So True with Caleb Hearon - Hannah Berner Loves Girlhood

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Hannah Berner! Hannah and Caleb talk growing up in Brooklyn, past lives, the perils of getting a driver's license, a situation involving the old Pope, motherhood, and much more!  Join our Patreon for an exclusive post-episode chat with Hannah and other bonus content! https://patreon.com/SoTruePodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink  Follow Hannah! @hannahbernerFollow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloudStick to the staples that last—with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to www.Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.Make Any Day Payday!Transform your living space today with Cozey. Visit https://www.Cozey.com, the home of possibilities, made easy.Book now at Booking.com ! There’s no replacement for human connection. Better with people. Better with Alma. Visit www.helloalma.com/SOTRUE to get started and schedule a free consultation today. About Headgum: Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com. » SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1  » FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum  » FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/ » FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. The new McCrispy strip is here. Dip approved by ketchup, tangy barbecue, honey, mustard, honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry, Big Mac sauce, double dipped in Buffalo and ranch, more ranch, and creamy chili McCrispy strip dip. Now at McDonald's. Moms have such a knack, I feel, for just dropping one of the most devastating things you've ever heard.

You know, you'll just like, you'll truly just be at like a cookout, like sitting by the Moms have such a knack I feel for just dropping one of the most devastating things you've ever heard You know you'll just like you'll truly just be at like a cookout like sitting by the pool And your mom will just be like yeah I mean, I just wonder what I would have been capable of if anyone had ever believed in me anyway What's going on with you what the hell is going on with you? What the hell is going on with you? We're rolling. Hannah, we're rolling. Put me on the spot. What's going on with you, dude? Look, I have to say, we have so many mutual friends. It's sick. And were we both playing the cards together with each other? Stop. Stop. Because I was like nervous. Stop. I was nervous. Stop. What are we doing? How have we not collided? Was the energy too strong

between us? It's like sick. Like the chemistry was gonna blow out of the world? Well when two people like you and I get together it's like it's just too powerful. It can be scary. Yeah earthquake-ish. It can go one way. It's kind of like do you remember when Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un They met at the demilitarized zone We're shaking hands with the demilitarized zone. You invite me over into North Korea, I come through. I love that. Mariah, I invite you over, I guess. Yes, yes. I have to be Kim Jong-un, I forgot.

No, we have to stick to that character for the rest of the pod. Everyone, stay with your character. Yeah, it's, it was. I love So True. It's too powerful. The best. I love So True.

Gay podcasting. Oh God. You ever think about him and Melania touching each other? They never have. You think about that? No, they did. They have a kid. Had to happen at least once.

I love her Eastern European just hatred for everything. Her just like dead behind the eyes, like showing up in like the cuntiest hat you've ever seen. Yeah, there's a realness to her for sure Why do we say we just want to talk shit on all the most famous people ever? How about the Pope? What's the vibe with a new Pope? Yeah, what do you because you were posting a little? Can I say something about new Pope? Yeah, it's so funny to me that people are like, I wonder if he's progressive He's the head of an international

Right into it i googled i was like i literally googled was his stance on game and then i was like upset and then i was like okay he's he's the pope yeah they have to stand for something to stand against something yeah that's their thing yeah hating gays hating gays i mean it was so funny

people being like trying to recruit him to be a Republican or a Democrat It's like I think the proofs probably in the pudding they don't allow women to serve like It's like we've already kind of figured out the whole deal, but I love how we're like so excited about it But yeah, we've lost the plot. Oh, we've lost the point last the plot, but also I'm just obsessed with How gay the Pope is the Pope, the papacy itself is so. So gay. It's so, it's nuts. It's like robes and hats and like everyone,

like making everyone gather while you give a speech is like, come on. That's what you and I do every night. Yeah, and even like straight men don't read books. No. Like the pope is going through the Bible, highlighting, repeating quotes he likes. Like that's just book club.

It's also so funny watching conservatives react to something like the new pope because they're like, they're like, oh, damn it, he criticized JD Vance. I wonder what it is. And it's like, he speaks like five languages. He was like a missionary in Peru. It's like, that's not good enough for like Kevin in Oklahoma. You know what I mean? It's like, what have you done, bitch? Not to be in defense of the pope. obviously that makes me sick To think about but did you watch conclave? No, it's the gayest movie you've ever seen but like Honestly queens. Yeah, like by the end you're like I respect all of them Everyone got mad at Pope Francis for saying there was a mess in the Vatican It was kind of like that he said it was something in that air change the exact quote when he said it I was like I could be Catholic. I mean I was like literally that was kind of like that. It was kind of that, he said it. It was something in that air, Chance made the exact quote.

When he said it, I was like, I could be Catholic. I mean, I was like, literally, that's the most, that's the first time I've ever seen myself in Catholicism. Being the head of the Catholic Church and being like, sorry, the Vatican's feeling f***y this week. Can everyone straighten up your wrists? Unlimp your wrists, everybody. I feel like they don't even try to be straight.

No. No. No, they're just being, they're just being cunty in their little What was the quote chance? Oh, I'm looking forward here. He was like he was like there's a penis among the He literally said it was like it was like from it out. There was like a there was like an Italian Yeah, first of all, you can't be straight and speak Italian. Yeah, you can't do that She's like did she? and speak Italian. Yeah, you can't do that. Quiddici, sang dici. Alanguin. It's like stop, you clearly want to be penetrated,

ain't like, chance did we find it? Yeah, I've got it here. Sorry, it's just a lot of people being like, we can't believe the Holy Father would say this. It's like, fragadoccia or whatever. Also calling someone. There's an heir of country in the Vatican. No, I, wait.

He said this. What? He said this, but it was Italian. Him saying heir of anything is gay. There's an air of tree in the Vatican He said this but was Italian him saying air of anything is gay. Yeah, there's an air There's an air no straight man even knows that there's a hint of tree in the Vatican And you're like which word this one that one you're like you said it again. I was like, that's my boy. You don't say that word and you're like, which word? This one, that one? You're like, you said it again. Yeah, there it is again. The church cannot allow the ordnance. There's a gay climate in the seminary.

Look how cunty his hat is. And by the way, he's saying exactly what you're saying. He's like, guys, we're doing too much with the hats and robes. Yeah. Also, I'm sitting here. I'm looking at Chance. He's wearing the Kansas City Chiefs shirt. I um I'm recently on this just like obsession over how gay football is thank you welcome I mean, I can we like buckle the fuck up. Yeah, why do they wear a Britney Spears headset on the sidelines?

Yes, yes, how is that necessary? Yes? Well they need to be calling plays to each other, but I love I feel like there's straighter ways to do it. Yeah for sure like Yeah, use a big thick walkie talkie like a. Like a walkie talkie. Use a flip phone. Use a big, thick walkie talkie like a man. Make a walkie talkie that looks like a grenade. Yeah. Why'd you have to do the cunty little? No, he literally, it's like a pipe.

Oops. Like, why is it that? And then he like loves to rip it off when it's not working, you know, and you're like, someone's getting fired. That's the vibe of the coaches. Yes, literally that. Literally that. Who did the someone's getting fired? Beyonce.

With the pirate. It was the pyrotechnics. Right. Getting fired tonight. That's how I fire people. I don't have a job. I fire so many people. Your last episode was about why you're going to fire. Well, you know, what's so funny is chance. I was just telling chance when I came in today, there was a comment on somewhere, like the TikTok or the YouTube or something, that was like, Chance and I did that bit. And people will so confidently misinterpret an obvious joke. Someone commented and was like, the fact that Caleb's sitting there fucking giggling

and laughing in his face while this man is clearly concerned about his job and his income, like Caleb has obviously lost the plot and gotten too rich to under, I'm like, are you fucking insane? Are you fucking insane? If you have to say mattress from ads they do pay. They do pay!

This guy is not worried about his job at the moment. I do say I walked in there was a fear in the office a little. Yeah, there's a culture of fear. There's a culture of fear, it's so true. You walked in and everyone was like, everyone was like bowing to me. I did, I asked to use the bathroom when you were like that's my toilet. Yeah, you're not allowed to use that Well, that is It's my toilet. I don't know what it's like. You go. Did you sit on the subway with that asshole?

Did you not have one at home? You're not from far from here. I know I should have peed before I got here That was it before you come to my high-rise. Yeah, I own this building Before you come to my high rise, yeah. I own this building, what? Back to football? I was also thinking how they, I love football by the way. This is like, I didn't want Chase. Which favorite team? Chase, wait, I turned you into a frat boy with HPV.

Yeah. Chase. The number of people, I've been friends with Chance for many, many years, 13, 14 years now, and people who have known him for a decade won't slip up and say chase Wait, I love that. You're a literal NBA player like bringing your friends with you. Well to hear the fucking comments tell it But also people perform better when they're a little scared I thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you

Yes, and that's a Mel Robbins quote. Yeah people for perform better when they're a little scared That's why I keep everyone guessing. Yeah, I keep everyone guessing So with the NFL they have they had to be a team you didn't tell me um look I'm I'm Giants But when the Giants are doing bad the Jets Wagon I'm New York that sucks. I know it sucks, but like sometimes the Jets have fucking sucks for a long time I had a lot of when you first said Giants I had a lot of respect for you because they've been going through it the last couple years Yeah, and I thought they're that's a real one and thenants, I had a lot of respect for you because they've been going through it the last couple years and I thought that's a thing.

That's a real one. And then you said, I'm jumping over to Jets, which also isn't going well. No, I'm now with the Mets. I'm turning wherever. I'm moving sports. I'm moving whole sports. But it's all like, we're New York.

Let me embrace that I have multiple teams. You don't know what you would do if Kansas City, well also, I thought Kansas City was multiple states. Oh, you know, it's confusing Can city is on both sides of the state. So I guess you could you could be fluid if you want I am I'm state fluid Kansas, Missouri. Who knows who's to say So they had to make rules to get the guys to stop dancing so much Yeah, like you can't dance that hard. Like, you can't eat that much. Dude, this is something I've been saying for years.

One of the craziest things is that our most hyper-masculine like macho examples of manhood, every time you see them do an end zone dance, you need to remember, they practice that. They ask their friend, is this good? They looked in the mirror with a friend in the locker room, probably shirtless, in their underwear. And they're like, what if I did this?

And five, six, seven, eight, and again, again. And they asked their buddy, would that eat? And he said, yes. And then when they do a group one, like when someone like pretends to bowl and it knocks over all the other guys, they had to go to their buddies at practice and be like, hey, if I get a touchdown this week,

I was thinking we'd do bowling. No, they had a... That is so, there's an era of history in the Vatican. No, they had a... That is so... There's an Arab tree in the Vatican. No, they had a group text. Yes, yes. Where they said, can you come to practice 40 minutes early because we need to hit every fucking beat.

Yes, can you guys stick around after practice today? I want to practice bowling celebration. I literally see them being like, James, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah. You're not fucking committed to the bit. So when I tell you to be a bowling pin and fall over, what does it mean to you?

Yeah, what is your motive right now? Because it's clearly not this. Because I'm not seeing the commitment. You're not seeing it. I'm not seeing the dedication. It's the full dance moms of people. You're not making the pyramid. But this is the thing, let them go.

Let them live. Let them live. Let them be gay. Because it's like they can do certain dances, but if they go too hard, they're like, okay, now it's exposing. Yeah. Also, the whole concept of calling a guy a tight end, when no, I get it, if it's like loose end, tight end, wide end, no, it's all running back, quarterback, full back, tight end seems like some gay guy in the back

Just like put it in yeah, and no one said I think what happens was it happens and they were like we love it me and me one thing They're like a couple of areas of debate where me and like them the straightest most Republican guy You know are like this and one of them is we need to bring back football being violent and nasty Let those boys taunt, let them celebrate. Let them hit people they're not supposed to hit when they're not supposed to hit on. I want them all to have Britney Spears mics.

I wanna know the little shit they whisper to each other after a hit, like yeah, you like that. They are mic'd up sometimes, you ever watch those? Yes. Go on YouTube and search mic'd up NFL best moments. But it does get me upset because then you see the CTE in a full effect. Totally, and here's what I'm saying. Either, I was rid of football because we're scared of CTE, either we're getting

rid of it, which I would live with, or if we're doing violence, if we're doing violence as entertainment, let's fucking do it. Lean and go full gladiator. Stop with the guardian thing, the fucking shields, stop with the penalties for taunting. If we're doing violence, let's do violence. Let them have swords. Let them have swords. Let them have brass knuckles, I don't care.

It's like, that's their choice. Like let them play, let the boys play. Wait, did you ever play football? I did. Cause it's giving Green Bay Packer linemen sturdy. Thank you. Like strong, like you're, I didn't realize when I walked in like, you're tall.

Thank you. Do you wanna to feel my muscles? Yeah The last time a girl felt your muscles Wait no, I knew it I saw athlete in you I saw athlete we low-key strong. Have you like beat up a bitch before? Oh, yeah You like shoving no well sometimes on the train cuz here's what I'll say when a pregnant woman tries to take your seat It's like stand up bitch. Yeah, I didn't get you pregnant. No You don't support it It's like, you're elderly, sorry, congratulations, the privilege is that you're still with us. Stand up. Sorry, we're pro-abortion.

Yeah, whoops, sorry, I'm a woman's right to choose. Sorry. You had a choice, you didn't make it, now stand up. You're a stupid, you're on the decision. No, when you're fat on the train, when you're fat on public transit, people feel so comfortable pushing an elbow on you. They think that you're also an idiot, you don't know how to move. I'm like I am trying to move

There are people in my way. I'm six foot two and 350 pounds we had take the subway seats are not wide enough for anyone No, cuz I'm like I have a booty. Yeah, I have child. What is it called? Yeah We all thought it when I walked in about you and when I sit down I'm like I don't need my hips rubbing against someone else's hips when I'm just trying to go to work Here's what I'm saying if we made I mean Disability activists have been saying this forever if we made the whole world accessible for fat and and and also disabled people

Yeah It would only make everyone's lives better thin people would benefit from fat infrastructure Like if you would stop making the fucking plane seats this big thin people would also benefit from that comfort. It doesn't make any sense It's silly. It doesn't make any sense. I also am guilty of like I Bloat very easily not to brag not some people You're just like me and I don't know why I bloat like I'll eat a whole rotisserie chicken or I'll like sniff a chip Yeah, I don't know what the reason I it's not my business. Why like I'm not the chicken part I was like, it's probably just the sodium. Yeah, but like it's literally anything and I'm not what am I gonna do?

Like what's that thing where people take out stuff from their diet? Like you live once now that I'm not slowly. I'm not a social experiment I'm just trying to survive So I'll I'll blow and I realize like if you just put your hand below the bloat, you look like a fertile angel. So I'll be on the subway and just be like, excuse me. I need to sit down. You're a pregnant queen, yeah. Yeah, and you should.

That's your right. I'm dead serious. That's your right. Don't ever stop that. And also, at any time, I could be pregnant. Yeah. That's so completely true about you. And that's just like womanhood.

You're married. It's so off-brand for me. It's really insane. When I learned that, I was like, that doesn't match. No. No offense. No, it wasn't in my chart. It wasn't supposed to happen. I met a guy during COVID.

Crazy. And people make crazy decisions during COVID. But he's really like a good one where he's like my partner in crime and supportive and like it's nice. How'd you meet during COVID? I feel like it's so chuggy that I'm married. It's really chuggy. No, like- It's not a good look.

It's actually a slur. No, being married is like- No. I'm not saying I thought less of you when I learned it. No, like your eyes- I thought differently. Yeah, you lost all respect. My eyes narrowed a little bit where I was like, oh.

And I'm not trying to be like, I never wanted to get married, but it wasn't the best night of my life. It wasn't a goal for me. I just feel like if you find someone that enhances your life, awesome. And I happen to. And he's older, so he will die soon,

so it's not like a full commitment. Yeah, that would be nice when he goes. I mean, when you meet a guy in his 30s, he has way too much energy, way too much time. Does he have Irish citizenship? He's Irish. Yes. So, well, he actually is.

He was born in the UK, lived in New York, then moved to Ireland. So yeah, we can leave at any time. Is he not Irish? He's Irish American. So he's from Queens, he talks like a trucker. Does he have any other citizenship that you could cash in on?

I'm just trying to look out for you. No, yeah, no, no, no, yeah, yeah. Nice. There's reasons. Does he have assets that will be bequeathed to you when he passes? I believe so. Nice.

Yeah, that's the word, when he passes. There's no reason to marry a man if he doesn't have stuff to leave you. 100%. I just, I feel that way. Yeah, well it's like what value are you bringing? Yeah. What's your dowry for me?

Yeah, exactly. It is, not to quote the great Bethany Frankl. Yeah, not to do that. My money's my money, your money's my money. Exactly, correct. Cause I had to work harder for it. Yeah, I think all the time about if I have money when I die, like if I have stuff to give away,

I really do think I would be one of those, like if I was ever a rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich person, I think I'd be one of those people who gave it away to strangers. Yeah. Like what, my kids who did nothing? Yeah, I love when I hear that they're like, they didn't give it to the kids and the kids are upset.

But you know, what's more fucked up is when they give it to the pet. Yeah. That's like, that's some petty shit. I'm like, who hurt you? That's silly, weird, goofy bullshit, yeah. Do you have any pets? No, I can't.

I want to, I love dogs, but I just am never, I'm never in one place and it's, people, when I say this, people are always like, get a small dog, it can go with you. What do I look like to you? Paracelton. Do I, that would piss me, do you know how hard it is, do you know how hard it is for me to presently show up

to the things I'm supposed to go to? Could you imagine me adding a chihuahua into the mix? My favorite is, I mean, not a lot of comics have it, but if they come with a dog and then they go on stage and like whoever the opener is, it's like, you're a father now. You're watching the dog, yeah. Yeah, which look, I like, it's probably more pleasant

than hanging out with some comedians. Yeah. But yeah, you'd have to take it on the plane and there's some older comics In LA who have gotten a really nice deal where when they do Largo they always request to go up like second and they're like I gotta get home to the cats. They need shots or something I'm like some bad hats that I'm like, you know what? You could just be honest and say you don't want to watch the other sets and you want to go home You've put in your your time. So I have a cat, Butter, shout out Butter.

Shout out to Butter. Someone gave me a gift and it was full of catnip toys and I was like Butter you ready to go fucking buck wild tonight? And I like I threw all the I thought I was like the best mom ever she woke me up at 5 a.m. tonight and she never does that. I'm like what, I'm talking to my husband, even me saying husband is weird, but I'm like what's going on? And then I'm like this bitch is high as a kite right now.

So apparently you have to supervise them when they play with their catnip toys, so I have to take Butter to rehab tomorrow. She's, do you know what catnip is? I fully thought it was food. It's basically like a natural crack for cats, but like you give them a toy And they're just like yeah, this is fun, but my cats like went too hard last night She has I thought she would just take a hit and chill. She's an addict. She's an addict. She has a problem

Yeah, that's okay many people have a problem the opposite of addiction is community So just be there for her and I came on this pod to raise awareness about cat nip addiction. Yeah. And watch out for it. Dude, it would be so cool as an animal if your owner gave you drugs. Like you have no other way to get it. That's what I said. I was like, you're welcome bitch. And then she woke me up all night.

You have no other way to get it. It's like yeah, your owner has to be cool as fuck or else you have to be sober your whole life. Yeah, or but I also feel like she was like, I'm not partying alone. Yeah. That was her vibe. She's like, this is getting sad looking. She was like, get up, this is a bad look. Yeah, like.

She was like, bitch I'm turnt, let's go, out. She was, and I was like, Mom is old, let her stay in. She was like, get up, girl, we're only young ones. She's truly like. She said, Yolo, we're gonna go to the kitchen, then we're gonna go to the living room. She She said kill your fucking husband bitch. We're going out Then I wake up this morning this bitch is passed out yeah, I wake her up, and I'm like glad you had fun

She's on the come down. I was like mama's going on so true in the morning, and now I'm tired of shit She's fucking shaking yeah You got going through fucking withdrawals like walking Phoenix and walk the line Her makeup's everywhere fucking shaking and crying she said please just a little leaving me out you're like stop Stop you have a problem butter quit This pink squid toy to like it's actually country like you just toss it around what's not so cute when she ruins her life about it She's lost her job. She's lost her family at this point. You're a butter. There's $20 missing from my purse Did you steal from me to score?

She's like you're fucking crazy bitch I go you push away all the people who laugh. No but it's not funny. Addiction is very serious. It's not. It's not to understand we're talking about a cat. Before you get upset with us. I love how after every joke you have to go. No.

And that was a bet. Guys we're kidding. That's a cat we're talking about. Oh god I'm so happy I got to bring butter up. And that was a bet. Guys, we're kidding. That's a cat we're talking about. Oh, god, I'm so happy I got to bring butter up. Yeah, that's a new affect I'm trying out for the show today, where after every joke, I go, guys. That is how it feels sometimes, though, don't you feel?

I mean, you podcast. Don't you feel sometimes that you could say truly anything, and some of these dumb fucking morons will be like, they'll just take anything seriously? Do you ever feel like you need to clarify? Everything I say I do think we have we recently we're talking about amber alerts On a while, that's pretty funny to me And just like how like the second you're trying to do something probably stupid like I'm like just Refreshing my Instagram and then an amber alert comes up up and you're like wow you just fucked up my entire

day cuz that that scared me and there's a kid and then yeah that people didn't like that. People are mad about that. I think what would be cool is if every single person alive got to use the amber alert system for personal reasons one time. You get to cash in one in your lifetime. Well, we were like, first of all, it's always the dad. Yeah. Also, why does everyone on the Citizen app have a machete? Citizen app.

What is this? Is that like Nextdoor? Don't get it. OK. It's like I don't have it. I don't participate in any of that kind of shit. Because I have high functioning anxiety. Like, I wake up and I feel it.

I don't need to get reminded of everything that's going wrong in the city Yeah, so like people's moms make them download the citizen app when they move to New York for the first time See yeah, I'm a New Yorker. I'm like welcome to the party Yeah, um so it alerts you of stuff going on so it just seems like every day outside your door is like a rogue man With a machete. I didn't get this version of Caucasian like rogue man with a machete. I didn't get this version of Caucasian. Like there's a white person tendency towards like Facebook groups about

neighborhood watching and next door and this. I'm like, I don't care. You are missing the fuck out because the lore of a local neighborhood Facebook group is better than any TMZ. I did. Here's what I'll tell you. I did it once when I first moved to Chicago. I joined a neighborhood Facebook group and it was any TMZ. Here's what I'll tell you, I did it once when I first moved to Chicago, I joined a neighborhood

Facebook group and it was just a bunch of white people basically alerting me that black and brown people exist. They're like, there's a black guy on the block. I was like, yeah, I know that guy. I'm not really concerned about that. I'm more like community drama being like, the coffee shop opened and their matcha tastes like shit. And then they'll be like so and so, like just

really like drama of the community of people who know each other and trying to like low-key take each other down. Did you do an act that's only that? I don't want to hear from conservatives about crime. They decided like to use this bush and plant this type of bush and then people are like, do you know my dog is allergic to that kind of bush? Like that's the kind of shit. And like it gets heightened. yeah drama is intense. Well. I have a question for you. Yeah, you're born and raised in Brooklyn Yeah, born and raised New Yorker. Yeah, what do you I keep I keep getting served a lot of Videos about transplants. What do you what do you make? What do you make of it?

What do you think of all these people moving these new kind of I do feel like there's a new kind of person moving to New York Mmm, what do you think I think it used to be, New York used to be for freaks and weirdos and artists. Yes. And gay people and people who didn't fit in where they were from. Yes. And now I feel that there are a bunch of like,

sorority girls and fraternity presidents moving here. Not that there wasn't always like a finance firm. No, cause they saw an influencer moved here and posted a couple things and got punched in the face and got some traction. Yeah, and now they're like, I need to move to New York. Shout out to whoever you're talking about. I don't know who that is.

Iconic. So I try to, this is not my battle to fight, you know? I'm fighting a lot of inner demons. Yeah, you got your hunt shit going on. I like to be like, my cat is this close. You've got anxiety, yeah. Your cat's on the fucking brink. You can't be worried about Jessica from Oklahoma.

No, I try to be empowering. I like to be like, if you live in New York and you're surviving here, I accept you. I'm very like your New Yorker. When you ask me where I'm from and I say Brooklyn, do I think I'm better than you? Yes. Of course.

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We're a melting pot. We're a community. Like, you're part of us. We're a melting pot, we're a community. Like, that's what New York City is. I don't like when, like, I'll meet a comic who's like, yeah, I'm a Brooklyn comic, and they like, judge me, and I'm like, babe, I'm a Brooklyn comic. I'm a Brooklyn comic, I'm from Brooklyn. I'm from Brooklyn.

And, but yeah, I love accepting New Yorkers. I'm also a weird New Yorker where like, I like LA. Do I talk shit about it? Yes, but am I like, I'm not comparing LA, like they're equal, I'm more like, cute. Like I can appreciate this. If anything you're comparing LA to like Palm Springs. It's on its own little axis that it gets compared

to other things, it doesn't get compared to New York. Exactly, like I'm not competitive with it. I'm like, it's gorgeous, stunning, beautiful. Could I live there? Maybe not, because I don't have a driver's license, because I'm from New York. You have never gotten a driver's license? No. No, wait.

I did. I'd like to teach you how to drive, if you ever need help with that. Caleb, I would love that, because I did have a driver's license. My dad made me get it at 24 years old. But I ended it by, it by ramming the curb. But the lady already passed me. Get out the car. My dad's like, no.

And I'm like, dad, she passed me. And he's like, you shouldn't be out. King. No, he was like, tell her. King, he said no. He said no. He's a hey. You know some dads, you're perfect.

My dad was like, you were a flawed individual, and you should not be out in these streets. It's unsafe for people which is so valid Yeah, so I never really had the confidence and then during kovat I didn't know I had to click a button to renew it cuz I'm not a fucking woman in stem and I lost it and I So then I Tried to get my license again, I failed the test, which is disappointing.

And then I got in my head about it. No, we can get you out of there. When I got my driver's license, I was 16. I've been driving since I was like 13. But when I got my driver's license. I just envisioned you smoking a cig, picking up people. That's iconic. Yeah.

13. There's like farmers licenses like kids can drive if they live on a farm and I didn't have one but if you were driving at that age like sometimes the cops would just assume you had one and so I yeah I was driving when I was like you have to like move corn around yeah basically that's pretty yeah that's pretty much it yeah yeah you have to like you need to be able to move a vehicle from point a to point B because you're working on the seeds yeah the seeds of course the yields the yields

etc what you've reaped and sown, et cetera. Period. But when I got my driver's license, there was like a snow storm, my birthday's in January, and so my mom had taken the day off work, and she was like, I took off work, we gotta find a way to make this happen, I can't take off work again.

And so my town wasn't doing the driver's test that day because there was too much snow, but a town like an hour and a half over that I hadn't spent a lot of time in was doing them. My mom's like, we're gonna drive over there and try to get your license. So we went over there and I had to do the driver's test in a town I'm not familiar with.

So I didn't understand some of the one ways and some of the turns and stuff. I think you have to get, I don't know what it was. Maybe you had to get a 70% to pass or something. The woman literally, I think I got two points shy of it. And I was like, we finished it, and I was like, I don't know what to do. My mom took off work, I'm not gonna be able

to get my license for a year, I have a job, I need to be able to drive. Wait, you literally were like, I'm fucking adorable. I was like, I'm a single father. I was like, I need to be able to drive to my job at Golden Corral. You go, Carol. Carol, hear me out.

She passed me. She added. She added four me. She added four points. She added four points. I'm so obsessed with you. I love how you go, this is why I brought you here today. I go, what you just saw is not a reflection of my character. Yeah, I was like, this is not who I am. You know my swag?

Not my story. I was like, I need four points. And she did it. She was like, oh, OK. Have you ever been, has anyone ever gone down on you? What do you need there's lots of different ways that people can show appreciation for things How's your day going Karen? I like your hair. I love the way you look girl half up to yeah Murdering this job seems tough. You probably need help relaxing every once in a while

Have you ever tried a foot massage there's pressure points you ever been with a young man You ever been with a young man who spends his days decorating cakes at Golden Corral It takes an intricate and gentle hand You know I'm hairless What are you know I'm hairless come on what are you into I just hit puberty shits wild over here my energy is crazy like I will give you four points to get out the fuck out of this car and she did it's it's funny because when I took my driver's license test again, I don't even know what it's called, as I'm just, it's chaos,

the guy looks at me and he goes, "'You passed this before?' And I was like, I don't need the shade. Like I'm clearly fighting for my life here in this car. He's like, I am too. He's like, we're all fighting for our lives if you're behind the wheel. We got it, I said, buckle up bitch.

I just feel like they're not rooting for me. Like I want positive energy around me at all times. And get in I feel like the guys like first of all he's like She's a woman. Yeah, and that's a battle that like yeah, and then I'm trying to be out here fighting for female pilots But I can't even drive and like it's been difficult for me Because I should I don't know if I should drive. Sorry. I'm gonna cry The bravery that you're fuck I promise I don't know if I should drive sorry I'm gonna cry The bravery that you're Fuck I promise I wouldn't cry sorry Over my cat literally relapsing

I Just the bravery you're exhibiting and being a woman like thank you for for being a woman and speaking on that Thank you because women to me are like you know well like Well, like, a lot of, I do, not to talk about pilots. Obviously not to talk about pilots so much. People are always accusing me of this. I bring it up every fucking time I see you. But I feel like we need more empathy over the mic. Yeah.

Do you ever feel like the male pilots, they'll be like, we're delayed,'re delayed and then like don't communicate with you Well the way that the mail pile I have a lot of problems with flying I do it often enough to have like a lot of opinions on it I mean, yeah, that's all my opinions and for I think for you know I think some people don't care, but I'll just when a male pilot comes over first of all male pilot. Whoa You have the same male pilot, you know to have those words together Whoa, I you have the same male pilot, you know to have those words together

They go they go hey, it's your captain speaking Yeah, gonna be 45 minutes till we push back just kind of how it is the the the skies are what they are today and gotta get approval from the tower and you know, We'll we'll get you out of here when we can. Thanks for choosing Delta I'm like Jesus Christ try to throw in like a little joke and you're like not in the mood and I'm like, start a podcast or crash this fucking plane. Leave me alone. Do you know what I do love though?

I love a gay flight attendant who's doing too much. See, the stewardess, that is my entertainment. I don't think you're supposed to call them that. Oh, sorry. Sorry, the steward I. The steward I. When it's, the steward I. When it's plural steward I. Yeah, you're over. I feel like they identify stewardesses though.

Have you ever met a steward? Dude, flight attendant, flight attendant. Because I go. Twitter's about to go off on you. You don't want to get on the wrong side of flight attendant Twitter. They've got those ascots wrapped tight. They're They're up there. They're upset dude. I It's not been the same since kovat. Am I right fight attendance? I like when they're annoyed. Yeah, cuz I when they're nice I'm like you're too good to us. Like yeah, you also like you don't even tip them

Yeah, everyone including, you know the barista who didn't do anything is getting tipped But a flight attendant who's fucking like taking care of you so much Yeah, get tips well a lot of them don't act like they want to tip You want to tip flight attendants, I love when they judge my order I'm like orange juice and they're like it's 3 p.m.. And they're like ice and I'm like yeah, and they're like You fool like they don't give me enough good options. I want a fun drink. I want a lavender green tea, but they don't have it. I will say, me and I would say 98% of flight attendants I have,

we form a special connection. I really do love them. We get so close. I like to ask them inside baseball questions. Wait, you like to be their favorite. I go, I'm like this. I can't help. I want to ask them inside baseball questions. Wait, you like to be their favorite. I go, I go, I'm like this. I can't help, I want to be everyone's. Like he says something looks at you and you give him the look like that was good.

Yeah, like I'll get on and I'll be like, if there's been a delay or something, I'll be like, you guys have had better days. You go full dad joke with them? Disgusting. You have the same jokes every flight. I'm like, do you guys get to go home after this or you stand you stand over Somewhere and they're like, yeah 12 hour 12 hour stay in Chicago I love the inside baseball. I go back to Atlanta. Are you a Braves fan? I'm like There's something wrong with me. Wait, so he's going through everyone but the way he sees you he's like Caleb

Yeah, truly. You know that you have a handshake with him. One of my one of my greatest joys in life Is that I've gotten a lot of you know that when a flight attendant likes you they can write you a note on a postcard and give it to you I've gotten a lot of those have you gotten the they put all the snacks in the ziplock. Yeah that shit I've never gotten wings though. I think they only do it for kids. Oh No, oh I go no wings no wings. Yeah, I do want wings I do want them to say you're I want to be a member of the Delta family I'm a huge proponent of Delta headphones. Yeah, cuz I don't believe in Bluetooth. I think it's kind of

Be careful Just be careful cuz we had a guest recently who floated some ideas and Hey, just I'm just gonna tell you be careful. That's all I'm gonna say Don't float any ideas on this one. I got scared for you. I believe in science. Where do I believe in science? Yeah, I would just stick with that. I think I just feel like someone's gonna like be like hello Like someone's gonna come in. Yeah to it yeah to it and also I lose it all the time so I've also You know like the frat boys that had the like I don't know. I don't trust. I don't like it. Yeah, it looks lame to me It's cool. Yeah, it looking lame is totally cool. I

Just went to a really dark place because I remembered I tried I tried at a cafe recently like this week Yeah, there's a cafe recently, like this week. There's a cafe where I'm friendly with the people who work there. And I opened my Spotify to play music into my headphones while I was working. And the jam for the cafe. Do you have AirPods or headphones?

I do the AirPods Max. Okay, those I'm okay with. Okay, thank you. It's different. But the jam popped up that was like, do you wanna join, you know, so and so, I don't wanna say his name. But the barista, whose name I know,

was like, do you wanna join his jam? And so and so, I don't wanna say his name, but the barista, whose name I know, was like, do you wanna join his jam? And so I could control the music in the cafe, and I did. I like hopped on and out of the song, and I thought it'd be funny, and I'm like smiling at him, and he looks at me and goes. I like totally, I think,

cause I changed the vibe a little bit, but I thought it was like fun. What vibe did you change it to? Well, he was playing like, he was playing like, like dancey like, um, like dancey, like dancey kind of like salsa music. Okay. And I did put on, well, I put on Big Thief, but.

And I just say, I didn't, it didn't play. I thought it was going to be funny. Be like, Oh my God, what if we're listening to Big Thief now instead? Wait, should we make DJing the coffee shop a thing? Dude, I would, let's literally, me and you, let's DJ a coffee shop. Be like 9AM, someone's DJing, we gotta come through. Meet me at Prima, yeah.

Me and Hannah are gonna be on the phone, we're gonna be fucking spinning at Prima. And we're all gonna be. I'm just putting on Big Thief over and over again. I'm like, y'all are gonna listen to the Fruit Bats and enjoy it. What's your opinion on DJs? DJs? I don't- You got scared. I don't care much about them

There's a couple that I like if you're not trans you shouldn't be a DJ is my opinion if you're not a doll It's like only dolls should be days. They have an innate understanding of what music can and should be Yes, if you're not a doll get off doll DJ doll DJ. That's it. If you're not a doll And I'm right like even trans masks. I'm sorry brother. You can't be back there. Mmm. Okay, so it's specifically a doll. Yeah, specifically a doll I love that. Yeah, I'm sorry to Emmett and Liam, but you guys need to hop off Names are being thrown around That's just any trans guy No, I'm like, sorry brother, I love you to death I respect you more than you'll ever know you need to let the dolls back there

It's just it's how it is I just envisioned us DJing a coffee shop while snorting catnip and like it was lit I do think we should I had a vision. I think actually DJing a Coffee shop would be a really fun something for us. We could do something really fun with that. Yeah, we're touring It's promo for something. It's like how Trixie does solid pink disco. We do a coffee shop version where I'm just playing acoustic covers. People are just in the bathroom shitting themselves. I do prefer that. I would prefer that over a dance party or a rave. I'm like, obviously

just come to the coffee shop, we'll have some lattes together. Like welcome to your 30s. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Alma is on a mission to simplify access to high quality affordable mental health care. Alma has built a community of over 20,000 diverse therapists. Therapists on the platform offer both in-person and virtual care. While online tools and resources can be a useful starting point or supplement, human relationships are an irreplaceable part of mental health care.

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I have regret about it. Well, baristas, it's an art. Yeah. Like you have to have actual skill. It's a real skill and I have regret about never being a barista. It was never one of my survival jobs. I never trusted myself to be a barista.

I have very thick fingers. Yeah. And I feel like I would fuck up. And it's one thing when people are drunk and you're fucking up people's orders at a bartender, they don't know. This is setting up people's day for success or failure. And that's too much to have on my shoulders.

There's two occupations I have never dabbled in because I respect them too much. One is musicians, one is baristas. I never touched it. I stayed out of there. I was a good host. Yeah, I know you were. Like, it came in and I was warm. there. I was a good host. Yeah, I know you were. Like, it came in and I was warm.

I know you were. And then I was doing some side deals. I was like, you guys are three, but I could get you on a two top. Whoa. You sit at the corner. Whoa. Like, I was doing some illegal shit.

You were brokering deals. Yeah, I was brokering to have 16. You were making shit happen. A guy gave me a 20 and I was like, oh, this is not going towards my taxes. Dude, in my hometown there was only an Applebee's. Wait, I'm obsessed with our upbringing being so different, but in this moment we're so connected.

Yeah, now we're the same. Yeah. But in many ways we were different. Yeah. I did not grow up in Brooklyn. Yeah. Not close. But now you're in Brooklyn, I'm out of Brooklyn.

Yeah, now you live in Missouri, don't you? Don't you live in Missouri? Yeah. Are you in a small town in Missouri? You live in a farming community in Missouri, don't you? Do you know years ago you in a small town of Missouri you have an affirming community in Missouri years ago you almost opened for me no I did not no wait listen I'm talking years ago you DM me what and you were like can I come through to like like drop in to do a spot oh yes when you played the Truman I was trying to do time because you were in Kansas City. And then it never happened. I know that was sick.

That was sick. I do that. You weren't open. You're dropping by. I do that. No, no, no. But yeah, I would love to open for you. That's your thing?

I just know when people are in Kansas City I'll message them sometimes and be like, hey, can I come do time? No, I was like so excited. I know. I'm sorry. I do that. That's really fucked up of me. Wait, that's so funny though that that's like your thing.

It's more like you're like, hey, I'm here. Yeah. And I could. It's more that I really I think often what I'm here, and I could. It's more that I really, I think often what I'm doing is- You get excited. I get excited. I want, when I send the message, I want to do time, and then the time comes around and I've either left town

or I don't wanna do a show. And so I'm like, oh, I can't bother them by just coming and being a fan now. That's the problem. Michelle Obama- Say it. To quote her. Say it.

Is like, this is not the quote. I butcher every quote. But she basically was like, learn how to say no. And if it's not a hell yes, say no. Yeah. And I wasn't a hell yes to doing my show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I try to be like, if I don't wanna do it tonight, don't say yes.

But I've never wanted to do anything. I never wanted to do anything. We would never do anything if we lived. I never wanna do anything. You have to force yourself. I hate doing everything. I hate doing everything. I hate seeing my favorite people in the world Yeah, I hate going to like I any everything is an inconvenience for sure and I do it all I do all of it I literally I wanted to cancel a dinner yesterday. I was going to see a friend

I haven't seen a long time at a restaurant. I love where I know the food is incredible Yeah, and I know like this the staff at the restaurant I was like it's gonna be a great night. Everything was set up. Wanted to cancel. Yeah. Almost canceled on my way to the thing. Because you know what? The cancellation high is better than any high you would have, you get from going. And I'll never be let down. Here's the thing. I can be let down by a plan. I've been let down by plenty of plans. I've never been let down by getting high on my couch ever well cuz every horrible thing that's ever happened in my life has been when I went outside yes so statistically why would I go outside again yeah yeah and that's just science yeah and yet I need to go outside the only time I go outside is to fart yeah you fart outside and inside and inside I do inside too but like farting outside There's a freedom There is a freedom to farting outside and especially as a woman. We are privileged that like

You can get away with so much. I'm gonna cry again The way you talk about girlhood is so beautiful no like I represent all women I am woman. I am woman, hear me roar. This is my fight song. You're gonna hear me roar. Oh, I did Katy Perry. Fuck, I did, this is my fight song. Who is now very smart and successful.

Who? Rachel Platton? Yeah. What's happening, what do you mean? Wait, have you, you're not up on your Rachel, you're not up on your white girl Rachel fight song tune? You didn't know her name, I don't think. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name.

I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. I don't know her last name. aren't successful. Who? Rachel Platton? Yeah. What's happening, what do you mean? Wait, have you, you're not up on your Rachel, you're not up on your white girl Rachel fights aren't you? You didn't know her name I don't think is it.

I don't know her last name but I know she's up to shit because I support women. What's she up to? I don't. She has chance. I'm looking it up. I don't support women, has that been a misstep? He's like women don't come up on my feed.

Women on Google. My computer doesn't register women. Right. Yeah. A cis white woman? No, delete. Is she doing philanthropy? No, she has like, she's like a rocket scientist now.

So, hey you made this up. Hey, it's obviously all love, you made that up. What if someone's like, that's a different Rachel. And I send you my support. What is she doing? Hey, it's nothing personal. You made that up. I feel like... I googled Rocket Science Rachel Platten and a band called

Rocket Science covered one of her songs and that's all that's coming up. Oh, Hannah. Someone needs to defend me, okay? Oh, Hannah. Look at her LinkedIn. Bring up her LinkedIn. Her LinkedIn? That was millennial shit.

That was so embarrassing. Her LinkedIn? Hannah Burner. Not her LinkedIn. Not her being covered by a band called Rocket Science and you thought she worked at NASA. Hannah Burner. Okay, I think he's not even

Googling. He's trying to help you honey, there's nothing on the internet that can help. You just made something up completely and we're all having to live in it. She just has a new album. If you talk bad about women one more time. I don't like women. I thought I'd been so clear about that. Everyone likes Rachel Platten though. I like Rachel Platten.

Cause she had like a one hit wonder. One hit wonder is fun. She's represented by Red Light Management. Is it not Rachel Platten? You're thinking of someone else. Wait, no, I'm thinking of someone else. I am Rachel Platten. She's in the studio. She's gorgeous, by the way.

She looks stunning. Looks like, looks. She's gorgeous. It's giving Blake Lively cousin. Yeah. Controversial take. They could totally be cousins. Controversial take.

No, I wanna thank you for saying that. Okay, it's not Rachel Platten that I'm thinking of. Who are you thinking of? Can you Google? Woman successful? Women who did something once. Woman astronaut career change. See what that brings up.

Female pilot, pop star. Yeah, Google, anyway, we do the rest of the pod, just me asking him to Google someone was I think I was anti woman recently What happened? I did something or I thought something I did this pod with you. They did this pod No, I saw a video that really got under my skin. I wonder how you'll feel about it It was a video. I don't talk about this already on the pod chance. I don't remember. I love it. That's his job kind of It's like I already say this, you know, we do so many of these. I'm like fucking who knows what I've said Yeah, but I I saw this tik saw this TikTok that was like seven girls

in a kitchen, and it was cute. I liked, it was like seven girls in a kitchen, like dancing and singing along to a song, and they were clearly a little drunk, and it was like late at night. And it was like, how would you ever even explain this to a boy? And I was like, that's one of the stupidest things

I've ever seen. Like, I'm so, I love women, but I'm like, sometimes we've lost the plot, like I think boys have listened to a song before. Like, can we get a little bit of a grip? Also, I wanna know the actual tea, like, who's mad at who? Like, let's be honest. Who didn't wanna do that TikTok?

And you're like, we're doing this TikTok to show that we are happy, we're having so much fun, we don't need men. It's like, I just feel like there's so many beautiful things about female friendship, and one of them is not that you uniquely Understand listening to a song and I'm a particular girl, you know when your friends would break out in song. I Didn't fuck with that. Oh That's so beautiful. You don't like that

Cuz I'm I'm a butch straight. You're a butch straight girl. Like I I didn't like it. I didn't Have you ever trafficked and picked me behaviors? Be honest. Yes. Really? Well, also I'm a girl who likes sports like I'm that girl that knows I'm like in this moment if I say like anything That I know about this sport. Yeah. Oh, he just had a double-double Yeah, a guy will get an erection. Yeah, they're very easy Yeah, and in your 20s, I think let's be honest. I didn't have tiktok I didn't know what a pick me was in your 20s as Millennials. We all were pick me's we were raised by Disney movies

Yeah, it was literally you wake up and I go who's my crush and how do I find him? Yeah, how do I trick him? Yeah, and then in my 30s, I woke up one morning. I said we've been doing this all wrong And then in my 30s, I woke up one morning. I said we've been doing this all wrong. Yeah Backwards yeah, this is fucked up and I'm I've my whole life has changed, but I also I'm married and that is the ultimate pick-me-behavior. I got picked. That's really yeah, that's good. Now. I'm embarrassed by it Yeah, no, it's disgusting. It's horrible. I sucked up to a guy so much that he was like I want to spend eternity eternity plots next to each other burial vibes Literally, yeah, so but no pick me shit

I had a whole bit about like yes stuff that you have done and pretended to like because of a man Yeah, you know girls are like anal You think anal is pick me behavior? I? Don't want to say something homophobic is picnic behavior I don't want to say something homophobic no I don't think you'll be homophobic I've I've said a lot of homophobic stuff you go that's the least before you got on you were very much like saying some very off-color stuff about gay people so I don't think this is where it's gonna be Oh my god, um, I tried anal once the first time how to go in a shower Yikes She talked about making the wrong decisions in life. Yeah, you shouldn't have sex in a shower period

Yeah, somehow it gets drier. Yeah as you go Yeah, and the one thing you need to have with anal is a little bit of water is not lubricant No, you guys have to understand this water. Water's not lubricant. No. You guys have to understand this. Water's not lubricant. So I was just like, ow, this is hurting me. Oh, yeah, sorry. But I mean, I didn't commit.

Like, it was like, it didn't even have a chance. Yeah. And I said, no, thank you. Yeah. And then I was triggered. Yeah. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's OK.

That can be so tough. It's OK. But I want people to have fun. Ain't no such an ordeal. Sex is really a production in general. Sex is like, obviously it's fun and I have to do it a couple times a week or else I'll die. But it's such a production. I just can't believe how much goes into it. As an eater, it doesn like work with my lifestyle. Yeah, like I hate when you start dating someone and you have to like

Think twice about what you're about to eat because of what you're about to do. Yeah, and I feel like that's it's controlling it It's no like it's gaslighting. Yeah, I don't like it Say that say that by the way this tacos gaslighting me and and yeah, I also think that People normalize that sex is just like everyone's coming all the time Yeah, and it's just not like that especially you know for women. Thank you for women. I'm gonna cry again The way you stand up for women is so beautiful. It almost makes me like women. The way you talk about women almost makes me go like,

wait a minute. Wait. They need help. These people deserve respect potentially. They need help. Yeah. I'm like, I'm actually low key gonna respect women soon, I think. I know. But yeah, right now I feel like there's a lot of just like sex on TV that just looks so fucking hot and then when you don't have the experience, you feel bad. So I think we have to have messier, I mean my whole, my first stand up special, I had a whole just thing about like normalizing queefing. We have zero queef representation.

When it happens, you feel guilty. I don't know what that is. It's like I know the pussy makes a noise but I don't know why it's happening or what we should feel about it. Wait, so I'm like a queef. I'm not gonna, this is so like classic gay guy but this is making me sick.

Oh my God! Sorry, it's like it's already kind of hot in here. And it's like actually I'm getting a little nauseous. Wait, you just went. Well it's just like why would it, oh. Sorry, go ahead. No, but this is the thing. It's kind of hot in here. And it's like, actually, I'm getting a little nauseous. Well, it's just like, why would it? Oh, I'm sorry. No, but this is the thing. It's kind of hot in here.

It happens, right? And then the girl feels bad. And I'm trying to, because I'm a proponent for women, I'm saying, he queefed you. She feels bad that the pussy makes noise? Yeah, he queefed you. And I know that, because I've never queefed alone. And he goes, you queefed. And then you're like, I'm sorry. What's wrong with that?

He started like stuffing you with air what I'm sorry. He gets sorry the guy you made a noise But like he made a noise on you the guy gets mad that your pussy made a noise Well, it's like embarrassing like when you're the girl in sex if God forbid you fart or you you know make a weird sound it's like It's on you, but men could be like disgusting and it's like hot on with straight people. No wait this it's a problem I don't understand why it would be a problem for the body to make a noise when you're fucking it's no because it's I guess It's normalized for girls to just be like Blow up dolls. Yeah.

Which blow up dolls would queef. But don't those make noise? That would queef. I would think they would squeak a little. But yeah, I'm trying to normalize girls being like you queefed. I didn't queef, you queefed, motherfucker. Yeah, okay.

But honestly, it's a struggle in the streets. I don't like this. No. I don't like this. So butt holes don't queef? I don't know if but holes queef I mean they make noise of course when things are happening, but I'm like I don't know if we have terminology for it Yeah, I think it's it's a particular thing with a vagina that I'm not gonna get into

I just don't feel like this is the right time or place. It's not I'm never the person to talk about pussy with I just don't it's like obviously I've tried it and it wasn't you know It wasn't my thing. I've said that before so you're not gold star No, no, I've done pussy here and there and I would get less respect in the community for not being gold star My community doesn't respect me It was never gonna be My community doesn't respect me My community is not respect me gay men. I have almost no hold over gay men I could mobilize lesbians to a border if I needed

Like I could get them armed at the border if I needed to game in game in would barely hold the door open Lesbians love you lesbians.. Lesbians, I could move certain segments of the queer community. There are hundreds of trans women who would go to war for me. Gay men would, I think if I was on fire in front of a gay man, to get him to spit on me would be a challenge.

I just don't move gay men in that way. I move straight men more than I move gay men. Interesting. I don't know what it is. Interesting. It's funny, because I'm trying to be kind of like the Sheryl Crow of lesbians. Thank you.

Missouri, by the way. Shout out. I'm a Missourian. Iconic. Sheryl Crow, a famous Missourian. Shout out, Sheryl, we love you. I just, I connect, I think lesbians, to speak for women.

And love me the best. So I was gonna do an under-track while you were talking, but I actually ended up just cutting you off. Sorry. I was trying to harmonize, but in the second I started you were like, This is a one person kind of... No! Okay. I love how I just said I don't like singing too, and I jumped the fuck in. Cause it's fun!

But I feel bad that I didn't mean to disrupt your thought. What were you saying? Cheryl Crowe. You wanted to do the Cheryl Crowe? Don't ever be upset about disrupting me. That is called conversation. Okay, thank you. And don't put that on you. Leave that in. What did we just do? You're like gesturing to me like you're fucking Polly Walnuts.

Like, don't ever fucking be mean. Don't ever fucking feel bad about interrupting me. You're perfect. It's conversation. If I don't interrupt you, it means I wasn't listening. I don't interrupt you it means I wasn't listening I don't respect you Crow of lesbians I feel like lesbians Have done everything to like break down barriers for straight women because they don't care what men think yeah So like anything from stand-up comedy politics like it's the lesbians that lead the way

And then the straight girls are like oh shit. Maybe we could do this too. Yeah, so I am I fucking love lesbians Thank you for your service, and I feel like I I feel like oh I was a game man in a past life. Did you know that you think so that's I was told I was a dandy in a past life By who um a Salem witch And you could bring that up with her cuz that's I just am wondering you went to Salem to meet with a witch And she informs you that in a past life you were quote a dandy she goes Well, she goes you've been a man in your past life, and I said no Well she goes, you've been a man in your past life, and I said no

No, please please and then I said what kind of man and she goes a flaming gay dandy Okay, and I was like All right, I don't know she I'd have to meet her, but I don't know if she should be talking like that With an arrow yeah with an air of There's an era of dandyism in the Vatican Conclave you'll die. I love it. I know I will you need to do like a YouTube of you doing commentary I would love to watch that yeah, while you're watching conclave. Do you know my mom just dropped on me last week at lunch she was like she was like my mum will do this shit we were at lunch in Kansas City last week and she goes she goes well you know I I saw a psychic when I was pregnant with you and I go no

I don't what are you talking about you like I wasn't there I go no you've never told me that she was yeah I saw a psychic they told me you were gonna have eyes they said you were gonna have so much wisdom in your eyes that it would scare me and it did when you were born I looked in your eyes and I felt scared I said hey it's two o'clock it's two o'clock in the afternoon what are you talking about what is going on you ever see those videos of the mom being like my kid knows things and the kid would be like I died in a burning building

That's the shit my mom's accusing me of She's like she's like yeah, she told me you'd have wisdom in your eyes that would scare you go scared to look into in World War Two I took a bullet. Yeah, like it's 2 p.m. Yeah Hey, it's lunch. She really will she really will in the middle moms have such a Moms have such a knack I feel for just dropping one of the most devastating things you've ever heard You know you'll just like you'll truly just be at like a cookout like sitting by the pool And your mom will just be like yeah I mean, I just wonder what I would have been capable of if anyone had ever believed in me anyway

Anybody want another margarita? It's like Jesus, bitch. What the hell? Good lord. Don't you feel? They'll just drop the most harrowing shit ever. It's like when you realize that your mom is just a girl. Yeah, oh god, the girlhood stuff.

If you say the G word, I'll fucking lose it. Well, it's just some of that stuff where it's like people, the trends online that are like, that are like, that are like, please, please don't ask me to do something, I'm just a girl. By the way, you're 37. And people get mad when I use that as the number, but it's like, that's really, by the time you should probably, people should be able to ask you to do stuff. And I'm not there yet. You're not there? That's not you.

I'm just a girl. Yeah. I'm just a just a girl but like being a girl is a mindset. Yeah, what if what if I slowly got red-pilled on this podcast? What if like over the next like 80 episodes it just like slowly became obvious that I was getting red-pilled That'd be hilarious I mean that would be so funny to switch up on people in that way. That is well because when you have that kind of choke hold over the lesbian community you can turn them like that. Yeah it is so men's rights people are so funny to me because their thing is always like nobody

cares the boys commit. It's like stop doing it. No I don't know what to tell you. Girls aren't doing it. Maybe boys should quit. I don't what am I supposed to do. I don't know what to tell you. Stop playing video games and go be part of something. I don't know what to tell you girls aren't doing it. Maybe boys should quit. I don't what am I supposed to do? I don't know what to tell you stop playing video games and go be part of something. I Don't know what we're talking about you guys working construction stop Go be an accountant. I don't know what to tell. What do you want me to do? No, it's just like they've never given us empathy and now like they want empathy, but we're not even involved in it Yeah, like they did it all on their own also.. I'm a boy and I thought it was pretty sick I didn't feel that abused by it. I don't know these like I just think it's like kind of pathetic these guys that are like No one cares about the plight of boys. I'm like, yeah, I did think it's probably cuz girls have it worse

Does that make any sense? Are you turning into? I Don't want to sound like a woke asshole. Yeah, but women low-key have it hard I don't want to sound like a woke asshole, but women low-key have it hard. No, like have you ever been fingered on the side of your leg? Right! Thank you. What do you mean? What do you mean? Someone was fingering your inner thigh?

That's just a Tuesday! I beg your pardon? I beg your pardon? This is why I'm jealous of lesbians right there They are they are like I asked my friend who's lesbian like how do you know when the sex is done? Yeah? She's like you ask yeah nice. Okay, like the the Sun rises yeah fuck We're like with it first of all is like what's it like to communicate during sex that's fucking crazy yeah but with dudes it's just when he's done yeah he's done he's like twitching or whatever is it yeah get

that nut nice get that nut hell yeah but yeah with lesbians it's like you know your body you know it feels good you you you know what you're working with yeah with the men they have to be like, you know what you're working with. With the men, they have to be taught. You know what I always want to ask lesbian couples? Yeah. I like his body language has changed. Who is a girl and who is a guy? Oh.

Do you know Emma Wilman? I know. You love Emma Wilman. I know Emma. She goes, I'm the man one. Yeah. It's my Emma impression. Yeah, that was a good Emma, by the way. It's actually my only impression that I can do.

That was a really good Emma. Yeah, that was a really good Emma. I didn't realize that lesbians have tops and bottoms. They totally do. They do. They totally do. They do. And then they have Switch.

Or, you know, but it's. Verse? A lot of times they call themselves Switch, but it's like, it's a lot of bottoming. Like Nintendo? Yeah, like exactly like a Nintendo. Yeah. And they play Nintendo while they do it.

And then they have Wii. And then they have Wii. They have Switch and Wii. Say it. You're safe. Are you top or bottom? Me? I'm a dedicated team player.

I like to get the job done. People say, are you a top or a bottom? I say, I thrive in a fast paced environment. I deal with adversity. I love a challenge. I love a challenge, I deal with what comes my way. My issue is I work too hard. I want everyone to come if that's something that we're capable of and interested in,

I want everyone to come. Why do the gay guys tell me that no gay. That being said, I'm not bottoming. No, well. I'm not, I'm not. Wait, wait, wait, why do gay guys tell me that everyone's a bottom, but they say they're not? Well, because there's shame. Wait, I've never met a real top before before well. I wouldn't say I'm a tie just don't I'm not that inch

I'm not I don't like I would I is saying your top like kind of like okay No, I just am not that interested in that I don't it's not like penetration to me is such a Neanderthal not really, but it's the reason that there's shame around being a bottom is because People don't like to be associated with femininity. And so they're forced to play the role of a woman. And when a man has to feel like a woman. You're such a feminist. I mean, I think that's just pretty known.

Like, I think that's, it's like obvious. It's like, yeah, you feel shame because you feel like you're being dominated by a man, which is something we have historically done to women and shamed them for. Yes, and like, them for. Yes. Bottom shame is insane. And you're getting chosen.

You're the weaker one. Bottom shame is insane. It's like everyone should just be coming and having fun. Oh, 100%. We're going to have to mute every single word that's been said for the last 10 minutes. Wait, why have we brought this out of each other? I'm curious about it. I like the way your brain works.

I like the way your brain works.. I like the way your brain works. I Like the way your brain works. I do like that was actually the nicest thing Anyone's ever said to me. Do you know I just realized we're gonna make out first of all For what start there? Loki flirting with Guys who aren't into me that's kind of my tape. Yeah me you and your husband could have some incredible memories Let me get over there. You and I would be an incredible flight attendant duo. I was thinking that earlier and forgot it,

but you and I running a fucking plane, like the Navy, slinging bits. I'm going. Yeah, truly. You're throwing me Biscoff cookies, I'm handing it off to 1A. Yeah, we're like. I got headphones, like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pilot needs to go to the bathroom, I pull the cart and walk away. But also we have people we don't like in the crowd where I'll be like not again not yeah I go don't give him the biscotti yeah no biscotti get out of here you can't have any yeah yeah yeah you know I love that yeah be fun because we work hard we do work hard and we're focused but we also have fun we're focused and driven but ultimately we're silly yes you can't take life too seriously but we also do have dreams and goals and welcome to Delta Airlines in

many ways that this is our pre-flight announcement you guys have to work hard you have to have goals you can't take things too seriously you have to be silly there are exits to your left and your right I was like don't be mad when the flights delayed. Yeah. Like I'm just hold my hand. Low key we're dragging ass today guys. We had a big night out last night. Also is it cold in here?

Like I'm cold. Are you cold? Okay. Show of hands who's cold. Also, Caleb didn't just put on Think Thief. Also, yeah, low key. Does anyone have playlist requests? They are always playing the most psychotic music. when you fly a lot you start to know the words

Yeah, and you go through it's like stages of grief at first you're angry about it. Yeah, then you accept it Yeah, then you're like, well, okay, this is my bop. This is my bop. Well, it'll be something It's not even necessarily bad music. It was be something so unexpected It scratches your brain in the worst way at 7 a.m. The lights are on full blast. You're getting on a flight They're gonna keep the windows closed so you can sleep. But before that, they're just playing, I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately.

And it's so loud. And it's too positive, yeah. It's too positive. Well, they're trying to keep people from fighting and realizing how bad the circumstances are. They're putting you in prison for a while. I recently had an experience of getting on a flight and the lady was blackout

8 a.m. And recognized me well, and she looks up and she goes I Know you and I was like this. I'm getting into a shark tank right now This is bad, and it was like an hour and a half flight and at first like she was like poking me And you know pushing me, but like being funny. Yeah, and and then I realized halfway and I go this bitch is actually kind of fun Yeah, she's actually okay And then I you know like you sit next to someone at the bar and I first like oh no And then you're like wait. I want the tea yeah

So she was like showing me her kitchen renovation, and I'm I'm thinking renovating my kitchen So I was like wait. That's that is fucking fire. So I had a whole flight. She's blackout I'm sober, but like at the end of the day anyone could get along if you believe in love that's community I had a guy one of the funniest things that's happened to me recently. I was sitting Next to this stranger and he was ignoring me and I was ignoring him which is I mean I like that Yeah, a girl walks past and she goes don't want to bother you Just want to say I'm a huge fan have a great flight keeps walking like a nice one beautiful And the the guy it was like an older straight guy next to me goes

I just watch him say you're me and he's him he goes What are you Your worst fucking night, what are you sent me and I truly laughed so hard That was really really cracked me up. He didn't even know he couldn't even. What are you? What are you say now? What you did? Yeah, what'd you do to deserve that? What's been done? Why'd she say that? Who is this? What happened? Who is she to you? How? Who are you to me? What's going on? Who am I to myself? Why? What do I mean? What is life? What's my purpose here? What planet are we on? What is happening?

Hannah what's so true to you? You have to have one. Come on Walk in Walk in for once. Wait now. I'm so nervous. What is so true to you? I'm a fan of the pod and this is this is happening. You can manifest anything. You can manifest anything. What's so true to me? I feel like you will connect with this come on I feel like you will connect with this come on Instead of working on all these things like oh you rub your temple a certain way and your jawline I'll get snatched and this cream web. Yeah Let's normalize working on our personalities by the way. Yeah

Whatever happened to being like what a conversationalist yeah Whatever happened to you being like tonight. I'm staying home and doing some self-care but I think you have some good stories I could tell at a party yeah getting some tags it's very clear to me at a lot of social situations that a lot of people are not feeling the pressure I feel which is that if it gets quiet it's my responsibility to fix it no I'm exhausted after a party because if I'm invited I come to surf yeah okay I'm gonna commit I'm giving my all my heart my soul to performing at because if I'm invited, I come to surf. Yeah. OK, I'm going to commit. I'm giving my all, my heart, my soul to performing at this party.

If I showed up, I showed up. I showed up. Yeah. But do you ever feel, though, at a group dinner, you don't know? You're like, do you guys want me to take this away? Yeah. Do you want me to take the mic? And I'll handle it, and you guys can sit back?

Or do you want me to sit back while other people speak? Yeah. I just need to know the vibes. I'll know what you guys have prepared. I'll host. I'll perform. I'll do whatever you need me to do I'll host I'll perform I'll need whatever you I'll do whatever you need me to do yes I'll be I'll be the crowd in that vein also let's bring back

aging normally let's let your let's let yourself age normally well there's a trend now where people are trying to call out actresses who are doing these like old movies like in the 1800s but they have like lip filler and cheek filler yeah and it's like whatever happened to you know caring about the role whatever happened to an expression during a scene? Yeah, I will say, everyone do whatever you wanna do. I do not like the way everyone looks on camera now. Everyone looks so unbelievably stiff.

The faces are fake, the hairlines are fucking pulled back. It's like, what happened to people who look appropriate and human? What happened to people who look their age? I don't understand. Well some people feel like there might be a twist, cause everyone's morphing into the same like, looking lizard, that it might be like, chic as fuck to have your wrinkles out.

Yeah. I also, as someone who hasn't had work done, but will probably get a facelift when I'm 40 it's like I like showing I've seen some shit. Yeah. Like I like when you're in your 20s you don't get respect. I want to walk into a room and people to look at me and be like oh she's experienced things, she's wise, she survived things. See it on my face. I've survived to be here. Yeah. I've stuck around.

As a woman. Thank you. Thank you. Because I'm just a girl. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. But like, it's not beautiful to have a face that moves and to look different. I also just don't understand the obsession with like, you don't look younger. You just look weird. You look different. You look different different but not younger yeah and I

don't especially especially as actors it really pisses me off the actors are getting so much work done that their face is like made of clay at this point I'm like what is do you give a fuck about this profession then I'm like we're supposed to be like communicating emotion roles of real people yeah and it's hard when you're an AI version of yourself. Yeah. I also, this could be completely false and made up because I just saw it on TikTok, but people are saying if moms are getting too much Botox that the kids aren't learning proper reactions and expressions. That's really funny. And that they're raising psychopaths. That's really

funny. They don't know what empathy is. That's really funny. And they don't know what anger is or sadness, so they don't know how to react to situations. This could be all made up, but I thought it was hilarious. That's really funny. So it's like, mom is very happy right now. Kids don't know how to express joy because mommy got too much work. Yeah.

That's really fucking funny. Because mommy been under the needle. Yeah, mommy's gone under the knife too many times. And I know that there's people that are like, look, if it makes me feel better about myself, let me do it. And I'm a proponent of that. However, just like everything in the beauty industry, you think something's going to solve your problems. It doesn't. And then it's like, at what end? Well, let me ask you this. If it makes you happy, why the hell are you so sad? I can't miss you, my peace Why the hell are you so sad?

Mike, fucking Mike drop Cheryl's real as fuck Cheryl's real as fuck and a badass and she pulls off a vest like no other straight woman can I also would argue that some of these girls are going to work on Do they need a gay on their team? An honest gay? Yeah, and those are hard to come by And those are so hard to come by An and those are hard to come by. And those are so hard to come by.

An honest gay is hard to come by. An honest gay who's gonna read you for filth and be like, you look insane. Well, gay people are, gay guys specifically, are born with honesty in their DNA, and then they are conditioned to value power more than honesty, so then if you get a beautiful woman who's powerful around you, that's kind of like a siren to the rocks for us. So then if you get a beautiful woman who's powerful around you

That's kind of like a siren to the rocks for us And then then so we stop being honest and start being flattering and then they're not as good I exist. Yeah real why and so then there's your housewives and then you think there's like Bank of America And obviously BP oil like many things Many things are within that and it's culture. It's systemic It's systemic with Delta Airlines and in in in Cisco and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, and it's all plays a role Yeah, and of course Walmart. Yep Walmart is behind every course Walmart Walmart's involved. They sell walls. That's a really good. So true I want to thank you for bringing that today. Thank you. I was worried it was too deep, but I feel like No, no, we're allowed to do whatever we want on here. Let's go get Botox now. Guess what? I have a segment for you

Wait you with the papers intimidating as fuck. Mm-hmm. You said you might want to be doing a kitchen renovation We might be able to help you out a little bit with the budget because I'm gonna read you 15 statements You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I just said was true or false And if you get ten or more correct Hannah, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars Wait, so people have gotten too chatty during it. I could tell you're like we're doing concise Almost every single guest will fail will fail at concision every single guest. I'll be like I'll be like the sky is blue and they'll be like I've been outside. Of course, I'm from Ohio. So these answers this isn't subjective. This is fact. It's true or false Okay, that's all okay. I say so true

You just that's really funny what people have suggested that you say just true or false And if you want to say so true or so false, hey you go nuts I have too many questions already. Yeah, no, it's good that you're getting it out before we usually do this in the middle Okay, Superman's real name is Kevin Kent Superman's real name is Kevin Kent It's Clark Kent the Statue of Liberty has seven points on her crown True the largest indoor waterpark in the world is in Texas I don't know anything about anything. I don't care

That won't work false it's in Germany you're doing good's 50-50. Under Armour was founded in 2003. True. False, 1996. Sudan has more pyramids than any other country. False. True. Venus and Serena Williams were born in Michigan. True.

True, you're a big tennis fan. Cats have fewer toes on their back paws. Oh no, but it's gonna be so pissed if it gets wrong. It depends on the cat, because some cats have like six hands, but false. It's true. St. Patrick was born in Ireland. False. False.

John Cusack graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Joan, sorry, Joan, Joan, Joan. Yes, true. True, because I'm a badger. Pickleball was invented in Romania. Oh my god. This is like, I only have so much information I can keep in my head, like I reject it. True. False. Drake and Josh ran for eight seasons. Oh my god, wait, as a millennial I need to know this. True. False. Four. Turkeys can blush. for eight seasons. Oh my god, wait, as a millennial, I need to know this.

True? False. Four. Turkeys can blush. I felt like eight. Turkeys can blush? Can blush. False.

True. The. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This is straight. Wait, this is homophobic. No, it's not, because you're not gay. OK. There is a f- No, but making us on this pod as an ally answer these straight male questions with like, who wants to fight, tiger or bear? Like, that's what it's giving. Continue.

You're right. You're right. You're right. Sorry, Janjee, you got got. You got got. There is a fungus that can turn ants into mindless zombies. True. that is true I watched the last of us Franklin Delano Roosevelt had a pet hyena. I

Hope it's true false Teddy Roosevelt did oh that's have six limbs True false for how'd she do 14 13 14 they have to get a hobby they need to get a life. Sorry. I've been on and a husband in a kitchen They did a cat husband in a kitchen and one of those things needs to be addicted to something I'm not gonna prescribe which and that's full circle, baby. You know, we love you. Thank you so much for doing this I love you so much Congrats on everything and I'm obsessed with you. Thanks buddy You want to tell people where they can find you? Oh, yeah go to I'm obsessed with you. Thanks buddy. You want to tell people where they can find you? Oh, yeah go to

Follow me on Hannah burner and you'll enjoy giggly squad if you enjoy giggling It was what and y'all have a big blur and we have a new book I'm gonna go and I'm announcing my tour dates in the fall Hannah burn calm I'll be coming to city near you you're announcing them in the fall or you're going I'm gonna it'll be announced by now Okay, and watch my Netflix special if you haven't we ride at dawn. Hell. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, dude That was a head gum podcast Hey, I'm Jake Johnson and I host the head gum podcast. We're here to help with my partner Gareth Reynolds We're here to help is a call and advice show think car talk from back in the day We're determined to help fix life's dumbest problems

We also have guest helpers join us from the entire cast of new girl to Michael Cera Andy Samberg Jimmy Kimmel dumbest problems. podcast, pocket cast, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday, and bonus episodes drop on Wednesdays. Hi, I'm Rachel Billson. And I'm Olivia Allen. And we host the podcast. Broad Ideas. Yes, that's now on Headgum. On our show, we chat with people like Brittany Snow, Lucy

Hale, Kristen Bell, Margaret Cho, Jake Johnson, and so much more. And we talk about all the things you would talk about with your best friend. Like your periods. And mental illness. And the food you ate for lunch. Most importantly.

Listen to Broad Ideas on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.