So True with Caleb Hearon - Laura Peek Wants to Collab

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Welcome back! This week’s guest is the hilarious Laura Peek! Laura and Caleb talk marriage, playing with people's emotions, social media comments, and their mutual love for a certain country singer. We are on TOUR! Come see So True LIVE in a city near you! Dates/Tickets can be found here: https://www.livenation.com/artist/K8vZ917qN1f/so-true-with-caleb-hearon-events Join our Patreon for an exclusive extended interview with Laura and other bonus content! https://patreon.com/SoTruePodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink  Follow Laura! @laurapeekcomedy Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Go to hims.com/SOTRUE for your personalized ED treatment options.Head to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE Indulge in affordable luxury.  Go to Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.There’s no replacement for human connection. Better with people. Better with Alma. Visit helloalma.com/SOTRUE to get started and schedule a free consultation today.Book now at Booking.com ! Get 20% off your Panera You Pick Two order on DoorDash with code TRUELUNCH. March 3 through March 12. Terms apply. For full terms go to the Panera store page on DoorDash. About Headgum: Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com. » SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1  » FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum  » FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/ » FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Get the Angel Reese special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Bada ba ba ba.

I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. We gotta have fun. Someone referred to my birthday party as, I can't remember the exact wording, but somebody said, it felt like the kind of party that you can only have right before freedom ends. Hahahaha! I am walking around my house, 100% of the time, saying, I'll shoot you with a gun. I say it so much. That one really caught on

Huh something I'm liking that something happened. Well, it was just like the simplest like well, we're violent. Yeah getting violent We're a violent people. Yes Humans humans are a violent species. They're like shoot somebody with a gun. Yeah Oh, I love that. I don't mind if I do what a nasty little what a nasty little thing for me to say and for people To enjoy well all I do all What a nasty little thing for me to say and for people to enjoy. Well, all I do all day is just feel like the worst, you know, just people saying the worst possible things to you all day every day. And you're like, you're trying to be, you're trying to be like creative and clever, getting

back to them, or you're trying to convince yourself that it like doesn't bother you. I'll shoot you with a gun. Yeah. Pretty much cuts through it. Unimpeachable. Pretty much unimpeakable. You should use that. I'm unpeakable. Ow!

Bum-ba-dum-ba-dum-bum-bum-bum! She's unpeakable. Ow! I really like that. Dude, the Coyote Ugly soundtrack? Let's talk about that. It goes hard. It goes really hard. Let's finally get into that.

Let's talk about that! Honey! It goes so hard. Under the night sky Gonna be with you And no one's gonna be around Oh! Coyote Ugly!

Leanne Rhimes Oh my god, I miss her Where is she at? Leanne Rhimes Leanne, girl! Where are you what she did on the coyote ugly soundtrack? Go 100% we're getting there at exactly the same time.'s gonna beat me by a millisecond. Her fucking boot into that. Hugusy. She put her hugusy into that.

Her coyote, her coyote uggusy. Just a beautiful gentleman from the wild west. Her coyousy ugly into that soundtrack. Leanne Roimes. Leanne Roimes, where are you girl? Leanne Roimes. Hold on, let's get a clean one of both of us saying it. that soundtrack. Leanne Roimes! Leanne Roimes! Where are you girl? Leanne Roimes! Hold on, let's get a clean one of both of us saying it.

One, two, three. Leanne Roimes! I mean, cause who's talking about it? Do you remember, so you're a little country girl like me. Do you remember, um, what was her name? Trisha Yearwood? Do I remember Trisha Yearwood?

Okay, massively important to me as a child. I remember in first grade they made us, they were like, what's your favorite musical artist? And they would like write it down for us. We couldn't write yet. We were stupid. Yeah. Now you know her and Garth Brooks cheated. Yes, dude.

I now know all about all the lore. And I was obsessed with her and my mom was too. On a bus to St. Cloud, Minnesota. Do you remember that? They cheated. They were cheaters. How do you feel about cheating? I love it. You and your husband closed? Totally cheated. They were cheaters. How do you feel about cheating? I love it.

You and your husband closed? Totally closed. Closed? Tight. Yeah, you're randomly very conservative. I'm really far right. I'm really far right. I hope to be your most far right guess.

And you got your husband. Well, famously now I, okay, I don't want to get into bisexuality with you because I know how you feel about it. No, it's not true, Laura. It's not true! You know what? I've heard everything. You've heard wrong.

I want to tell you, and bisexual, can I say something about bisexual? Please. It is real. Yes! It is valid. I love it. I love hearing about it. I believe in it.

Leanne Royves! Leanne Royves? I love bi! Okay, but I. So what is your. So I used to, I used to, I used to pork a lot of women back in the day. Yeah, wound up with a man though.

And wound up with a man. Which is part of it. It's like 100% of the thing, isn't it? That eventually I do. But you're not allowed to say that. I'm finally cleared to talk about this publicly and I'm excited about it. But I did have like a dream about having sex with a woman

like a few months ago. and I woke up from it and I was just like, you know what, I'm just gonna do, I'm just gonna ask, just gonna ask. And I was like, would you mind if I did that sometimes? And he was like, oh, you mean have affairs with women? And I said, mm-hmm. No worries, no worries. And he said a sentence to me

that I'm never gonna forget. He goes, the fact that you don't think that's cheating is homophobic I'm loving him. He's so smart. I'm loving he's so smart. It's the most big brain shit. I've ever heard in my entire life I've been trying listen I'm not running bits on you, but I've been throwing it on stage and sometimes it doesn't hit and I'm like you don't hurt He had to teach me that women are people on stage and sometimes it doesn't hit and I'm like you don't know he had to teach me that women are people

I'm falling asleep. I'm like boobs, but he's like those women have personal history You don't mind if I fuck a couple of these absolute Feelings are just collateral damage in my fuck quest you don't mind do you? Know that you don't mind. He said hey, honey You're actually not coming for more than just hits and curves my friend. Those are human beings He's so right yeah, he's too smart. He's too smart. That's the thing Yeah, pulling over on this it was brave of you to tell that story cuz you come off really bad in it Yeah, yeah, I'm a hundred percent. I I'm 100% the bad guy and I'm straight Straight is first ever conservative straight villain. Yeah, I say your straight husband

Has to teach you about women having feelings and agency agency He's like you don't get to just go have sex with he was He was like, that's a choice they're making. They have personalities. Yeah, they have personalities. So I hadn't considered that women have personalities. Have you thought about that ever? Whoa. It was news to me. No, opposite.

I only consider women as having personalities. When I find out they have sexual desires, I'm like, whoa. They're just kind of an amorphous mist to you that have a lot of opinions, no physicality. Women to me are a warm, glowing light in the corner of every room They they guide me through this dark time we call existence But always the corner though, but then when I find out they have a physical body that has sexual desires I go We and wrong

And you know a woman with a physical body. She has a physical body. Hachacha! Does she ever? Hachimachi! Yeah, need her. I was lusting after Leanne Roymes. Lusting after who? I need her, like, water. Leanne Roymes!

Don't say her name normal in here. Leanne Roymes! You know, Leanne Rimes. You even did it then. You went Roims. She did something so special with the Coyote Ugly soundtrack. I mean, I'm really impressed with that for years. I'm not off it.

Yeah, I shouldn't be. I can't fight the moonlight. And I won't even try. I tried when I was younger. I tried to fight the moonlight. And guess what? Didn't take. Also, that woman was like 12 when she was younger. I tried to fight the moonlight. And guess what? Didn't take. Also, that woman was like 12 when she made that.

She was so young for so long. She was deep into her 20s, I think. Was she really? Yeah. Why is she like a cherubic? Why is she perpetually like 19 to me? I have no idea. Huh.

That's because I don't care about women and their stories. You don't like women. I'm kind of glad you ended up with a man. Because you seem to have a lot of reverence for him. He's a doll. I fear what you might have done to a lesbian. To a sweet, good lesbian. I don't know. I think it was never meant to be.

How did you end up with a guy anyhow? Well... Somebody with your countenance? Somebody with your whole situation? You ended up with a guy. This is not the first I've thought about it. No. I've known him since I was 15 years old. Oh, boo.

I know. Doesn't suck. We started dating at 25, but we were good friends for like 10 years. Nice. Good friends like, had you ever? I was just pining. You were pining for him?

I was pining for years. Really? I was pining for him. And was he pining? No. No. He was not pining. He. I was pining for years. I was pining for him. Really? And was he pining? No. No! He was not pining. He didn't seem to be.

And I, I mean, I think about it all the time, but like, I truly was like, I will just never tell him if it means that he'll be my friend, cause I love him. And then, and then one time we got really drunk and he was like, you wanna fuck? And I was like, yeah. And then it's been great ever since.

Hold on. Hold on, Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Wait a fucking second.

Really quick. Hold on. You guys are friends at 15. 15, yeah. For 10 years. 10 years. You take the coward's way out. That's right.

Well, it was about four years, I would say, of me being in love with him. We went to the University of Tennessee Knoxville years. You take the coward's way out. That's right. Well, it was about four years, I would say, of me being in love with him. We went to the University of Tennessee Knoxville together. I really fell in love with him. Go Vols. Yes. Go Vols forever. And you, for four years, you carry a flame for this young man.

That's right. And you say nothing of it. Nothing. Because you think being a heartbroken friend is better than being, you know, excommunicated for my deep feelings. Yeah, I get it. Like being down bad was better in some way. Being down bad was better than being out for good.

Being up for Jesus. Girl, false. And so then you make no moves. I make no moves. You exist as a coward for four years. I'm total coward. Also, by the way, dating other people, people pretending to love other but was just like absolutely head over heels pretending to love other people Yeah, most of them

men or women So you are playing with the emotions of several women While you wait for this man to what see you in the right light or something I was already where I have like some blush on And then you still say nothing You both get drunk, which is inappropriate of course in college especially and then you what he says should we fuck He's a nice a fuck. That was certainly the subtext. Yeah, he just kind of looked upon me I'll do it

You're him and the cameras you that does not To me that doesn't end in sex Yeah, you go you go no he said it with his eyes. And he's doing like the freeze frame from a Debbie Downer sketch. That is cute. He absolutely did not say do you want to fuck. But it was like, I feel a certain level of attraction all of a sudden I said me too darling. He said that?

It was something, it really was something along the lines of- You're not painting him in any clear or good light. He, okay, I, I, I- I feel a certain level of attraction. He's a cyborg. Sounds good, Jeffrey Dahmer. He's a cyborg. Yeah, what the fuck?

Something has aroused me suddenly. Uh, Laura, I hate to alarm thee, but I've just been overcome by an emotion that is quite foreign to one No, he said something that at the time sounded romantic But I don't remember was and then it would just broke down this barrier and we've been together ever since nice I know Did you ever when you were still going on dates with people some of us are still in hell? Yes Did you ever like after a really good first date be like? I'm gonna remember everything about this because it's the beginning of a big story. Yeah, actually you ever do that. Yeah. Yes

Yes, I have be like be like yeah It's important that I remember what corner we kissed at because that's gonna be the corner We have to take our wedding where he's gonna get yeah where. Where he's gonna propose, and this is such a, it's odd it's a corner because it's a real turning point in my life. Yeah, I would romanticize. You're romantic, you're a romantic. I do that with everybody. I am a romantic.

You are. Are you? Yeah. Nice. I think. Just for this one guy though. Yeah, I don't know, I'm pretty locked in. Except for wanting to have sex with lesbians or whatever.

Well, by the way, can I say both of you are homophobic? Because you are homophobic because you fail to consider women have personhood. And he's homophobic because he's not going to allow you to sleep with women. I did. I did talk to him about it. I do think I married the one straight man in the world who's like, no, that doesn't really appeal to me in any way.

You know what I mean? He's like, he can't even be like, hot. Why don't you say yes and then stroke off about it, freak. Yes, stroke off, stroke off. Not yet, sorry. Stroke off about it, you little freak. Why don't you say yes and then jerk your shit, thinking about it, you fucking psychopath. Something's arisen in my loins. Yeah.

You are a romantic though. I am. Are you like, are you, are you, you're not like a serial dater, are you? Are you in relationships often? I am a... I am a many times scorned lover boy. I was sent to Earth. I was sent to Earth.

I was sent to Earth. I was sent to Earth. I am a many times scorned lover boy. I was sent to earth. Here's what I think. Here's what I think. I think I was an angel in heaven. I think you're still that. I think God created me and I was an angel in heaven. And then I fell from grace through circumstances that were not my own fault.

100%. And I ended up behaving devilishly. And then God said, to teach you a lesson, I'm going to send you to earth with so much love to give. And you are going to encounter the type of gay men who are sent from the devil. Who make you hate yourself. To scorch the earth. And so I'm a crestfallen lover boy.

Oh, that's beautiful. Sent down from heaven to partake in a punishment. Yeah. And that's what's my dating life. Any time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm a quest fallen lover boy. And that's what's my love life. I'm a quest fallen lover boy. That's beautiful.

I'm a fallen from grace lover boy forced to mingle with these heathens. Yes, and he said, I'm gonna give you more love than you've ever known, than anyone's ever known what to do with. Yeah, and he said, by the way, I'm not gonna send you back to earth during a time when gay men were pining for each other

in silence and sharing beds at war and writing each other letters when they're kissing maybe once at the end of their lives. I'm not going to give you that. I'm going to send you to a time that has an application called Grindr. And you're going to have to be on it. You're going to be on it. You're going to have to be on it. And you're going to be receiving taps and you're going to be sending taps.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. And you're going to be sleeping with guys who you may not even like. No, as people and they don't like you either. And you, some of them you will know their name and some of them you will not. That's so true. I'm a crestfallen lover boy. You're a crestfallen lover boy in the wrong time of gayness. In the wrong time of gayness. In the wrong era of in the wrong era of game I was meant to be persecuted. I Was I'm not gonna lie to you when the idea of gay persecution which is like really palpable right now I'm gonna be really good at being persecuted. I believe that I believe that what do you think your Strong responses are gonna be well. I'm gonna go down with this shit. Yeah

And what did she say right there, I won't porcupine up and remember and surrender and remember I won't porcupine up No No white flag above my door. Leanne Rhimes? She's in love. She's on the beat. Look! If they persecute gay people, I'm going down with the ship. 100%. I know gay people who, when it comes, they will pretend that they have become straight

again. They'll go back in the closet, you think? They'll definitely. I can already see some people hedging some bets. Really, really, really. Oh yeah. Cowards oh yeah cowards all Cowards all they will they will bury me as a game. Oh my good for you for that They will take me down you really see that though when when the when the going gets tough

You're like I see some of my folks going back in first sure yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure which you know I don't mean I can't blame people I can okay you can you absolutely Know when things get bad for gay again Probably what this summer or fall? I think we're close Maybe a cool eight months out getting bad for gay again soon and when they do I'm going down with the ship good for you they're gonna say they're gonna they're gonna give everyone a chance I bet they're gonna say if you want to repent and go to straight come on over I'll go no no I gay kill me you'll have to kill me before I not kill me no I'm all in on gay. I'm so happy that that's the key. I'm all in on gay. Also, I do love you.

I am all in on gay. This is me, table full of chips. I'm in on gay. Okay? Run it. 52 black. Spin the fucking thing. I'm in on gay.

I'm in on gay. That's so beautiful, and true. And I love that you gave a realistic timeline. Yeah. Some people are out here being like, we've got like a year and a half. I'm like, I don't know. By the time the leaves change again, it'll be bad for gay. By the time we reach May, bad for gay. Bad for gay.

And guess what I'll be doing? Dancing with my friends right up until they take me away. I'll be dancing with my friends when they put the cuffs on. They had to round Caleb up. He was having the time of his life. The time of his life. I'll be smoking a joint at dinner with my friends when they cuff me.

There will be no white flag above my door. They're pulling me out of the Chili's. It's the Chili's, thank god. Thank god. They're taking Gay out of the Chili's The last place they come they'll get they'll have got they'll have gathered all the other gays And they'll say where are the fat ones? They'll say where are the fat ones cuz we'll need to send extra team And when they come for gay at Chili's it'll be me and 17 lesbians

They'll take a whole team. They'll have to use trank darts Yep, so many drinks on the table that are blue. Yeah, you know the ends of like a fishbowl situation They we guys yeah, thank me. I'll pass out in a skillet case. Oh We'll have to drag me out of there, but God will I have lived? I'm going down with it sister. I couldn't be proud.der. What will you do in the revolution? Hmm? I? Love listen What's your will you be what's your role in the revolution? I? Here's my goal for this year say it I Don't want to I never want to try to lose weight ever get in my life

What I do want to do is have jacked arms. Okay, that's my goal for the next six months. I wanna get traps, and I wanna get really good definition in my arms, and that's scary. When you see a lady with a tank top on and like that, and then I'll go back to Tennessee and get the guns that I have there. And I'll do what I can for my people out here. I'll travel across state lines,

and I'll come and stand in the resistance, I guess. Or I'll be at Chili's with you Yeah, I'm not really gonna take up arms I'll let them take me from Chili's I'm not really gonna get a weapon I'm like, I don't want to go down in a fight. Just like take me to the camp or whatever It's so it's so funny that like everybody's dream of armed resist. It's like that's so funny. All my friends in the South, I'm like, you're done. Yeah.

You're bored. There's nothing, there's nothing you can do. Don't you don't have to have a handgun. Yeah. I kind of want one now. I don't know what it is. Something's something's happening in me. Well, I could tell you what it is if you want me to. Please.

It's a, yeah, it's an understanding of the moment that we're in. I'm so scary. What am I going to do with it? Can I say something? Yes. I feel happier than ever. Oh my god. Do you really I really do okay? Something is happening Tell me tell me if this is how you feel Yeah Cuz I've been experiencing the same thing where I've been experiencing like sort of an unbridled joy that I haven't had in a long

Yes, and I think it's like I think it's like a big time like, fuck it! Like, I'm not trying to fix myself anymore, that's insane. I'm just like gonna have a good time with my buddies. The masks are off? Yes! Okay, there's clans, there's clan meetings in the town squares? Everywhere, everywhere. Everyone's a Nazi?

Yeah. Elon Musk is in charge of the treasury or something? He's got my social security number, he's... Hey! R.F.K. doesn't believe in vaccines, we're gonna have charge of the Treasury or something. He's got my social security number RMK doesn't believe in vaccines. We're gonna have him do health and human services They're gonna have a fucking wrestling wife do the Department of Ed For a week and then they're gonna shut it down To certain kinds of people anymore they're turning Guantanamo Bay into a concentration camp. You're gonna tell me that I'm supposed to be all sad? I'm gonna have a little bit of fun. Someone play the new Lady Gaga track.

Someone play Abracadabra, would you please? Hey! I'm scared! But by God, am I dancing? Do you find yourself... Okay, I'm dancing? I'm dancing! I'm doing a little drugs on the weekends, like all the times. I'm like belly laughing a lot. My friends are making me laugh a lot.

Yes. God's honor. I'm laughing about it. I'm laughing in the face of all of it. I know, I'm feeling the same thing. Well, I'm horrified, but I'm just like, we gotta have fun. I know. We gotta have fun.

Someone referred to my birthday party as, I can't remember the exact wording But somebody said it felt like the kind of party that you can only have right before freedom ends Hahahaha And I thought, it does! That's beautiful. Freedom reached its climax at your birthday party. Yeah, we're right. That was the freest anyone's ever been.

We're right on the precipice of uh, fascism. And I think, good golly. Let's have some fun with it Good night. Can we have a good time? I'm putting in I'm putting in the coyote ugly into the CD-ROM player I'm going and having drinks with my friends and dancing. There's a tank growing down my street. guess what? I'm in my house like this. It's Tiananmen Square but it's just you. Oh no. Yeah I'm having fun. I am happy. I am randomly happy. I am soberly aware of how bad the political climate is. 100% every day. I know that it's bad and getting worse and You know, I think there is something to be said about look I'm doing my part. I'm doing what I can. I'm sharing things I'm donating things right giving money. I'm take I'm doing what I can but I will have fun on the way

1000% I will and you know what? I don't think many people are putting words to this But I think a lot of people are feeling that I think they're feeling it and can I tell you something? When they put all the gay guys in a camp For a couple weeks gonna be fun gonna be fun Gonna be fun Gonna be fun the shower sex at the gay Yeah, sorry cuz yeah It's not just gonna be shower sex it's gonna be like. I'm gonna cry because It's not just gonna be shower sex

It's gonna be like we might not get to do this tomorrow Ever again sex This might be the last time I come Oh my god, you know those um, you know the What are they called? What is it in Pompeii? Those skeletons that are like hugging each other Like a 6000 year old like rubble It's just you and 80k guys

In the showers of it Yes, a chorus line. That's right. A chorus line of fucking... For a couple weeks. For a couple weeks. For a couple weeks the camp's gonna be a key. And then obviously I envision it will get dark.

Things will probably get dark. Oh, at the camps? Yeah, I think it might. Yes. Once they decide to go there I imagine, yes it'll it'll get dark, but boy, oh boy, oh boy. You and another guy talking at the camp. I do imagine that at some point this will get dark. Well, I'm gonna know all of them. You know what I mean? I know like every gay guy.

Is that how it is? I'm gonna get Justin. You know every gay man. Justin, this is about to get bad. I'm like, Justin, this is gonna get dark, but in the meantime, I know a place where there's no cameras. I know a place.

Oh my God. I know a place we can go. Come on. Okay, but where are, cause you're not an LA boy anymore. No ma'am. I wanna live in New York City so bad. Move.

I know. What are you doing? I don't know what I'm doing. Move to New York. I don't know what I'm doing. Well, I was know what I'm doing. I was supposed to be at your damn party and I... Why didn't you come? I had shows that ran really, really late and then I went to sleep. Yeah, the shows didn't run until 4am I'm guessing. Did your party go until 4am?

Yeah. No one was texting me back. Who? CG. She's a fake dumb bitch. Hahahaha! She didn't text you back because she's a fake dumb bitch who doesn't like you. It's a chicken and an egg situation. Did she not text back because she's a fake dumb bitch?

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as I possibly can. Never had a better time in my entire life. I've never. It's insane. Were you there before you were here? I lived there for two summers in college. Okay, okay, okay. I really enjoyed it But I gotta say I'm glad I was broke in Chicago. I don't think I would have liked being broke in New York I liked being broke in Chicago fine. It was doable. Totally. I like living in New York with a more comfortable financial situation I can pay my bills, which is nice And I enjoy coming to LA every once in a while. Yeah. It's nice.

Well, that's the move. And I don't know, this is actually the time in my life for me and my guy both, where I'm like, we could do this a little bit better than we could have five years ago. It's not going to be luxurious. No. It's not going to be beautiful.

But the bills are paid. But the bills are paid, and we could get something decent and live in Brooklyn and have a fun time. You could. You could live by me. Where are you? I'm in Brooklyn. Oh. fun time you could you could live by me. Where are you? I'm in Brooklyn We'll offline

Yeah, you guys should come out there I like fun and for someone who cares about stage time. I do and you really do. Well, it was very stupid I was like the last day I was there was like, okay What am I even I had like 12 sets or something like truly unbelievable and it's like at a certain point is there a plateau? 1000% you do not that's a lot. It is a lot you do not need to be doing New York comics And I we don't see I die. No, you don't they're like they're like New York's about stage one like New York's about dinner You're so fucking dinner and a long walk home. You're so fucking right though. New York's about dinner and a long walk home. You're so right. Except me.

There were several times that week where I was like, I would rather go eat seafood than do the three remaining spots that I have. I want to go try a new restaurant. I want to go on a date. Do you know what my favorite night in New York is? What? Date. Dinner date. Cute guy. Dinner date. Fun. Maybe you make out a little bit outside. Date dinner date. Mm-hmm cute guy dinner date fun

Maybe you make out a little bit outside. Of course you're kissing outside. Of course you're kissing outside. It's cold. You're not. You gotta kiss! Then cut the evening short. Don't sleep with him Okay, so you're reinventing the form go meet up with your friends Have a great night with your friends go to a bar or two Maybe do something, you know, go see a movie, do something, see your friends, then re-meet up, text the guy what's going on, and that's a, then meet up, then have sex. That's beautiful and that's so allowed. I'm gonna cry. There's, it's so like Amy, I'm gonna cry thinking about it.

That's beautiful. It is beautiful and that's so accepted in New York. Like there were, there were several times there where I would be with a friend for like four hours and then we would take a six hour hiatus and then get back together after spots. It's like everybody's just around. Everybody's around in the area. When I go home today, I'm going to be home for seven days. You know what I mean?

I'm not going to fucking get out of my bed for seven days. One of the key differences between New York and LA is when someone says, I'll see you later in New York, it might happen. Yeah, it literally might. Hey. Hey, I love you so much. You'll be lucky if you ever see them again. Exactly. There's a reason I've hung out with you four times. That wouldn't be the case.

Mostly your fault. Yeah. Do you feel that? Yes. I take that on. I take that on. No, it's my fault. I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad. Well, I'm a bad hanger here just generally. Yeah.

Because you have to like, I don't know. When I was- Were you guys your homophobic husband? Yeah. Because you have to like, I don't know. When I was- You guys were homophobic husbands. Yeah. You guys have that going on. You guys have- We have to be at home and he has to be homophobic there. Well, he doesn't give you permission to go out that often, so on the nights that he does.

No! No! We were out the other night, and he's a much- he is a much more introverted person than I am. And uh, but it's so funny because he's such a- he's like a quiet guy, he's a much he is a much more introverted person than I am and but it's so funny because he said he's like a quiet guy he's like a shy guy and I'll bring him around comedians other people who just like can't shut the fuck up and like never let anyone speak if they're not screaming and he was around somebody that I would say he's been around 15 times and at the end of the night the guy was like your husband's really funny I was like yeah

you should let other people talk for like one second you You should shut the fuck up. You should shut up You're so much funnier than you. Yeah, you've never let him say a word. Yeah, it's really insane waiting to hear what he has to say about bi women I'm not allowed to talk to girls He's a regular riot I've got him so blue. I've got rules on where I can go. No! No, I'm kidding.

For everyone listening at home, he's lovely. He's lovely. I am supposed to say that. He doesn't let me look at them. He's lovely. He's holding up a sign to me in the corner of the room that says, say that I'm lovely. He has a knife to chance his neck. Well, all of our guests do that

Hang out chance for five minutes. You'll pull a knife, too You know you know who's got a knife to my neck chance every month when it's time to get paid He's got a knife to my neck everybody who works here when it's time to get paid That's the worst guy I've ever seen my entire life He's at the store every night He's at the store every night. He kills at the cellar Yeah, sorry, I'm about to say something yeah, I've never been to prison, but I've got a wife Sorry, I'm about to say something. Yeah, I've never been to prison, but I've got a wife

So you can say I live with a warning I want to get I haven't done stand up in a minute, but when I get back to it I think I want to take on an affect like that God Tim is so funny. He's so good at everything put that picture on screen in the actual episode. That's so fucking funny Sorry, I went there Blinking is insane actually, and I think that's one so you came up with. So what do you think is going to happen to our country? Bad. You think? Bad. You're from the south.

I'm from the south. You're from Tennessee. Yes. And you're a liberal girl. Yes, very. Even a leftist, I would say. Yes, yeah. Even to go so far as.

Very, very left politic. And I'm sure you have some Republican family. Everyone. Everyone except for my mother. What do you think? What are we going to do? How do we do it? So I've been, me and my father are done fighting.

I don't, we just, we had it for years. He fucking, I'll challenge him on everything, but it's like, I'm not gonna waste my time. Me and my brother spend nine hours a day texting each other and arguing about Elon Musk. I'm serious, this is where I'm putting all of my creative energy. I haven't written a joke in a month and a half.

Cause I am just railing against my brother all day. And he's saying things, he's one of those people who's people is like loves a troll just loves to get a argument going. He's bored. I'm bored It's the middle of the day. I don't have a job anymore You know, I'm just locked in yeah, and then by the end of the day we will have completely Just come right back to the start and he's just saying something hateful and awful and it's driving me insane Yeah, but I also think he's like he's one of the few people I know who's like musk good and I can't, there's nothing, there's like no, I have no recourse for that. I can't, if you're starting with like that guy's good and it's

right that he's doing all this stuff, I don't, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. Elon Musk has single-handedly, we were making so much progress on Autistic People. I know and then he- We were making so much progress, we were like it's fine if bright lights scare you. Yes! We were getting so cool. You don't know what to do with your face? Me neither.

That's fine. Oh, no worries. Numbers can be fun, or whatever the fuck. We were getting there with them. Oh, why is that up so high? Stuff like that. No, train sets. We were getting there with autistic people.

Yeah. Can you not scratch your leg like that? Yes, fine. Elon just tanked the autism stock and meet with the fucking little jumps he's got our social security now he has every single piece of our data hello is anyone is anyone worried about this? is anyone worried about this? he's hiring 19 year old nazis

19 year old little nazi. To go through our finances. Uh huh. And they're cutting, they're cutting, also this is the thing I don't get about these guys is they're going, they're going, Oh, we have an America First agenda. Hilarious. We're not going to be stopping AIDS in other countries. It's like, they're cutting funding to AIDS. Hey, guess what happens if that gets out of control, dumb fuck.

You dumb idiot. It comes over here too. And then you, and then we're not going to care about it here? You've already taken down half the fucking websites about everything. Also the website scrubbing. It's so strange to me. Because I did, I think they literally removed every single federal website that made any mention of diversity, inclusion, accessibility.

Like they just scrubbed. It's unbelievable. Here's my theory that I've been thinking about a lot. These guys have weird dicks, right? Totally. Right? Every billionaire has a weird-looking dong. Totally. Egg-shaped. We saw it with Abstein. It looks strange, right? Yeah. I think that once you reach a billion dollars, I should be able to see it. You're dick. Mm-hmm. And I think it should be his profile picture on X. Yeah. So that every time he's doing something terrible and tyrannical and racist and Nazi shit,

I at least get to go, weird little dingy though. I think so. And I wanna see Bezos's, I'm sure it's weird. I'm sure it looks like his face. Totally. I think that's my right as American. If I have to hear about you every, yeah, to see their weird little peen.

If I have to hear about you every day, if you have my social security number show me your car It's your dick. Yeah, mm-hmm interesting. That's really interesting Cool cool man cool man. Well fuck or this was fun I truly at this juncture cannot believe that I have to hear about these men every day of my life You know what I mean, and that's the rest of our country. That's the rest of the democracy Do you want to hear about my hopium? Do you want to hear about my hope core? Yes, please You want to hear about why I feel so hopeful? Yeah

This isn't going to work Yes, they're doing is not going to work. It will collapse in on itself I feel really like they're most people I really think most people are not racist. I really think most people given given the actual confronted with an actual person different than them. Most people are like, hey man, how's it going? 100% I think most people are nice. Yep. I think most people are normal. Yep. I think that this will backfire. Yep. All this shit that they're doing right now. They're drumming up the bass and this shit that they're doing right now,

they're drumming up the bass and they're getting it. They're making it so exciting for all these misguided people who are interested in whatever the fuck they're doing. Yes. But I don't think it's gonna work. It can't. And then on the other side of it, I think there's gonna be a real opportunity for people like us who are actually pro working class, who are not racist and evil, who don't hate immigrants for no fucking reason.

No reason at all. Who like trans people and love trans people, but there's gonna be a window for people like us, which is not the Democrats by the way. The Democrats are not as bad, but they're fucking also stupid and fumbling. They're so stupid and they're so ineffectual and they just have been for too long. I think there's gonna be a window for people like us to come in and say, okay, here's a real plan Yeah, here's a pro immigrant pro trans pro gay pro worker Cuz the thing is like a farmer in Iowa has way more in common with a trans woman in LA

Oh my god anything with a billionaire and finally like I have been more than I have in the past several years It's like the rise of this has happened I have been seeing so so so many working class white people just being like, hey buddy, like you've been misguided, you've been lied to. And let me tell you why and how, and let me tell you how this hurts agriculture in every way, our jobs, our livelihoods, our families.

And this is a grift. Like you can admit that you don't have to like apologize, but you can admit that you've been misled by this group of people. Not for nothing, not just working class white people, working class black and Hispanic people as well. Yes, oh, 100%. The right is making a lot of gains with those people.

I know, it's, yeah. And so as fun as I think it's been for people on the left to go, poor white people bad. Yeah. Yeah, poor white people are voting overwhelmingly bad. Yeah. But even more than that, middle class white people. Yeah.

So it's not just poor white people, it's white people in general. Yeah. And then also growingly, Hispanic people and black people as well. Yeah, I know. No, the margins are nowhere near similar. But there's a growth there. And so I think we've been doing ourselves on the left a real disservice by being like, poor white people, what do you need to hear from us? Yeah, that's true. The reality is working people in general, of all races, have got to get an understanding of the fact that like a transgender DJ in

LA is not and an undocumented line cook in Kentucky. These people have more in common with most all of us than you ever will with Elon Musk. Or with anybody making I mean they were looking at the tax plan today, it's like literally under 500K a year, you will be paying more in taxes. So it's like. What's happening to the people over there? They're paying, they're gonna get killed. Hold on, I didn't read that, what's going on?

What happens to gay podcasters who make 20 billion a week? Oh no, Caleb! Am I in trouble? You're in big trouble. You're in big trouble. What if I give away like 100,000? But what if picking at your microphone?

What if I'm, I don't know. What about a gay podcaster who makes $20 billion a week? I really care about people, I think. From MeUndies. And Casper mattresses. Which are extremely comfortable, by the way. Yes, I love a Casper. Wait, that's your camera. Get your camera. And Casper mattresses. MeUndies, a single-handle. Which are extremely comfortable, by the way. Yes, I love a Casper. Wait, that's your camera.

Get your camera. Get your camera, please. I love Casper mattresses. Good night. I know it's crazy. Well, it is working people versus non-working people. It is, but I do think there's a lot of hope that I have that we can make that case. And it's, yeah, it's actually a really easy message.

We just have to find someone on the national level who can make it well. Yeah, truly. You know? Are there people that you, I'm obviously losing hope for the Democratic Party, but it's like, who do we need right now? Who is the person for this moment? I've lost faith in candidates in general. I don't donate to them. I don't promote them. I find it hard to believe I would ever have one on this show. I just don't care about candidates anymore.

I think that stumping for candidates either side, lamest shit you can do. Humiliating, right? Lamest shit in the world. Well, I just had a friend text me about this really cool socialist candidate for an office that I think is really cool and I like his platform, but I'm just like, I don't want to do it because they always let me down. I know. Whether they win or not.

I'm like, I want to focus on causes. If I had to pick a party, I think maybe the, but they have no power, but that's the thing is none of the good ones do. But Working Families Party is very exciting to me. I've read a bunch of their stuff. I like the Working Families Party is very exciting to me. I've read a bunch of their stuff. I like the Working Families Party. I think they're having a lot of the same conversations that I'm trying to have about class and work and things like that.

So maybe them. Yeah. But parties, I don't know. I don't know. It's just not working. Yeah. It's not working. Well, and it's like, I don't know.

I'm done with the Democrats. I'm done with the Democrats. I mean, it is hysterical. The failure and the refusal to change in any meaningful way. They're already talking about midterm They're already talking about pushing their messaging further to the center for the rights like have we done nothing have we made absolutely no progress here? Someone's doing that. Yeah. Yeah, and they're winning against you To the extreme You fucking morons

You fucking idiots. I can't I cannot fucking believe fucking annoying. I cannot fucking believe it dude. I cannot fucking believe it. It's the least cool shit in the world. You know what I mean? On top of that, on top of it being incorrect, not effective, it's also so fucking lame. Also can we just go down with some fucking dignity?

Can you just try being what you say you are? And just if you lose you can at least hold your head high? Yeah, a little bit. That's the thing with the comma losses We can't even hold our heads high because she was out there every day being like I have a gun She's like she's like I have a gun frankly. I'm a cop and Liz Cheney will be my vice president What? When the gun thing happened I was like I truly I thought so I was like what voter was that for? My Glock?

What? I got my Glock? What? I got my Glock in my hand. You're like, what are you talking about? I was like, is there, I love thinking about like a farmer in Iowa being like, I didn't like that strong black woman. Yeah. But I love that she's armed. Or her like every fucking time she got an opportunity opportunity being like nobody has done more deportations than me

Hey, this is good. Okay, very good point also Incredible impression twice So you've tested twice I spit everywhere because I was so shocked are you serious on a white guy who can do a comma And were you doing the comma? No No. They passed on me twice. That fucking blows my mind. They passed on me twice. A worse one. This episode of Subtru is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. yeah.

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including United, Etna, Sigma, and more. Better with people, better with ALMA. Visit helloelma.com slash so true to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's helloalma.com slash S-O-T-R-U-E. I went back for the impression, I did it worse. I have a decent... Who do you got? Yeah, who'd it worse. I have a decent... Who do you got?

Yeah, who'd you bring? I have a decent... I'm scared to say it. I have a decent Maya Angelou. Haven't done it. Haven't done it. Okay, listen. I'm scared to say this say this so I'm gonna say it because you've been so brave in terms of The quality the sort of nasal quality of her voice Yeah, not that far from Kamala I could see you being really great at it. Thank you. God. That's fine

It reminds me of that was it was it always sunny when he does CCH pounder So fucking funny because if you're a guy like me and you watched all of the shield twice You love to see a CCH pounder I think person I were watching like a some sort of ridiculous like Hype House Reality show but one of the days that you were allowed to watch TV. Yes one of the days that you let me watch TV watching like a some sort of ridiculous like Hype House reality show. This is one of the days that you were allowed to watch TV? Yes, one of the days that he let me watch TV. I also got to text one of my girlfriends that day.

Oh, that was a big one. This guy was like 19 and he was talking about being depressed like before he started to be a content creator. And he got 19 year old kid. He goes, I just like didn't have anybody to collaborate with. And we were like, hey brother, are you talking about having a friend? Yeah, I just, I wanted to link and build with people,

but there was no one to link and build with. I just didn't have anybody to collab with. Like I was alone and not collabing a lot of the time. And I wanted to collab. Like I'd be like, yo, who wants to collab on like dinner tonight or like, does someone want to collab on like bowling do you want to collab on like maybe just talking about our feelings for a few hours does anyone want to collab on hanging out at my place you have to

search cameras off I do say that I do say I don't want to collab on hang tonight hey I'm looking for creators I'm looking for creators in the comedy space to clab. It's four people that you text every day. Black Cat, 10 o'clock Thursday night, no cameras. I want to clab. There was this guy that I saw that I haven't opened Facebook in years and I opened it a few months ago and I saw that someone had tagged me in a post that they had made and it was LA's most overrated comedians It was this guy who I guess just sucks for a living and he wrote he wrote It's not fair that she gets stage time because she has a good frame

as In my body about you. I mean I feel that way but I've been saying that for years. I'm kind of a break I say I say I say only gets stage time because of her va-va-voom! Her beautiful figure. That's psychotic. Frame. And like I'm at home. He tagged you in that?

Yeah, he tagged me in it. What a fucking psycho. I loved it. I was obsessed. I liked it. I commented on it. I said, good frame. Yeah, hilarious.

What are you talking about? This is a person that I've never seen in my entire life. Like just a totally mentally ill like open mic her I love her frame You're nicer than I am because I would have went the fuck off on that guy Well, I'm like if I if this was a person that I had even remotely knew existed Yeah, I would be like, oh that makes me really sad See and this is what I we were talking about it a little bit at the beginning

But I'm like I am fielding finally. I have no traction on the internet. It's gonna make me put a gun in my mouth ever. Hate it so much. Hate it so much, the bane of my fucking existence. But whenever you do, you're like, oh, thank God. And then it's just like the cruelest shit you've ever seen in your life.

How do you, why do you shoot him with a gun? If you're me, you pretend that they're kidding. I like that. That helps me a lot. I go, oh, he was kidding. They're doing a bit. Someone's saying something brutally mean about me. I go, okay, they're joking around.

Hilarious to joke around like that. Yeah, so funny. You wouldn't actually want me dead over nothing. I love that. I love that. I love that. Yeah, helps a little bit. I've started going...

Famously, there was a guy who commented on a video of mine where I'm doing stand up and I just have the tits that I have. The joke was not in any way about my body, whatever, I just have the frame that I was gifted. Yeah. It's a beautiful one by the way. And this guy commented, I can't look at you when I say this. You have to.

I have to close my eyes. He commented and he said, he He said somebody drain those milkers Before they rupture he's looking out for you doesn't it sound like something the city has to do Like a government employee comes down sorry ma'am this has been at the top of the dog Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So it's just we could contain like 30% of this I mean they're gonna rupture Somebody somebody somebody Dude that's insane. It was the craziest and I D I DM to this man and I said, you know People say a lot of insane things on the internet I said I cannot put into words how much this disturbed me. It made me feel crazy.

It made me feel like I was gonna chop my own tits off. It made me feel out of my mind. And he goes- It gave me body dysmorphia. 100% and he goes, my bad and deleted it. That's kind of beautiful. And Carson is at home right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we've been married. So I married him. So I married him. That's insane. Also, I love the idea. It's such a funny thing to launch at a woman to be like, uh, you're only getting ahead in comedy because you're beautiful. Yeah, that classic thing that audiences laugh at. A beautiful person.

Oh, yeah, a person who's stunning. But it's like, no, you kill because you're funny. To be like, oh, a huge, gorgeous pair of tits up there. I'm laughing already. Exactly. They hate me. It's like, guys, that's not it. Coming in, every op on every side of the room is just like a woman who kind of immediately doesn't like you because you're your tits out a little bit,

a guy who is angry and doesn't think women are funny. So it's like every single time, you're getting people back on your side. Exactly. You're not going up there. Unless I was tripping and falling over them, it's not like a thing that's gonna make people laugh. I'm not doing slapstick with them.

Have you seen her titty slapstick in the new hour? I just can't stand up, right? My frame. That's so funny. What's your frame? My tender frame. It was gifted to you by God. By titty God.

Should I name myself Titty God. Titty God. So? Should I name myself Titty God? Special. My rap career goes crazy. Special title? We're a peak Titty God. T-I-T-T-I-G-O-T.

Of course. G-A-W-D. Titty God. Leanne Roymes. Leanne Roymes. OK. Leanne Roymes. Titty God. Okay, we in ruins to do God It's like it's like it's raised after every single punch I

Wipe myself with a towel Yeah, you're like you're like a black 90s comic Today go on I'm a earthquake up there just wiping my frown. Titty God. So I told him get lost. Titty God. Shout it out in a way that only Bernie Mac could have pulled off. Oh God.

It is bombing by the way. Bombing. Every single time it is eating shit. Titty God's eating shit. Titty God. Titty God. Dude, you know what I've been rewatching? What? The Bernie Mac show. Oh my god, it's so good. I haven't watched this since I was a child, but I remember really liking it.

I love him, I miss him. He's so entertaining. And he would just, they set it up so perfectly where every confessional was just him going, America! And then he would just address the nation. Yes! It was beautiful! It was amazing! This is kind of a hack stand up kind of a hack stand-up thing

But if I am feeling badly about myself comedically I will go and watch that Apollo set. Yeah every single fucking time I watch like five times a week. I'm not scared of you motherfuckers. I'm not scared of you motherfuckers. Incredible It's the best stand-up set that's ever been recorded. Yes, and it's him just what is it? Kick it every time Kick it. It's so good. Fucking Blair music It's so good Inspirational. I've read articles about that set. Truly like I Every time it's fucking Blair music Inspiration it really it's I've read articles about that said truly like I forget about it often And then I go back to it, and I'll watch I'll like mention it to a comedian They're like yeah, I watch it all the time It's like it is the most monumental stand-up set ever recorded it makes me feel better by myself because I am scared of these motherfuckers

I'm not gonna lie. I'm scared of y'all. Titty God. I'm gonna lie, I'm a little scared I'm gonna bomb. Titty God. Being vulnerable, that's Titty God. My mental health is slipping a little bit, Titty God. And y'all know what time it is? Titty God needs to take her medication. They yell it back to you. Titty God! This is after an over and do leave. Yeah, my mental health's been in the drain a little bit.

My husband won't let me talk to women. Titty God! So stupid. Oh my God, I love it. Oh my god. What's so true to you? Oh, I was thinking about this. Wait, what was my thing?

Most people don't. Oh, oh, OK. Yes, I did. I read your email. I do have it on my phone. Is that OK? That's fine, I guess. Just maybe.

So we've been trying. I'm not as smart as you, Caleb. I can't keep it in my head. OK. Me and Carson have been looking for a new place. We've been trying to move within L.A. And the things that they want from you. They want my past three employers?

You're gonna call my employers? I don't talk to them anymore. They hate me. I was run out of there. Yeah, literally. I hate every job I've ever left. What, you've not? You've never had a job?

You fuck? Okay. So when we get these in the application, I think I should be able to submit an application back to them that has the following questions. Okay, yes. Have you ever evicted anyone? Yeah. If yes, please explain. Yeah, get them. Please provide the contact information of minimum four tenants who have lived in your properties in the last five years. I'm'm gonna call him. Yes, because I do want to talk to I do want to talk to them It does he come and fix shit on time. Yeah, is he mean to you?

Why'd you leave you find out there was lead in the bathroom? You wake up with a cockroach in your mouth. Yeah Okay, have you increased rent without any meaningful updates to the property in the last five years? If yes, please explain why. Please list all of your sources of income. Will you be relying on me to provide 100% of your income? If so, why would you do that? If so, explain. And finally, in 100 words or less, please justify your lifestyle.

It's valid. I don't know if that falls under so true, but I cannot get over how much they want from me while giving me nothing in return. I'm giving you every piece of my financial history, my social security number. I know nothing about them. And I have to move quick for the privilege of paying your mortgage. I'm going to give you my social security. What are you, Elon Musk?

Landlords go to hell when they die. They go to hell when they die. They do. And no one's talking about that. I think they're, if anything is right in the world, they're all already kind of in hell. You know what I mean? Yeah.

They always seem so frantic and like worried. And it's like, you should be. You know what? You don't have a real life. Yeah. You're taking my money and like letting me live in squalor. Yeah. I hate them.

I know, me too. And that's why all my tenants are friends. That's my family. I don't have tenants. I have him. I know, me too. And that's why all my tenants are friends. That's my family. I don't have tenants, I have family. And when they, when I get some more, just me and these money, All my tenants are family. I get them some extra stuff. I've got hundreds of units across the country. Those are my sons.

And those are my sons living in there. Titty God. Titty God. And that's on Titty God. I do. I love them. No, I do. It's so funny watching your friends start to make money and then the values that change so quickly with the justification. It's crazy. Like just you, you seriously, if you, if you are a comedian who's around other artists that are starting to do well, you will go to a lunch with a friend who's a leftist, and you will hear some version of, well, don't we need good landlords?

It'll be like a week. You look over, they're wearing a hat that says it. You're like, wait. Do you? Hold on. It's not their merch now. You're like, whoa. Good landlords exist.

Yeah. Question mark. It's so fast. Please, perhands. It's so fast. It's so Please? It's so fast. It's so quick. It's so fast. This is how I know that your politics are real. I'm not a landlord.

Those are my sons. Titty God. That's on Titty God. You need to rebrand. I am ready. Something isn't working so I think it's time for Titty God. Oh my god that's so funny. Yeah landlords they're asking too much they're giving us nothing. Let's also remember how funny it is that I moved

to New York paid an amount of money for a broker's fee that I cannot even explain to you. Like the amount I paid for the broker's fee was in the many thousands of dollars. Oh my God. And then like three weeks later, they banned the brokers fees. And I said, Hey y'all, what happened? Let's set the session up a little earlier in the year next time. Oh no. I'm pretty sure I, I, You paid the last broker fee.

I paid the last broker fee. I got, I caught that woman through December and January. They made you pay so much money that we were like, they were like, we don't need these anymore. They're good. Her kids are going to college. Caleb took care of it. Yeah.

I was like, what the fuck? They can't even do that shit anymore. It's illegal the way I was treated last month. Yeah. The way you guys treated me last month, you can go to jail for now. The Caleb Heron law. We robbed this guy blind. And that's not right. They took a look in the mirror. You made them come to jail. You gave them so much money. They

said, guys, we can't keep doing this to people. He said, if you're his party, he's just a comedian. What we did to that young gay man. Golly. Golly. Knock it off. Knock it off right now. We can't keep doing this to people. Oh my god. It's like, they're like, yeah, I'm the one that put it over the edge. Not like the like immigrants that they fuck out of like school money for their children. No, no, no. It was me that they were like, no guys, it's not right. Do y'all see that white comedian that we did that to?

Come on, he podcasts so hard. He's riffing into oblivion this guy. He's this guy studio coming up with all kinds of things to talk about He's got his guests most people go with like, you know famous people but he's got just having his friends on Most people go with like, you know, famous people, but he's got just having his friends on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's from Titty God. He did have Titty God on though, did you see that? Did you see that? Everyone's like, oh, we love her.

It's just me and Glo, we're like hanging out in the... Laura, what's giving you hope? What's making you feel happy? Tell me that. Ooh, I think, I mean, we touched on it a little bit. The kind of impending doom that we're feeling, and you just made me feel a lot better about it actually, that it's too dumb to succeed, where they won't actually wreck our whole country. But there is something that's happening as a result

of that where I'm just like happy. You know what I'm doing? I'm being very forgiving of myself. I'm a very shameful, guilt-ridden person. And I'm doing less of that because I'm like, listen, you're on the right side of stuff, you're gonna try your best and don't just give yourself shit all day every day. Are you accompanying that grace with some work as well? Yeah. You mean like on me or content? Like on content. Are you producing enough content? Are you at least putting out reels? Are you at least putting out reels while you're easy on yourself? I love that you're giving yourself a good time and an easier time, but... Hey, I love that you're not being so hard on yourself, but can you at least put out

a TikTok every day? Views are down. Yeah, views are down and we need them. No, here's what I would say. Everybody give yourself more grace, yes. But everybody, this is for the people listening, everybody find something to work on. To help, yes. Find something to work on. Cause I do think there is a problem

with a lot of white people. A lot of white people are going, you know what? This is about me. I'm gonna take care of me. 100%. I'm gonna stop being so hard on myself. 100%. Here's what I would tell a lot of especially

moneyed, cis, white, straight, privileged white people. Maybe be a little harder on yourself. Yeah, that's true. You just fucking clocked me so hard. Cause I don't know what that's you. Cause I don't know what you do, but I'm saying, I will say, I am working on not making myself so crazy about all of it. I am reading less. Straight up.

I'm going to read less of the news. Period. I agree with that. There are going to be bad things that happen to people that I'm not reading about. Yeah, that I don't hear about. And I'm not going to. Okay? But I am.

I do know my little parts. I do know where I'm giving time and money and resources. I do have my little sector of the world that I'm trying to make better. And that at least makes me feel a little better about being less hard on myself. I do have some friends, most of them white women, because the men didn't care in the first place. Most of them white women who are pretty privileged

in the world, you know, they've got couch jobs. And they're going, you know, I'm just, I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. And I'm thinking, I'd like you to beat yourself up a little. Okay, these are, I wanna talk about this. Cause I wrote down on my phone the other day, like the most self-involved person you've ever spoken to your entire life,

being like, this year's about me. And it's like, when was it, were you donating most of your time before this? I really don't think. What were you doing? What were you doing that was so selfless to begin with? I'm very allergic to that person. I also, when I like, I think the only place

or despair or whatever, or like shame, guilt, whatever, all of this shit, the only thing that lifts you out of that is being productive in some way for another person, for anybody else. So you're exactly right. I'm allergic to that girl. I hope I'm not that girl. I hope I'm not that girl. I don't wanna be that girl.

But I also am like, there's so much opportunity. We live in these major cities where it's just like, oh, ice is fucking everywhere. Go volunteer, go find people that you can actually help, go get to know your neighbors a little bit, and don't just sit around and self pity. Yeah, that's massive. Also, well, yes, because I'm finding,

I think that hopelessness is a privileged person's disease. It is. The number of privileged people I'm talking to that are going, it's just hopeless. I'm hopeless. And I go, why don't you go create some fucking hope then? Yeah. Because you have money and time. Yeah. And you know who doesn't have money and time to create hope? The fucking undocumented people that are getting yanked out of the restaurant you go to every week.

One thousand percent. So I think it's a balance. I think, yes, we need to I think joy is a very critical part of surviving times like this. I think joy is so important. And I'm, I'm not kidding when I say I am very happy. I do want there to be joy. I do want to have fun with my friends.

I do want to acknowledge that like joy, it is necessary to have joy in any successful movement. God knows they're having fun doing what they're doing over there. Oh, they're having the time of their lives. We have to have fun. But I don't want that to be confused for apathy and laziness. Yes, 100%. You know, 100%. I also don't want to be there's this there's this thing that I'm very weary of that I don't want to be I don't want to be marketed as like the the moral comedian, you know, like the good guy because I don't want

to do I care about stuff. But I'm like because I don't want to do I care about stuff But I'm like, I don't want to be like it's like the Ellen DeGeneres disease where she like got she got on I'll never that'll never happen to me because I'm not that clean But there's like a there's like a thing where people attribute a certain thing to you so much Yeah, that it's like then you can never live up to it. It like becomes bigger than you Well that you'll never be afflicted by that because you're very funny You know what? I mean, it's like I don't think you're I don't think you've ever been the type of comic I'm the same way where I'm like, getting your point across is huge and keeping your morals about you when you do

your stand up is huge, but it's like, I'm not waiting for a clap. I don't want a clap. I want you to laugh really, really hard and I want to not sacrifice, I don't want to fucking turn into a right wing grifter like all these these psychopaths. Like some of these guys. Like, la-da-dee-da-las. So yeah, but it's like, you do that very effectively, I think. Thanks to you. Yeah, the separation of the funniest first. Yeah. And then, I mean, listen, you know what you're talking about.

And you're a... Do you... thank you. That's very nice. But do you find... I don't really worry about becoming a right-wing grifter because that requires such a level of evil. No, it's terrifying. But there's actually this worst thing that I kind of fear that I wonder if you ever think about where I'm like I don't worry about becoming a right-wing grifter because I know that I actually don't think I just don't think I'm capable of that Level of evil. I really don't and and I've just like discord inside of your own soul. Yeah

Like I'm like I actually don't think I have that within me that's not to say I'm an angel But I don't have that you certainly know but I do worry about becoming a complacent centrist. Or not even a complacent centrist, but like a limousine liberal or something, where it's like, there's a complacency that I see with people who really do have good values and really do care, but because their shit's locked down and they're gonna be okay,

I do watch some very good people just become like, well, you know. Do you do you do you mean comics? Do you mean people like artists people they're making art? I think artists. Yeah, I think artists and not even just that I also mean people who have like really good day jobs Mm-hmm. I've got a couple friends making a hundred hundred thirty hundred forty K a lot of money Yeah, you know living in the Midwest and and they've got good values and we march together at all the things and you know it's a little different there because they don't have there's a specific thing that happens with artists where the criticism of everything starts to kind of stop once

they get successful yeah because now they know these people well yeah now they know these people and now they're on such a larger platform where they're like you know I have been I've been about my business or I've been moral in this exact way for a really long time and I've used that as like a boon not a boom But like a part of me that people know publicly Yeah, and to see that shut down in the face of like getting bigger is crazy to me. Yeah, I see happen to stand up a Ton and everybody has their own, you know, like look, you know You don't want to call out a certain powerful person because maybe they do have a they do give you a job and you do

Have bills to pay and so it is a constant negotiation between like look I'm not gonna be able to help anybody if I'm fucking out of house and home at 100% you know but at the same time I don't there's nobody gets to live Blame free under capitalism. I'm I'm sitting on this podcast here in a sec. I probably right at this moment It's gonna cut to an ad of me being like you you know, and I'm not even going to say a brand because we value our sponsors. We do. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. But it is like that, that's, I'm working advertising. You know what I mean? That's inherently those companies and those people and the people that that benefits, there's nothing to really like puff your chest out about that. So I'm not trying to come at this from an angle of like, I'm the good right guy who does it all right.

No one gets to come out scot-free from capitalism. No one, no one, no one, no one. We're all marred by this. I'm not trying to be mean to individual people. But I am just like, yeah, at a certain point, the number of artists I know who don't seem to have really much thought at all about who they cozy up to as long as it benefits them And these aren't my friends. These are just people I encounter my friends aren't really like that, but I do find it like

Interesting especially as things get so tough. You know, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know what to do with that. It's never First of all, it's never been more apparent in art. I think. I don't know at what point comedy, especially, went from being like a truly anti-establishment art form. Yeah, it was like- That's the reason it was made, right? Yeah, it was the people's art form. Yes. You're supposed to go up and make fun of the fucking-

Everybody. Now they've got them on their podcasts. Yeah, they've got them all on their podcasts. And it's like, no one, well, strangely, no one's doing the opposite. You don't hear any comics being like, I didn't see anybody perform at convolo rallies. But it's like, I guess the paycheck that they get from these people, or I guess the notoriety that they get

is more important than any art they've ever, but I tried to write so much about this. It was like, you start comedy as an artist. You're like, I'm gonna challenge myself. I'm gonna challenge my own assumptions and my own beliefs and I'm gonna challenge everybody in the room and then you get a few million dollars and you're like I'm gonna see if I could his dick so hard that it came out of my ass. Truly and by the way those guys are also their whole thing is like well wouldn't you if you

had the opportunity and I go no. I would not. No not know not in it actually not in a trillion fucking no, I would not have JD Vance on my Sorry, I don't know what's not fucking clicking for you, but no I would not do that No, you wouldn't do it like you wouldn't like to hold Donald Trump's feet to the fire. No There's a couple things I'd like to see happen to that guy. I'd like to hold several more. None of them are guesting on my podcast. I could list them, but it'll get cut. It's like, no, I would not do that.

Yeah, I know, I know. And I don't think there's ever been a more, also it's like a time, a horrible, obviously, time in America, but a time to really make choices about that kind of stuff. And it has never been more fraught or more apparent that it's like, this shouldn't be popular. It should not be popular to have these people on your podcast. It should not be popular to align with them. It shouldn't be like a thing that you're proud of. And it does make me feel insane.

It's so weird. Because it is. And I also feel like, yeah, I just feel like, you know, not to talk so much about politics, I guess we're pretty deep into it at this point. But I'm like, yeah, I just have been thinking a lot lately feel like, yeah, I just feel like, you know, not to talk so much about politics, I guess. We're pretty deep into it at this point. But I'm like, yeah, I just have been thinking a lot lately about like, I'm actually not gonna be made to feel dumb for caring about people. No, you can't make me do that. I'm not doing it. I love it.

The number of people on the right that are like, their whole thing is like, you know, I watched JD Vance do these interviews where he's like, sorry, I don't want my kids living next to an immigrant. They might be in a gang. I'm like, you will never make me feel stupid or naive for not being like you.

It is hysterical. And we are, we are, I'm glad that we're, I'm so glad that this, I mean, glad. I am relieved in a certain way that this moment is coming at this, like, at my ripe old age, because I'm like, no, I'm so done with people making me feel foolish for shit like that. I'm so, I am so done with people being like, immigrants, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. They have a harder life than you have ever even imagined or could imagine for yourself. You are being cruel, cruelty is not funny to me.

It is not cool, it shouldn't be popular. It is a lame ass fucking point of view. And you're right, nobody from this point onward in our lives is gonna look at us and be like, you're actually being foolish. You're being naive. It's like, nope, I'm just not a dickhead. Also, fine.

Yeah, great, great. Okay, I'm dumb. Yeah, yeah. Next. I'm dumb and I have a wonderful life. Fine, I'm stupid and lovely. Yeah, I'm stupid and lovely and a lot of people, I love a lot of people and a lot of people love me. Yeah, I don't believe in borders and I'm actually really like trans people.

I guess I'm a fucking idiot. I guess I'm a huge fool. What now? I guess the trans people in my life are some of the best people I've ever met. I guess I'm a huge fucking moron. I guess you trans people in my life are some of the best People I've ever met I guess I'm a huge fucking more. I guess you're a genius and your kids don't want to talk to you So what now? You're gonna you're gonna die on your deathbed alone You're gonna die in your deathbed alone or with your ugly wife and you're fucking stay here

With your ugly ass wife and you're standing a guy who is literally on the internet being like I Defend this young man who says that race mixing is bad And it's like dude your your what like it goes against every your wife is is an Indian woman That shit like blue. I sorry now I'm just talking so that blew my mind where he was like we can forgive this little doge kid for saying that he thinks that Interracial coupling is bad. Yeah, you know what fuck the kid who said it fuck JD Vance and fuck his wife Yeah, literally fuck all of them. She's complicit. That's it. That's another thing. I'm tired of these right wing guys wives getting passes where they're like She's probably scared to speak up. It's like no she's fucking evil too

And so fuck that bitch as well They fucking do it with Melania all the time where they're like look at how fed up she is with him. I'm like what? Yeah, she probably hates his ass of course. He's a repugnant human being but she's stuck around She's like rubbing his shoulders while he writes executive orders She's like trans people don't exist Fuck and all these people like yeah the the people that are trying to take pity on JD Vance's wife fuck that bitch Ridiculous it is ridiculous, and it's infantilizing and it's sexist. Yeah, actually I'm pro-women because I hate her And it's infantilizing and it's sexist. Yeah, actually I'm pro-women because I hate her

It's stupid she has autonomy she could have left him it would have had a big impact at any juncture She could have made a show to America by being like this guy fucking sucks And he doesn't stand up for me And he doesn't stand up for her children and he's a weak little spineless piece of shit And I'm out and I'm out and I would have praised her for that I don't praise her for sitting up. I don't praise her for standing like she can't do it now though That's the other thing is we have to, yeah, we can't let them back in after too long. How do you mean?

Like if she had done the big stand, what I don't want is for her to think in a couple years that she can come back over. Right. You know what I mean? Normal people will have back any time. Yeah. Regular working class people will have you back any time. Oh, any moment, any moment.

But people that were like figureheads of the right wing movement, I'm like, we're not having you back. No, it's not going to happen. You've got to go to jail. You're on the fucking dais at the inauguration. We've got to keep a jail open for you. You made a big choice.

It is so fucking infantilizing that they do that with the spouses of these horrible men. It drives me insane. It really is stupid. Every time. And it's always, they're never doing it to like Sarah Huckabee Sanders' husband. Exactly. It's misogyny and it's always the women that they're like that leftist people are like Well, who even knows what she thinks? I'm like I can tell you exactly what she thinks and it's what he thinks

Yeah, she's married to him you fucking psycho Yeah, it's not like she's like like threw her hat in the ring the moment that he was gonna be VP or something I was like she's been around this toad for long enough. She's also a loser Like what I also yeah, I found it kind of I kind of found it same thing with the ads that were like, your husband doesn't get to go in the voting booth with you. I'm like, these people are getting horny on this. That was first of all, the overt sexuality of those ads was extremely confusing to me. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm making eyes at the woman

above the thing. I'm like, we just go fucking about it. That's what those ads are about. Are you also a Democrat? I'm gay. Yeah. That was so infantilizing though. It was just like, you don't have to tell your man. Are there people, are there like really far right guys in America who are, you know, abusive and violent? Of course, but it's like, that shouldn't be the, the message should be like, you should be able

to talk to your husband about who you're fucking voting for or else you shouldn't be in a marriage with him. What are you talking about? Hello. What are you talking about? I'm not a baby. And guess what? Hmm. Speaking of misogyny, you have to play a game. We have a segment for you. Okay. Okay. This is a true or false segment. I'm gonna read you 15 statements. Oh, I'm stupid though. Do you know that? Well, you're not stupid. You're so pretty. I'm stupid though, do you know that? Well, you're not stupid, you're so pretty.

Um... You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can, Laura, if you think what I've said is true or false. I'm ready. And if you get ten or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars. USD? USD. Wow.

In fact, are you ready? Titty God. Titty God. Cartoon Network was started in 1950. False. False, it was 1992. Fish oil is not edible for humans. False. False. A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.

True. True. A Nashville used to be named Fort Nashwood. Uh, false. False. It was Forge-Nash-Burrow. Mm-hmm. Margot Robbie is from New Zealand. Uh, false. False. Australia. There are no repa- there are no reptiles in Antarctica.

Uh, true. True. There are 52 cards in a standard deck of playing cards. True. True. Steak is the official state food of Texas. True. False. Damn it! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You idiot! It's chili. No, you're doing incredible. This is crazy. Chance, you did a bad job on these ones. The Purple Mask players is the theater club at Father Ryan High School. True. True. YouTube comes pre-installed on all Android phones. True. True true Anthony Davis plays for the Los Angeles Lakers true false Grizzly bears run as fast as the average horse

True true the state motto of Rhode Island is out of one comes many sure true false. It's hope Johnny Knoxville graduated from the University of Tennessee false I I think false. Yeah, because where do you go? You teach how to Nuga don't have it, but maybe okay pearls dissolve in vinegar false true shit. You did what 12? How'd you do? Historic run there. I mean what the first like that was seven or eight. I don't think you got one wrong until Texas yeah, you got Guys really proud of you. I didn't think you got one wrong until Texas. Yeah, you got so many. Guys. Really proud of you.

I didn't know a woman could do that. And from the South. That changed my perspective today. Hey, that's what I'm here to do. That was beautiful. Zoom in on that. Zoom in on that right there. Well, I love you.

Where can the people find you? Find me on Instagram at Laura Peak, comedy, L-A-U-R-A-P-E-E-K And you can see all my dates. I'm going on tour. I would love to see you there. Go see Laura on tour. We love you so much. I love you too. This is so fun. Thanks for doing it. This was great. Thank you for having me. Sorry we talked about politics so much.

I love it. I like talking about politics with you. Do you think the listeners will like it? I hope so. If they're leftist, piece of shit. If they're leftist, most of my fans are right wing. That's why I have to bring it up. It's so crazy that you've amassed such a right wing base. How did that even happen? Well, I mostly agree with him in private.