So True with Caleb Hearon - Hayden Johnson Loves a Revolution

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Hayden Johnson! Hayden and Caleb talk humble back yard comedy shows, Family Guy, taking up arms, the athletic prowess of a certain pop star, Madden, and more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Hayden! @_hayden_johnson Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Try Domino's Parmesan Stuffed Crust Pizza today at https://dominos.com Shop now at https://Fabletics.com/sotrue to get seventy to eighty percent off everything when you sign up as a new VIP Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE. Find exactly what you’re booking for at Booking.com. Book today on the site or in the app. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/SOTRUE So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wave. All arachnids have eight legs. True. It is true. Carly Ray Jepson played soccer in college. Lisa Kudrow is in the same camp. There's a big camp of these people, I feel, but Lori Metcalf is also one of them where it's like,

there's many years of just playing like a pretty funny character on TV, and there's no real, like, at least to my knowledge, there's no real, like, lauding or accomplishments, or like there's no mother allegations, there's no, like, icon status. And then seemingly kind of overnight, but also over the span of 30 years, it's like, you're a legend, you're an icon, your mother. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I really, I, I'm not interested in friends at all.

Yeah. But the comeback is maybe the greatest TV show that's ever existed. Lisa Kudrow has been amazing for so long, and now I feel like she's getting this, like, icon status. I'm like, maybe it's always been there, but I just feel like, I don't know, I'm noticing things. Were you a friend's person? I was not a friend's person. Okay, I think that's, because I think people did think she was an icon, but I just like,

don't. I never watched that. See, I thought that they thought that she was more of like a circus clown. They, she did recently say that they were very mean to her, but I think people liked her, like the audience. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is I think there's this like thing of like, it goes beyond being liked into like, I mean, I don't want to say like being responsible. But it's like like,

Lori Metcalf on Roseanne was like very popular. She was like a high paid like seriously like very, I think audiences loved her. But I don't know that the industry was going, you're a legend, we bow down to you. And they should have been the whole time because she has been amazing. But now she's like,

yeah, she's one of those girls. Yeah. It probably goes from like, you're a character to like you. Yeah. Like you're known for your character. Yeah. You're known for who is Lisa Cucho, Phoebe?

Phoebe? You're Phoebe? Yeah. And now it's like that's Lisa Kudra. And now you're Lisa, you go from Jackie to Lori. While this is what Taylor Ortega and I were just referring to us, stepping from your big red clown shoes into your lubotons. Wow. And I love Taylor. That's beautiful. I love Taylor.

Well, she just stepped into her lubitons with big mistakes. Yeah, she's like famous. That's like maybe the first friend I've had that I've won. That I've, well, there's just, I don't know. There's like a real, that feels like a really huge step from, from, I met from, I met, I met Taylor and she was, she was being so mean to men at open mics at, like, 11.30 at night. Yeah. That was kind of how I knew Taylor. Yeah.

And now, biggest star on Netflix. That's kind of crazy. That's really crazy. Right? But you're very famous too, but I didn't know you. No, it's just. I didn't know you in your humble era. Yeah, you did.

No, I didn't. In L.A.? I barely. Oh, Hayden, I was humble in L.A. You were seeing me at shows in L.A. Yeah, I mean, yeah, but like, good shows. You saw me at my lowest. I was doing backyard shows in L.A.

How? By the way, something I miss and loved. I was about to say, not something that was low at all. I was about to say, I guess I thought that was a really treasured experience. I guess I thought that, like, maybe that was the point. I thought you were a part of, like, beautiful and beloved community. I guess. Yeah, I thought like,

I completely loved it. I felt like hanging out with your friends in a backyard was kind of all we could ever hope for. It was never about that for me. It was always about the limousines and the Coke and the cash. And that's kind of what you're doing now.

That's what I'm doing now. I took a limousine here. I did Coke. I was counting cash. I fired three people on the way here. They didn't even work for me. Yeah. I said, driver, stop.

Roll down the window. I said, you're fired. Can I say right before we walked over here, I've never seen someone do that much cocaine. Yeah. That was really crazy. Well, it just levels me out. Yeah.

It's how I'm able to just be like this. Yeah, you were really hyper, and then you did all that cocaine, and you calmed right down. Yeah, it brings me down. It's like warm milk for me. Wow. Yeah, cocaine. It's because I've done so much of it. I'm such a party boy.

Yeah, it's like a cigarette before bed or whatever. Exactly. Are you partying? Are you doing the out till 5 a.m. thing? Not out till 5 a.m. But I definitely am. I mean, I'm trying to. I'm like not.

I feel like there are people who take it really seriously. there are people who are like warehouse parties and stuff i i love those but they take like a lot of i don't know it's like a constant uh going out being in that scene being at every party because there's always a party there's a party every night of the week yeah um i try to do it like once or twice a month that's really good yeah that's really good but that does feel it's like an intense form of going out, I think, where it's like you're getting naked. Hmm. Sorry. Okay, say on the podcast.

No, I love that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're getting naked at parties? Well, yeah. In, you know, dark rooms and stuff. Oh, that's beautiful. I don't go in there. They're really fun. I highly recommend. I think they're

like a friendlier than I guess they're friendlier than you would expect. Like, I I think gay guys are so scary. Completely. Right? Gay guys are so scary. You guys get it.

They are completely. Oh, they know. The big villain in all of their lives is one gay guy sitting right here. Don't laugh so hard. But it's like, it's like I expect to go in there and they're like, get this bitch out of here, you know, like, because it's like I'm a little different, right? Sure. But you're a girl. Yeah.

Right. But they're having fun That I'm having fun It's great It's so beautiful I'm really happy to hear that It's welcome Because if I found out

That they were being mean to you And they're hidden I shudder to think of what I would do It was a fear I was like That would really suck To like To like strip down

For strangers And for them to be like Hey Boo Not here Not here Sexual freedom But not

Not for a girl Not for you baby girl You got to go That's crazy I would have gotten it, though. I would completely hate that. I can't ever tell if I'm upset when a gay guy doesn't want to hook up with me or not. Because on the one hand, you're a gay guy.

So yeah. So yeah. You like guys. On the other hand, I'm like, grow up. You know? I think it could be fun. I don't know. Yeah.

I think, I think, no, I'm sorry. I don't want to say that. I don't want to say I think everyone should be more. I think everyone could be more bisexual. Why not? I think so. I mean, I really think so. But I don't want to like knock people for their sexualities.

But I really think it would be nice. If everyone was a little more, a little more pan, a little more by. Yeah. I mean, do you ever see these stories? And it's like, it's like, oh, this like this femme twink and this bitch lesbian and, like, thought each other was like a, was like the opposite gender. And they almost hooked up. Yeah.

I'm like, they should have hooked up. They totally should have hooked up. They totally should have hooked up. Completely. They saw each other from across the bar. They fell in love, and then they said no. Yeah. Because of some rule?

I think that's crazy. I would give anything to be attracted to women. I mean that. It would mean the world to me to be more bisexual. I suffer from being a strictly gay guy. It's a complete nightmare. It's a humiliation. It's an embarrassment.

It's almost conservative at this point. I see that, yeah. I don't give anything to be into women. Do you know how many women in my life I would be so happy with if I could just get that part figured out? Yeah. I mean, they're really great. They're the best.

I was gay boy for a long time. And when I transitioned, I started, like, dating girls sometimes. And they're really nice. You're great. I'm loving what you're doing over there. They're really lovely. They're like, they're like, hey, how are you? You know, they're like, they're checking in.

They're being like, does that hurt? I'm like, that's not something that I ever got from a gay man. Yeah. You know, they remember my name. It's really nice. It's really crazy. better it probably is over there. I mean, yeah, I think it would be great. I wish that that was happening for me. I'm very happy for you. I know you're, um, how many relationships are you in at the

moment? Committed? Yeah. Two. What about uncommitted? Hell yeah. What's the situation? Tell me about the setup. Well, so I have my two boyfriends. Um, I live with one of them. Um, he's like my primary. And then, um, we have another boyfriend who's really lovely too. And we see him together, the two of us. Only? Together? No, separately and together.

Like, we're all kind of like a little thruple sort of thing, but I hate that word. Do you? A nasty word. That makes sense. It really is kind of embarrassing to that. It feels heterosexual to me. I don't know. Thruple is like, I don't know, but there's not a better word to describe it.

It feels binding. Yeah, it feels like a legal kind of designation. Yeah, and that's kind of the whole point of polyesterful. amories to not do that. Yeah. But, um, so them, and then there are like, you know, some sweeties that I see and I really enjoy. Um, I've got, I, I feel like I've got, like, somebody for everything. You know what I mean?

I would fucking hope so. I think that's, I think that's also the point of polyamory for me is like, oh, I can, like, you know, like, what, what, it's like, I don't want to, wait, I can't say it's, like, take out menus. No, come on. I'm like, oh, what? be really good tonight. That's beautiful.

Yeah. I have a lot of criticism of the polyamory community. Yeah, that was one of the last things that you said to me. What did I say? Before you left L.A. What did I say? Which is I guess why I thought you weren't in your humble era, because you were like, you were like, oh, I was talking to somebody and I was talking about my partners,

and then you were like, I have to forget that you're polyamorous in order to respect you. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, that's awesome. I love that. It's not true. I say these things, but... Yeah, thank you.

I do wonder about your guys' lifestyle. It's really fun. We have a big bed. How big? Biggest you can get. California King? California King? There's a bigger one, you know?

Really? Yeah. And I know this because I know a gay guy Thruple in Manhattan that special ordered this bed so they could all live together in the bed. Wow. And I won't say any more about that for protection of their privacy,

but I have more to say off camera about the bed. I was in it once. It was fabulous, platonically. Sorry, I know. I would sleep with those guys. Hey, guys, hit me up. But, oh, it's called like an Atlantic king or something like that.

There's a Wyoming king and Alaskan king. Alaskan king. Alaskan king. Alaskan king is humongous. Yeah, I've heard about, like, I've had a couple gay guys who have money, be like, oh, like, we're thinking about, like, getting a custom bed for, because you can also just get a custom bed for a room and just get, like, a room that's basically a bad.

Yeah. You can get circular, you can get heart-shaped. That sounds so fun. I think that's how I would like to start. I move so responsibly and boring with my money. I think I would really like to start moving crazy, annoying gay guy style. I think you should. Have you ever, okay, this is, did you watch the Elton John?

Do you watch Rocket Man? I'm afraid to say I have not. Okay, well, Rocket Man is a fine movie, but it is, there's like, there's so many scenes in it of the guy who plays

Elton John, I can't remember his name, Taryn Ereden, but they're just doing like hedonistic gay sex in this mansion, and there's like mirrors on the ceiling and big,

big beds and pillows everywhere, and I'm like, yeah, that's kind of what the point of trying to, to be close to famous is for me is like to get closer to that

to put mirrors on the ceiling because right now if I put mirrors on the ceiling those are gonna fall can't afford to have to install properly yeah to get to a place where I can afford

to install them properly yeah that would be really cool that's the goal yeah that's the dream that's what this is all about I think so

I think that's completely beautiful yeah fuck art it's all about mirrors on the ceiling fuck art I've been saying for me the mirror situation has never been Like, I'm not interested in seeing like multiple angles of the fucking.

I'm really content to just be looking at the person I'm fucking. I'm also content to just be fucking one person. I'm pretty boring in that way. It is a lot to fuck multiple people. Look, I've been involved. It was fine. I almost had a threesome in Lisbon a couple weeks ago. Wow.

And, you know, it came time to make a decision. And I said that just sounds like so much work. was it going to be like a German threesome? How do you mean? Wait, sorry, what language do they speak in Lisbon? Where's Lisbon? Oh, it's in Portugal. Cut that, got that, got that, got that.

We'll cut that, we'll cut that. We'll cut that. No, no, come on, it's fine. People know that I'm done. And I have so much respect for you, by the way, legitimately, that I in my head was like, oh, Hayden knows about something I don't know called a German threesome.

Which is like, I don't know, where one stands in the corner and like takes notes on your performance or something. Yeah, one stands in the corner and makes... Be careful. No. Oh, that was nice. That was nice. That was very respectful of the German culture.

I'm looking around the room to kind of figure out who's German. Who's German? And maybe what the culture is. Every room I'm in, I try to find the exits and who's German. Yeah. I want to know what I'm up against. Just in case. Just in fucking case.

In my defense, I've never, I've only traveled. out of the country once in my life. I'm not well-traveled or worldly at all. Where to, and do you have any desire to travel more outside of the country? I would love to travel more outside the country. I went to Montreal for J.F.L. Of course. But that's the only time, and it's only been in that one little

city, and I was only surrounded by every comedian. Everyone I've ever met. So it wasn't really... Basically, family vacation to Canada. Yeah, family vacation to Canada, but with a bunch of people I would also choose not to bring. I guess it's family vacation. But yeah, I would love to travel more.

I just, I don't know, because I don't know where Lisbon knows. And that feels like a problem. That makes complete sense to me. And also Montreal, I would say of Canada, it's one of the more international, I would say it's the most international Canadian city to go to. I like that one. I've not been to Montreal, actually.

It is really, really beautiful. And they were all like, I don't know. It was cool to me, people who spoke French. Do you speak any other languages? No. Me neither. And I really, really, really want to. just not enough to work very hard at it.

Yeah. Same with music. That's kind of how I feel about both of those. I mean, I took Latin in high school. Did you take a language? I took Spanish, but it was like, I went to a school district that treated like a joke. They were like, we're going to eat tacos and give each other different names.

Yeah. It was fucking stupid. And I'm furious because had they taken it seriously, I was such a good student. I'd probably be really good at Spanish now. Yeah. But they didn't give a fuck. And that's why I didn't give a fuck.

And that's on me too. Well, I signed up when I was going into high school, they were like, we're going to have Mandarin. And that's what I signed up for. I signed up to take Mandarin. And then they dropped Mandarin and put everyone who signed up for that in Latin. And so I just learned a language. I went from learning the language that might be the most useful. Exactly.

To least I'll never use it. And I don't remember it. Yeah, it's completely dead. It's pointless. And everyone is like, oh, you can use that to become a doctor. I wasn't going to become a doctor. Hey, that's not happening for me. That wasn't going to be me.

You grew up in Ohio? How was it? Did you love it? You know, no. But I have a lot of love for Ohio. I think it's a beautiful place and there's lots of beautiful parts of it. It just, I wish I had agency there. I think that was the big.

I don't know why, but for a second, I thought you were saying I wish I had agents. Yeah, my biggest problem with Ohio is I guess that I could. couldn't get agents when I was a child. Didn't have representation there and that was really upsetting. It was like you had to drive so far to find the nearest person who did headshots. Like, like, I feel like had I been able to like be in a part of Ohio

that was really beautiful and that I really liked and have my own friends and stuff, like that would have been great. But Ohio was just... But that wasn't the case. That wasn't the case. And it's like, I don't know. It's kind of scary. A little bit. It's like... Totally. Kind of mid. It's not the worst. but it's also not the best.

They're having a gubernatorial election right now, are they not? I think Vivek is already. Yeah, Vivek, that awful, awful piece of shit. I think he's going to lose, isn't he? I don't know. She had to pull up Ohio gubernatorial. I think it was looking like it was going to go for him for a second. He just won the Republican primary.

Yeah. Right, that was always going to happen. What are the polls against his competitor? Right here. So these are primary results. Amy Act. Yep. Is the Dem frontrunner?

Was this election like last night? It was recently, it looks like. They don't have, let's... Search Vivek-Actin head-to-head polls. I want to know for me. We might cut this. I want to see what's going on in Ohio. Yeah.

I care about it. I definitely care about it. Oh, they've got... Plus one in Ohio is crazy. You're not going to be able to do more a chance. Yeah. You don't have a New York Times subscription. Well, they're fake news.

I think that's good. And by the way, that's a good thing. That is good. That is completely good. Okay, this kind of neck and neck here. Wow, this is good. That'd be really cool. I mean, I think, like, I do think Ohio Republicans are, like, a little disillusioned with,

just judging from, like, my family and, like, the people that I know there, I think they're not MAGA, certainly. They were never MAGA. Right. They were always kind of like, well, we just sort of care about, like, Christianity and that kind of thing. They were more like John Kasich types. They were very John Kasich. Yeah, it was like polite Midwesterners that were like, oh, we can't go in for all that spending.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, okay. I was the kind of Republicans and I'm like, you know what? Like, I miss y'all. Yeah. And then it got like really, it's gotten so crazy to the point that I think they are like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, they are getting a little bit freaked out. 100%.

People are having buyer's remorse on the whole deal. I think so. This is what I said when Trump got elected this most recent time is I was like yes I am sick about it of course and I don't

I don't there's no part of me that feels like this isn't going to be very very bad for a lot of people and also I do think if there is any silver lining I think this is going to be

the death of that whole movement because he is going to not deliver on anything and way overplay his hand and completely blow all the like goodwill that he had with a certain section of people

and that's exactly what he's done. Yeah, and he's even like doing, like he's getting rid of his own base by like not following the conspiracy theories. Right. Like they were all in on the Epstein stuff, on the vaccine stuff. Like, I don't know.

And it just feels like they're not really tapping into any of that. I don't know. I mean, what happened with the Epstein stuff? They did that fucking photo shoot with the influencers and the binders, and then they just did nothing. And they know who's in there and they're doing nothing.

Yeah, did you see his note with the Jeffrey Obscstine? Steve's note or whatever that they just published. No, what was it? They published a suicide note, but it just kind of said, like, what a wild ride. It was like, Jesus Christ. Well, had some crazy days, some crazy nights.

Better be on my way now. I think it ends up being like, this was not worth it or whatever. And I'm like, that's what you leave with? He's like, I guess if I had to say one thing, it's that Donald Trump had nothing to do with my crimes. Well, it was like, if you're going to write a suicide note, I think it's like leave on a big swing. Yeah.

You know? Oh, take some people down, say some... If I ever kill myself, you better believe my suicide note will be long and impressive. And mine will be filled with lies, by the way. Sure, I don't give a fault. All the people who've wronged me.

That is really funny, but I do want to say on the record, mine will be only the truth. That way, if it ever happens, I want you guys to know, I'm not playing games with my suicide note. I will tell the complete truth about everybody. And everything.

I want you guys to know that. I do not plan on killing myself. I think I'm going to die in a crazy freak accident like many, many years from now. Yeah, I see that for myself. Do you? Yeah. I don't think it will be natural causes.

I tell you what it won't be for me and that's a helicopter crash. I'm not getting in one. They scare the fuck out of me and I don't want to go up there. I think that's a real big thing for me right now is like how in L.A. can we get rid of the helicopters?

Yeah. Because it's crazy. And they're not doing anything. They just send the police... Helicopters up there to just fly around and fucking freak people out. It sucks. Yeah, that is what they're doing. They're menacing on purpose.

It's so fucked up. And then also they're crashing. They're crashing every other day. It feels like we lose another beloved celebrity. Yeah. Every other day because they were in a helicopter. A small plane crash. You know what I was reading the other night?

There was this musician. God, I can't remember his name. But maybe like William Bell or something. But I was listening to this song that came on. It was like a 70s like soul. song. And I was like, who is this guy? Like, this is great. I wonder what kind of career he had was stoned. So I started going down a fucking

research rabbit hole. And it turns out he was like best friends with Otis Redding and Otis Redding died in the plane crash. And he was actually meant to be on the flight that Otis Redding died on. Wow. But he, his show, he was supposed to perform in maybe Chicago and they had really bad weather. So his show was canceled. So he

didn't take the flight. And then he lived and then one of his biggest hits was actually writing a tribute song about Otis after he died. And I was like, what the fuck? Could you imagine? That's so beautiful. You're supposed to be on a plane with your friend,

and then it crashes and he dies, and then you write a beautiful tribute song about him and it's your best work. Crazy. Yeah, all Seth McFarland did was like, make more family guy. And you're saying that like that's not something, but family guy,

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what you're booking for. Booking.com. Booking dot yeah. Book today on the cider in the app. I love, I fucking love family guy so much. It meant a lot to me. when I was 13. Yeah. And you gave it up in adulthood? Yeah. I mean, I gave it up pretty quick. I think, like, later into high school,

I was like, this is not going to make me a better person. But I liked American Dad for a while. Yeah, that seems to be the dichotomy. My journey with all of that was that in high school, like when everyone was watching things like Family Guy, I was like, you guys are fucking morons. I'm not interested. Yeah.

And that's because they were all smoking weed and I wasn't, like, it was a whole thing. Yeah, yeah. And then I avoided it, avoid it. And then basically in like my mid-20s, I was like, actually, family guy fucking rocks. And then I started smoking weed. And then it really was like, it was all over. I started smoking weed when I was like 27.

Really? Yeah, just a couple years ago. Oh. Yeah. I would have thought sooner just because you seemed good at it. That means the world to me. I mean, I don't know. Like, there are like people who do it in like a cool way.

I feel like I can't be around people and be high And I think that that I do notice when other people can do that And not be crazy Do you know what? I am always shocked by the number of my friends That are getting like 40 milligram fucking blitzed Before like a work event Like literally going to work like that

It's crazy I remember when I moved to L.A. Like you know it was such like Comedian culture like you know smoke cigarettes and whatever outside and I was like, oh, well, like, I don't want to smoke a cigarette. It's bad for you. Like, I could, like, bring a joint, and then I could, like, just go outside and smoke a good joint. That's what I'm doing, yeah. I'd be, like, hanging out.

Yeah. And then I would just get so fucking weird and annoying. I would get so annoying. And it's also, like, it is a little intense. Maybe it just felt like that at that time, but it is a little intense to walk up to people who are smoking a cigarette and start smoking a joint right next to them. Yeah. Like, oh, jeez. Enjoy your light buzz.

I'm about to go to a different fucking planet. Right next to you, bitch. Yeah, and I have to take like multiple heads to hang out. Yeah. You know, I'm smoking half a joint at the open mic. And then I'm going up, I'm bombing. That is so fucking funny. Yeah, I don't understand.

It's like, it's one thing. I have friends, like, who work at, like, gas stations and, like, jobs where I'm like, yeah, sure, get fucking blitzed for that. Friends who are public figures that, like, their job is to speak and be normal. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? That is crazy. I can imagine you do get to a point, though, where you're just like so tired of it

that you're just like, I don't fucking care anymore. Oh, I'm there. I just can't be stoned. I won't do well. Yeah. I'm definitely at the point where I'm like, I don't care. I just, I was just hanging out with someone and I saw their,

they're like an actor, and they had like all their weed stuff and then a bunch of eyedrops right next to it. And I think to me that alluded to, to they're smoking in the morning, they're putting in the eyedrops, and they're going to sat. I mean, like, look,

I would love to get to a place where I can be stoned for, like, all my daily activities. I really want to start experimenting with it. I just am not sharp when I'm stoned. I'm not, I mean, obviously, I'm, like, literally, like, dumb, like, drooling. Yeah.

Like, begging for cheeseburgers. Like, I'm literally, like, fiending. I'm being so insane and weird. It's like, no, I don't think I would do good at my job. Yeah, it's not helpful for that kind of thing. I don't even really know what it is. helpful for. It's helpful for chilling the fuck out. In my life

I'm like, weed is really for when like, I don't, I don't smoke a ton, but weed is for when I like do not have another thing. Sometimes I'll smoke a little bit when I'm out. Like I smoked a little bit when I was out last night, like two hits and I was fine. Yeah. But mostly weed is for when I'm like, I have arrived at home. I don't have anything to do for 15 to

26 hours. Yeah. And I'm going to get as stoned as imaginable and just like zone out. Yeah. That's like 10 o'clock. I'm going to watch a move. be that's going to be the rest of my night I'm gonna play we got a switch I really love the switch you play video games at all I play

one video game I play one video game only on Xbox and it's unfortunately Madden whoa I know it's so humiliating it's kind of like if it feels almost as if I was like yeah I play like one game and it's like quidditch it's like it's like it's like it just feels like

you going online and playing madden like could only result in a harmful, like, language being thrown at you. Oh, I don't. So, that's a great point. And I do play against strangers on there. But what I do is, this is the, this is kind of the fun for me. I mute them immediately, so I can't hear a word they're saying. Then I turn off, on Xbox, you can, like, replace the game sounds with Spotify.

Whoa. You're listening to, like, viby R&B while you play football? Yes. I'm listening, and I'm listening to, like, folk. I'm listening to, like, Waxahatchee and Nathaniel Ratey and Kevin Morby. I'm literally listening to like sad folk songs while I fucking dust these two majors.

I'm hanging like 75 points on some fucking 13 year old in Wisconsin listening to the saddest country song you've ever heard in your life. They're on the other side going. You just can't hear it. You're blist out. Meanwhile, the lilac's drink the water.

I'm fucking, I'm bliss out. I'm stone. I'm running it up. That's so beautiful. I love that actually. That makes me like it. more. My favorite thing to do is to start, and for any Madden heads out there, nobody who listens to this show has ever played Madden. I like to very first play, run a Hail Mary, because I have a

specific route that I can hit every time. Wow. It really scares my opponents. I think the worst thing about Madden Ed is the last thing I'll say about Madden on the gay podcast, is like, it really makes, it really makes you, like, want Michael Vick. Like, it, like, because, because, because, What do you mean? Cut that, got that, got that. Well, no, no, no. Because, because, because I, maybe Madden's not like this anymore,

but like when I was playing it, it was like Michael Vick is a 100 player. He's like the fastest guy ever. He can throw like all the way across the field. Like he's perfect. He can do everything. Yeah. And it was crazy to me that they like kind of kept that.

Yeah. And despite like the dog stuff. And I do think that was fucked up. Skill is skill. You can't lie on the game. He's still that good. Even with the dog stuff. I guess the dog stuff doesn't affect how good of a player he is,

but it feels like there should have been some alluding to that. He loses some charisma points or something. Yeah, like, yeah. Like, maybe just like that, maybe we like, don't make the character like handsome or something. Like, I don't know. Really funny.

Because he did like a social ill. We have to like make him a little ugly in the game at least. Well, we have to do something because it's like... He went to prison. We did do something. He went to prison. Yeah, but I don't want to say that's the thing that should happen. Of course.

I understand that. God, my politics are so confusing. Conservatives would have a field day with this moment. Well, he should be punished, but I know that I can't say prison, so... God, so we have to make his character madden really ugly. That is so fucking funny. I would love to see you in charge of the law for a little.

bit. It would mean the world to me. I was, I think I have good politics. I'm just too dumb to figure out how to do stuff. I don't think you're dumb at all. I think you have great politics. I would love to see you in charge for a couple weeks. I think I could make some real, some real good changes. I mean, I would just get rid of. I would just destroy everything. I think really what I see is I want to send us back to like pre-industrial revolution. How do you mean? Like, people will die a little bit earlier in life. Totally. But, like, we'll, like, farm together and stuff.

Yeah. And, like, we'll kind of have everything that we need within, like, our little communities. That's beautiful local. Yeah, yeah. Everything localized. And we'll live in kind of, like, you know, the, we already have what we have. And so, you know, we can kind of, like, make little, like, artist houses out of, like, the skyscrapers and stuff. Yeah. Do you have any plan for all of the

murder and assault that was going on? in those societies? Yeah, so I think that like if we just kind of like talk to each other a little bit more. And just say hey guys, even if you want your neighbor's land you can't kill them.

You can't kill them. Yeah. I mean, I think that we do have to, I think ultimately like there should be a lot of really cool places and then there should be like one bad town. Yeah. And then we and then like everybody

that like wants to do murders and stuff it's like we send them all to the bad town. Yeah. And it's not prison. Like, they can run that town how they want. Yeah. But they're all doing their shit over there. And then maybe they figure out how to work together and how to be in community.

Crime Town sounds beautiful. Crime Town, I think, is a really good idea. Crime Island. We're sending you to Crime Island. Crime Island does start to get a little bit prisony. I mean, Crime Island is Australia. Oh, now that it's an island. I think when you...

But there's something. There's something there. Somebody who's, again, smarter than me, will be able to take Crime Town and figure out how to make it in the... is something. Somebody, I will have a crime town advisor. Yeah, I, well that's, I really think I could be a great I was like watching Zoran, I was like,

I feel like I could do the like the TikToks and then like, you could walk down the street and shake hands. Yeah, and then like I could figure out, I think I'd be a really good judge of like who could who could come in and like. The Zoran thing is so funny. I love him, obviously. I'm like thrilled that he won. I don't vote here, but I would have very happily voted for him. I would also

if I lived in L.A. be voting for Nithia for the record. If you're voting in L.A., vote for Nithia. Spencer Pratt needs to go to crime town. Yeah, he needs to go to crime town. He's a fucking brain dead, belligerent moron. And Karen Bass is useless. But I think it's so funny

the way that like you kind of like can't control the vibes assessment that you get from the general public in politics. Like Zoran will do something. He'll walk down the street and shake hands with people and people will just be like foaming at the mouth ravenous for how cool he is and he is. Yeah. But then if like if Kathy Hokel

did the same thing, they'd be like, they'd be ready to kill her. Like, there's just a, and it's, and I also agree with that and feel the same way. But I'm like, how do you, I guess it's just being genuinely cool? I think it's being genuinely cool. I think there's a certain level of charisma and then also just like being

pretty normal. Yeah. I think like a big problem that I feel like I'm seeing a lot of progressive politicians run into is like they're trying so hard to perform cool. Right. That if they were just like earnest and kind of having fun, Um, like, Zoran's kind of awkward.

He's kind of, like, dorky. And I think that, like, if people, like, kind of stopped trying to, like, I don't know, like, sell a personality, I think they could do better. Not that Zoran's not doing that, but, like... Well, they really thought they were going to get him. It's so funny all the times they thought they were going to get him, and then they just boosted his profile by, like, a million. Like, when they put out, they were like, oh, my God, look at this

a humiliating rap that he did where he was, like, 23 and shirtless and a whole all cart. And I was like, he looks so fun and pretty hot. Yeah, he should be the mayor. Every time they tried to get him, they just showed him like him being a normal guy. And I think that's also something that I think we're missing a lot. They did the same thing to AOC.

Do you remember when they put out that? They were like, look at this video of her dancing on a rooftop. That was crazy. She looks so hot and fun. Now every day RFK Jr. is dragging a deer, a dead deer across the white house lawn. bringing it in front of a bunch of kids and just fucking stabbing it open

I'm going to be like oh yeah when she danced that was crazy oh shit that's so funny what are you looking forward to what are you excited about what's going on with you?

I don't know I'm like touring I have like my hour and stuff and I'm excited to do that more I really, really like doing shows. I like doing stand-up a lot. That's a lot of what I look forward to. How's the hour going?

How has building it been? Like, what, have there been parts of it that you were? Is this your first hour? Yeah, that's my first hour. Have there been parts of it that you were surprised by? Like, what, how, tell me about building the hour. I think, like, it really started from, like, it's been interesting. I think it's also just, like, evolved throughout my, like, transition and also, like,

I think my political perspective. Like, I think when I started, I was a lot more like, kind of like, I wouldn't say they're hacky trans jokes, but they were just, like, pretty basic about, like, how it was perceived and stuff. Yeah, finding voice, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And now, like, now where I'm at with it is I feel so confident in who I am that it is what I'm saying is crazy. And I'm, like, I'm, like, screaming and I'm going nuts about. I don't know, like kind of in like a, like, I don't know, like a bashback sort of way or whatever.

Like, it's less about me being like, oh, I hope that people see me as a girl and more me being like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and I really, I really like that. You have some of my favorite jokes about gender. You have, there are two jokes of yours in particular that I think about a lot. And I'll butcher them in front of you and I don't care.

I don't feel embarrassed. I'm going to butcher your own jokes in front of you. There's the one that you have about being like, about being like, when I was non-binary, I was like, gender's fake, it's completely invented,

we don't have to think about this, like grow up. Yeah. And then when I transitioned to being a woman, I was like, I'm a girl. I'm actually just a girl. It's funny.

I feel like that's the thing that like, gender people do a lot because it's like, it's like, and that's not what, like, non-binary is not soft. lodging transgender.

I mean, both are non-binary people are trans, but like, I don't know, it is really funny when you go from non-binary to binary trans because it is like, gender's made up.

And then it's like, but I'm maybe a little bit more like this one. But if I had to pick. Yeah, I love that joke. Well, it's such a funny thing to me about like the older trans people that I'm friends with

is that they have a real, a lot of them a real fucking, gripe with non-binary because they love the binary. They're like, no, I was a boy and now I'm a girl. And they're very intense about it. That's really something I've been running into a lot is like, I don't know. Trans people have such a like diverse array, you know, of opinions about like transness and like how they should be perceived. And also like what we should be doing as trans people.

It feels a lot like leftists to be real. It's like so many people have a different idea of it. get so mad if someone is doing it the wrong way. I kind of think that the whole point of like leftism and transgenderism is being like, oh, you can kind of do whatever you want. That's the point we're fighting for you to just do however you want to do it, but you just can't tell anyone else how to do it. But yeah, I'm like meeting older trans people and they're like talking to me about,

like, I don't know, sometimes I'll be like, oh, like, so like did you get, like, Like, just talking about, like, getting work done or whatever. And it is a little bit like, um, yeah, we don't really do that anymore. Well, well, and we do and we do. But, like, maybe we don't just kind of spring out on people anymore. Yeah. Um, I don't know. Yeah, I think if I've learned anything from the older queers in my life in general,

it's sort of sad and sort of beautiful, but it's the idea that truly everybody, no matter who they are, um, every group is susceptible to the idea of, aging just makes you more conservative. Like, I'll talk to older queer people across the spectrum, and almost every single one of them will say something that I'm like, whoa, what the fuck? Yeah. But it's like, yeah, they, I don't know, this is a person who was born in, like,

1960s, like. Totally. And also, it's, like, it's very real that, like, I don't know, whatever you feel will help you survive, especially, like, I don't know, it's, like, trans people, like, giving me advice. even if it is unsolicited and I don't like the advice that they're giving me. It's like that is coming from a real place of their experience and like what they think.

And I do respect it and I take it and like, well, it's not for me. But I don't know. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand down and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brain and get paid all in one place. We all could use a good website in this day and age.

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these tools are here to help. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com.com slash ShowTrue. That's RocketMoney.com slash Showtrue. RocketMoney.com slash Showtree. I'm very grateful that I get to know older trans people. I didn't think that that would ever be like a thing for me. Yeah.

Like, that's crazy. I didn't even really know that that was going to be a thing. like period but like let alone that like I get to like talk to them I don't know yeah that makes total sense yeah I think we would uh all of us in general just benefit more from like the thing you're saying of being like yeah someone can tell me something and I can just go that's not for me but thank you it was nice to talk with you about that I think we all would benefit more from just being like oh yeah I don't feel that way it's okay that you do yeah I mean I think then that feels like security and your identity to me is being like oh yeah

yeah, like, you can say something and I don't feel the same way or, like, I don't want to receive that, but, like, that doesn't affect me. Like, I don't, sure. Legit, no worries. No worries. I kind of got my shit down. Yeah. And you got your shit down. That's okay. We don't have to

change each other's minds. I mean, like, be respectful and stuff, but that's really all I ask. Do whatever you want. I just, yeah, I'm like, I don't care. Do whatever you want. I'm going to do what I want. I'm having a great time. Yeah. You can tell me anything you want to tell me, and I'm just like, yeah, I think my favorite people are people that are just like self-aware and

non-plus. Like, I just love people that are like, oh, yeah, I know I'm like this. And that's, this is something I'm willing to try and change is the thing I'm not. Like, just very aware of what's going on with them. I like that. Yeah. And it's really comforting because it is like, I don't know, it's, it's overwhelming when you're trying so hard to be so many different things the right way. I think when you let go of that, it is like a very nice feeling to be like, oh, I'm just like going be me and like do this my own way and your way might be like some way that I would totally hate but like do it yeah you can do it um getting back to the hour because there was a question I wanted to ask you that I forgot about um when you were building your hour did you did you look at it in terms of like any particular

spacing like were you like oh I'm going to build two half hours and meld them or I'm going to build four 15 minutes set like was there any particular way that you built it out or did you just kind of like vibe it. Yeah. It's kind of like, like 20 minutes about, like, me, 20 minutes about, like, how I grew up,

and then maybe, like, 20 minutes about just the world around me and the world, either reacting to me or me reacted to the world. I don't think that was, like, super intentional. But, like, I think that that helped me in terms of, like, putting it together, of being like, okay, like, what do I want to get across

if, like, somebody's coming and, like, seeing me? And it's, like, probably my perspective, my experience and whatever, I think it was funny right now. And, yeah, I think it's working really well. I just did it last night. It was really, really fun. Where'd you do it? I did it for the Netflix as a joke festival.

You were in L.A. last night? I was in L.A. last night. When did you get here? This morning. Oh, my God. Aidan, are you so exhausted? I'm doing 10 out of 10. I said, I don't know where Lisbon is,

and I think that they should make Michael Vick ugly in the games. I'm doing 10 out of 10. Did you at least have a direct flight overnight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, thank God. Yeah. there. Oh my God. And I think I'm going to get to be there for it. I'm really excited.

I love Steve Hernandez. He's a fucking legend. So much. Isn't he the best? He's the best. Yeah, I think like maybe the, I would say like maybe number one straight guy that I, or sorry, not straight guy. Please. Number one, but I, what am I trying to say? But I know exactly what you mean. I'm like, I'm like, number one, like cis, like masculine. Like, number one masculine guy. Yeah. Like I, I don't think I've ever met a more positive masculine figure. Yeah. But me being like, oh, the best straight guy is like bisexual.

True. Bisexual and polyamorous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bisexual and polymers. Yeah, I don't know. He's sick and he's so funny. I fucking love Steve. He is like one of the most unexpected.

Like when I moved to L.A., I knew Steve from the internet before I moved to L.A. because he and Amy Miller were truly like so fucking nice to me. Like when I was in Chicago and I had like a little bit of internet attention. I was like really starting to pick up and like I was still not bad at standup but like I was very bad at stand up at one point at this point I was decent but I was like really still figuring out my voice yeah amy and Steve amy miller and c. Fernandez truly took such good care of me they like found out I was coming to L.A. and they were

like Amy was like I'm gonna call the lyric Hyperion and like try and get you a show slot and like got me booked at lyric for a headlining show and they put me on their podcast and Amy like if there's any comics you want to know like let me introduce you and Steve same thing like Steve was like, if you decide to move to L.A., like, hit me up. And, like, truly, like, I owe them so much for their, like, help to me at that time. Yeah. And I was just blown away. I think they're both so fucking funny, but I was blown away by Steve's point of view and, like, perspective.

Yeah, I just don't think I'd ever met anyone. Like, like, who, like, I don't know. But talked about that stuff before. And, like, also, like, talked about it with such, like, there's, like, a masculine in bravado to talking about like queerness that I had not encountered before and I was like oh that's so sick I love that

he's up there being like come on fellas if he's never been in the ass you haven't he's like he's like slap at a football being like once a guy you think kids you're not going back I'm telling you it's great

I love that yeah he he fucking cracks me up. And Amy too. Amy's so goddamn fun. Yeah, and it's so sweet. Amy Miller is a fucking killer.

She's so good. She has a jet. Yeah, I won't butcher her jokes to you, but they're both just so, so, so fucking funny. LA has a lot of like truly, for all the jokes about the LA comedy scene, which are all valid.

And very valid. Completely valid. All true based 100% in facts and data. For all of that, there are just like some fucking amazing comics in LA that are, I'm just like, oh my God, you should be so much more famous than some of the people that are famous for this.

There's so much better. Yeah, it's weird. I mean, I don't know if, like, it's, if the move is to come here and, like, do more stand-up. But, like... For you, you mean? Well, for, like, there are a lot of people

who I think could be, like, really, really good at stand-up, but they want to stay in L.A. so that they can, like, act and stuff. And, like, that's totally valid. Or they just want to stay in L.A. because they want to stay in L.A. I think staying in L.A. to stay in L.A. is valid. At this point, staying in L.A. because you want to act is like... It's like staying in Atlanta's because you like being above water. It's like that isn't happening there anymore.

Like, that's over. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. But L.A. is such a beautiful place to live. It's like stay because you enjoy living there. It really, it really is. I love L.A. L.A. is so good. You think you'd ever move here? I do think about it. I will. I really, I really want to have the... that experience. And I really like my quality of life in L.A. I really like being in the sun. I really like my people.

But God, to miss out on living in New York City. New York, the big Apple. That was kind of why I moved to. I was just like I was, I'm sure I'll move back to, I was telling someone the other night, like, I imagine in three years I will probably move back to L.A. for

multiple years and then move back to New York. I feel like I'm just going to ping pong my whole life. Yeah. then I'll do something fucking random and move to like Amsterdam or something. But I really was about to turn 30 and I was like, oh, fuck, I am, I am not going to want to do this when I'm 40, I don't think. So I better go do it now. Well, I really want to like go out more and be around people more. And I, I'm sure I could make that happen in L.A., but it feels like a lot more work than to do it here.

Whenever I'm here, somebody invites me out like every single night. Yeah. And that's so great. And when I'm in L.A., people want me dead. Maybe people don't like me. But, like, that's how people just don't want to go and do stuff. I think they're tired of driving. They don't want to drive.

People don't want you dead in L.A. They just do not want to leave the house. Yeah. It's very, very rare for people to want to leave the house in L.A. I think that's it. I really, my dream, my absolute dream is I really want to, like, have, like, some land that I, like, collectively share with a bunch of other people, and we can all have little, like, tiny homes on it or something.

Where do you imagine that's going to happen? I don't know. Maybe, like, the Pacific Northwest or something. I think you'd be the first queer person to ever try and do that in the Pacific Northwest. I don't, yeah. If I do it in the... Well... And guess what?

I'll be there. And please, dude, I really think it could be so beautiful. I mean, I just, like, I miss hanging out. I, like, want everybody to be hanging out. and I think that if we all lived 20 feet away from each other, maybe a little farther, right? Maybe 30, 40. Maybe 30, 40.

Then I think it would be really easy. I'm down. Unfortunately, I'm trying to make this. This pitch is not working because of the state politics, but I'm trying to make this pitch for Missouri because Kansas City is so great and so easy to get. It's an hour to Chicago, it's an hour to Atlanta, it's three to New York and three to L.A.

It's like the perfect place for touring artists in general, and I keep trying to make this pitch, and everyone's like, we don't want to live in Missouri due to the Christo-Fascist government. I'm like totally, totally, totally. And I get it. So it's not happening for me where I want it to happen, but I do have the same vision as you. I'll come. I'll get a gun.

Come and get a gun. That's what a lot of my trans friends are doing in Kin City. Hell yeah. Yeah, they're definitely, people are getting armed that have never thought about getting guns before. I'll tell you that. I love that. I think that's so sick. I think it's chic as fuck.

I think that we got to do it. I mean, it's just, it's not going to be, unfortunately, it's not looking like fascism is going to end with us all kind of spraying. I do think that it's going to involve some guns at some point. And so I don't think it's a bad idea for us to all brush up a bit. Yeah. I got some, you know. I was an Eagle Scout.

Oh, I can shoot. I can shoot. I'm a great shot. I don't want to, here's the thing, though. I'll move before I get involved in any sort of gun revolution. I'll go somewhere else. I love this country up to a point. It's not that I love this country, but I love revolution.

I'm the opposite. I'm in lay-mise. I'm in lay-miss. I'm in lay-miss. I think I can really lay-mise my life. I keep going back and forth about whether or not I love this country. Sometimes I'm like, of course, objectively I don't.

How could I? And then other times I'm like, I really do love this country. I love like, I don't love our government, but I love like the people in my experiences here and it being home and like the, I love like the physical beauty of this country. Like there are things I love about this country. And I go back and forth about what that means. am I patriotic?

Am I, and then I'm like, ooh, is it actually patriotic? Is it patriotic how much I hate this country? I think, I mean, I think it's like, it's like, all you can really care about is people, right? And the people that you're around. It's like hard to care about like a thing, like a country because like what is a country, you know, a government or whatever.

I've been thinking about this a lot. What is a country? Is it a government? Is it a border? I don't think it's a border. But I'm like, that is what would technically, define the space of a country. So I think it's just like, yeah, I love people

in my community. I love people that I'm around. I love the beauty and the place that I grew up and drive through or whatever. And I would defend that against like data centers or whatever it's going to be. I think they're going to, I think that pretty soon

they're going to introduce like the big smashing robot that like destroys mountains. And I'm pretty sure that's coming. I'm ready to kill the robot. Yeah. They're like, oh, the robot that mows down every tree or whatever. It's going to be the Lorax soon.

It's like, I know it's like, oh, ha ha, jokes, jokes, but it's going to be the Lorax soon. I really think it is. And we're going to have to kill the one slur. Do you know what, though? I fucking love being American. Like when Europeans make fun of Americans and they're like, you guys are so loud and annoying and, like,

you think that your culture is the center of the universe. I'm like, I don't know. I kind of just love being American. I love being loud as fucking Paris. I love annoying little French people giving me side-eye. Like, I give a fuck what they think. I'm like, yeah, I'm fucking fat and loud and tall and American, and I love it.

Yeah. I can't get enough of it. Fuck a baguette. I love calories and being loud in country music and football. My dick. I love it. I completely love it. Wow, you are American.

I love movies. I love everything we do. I love movies. I love the California coast. I love the fruited plains. You should write a country song. This is crazy. This is a shirt.

Fuck everybody. I love America in some ways. Yeah. And tell that to the French people. Yeah. I mean, I do think they get a little, they get a little obsessed with, with rules. I like what I,

What I do like about American culture is that I do think there's an idea. I don't know that we follow it, but like that like, oh, nobody's going to fuck with us. Like, we're not going to listen to anybody else's rules. You know, we're not going to let anyone step on us or whatever. Totally. And that's when we start doing war crimes. And I'll say, that's where I step off. Right at our war crimes, I do start to step away.

But if that idea, like, like, if that idea was cool, that. would be really great of just being like, I'm going to do me, fuck you, you can't tell me what to do. I like that idea. I don't like that that involves the destruction of the world for some reason. Not into that part of it at all. I'm not into that part

at all. But I don't know. I really feel like there's just a little misaligning where we could really get some people to turn over into being like oh wait, I don't think that like the government's, like I don't think it doesn't have to be this way.

guess that's, I think people really feel like it has to be this way. What is so true to you, Hayden? Oh, I have one. Okay. You'll be the first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And this goes kind of along with what we've been talking about.

Okay. I don't, I think that people have to stop making fun of furries. Full stop. Say that. I think that they are amazing. They're sweet people. And also, it's, well, also it's hack. It's hack as hell.

It's like, we've heard it. You think they're weird. Bitch, you're weird. Your boyfriend hates you. It's like, I promise you're weird. Also, they're eye doctors. They have a lot, they have a lot going on. Yeah.

We're going to need them for the revolution. Yeah, we do. When the revolution comes, we'll need their hacking. It'll come in a tail. Yeah, that's right. When the revolution comes, it'll be wearing ears. Yes. And these people have money.

Yeah. And when we go up against the American government, we're going to have to do guerrilla warfare. You know, it's not going to be pretty, but like we're going to have to be in the woods and stuff. And who's going to want to be the gorilla? That's right. That's right.

Buries. Yes. Yeah. Well, they're going to be looking for a bunch of people. They're going to be looking for a bunch of people hiding out in the woods. Yeah. They're not going to see a bunch of a bunch of dears and foxes. And they're going to go, well, not they're not here.

They're going to go, that's so realistic. Fox. That has to be real. That fox must be real. It's so tall and standing on two legs. And then they turn around, that fox has a gun. Hello. That's right. That's just a fox grazing in the forest. Surprise, the fox has a shotgun. You're done. You're cooked. I think that's how we win.

I think that's beautiful. And I don't think, yeah, I think they're so lovely. I just don't think we should be... I'm an ally to the furry community. Everyone that I've met has been absolutely lovely. I don't want to be personally involved with the costumes, but I love seeing them do their thing. I love that they have entire like personalities and personas for them. Yeah. I think it's beautiful and creative and wonderful. Me too.

I don't have enough closet space. Otherwise, you know. Or, I mean, the financial investment is crazy. Yeah. The financial investment is crazy. You could buy like a very nice luxury vehicle for what they're spending on these costumes. Yeah. And in a way, isn't that beautiful that they spent it on a handcraft sort of piece of art?

More people should do things like that. Yeah. That is absolutely beautiful. We need the furries. We'll need them in the revolution. I send my love to them. And by the way, they hurt nobody. They hurt nobody.

They're not recruiting like Christians. No. You're welcome if you want to come, but they're not outfiring. No. And if they did, then, you know, we could talk about that. But they're not. They're existing. They're being lovely.

They're being kind to each other. Like, their community is mostly, like, free of Nazis, I think. I think it's a totally Nazi free space. I think there's a couple in there. There's a couple in there. But they get like excommunicated. They're like, you know, they're really good about keeping the Nazis out. Something that the Christians are historically bad.

Not so big on. Yeah, they elect them. Yeah, they really like them. They like keeping them around. I think this is completely beautiful. Do you have a furry in your life? I have a couple. And they're all really nice.

That is beautiful. Yeah. I like, I just, I feel like, I also feel like there's a little bit of shame there because for a while it was like, you know, you're in like middle school or whatever, and you're like, that's, that's weird. That's, that's creepy. You know, it's like you don't understand it and you want to not be different. I mean, to your point, it's not weirder than being in a loveless marriage of convenience.

Yes. That's way fucking weirder. And a lot of people do that every single day. And we're expected to interact with them like, they're fucking interesting and they're not. Yeah. And I think there's something about like growing up and also being like, oh, again, with what we were talking about is just being like, oh, I can just like do whatever. I want and I should be allowed to do whatever I want.

Whatever makes me happy. And if that's furries, furry shit, go off. I think that's so cool. I think that's so cool. I think that's so cool. Shout out to furries and their fursonas. Yes.

I love them. I want them to be well. And I do welcome them in the revolution. And I think when the revolution comes, I hope that they'll be out there on the front lines. I don't, we don't need them to be on the front lines. They need to be on the front lines.

They need to be on the front lines. Bye. I'm going to be sending love to them from a safe location. Somewhere far away. Y'all start putting vests inside those suits. Yeah, vest up. I think that could be cool. I'm going to be posting on my Instagram story.

Shout out to all the furries in Cleveland today that we're a part of the battle. I'm on like a terrace. Yeah. I'm on a terrace in Abitha. Yeah. On Signal. Wow.

I love it. Oh, that's so funny. Do you have any skills I don't know about? Do you have any useful skills for the Revolution or otherwise? God. Oh, no. I know how good you are at comedy. Yeah, I'm kind of just like nice to be around sometimes. I completely agree.

Oh, gosh. I like cooking. I'm getting into cooking a lot. Ooh, what are you making? I'm making a lot of, I really love breakfast. I'm making a lot of curries. I'm making a lot of salmon. What kind of curries? You know, just like a golden curry.

Like, yeah, red curry. I don't know. I really like spicy food. A lot of the people in my life don't like spicy food. So it's kind of... I do. You do? Yeah, I would eat...

If you made spicy curry for me, I would go crazy. Okay, well, when you're in L.A. for Steve Hernandez is... You won't be back yet, though, will you? Will I? Yeah, I'll be here. I'll be here for like two weeks. I'll be here for a week. Oh, wow.

You'll be back. This is huge. We make curry for me, for real. Absolutely. Do you mean it? Yes. Can I hang out with your boyfriends? Definitely.

I would love for you to meet my boyfriend. Oh my God, life is so good right now. Do I get to meet all five or just the two mains? I would say the two main, but the other three come around sometimes. One of them is not around at the moment. Okay. No worries. I'm like...

Extremely vague and scary, and I actually don't want you to go any more into that. I'd rather play a game. I'm like they're in Europe. They're not around right now. They're unavailable. In the woods. Hayden, I'm going to read you 15 statements. So you're going to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false.

And baby, if you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you $50. Can I double or nothing? Yes. Great. Wait. You're the first person to ever ask. Wait, how do I double or nothing? You're the first person to ask.

I don't know what it means, but we'll do it. Okay, great, great. Here's what I'll tell you. Okay, so you need to get 10 or more correct to get $50. How about if you get 13 or more correct, I'll give you $150. Work. You ready? Okay.

Walk in. Fuck, fuck. Okay. Rugrats ran for nine seasons. True. That is true. The iPhone 5S was released in 2013. False. That is true. Champanzis or herbivores?

True. That is true. All metals are magnetic. False. That is false. Monroe, Ohio's motto is firmly founded, proudly growing. True. That is true.

Jimmy Johns was founded in 1983. True? That is true. One light year is a measurement of time. Uh, true. False. It's distance. Hey, fuck.

Jellyfish are 95% water. True. True. The Mojave, the Mojave desert is in Africa. False. False in the U.S. Ohio, is it Mojave or Mojave? Mojave.

Thank you. Ohio University's mascot is Randy the Bobcat. False. False. It's Rufus the Bobcat. Hell yeah. All arachnids have eight legs. False.

True. It is true. Carly Ray Jepson played soccer in college. What? It's a bunch of like science and history. I went double or nothing on him Carly Ray Johnson played soccer. True.

Falshies not. That's crazy. Oh my God. A heptagon has seven sides. True. That is true. Switzerland is landlocked. True.

True. Bonnie Raid has never won the Grammy for album of the year. False. That is false. I'm so sorry. I think you got 12. 12. Oh, that's okay.

That's okay. So now you get nothing. Yeah. And all because I hadn't been following what Carly Ray Jepson was doing in college. You could have asked me, you could ask me anything about her and it would have been pretty

50-50 if I'd get it. Who could know about it? Was she really good? She did not. She didn't play. Oh, why? Chance just goes into his fucking weird little brain and pulls out something to say.

He's a sick, and he gets, by the way, he gets a lot of them wrong. There's a lot of contesting. Please, please search stuff. I'm going to, does anyone, do you have Carly Ray Jumson's contact? Yeah, you want to call her? I would love to. No, I'm kidding.

Could you imagine? Hi, I have her number, and we call her right now and go, did you play? Is there any, did you ever touch a soccer ball in college? I'm talking one afternoon with friends is all I need. Carly Ray Jemson, I'm calling on you, please. Once in the park with friends, if you touch the soccer ball, I think I can get this money, please. Yes. Oh, my God.

Hayden, tell people where they can find you, please. And how they can support you? Oh, my God. Yeah, you can. You can follow me on Instagram at underscore Hayden, underscore Johnson. I'm also on Blue Sky. If people are, I'm trying to get people into Blue Sky. I really think we should get into Blue Sky.

I think Blue Sky is good. Yeah. You got to get past some of the shit, but I think it's fun. I think it can be fun over there, but nobody's joining. Yeah. It's just me and like 10 weirdos. And then I'm touring right now. My hour is called Piss Queen.

I'm in a bunch of cities. I don't know when this comes out, but you can find it on my Instagram. Oh, yeah. Rock on. Thanks for doing it. This is great. Thanks for having me.

Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust.

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