that's where the sun do you understand I'm saying I think so well the sun rotates yep yeah so I just want to make sure though

that we are not having art are you having places where it will be dark for their their work day work hours no okay so you're trying to avoid that no is that my question to I'm avoiding that. That's totally avoided. Me saying, is that my question to you? That's your question to me. Because I'm that confused right now.

And I've avoided it. And I want to tell you when we make this change, we're also going to a four-day work week. Yeah, that's huge. We're going to a four-day work week. That is so impactful, Caleb. Yeah, Monday through Thursday. I really want you to follow through on this. Monday through Thursday.

No, I don't want you to, I don't want to text you in a week and you go, oh, I dropped this idea. No. I want you to really make this happen. I think you can. Four-day work week is the moderate proposal. Yeah. Five and two is one of the most fucked up. It's.

Things I've ever heard. Because I literally, and I really am saying this was so much immense privilege because I rarely work five days a week. Yeah. But I seriously, it's like Friday at 6 p.m. comes around and I'm like, great, it's already Saturday. Yeah. And then Saturday, well, that's Monday, honey. Yeah. That's how depressing it feels.

Sunday's Tuesday. Yeah. It's not right. It's not right. This isn't working. I remember a friend of mine, his job, like, maybe six years ago, switched to four days a week and, like, actually productivity and his whole work. I know this is like everyone knows this kind of thing. And Europe does this shit all the time.

But the productivity over his whole workplace, like every employee went up 40%. Yeah. Well, because a lot of those places that have switched to four day work weeks, they put in other protocols as well where it's like, no meetings without an agenda. No agenda is longer than a page. Like, they put things in place. Which is a bummer because my favorite kind of meeting. has no agenda. Right.

But I understand it for people who are at work. For productivity. Yeah. For productivity. Yeah. Yeah. Europeans are lazy.

Is that what it is? I'll let you say that. They just fuck off for the middle of entire days and whole months. Yeah. Sorry. I like, I'm actually going back. We're going to keep the times the way they are and we're going to work eight to

seven. Really? Yeah. Eight to seven? I love America. I just got really pro-America. Are you going to five now? No.

I don't think Europeans are lazy. I'm quite july. jealous and that's where that came from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm jealous of the way they treat work. Right. I mean, they make the, yeah, you see their salaries and you go, I understand why you're getting the time off. Well, okay. I mean, no, that is crazy. Europe gets they, I mean, my friend who lives in France, she has like all of August off. Yeah. All of it. Yeah. How is that possible? I'm unsure. I'm jealous. I'm completely jealous. It pisses me off. But here's something with my Christmas idea. Say it. I realize that the hardest mental block for people will,

be that, you know, Christmas time is our biggest, like, work break of the year. But I'm saying we're adding more. I'm saying now we keep our Christmas time off. Yes. For Hanukkah and Kwanza. Yes. And for New Year's. I want to thank you, by the way, for adding Kwanza into the whole mix. Of course. You've been really fighting for Kwanza. I'm really fighting for Kwanza. And that's beautiful. Well, absolutely. Yeah. Do I know really very much about Hanukkah or Kwanza? No. No. But you know what? That's okay. Realistically, I know, very little about Christmas as well. I know little about much.

Yeah. I know Santa honey. That's what I know. Yeah. So what I'm saying is if we do Christmas in, I want to do February, but let's say March, why not? Yeah. But maybe we should do February just there's still snow on the ground. Do you know what else we could do?

Hmm. Every month. Yeah. We work the first, second and third week of the month. Ooh, hold on. What about this? Okay. January. Yeah. We work. We don't work the first week of the month. Why would be?

Second, third, and fourth, we work. Yeah. Then we work the first second and third of February. We don't work the fourth week of February. We don't work the first week of March. And we keep going in that pattern. Where there's like six weeks in a row, sometimes where we're all working, but then there's two weeks where we're not. And we do that all year round, baby.

I think that's how it should be. that's a good one because the moment that like a couple um uh like national holidays are over near the beginning of the year it honestly looking at the calendar is really dark it's tough it's really dark you'll be in like February and you'll be like oh shit so we're straight up waiting till 4th of July yeah that's our next like break to have a day off yeah but in my system it's not like that I know and if I think this will say to whoever's listening if you if anybody is in charge this how we do this i'll keep the time the way it is i will give on the time okay as a uh concession if we do my weeks plan yeah yeah if anyone listening has control over that stuff but you don't want

to do you want to do six weeks well i just thought it would be nice because then it that creates the reality where we have two weeks off in a row sometimes i know and the two weeks off is very special especially for vacation kind of stuff vacation but i was thinking like what if just the first week of every month is off. Well, I thought that too, but then the reality is you never get two weeks in a row off. I know. Unless you wanted to use your PTO. Right.

Yeah. You could use it for your own two weeks. I'm talking to friends with corporate jobs. Like, my friend last week was like, what are you doing today? And I was like, I'm like, you know, waiting to see if I'm going into work or not, but what are you doing? He's like, I took the week off. And I was like, how? And he's like, I had vacation time I had to use.

And I truly am like, what does that mean? Yeah. How that doesn't make any sense. Like, I'm happy for him. But that's why corporate America is so bizarre. It's crazy. He literally was like, yeah, I'm not going anywhere. So I just am going to take a week off even though I'm at home in New York.

Yeah. Just because. He should. I know, I know. You have to take that time. I know, but it's just so funny. Yeah. I guess I've just never worked a corporate job in my whole life.

I have. I did service to this. You did. Yeah. You did. I remember that. Yeah. I remember that.

And I remember you. in your corporate job. Yeah, it was not pretty. Crazy. It was not pretty. No, it wasn't. I was showing up to those offices with an outsized attitude. I do feel like you were like borderline getting in trouble sometimes.

Honey, borderline. Okay. I was in trouble. That's what I thought. It wasn't even getting in. I existed in trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I would hit the sweet spot. I would get a new job and I would do what I call hitting the sweet spot, which is where you work a little hard for two weeks when everybody over personality style, take all your sick days quickly, take any PTO that you've accrued, and then just kind of wait from them to fire. You were quit. Right. Right. I, yeah, I was really, I was focused on comedy only. Yeah, was not worried about those day jobs. Well, no. And why would you have been? Didn't care about benefits? Because I was also like, I'm on my mom's health insurance. Sure. Until she's a nurse. So I was on her health. I was lucky to have like a decent health insurance plan. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing.

I was like, I got to Chicago when I was 21 or something, 21, 22. And I was like, I got a couple years of not having to think about benefits. Right. I'm doing whatever I want. Yeah. Also how, like, amazing but also depressing, but the only thing that you really cared about was health insurance. Yeah.

And that's what most people cannot get at all. That's why they don't. I'm like, oh my God. That's why they don't want us to universalize health insurance is because it would disincentivize so many people from working bad jobs. Exactly, exactly. They want us to, Michelle, what's going on over there? Oh, food's here.

Food's here. I didn't know we were still ordering food. that. Did you, did I get something? Nice. I got something too, by the way. Did you? Mm-hmm. Yay, we're gonna eat lunch soon. Just something for you to know. What? Your lunch that your crew got. Yeah. Today, this is how my boy is doing. That, this restaurant is my, I'm really gonna ball out for takeout tonight restaurant. It's only my sushi spot where I'm like, I can't believe I'm doing this. Let's go. So you're so happy.

Yeah, I'm really fucking happy. Making you happy is my only goal. I know. Do you want to play a game? Yeah. Okay. Grace. Miserable already.

Just seeing that clipboard. You know what time it is. Grace, I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 U.S. dollars. That's it. It hasn't gone up since last time I was here. No.

now you get sushi The foo fighters formed in 2000 False False 1994 Michelle Obama went to Yale for undergrad True False Princeton

Mobile is the capital of Alabama True False Montgomery The clown from Stephen King's It is named Pennywise True True The Blackberry was invented in California

True False Waterloo Canada Skidmore College was originally The Young Women's Industrial Club True True.

Dogs have three eyelids. False. True. Fuck. Marge Simpson's mother's name is Madeline. True. False. Jacqueline.

Mariska Hargotei went to Hoover High School. False. Mariamount High School. Identical twins don't have the same fingerprints. True. True. Walmart and Target opened their first stores in the same year. True.

True. The current mayor of Chicago is Brandon Johnson. Oh, I don't know. True? True. True. Snow leopards can leap up to 50 feet in a single jump. True.

True. Jupiter is the largest object in our solar system. False. False. It's the sun. Doctors who are liver specialists are called hepatologists. True. True.

How'd you do? An incredible comeback for the age is 10. Wow. Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace. Hell yeah, queen. Your crew comes lifts me up in my chair. Woo! They're not allowed to move from their seats.

Because I did so bad last time. Yeah. Did you? Well, I didn't win. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, my God. How does my money come in cash? Is it Zell?

It's best not to ask questions. It was so nice to have you on. No, how does my money come? And God, we love you. Grace, tell people where they can find you. You get dragged off in handcuffs. Grace, I love you so much. I love you so much.

Thanks for doing it again, buddy. Of course. I love the So True fan base, and I really love being here. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? Yeah, you can find me on Instagram, TikTok, and other platforms at G-K-U-H-L-E-N-S-E-H-M-D-T, and on the Daily Show. And right now, I think that's about it for me. Okay, that's a lot. Hey, pretty good.

Love you. I love you.