So True with Caleb Hearon - Katie Kershaw Has a Belly Ache

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Howdy, y'all! This week's guest is the hilarious Katie Kershaw! Katie and Caleb talk growing up in Kentucky, the best BBQ, a harrowing trip to Walmart, a memorable call from Katie's mother on her birthday, Tyler Childers, and much more! Get tickets to see Caleb, Waxahatchee, and more at YeeHaw: A Benefit Show for Kansas City Presented by KC Tenants on November 23rd at The Midland in Kansas City, Missouri: https://www.midlandkc.com/events/detail/670783  Can’t make it to KC for the show? Donate to KC Tenants here: https://kctenants.org/donate Subscribe to our YouTube channel for full video episodes!Join our Patreon for an exclusive extended interview with Katie and other bonus content!Follow Katie! @this_is_katie_kershaw Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud For thousands of unique gifts & 15% off your first order, visit UncommonGoods.com/sotrue.About Headgum: Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com. » SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1  » FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum  » FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/ » FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So me and Katie take our seats and we were saying that my friend. Not me by the way. Not you by the way. We take our seats and I just look over and I go, hey, I don't think it's going to happen for us. Everyone's in love with their seat. We were just talking about our favorite old lesbians.

Yeah. And I immediately, sort of impulsively, my whole body was overtaken by the desire to say Cherry Jones. Cherry Jones and I. Right. Have never met physically. Right. Um, I'm so deeply in love with her.

I got a bootleg. Come on. Of her performance in Doubt on Broadway when I was in college. Tell them about it. And I was like, I have to see this. A, oh boy, a bootleg of her performance in doubt on Broadway. Yeah. That's a level of gay that I, it's hard to imagine.

Next question. Next question. I mean, I once slept with a guy because he was like, oh yeah, actually. Boo! Boo! He was like, my family, my sister bought Cherry Jones's family's old like floral shop in Tennessee. And I was like, you slept with her? I'm one step closer. You slept with him because they bought a flower shop that she used to? His sister bought Cherry Jones's family's old floral shop

and I said yeah and you said I'm about to bust it open for you brother you said guess what doors open come on in yeah yeah yeah damn that's beautiful I love cherry if I knew that all I had to do to get a little bit of ass was buy a flower shop I'd be buying flower shops left and right. Hahahaha! Please do. Dude, dude, dude, on the Mary Beth episode, for some reason I kept slipping in and out of like a, what would we call it, a persona? I kept, at one point, at one point in the episode I literally said, she said something about impossible and I said,

well you look at the word impossible right there It says I'm possible. I Couldn't stop doing shit like that. I don't know. I'm possible Impossible impossible. Oh my god. Well, who's your favorite singer of all time favorite singer of all? You can only pick one and by the way all the others have to die These are the little games. I like to play You play it every week um Let me see and everyone dies everyone dies except for this singer. Did they just kind of poof left behind style?

Yeah, it's not gonna be violent It's just gonna be like this is gonna be like they'll be standing there in this in a second when you name the name every Singer that isn't that person let's go oh My god, and then they're gone. It god and then they're gone it can't be a band it can't be a duo no pick one of them oh you know who i'm gonna say uh tyler childers i'll save tyler tyler you and tell her buddies yes we are how do you know tyler so tyler's cousin his first cousin johnny cowcook i can already tell tell this about the most Kentucky shit I've ever heard. I already know that the way you know, this singer is going to be the most

Kentucky shit. So Tyler's cousin went down and he went to the same fish fry. Basically. No. So Tyler's first cousin, John Calcook, uh, and I went to college together. And when we were in college, Tyler was like a teen basically, and he would come stay with us and sleep on Johnny's couch and like do random like open mics at like Potbelly. Yeah, fuck yeah. Let's go dude. Yeah, and he would like put on little concerts in Johnny's living room. And then when we

lived in Chicago, Tyler did the same thing. And so I just always knew him as Johnny's little cousin and was just like a huge fan, just obsessed. Would see him everywhere, I love him. And then I got to see him at Kia Forum or? Crazy. Yeah, and I was just so overwhelmed. Did you cry? So overwhelmed. Yes! Yeah, of course, I would sob.

Yes, and then we go backstage and I'm like, oh, it's Tyler. He has, as you know, I'm a mega fan. Yeah. I love Tyler Childers. He's unbelievable. Tyler, shout out brother. We could also be friends.

Hit me up. I'll go to your potbelly shows. No, he has one of my favorite lyrics of all time. Which one? She's working hard to make some sense, but she ain't got a dime. Oh. Come on. She ain't got a dime. She ain't got a dime. Oh, come on. Got a dime. She ain't got a dime.

Oh, his lyrics are unreal. They're nuts. And he's been writing them, I mean, since he was a child. It's wild. Yeah. God, it's so much cooler than comedy, huh? It's so much cooler than comedy. It's so much cooler than comedy. And the fact that he's charming, kind, nice, funny. Yeah. Shouldn't be allowed. Fucked up handsome.

Handsome, he's a handsome boy. I'll go so far as to say. Yeah. Wife, also talented. She's a phenomenal singer. Beautiful, by the way. Sonora May. And like, gorgeous.

Oh, she's a singer. Yeah, you would love yourself. I'll send it to you. So you know what you just did when you picked Tyler. What? I killed her. Yep, she's gone. She's out of here.

In this world, in this podcast studio, that's crazy, Katie. But also, she's so many- I can almost cry. She's so many- She's so many other- She's also a mother. She's a mother. And so, if you think about it, it can be-

Yeah, it's not- She's a mother, so she stays. Absolutely the best way to bully anyone, just repeat them using that word. No, she's a mother, so she stays. She's a mother. She can get it. She can get it. Oh, you want me to stay. That's not the rules.

That's what I'm gonna start doing all the time, when someone says anything to me. Do it. Can I take your order? What can I get you guys started with? Oh my god, you know what I did last night? What did you do? Me, Allie, and Gabby went to Smokehouse in Burbank. You been?

No. Smokehouse, old steakhouse by the studios up there. Like old Hollywood steakhouse. Anyone been here to Smokehouse? You guys know what I'm talking about? I knew Casey would, I knew Chance would. Okay, Smokehouse went, we went crazy. We got, it was a beautiful night. We went, we got garlic bread, we got a shrimp cocktail. We got bacon wrapped scallops. Thank you.

At one point a woman comes around with a camera and she goes, we're doing complimentary postcards to mark your experience here tonight. Can I take your picture? We go, yes ma'am. Takes our picture. Then I got a rack of lamb. No.

The girls both got steaks. After the picture? Baby. Baby. It was so, I had the night of my life. Then we went back to their place, smoked a little weed. We took four different types of sour gummy candies and made a salad out of them. Oh, what are those?

Like the TikTok thing? Well, yeah, but this was not for content. This is personal content. Yeah, no. This is even sadder because we did it just for us. I wish there was a viral video element to what we did. No, no, no, it's pure that way. It's pure.

I had to, I was wearing, okay, so let me know what you think about this. I will. I think my 30s, I'm turning 30. I'm turning 30 in- I'll hold. Please hold, 101 days. Uh huh.

Okay, from the time we're recording this. 101 Dalemations. Uh huh. 101 Dalemations. I say it every day. Anyway, I'm turning 30 in 101 Dalemations. Uh huh. And I've been thinking about my 30s.

Okay? And I'm just pretty much over the moon about it. I'm so excited. Oh good, good. I said this the other day in an episode and some guy commented was like quick turn from not wanting to date someone who's 37 to Being excited for your 30s fuck you loser. There's no I still don't want to date someone 37 just cuz I'm 30. Sorry I'm 37. No worries I did not get comfy. I am so sorry. All right. That's the only thing stopping us from being together.

Is my age. Is your age. Has nothing to do with my pissy. It has nothing to do with your pussy. Has nothing to do with my pussy. No. It's just your age. Just my age. Okay, continue. So sorry. So my 30s. I'm thinking about them. So my 30s, y'all. I'm thinking about my 30s and um Okay, I'm thinking about god. I've got so many things well We can talk about my 30th birthday party if you want to but before that I want to tell you this was what made me think of it. I'm thinking of becoming a Tailored slacks with cowboy boots guy Now how does that?

How does how does that sit with everybody? Tailored slacks so just like a really well cut slack. Yeah, that's gonna have like a little cuff on the bottom. At times? At times, yeah. At times, a really well tailored slack with a takova boot. Uh-huh. What do y'all think? Whoa, okay. Give me a sec. Okay, and just so you know, your response has to be positive. I'm really looking forward to it. I love it. Yeah.

I love it. What can I say, I love it. Do you really? I do, I do. I really think that works for you. I love a good cowboy boot, even though I had a great pair that I left on the red line in Chicago.

I think about them daily. Let me circle back really quick. Yeah. How did you leave your boots on the red line in Chicago. I think about them daily. Let me circle back really quick. Yeah. How did you leave your boots on the red line in Chicago? Sure, sure, sure. I was wearing them to do, I don't know, some sort of dumb little sketch show.

And they weren't broken in, so I put sneakers on. Cause you know, kind of a working girl thing, keep the heels in the bag. So then they were in a separate, I don't know like Julosco bag and I just got off the train and there they went. Julosco? Yeah I said it I went local I could have said Ralph's I could have said Kroger. You shopped local? Always always always always. Julosco man that was a those rotisserie chickens actually saved my life a couple times. Do you ever eat those? Speak on it. Speak.

Sorry, I'm gonna start crying. No, those rotisserie chickens. They're okay. My definitive ranking of rotisserie chickens. No. Costco. A hundred percent. Let's start there. Yeah.

Then what is that? Um, John's. John's. John's in LA. Rotisserie chicken. Baby. I've never had the rotisserie chicken. Maybe $4. Incredible, juicy, wonderful.

So they also have those big buckets with the spigot on them that they use like the taco stands to serve like horchata and stuff. I like to get those when I'm throwing a party to make jungle juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever had my jungle juice? Yes, I've been a victim.

Hey, I didn't spend four years in a fraternity for nothing. I mean, I believe it was your birthday last year. And I was like, I just keep drinking. I'm feeling nothing. And then still kind of felt nothing until the next day. We poured so many people into Ubers that night. Yeah. I made a jungle juice for my birthday party last year, 29,

my LA birthday party that really fucked people up Yeah, yeah, really fucked people up. Are you gonna have an LA 30? I don't know so I have to travel There's a lot of different things. I'm thinking for 30. I thought about doing a museum of Caleb experience So, uh, yes So I invite everyone to a sort of gallery space and I say, dress up, we're gonna have cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. And then all of the pieces would be different paintings and memorabilia about me.

My face would be everywhere. Yeah. And all the little stories next to it would be, I might write some, my friends might guest write some, you might write a thing. Just things about me, things like, you know, on a Sunday afternoon, Caleb loves to take a walk.

And then it's maybe a painting of me, mid-stride. Oh, I love that. You know, and it's just a museum of Caleb, and that's the evening. And okay, so then this is another idea I had. So at the museum of Caleb, everyone comes, no, where's Caleb? Where's Caleb? Where's physical Caleb? Are you not even there?

I'm not there, but you know who is there? Some guy who, some guy who's walking around, some mysterious man with a weird face who's kind of a fucked up face, kind of a fucked up face. And he's walking around and he's going, he's going, tell me your favorite thing about Caleb. Stop it. And tell me, how has this young man impacted your life? And I go, and the guy's saying, and the guy's saying to people, he's saying, you know, it's so beautiful to have a friend like Caleb, isn't it? Stop.

And the whole night they're like, who is, everyone's whispering, who is this weird guy at the Museum of Caleb tonight? And where is Caleb? And then at the end of the night, the weird guy stands up on a podium. Okay, he stands up on a little pedestal. It's me.

Oh! It's me under there. I don't know why I thought you were going to say it's Sean Penn, but it does make sense to be you. That's a way better idea. Fuck, that's a way better idea. Yeah, to have Sean Penn. It's Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane, he just gets his little claws into everything.

He's just in everything. He really is. We can't keep him out of film and television. And stage. Or the stage. Triple threat. Triple threat. Movies, TV, stage.

Classic triple threat. Triple threat. Your birthday party last year, LA Party, I do believe was in a gallery. It was in a gallery. But it was not the Museum of Caleb. It was not the Museum of Caleb and that was a massive Museum of Caleb, and that was a massive misstep. Huge mistake. Well, another thing I wanna do,

and I don't know that I have the time, the money, or the production support. You know how Refinery29 does the 29 rooms? That horrible exhibit where they're like, every room is a different Instagram selfie opportunity. I would maybe do 30 rooms of Caleb. Well, I mean, the size of room does not have to be defined right it could be very small. You're so real This is this is what I've always said about you. You're so real people say that about me all the time

You're real as fuck. Yeah You got it actually I don't like it. Okay. Yeah, I actually don't like it I actually want to apologize for doing it to you earlier because I realize I don't like it You've held a mirror up to me, and I don't like what I see Wait, I have a question for doing it to you earlier because I realize I don't like it. You've held a mirror up to me and I don't like what I see. Wait, I have a question for you. Please. Okay, tell me, I'm wondering about this because I recently had a pretty perfect day.

What is your perfect day? Okay. Like place, people, activities, pace, all of it. Your perfect day. I think I'd be in Kentucky. In Hazard? Hazard or Lexington, I don't know. Hazard, I'll say Hazard.

We're gonna be in Hazard, okay. We're in Hazard. Um, I sleep till I wake up, but I wake up fresh as a daisy at like 8 a.m. Ooh, I love those. Like I feel so rested, but I'm not like, it's not like 10 a.m. and I'm like, ugh, what's going on? Um, I

Go to the cute little coffee shop Shout out hazard coffee company as our coffee company. Shout out y'all. Yeah, feel free to sponsor Um, I get a little coffee and I sit there and maybe I like read or do my New York Times Games there. Yeah Then maybe I like read or do my New York Times games there. Yeah. Um, then maybe I go back home. My lovely girlfriend and partner, Kylie is there. Shout out Kylie. Shout out Kylie. Um, and so it was like my mom and my granny and my sister and we all

just kind of like hang out lazy day. I love that. And I can drink coffee all day without having like negative consequences. I love the taste of coffee. Yeah. But it will give me a panic attack after a certain point. For sure. Yeah. It's unhealthy and bad. Not supposed to be drink in mass.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I would like to. God knows I do it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what's your perfect day.

Uh, why wait? I want to know more about yours. What were you reading at the, if you were reading a book, what kind of book were you reading? Probably Ta-Nehisi Coat, something casual. Yeah. I'm reading The Atlantic. Yeah, no I would just think whatever book I'm reading right now, I'm reading this book called Daryl that's about a cuck so I'd probably be reading fiction. Cuck fiction. Cuck fiction yeah. Fuck okay cool. Yeah I think that's probably what I'd be reading.

I had a pretty perfect day Sunday of this past week. The night before I had married my friends Talked fiction, yeah. Fuck, okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really cool. I think that's probably what I'd be reading. I had a pretty perfect day Sunday of this past week. The night before I had married my friends, so I officiated their wedding. And so there were a bunch of people staying at my house, my aunt, my uncle, my friend Doyle, my friend Katie, a bunch of people staying at my house in Kin City. And we woke up, everyone else woke up before me, but we woke up, I woke up natural, no alarm. No alarm is always the perfect day recipe. That's how it starts.

100%. And I, what did we do? Oh, we went to my favorite bakery and got pastries and coffee. And Holmes joined us. Oh, nice. And then Holmes' parents were out on their morning walk and they happened to stop by as well.

So we ran into them. Running into someone unexpectedly that you're excited to see is always a part of my perfect day recipe. 100%. It's a big part of it. And then after that, me and so some of those people left and then me and some other friends smoked a little weed

and went and got Chinese food for lunch, a Chinese buffet even. And it was Sunday too, so you know they were on it. Yeah. They were fucking cooking and it was all church people in there and someone, some big table people was having a birthday, and the birthday girl walked in while we were eating, and everyone erupted.

And then when her people erupted, we all erupted as well and cheered for her. That was really fun. And then after that, we went on a two hour walk in my favorite park in Kansas City, Loose Park. It's big, beautiful, rolling hills, y'all know. Four Kansas Cityans sitting in the wings, shaking their head. Yeah, really big, beautiful hills and meadows and ponds. It's gorgeous.

And then after that, we went to the town of Kansas Bridge, which is this bridge that goes out onto Berkeley River. It's really pretty. It was a beautiful, it was like 65 degrees all day. Beautiful, smoked some more weed. I was high all day, which I never do Yeah, but it was just felt right and then everyone else had to leave town because they were visiting and then Holmes and I took a joint to the Art Museum lawn the Nelson Atkins and sat on a little hill on a blanket and smoked joints and read our books and chatted And while the Sun set beautiful. Yeah, and then we went and got Vietnamese food. What were you reading? I up there was reading Heartland. It's this writer who wrote, it's called Heartland Being Broken the Richest Country on Earth. Whoa. It's about a, it's a kind of an anthology

of a family in Kansas. It's by this really brilliant writer, Sarah Smarr. She's a Kansas City writer. Shout out Sarah. It's really brilliant. I went to Lawrence, Kansas recently for just like a fun little day to one of my favorite bookstores. And they had a section called What to Read instead of Hillbilly Elegy, Fuck JD Vance. That was the name of the section.

And this book was in there. Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, someone from Eastern Kentucky. There's so many amazing authors to read besides fucking JD Vance, He's not even from there. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't he from like fucking Ohio or something? He's from Southern Ohio, which there is like a, like a storied history of people

going from Eastern Kentucky to Southern Ohio. Yeah. And they called that like highway, like the Hillbilly highway that would take you right there, but he didn't grow up there. His mother didn't grow up there. His grandparents did and he would spend occasional summers in Jackson where Sturgill Simpson is from. Just kind of giving you some geography. We're getting it all in, yeah. And yeah, he's just

a piece of shit who doesn't understand Appalachians. Yeah, he's a freak. What's up guys? It's me, Caleb. November 23rd in Kansas City, Waxahatchee and I are co-hosting a bunch of our friends, comedians and musicians at The Midland. We are doing a benefit show called Yee-Haw to benefit the Tenants Union. Tara's episode is out and she talked a bunch about the Tenants Union. But please, please, please, if you live in Kansas City or nearby Omaha, come on down. Chicago, come on down. November 23rd at The Midland, we're doing a show to benefit the Tenant Union that we're

so excited about it. About me, Waxahachie, a bunch of other fun people that we'll announce. But yes, please come. What do you, well, other than people calling it Appalachia instead of Appalachia or whatever the fuck people say. Appalachia is correct. Appalachia is wrong. Exactly correct. And I know that. For me.

And I know that because I'm friends with you. Yes, that's right. What do you, you're from Kentucky, you're very proud of Kentucky. I am. What do you think people are getting wrong about Appalachia? I think they're getting, they're getting a lot wrong.

Like it's hard to nail it down, but just like any like underserved area, we did not create the problems that we're currently dealing with. We did not own the hills that they took all of our coal from, we had to work on that land, so therefore there's no like ownership there. We didn't have, we weren't able to put that money back into our community. There's a scarcity of bringing like high quality foods down there because it's, the land itself is hard to farm. I mean there's great farmers market, there are great people that have small farms, but it's not flat land. Yeah, I think people are just getting wrong top to bottom. Like it's hard to even say, you know, we mined the coal, we

powered an entire country, and then coal is not clean energy, so we take it away. Now you blame the people who mined all the coal. And it's like, we don't even have the money for it. We just have black long. Yeah. And then you... I mine... it's one of those t-shirts is like I mined the energy for this whole country and all I got was black long. Yes. That's what it should be. The official tea. The official tea. And we need to give that money back to the people who own the mines, you know? Yeah. Yeah, let's ship the merch money up to the mine owners. It's just such a gorgeous place too. It's so beautiful.

It is so beautiful. It's insane. Our accent, I think, is stunning. I wish I still had mine. I kind of actively got rid of it and I regret that. But it's, I don't know. It's just gorgeous. I love it so much.

It is gorgeous. I know. It feels to me like a larger example of like, kind of like what took place in a lot of cities with white flight, like all the moneyed privileged people left the inner city and took all of their resources and their funding and their tax dollars for schools and everything out to the suburbs. And then they turned around and shit on cities

for being like, oh, there's all these inner city urban problems. And it's like created by you. Right. I mean, they really, you know, Appalachia had had early like Scots Irish settlers, but then the coal companies came in, created coal camps, coal towns. The only money that they had was fake money that they could pay back to the coal company. The schools were made by the coal companies and they just forced us into these lines without having anything for ourselves. And it's just, I don't know, it gets so mad.

Yeah, of course, yeah. You do have a very funny story that I'm not, we can cut it if you don't wanna tell it. But your story about the person on the hill in your town who had the cable. Cable? Oh yeah, I mean, I have countless insane stories. Ah! Will you tell that one?

That's one of my favorites. Yeah, of course. So for a long time, the way we got TV, so well, first off, so the geography of Hazard, my hometown, it's like 4,000 people, there are tons of little neighborhoods, similar to like having a burrow in New York. Yeah, very similar.

Very similar. My family lives in Walkertown, just up from the KFC. And when the whole town got new cable, like finally, Walkertown, we were like, we don't trust you because we have a fear of outsiders because everyone just comes in and either like, their land or gives us a bunch of like oxy-cotton to see what it does to the human body.

You know, so it's like kind of like, why wouldn't we trust you? Things have gotten a little weird. Yeah, a little strange. We're a little scared, yeah. Yeah, so for my entire childhood, we paid a woman on the hill What range from like three to eight dollars? I think it started at like three and then got up to eight was the highest ever got

For cable because she negotiated directly with the cable And we only had We only had the channels that that neighborhood wanted. Yeah. So I was one of the few kids, because my mom, single mom, we lived with my grandparents and it was a much older neighborhood. So we didn't have MTV, VH1, we had CNN, ESPN, we did have Nickelodeon. Did you get Hallmark? We eventually got Hallmark. Okay, we got there. Yeah, we did. It took a while. But then eventually that woman died. Her son took over. Turns out he was addicted to drugs and was using the cable money for drugs. So

that'll happen. Yep. And now they are fully incorporated with the rest of the town and they've got every channel you can imagine. The idea of one woman on the hill negotiating with the cable company for the whole town is so fucking funny. She was like, y'all, I got it. She calls him and she's like, no, we don't want that. And everyone just brings- I don't want MTV. Fucking hilarious.

Yeah, I'm not paying for it. I will not. No! No! I don't care. God damn, that's so fucking funny. My grandbabies aren't here enough to watch it. They're not watching it, I don't want it.

So after church on Sundays, we would go to my great granny's house. She lived out in the county, so she was a part of the rest of the world getting TV, and she had MTV and VH1, and my sister and I truly treated it like it was like tutoring, like it was school. We would sit inches from the TV, watching every single video, like taking notes

so we could come in on Monday and be like, did you see that Lisa Loeb video? That's really crazy. Once again, lesbian. The immediate poll being a singer songwriter from the 90s, lesbian. Say that video was great. Yeah. So we were like, truly like, I am being abused. I don't have disney I don't understand what anyone is talking about at school. Yeah, and we would just sit there inches away Well, everyone else was in the other room talking about the end of times and eating chicken. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah

Talking about the end days which are coming. Yes. I mean every sunday it was just like Watching tv and then eventually like we would just stay so long that nothing interesting would be on VH1, which is hard, and the other room just be like, I swear they've got fires up in these mountains I've never seen before. That's Jesus coming back at the end of days. And I would just say they're like so terrified. Yeah, of course. Like, God is coming out at any second. So scared. I got really spun out about weird shit about the afterlife as a kid. Like, it wasn't necessarily being dead that bothered me. I remember very vividly, I had started playing soccer and was like really enjoying it.

Maybe when I was like third or fourth grade. And I was just like sobbing one day. And my mom was like, what? What are you saw? What is going on? And I was like, do we get to play soccer in heaven? And she was like, yeah. She was like, sure, yeah. Whatever.

Whatever gets you to relax. But I just would get so spun out about the rules of the universe. I was like, what is allowed to happen in heaven? What isn't? Cause I didn't understand. I was like, how do we, we're going with our bodies, but people who are disabled don't have that body.

But then if you go to hell, you get no body. I just was like, I could not understand the rules of the universes. Spun me out. Same, same. And then my uncle, my dad's oldest brother was, not from Appalachia, but he was a pastor, a Lutheran pastor.

And I remember one time walking around like a track, I don't know, we were like a family reunion or some shit and we were walking around and I was like you know Uncle Tom like what happens when we died like will I know you will I know my mom will I know this and he was like no you won't know anyone it'll be like pure peace and I was like but I'll miss my mom's like no because you won't have that concept. You'll just be there and I'm like How the fuck do you know that fuck you first of all I know I went home and like actually My granny's Southern Baptist Church is right All of you in glory yeah, I don't need any of this shit. I will walk on clouds with everybody

I love thank you and my pets. Yeah, the pets will be there Yeah, I was terrified of all of it. It was so scary to me. I could not wrap my head around it. And it was perfect for a kid like me who was like pretty anxious and didn't have a lot of control and like home life was not super stable. Like it was all... There was a piece of church that I think I really clung onto

because home life was so unstable. I mean my mom was lovely but like she worked a lot of jobs. We moved a lot like my dad wasn't around. Like it was a little chaotic. And there was a part of church that I think I really latched on to because it offered some clarity and some structure. It was like, if I am good, good things will happen. If I am bad, bad things will happen.

That's all I have to know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then, yeah, the the rules of the situation started to really fuck me up. I was like, that doesn't make sense. I thought we were here for certainty. And then when the preacher will just, at the end, make everyone who sins come to the front, I'm like, fuck off.

Fuck, man. And we lived in walking distance from our church, and I would just lean over and be like, Grany, I got a belly ache. I gotta go up. Grany. I got a belly ache. I can't be a sinner today. Yeah, I've gotta ache. I gotta go up. Queen. I got a belly ache. I can't be a sinner today.

Yeah, I've gotta poop. I gotta go. I gotta poop so bad. I gotta go. And she would just let you skate out? Oh, to a point. And then she like caught on and was like, no one has that many belly aches, Katie.

If it's that bad, we gotta go to the doctor. Katie, you're lying about your belly aches, and I know it. With truth be told, my stomach's always been fine. Yeah, actually, you're like, no, I really do have a fucked up stomach. Yeah, yeah. I'm having Mountain Dew for breakfast, honey.

Ha ha ha ha! I certainly, I was drinking so much fucking soda and so high, my church was just so, I couldn't, I was vibrating all the time. Yeah, yeah. I didn't have a ton of soda except when my dad would. Y'all weren't drinking soda? No, we were, but not a ton.

Huh. Really, I know. Kind of weird. I was. But I had a weekend dad, so when he would pick me up and be like, can I have Surge? And I would immediately...

Surge? Hahaha! I'd immediately get some Surge. I need a Surge bad, brother. Yeah, and then I was just like there at, you know, his house with his new wife and kids and I would just be like vibrating. Yeah like I want more surge. Pulsating. Yeah. So you grew up in Kentucky. Yes I did. And then you go to college in Kentucky. Yes. And then you moved to Chicago. Yes. And then you start

comedy in Chicago. I do yeah. Where's the first but you go to second city first your I oh I went to IO I I really didn't have a plan to do comedy. I wanted to go to I Wanted to go to Chicago and like be a serious actor. Yeah, but I was like well, I'm not like any type that exists right now I'm just kind of a fat 20 something and at the time not really that cool in the world of theater. So I was basically like I'll just take an improv class because I enjoyed improv in college and I got so so lucky. Shout out to the family I nannied for. They paid for my classes. Whoa. Yeah they were like you did not move to the city to nanny our child. We were very lucky to

have you. You moved to the city to do something else. Hmm, that could almost make me cry actually. That's so sweet. They are the best fucking people. So they paid for a lot of my classes. So I did IO and I did all of IO, got on a team there and halfway through IO I started doing Second City, did the Conservatory, and there's nothing after that. That's it. Yeah that's it. And then

eventually, you know, it's just like doing improv everywhere, like constantly. And then you did Boom Chicago in Amsterdam, right? I did do Boom in Amsterdam. So I did a cruise ship for Second City. Yeah. And I had been told I didn't get boom. And then right before I leave for the ship, they reach out and say, we'd actually love to have you. And I'm like, well, I'm about to do a cruise ship and I really can't get out of that contract. And they're like, okay, we'll just come

as soon as you're done. I was like, okay. So then I did a cruise ship for four months. I had two days off, one of those being Thanksgiving. And I then flew to Amsterdam and lived there and worked at Boom for a while. How long? I was only there for three months

because of some issues that were out of my control. I wish I could have stayed longer, but they were having some issues with visas at the time. And I was like, I'm not going to risk not being able to go to Europe again. Yeah. So I... Living in Amsterdam for three months, pretty sweet. It was amazing.

I love Amsterdam. I love Amsterdam and everyone will always talk about like Dutch honesty, which is truly insane, but it's the same as like Appalachian honesty. Like it wasn't that different. Yeah. But like one of my castmates, uh, and our friend got a haircut ER and our Dutch friend, uh, looked at them and said, Oh, that's much better. And they were like, what?

Oh, you, did you think my old hair was bad? And they're like, no, I didn't know it was bad. But now that I see it good, that is better. And it's like, okay. Didn't have to be said, but lovely, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you do that and then go back to Chicago for a while. Of course, now you're in LA.

Yeah, so I go back to Chicago and it was like the day, the day I got back, it was all weird timing. It was like the next day was the second city generals Which was like well, no one gets hired from generals, but you can go and I talked to Mick Napier who runs the annoyance Who's always like a mentor of mine who's from hazard, Kentucky? And I was like what do I need to do like can you give me tips on these auditions and he went just be Funnier than everyone else

Just be a star and It did give me the permission to just like kind of like it's an audition. I need to fucking seen hog I need to like make this work Yeah, got hired toward for them for like a year did a stage for a year And then I got cast and mrs. Fletcher, filmed in New York, and then came here. Yeah, and now you're here. That's my entire life story. That's my whole life story. Well, it's leading into a question I ask a lot of people on this show, I think most everybody,

which is like, what do you want? So you're one of the funniest comedians I know. Oh, thank you. Extremely, like, you've done all the training, you're in LA, you've got your podcast with TN and ER, which is so funny. What do you want? What's the idea? I mean, overall, I want things to just be easy for me and my friends.

I just want things to be easy. But career-wise, like, I've never figured out the internet. Gotta do that. Always thinking I need to be doing that. And to sell the script I just wrote, I think that's really what I want. Which script is this? It's the one about my childhood.

Nice. Yeah. I wanna read it. All right, I'll send it over. Send it to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, that fucking rocks. Yeah, like, I never feel like I'm a comedian and I never feel like I can speak correctly. What's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Voice is absolutely losing here. Oh, yeah, I've never really felt like a comedian, so I'm like, maybe I should do live shows and stuff. I don't know. Well, you are a comedian. Oh. In my opinion, unless you don't want to be one. Fuck. Thank you. Well I mean if you're funny and you make people laugh what else what else what else is it? Who else are you? Who else are you?

A politician? Name something. Name something you are if not a comedian. Um. A mother. A homemaker. I would say first and foremost citizen of this earth. Citizen of this earth and this specifically this country. I'm an American above all else. An American well before I'm a Californian. That is so fucking funny. Wait, we have voicemails from our listeners if you want to hear one.

I would love to. I would love to as well. Let me see which of these, okay, yes. Who knows what these people are gonna say? You never do. So far I'm high The truth I'm wanting to know about is What barbecue do you prefer like do you prefer the wet barbecue or?

the dry barbecue Just get back to me whenever you can on the podcast, obviously. Okay, bye. Okay, loving them. I love them. No introduction, no bullshit. Strictly business.

That's what I want out of a voicemail. Don't fuck around with me. No. Yeah, just do you like wet or dry barbecue? Say no. Yeah. Get back to me. For me, here's what I prefer. Okay. All barbecue should be seasoned and smoked so well Uh-huh. That you don't need sauce. Yeah. The sauce is additive. Uh-huh. I want, I want smoked ribs. I want really fucking good burn-ins. I want incredible, like a delicious jalapeno cheddar sausage. I'm starving. Dude, I'm so hungry. And actually, I'm gonna cry. My mouth

is watering. I know. We should go to Moosecraft sometime. You've been to Moosecraft? No. Best barbecue in LA. Oh, bloodsos is like a close second. I wanna go. Bloodsos, bloodsos resting on their laurels a little bit. I'll say resting on their laurels a little bit. Moosecraft, hungry, young, getting after it. Love that Oh that love that when they're hungry and young and getting after it. That's all one out of everything out of my team hungry Young and getting after it exactly So I want the meat to be so good on its own that you don't need the sauce But I'm using the sauce I'm drizzling some like a thick sweet sauce a thick sweet brown molasses base like a Carolina mustard sauce I'll do it all. What about you?

Here's the thing. The barbecue should be wet somehow. Yes. Is it from the juices coming out, the fat that's melted? Speak on it. Nothing should be dry. Right. No, it should not be dry. It should not be dry. I mean the concept of a dry rub, love. Right. But yes, it should be seasoned so beautifully. I'm going to spit on the mic I'm gonna throw up. I'm so excited about this Is we seasoned so well, I need this so bad But it that also means that like moisture should be there

It's just like you can be the juices from the meat or a sauce situation like fat And then I am gonna drizzle cuz I love so it's oh my god. I'm actually so fucking hungry This is insane. This is crazy. Well somebody see if moosecraft delivers We get some moves craft to the stew Yeah, I do I do I want I want I want a smoked meat what's your favorite Okay, you can only pick one item from a barbecue restaurant the others They all die they die when you pick the one Along with everyone who's ever touched that kind of meat What's your favorite? Okay, you can only pick one item from a barbecue restaurant, the others? They all die?

They die when you pick the one. Along with everyone who's ever touched that kind of meat. Yeah. Burnt ends. Yeah, burnt ends of the ship. Yeah. Burnt ends of the ship. Have you been to Kansas City? Only for like a day.

You gotta come stay with me. Yeah, stay to the 21C. What are we doing? I don't know. What are we doing? I don't know. Why are you and I not at my house in Kansas City? I would prefer that. Why are we doing? I don't know. Why are you and I not at my house in Kansas City? I would prefer that. Why are we not eating burn-ins together? Talking about wet or dry. I'm wet right now thinking about those burn-ins. I'm fucking soaking wet.

We go into like a 1980s like male comic duo. Would love it. I think we would do well in that world too. I think that's also our lane. They're not ready for us. No, they're not. They're not ready for us to do that Do you think you would be the what do you think your catchphrase would be in like a 90s 80s male comic type thing? Okay, eat my ass I don't know. It's the first thing that came to mind. No, that's really good. How about you? Mine? Think again Okay, eat my ass! Think again! It's the first thing that came to me. That's really good. How about you? Mine think again Think again Okay, that works together that works

Really? Let's not bleep those either. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, put that put that out. I like that. Yeah. Yeah Well, Katie, what's so true to you? That Losing weight does not look good on everyone. Oh my god! Baby. I mean, Ozempic is really showing us whose face needs fat to support it.

The fat is structural. It's a load-bearing fat. Yes, exactly. We could not knock down that wall. We could not knock down that wall. We could not knock down that wall. No. You're so right about that. Yeah, I really kinda, I kinda can't. You're so right about that.

I can't, yeah. It's a truth, my face needs it. Oh yeah. I mean, until we find out I go in Menjaro like tomorrow. Yeah. But it needs it. I would look really hot skinny. Well, I think we both would look unbelievably

It would work out for me. Unfortunately. Yeah, it would work out for both of us. We would look good. Yeah We're like the exception. Yeah. Yeah, I would look really good skinny. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, not trying but no I have no plans no plans to become skinny. No plans to become skinny And these best 37 years I've yet to make that plan. No, it's not us. No, it's not us. But if I, should I ever decide to enter that coliseum, I know that I'll walk out my head tall, victorious.

See, I think this is why I don't do stand up, because I know I'd be too good at it. Right. And I don't lose weight, because I know I would be the number one thin. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you can't be the number one thing You'd be too powerful

Were you a thin stand-up comedian the world would tremble. Yeah. Oh my god. We got any update on that barbecue Fuck okay. Well, I gotta go then play the curb your enthusiasm theme song right here Freeze Katie and I right here and play it. Nice. Nice. That'll be fun. You guys are welcome for that. What was I gonna ask you? Okay, so talked about what you want. Talked about you're so true. Yeah. What else is going on with you? What do you see anything good lately? Tell me about you. Hold on. Tell me about you. Okay, well if you want to know what I've seen lately. Yeah, I just started seventh season What is that? Or seven season the season seven? Yeah?

I just started seventh season. I Was like I was like, okay fuck and I started drinking a lot. Yeah. Yeah. I'm drunk on the job. Yeah. No I Casey do you love how I keep moving this? Okay, it's actually not recording was a cucumber. Yeah Yeah, no, I, um, Casey, do you love how I keep moving this? Fine. Okay. Nice, Casey. Actually not recording me. Cool as a cucumber, yeah.

Yeah, all right, fine. Yeah, you, you, we put this episode out, it's solo of me. We've like AI'd all your responses, just to be like, back to you, Caleb. Um, no, I'm currently watching the TNT original, The Closer, starring Kira Sedgwick. Incredible. Thank you. That is in the same vein of a show

that I've rewatched three times. Uh-oh. The FX original, The Shield, Oh, good, very. Starring Michael Chickless. They are in the same. Very same world. Yeah.

Wow, three times. Yeah, I've seen it. Should I watch it? I've seen The Shield three times. No, not really. Okay. Okay, I've seen the shield three times. Should I watch it? No, not really. Okay, I can't recommend The Closer either. Yeah, there's just something about it that I can't get away from, but it's not particularly like, I don't need you to be over there. No, I mean like every episode is Geara Cedric doing a southern accent and her like big character

flaws that she loves eating chocolate. Yeah. And so she'll want sweets and she'll literally go like... And then like she's having a hard time figuring out the case and then like her husband will be like, I got you a water. And then she'll be like, a water. That was it. He was just trying to get water and then he killed that girl.

Fritz I'm gonna go! And then it solves the murder. That's every episode. I love that. I would love to reboot it. I love her and Kevin Bacon. I love the little videos they post. They're as a married couple. And that is them. I'm not wrong.

No they are married and they do make videos. Her and Kevin Bacon will just get online any time of day, any old day, and he's playing guitar and she's just like dancing around in the kitchen. So cute. It's just adorable. I will say any chance my mother gets to say this fact, she will. She'll go, Kevin Bacon, here's Cedric, lost all their money in Birdie Madoff. Did they? Don't know. Did they? I don't know. Did they lose all their money in birdie made off. Did they?

Don't know Did they lose all their money in birdie made off don't know but my mom also the day that like he was caught You know, Bernie made off don't think about him a lot. I do My mom calls me on that day because it is my birthday And she goes they're calling it the new 9-eleven because it is my birthday. And she goes, they're calling it the new 9-11. And I said, what are they calling the new 9-11? To get a call, so Bacon said that he and his wife lost most of their money when Bernie Madoff

notoriously cheated thousands of investors out of billions of dollars. Kevin Bacon said, there's obvious life lessons there. Something's too good to be true. It's too good to be true. Yeah, Kevin Bacon. Yeah. The idea of getting a call on your birthday

that starts with, they're calling it the new 9-11. I remember exactly where I was. That is so funny. Living in Cincinnati, just drove across the Roblin Bridge, gorgeous bridge. Yeah. I turned the corner and I'm like, oh, hey, mom. They're calling it the new 9-Eleven. No clue what she was talking about.

Oh my God, dude. I am completely obsessed with that and also no Rich people lost money. Yeah, it's not the same. They're calling it Start using that 15 15 minute wait at the restaurant. I'm trying to go to They're calling it the new 9-eleven I Absolutely love that I read this Heartland this book. I was talking about earlier that I'm reading There's a line in it where? She the writer as a kid is talking I think her her granny or something and her you know her grandma had a much worse Life than she did yeah, and she's saying some dramatic kind of kid thing about like oh You don't know how hard life is or something.

And I believe it was her grandma, while smoking a cigarette goes, darling, you haven't the foggiest. You haven't the foggiest? It's been trapped in my head since I read it. Oh, my granny says shit like that all the time. Oh my God, the devil's in the detail, the proof's in the pudding.

That dog don't hunt. Yeah, twice on Sundays, et cetera, etc. etc. etc. I could just, those, any kind of like little southern like phrase idiom, maxim, it all, it's all lodges right in here. Oh, it's so beautiful. All hat, no cattle. Oh! All hat, no cattle for somebody who isn't of substance.

I love that. I used to have a phone note of some of these. I wonder if I can find it. Hold on. I feel like I need to find... You got one in there? Yeah. I used to write... Well, there's one I'll have to tell off, Mike, that my granny says. Oh, I'll have no cattle. So I guess I only put two of them in here. But I had the intention... I do this. I start iPhone notes convinced that I'm going gonna keep track of stuff Yep, on June 4th, 2023 at 8 39 p.m

I started a note that's called phrases I love and I put all hat no cattle and I put she thinks he hung the moon To say that you really adore someone. I think he hung the moon. I think that's really pretty. Um, let's see Water's oh like side. Gogglin. That's a good one. Side-gogglin'? Side-gogglin', hold on. Side-gogglin'? Here's the thing, where I'm from, we make up words. Right. Well, my grandpa said once, and I say this all the time,

now, he said, I'm happier than a raccoon on trash day. Ooh, I love that. And that just, I just love that. We were always saying, I'm sweat'm sweating like a whore in church. Oh yeah. Always. Be at Cygoglin, something that's crooked or off-center. It's hotter than a goat's ass in a pepper patch?

That's hot. That's another one? That is hot. That's hot. Uh, ain't no hill for a climber? Don't know. Hahaha! What does that mean? I don't know, just googled some stuff.

I just googled some stuff. Ain't no hill for a climber. Ain't no hill for a climber. Ever heard of it? Okay. They're calling it the new 9-11. They're calling it the new 9-11 is actually going to be so... I can just feel... you know when something formative happens to you? Hearing that, I'm like this is a pivotal thing that occurred to me. They're calling it the new 9-eleven. I

Love that. Mm-hmm. Can you have a segment for you? Okay, great. Here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna read you 15 statements. Okay, okay on my handy clipboard right there You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can don't go over here Don't you you're gonna tell me if I can see it? Don't look over here. Don't cheat. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can. There's something, if I can see it, it's not cheating, cause it's just in my... It's cheating, hon. Okay. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can after each one. Speed is of the essence.

If you think it's true or false, if you get ten or more correct, we're gonna give you fifty US dollars. Okay. Basketball was invented in 1945. False. False. 1891. Thomas Jefferson is on the $2 bill false

true snapchats owned by coca-cola false false it's not skydiving is illegal in Sweden false false the space between your eyebrows is called your crockridge false globella Katie short Thompson is the current president of Northern Kentucky University. False. True. I went there. I went there. The Earth's moon is larger than Mars. True. False. A dog was the mayor of Cormorant, Minnesota, for four consecutive terms. True. True.

There are only two countries in the world that use the color purple in their flag. True. True. There are more bourbon in the world that use the color purple in their flag. True. True. There are more bourbon barrels than people in the state of Kentucky. True. True. 90% of the world's population lives in the southern hemisphere. True.

False. Northern. There are more McDonald's locations in the U.S. than there are public libraries. True. False. Uma Thurman dropped out of high school. True. True.

All right. Twinkies only have a shelf life of 45 days. False. True. Chicago's Green Line train goes to O'Hare Airport. False. False. It's the Blue Line.

Yeah, duh. How'd she do? Oh, Shug. I'm so close. Oh, Shug. Don't worry. You have value in other things. This is the new 9-11.

It doesn't have to be this. They're calling it the new 9-11. They are calling it the new 9-11. They are calling it the new 9-11. They are calling it the new 9-11. What would you, if you could be one person who isn't you for a day, who would it be? And by the way, whoever you pick, everyone else? Oh, well that's hard because my pick was going to be, I guess I would be Cherry Jones. I was going to say be Cherry Jones' wife.

Oh nice. Yeah. It would be fun to be Cherry Jones's wife oh nice yeah it would be fun to be Cherry Jones's wife yeah I'd love to be like a ranch hand that works under Cherry Jones somewhere like in this world Cherry Jones owns a ranch yeah and I'm like just a just a boy in town for the summer who rolled through ran out of ran out of gas on the highway got to make some money to get on my way back west. And now I gotta work on Cherry's farm for the summer. Oh, yo, yo, what's gonna happen? I'm sure we'll learn a lot about farming, but we might along the way learn a little

about ourselves as well. And love. And love. A lot about living. A little about love. A little about love. You know what? I feel like we could go toe toto-toe on 90s country like nobody else god I had some friends in the car the other day. We did a little road trip and I played now Okay, we all said we were Alan Jackson fans. Yeah, who is it? Right? So I start playing my favorite Alan Jackson songs

I play a little a little man. Uh-huh. It killed the little man, you know, I played little bitty I played Yeah They told me I was playing all the sad ones they're like we don't know these ones I was like, oh little bitty's not sad No, I think that was one they did know I'm trying to think of the other ones I played that they didn't like the little man What's the other one that's like He's like, he's like, Small Town Southern Man. Small Town Southern Man was one that I played that they were like, this one's kind of sad. I didn't think it was sad, I just thought it was slower. You know Small Town Southern Man?

I don't know if I do. Natural way of life if you're lucky for a small town southern man. Gorgeous voice. You. Gorgeous voice. Me? Do you think I have a pretty singing voice? I have a pretty singing voice. They're calling it the new 9-eleven. They're calling it the new 9-eleven. Katie just mocked me in my voice. They're calling it the new 9-eleven.

This might be the most times I've said 9-eleven the show. Well, next guest, see if you can beat it. Without kind of telling them, just see how many times you can bring it up. Our next guest today is a tenant organizer. Bigger challenge. Bigger challenge. A bigger challenge. Tell me a little bit, 9-11, about your work. Just try to sneak it in subliminally wherever I can.

Well, actually, 9-11, I... Oh my God. You know what just happened to me? What? Yesterday. I'm on an airplane. I can't believe I'm just remembering this. I've been wanting to air this one out. Okay, tell me. Yesterday, me and my friend, me and two of my friends are flying from Kansas City to LA. Okay. Okay, this City to LA. Okay.

Okay, this is yesterday afternoon. Okay. One of my friends has a seat in economy, no worries, God bless her. And me and my other friend are both in first, but she was only able to get the far window seat and I was only able to get the other far window seat in row one, right? So there's two aisle seats between us and then the aisle. Well, I'm getting on there. I've never in my life had someone if someone asked me to move

seats and it's in the same section, I always do it whether I'm giving up my window or my aisle or whatever. And I've always only had people say yes. Yeah, I've never thought that was a problem. Well, I so my friends like, will you ask someone to switch so we can sit next to each other? And I go, of course, we're gonna sit next to each other and chat on the flight. I get on, I turn to the guy next to her and I go, Hey, would you mind taking my window seat so I could just sit next to each other and chat on the flight. I get on, I turn to the guy next to her and I go, hey would you mind taking my window seat so I could just sit next to my buddy? And he goes, I really like the aisle man. And I was like, technically that's your right, but you're a fucking loser. Like I'm sorry, but I couldn't believe it. I was like, fuck off if you're not willing to make yourself a

little uncomfortable for a two-hour flight for someone else's comfort. It's first class by the way There's not a fucking difference. I'm gonna take the middle seat now. There's no middle seat should I couldn't believe and then so I go I go. Okay. No worries. Of course. Thank you. That's yeah, that's your right I go to my seat the guy next to me I go would you mind switching with my friend over there so she could come sit by me? We just want to sit next to each other on the fight and he goes I Don't I just want wanna stay where I am. And I go, okay, yeah, totally.

I'm like, this is technically your right. Technically we don't have to be part of a society or a community. Yeah, you can keep your seat if you want to, I guess. I'm losing faith in humanity. I turn to the two people behind me. I go, are you guys traveling together? They go, no, they don't know each other. And I go, would you guys mind swapping me and my friend so we could sit back here?

Stop it, stop it. And and they go we like to have the storage in front of us and you're in the front row so we I we just we can't sorry and I was like you are fucking kidding me I walk around this world thinking that people are generally good no they're not and you're telling me for goddamn people can't give up their special idea of a seat by the way not a long-haul flight to Australia no two and half hours. I couldn't believe it. I know who they're voting for. Just on that behavior. Baby, baby Jill Stein. They we so me and Katie take our seats and we were saying that my friend. Not me by the way. Not you by the

way. We take our seats and I just look over and I go, I don't think it's gonna happen for us. Everyone's in love with their seat. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! And every single person who said no kind of pretended they didn't hear it. They heard it.

I was pissed. I was like, this is fucking insane. Just because you have the right to say no is like, what is your problem? I have said yes to people for that every single time someone's asked. Yeah. Then the old guy next to me reading his book for a little bit who had said no.

And to be in his defense, I do think he was a little confused by the question at first. And then maybe me saying that he understood who my friend was and where he'd have to sit. He's reading his book for a little bit after I say that. And I'm texting Katie. I'm like, these people fucking suck. I can't believe this. He can't see my phone. I made sure. He's reading his book and then he just goes, okay, I'll do it. He was really sweet. He was really sweet. I think he was confused at first and so that's why I wasn't,

I was like, okay, we'll see. And then he switched seats and then there was this really sweet moment. So mind you, I had lost all faith in humanity during this time. Yeah. And Katie comes and sits by me. We chat the whole flight, have a lovely time.

And then we land and as soon as we're like getting our bags and stuff, I lean over to the old guy and I was like hey thank you again so much that was so nice to sit with my friend and he goes it was awesome I think I might prefer the window now I got a lot of pictures and that man was Tim Walz. That man was Tim Walz. That man was Santa Claus. Can you I mean he just hadn't tried the window and he likes it because he got a lot of pictures I was like you're the sweetest person I've ever encountered. I love that. He just hadn't tried the window and he likes it because he got a lot of pictures. I was like, you're the sweetest person I've ever encountered. I love that.

And to think, mere two and a half hours ago, I was ready to have you killed. Yeah. You went on quite the journey. I did. I learned a lot about myself in that moment on that little plane. And about people. And about people. I mean, I do think there's a lot of things that like I think society has deteriorated

So much in the last like five years. Yeah, the social contract is like rapidly evaporating And people just cuz you can do something you're allowed to keep your ILC But guess what if two people you're sitting next to a stranger and they want to sit next to their friend I think you have a social obligation to change your fucking seat Yeah, unless you're disabled or something and you need that, like you should have a pretty overwhelming reason. It shouldn't just be like, well, this is my favorite thing. Yeah, unless you're saying like I had a premonition that I will only stay alive on this plane

if I sit in this seat. And even then that's not real. That's not real. So change that fucking seat. Yeah. I just can't, I don't understand. There's people that do this shit all the time. Yeah.

They're so like obsessed with their own little thing. They won't do anything for someone else. It makes me feel insane Don't get me started on Chase Bank. Oh Don't get me started on my experience at Chase Bank the other day. Oh No, I walk in there a couple things I need to do seven people working Woman comes over I left cuz I walk in there's people working. I wait I stand at the tellers window for like price Genuinely, I'm not exaggerating 12 minutes. No one's helping me and I wait, I stand at the teller's window for like, genuinely, I'm not exaggerating, 12 minutes.

No one's helping me. And I go, okay, I've got some other stuff to do in the neighborhood. So I walk out, go get a coffee, run and print something at FedEx, and then come back. And one of the people goes, I'm so sorry, I saw you left. We were just like really busy.

I was like, oh my God, no worries. I figured you guys were just busy. Can I get some help with, I need to deposit this check, move some money, take some money out. She goes, you can actually do all that on our kiosk No, that's not what I asked They're calling it the new 9-eleven I Can do all that on the kiosk? You know what else I could do walk outside and step in front of a moving truck

Yeah, I don't want to do it on the kiosk. I hate the kiosk. I Hate the kiosk. I want to talk to somebody. I know you look like you're about to cry. I want to! There's like four different things I need to do in here. I don't want to be fucking clicking around on a kiosk. Also, seven of you are working. Does no one want to chit chat with me? You're a delight! No one wants to chit chat with me. Are you kidding me? I want to have a nice little... I couldn't believe it. That's so fucked. The kiosk situation is out of control. I don't want to talk to robots anymore. No, oh, don't get me started on it. I'm starting it.

I'm starting it, go. It's the new 9-11. It's... Ha ha ha ha ha! Dude, it really, it bums me out. I don't want to talk to the kiosk. And it's not some weirdo, like puritanical old guy thing about you're at work, you should help me.

It's not like I want you to do your job with me. It's like the kiosk is we're removing all of these small beautiful interactions from our lives until we're just not going to talk to anybody. So during the pandemic, sorry I'm going there, during the pandemic I drove across the country a couple times and one time I stopped in Kansas City and I stayed at the 21C and it had just been so long since I'd had those little interactions that I nearly cried. I got up to my room and I called my sister right away and I was like, the woman at the front desk, her husband is a vet. He has a dog.

That dog is a pitbull, but it is a service animal and their landlord's giving them a bunch of shit. And they're thinking about fostering children. Like just went through every detail of this woman's life and I had so much joy. Those interactions are everything to me. They're absolutely everything. And my concern is that a lot of people came out

of the pandemic feeling like it was a good thing that we didn't have them for a while. Fuck off. It's making me feel distant from those people and crazy because I'm like, I felt like dying the whole time because I wanted those things back so badly. Yeah, I want a man staying next to me at Walmart while I'm getting like sandpaper to tell me

about how his daughter was murdered. Yeah. That really happened. Yes. Tell me about that. I was at Walmart and I was buying sandpaper because I had just, you know, got a piece of furniture from the street. And this man was next to me.

He's like, oh, they don't give me a lot of options because at Walmart, not really a place where you get sandpaper, not a ton. Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah. He's like, what are you doing? It was like redoing this desk I found. He's like, I wish my daughter could do that. Yeah. He was like, he's like, yeah, I doing? It was like redoing this desk I found. He's like, I wish my daughter could do that. Yeah. He was like, he's like, yeah, I'm just, uh, we're actually redoing our kitchen.

Um, money kind of came through and so I'm like, okay, I know where I am. Someone's had some sort of accident and finally got paid from the government. Classic. Yeah. We've all been there. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, no, yeah, no the the state settled with us After they mishandled my daughter's

After they mishandled my daughter's murder So I'll never have her back, but you know my wife's like well might as well And you know you know where that story would never happen? The kiosk at Chase Bank. Thank you! Because the kiosk doesn't have a daughter to get murdered. That's right, that's right. It was, and then I'm like walking around the rest of Walmart,

immediately call my sister as I often do, and I'm like, I just talked to this man. And then he like passes through and is like, have a good day! And I was like He killed his daughter what's going on Oh my god, not the new kitchen from the daughter's murder. Yeah, my mom has always told me that my Third eye is a bit too open because people just tell me shit you and I have this in common Yeah, this is one of our big things. Yeah. People will tell me

in a room of a thousand strangers, somebody will find their way through all of them to me to tell me something crazy. Yeah. There's something about it. I like, I briefly worked at an opera company and I did like education stuff, but I was at one of our like big donor events and our director of development was like, okay, so you can talk to her. She uses the same plastic surgeon as her, blah, blah, blah. I didn't have to say anything. They were just like, what a charming little country girl. And they would just come over and just spill all these secrets about their husband, their mistress. And I would just be like, great, would you like to make a donation? Yeah, sounds good. We need money for the opera. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you have that. Nobody's going. Yeah, people aren't coming. Yeah, thank you. We need money for the opera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you have that. I don't know if you have this, nobody's going.

Yeah, people aren't coming. Yeah, thank you. We need money now. Yeah, but no, I was like, there was a part of me in like another life, I'm like, do I work in development and just have rich people just tell me secrets and then I just ask for money?

I went on a date with a guy recently who did that. Oh really? He was like the, his job, somebody, he was, his job was like, he was the financial researcher for an opera. An opera and there's something else in that group. But his job was like research rich people and figure out who could donate what amounts of money. I love that. Yeah, he was cool.

Time for me to do a pivot to that. He was, pivot time. Pivot time back to your roots. to that. He was, pivot time. Ooh! Pivot time, back to your roots. Yeah. That'd be fun. Yeah. I'd love to work at an opera.

I had a great time. I really loved it. We, because you know, famously, most people take education out of the schools, as did Cincinnati, Ohio, so we would bring opera into the classroom. And it was so fun. That's beautiful.

Yeah, it was great. Everything started going downhill and they took God out of the schools. I've always speak on it. That's the new 9 11 taking God. Katie, it's been a delight to have this episode will not be released. This will not be put out. This will not be put out. Will you please tell people where to find you? Yeah, I Am on instagram at this is katie kershaw Um for some reason I think my tiktok is katie new shoes, but I couldn't tell you not on there a lot Um, and so head over there y'all Find me. Um, and then I hosted podcasts with two of my best friends tn tran and er fight master

At jocular pod at Jockular Pod. At Jockular Pod. At Jockular Pod. Three icons, I love that. Thank you so much for being on. Thank you so much for having me. Are you kidding me? I love you.

I'm starving, I love you. I'm actually starving. Yeah. We've gotta figure something out about my starving before the day continues. Yeah, yeah. Let's figure out something about our starving together. I love you.

I love you more. That was a hate gum podcast.