So True with Caleb Hearon - Lily Sullivan Gets Serious

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

Y’all are in for a real treat. This week’s guest is the hilarious Lily Sullivan! Lily and Caleb talk therapy, the best sushi in town, the desire to be flirted with, Shrek costumes, and so much more! Subscribe to our YouTube channel for full video episodes! Join our Patreon for an exclusive extended interview with Lily and other bonus content! Follow Lily! @lilyyily Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Head to https://factormeals.com/50sotrue and use code 50sotrue to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping! About Headgum: Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com. » SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1  » FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum  » FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/ » FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and our social media manager Virginia Muller.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. What is going on with the shoes? I'm obsessed with them. They're so squeaky. I'm never unshoe-ed in here and now I'm addicted to them. That's what I feel like I have to- I feel grounded on the headgum carpet. This episode's been too silly. Have you used a stylist for anything?

No. You have great style. You put together great. Are you saying that because we're twinning? Yeah, we're wearing jeans and the same loafers. I'm like, you actually know what you're doing. So actually, I'm loving Lily's looks. Wow, sorry.

Yeah. I remember I texted you about what we were going to wear today. Yeah. Yeah, and you told me I think you said don't wear a light wash denim. That's my thing today I said and I've got the cardigan covered you can wear the shirt version of a cardigan So you can wear your towel shirt, I guess And then you sent an eye roll emoji. Yeah, you're not nice to me But are we recording what are we recording? Oh, we're rolling. You're trying to slander me already. Ambush.

Fucking slander. So Lily, you're not nice to me. What's that about? It's not that I'm not nice. It's that you ask for me. You ask for it. Yeah. You ask for me to be bitchy.

Right. Because when you behave like that, someone has to put you in your fucking place. Yeah. Do you know how many people are going to be so has to put you in your fucking place. Yeah. Do you know how many people are gonna be so happy to see you saying this? Yeah, lots. These guys are clapping over there practically. They're sobbing. Like finally someone's putting him in his place. Oh my god. You know, I- She is me. She's, fuck, she's mothering. Oh my god, she's mothering. I'm sobbing. Oh my god, she's literally mothering right now.

I have to keep you humble. I'm sorry. Somebody needs to. Like literally. You know, I did Stavi's World podcast the other day and he was talking to his producer and being like, hey, can we get that camera going? And I turned to Eldis and I said, blink twice if you're not okay. And I said, you and Chance should start a support group.

You guys get treated horribly. All the poor producers who work on these nightmare podcasts. Silly little podcasts. The behind the scenes people. You guys, oh, I'm so sorry. What did Caleb do? Guys, we can't have this rumor out there. What did Caleb do?

Stop! Yeah. What they did is sign an NDA. That's what they did. And so they won't be speaking to you. What if you found out that was true? Everyone who works here had to sign an NDA because I'm so horrible. You have me sign one after. Who do you hate the most?

Who do you have the most trouble with? Oh my god. Besides my husband? Besides your horrific, toxically masculine husband? Nightmare. So much. Who do you hate the most? Who do you have the most trouble with? Oh my god. Besides my husband. Besides your horrific, toxically masculine husband. He's such an alpha. Tim Balz.

Tim Balz, one of the most alpha men alive. More like Tim Dold. A guy I've only ever seen be lovely. Wait, I'm gonna take my... can I put my shoes on the couch? I mean my feet on the couch. Of course, of course. Do you want me to take my shoes off too? Yeah, let's just get comfy.

Okay. This is what I do at my therapist and I'm kind of like, I bet you she hates it. What are you working on in therapy right now? Everything. Yeah? Everything. What's the biggest thing? She got me on medication is the biggest thing.

What kind? Cymbalta. What is that? Is that up or downer? It's SSRI. SSRI and that's the one that makes you happy. Anxiety. Are you an anxious person? Extremely.

But the thing is, I don't think I ever fully realized how anxious I am. Because I was like, this is normal to be like, I wake up in the middle of the night and have an anxiety attack. And I'm like, global warming is going to kill us. And then being like, what if my brother died? That's the level of like. I think everyone's trimmering with fear at all times of the day. Everyone does that in the middle of the night and does sleep.

Yeah. And then finally my friend was like, have you ever thought about medication? And I was like, that's fucking crazy. Because like my family's so anti-medication in general. I feel like, and then I- A hilarious thing to be as a family, by the way. One thing about us, we're against medication. But then they're all alcoholics so it's... Oh,

Simbalta is an FDA approved to treat major depressive disorder. Oh, what? Oh. I guess I'm really sad and angry. With this condition you may feel sadness, loss, or anger that interferes with your daily activities. I'm literally finding out I'm also... So... So I'm depressed. You're like, I guess I'm depressed. Oh, so, okay. I thought I was anxious, but I'm sad.

Yeah, I guess we're dealing with the anxiety via Sambalta. This is insane. It can treat, oh, it can treat, okay. I got nerve pain. It can treat depression, anxiety, diabetic peripheral neuropathy, fibromyalgia and chronic muscle or bone pain. Is anyone impressed with how I rattled through those off the bone? That really fast.

Yeah. I couldn't string those together. Could have been a doctor. Me. You absolutely could have. Could you imagine? A surgeon. Such good bedside manner.

Where's my scalp imagine? A surgeon. Me as a surgeon? Such good bedside manner. Where's my scalpel? Hahahaha! I literally- Excuse me! I've already asked for the fucking scalpel like four times. Oh, I guess it's national don't bring my forceps day. Hahahaha! Go ahead and cough for me. Cough for me, sweetie. I'm not gonna ask again. Go ahead, give me a cough.

Cough for me? That's how I talk. Cough for me? Um, what I was gonna say is, um, my- I mean, two things. I'm not gonna ask again. Go ahead, give me a cough. Confirm me? That's how I talk. Confirm me? What I was gonna say is my, I mean two things. First of all, so my friend was like, go on medication. I was like, that's crazy. I go to my therapist and I'm like, my friend said like I should go on medication.

And she's like, yeah, we should talk about that. She's like, oh, I've been waiting. She'd been holding it in for like a long time. Yeah. And then the first psychiatrist I had, she killed herself. Can you edit that out? Oh. Really?

Yeah. And then I know. How recent had you done an appointment with her? That's what I'm saying. It's a game of hours, I think. It's literally like a 30 rock joke. I mean I had seen her for probably like three sessions and then I got the news and I was like and the thing is I also have... You just hear a chair hit the floor. Some writhing noises. Sorry, that's not.

It's so sad and also it was like extremely shocking. And also like my therapist was like, so how are you doing Lily? Like that this happened to you on your mental health journey. And I was like, I don't know. And then also, so I've been, not to like rattle off all my illnesses, but I- You're like in another thing. Here I go, I have- You ever heard of heat rash?

I've got them. Worse, I have SIBO. It's like small intestinal bacteria overgrowth. Oh no. And so basically like going to the bathroom It's a small intestinal bacteria overgrowth. Oh no. And so basically like going to the bathroom like 20 times a day for the anxious part. And I started seeing this GI doctor and they made me like deliver my shit

in like a little like to-go bag. Two days later, kills himself. No, no, Willie. He quit the practice forever. He got one bag of your shit and hung it up? He literally was like- They put his jersey in the rafters because he saw one bag of your shit? He's like, I'm literally no longer going to be a doctor anymore after seeing this bag full of shit. He got one bag of your shit and he hung his cleats up.

I'm telling you, I don't know what's going on. I'm making people. You're wreaking havoc on the medical community. It's like the first time I've ever asked for help and this stuff's happening. It's really rough. It's really, really rough. Oh my God, dude. That is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard. Yeah. So do you regret asking for help? Yeah I'm kind of like well what do I do now? And my therapist is like yeah I mean it's okay to like take a pause. But um but she's great she's been wonderful because I actually had a therapist before this who like I didn't realize was like breaking the rules of therapy kind of stuff like I saw her and she also saw a friend of mine. Um, and she was like, you know,

I would say something to her and she would be like, well, we all know how Annie can be. And I was like, what? And then I like started seeing this other therapist and she's so much better. She's also seeing a friend of mine and she doesn't do anything like that. Like doesn't even acknowledge that my friend like exists. But, um, so I've like been telling that to like friends about therapy stories. And this guy goes, cause my other friend had a therapist who in the middle of the session, they're doing like a zoom.

She goes, starts eating like this. Why so quick? So quick, like to hide it. Yeah. So that like, like her main friend wouldn't notice that like she was eating during the session. What? Yeah, and then she goes,

she starts checking her phone constantly and then she takes at the end face cream and goes, starts rubbing it in. What? Yeah. People are not well, dude. People are unwell. And so then I was talking, said that she like eventually like emailed

Her and was like you seemed really distracted. She's like oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm diabetic My numbers were low like and I was so I was like checking my numbers on my phone And I was like don't be checking your phone First like he before I like take ten minutes to get the numbers normal Hey, you're a mental health professional charged with my well-being don't be be checking your phone. Figure out your numbers before the one hour we spend together. But then I'm like, we both were together like, but what about the face cream? The skin cream, that's where it gets.

She never explained. Yeah. And this other guy I was talking to, he's like, I had a therapist ask if he could eat during the session. And guess what he ate? Corn on the cob. Can you believe it?

Can you imagine? Can you believe it? Corn on the fucking cob! Lately I can't escape the thought that my life will never get better and maybe I should just end it all. Going on the cob! Going in on the cob! Going in on a cob! I want to know how many he had. Oh my god. How many cobs? I didn't even think of that. He probably had multiple cobs. Cause you're thinking it might have

been a singular cob. He might have had a bucket of cobs. That's a really good point. Because when you eat corn, you eat a lot of it. He just cranks one out every couple seconds. Puts it all in at once. Yeah. Pulls it out. Just takes them all off. Yeah. Or even worse, he does that thing that you sometimes do for kids where he starts cutting it off the cob and then spoonfuls it. Oh, God. That would be... That's so messy. That's really, really messy. You guys, don't do that.

Have you ever had the experience... It's a PSA. Guys, stop. Please don't eat corn like that. Have you ever had the experience where one of your friends tells you that they are thinking about going to school to become a therapist and the reality is that they are the most disturbed person you've ever met? Every single one. No fewer than seven times has a close friend been like, I think I'd be a good therapist and I'm like, you shouldn't even really be talking to people at all. Let alone in an advisory capacity.

Yeah. Some of the most fucked up people I've ever met alone in an advisory capacity. Yeah. Some of the most fucked up people I've ever met think they should be therapists. I mean, absolutely. Like, I, most everyone I know, but that's the weird part about seeing a therapist because I'm like, I think she seems normal, but what do her friends say? Yeah. I don't know. Is she older than you or younger than you?

She's older. I have to do older. I can't do same age. That's something I've worried about. What? Do you have one? I don't do therapy. I can't do same age. That's something I've worried about. What do you have one? I don't do therapy I'm really strong Caleb no, I don't need therapy or drugs. I'm quite strong, but I know that some people do I know I'm weak No, I just have I did therapy for a little bit in college and I found it quite annoying

Well, you have to find the right one. You have to shop around My mom was like it should scratch an itch that like your friend can't like you're like a friend over wine can't yeah okay, and and Now like now that I have one I'm like preaching. No, I start and I should do that Yeah, we'll find you one definitely fans are gonna be in the comments. They sent some of the things you've said on the show You need to be in therapy like Caleb needs help Caleb my biggest fear doing a podcast is that there's gonna be an article that's like fat gay comedian sounds off and internet disagrees

Thoughts and then it's first more You know you'd probably get more listenership out of that it would but I'm not one of those guys Yeah, I'm not that's's for the right-wing crowd, where they're like, the rage only fuels my ad clicks. I'm not one of those guys. We need more of those on the left, though. We need more of those Joe Rogan types. Yeah, more people using their privilege

to sit next to their friend on a plane. Yeah, please. Yeah. I am not one of those guys. I want, I do, I don't need to be liked. There are times when I'm okay not being liked. Like, I got some negative comments when I posted about abortion rights in Missouri I'll take up that fight. Yeah, happy to be disliked on that. Yeah, that's fine. But that's because I'm a martyr and a hero

Yes, when it's things about my personality Lily you know, I know I'm like very sensitive like if people comment anything even slightly negative I'm like, oh my god, what's the one that got to you most recently? Um, oh man Well, I think the thing like people because I do a lot of comedy bang bang So then I'll do all these like characters So then it'll be like someone being like I don't like that character as much as this character So it's like not even like that negative. It's like and I'll be like all day long like oh my god Yeah, fuck. I really gotta work on my fucking character

Yeah, so depressing. I've got to get down to the wig store This isn't working. Really lock in. Oh by the way, I didn't say that when I had to deliver the shit First of all, yeah, I had to do it at my house. Yeah, okay, you had to shit in a bag? I had to, no, I had to like, Shit and scoop? Yeah, shit and scoop. Do you shit into the toilet and then some water just goes like that? They gave you like a mini toilet

that goes like in the toilet essentially and then you are supposed to scoop it into this thing. I almost puked like nine times doing it. I told Tim, I told Timmy to leave the planet. I was like, you have to go to another like state while this is going on. And then I had to drive it back down to the doctor's office, which is inside of a mall downtown,

like inside of a mall. I don't think you were interfacing with a doctor. You know, every new detail you reveal, I start to feel that you were not working with a doctor. It was a doctor Walking you know, yeah, he sent me a mini toilet home and asked me to shit in it I had to go back to well, I had to go back to little Tokyo and Deliver it to an alleyway and after that they closed down the office Like some guy with a fetish it was worse than that. I had to walk past a Uniqlo with my bag of shit.

Not a Uniqlo with your bag of shit? Did you have it out in the open? Yeah, to go back. It looked like a to-go bag. It was fucking horrifying. I was driving with it next to me. That's gamed, honey. Yes. Anyway, don't sell your shit, you guys. Don't sell your shit. Don't do it. Guys, don't do it. That's so crazy girl.

It was fucked. I hate to hear that. Did they figure anything out? Are you going to be okay? I mean I just went on medication. More medication? For my... How many pills are you doing today?

So many pills and it's not working. So many pills. You seem good. Yeah, no I'm doing good. You seem good. You had a great Halloween costume. Yeah, thank you. I thought of that the day of. Wanted to compliment you on that. Yeah, but, I'm doing good. You seem good. You had a great Halloween costume. Yeah, thank you. I thought of that the day of.

Wanted to compliment you on that. Yeah, but you didn't, so. I am. Oh, okay. Now we asked you to come in. I was waiting for like the big like on Insta like Kayla. You wanted me to do like a grid post? Yeah.

Okay. On grid. Okay, I'll take the note. I'm looking forward to it. I'll take the note. I thought it was genius. I thought it was so fun. It felt very you.

Thank you. I thought, wow, I saw it on my feed and I said, my friend Lily is having a nice time. Yeah, I dressed up for the note. I thought it was genius. I thought it was so fun. It felt very you. Thank you I thought wow, I saw it on my feet and I said my friend Lily is having a nice time Yeah, I dressed up for the listener like the Italian gymnast who was sponsored by Parmesan cheese Yeah, you posed with a big wheel of cheese could have done some more work on the cheese wheel Can I get in one day? Yeah, okay So maybe next time it needs we take a couple more days because the cheese one was the only part that I thought she did phone it in on the cheese. Well, I'm that took me a long time It took me a while to make that what were you uh, I was at a film festival I didn't get to do anything. Oh my god I'm thinking about throwing a how are not howling a costume party for my birthday though. Oh my god

Yes, if you'd like to come I would love I think perhaps it'll be in January January how January costume party I've been in Los Angeles well no you'll have to fly to New York Wow But I think it'll be worth it. Okay. I've looked at a space now. Oh, I need a message that how big are we talking? How many people yeah, I think like 400 holy fuck yeah, I would throw a proper party. I love what's New York. Yeah You're very New York now, you don't want to throw a small party in New York. In Williamsburg, New York? In New York? Yeah, not in New York. No, not in New York. Maybe in Tulsa or something like that. Some, some pointless place like Oklahoma City. Yeah, like Count Point, Indiana. Yeah. Maybe, maybe some pointless place like some place in Oklahoma, for example.

But, no, if I'm in New York, I'm gonna throw a party with 400 or 500 people. Okay, okay, yeah. Well, I'll have the space for that. Do I think 400 people will show up? I don't know, because I wouldn't, it's not obviously open to the public. I know some of the listeners are gonna be thinking, oh, I can come. You can't. No. You'll never get the particle. No, I'm gonna tell you right now, you will not be there.

You're not getting the particle because if I open up to everyone that would just be chaos And my birthday party is supposed to be for 400 of my nearest and dearest What's your costume I was thinking if I do it I'll do a really involved It'll probably take two or three people to pull off. Okay, I'll do a really involved Marie Antoinette Oh my god, cuz you gotta imagine me twerking and smoking a joint on my 30th birthday dressed involved Marie Antoinette. Oh, my god. Heaven. Because you've got to imagine me twerking and smoking a joint on my 30th birthday dressed as Marie Antoinette. That would be so incredible. That's for the history papers.

Freaking papers. The history papers? For the history papers. Freaking Vogue magazine would probably write a piece. Ha! Ha! You have to do that. You would look incredible.

Yeah, I do. I do think I could throw a big costume party. I think so too. And I think you could come. So what am I gonna be? I have to redo the cheese? I think if you're gonna do that costume again, I think we spend more time on the cheese wheel.

That is my one no. I think you could do something different though. Can I pick your costume? Yeah, please go ahead, please. I would have you be a really, really, oh, this is fun, okay. But you have to really go all out. You have to get like a costumer and like a makeup artist

and all that stuff and like, maybe like the team who did the whale for Brendan Fraser. But I'm not gonna have you be the whale. I'm my favorite movie. I would have you be Shrek. You know I wanna be Shrek, a small Shrek. Like photorealistic Shrek. Tiny Shrek.

No. What are you talking about? That I'm not gonna be on stills? Well you can be short Shrek, but I want to be Shrek. Like photorealistic Shrek. Tiny Shrek. No. What are you talking about? Am I on the end stills? Well you can be short Shrek but I want you to put on like a bodysuit. I want you to be fat Shrek. I want you to get the ears to where it looks like they're actually in part of your head. So then is Tim Fiona?

Of course. Yeah. Of course but he has to be ogre Fiona. He can't be regular Fiona. And he has to also get CGI. What am I thinking of? He has to get like prosthetics yes get like prosthetics yeah yeah well I think I would have to get prosthetics too do you not think both of you prosthetics you're like no actually you don't need prosthetics when we dress up as Shrek come as you are

just paint your face green yeah Tim will need prosthetics you know you'll both need prosthetics I think it's just it's my 30th. And so I don't want anyone to phone it in. For sure. You know, one of the cringiest Halloween costumes that I think I want to be. What? Jimmy. That's what I want you to look like. By the way, guys, when we pull up pictures on the show, can we start putting them on

the screen in the YouTube video? People are getting mad. Commenters literally are getting mad. They're saying, why can't I see what you're seeing? And I think they're right. It sounds like the audience is really mad. My audience is really, they have an ownership over the show that this is what you should look like though for Shrek. Honestly, it's not going to take much. Well, it'll take quite a bit because he also he's phoning it in a little bit, but the ears do

look like part of his head, which I like. I do like the Shrek weddings where the people get married to Shrek. Or Shrek, there's like a been a Shrek rave before. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. That's a good one. That is a good one. What the fuck? I would love to play Shrek in something. This just fell off. I guess in Shrek. What's his movie called?

His movie's called Shrek, huh? Yeah. This is insane. That's what I want you guys to come out. What is that? Is that like Heidi Klum or something? That looks like a really advanced costume. By the way, mind you, if I do costume party for 30th birthday,

I'm doing a step in repeat. Fuck yes. Heidi might be there. You never know. Are you close? Heidi Klum and I? Not yet, but you know how Hollywood is. Matter of minutes, matter of moments.

It's all about moments. And I hope I'm coming up on one. I don't see things as days, I see things as moments. Yeah, oh God, you should be a publicist. You're most of the way there. You're beautiful. You wear good sweaters. Aw, thank you. You carry a nice handbag and a loafer. Thank you so much.

You could be a publicist so easy. I'm trying. Who would you like to be a publicist for? Or what would you like to be a publicist for? Could be a person, a concept, a thing? Probably like a famous animal of some kind. Oh, like the hippo that everyone loves? Yeah, the hippo. What's her name?

Moodang. Moodang. I've about had it with her coverage. I think everyone has when she predicted the presidency. I'm fed up. When she picked the Trump cake, I was fed up before that though. She bites.

But that's the fun part. She's nasty. I don't find that charming. She's fucking vicious. Hurting people is no fun. But when you're small like that, it's funny. But guess what? She won't be small forever.

And now we've rewarded her for biting. Well, I'm sorry, she can't be on the show. No, she can't. Yeah, I know. You would be a publicist for Mudang? Yeah, Mudang. I would be a publicist for, what are some other famous animals?

Oh, Harambe. Of course, of course. God, did he need one? He could have used some spin right around. Yeah, he really could have. Yeah, well he killed that kid. It's horrible. Shamu. Shamu. Of course.

Yes, of course. Is that a real animal? Yeah, Shamu. I felt that it was made up for a movie, Shamu. No, no. Real animal. Yeah Shamu. I felt that it was made up for a movie Shamu. No, no real animal Wow Wow who else is there famous and the Frasier dog, oh of course Brian from Family Guy Brian from the guy. Oh, he could use a publicist. He's always putting out a book or something You guys ever notice how the days are shorter but your to-do lists aren't? Power through your busy days with Factor's no prep, no mess meals.

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Headgum. That's aura, A-U-R-A frames.com. Use code HEADGUM at checkout to save. Headgum. That's right. Terms and conditions apply, of course. Thank you, Aura Frames. I'd like to do it for the concept of homosexuality. Okay.

I feel that we've, gay has not gotten a lot of good press recently. So, yeah, tell me. I'd just like to up the profile of gay. I'd like to up the profile of gay and say what we're doing and what we're not doing. Okay. You know, how we're reacting to certain things,

how we're not reacting to certain things. I'd like to say what restaurants are doing and what we're not doing. Okay. You know, how we're reacting to certain things, how we're not reacting to certain things. I'd like to say what restaurants are gay and what restaurants are not gay. Ooh, let's do that. Where are we eating? You know where I had a transcendent meal recently? Tell me. Well, I'll tell you. I went to a restaurant in Brooklyn, New York.

Okay. In the Clinton Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York called Dinner Party, run by a team of women chefs. One of their names is Joy, who I got to meet at the restaurant. They served me an incredible meal, Lilly. And what it was, was it's dinner party is the concept. You sit at communal tables and they serve one meal and you just lock in. You eat what they serve. I love that. And they bring it to you on different plates and silverware. It's funky. They've got candles. It sounds so nice. Oh eat what they serve. I love that. And they bring it to you on different plates in silverware. It's funky, they've got candles. It sounds so nice.

Oh, it was lovely. I had the time of my life. I went with my friend Sabrina and my server, Nubia, I believe was her name. Oh my God, you have such a good memory. I believe her name was Nubia. I wanna say that that's correct. It could have been Nudia or Nubia.

There was a B or a D, but it was a beautiful name either way. The sounds were there. Yep. Gorgeous young woman, New York native, and we had a lovely conversation. We sat outside afterwards for a while. It was just chilly enough to be you need a jacket, but it was still comfy. Beautiful. And I had a lovely meal and a lovely conversation, and so I had a really good time at dinner

party. So would you go, that means that that restaurant is gay? That restaurant is gay because I enjoyed it. Trying to think of where I... So like what's a street restaurant? Oh God, KFC. KFC or where have I eaten recently that didn't feel so gay? Oh, I went to Chen Chen in West Hollywood last night.

The light on my table didn't work. You talk about a metaphor. You talk about a metaphor. Yeah. You talk about a metaphor. Yeah. The light doesn't work. Yeah. There's no light.

Nobody's home. There's no light. Straight. No joy. No joy. Straight. Yeah, Chen Chen West Hollywood did not feel gay to me. This conversation's so hard for me because I'm straight.

You're not totally straight, are you? No. Yeah, I didn't think so're not totally straight, are you? No. Yeah, I didn't think so. We'll see. I've seen enough. We'll see. I've seen enough to know there's queer in there somewhere, don't you think?

Yeah. A little bi? Yeah. Would Tim ever let you? Well, I don't know. We haven't really gotten there. Wait, you sounded British. Would Tim ever let you?

I do feel like, Yeah, like I remember I'm I'm open to it, but I feel like I never got hit on by women I've never been hit on by a woman ever. I don't think that's true. Well, I if it isn't true Is that yeah, does that make sense? Sure. Yeah, and I am like I I'm completely oblivious I think it might be unbeknownst to you. I feel that I know lesbians. Yeah. I know lesbians well. Yeah. And I know that lesbians are interested in you.

Really? I can see the whole thing. That's really nice to hear. I can see the whole thing. And maybe if Tim's interested, you guys could bring in a third. OK. A woman sometime.

OK, Tim, let me know. Tim, shout out. Tim. Tim, I love you guys as a couple. Yeah. But I would not mind you guys adding a third every once, even just for fun. Do you want, are you trying, is this like a pitch?

Is this an audition? I love you guys as a couple, but bringing in someone that you know and like, just for a little fun every once in a while. Someone who might live in New York. You know, yeah, who visits often. Who's been through a great costume party. Who has a big costume party coming up.

Who has a Shrek and Fiona fetish You'd be our donkey How sweet would that be? How sweet was that for the three of us to fuck in those costumes? That'd be fine. That'd be so fine. All we need is our puss in boots Yeah, can I change can I be put some please? Yes, of course. You know what? Tell me. Someone said to me the other day, I was wearing a sweater vest, a t-shirt, a chain, some slacks,

and some loafers on Instagram.com, the website. I posted it to my Instagram story, and someone responded to me and said, not you dressed like a masked lesbian. Now, that's totally fine, but I want to say, who do you think masked lesbians are dressing like? Yeah, exactly. Give me a break. Folks, these ladies are dressing like boys. So you're telling me, a boy, that I'm dressed like a lady dressed like a boy?

Let's do some, that's the thing with the equations where you can divide both numbers and they go smaller? What's that called? Do you know what I'm saying? What are you saying? Do you know what I'm saying? Divide both numbers. If it's like 6 18ths, that actually comes down to a third. Like a fraction? Yeah. Simplify that fraction. Yeah. Thank you, Virginia. We could simplify that fraction. Yeah, we could. We could. Oh, honey, you can simplify that fraction. Yeah, we could, we could. Oh honey, you can simplify that fraction.

I'm dressed like a girl who's dressed like a boy. Hello! Yeah, it does feel like, well, I almost wanna live in that reality where it's like we forget all, where this is all coming from. Yeah. It's nice. What do you mean?

Like I wanna go- You wanna forget the origin of everything? Yeah, I do. That's nice. Yeah, isn't it? Just eliminate, well, I do think That's nice. Yeah, just eliminate Well, I do think it's because my fan base is so lesbian That they actually aren't capable of grasping that something happened before lesbian You know like to them lesbian is the original source material. Yes, and I love that

Yes, but I do I would love to be a part of the lesbian community I mean, I I have so many lesbian friends. I feel like I am sort of like, cosplaying. But you feel you've never been hit on by one of them? No. I feel that you have. Who's your number one lesbian friend? Um, well, does fight count? Yeah, well, they're, yeah, they're them these days.

Yeah. But I will, um. What are you calling them? I will give them a call. Ha ha ha. We haven't had them on the show yet, and we really need to. But let's just see. You must. Let's just see what they think. Shall we? Yeah, they're gonna be a fucking asshole. I know it. Oh, yeah.

They're a nasty individual. They're nasty. And they're not picking up. They might not answer. Yeah, they might be on a television or film set. This is horrific. Watch, I'm gonna call after. And they're gonna pick up. They pick up for me. Oh, this is so sick. I'm sick to my stomach right now. They probably know you're in here. Are you calling now? No, I'm gonna wait.

Okay. Your call has been pulled. Wow. Okay, now I'm starting. This will make me sick. If they pick up, we're in such trouble. This will make me sick. Someone did this to me in high school and I had my I Was trying to call I tried to call my friend she didn't pick up and then I was like to this other guy

I'm like call her right now. He called she picked up I'll never leave it down Should we leave a message? Yeah Are you calling them I'm calling Katie Kershaw We gotta leave a voicemail Hey Katie Katie, hey you're on you're you're live on so true with me and Lily Sullivan Katie Hi, Katie, we are so close, right? We're like BFFs.

We are, yes. Okay, well I wanted to ask, Lily has a theory, has brought up a theory on the pod that she has never been hit on by a lesbian. Do you find that believable? Oh. Are you taking a shit? I do you say that I gotta go I love you bye oh my god this is the worst day of my fucking life. Oh

My god, I think I'm actually gonna cry As if things like cuz I did not Lily you have to understand I didn't I'm sorry. I didn't know I was gonna go that way I did not think that was gonna go that way. It just literally like thinks they're like not good for me right now. Like I'm on so many fucking pills. I hope that the Cymbalta can... The Cymbalta's like not even working and like I'm shitting like crazy. And then now I find out that like no lesbians ever like me.

I've hit on you. That's really crazy dude. I'm so sorry. I never thought Katie would do that. What about Shelby? Do you think Shelby would say that I've been hit on? Just give her a call. This podcast can be whatever we want it to be. I don't care anymore. I don't fucking care anymore. Let's do some prank calls.

Yeah? Yeah. Okay, I'll do this one. Call Domino's. She'll be staying at my house in New York right now. Oh my god. As we speak. It says it's calling, but I don't get that vibe based on the no ringing.

Sometimes people who are on do not deserve New have to call them multiple times to get through. She sent you straight to voicemail, I think. No, I shouldn't have the chance. Oh, I accidentally checked my texts. And now I'm thinking about other stuff. Oh no, Caleb. I'm gonna walk back in with you though. Ask me to walk in. Hey, walk in with me.

So, Lily, in... In, uh, earlier in your life... Oh my god, the clipboard. Earlier in your life, here it says... So clipboard. Earlier in your life here it says. Look at the back. So you went to Bates College in Maine. You got an anthropology degree with a minor in theater, so you were destined to do podcasting.

Yeah. And in college, you did a show called Three in One. Oh my God. Tell me a little bit about that, would you? Oh my God. Would you tell me about that? Oh, it was a solo show. Yeah.

Yeah, senior year. Yeah. And I worked with the voice and speech coach who was this like Eastern European lady who was really scary and mean. And she directed me and we picked three pieces that I performed alone and I cannot tell you how, I mean it must have been fucking terrible.

Do you remember any of the pieces? One of them was like a woman who is calling a magazine and she's like, I know the woman in the photo. Give us a taste. Okay, it's like this. Hold on. It was like this, okay, I got the phone. Hold on, okay.

Action. Hi, I'm looking at your catalog and on page 57 with the wool Sherpa sweater with oatmeal cream undertones. Can I pause you? Yeah. This is so boring right now, but I'm wondering, does it get more exciting?

It gets really exciting. Okay, you. Yeah. This is so boring right now, but I'm wondering, does it get more exciting? It gets really exciting. Okay, action. Yeah. With the oatmeal cream undertones. Yeah. Overtones. And you know the woman in the photo, she's blonde, but she has sort of like strawberry undertones.

So I'm gonna pause you. Yeah. How much of this is about the undertones of different stuff gonna pause you. Yeah. How much of this is about the undertones of different stuff? Hardly any of it. Okay, action. Yeah, and she's wearing these dark jeans with sort of a blue undertone.

Ha ha ha! I know her. I know her, I remember her I Know her I remember her We worked together, but I'm gonna cut I'm gonna stop you there. Oh god. I'm exhausted was this actually the piece No, I don't remember the fucking Are you kidding be authentic on so true you think that I remember something from college. I barely remember what I had for like breakfast I remember what I had for fucking example for breakfast literally like Took me like 25 minutes to come up with breakfast. Do you believe in God?

What do you think um well I will say I was raised like nothing except for like Christmas I was raised like nothing I was raised like nothing Except for Christmas What are you doing? I got a text Is it from ER? No, it's from Katie. She said miss you. She's trying to make up for being a fucking bitch

Yeah, good fucking luck, sweetie She was such a fucking bitch, now she's fucking texting me Yeah, of course she is. This is sick This is sick And guess what? She didn't used to be like that. Yeah, so that's what I was gonna say. L.A. changed her. I tried to keep her in her place, make sure that she, you know, just like I'm doing with you.

Yeah, you're keeping me in my place. Didn't work. Yeah. And look at her now, nightmare. That could be you. I'm gonna change soon. I do wanna change soon. No, don't.

Yes, I wanna switch up soon. What, like you're gonna be mean to someone if they're waiting in the line for a coffee or something Yeah, I want to like I want to like for example like right now if I needed something from chance like right now I'd be like I'd be like chance would you mind is it okay? And I think soon I want to be like where the fuck is my thing like I want to get I want to turn in What I want to try it. Let me try okay. Do you mean a chance he doesn't mind? Um I had asked for ice

so Yeah, there's you're lacking Um I had asked for ice so Yeah, there's you're lacking It was a little bitchy I guess but it could use some intensity. Okay. Okay Maybe you'd like to call him some kind of name based on his appearance or something. Um Hey Kansas City bitch I Asked for fucking ice and I'm sitting here like a little Stupid idiot. Okay, don't don't ever insinuate that you're looking stupid in this what can I give you two notes? Yeah, please don't ever insinuate that you're looking stupid when you're dressing down someone else

Okay, and also instead of kin city a little bitch cuz that's not really an insult or a thing maybe go with like Action I can't. Come on! I can't. Okay, well you dodged my question about God. Okay, okay, this is how I feel about God. Hold on, let's reset, because we've done, this has been a silly interview. Let's reset and get serious. Okay, let's get serious! You deserve a serious interview.

Thank you. And I know I've been silly and I've been all over the place. Yeah. And God knows I called, and God knows I made five phone calls during the episode. It makes me feel like I'm not interesting enough, like you had to call other people. No, you're so interesting, Lily. I begged for you to be on this show. You said no a couple times. Yeah, I did. I did. And God knows I made five phone calls during the episode it makes me feel like I'm not interesting enough like you had to call Other people know you're so interesting Lily. I begged for you to be on this show. You said no a couple times

Yeah, I said that was really fucked up. I said no about like five times Yes, and so we finally got you in and I want to do a serious interview with you So let me walk in really quick. Do you mind if I take one second? Yeah, okay? I'm gonna do get into like drew. Yeah, you ready? Okay, everybody's good. We're still rowing Okay, so Lily Sullivan, um, do you believe in God? That's such a good question. Thank you Um, I do I believe in the concept. Yes. Okay. Do I believe in the concept? Yes. Okay.

Do I believe in he, she, they as a person? Right. No. So what does the concept mean to you? Tell me more about that. Like if I am up for a job

or like if I'm looking for a parking spot or if I'm Like really hoping that You know, for example my sea boat goes away. Yeah, I'm going to pray I'm gonna ask for him to be there. So let me just be clear really quick Yeah, you don't necessarily believe in the concept of an almighty force in the universe that promotes love and moves us towards good. You believe that you shouldn't have an upset tummy and should have a parking spot and a job. Absolutely. Okay.

Hahahaha That's how I feel about him. Okay, I love that. Him. Or she or they. Okay, nice. It depends. You know, if I'm asking for a parking spot, it's him. Yeah, and then... For stomach stuff, it's It depends it. You know if I'm asking for a parking spot. It's him Yeah, and then her stomach stuff. It's her yeah, and then of course we all know career stuff is that they yeah Yeah, of course. That's really interesting, but you know

My mom's family was Mormon broke away from the church broke away from the Mormon Church my grandparents did and so Literally, I am the most nothing that you can kind of be, except my dad like has Greek traditions on his side. Greek Orthodox? Greek Orthodox. So we do a lot of like cooking related traditions. Nice.

But I, it's so foreign to me that Tim and I once took a road trip and we stayed in Kearney, Nebraska, which is like a full-on megachurch town. We got like an Airbnb and it was like a McMansion in like a subdivision. Blue Lives Matter signs everywhere. And I was like, if we go in the house, there's a massive crown of thorns. I'm not kidding, like a six-foot diameter. That's what they put on Jesus's head. That big. Jesus was fucking huge. He was huge. No one talks about him.

No one talks about that. He was massive. He was so big, you guys. Do you think Jesus was hung? Well, not from the cross. He was. I know the thing, I was like, um. It's just, you know, here's the thing.

No, I do, I think he had a big cock. Jesus was an actual man in the story. And if that's true, he had a cock. He absolutely had a cock. And you have to wonder, was it curved? Was it veiny? Was it big? Was it small?

This is what I think it was. First of all, I think it was uncircumcised. Nice. That's pretty cool. That's awesome. I don't think we're supposed to be cutting the skin off those things. I don't think so either.

Yeah. Yeah. So he's uncircumcised. I think it's big, but it's like medium big. You know? It's not too big that it so either. Yeah. Yeah. So he's uncircumcised. I think it's big, but it's like medium big, you know? It's not too big that it's like painful. Yeah. But it's like a grower. Yeah.

It's medium big and it's a grower. Yeah, well it would just be so funny to think about worshiping a God who has Edie. You know what I mean? It would just be so funny to think about, if we did the historical research to find out that Jesus couldn't come and he wasn't even on antidepressants or whatever.

He just couldn't, he couldn't come. He couldn't come. It'd be like, oh man, what a guy to worship. He was kind of edging until his death. Yeah, aw, that's beautiful actually. Isn't that nice? I don't know why I went negative because that could be beautiful.

It's happy. Yeah, but there was a crown of thorns in the apartment or house. In the house, massive crown of thorns, Bible apartment or house in the house massive crown of thorns Bible sayings everywhere Which like maybe you're more Tim's more used to like growing up with people who are that religious. Yeah, so like the whole house He was like he's like, yeah, it's not that weird And I'm like every single wall had like Jesus nailed to the cross like really violently and I was like so fucking terrified I was like, can you hold my hand like when we were going to sleep? I was like, I'm so scared

Yeah, like it's terrifying to me the imagery. Yeah, I'm so scared. Yeah. Like, it's terrifying to me. Some of the imagery. Yeah, I think it would be for someone who's not used to it. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely grew up around a lot of that imagery. It's a weird, you know what's funny, is the number of, like, Christians

I know from my hometown that are like, we don't want drag queen story hours in schools. And I'm like, I grew up listening to, like, detailed descriptions of people's flesh burning in hell. Exactly. Somebody in a dress reading a book does not even touch the surface of what I heard as a kid, but the juxtaposition of that is very funny to me.

It's outrageous. They can't see that. I'm like, you guys took us to a hell house where you depicted people burning in hell, screaming and writhing, and drag queens are not okay. Crazy. Crazy. But yeah, it is, okay? Yes. Crazy. Crazy.

But yeah, it is. It's tough imagery. That's what they need. They need it. It's fear. It's a fear-based MLM. It is. It is MLM.

It's a fear-based MLM. I've never even thought of it that way, but yeah. Well, I'm, you know, you don't have to, don't get down on yourself for not thinking of it that way. I'm a bit of a poet and a philosopher and I oftentimes will frame things in a way that... Don't get too high on your horse, okay? Oh. Come back down to earth for a second.

Was I getting... You were getting really, I'm sorry. Really outrageous. Sorry, was I? I don't even notice it, isn't that scary? You were becoming fully like LA Nightmare first. Really? Yeah.

Oh God, I... I know. I did not know that. And actually there's a blank space in my mind where the moment happened. I blacked out just now. I know, that's a blank space in my mind where the moment happened. I blacked out just now I know that's how it happens. Fuck dude. I know I did I mention my follower count? Cuz I blacked out and I'm worried I know I'm blacked out and I worried I mentioned my follower count don't do it

Okay, no, we didn't hear and we don't want to know Stop, I know you want to say it. I know you're itchy to fucking say it. Not even on one platform I couldn't say it. Wait, I have something for you. Put on those headphones. We've got a voicemail from our fans. You know, the fans asked us to bring this back, so I'm trying to remember to do it.

Our fans are very involved in the show. It really seems like it. And I do wonder if they like me many of them. They listen. I've heard, yeah, I mean it seems like a lot of controversy. There's a lot of controversy in the So True Niverse. It's the epitome of controversy on here. It's the epitome of controversy in the So True Niverse. So True Niverse. What do we have? Are your fans so true to this? Hi, Caleb and esteemed guest. This is Zia. And I need to know the truth of why everyone's book recommendations these days are just fantasy smut

books that aren't good. What is going on with this? Why is that the only thing women kind of specifically are reading now these days? Thank you, have a good day. Women, kind of, specifically, obsessed with VIA. Wow. Obviously obsessed with VIA.

I mean. What are you, I'm getting, yeah, a lot of women in my life are recommending fantasy to me. Yeah. Yeah. I think more and more. It's not my thing, but I have tons of friends who are. Well, perhaps women are getting into fantasy because reality is so bad It's a really good point. Don't you feel that's why I watch reality TV

To run away to run away from reality. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I think One of my friends actually we started a book club and they were like What's going on down there? I was just playing with my shoe But I was listening to you in a really big way. One of my friends recommended this book and she was like, we should all start reading this for like our book club. And it was, it like starts with this like girl, like, you know, she's depressed. She moves to Santa Monica and to her like,

her sister's house. She's like hanging out there. And then like halfway through she starts like meets this merman in in Santa Monica Pier and then they start fucking. And she brings him a wheelbarrow back to the house and he eats her tampon and all this crap. Does she have a pool for him to live in or something?

No, he just stays on land. Well that's why he's eating her tampon. He's all out of sorts. Yeah, exactly. Otherwise he'd be eating trash in the ocean. Well yeah, you'd be eating freaking kelp. And sushi and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sushi, sugar fish.

Oh my god. That's about as close...let me tell you something about sugar fish. Tell me. That's about as close as you can get to eating fish in the ocean. That stuff is fresh. That stuff is fresh as all get out. And they're just laying fish over rice. Don't ask them for a dynamite sauce.

Don't ask them for sauce. They don't even give soy sauce. They do. Never. Never in my life. We'll cut this. Lily, they do. Trying to save me. Lily, stop. You want to have a career in this town.

Lily, if you want to work, please cut this and delete the file. I'm so sorry, please delete. Lily they do. No yeah. I'm literally nervous. Their stuff is fresh though. It's so fresh. I couldn't believe how fresh it was.

The way that that salmon hit my lips, down my gullet. You're kidding but they're toasted sesame salmon. I mean all jokes aside. Absolutely fantastic. Hell of a piece. Hell of a piece. Hell of a piece of sushi. I've been going, this is one of the things that is out of control about me lately, to Erwan.

Okay, never been. And going to this. I've never stepped foot in an Erwan. I had never gone until probably six months ago. I can't do it. I mean, it's absolutely, everything wrong with everything. It's a cursed ground. It is, it is. It's offensive. Everything's so expensive, it's absolutely, everything wrong with everything. It's a cursed ground. It is, it is.

It's offensive. Everything's so expensive, it's psychotic. But anyway, they have this area where all their sushi is, and I have been getting these little sushi sandwiches that are like, they make the fried rice. Crispy rice. Crispy rice as bread. Yeah.

And it's fucking incredible. Shit, that's enough to make me wanna step foot in an arrow one for the first time. What's in the middle, like spicy tuna? Yeah, spicy tuna, crab, and I think some salmon too. Fuck, is the crab one really good? It's really, really good. Fuck, this is really disturbing

because I've been so proud of myself for never going. Because you know how in Hocus Pocus, the witches can't set foot on the cemetery? I view it opposite, where it's like the bad people can only set foot in Arowans, and if I avoid it, they can't get to my energy. But now that I know about this piece of sushi... It's the only thing that I go there for, because I'm not about to spend like nine dollars on an apple. Well have you heard about those shakes? Have you heard about that $25 Justin Well, have you heard about their shakes? Have you heard about that $25 Justin Bieber?

Well, have you heard about their shakes? These folks are getting out of control. Hailey Bieber smoothie. Hailey Bieber smoothie. Hailey Bieber smoothie. I did not get that out, did I? I sometimes on this show can't stop from going into a persona.

Yeah, I know. What do you think that means about me? I think it means you're running from who you are and therapy could be really good. I'll recommend someone. That's one angle. I also think I just studied characters in Chicago, much like you, and now I have an illness.

Well, yeah, I do too, especially with being fake mean to people. I do it all the time, and I'm like, I really got to stop. It's a disease now. And it's like certain people like- Nice comment, ugly bitch. Yeah, exactly. Like, why are you, what?

Exactly, and then I'm like, I didn't know that person that well. What are you gonna, Lily, let me ask you a question. Okay. What are you gonna do with all this talent of yours? What do you want? What's the dream? If I gave you $2 million and I said, Lily?

Two million? Yeah, I guess that's not that much, is it? I'd give you $2 million and I said, Lily? Two million? Yeah, I guess that's not that much, is it? I'd give you $5 million. Okay, there we go, now we're talking. And I said, go make the Lily Sullivan project. What is it? Is it a sketch show? No. Is it a film? You would never make a sketch show?

You're so talented at characters. No, I don't like sketch. Really? No. Oh, you're so talented at it, Lily. This makes me sick. What? You're so good at characters. But sketch is just not appealing to me.

I would rather do like a show where we're like, you know, we're all in character. It's like me and my close friends just like getting to be like play one character really well going through like nightmare scenarios. Yeah. That seems like heaven to me. Okay, so a show like that.

A show like that. Perhaps. But I would rather do something like narrative than sketch show. It's not appealing to me. Okay, so a show like that. A show like that. Perhaps. But I would rather do something like narrative than a sketch show. It's not appealing to me. Yeah, narrative. It's like having to think of like little things all the time is really exhausting for sketch.

Instead of like locking in on this character over a long arc. Yeah, I like that better. I love that for you. Yeah, well, we'll see. When do I get the five million? I don't have it right now, but I am working on it. Oh my God.

Will you please put that on and leave it there? I can't. Golly, I mean, you bring someone on your podcast. So. It's because you've messed with the angle of the mic, and now it's butting up against the apparatus. Well, I'm just like, it's not built for short people. Will you insist?

It is. It's built. Plenty of people your height have sat there. It's that you insist on. You took off your shoes. You're sitting on your legs. You're turning totally sideways. Your camera angle's going to be a mess. What are you talking about? Profile is good, like this sideways. Your camera angle's gonna be a mess.

What are you talking about? Profile is good, like this. Your camera angle's gonna be a mess. You keep knocking off the gospel. How do I look right now? See, thank you. He has paid to say stuff like that. They tell you in photos, Gen Z tells you, Caleb,

to turn your body and then you turn your head. I'm not listening to these kooks. I learned a lot of their poses. Gen Z? head. I'm not listening to these kooks. I learned a lot of their poses. Jin Z? Yeah. I'm not listening to Jin Z. This is sunflower? Just kidding, I love them.

Sunflower like this? Yeah. Huge. Do you know what? Oh my God, Lily. Lily. What? I felt 200 years old recently.

What happened? I went to the University of Pittsburgh to do a talk. Okay? Okay. I did a talk to the students. Oh my God. I was chatting with the young woman who, she must have been 19.

She was so young. She was so young. She must have been 19! She must have been 19. She's all of 19 years old in a day. Okay. She's 50 pounds soaking wet with a brick in each pocket. Okay, she's a tiny

little thing. Wow. And I go to the college and she's the one that's going to be moderating my conversation. Okay. Okay. She and I are chit chatting a little bit beforehand. I start asking her what she's interested in. She says she loves YouTube and she's interested in making films. She was a very bright young woman. Yeah. I really enjoyed chatting with her and getting to know her and spending some time with her. I really had a good time with her. Okay. However, however, in our conversation, she said some things to me that felt to me like I was being spoken to in Sanskrit.

She was speaking, she was speaking to me in ways I had never heard or understood. What are you talking about? She goes, I go, she goes, I love YouTube. I go, Oh, what do you watch on there? She goes, Oh, like flip-opin' the Dors boys. You know, I'm locked in on like James Darbledoop. Oh my God, please tell me you're in on like the Crumple Tum universe. Are you on Crumple Tum Twins universe?

And I'm like, I literally, at one point I had to say, what the fuck are you talking about? And she shows me, and she shows me, and then she goes, she shows me one of the videos, and she goes, she goes, yeah, this is like the 300th video. You'd have to watch a lot to understand the context, because it doesn't seem good without the context. And I was like, what's the context?

And she was like, well, they're playing this game. And I was like, oh, so they're like game streamers. And she was like, no, no one cares about the game. It's like the commentary during the game. And I was like, so do you win the game? She's like, no, you just make them do absurd things, the characters. What? She's talking to me in a way that I felt like I was like, so do you win the game? She's like, no, you just make them do absurd things, the characters. What?

She's talking to me in a way that I felt like I was having a stroke. But she was, by the way, she was so smart and so, like I really felt that she was locked into something cool, but I can't grasp it. And I said, I'm cooked. It's over for me. Was this during the interview or this is after?

This is before. Okay, before. We were sitting in the room, in the little holding room. So that's good, you felt really old before you went on stage. Yeah, we were sitting in the conference room that they called a green room, and I was sipping on some water and Diet Coke.

I had a lovely time, by the way. Have you spent much time in Pittsburgh? Only, well, when I was on tour this summer, I stopped there but for one day. And it seems so great. It's a beautiful town. The University of Pittsburgh could not be a more beautiful city.

I love the amount they paid me to come. I had a fantastic time. Yeah, and University of Pittsburgh, if you want me to come, I'm happy to go. Just give her a check. For the same fee as Caleb. It was so incredible. I had a great time.

I really did, I loved it. The University of Pittsburgh, the buildings in Pittsburgh are beautiful. And I love going there. I've said this on the show before. You can look back at the records, listeners. I love doing Bottle Rocket. B I love going there. I love, I've said this on the show before, you can look back at the records listeners. I love doing Bottle Rocket. Bottle Rocket hit me up and said,

do you wanna do a show after your talk? Wow. And I said, no, I'm tired, but I love that. So, you know, my point really was. You love Pittsburgh. I love Pittsburgh. And you felt old. And I felt ancient. I have a question for you.

Okay. What's so true to you, Lily Sullivan? This is a hard question. Yeah, but it's the point of the show. Does it have to be deep? No, not at all, but you could. I was gonna go not deep. That's fine.

Just we'll cut this part. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha guess what's so true to me is that a shower can be life changing. But by the way, you're right. It's absolutely that is deep in many ways. Think about that. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on, stop. Let's just think about that. Wait a minute. A shower can be life-changing. Yeah.

Because what are you talking about there? Access to clean water, plumbing. What are you talking about there? Getting clean, washing your sins away. I'm scared. Is this? Hold on. That actually can be deep.

Is this getting religious? Eventually. That's probably where this all goes, right? Is this getting religious? Eventually. That's probably where this all goes, right? Is this a Jesus part? Don't you think me sitting in front of three cameras with a microphone eventually takes that turn? I would join your church. Would you?

Yeah. Good. If you were like, hey, come to my youth group, and we were in high school, I would probably be like, OK, maybe. But we're not. What if I was my age and you were? That would be really tough for me okay so you

wouldn't join my church now no you'd have to catch me young you'd have to like a lot of my listeners are young really we ladies do me a favor hey so true truthers um guys in the comments of this episode just um say whether or not you join a religion if I joined one and be ever I made if I made one and just be really serious so I can just get a head count on who would be into it. Yeah, and then go ahead and you're gonna wanna go ahead and Venmo me.

What? At l-a-l-y- Cut this. S-u-l-l-i-b-a-n Cut this. At Venmo.com. Go ahead and send me your favorite $50 or $100 or more. Why would they do that? Because you know that your girls got you. That doesn't make any sense. Go ahead and send me your favorite $50 or $100 or more

Because you know that your girls got you that doesn't make any sense Why would you do I would they send that to you and don't you forget? Double your double your gift this Saturday. Why would they double it on Saturday? Double it up Also, what did you mean by your girls got you? Go ahead your girls got you guys You ain't gonna forget about it. You're bleeding from the eyes Got you and you ain't gonna forget about it. Oh, you're bleeding from the eyes. Don't you? Don't you forget but hey a shower can be it can it literally has always been my trick for if I'm feeling Depressed yeah, apparently I am Your therapist tricked you I'm gonna give you this pill for anxiety

Like massive depression no you know what makes me sick to my stomach? Tell me. The fact that if I'm feeling badly, if I do this order of things, turn my phone off, make my bed, drink one to seven glasses of water, shave, take a shower, and go on a walk. Yes. And that sounds like a lot of things,

but that's maybe an hour and a half. If I do every one of those things, there is a 90% chance that I will get return on investment happiness within the day. And that's disgusting. That makes me sick. It's so hard to leave on the walk, I gotta say. It's getting harder and harder for me.

On my fucking mental health walk, I'm just always like, oh, I should do it, and I hate it. Yeah, because it's none of the stuff I pine for. No. I don't pine for being clean and moving my body. No. I pine for a beautiful whirlwind romance and a billion dollars. Wait, I want to say, though, your shower so true was really good.

Thank you. And I want you to stop discounting yourself. I'm not. What did I say? You are deep. That was a deep thought. You said this isn't deep. That was deep. You're right. Thank you. I want you to stop discounting yourself. I'm not That was a deep thought you said this isn't deep that was deep you're right It was you stop thinking Lily. I know the way you walk around the world You think you're you think you're not you think you're not deep you think you're unserious You think your sweater is ugly and your purse doesn't match Your outfit you think your car is a piece of shit. You think your sweater's ugly and your purse doesn't match your outfit. You think your car's a piece of shit.

You think your characters are strange. You think, you think, you think that GI detector quick because you're shit. Yeah, you think, you think, you think your fucking psychotherapist f***ed yourself because your problems were too heavy. I'm here to tell you. That none of, most of that, some of that is not true. It's like, I didn't actually know any of that some of that is not true It's like I didn't actually know any of that stuff Like I'm just walking around my life and everyone's like you're depressed

You need to stop talking bad about yourself Tim's hiding some balta and cold cuts Approaching me with a steady hand. Absolutely. No, I love you to death. I just love you. I love you. The So True was good. You're right about the So True, by the way. Yeah.

Do you want to play a game? Of course. Get the clipboard. Lily. Lily. And they gave me a gay clipboard, too. You know they make these things out of wood and steel Yours is plastic and purple. Give me the freaking Target pride collection

Which by the way your whole outfit is Target pride, isn't it? They dress me like this Come in here. What's this stuff on me? Really chance before every episode. He gives me a gay prep like a pep talk He goes he goes don't forget to be a little loose with the wrists and say something pithy Cuz he knows what sells have you done enough of that this episode. I feel like you should add some more in yeah Hold on. What's the real quick? bitch Or honey, did you guys have something I could sound off on um yeah, can you sound off on? He does drive the money on parking spots girl if you're a parking spot, and you're too small for my car

Let's get real honey because I can't fit my car in there bitch. You need to make it bigger so I can back in Queen That's really good That's it. Well. That's it worth it factor will pay three or four thousand dollars to put an ad on this one That's good stuff. Well Lily okay, or should I say Queen? Yes You don't have to do it. Yes! Lily, we've got a segment for you. True or false segment. I'm going to read you 15 statements and you're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false. And Lily, if you get 10 or more correct, for your prize I'm going to give you 50 US dollars!

Oh my god! So, are you ready? Yes. Remember, speed is of the essence. Answer as quickly as you can. Jesus, okay. A crocodile cannot move its tongue. False.

True. The world's biggest pyramid is in Egypt. True. False. Mexico. There are more cars than saunas in Finland. What? True.

False. Bryant Gumbel went to the University of Iowa. True. False. He went to Bates College where you went to school. What? He did? Disco means I learn in Latin. Um, false. That's true. You haven't gotten a single one right. I think you've already lost the game.

This might be the worst one we've ever had. I gotta get them all wrong. You broke the microphone again. I gotta get them all wrong. Snails don't sleep. Okay. Snails don't sleep. That's true. False. They can sleep for up to three years at a time. A full moon is nine times brighter than a half moon. True. That's true! Oh my god we've never celebrated so little of a victory. Teddy Errico is the current mayor of Telluride, Colorado. True. True. You transfer more germs shaking hands than kissing. False.

True. Diane Keaton is a master scuba diver. True. False, she is not. There are more trees on earth than stars in the Milky Way galaxy. False. True.

There's a Burger King at the corner of North and Wells in Chicago. North and Wells? A Burger King. True. False, it's a McDonald's. You spend a lot of time in that area. North and Wells. It is impossible to sneeze while you're sleeping. False. True. Russia and the United States are 2.4 miles apart at their closest point. True. True. The average dog can understand about 10 words. I'm literally not listening to the questions. I'm just saying. True. The average dog can understand about 10 words. I'm literally not listening to the questions I'm just saying. The average dog can understand about 10 words.

True. False. Over 150. How'd she do? 150? She got three. She got three. Three.

Three out of how many? 15. What? 15? Yeah, there were 15 in there. Wow. And so. Feeling so good. I don't want to do this to you, but I think you owe me money

We've never had to do this You needed to get ten and people do that. Oh With some regularity. Yeah, I literally started to black out when you were saying the questions and I was like, okay I got it. Like I'll just instinctively know yeah, and then of course, I obviously didn't I don't want to be hard on you Cuz it's obviously just a silly game, but you did get more wrong in a row out of the gate than I think we've ever seen just so you know no it's all good it's all good it's awesome are you okay because we can cut all the like it's fine did you want to fix the microphone to or do I need to I just for the I think headgum likes it to be on there Because they head gun a podcast company Do you want to do that? This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum

Hold on cut and action This is a headgum podcast. That's beautiful. We use that they can actually use that for the company now you do it I want to hear yours. This is a head-gum podcast. Do you want to do actually an ad for So True, just while we have you? Yeah. Do you mind looking straight to camera and just telling them kind of what the show is about and... Just like in an accent? Yeah, and talk about me and talk me up and stuff like that as well. Okay. Sure.

Okay. Action. This is an awesome time to start listening to a very important podcast called So True with an incredible man, an actor, person, writer, comedian, director, philanthropist, single gay guy, single gay guy, Caleb Heron. We're putting some applause there. Listen now on HeadGum. You'll have to keep going. Or YouTube. Thank you, Lily. That was beautiful.

Was it good? It was really, really good. It was really, really good. It seems like you're cutting like most of the podcast. Me, for real? Yeah. Will you be serious for one second? Are you worried about me?

Are you worried about me? Worried about you how? In any way. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you.

I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about second? Are you worried about me? Are you worried about me? Worried about you how? In any way. What do you think of me? I think you're awesome. Really? I think you're killing it. Oh wow. And I think, yeah, you should get a therapist. Everyone in this industry needs one. Do you really think that? Because I feel pretty balanced. What do you guys are close to me? Do you think I need it therapy?

Get that oh look at that the answer is they're doing like a fake pain that they're in trouble thing These are my closest friends not everyone There be at least for a little bit everyone does not need that. Yes, they do No, what is not true you guys that. Literally. Do you think everyone needs therapy? Yeah. Like everyone. Who doesn't? Well, I think I'm a pretty good case for not needing it.

You don't think you have any trauma to unpack? Oh, of course I have trauma to unpack, but I've done most of it. What is some freaking person gonna tell me about me? Oh, I think your dad was a part of your boof. Oh, growing up fat and gay and misery, boof. Come on, y'all.

Yeah, I mean. Sounds like I'm doing okay, though. I'm just think, you know, like it's amazing. You just open all these doors. You find out like you're depressed. You find think, you know, like it's amazing you just open all these doors you find out like you're depressed you find out Yeah, you know your side or whatever. You never know. Sounds like only bad stuff happens in there. You know what I think about life, I'm trying to ride this sucker till the wheels fall off. I'm just trying to have fun I'm trying to have fun until the good Lord calls me home.

Is this part of the part where you're like trying to be gay? Hold on, let me try that again. Queen, let me tell you something about this thing called life, honey. Yes. Again, you don't have to be gay. The ads don't care if you're gay. You're the guest. For sure. So why are you doing that?

I got it. No, for sure. Okay, Queen. Come on, Queen. No. You got it. Come on, Queen. You get to be straight. Slay.

I guess you could say slay. Oh straight woman would do that sleigh But yeah, I'm trying to ride this thing till the wheels fall off. I'm trying to have fun in this sucker Yeah, I think you're doing a good job at that. I'm gonna start calling life this sucker This sucker, I mean I agree I feel like I'm like fully, um, what is going on with the shoes? I'm obsessed with them. I can't, I'm never unshoe'd in here and now I'm addicted to them. That's what I feel like I have to. I feel grounded on the headgum carpet. This episode's been too silly. Oh no, you're not gonna release it. You're not gonna release it. This episode can't come out. It's been far too silly.

I was trying to be serious the whole time. No you weren't. I asked you what you thought about God. Yeah? And you didn't even do that for me. Yeah I did. I answered. You went like, oh when I need a parking spot, they're non-binary. No, I said it was he.

You told us that you're on Symbalta. None of that was particularly serious. You can't release any of this, by the way. We did have a guest recently go on a pretty long rant about something very funny and personal, and then tell us To take it out. I know and so I'm worried that you'll do that with the symbolic stuff. I don't care I know cuz you're a cool girl. I don't mind anyone knowing what medication I'm on. I don't the whole HIPAA thing

I'm like why yeah, I don't think it was where you talk about yourself Your doctors can't tell people I'm like like, go ahead, doctor. Tell them. Go tell them. Go get on TikTok. Your doctor can't tell anyone anything. You see your doctor on TikTok being like, her shit. Her shit was so messed up. So story time, I got a bag of shit from a patient and I quit my practice that I worked

on for 15 years. So I went to the mall that I work at. So I went to the dumpster that I run my practice out of. I was brought a bag of shit. I opened my takeout bag thinking it was lunch. No, no, no. So I opened the gallon freezer Ziploc that I sent my patient home with full of her shit.

It was so raunchy that I quit. Yeah, it was like, you know, it was one of the most dramatic things I've ever been through. Really? Pretty charmed life. It was really, no I'm kidding. That's it. No, it's very, I've had much worse.

Okay. Yeah, don't worry. Don't worry. I've got this little throat thing right now. What's going on, COVID? It's making my laugh sound like Weezer could be. Yeah? Fuck if I care.

Well, you never care. I don't care. I don't care. If I've got COVID in here, y'all getting it too. No, I'm kidding. That's not. If I've got COVID, honey, you're getting it too. No, I cared about COVID deeply.

And I still do. I was a joke. If it's COVID, I would hate that. And I hope I'm not. But I don't think it's I think it's the weather change. Yeah, I came from New York City. Yeah, LA and that's a big difference in countries for sure Or cities cities. Yeah. Well, they feel like different countries preach

Go off king Just want me to be good. No, I know but I just thought yes And and like support and like okay, obviously we'll cut all this but you just obviously no I was really worried about you what but I'm like like I was saying like I'm fine Just like being gay for the podcast and like it's okay people like think I'm bi Okay, okay, just you know podcasting is an ad-based business and it's how I make my money? Well, I just think I would help sell the product. Well, I called three lesbians to talk about you and only one picked up.

And what she said was that you have a vibe that is completely unlesbian. So I think you pretending to be here on the podcast is gonna hurt more than it helps. Really? A little bit. Okay, that's totally fair to say and everything and like I just want you to Know like I support you. Are you gonna cry like no?

No, I'm fine. Like these not in the so true universe Seriously, like it's awesome to be here and I'm like having a lot of fun. Like the look was like super good Can I say this podcast was way too silly? We did too silly. We did too many silly little bits. It's not what people tune in for to this show. Yeah, for sure. So we need to try and get in some serious stuff at the end. Yeah, like can we talk about something like intellectual or like I'm happy to learn? Yeah, what's your favorite global event of recent?

I can't say 9-11. No, because that's not that recent. Also would be weird to call it a favorite, I think. It was just like a big, very impactful one. Oh, it was incredibly impactful. Two huge impacts, actually. It was sort of the foundation. Well, three or four if you count the field and the pint of that. Definitionally what happened. Okay.

See, but we're being silly again. Okay, sorry. Okay, so. Sorry, what do you think Trump's America is going to look like the second time around? Because he won. Yeah. Fair and square. Okay, so sorry. What do you think Trump's America is gonna look like the second time around? Cuz he won yeah fair and square well, it's really really tough Okay, what Do you want me to be serious? Yes? Yes, that's why I say we just looked like you were gearing up for a bit No, I'm being serious. This is no laughing matter. No for sure. I mean he won

No by a lot He really did that's scary scary but what do you um I I don't I don't see it being like positive okay I see it being pretty negative okay I think we just do silly I think let's just have a silly episode. That was really hard for me. That was not yeah. I was really trying though. Yeah I think we'll do silly. Okay. We'll just do silly. Yeah we'll talk about your cheese wheel or something. Are you talking about my pussy? No kidding. Yeah that's what they want. William. Caleb. It's been incredible to have you here. Thank you so much for having me.

Will you please tell the people where they can find you? I'm a huge fan of yours as you well know. And I would like for all of my fans to be fans of yours. Would you tell them where they can find you? You can find me on Instagram. There's two Lily Sullivans and I'm not the hot Australian one. I'm not the hot young successful Lily Sullivan. I'm the other one.

And my handle is very confusing. It's Lily, L-A-L-Y, and then Y-I-L-Y. But if you search Lily Sullivan, it's just the second one down. I'm not as hot. I'm smaller. I'm older. I'm not as hot. I'm smaller. I'm older. I'm less successful. You should change your handle to small old.

And get all this out of the way in the headline. I'm at small old. This is why you're so good at this. Yeah, I'm a marketing genius. You really are. You're an angel. This is why you're so good at this. Yeah, I'm a marketing genius. You really are. You're an angel. I think you're so funny.

I want you to know. Thank you. We've got time if you want to say any more stuff like that. No, that's it. That was really hard, honestly. Thank you for being on. I love you. I'm so glad you could come.

Thank you for having me. I love you too. This was amazing. The best. And I just, do you mind real quick if I love you. I'm so glad you could come. Thank you for having me, I love you too. This was amazing. The best. And I just, do you mind real quick if I just do a disclaimer for the audience? Yeah, but can I do mine after you?

Yes. Guys, and if we're being honest, mostly girls. And a lot of theys. So why even put guys in there? Girls and theys. I know that today's episode with Lily was untenably silly. And I just want to say to you that is not a reflection of how we feel about what's going on in the world we are deeply concerned about many many things going on both domestically here at home and

globally overseas well and I want you guys to please let me finish Thanks, son and And I want you guys to know that just because I have on somebody who's silly that pushes me towards silly and I meet them where they are I care about you all and I hope you're doing well and We will not have an episode this silly in the future. You shouldn't point because it's too aggressive. You should go like this Even though I brought someone on who's silly and pushes me in the direction of silly

We will not be doing an episode this silly again. Well, you do you want to do anything? Yeah I'm I just wanted to say that the things that I put on this podcast While extremely true and at times offensive were We're not meant to offend anyone. And if you can, now would be a great time to open that app, Frenmo. Which is a blue logo. Go ahead and click. Go up to the search persons and you're gonna search Lily Sullivan. And it's not me and you're gonna search Lily Sullivan And it's not me you're gonna go one down Hot one not the hot young one who's successful

And you're gonna want to just send me what you can donate Donate okay, I could use whatever you can give. I think we both know this is not going in Please I asked you not to do this anymore You're doing fine. Please send what you can at this time. My CBO. The CBO. Billy, before you go really quick,

do you wanna fuck, marry, kill the guys from Comedy Bang Bang? Can they do them all? All of them? All of them. Do you wanna fuck, marry, kill all of them? I do. Okay.

That was a hate gum podcast.