So True with Caleb Hearon - Liza Treyger Returns

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. I just love that, you know, I hired PR and they were, I was like, you really don't need to come to Caleb's show. He's my good friend and I feel like I've ruined my career before it started. Well, you also tried to fight, start a fight with me yesterday. What about? You didn't invite me to your party on Tuesday. I had to send a screenshot proving this, but I have fucked up before, so I was like, maybe I didn't.

Starting point is 00:00:30 This happens every, I've lost a friend every party I've thrown. Every party I've thrown, someone is pissed, and I'm like, but why are you putting more weight on a pothead inviting you than what I truly do feel for you? You knew I was a snake when you picked me up Honey Why are you mad at me for forgetting something? It's all I do

Starting point is 00:00:51 Yes, yeah, that is how it felt, but I was gonna say I get I live above a coffee shop So I get coffee every single day there. Yeah, you know it's straight past after soul cycle or right out of bed like so today They were all kind of stunned. Yeah that you looked like we are done up. Yeah, if I look even a bit they're like, ooh. And so today they're like, we love your shirt. It was exciting. Oh my god, well you do look great. Because usually I look fresh.

Starting point is 00:01:17 Sometimes I don't even brush my teeth, I just run downstairs. That's okay. Oh yeah, they don't mind. That's how it is sometimes. They don't care, I tip a lot, and if they give me a free one, I tip even more. Yeah, that's the truth Oh, I you know, I'm good for business

Starting point is 00:01:27 I'm spending ten dollars on a coffee if it's six with a four dollar tip if you give me a free coffee I'm tipping 12. I'm talking 15. Yeah, you're getting all that. It's going straight to you Give me a free coffee if you see me That's what you have to do cuz then one day I'm not gonna be able to get a package and they're gonna hold it for me Yeah, you know what I mean? It's not's not like, it's community or is it transaction? I never really know. No, it's the definition of community because you're not doing it in exchange for them doing that

Starting point is 00:01:51 and if they didn't do it for you, you would stop. No, I'm doing it for the youth to follow their passions at their day job. Unless they're rich kids, that's what's tough. If they're rich, I don't wanna, like, let me know. Yeah, there should be, everyone should have a marker. Like, are you working for fun because you have to learn what the real world's like

Starting point is 00:02:05 So you can take over your dad's company or are you here really trying to make it as a photographer? Everyone should have an emblem on their sleeve That says their income what's your income? Let's start getting serious. Yeah, we want equality. Let's start. Let's put it out there I don't want to be nice to you if you make more money than me. Fuck you. How's that? Yeah, and once your emblem changes and when you're below me, then'll be charitable towards you. I don't want to tip someone who's obviously making me look bad. No the thing is Lisa I'm kind of being serious. I'm like I agree with what you're saying. Yeah it's but you know they are young. I am older now it's weird I had like a heart to heart with a T-Mobile employee that

Starting point is 00:02:42 was 24. Yeah. He was like I majored in journalism now I'm here at T-Mobile and that was 24. He was like, I majored in journalism, now I'm here at T-Mobile. And I was like, you gotta get experience. That's an industry where you need to learn, you need to get better. You're also interacting with, look at you, look at you updating my phone. I'm like, you're getting skills?

Starting point is 00:02:57 You could report the news, you're reporting to me on what's wrong with my phone. Yeah, that's beautiful. So, yeah, I feel like an elder, it's weird. Do you think you're wise enough to be an elder? I've always been wise. I don't follow my own advice, but I've always been very helpful to people.

Starting point is 00:03:10 Yeah, you're a great advice giver. Yeah, I'm always there for others as I sit alone in my home making beaded bracelets, watching a show I've seen 55 times. You give me advice. The upkeep of the apartment maybe falls through the cracks. No, I've gotten so much better. It's honestly, well,

Starting point is 00:03:24 because I started taking the pills again. It's the well, butrin, it's the well, butrin, well, butrin work. Can I say on the pod what happened? You were worried about me. I was worried. Well, because I let everyone know we had plans, but I was being really psycho and I was like, I'm going to try to cancel or we have to go immediately right by my apartment to eat or,

Starting point is 00:03:45 and I'm ordering buttered noodles and you're gonna judge me. But- That's not even what happened. What happened is you did cancel and we said, no, you're not canceling on us. We worked really hard to make these plans. Our schedules are really intense.

Starting point is 00:03:55 We were gonna do this dinner. And then Lisa said, Caleb, do you wanna come over to my place? It's a little messy. You might be worried about me. And I go, oh my God, I've seen a messy apartment. I've had a messy apartment. I'm not gonna be worried about you.

Starting point is 00:04:04 I walked in the door about two seconds after being in there. I said I go, oh my God, I've seen a messy apartment, I've had a messy apartment, I'm not gonna be worried about you. I walked in the door about two seconds after being in there I said, hey, grab my hand. I'm worried about you. I said, hey, honey, come here. I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this, something's gotta give. And it has, it's giving.

Starting point is 00:04:22 I got back on the Wellbutrin and now I'm wearing a lip color. You know, it does kind of work, it's Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving. I got back on the Wellbutrin, and now I'm wearing a lip color. It does kind of work. It's crazy. But, and my cleaning lady's been helping me a lot too, but I wanted to clean for her finally, because she spends so much time putting clutter away that she's not able to get in there.

Starting point is 00:04:39 And so, I was like, are you impressed? She's like, I'm proud of you. And we had a nice little chat. But, and I'm getting rid of more and more stuff. And she said she'll take everything I don't need. So now I have an exit plan. That's beautiful. Well, I was gonna leave it for on-house people outside.

Starting point is 00:04:54 Some sweaters, I put them in individually. And she was like, I'll take it. And I was like, okay. That's great, she's probably reselling those. Yeah. And that's nice, that's good. That's a nice thing to do. There's actually a person,

Starting point is 00:05:04 because it reminds me of the story where, so there's a person we don't like, and he's like, he used to be really- We being you and I? No, like our Chicago community. Okay, cool. Back in the day. And he was just like, instead of being like,

Starting point is 00:05:17 hey, can I get a ride, he would try to snake his wife or her. Oh, where are you going? I think that's, and then it would be out of the way. You know, like dishonest. Yeah. And so, but one one time my friend had leftovers and there was a you know a woman on the street and so she goes hey I have these do you want this and the woman goes oh yeah I'd love that and then this guy went oh if you're gonna give it away I'll take it and then he took it he took it from the unhoused person yeah and then my friend was like, okay.

Starting point is 00:05:47 But he just, this is what he would do. He like asked a friend to lunch and goes, let's go to Chipotle. My friend orders, then he goes and gives him a coupon. And they go, no, you have to do the coupon together. He was trying to have a hidden coupon. So then my friend had to pay for two burrito bowls. So he was trying to, he said, let's go to Chipotle

Starting point is 00:06:04 so I can, you be the buy one, I be the get one for you. But instead of telling him, instead of being like, hey, I'm really broke, I have this coupon, would you mind splitting this or paying it? Which is acceptable. Which is acceptable up front. Up front, it's all acceptable. People are broke, it's fine.

Starting point is 00:06:16 But he, so my friend paid and then he tried to sneakily do the coupon, but that's not how coupons work. I'm with him, go ahead and yeah. It's just not how coupons work. That's psycho, dude. Yeah, we know him. That's fucking crazy. And you're not gonna name him Shane?

Starting point is 00:06:30 No, because I think he's better. He got hit by a bus eventually. He got a settlement. I think he's better, he got hit by a bus. Like he learned, he learned. I'm flying him out for my party. It's gonna be really special I think his battery got hit by a bus. I'm flying him out for my party. It's gonna be really special what we do. That's fucking nuts, dude.

Starting point is 00:06:53 That's so nuts. So when I was like, oh, I'm just gonna leave these outside because my block does that, she was like, I'll take it. So I thought of him, but I'm like, listen, it's tough. It's tough. If you fit in my sweater, take it. Take the sweater if it fits you. Take the sweater, so yeah, I'll be better. If you can take it off, put it to it.

Starting point is 00:07:07 But it's like way better now. There's still some, I have unhealthy attachments to stuff, but it's so much nicer when it's clean and I organized all my beads. It's so nice. Do you have a fear of becoming a hoarder? Because you say unhealthy attachment to stuff, and I'm like, oh, my dad had that and he was a hoarder.

Starting point is 00:07:23 Do you feel that it could go that way? My dad, sister, and I are mentally unwell in terms of stuff clutter. My dad has his basement, and then he has his office in the kitchen. Yeah. And then he also has a shed and then his trunk. And then we just got a letter from the village

Starting point is 00:07:39 that he has to clean up the yard. Yeah, what's in the yard? Traffic cones, hula hoops, a stepladder. Of course, what was I thinking? Naturally, hula hoops, of course, yes. To hold the bushes, I mean it's a bed. Yeah, your 80-something year old immigrant parents of course have hula hoops in the yard with the stepladder.

Starting point is 00:07:56 I don't know what I was thinking, of course that's what's going on. In the village once I'm gone, fuck the village. A homeowners association is one of the most fascistic things I can imagine. No, it's not that, it's the actual village of the town. Fuck the village too I'm gone. Fuck the village. A homeowners association is one of the most fascistic things I can imagine. No, it's not that, it's like the actual village of the town. Fuck the village too, a government. I don't like a government either.

Starting point is 00:08:09 I left an unhinged voicemail, they didn't call me back. My sister went and handled it at the village. What was the voicemail? I go, you're asking my 87 year old, my dad kept being like, tell him I survived the Holocaust. I go, well, he did. He did, but I was like, we him I survived the Holocaust. I go, well, he did, but I was like, we don't have to start that. Hey, we'll get to Holocaust when it's needed.

Starting point is 00:08:32 We're not gonna enter the door with Holocaust. That is so fucking, he's real as fuck, by the way. If I survived the Holocaust, you'd never hear the fucking end of it. There wouldn't be a person I met who didn't fucking hear about it. That would so funny. So Germany still gives money to people, like how we should do to a lot of communities in

Starting point is 00:08:48 our country. Yeah. But so I told my dad, I'm like, oh, the, you know, the Germans give you money. And he goes, how do you know about that? I go, I fill out your paperwork. I go, you don't speak English. He's like, how do you know I get that? I'm like, I took the photo of you holding your ID.

Starting point is 00:09:02 I mean, how do I know? I'm in correspondence with the photo of you holding your ID How do I know I'm in correspondence with the government Yeah I'm working with the feds To get you your holocaust payments I know they're coming Yeah But the village

Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah he's real as fuck If I survived the holocaust Every time a check came to my table I'd be like really? To a holocaust survivor? I know there's very few of them you know Yeah Yeah that's yeah that was really. That's because of the egg.

Starting point is 00:09:32 Lisa that's horrible. Don't make jokes about that. Don't make jokes about that. But anyway you left the voicemail. What did you say? I was just like are you kidding me? Because they gave like a January 14th due date for the clean. I go you're asking an 87 year old man in these weathers, in this weather to clean up, this weather? I go, this is unexcept, because I also thought they were trying to make him

Starting point is 00:09:53 get rid of his shed and I just thought that was fucked. And then they thought it was a certain neighbor, so I'm like, I'm gonna go talk to the neighbor. They're like, please don't talk to the neighbors. But I just get riled. I don't want my dad being disrespected like that. But it's fine, he just has to clean up the yard. He's not gonna be responsible for the,

Starting point is 00:10:09 what's the retaining wall? There's some loose bricks, but we fought that. The shed can stay, but the yard needs to be cleaned. By a spring date, you can't make an old man go out there in 20 degree weather. That's fucking negative three. They're like, get your old ass in the yard and pick up that fucking hula hoop.

Starting point is 00:10:26 But we have another neighbor who got a letter from the village too, so now we're in cahoots. We're building, see, this is community though. That is. This is organizing. No, it's actually really beautiful. You would love this. So when we moved into this townhouse,

Starting point is 00:10:38 the George and Grace lived right there and they were elderly. And then when George passed, we would take Grace to the supermarket. We would just do everything for grace And then when they moved out a young couple moved in that started helping my parents and doing all these things Oh that actually could Yeah, I love that actually in a way that I actually

Starting point is 00:11:01 People that just got a letter from the village they were my parents let me know that they helped carry a rug for them. So then I went and said, you know, said, hey, you know, the grill smells great. Thanks for helping my parents. Yeah, yeah. Equivalent. They carry the rug. You give a compliment on the grill. It's beautiful. Yeah, yeah. And it was hot. I was like, damn, you got some hot new neighbors. That's nice. You, that's nice. You took me from a place of crying to being like, okay, yeah. And they, um, and then they've been feeding a stray cat with my parents that one. I don't care about much The cats feeding the stray cats up people think it's a cat of 17 years died So now they have at least a street cat to feed that's beautiful. I guess yeah, I could find beauty in that yeah

Starting point is 00:11:36 And it's gotten chubby since my parents started feeding it. Well. That's kind of fun. I like when people are fat Oh, yeah, oh my this cat this cat's eating like kosher chicken cutlets, homemade. Obsessed, obsessed. Fresh, fresh on the grill. Fresh. Fresh on the grill. Yeah. Knocks on the window of the shed.

Starting point is 00:11:52 Ugh, obsessed. Yeah, it's cute. Completely obsessed. Your daddy needs to pick up that fucking hula hoop though. No, he's gonna get to it, but it's like, it's mental stuff, and it could be either like, you know, immigrants when they have to leave everything, type of thing, or it's just having, I don't know what it is, but it went into my sister.

Starting point is 00:12:08 We were addicted after like homecoming in prom, we would run and buy all these dresses on sale and then we'd have closets full of dresses, for what? But that's the way we live. And then my sister moved into a smaller space to work on. We just accumulate things and we want things and we don't wanna get rid of things and we want them to be used and it's like, and then we'll give my dad stuff to give away and then later, a year later, he'll be like,

Starting point is 00:12:31 do you need this? I'm like, I gave that to you. To give away. To give away two years ago. I mean, it feels like there's a pretty clear line of psychology from the things that your parents went through to this obsession with material things and comfort and it feels pretty like, yeah, no shit.

Starting point is 00:12:44 I feel like I would be that way too had I gone through what they went through, right? But I didn't really go through it, so I need to get it together. Yeah, do you, you speak Russian, right? Yeah. Do you ever do comedy in Russian? Have you ever done?

Starting point is 00:12:55 No, I wouldn't even be able to. And these people don't have a good sense of humor. They, the Russians are truly like, they love torture and suffering. They don't want to not suffer. It's weird Do you do you would you speak Russian outside of talking to your parents? I'm yeah, like a Lyft driver here and there. Yeah, that makes sense. That's cool Yeah, and like you bring it up today friends. They go like you look like you know, Russian

Starting point is 00:13:16 Yeah, they could tell like we could tell or they'll say something or depends or if I see like a Russian person struggling in a street I'll talk to them or to store nice like if an old woman's confused at directions, but Nora Good. I know I can't wait. I'm like I've been a fan of that actress for a while cuz I like better things Yeah, she's great in it. It really is great. And it's and I know the tow truck driver Sebastian really yeah He's in the city you guys should like swap pods. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's a podcaster. He is are you mad? No, I I should like swap pods. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's a podcaster. He is are you mad? No, I Know not at all. No, I just I that kind of st. I'm just surprised by that cuz he does such a good job Well, you're good. You're an actor in a podcaster

Starting point is 00:14:00 No, not because he does such a good you want me to have contention with this I don't know why. I just thought it was cool that you knew a guy in the movie. I love Sebastian. You're like, oh, you fucking hate him, huh? No, he's a no. I like the guy. Sounds cool. I'm glad he has a podcast. Good for him. I hope it does numbers.

Starting point is 00:14:12 Yeah. That's really exciting. No, it is. That is exciting. I love watching stuff and be like, ah! Like that Leonardo DiCaprio meme, that's me, and I like it. It is fun. I love it.

Starting point is 00:14:21 When I know somebody, I'm like, wow. How fun. It's also interesting. I'm sure you feel this too, but I'm a part in my I'm at a point in my career now where like you kind of you have a connection to like everybody yeah like even like Bowen and Rachel announced the fucking Oscars this morning I'm like we know Bowen and Rachel yeah you know or like whatever it's like you know your musician friends going on a big tour and you're like oh I know everybody that's

Starting point is 00:14:42 kind of fun oh yeah yeah and it's not like it's not like a I want something for them or I feel cool because they're oh, I know everybody. That's kind of fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it's not like I want something for them, or I feel cool because they're cool. It's just like, oh, that's kind of weird. I would've watched this. I do feel cool, though. Do you? Yeah, like I have a friend with a piece at the Met, and I've been talking, and I feel cool.

Starting point is 00:14:58 I feel that they're cool for that. I don't think you're cool for knowing them. I think you're cool because you're you. I do. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw. I think you are Carrie Bradshaw, but Carrie Bradshaw was cool because she was cool, not because her friends were cool.

Starting point is 00:15:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I feel cool being there, seeing it maybe. Yeah, I think you're cooler because you're friends with me. Yeah. I don't know about anyone else. No, people are obsessed with you. Actually, when you came to the cellar with me. I was kidding, by the way, that didn't get a response.

Starting point is 00:15:17 I know, I know you did, I know you did. I didn't get any, no bite on that, but that was a bit. I got no play on that bit, that was a bit. I know. Can't let that one go into the, they're gonna have to clarify, I was kidding. That was cool. Did you ever have that, your teachers on the TV,

Starting point is 00:15:34 they would type in Microsoft Word and you'd look at it at the TV? That's how I know where the episode is at. I love, I used to love that little clicking, I like to love it. The smart board? Oh, or when you were in school it was probably Yeah, it wasn't a smart board. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:15:47 Sorry. You had one of those like, uh. We did the clear ones. Yeah. The clear projectors. Yeah, but writing with those vis-a-vis markers on that clear thing with the, oh. Or did you, in math class, did you ever?

Starting point is 00:16:04 An abacus, yeah. No, I was just, when they would pass out the individual chalkboards or whiteboards. Like our math teacher would pass out little tiny individual whiteboards and we'd get to write out our equations and then wipe them clean. It was fun for me, I liked it.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Sorry, I really didn't wanna interrupt you though. You were gonna compliment me, I thought almost. Oh I was, so you went with me to the cellar. Oh God. And we were with someone, you know, I would say high profile. Oh, yes, yes, yes. But after you left, I would say no less than seven people

Starting point is 00:16:31 went, oh my God, was I okay near Caleb? Did I embarrass you? Like, people were losing their minds. That's really funny. Like, the next day, people were like, wow, so Caleb was here. And I go, yeah. You're like, yeah, he's fine.

Starting point is 00:16:42 Well, there was one person that acted weird with, I don't know if you caught that, because you don't like to talk about people, so I didn't bring it up to you. But there was one person being weird. Yeah, God love them. Yeah, they were having a, it seemed like they were having a moment.

Starting point is 00:16:55 And I, but you were so kind. You really turned into a southern gentleman, even though you're not from the south. You're just a gentleman. I don't, yeah. If someone treated me like that, I'd be like, you need to get away from me right now. It's always funny in a space like that where I'm like,

Starting point is 00:17:08 we're peers. You're a comic. We're both comics. So that is funny to me that I'm like, I just would never expect it, but then you're going fan mode, so then I have to switch into speaking with a fan mode. And I wasn't in that.

Starting point is 00:17:19 I was in hanging out with my peers mode. So it's strange, but I'm not mad at you. Well, because he also went, oh, come this way. I'm like, he's been inside. Well, there's a funny thing about those spaces though that people feel really, and I'm sure you feel a level of this, people feel really identified with a place like The Seller.

Starting point is 00:17:39 They feel like this is my home. So when they see someone that they wanna open it up to you, they wanna be like, come and share my home. And I feel that way. I'm like, oh, I want, try this or have this or there. Oh, this is this person. Yeah, and I don't care about that, but it's a perfectly nice thing to want to do.

Starting point is 00:17:56 To want someone to feel at home in a place that you feel is your home. That's nice. Yeah. No, it was all very nice, but I wouldn't have handled it. Yeah. What's been going on with you since I saw you last? It was all very nice, but you I wouldn't have handled it What's what's been going on with you since I saw you last you're a returning guest on the pod well today I just

Starting point is 00:18:17 Ordered the new lover Taylor Swift cardigan came out I Actually was out the door, and then I saw it on my open the laptop And then I was in line for six minutes to check out she's doing it She's what is it she just drops these card cardigans to take our money and I buy them. Yeah, and you love it And it's my third card again. Yeah, that's really exciting. What's it look like? It's white with pink hearts and the buttons are hearts. That's cute. It's cute. Sounds cute. Yeah, I had to happen Yeah, sounds really cute You're a big well, you're big. I've said this about you a million. Yeah, you're a big fan of everything Yeah, you're a fan. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a fan, I've said this about you a million times. You're a big fan of everything. You're a fan, yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:45 Yeah, I'm a fan. I'm a fanatic, I want more. But of people I know and don't know. Wait, I've been talking about this for weeks and I actually did tell my soul cycle teacher I've been talking about her for weeks. But she in the middle of class went, who's got a crush?

Starting point is 00:19:00 Is it real or parasocial? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, call him out, queen. Read this bitch. Yeah, fucking say that. Say that. As I'm dropping letters to Luigi into the mailbox, I'm like, on the car ride.

Starting point is 00:19:13 Yeah, the letters to Luigi part, I was like, Lisa. We gotta pay attention to something. It's like, I'm sorry. What's happening, do you think? What is happening is, and this is like, so on Etsy you can't buy Luigi merch, right? He's also alleged not found guilty of any crime. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:31 You can buy, you can't buy it. There's only like one sticker, like you cannot buy Luigi stuff. The government is stopping it, like the terms and conditions. You can buy a candle that says, smells like Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:43 You could buy Gacy shit. You could buy Unabomber stuff. So what the fuck is that? And then Bill Burr said positive stuff about Luigi on Kimmel. All the comments are positive, comments now shut down. Like, there's something going on. You cannot charge this guy with terrorism,

Starting point is 00:19:58 try to put him to death, and us stop paying attention. It could be any one of us. They have not matched, there's not evidence proof. Like for anyone to believe the cops, cops can lie. And any article you read that said the cops reported can be a lie. Totally. Totally.

Starting point is 00:20:16 You're being, I'm really scared right now. I've never seen you like this. I've never. Cause I'm scared. I've never seen you like this. We're entering an authoritative government. We're in it, babe. We've been in it.

Starting point is 00:20:27 We've been in it. It's just a little more, there's more Ohio Hitlers. Yeah, I'll say the hiling is up like 200%. Yeah, the hiling is up a bunch. And then you know what's really insidious about the hiling? It's not even Ohio. They're going, oh, and they'll share pictures of Hillary Clinton or Kamala where their hand happens

Starting point is 00:20:46 to be like this during a speech. Hand happening to be like this versus going fucking hard chest to a straight arm is, yo. Well, I also just saw a video, hopefully it's not real, but it's obviously people looking like the KKK like on a cruise ship or something. And then the management said, oh no, they were dressed like snow cones, are bad. I'm like, a white snow cone?

Starting point is 00:21:07 Yeah, I don't think that that, that doesn't sound, I don't think the KKK goes on cruises. That's not even a line to us. I mean, just like all the rollbacks. We'll see, whatever. I just think this is a case we need to pay attention to because also, if cases that are this high attention, usually it's like a 24 hour news cycle, right?

Starting point is 00:21:25 We talk about it, we talk about it. Why aren't we talking about it? I'm talking about it. The next court dates February 21st, it was pushed from this month, but like I just feel, and they're also trying to like diminish the support of him because it's like tied

Starting point is 00:21:38 to being attractive or something. I just don't want someone bulldozed for a crime they did not commit. I think they're trying to diminish the support of him because they- Are scared. Yeah, they have a to diminish the support of him because they are scared. They have a very obvious stake in no one wanting to kill very, very rich people for doing evil. Because if we start doing that, well, they're going to get killed. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:54 So I get what's happening, but that's why I think it's more important than just because. Because it's like we don't have a handwritten analysis match. We don't know how he would have gotten from the hostel to the place in the time that they say he did. Did he leave the stuff in the park or was it on him? Like there's just all these questions and the eyebrows don't match. Yeah, that's a big one.

Starting point is 00:22:15 So to me I'm just like, fuck you, let us comment and let me buy some shirts. Yeah. You're like, I'm impartial, I don't have a side. I want a shirt though. But I'm not gonna do anything.ial, I don't have a side. I want a shirt though. But I'm not gonna do anything. The authorities don't have to worry about me because I'm a stoner. I'm a casual girl. I'm funky, fun, I like to go to dinner. You're the revolutionary they can handle. Yeah, exactly. Trust me. Hey, I'm the radical that you can tolerate

Starting point is 00:22:42 because I'm gonna stay home. My ideas are bad, but my actions are good for y'all. I'm the radical that you can tolerate, because I'm gonna stay home. My ideas are bad, but my actions are good for y'all. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, and I'm just like, well, I just want, and just like in parallel with the inmate firefighters on the West Coast, and just like, just everything that's happening and how it's all interconnected and just prison, I don't know, just thinking about it.

Starting point is 00:23:03 This is what I'm hoping for though, is that people will stop with this fucking, like Donald Trump getting in office and immediately signing an executive order about pronouns or gender or whatever. It's like, guys, they are distracting us. They don't want us to think about the fact that it's class consciousness, that's the thing.

Starting point is 00:23:17 Like everybody can get behind this. Stop with the fucking deportation shit, stop with the gender shit. Yeah, but people are being deported, I mean. But I'm not saying don't worry about it, I'm saying guys, the people who want it, stop. Like leave leave them alone leave immigrants alone. They don't need to be deported Yeah, they're not hurting you. They're also just trying to make a living It's the fucking rich people trying to distract you yeah, and also by the way you say you want rich people to be handled

Starting point is 00:23:37 What where how do you rich you think is too rich just so I know? So my thing I'm even gonna let people have, I have a lot of thoughts. Okay. Ready. Well, cause we just have to topple all of this, so my threshold is less than it would have been. Yeah. If you've gotten rich through a creative pursuit,

Starting point is 00:23:56 you can keep your money. Okay. I think if you wanted to bring- Even billionaires. If you wanted to bring goodness into the world, well, the billionairesaires then start trying to buy burnt up Hawaii land, then your creative stuff gets taken away. Okay, so that supersedes. Yes.

Starting point is 00:24:12 When you start doing real estate crime. If you're fracking, you know. Yeah, no real estate crime with the creative money. Make your paintings, but leave the houses. Yeah. Got it, got it, I like that, that's nice. But I feel like if you're like a singer, I don't know, I just, I don't think you're the issue.

Starting point is 00:24:24 Yeah, okay. That's convenient. Unless you're like a singer, I don't know. I just I don't think you're the issue. Yeah. OK. That's convenient. Unless you're making merch with slave labor. It's just so interconnected. It's like really, really tough because I doubt this CEO is even my rich threshold. But I think no one should make more than a billion. And once you hit a billion, all the money goes to social services. I 100 percent agree. But just to check the the Taylor Swift branded cardigan that you bought this morning.

Starting point is 00:24:44 Yeah. Like made with union labor or did you check in on that? No, I don't, but I also have lots of stuff that's made by enslaved children. Cool, just wondering. Yeah. Cool, no worries, me too, I'm sure. Should we get sewing machines? No, I'm a hypocrite. No, I'm a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite.

Starting point is 00:24:59 Well, no, we're all hypocrites. I'm just trying to figure out where we fall in that. One of the things I really believe in is if you come from generational wealth based on the work of enslaved people, you should lose all of your real estate, all of your money. It should be given to the descendants of those enslaved people and you should start from nothing. Okay. So I believe in that. Okay.

Starting point is 00:25:19 So if you come from generational wealth that profited off of enslaved humans, you can't keep your money. Right. Give it back. I think that's a, there's some, I think there's some merit to that. How would we figure that out? No, I don't know. I don't read enough to have like true opinions.

Starting point is 00:25:33 It's like all, I'm like, do you watch Veep? No. I've seen, I've seen, I've seen Veep. I feel like the, for anyone that, I feel like the Christopher Maloney character, he plays like this Jim bro who's like, I think money is actually evil. Like that's how I feel. Well, that's nice though.

Starting point is 00:25:51 As long as the ideas are good, I don't really care about how we got there. No, but if you work in evil industry, if like, if you're like, if you were one of the people that put money into like Zoom and masks before COVID and made money, yeah. Your throat in the street, in this town square. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I and make money. Yeah. Your throat in the town square. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:07 I wanna watch it. Yeah, interesting. We'll be cutting that. Yeah, I just watched Hostel yesterday. You watched what? It gave me a little bloodlust. I've never watched Hostel, so I watched it yesterday. I don't know what that is.

Starting point is 00:26:15 Oh, it's a scary movie about like a hostel that sells people to rich people who wanna murder for like a joy. Oh, good night, that's no good. Yeah. I also watch Jeepers Creepers. Oh yeah, that fella with the, yep. Drives the truck and has all the bodies down there.

Starting point is 00:26:39 I had a really good night. That's why I can't have nights off from comedy. That's no good. You should watch something positive. You're always like taking a night off and then I watch the documentary. You ever seen Robin Williams films? About a man. No, he's funny because he didn't have to be mean or nasty.

Starting point is 00:26:51 Except in one hour photo. Wow, what's that about? Oh well, no, but he is sad at the end. His crimes come from a sad place. Oh, he does crimes. I don't know. I just feel bad. Oh, I also like things that should be social services

Starting point is 00:27:06 that shouldn't be private businesses, like jail. Like that's something I'm passionate about, right? Yeah, you love jail, you just want it to be done by the government. I want it to be about rehabilitation and not a business, yeah. Yeah, so you want socialized prisons instead of privatized ones.

Starting point is 00:27:21 I do. Okay. But I don't trust our government either. Right, so then that becomes an issue. So that's tough. Change the 14th Amendment, I mean, I don't trust our government either. Right, so then that becomes an issue. Change the 14th Amendment, I mean, I don't know. I don't know, like where do you start? Like this is what I mean. Where do you start?

Starting point is 00:27:31 The Throats of Verthrid. Now I don't start, things going. Because I don't know where to start. Do we start with pharmacy? Do we start, who do we start with? Do we go to the Skulls, the Secrets, the Yale Clubs? I don't know. It's all really good questions

Starting point is 00:27:44 and I think everyone's feeling this way. It's overwhelming how bad so many things are. Life is beautiful, but the systems are bad. And it's like, yeah, I don't know where we would start. And all that being said, you have a special coming out on Netflix. Yeah, that's what's even more crazy. Like I'll be talking to my bestie on the phone

Starting point is 00:28:00 and it'll be like, oh God, did you, oh God. And I'll be like, but the party is gonna be, you know. It's like going in and out of tragedy is also like a privileged place to be. We're not in it, in it, you know? But I am also plugging my Netflix special days after the inauguration. We have to keep going.

Starting point is 00:28:19 It's like sick, like I don't know how to, like it's a wildlife. Yeah, I'm with you, dude. I mean, it's crazy to do this while the world is burning, for me to be like, nah, gotta get to the studio and put out an episode of my podcast where I chat with my friends. We just didn't know, maybe we just didn't know as much.

Starting point is 00:28:35 In the past? Yeah, people didn't know as much. For sure, ignorance is bliss. That's the whole entire thing, knowledge is a burden. Knowing shit is awful, it's horrible, because then if you have any kind of conscious and you know things are bad, you should be acting towards making it good. If you know nothing, you're dumb. It's wonderful. You can have a conscious and do nothing because you didn't know

Starting point is 00:28:53 about it. That's the beauty of dumb. Dumb is, oh my God, dumb is the best. I envy dumb. Smart is evil. Bad stuff. I know. I don't like to know. I hate to know. In fact, I, but then if you don't know, they get mad at you for not knowing. They say, oh, you're avoiding to know. I hate to know. In fact, I, but then if you don't know, they get mad at you for not knowing. They say, oh, you're avoiding to know. Well, to know is to hurt. I want to be dumb. To know is to hurt.

Starting point is 00:29:11 Knowing is hurting. Dumb is comfy. Or everyone should know. Yeah, that's another thing. Like when did it start that like, if you're in a poor neighborhood, your school's worse? What? What?

Starting point is 00:29:21 What? Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. What? Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know.

Starting point is 00:29:30 Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know.

Starting point is 00:29:36 Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know.

Starting point is 00:29:43 Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. Like I don't know. I really think this episode is gonna change things. Is that crazy to say? No, but that's like all I have, like that's what I tell people. I'm like, you know, when I perform at a place where people are coming from all over the country and they're visiting and some people clap, they vote it.

Starting point is 00:29:56 They're happy, they're not mad. All I have is being able to get on stage and going, we're gonna rich people. You know, like that's all we have is our voice until it's taken away. Because they're gonna come for schools, the artists, they're gonna do it. They already have.

Starting point is 00:30:11 They're already coming for schools and the artists. They're already cracking down on what we can teach and we can't teach. They're already cracking down on how, you know, there are fucking states that have drag bands. Like, you know, the number of DMs I get that are like, why don't you come to Florida? Honey, I'm scared.

Starting point is 00:30:25 What do you mean? You know, it's like, yeah, it's bad. They're fascistic, they're authoritative, and the sad part is everybody who loves the fucking, like, they love the deportations and there's only two genders shit is like, you are falling hook, line, and sinker for the thing that is going to come for you as well.

Starting point is 00:30:47 You will not end up safe in all of this. That's what I say on stage too sometimes. I go, and at the end of the day, the people that voted for him, their lives will be worse too. Yeah. And that's my silver lining. I go, your kids are not gonna have schools,

Starting point is 00:30:58 you're gonna be like breathing in smog. Does that make you genuinely happy though? Cause that makes me more sad. No, it makes me, I want them to suffer until they finally realize that it's not black people's fault. You know what I mean? I want them to realize that. I want them to realize that, but it doesn't. Yeah, they'll realize it once we Mark Zuckerberg. Jen's having a hay day in the notes right now. He's like, much of this has to be cut.

Starting point is 00:31:23 Let's air towards bleeps and not cuts by the way. They'll guess what I thought we should kill. Little editing note live in the episode. Only episode I think I've ever had to do that. No, but here's the deal. The reason it makes me sadder is not because I feel bad for them. The reason it makes me sadder is because they initiated, they match-sticked all this fucking evil and they're not even going to get what they want from it.

Starting point is 00:31:42 So it's senseless evil. If there was a world where they match-stick and light this fire of evil and then gonna get what they want from it. So it's senseless evil. If there was a world where they match dick and like this fire of evil and then they get everything they want, at least I can go, oh, you're a horrible fucking selfish awful person, but you and your people are gonna get what you want out of it. And so at least I understand why you did it. I can't even get there because I'm like, you're not gonna get anything. And I'm hoping that this next administration will be people's moment to go, oh, the emperor has no clothes. Groceries will not get cheaper. Your life will not get better. Rich people will, the emperor has no clothes, groceries will not get cheaper, your life will not get better,

Starting point is 00:32:06 rich people will still have more money than you, everything will not get better. But thank God the wife of the WWE starter is in the administration. Like, that's what's crazy. I know, the fucking education. At least idiocracy had a fun spirit. They were dumb, they were dumb, but chilling.

Starting point is 00:32:22 Like, you know, Terrences was like fine in it. Is that his name? Or is that the guy, who's the guy in the south that's a bad guy? That's Terry Crews. I didn't see. Ted Crews. I did not, Ted Crews, yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:34 Terry Crews is an actor. Yeah, and he played the president in Idiocracy. He played the president in Idiocracy. I've always seen bits and pieces of that. I knew it. Yeah, sorry. But you know a fun fact that I heard on the internet is this movie was made, I don't know what year,

Starting point is 00:32:48 but a while ago, and they had to find a shoe for everyone to wear that's so stupid, and it was Crocs. Everyone in the Diacresce is wearing Crocs, because they're like, well, no one will ever wear these. Really? Yeah. And now people love them.

Starting point is 00:33:00 Yeah, they're comfortable. That's really interesting. Thank you for sharing that. I thought that was a beautiful fact. Is it? Maybe we move into the fun facts part of the episode. Yeah, they're comfortable. That's really interesting. Thank you for sharing that. I thought that was a beautiful fact. Maybe we move into the fun facts part of the episode. Yeah, so my Netflix special is out, or coming out. It's called Night Owl.

Starting point is 00:33:12 I taped it in New York City. And I've been doing stand-up for 15 years, and it's my first hour, and I'm excited about it. And it was fun. Well, first of all, you're one of, one of if not the best comedians working right now, and that's just a pure fucking fact, and everyone has to go watch the special. It's gonna be amazing.

Starting point is 00:33:31 Your standup is always the most fun. I, literally, you are one of the only, we know every comedian working, and you're one of the only people that I will leave my house just to go watch you do a set. You're that good. Everyone has to go watch the special. That having been said, you're an extremely toxic person.

Starting point is 00:33:47 No, I wonder if you'll tell people a little bit, because there are probably some people who are interested in this. How did you get to having a Netflix special? Like what was the process of, did you do the thing where you tape it first and then sell it to them? Or like what did it look like?

Starting point is 00:33:59 Yeah, no, like the industry is wild. I don't know it. But basically, I did a show at Bell House, and I taped it, and then I sent it to all the people. Everyone said no, and even, I think Netflix was like, meh, maybe in a year, and I went, all right. So then I, and I am not good with money, I'd rather have fun, so I'm like,

Starting point is 00:34:20 I'm not gonna finance it. Yeah. So I went, I'm just not gonna do an hour. Like, whatever, I'm not gonna not keep doing comedy, and when it happens, not gonna do an hour. Like whatever, I'm not gonna not keep doing comedy and when it happens, it happens. And then two weeks later I got a call from Netflix saying let's do an hour. Yeah, love that.

Starting point is 00:34:31 And so once I gave, it's like the classic, once I gave up on that idea, it came forth and I knew I wanted to do it, tape it before the summer because then I wanted to have a fun summer in New York because I'm back to New York. And so yeah, taped it in June and I was ready. I was like beyond ready. That's the thing, I didn't have a fun summer in New York because I'm back to New York. And so yeah, taped it in June. And I was ready, I was like beyond ready. That's the thing, I didn't have to like get ready because it's just, that's how I make my money.

Starting point is 00:34:50 I'm on the road. And so, and I wanted, like I didn't write a set list. I knew I was gonna end in Star, but I didn't write a set list for either show. They were both different because I wanted it to be a reflection of how I perform and my favorite way to perform, which is loose, in the moment, in a basement, late at night. And so I didn't want it to be like, I'm in a theater now doing

Starting point is 00:35:11 a like, like a pageant. Yeah, because that's not how I perform. Yeah. So you and so it was like really fun. I'm excited. And natural and like, I felt good about it and relaxed and all the other tapings of half hours and the five minutes and like all those lessons and everything I hated and everything was able to kind of all come together. Everything's about the lessons, man. Yeah, that's beautiful.

Starting point is 00:35:37 Yeah. I'm really excited for it to come out. I am too, I'm really excited. I mean, it's like, it's weird. You wanna get rid of the nervousness because all the nervousness is how people are gonna react to it's like, it's weird. You wanna get rid of the nervousness, because all the nervousness is how people are gonna react to it, or write about it, or be into it or not into it, and you can't control that,

Starting point is 00:35:51 so there's no point of worrying. It's the work I'm proud of. But it's hard not to be nervous. About people, like a lot of, hopefully a lot of people seeing it. Totally, a lot of people seeing it and being really nice about it and liking it. That's the hope, right?

Starting point is 00:36:02 It's like, no one hopes that they have like a contentious special. I think some people do that don't have talent, but need to stoke the fires of what's happening in our country for success. I just would never think of that. I've never been untalented. So it's hard for me to go to that place mentally.

Starting point is 00:36:15 Yeah, that must be hard for them. Yeah, they just have to do like hack racist material from 70 years ago. Yeah, and it was working, isn't that crazy? Yeah, at the convention. I mean, whew. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha where there's like money connection, anything there's gonna be like evil, any sort of business. Ego and microphones. I mean this doesn't help. This makes you more, I can, you can feel it when people are listening to you and regularly on purpose, you start to like, I've said on here

Starting point is 00:36:57 a couple of times, like I'll feel, I'll hear myself say something and I'll go, do you think that? You know what I mean? Like it's really, it's an interesting, not even necessarily anything that matters. I'll take an opinion on something sometimes in the middle of an episode that I'm like, huh, wonder if I meant that. You know what I mean? But it's, you're talking so, I don't think people realize,

Starting point is 00:37:13 they listen to little snippets, they listen to one clip of a podcast or something on social media that came through their feed, and they think like, well, I would have never said that. And it's like, yeah, bubby, you don't talk for a living. We're talking all the time. Of course we're gonna say fucked up shit. You get to not talk. You are, like you don't talk for a living. We're talking all the time. Yeah, so of course we're gonna say fucked up shit. You get to not talk.

Starting point is 00:37:27 You are, like you sit. Like no one knows what you think. You have the privilege of sitting behind the thing and then just pointing out and it's like, but you don't do this. You don't make jokes. You don't, your thoughts don't matter. And see, even saying that, I'm like,

Starting point is 00:37:41 I don't believe that. I was gonna say that I stopped myself for the first time. And it's like, I don't even believe that. It's just, I'm mad that they're being mean to me. But I've also in private said stupid shit. I've had an opinion and then my friends will talk to me and I'll be like, oh, fuck, my opinion was wrong.

Starting point is 00:37:55 I didn't know this information, I'll be smarter. Or you get a gut reaction or a feeling or how you were written and you're like, oh, that's wrong. Like, yeah, that's kind of what life's about, hopefully. Do you think you're generally right about people? No, I get swindled often, and I get, I get, I get fucking bamboozled.

Starting point is 00:38:15 But I also do trust, when I'm like, I don't really like this person, I feel good, or like, that's shady, but I've, this just happened to me, I was at a party. I was talking to someone, having a good time, bonding, bonding, I walk away, they go, you know he punched a woman? I go no.

Starting point is 00:38:31 I'm sorry, that's insane. Punched a woman, I think stabbed, so I go no, I didn't know that. He stabbed somebody? What party were you at? Thanks for telling me. Yeah, what party were you at that there's woman punchers and stabbers just running around

Starting point is 00:38:42 for you to get cocktails with? Our industry. Yo, fuck. Fuck. Whoops. An industry event. Fuck, I hate that. No, but it was, like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:52 I don't know all the time. Yeah. That's interesting. I was just wondering. But sometimes, but when I'm on stage, I read people really well. Like, I could tell where, like, what is up, if they're really, like, I'm really proud of myself

Starting point is 00:39:04 when I can, like, call it out. Or it's the most fun. Or I ask, like, what is up, if they're, like, I'm really proud of myself when I can, like, call it out or, or I ask, like, I get fortune teller vibes. I get how they do it, because I'll ask, like, a, I don't know, like, sometimes I just know if someone's not doing well or well, like, I feel, like, intuitive. I do feel intuitive at times, but then sometimes it's so shut off. I can't even say I'm intuitive because I've been swindled.

Starting point is 00:39:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Identifying as someone who's easily swindled is so funny. I get bamboozled a lot. No, I thought I was young, young, young. I'm sure I've talked about this on podcasts before, but I thought I got this marketing job and I showed up for training and it was basically selling products

Starting point is 00:39:40 out of a van door to door. And I didn't realize it was weird. I had to go home. That's American honey home and my best friend and my parents had to sit me down and be like, we don't think this is a real job. You did American Honey. Do you ever see that?

Starting point is 00:39:52 No. Shia LaBeouf and a bunch of other people, kids in a Midwestern van selling, I think, magazine subscriptions. But it's a fake van job. It's actually really weird. I thought I got like hired for marketing. I was like, why would they hire me? I got arrested and had to drop out of Iowa State.

Starting point is 00:40:11 I thought I got a marketing job. Yeah, you're like, no, it's a real job. I'm the director of Intel. Yeah. Or like, I've just gotten into like friendships that then you're like, why are you, wait, what the fuck? Like I've definitely gotten into like friendships that then you're like, why are you wait? What the fuck? Like I've definitely gotten myself in situations where I'm like, oh my god, get me out of here Yeah, but I've also been right about a lot of people I've hated

Starting point is 00:40:35 I've been like that's a shady motherfucker and then you know, what's your dumping for fascism? And I was right You'd just like a lot of people. I just hate rates pretty high. Yeah but I don't know, it's just annoying because I don't like the, if you're like, fuck you, you seem crazy, but it's like, I was right. Yeah, I might sound crazy, but I was right. That person sucks. I also in our biz, it's just tough,

Starting point is 00:40:58 because it's like, yeah, if I see you cheat on your wife, I'll never respect you. If you talk about cheating on women, I will never respect you. Yeah, that's easy, I like that for you. Yeah, like I won't speak to you again. Yeah. Like, you have to respect women.

Starting point is 00:41:10 That's beautiful. I can't. Do you have a problem with me in that regard? Because I don't love women romantically, is that okay? Oh yeah, that's not what I meant. That's fine, I just, you have expressed a lot in private that you don't love gay people, so I wanted to. Oh wow.

Starting point is 00:41:24 I wanted to just kind of publicly bring up that thing that you have about that. No, I'm pretty into it. Gay people? Yeah. Yeah, no, it's pretty clear that I'm setting you up for a fake personality trait. I was interested in it for a moment.

Starting point is 00:41:39 But I moved back to reality, you're an ally, yeah. Yeah, I've also, you know, I've been a pussy or two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that, you know, I've been a pussy or two. More than an ally, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. I wish you were doing it all the time. I do too, I'm like, I really actually need help. I need to get out there, I need to go on dates, I need to be like flirting out and about.

Starting point is 00:41:55 What are you looking for? This is a perfect venue to be saying what you're looking for. Oh, I've been doing this for years. When people are like, oh my God, I get all these disgusting DMs, I'm like, I would love one disgusting DM. Can someone try to objectify me in a rude way? Like, I get all these disgusting DMs. I'm like I would love one Try to objectify me in a rude way like I can't even imagine someone to be a good sex object. If you DM me I will meet you

Starting point is 00:42:15 Like be careful cuz this is who are you looking you have to say who you want to meet you though I would like someone that is passionate about their life. Yeah into what they're doing any gender. Yeah any gender gender Okay, I'm not I will fuck up your pronoun if it's not a classic. You gotta give me grace. Will you be remorseful about it? Oh, I always will switch it right away. I will stutter and do it right, but I'm not gonna have a success rate. But if it's a new model, if it's not an OG,

Starting point is 00:42:44 I might stumble, this is what you're saying. I will stumble. Okay, that's beautiful to know about yourself. Yeah. And I think there's a lot of grace for that. It's hard for me, so you can't take it too seriously. Yeah, so I guess if you're non-binary, flirt with caution. Yeah, you might have a tough couple of dates.

Starting point is 00:43:01 I'm gonna be on it, thinking about it, but I will fuck it up. Yeah. I think that's beautiful to know about it, but I will fuck it up. Yeah. I think that's beautiful to know about yourself. That's lovely. I'm always trying. Eventually I'll have to get good with practice. Like I practice often.

Starting point is 00:43:14 I don't know why. That's how I feel with most things I do. Like I'm at Soul Psycho. I'm over 220 classes. Congrats. Still cannot do a put it back in a push. Like there's just some moves like, like can't be. There's moves. Of course there's choreo. that like can't be done. There's moves?

Starting point is 00:43:25 Of course, there's choreo. I don't, I'll be honest with you, I love you to death. And I'm very happy for you that you like it, but this is where my truth comes out. With SoulCycle, we get it. You know, it's not we get it with you, it's just with SoulCycle itself, I just don't, I can't. It's- Is it any group fitness or that one specifically?

Starting point is 00:43:41 It's SoulCycle specifically, because the way people talk about SoulCycle, like they have cured cancer when they go. I just feel that there's a self-importance about going to SoulCycle that I'm like, it feels there's a taste to it. No, no, no, yeah, there's, not everyone is as fun and cool as me at the class.

Starting point is 00:43:59 You're cool about it. Yeah. You're cool about it, and you know who, you know a group. I'm just also passionate about the teachers I go, you know like, when you see someone doing what they're so good at, you get happy. Totally. And that's how I feel with the teachers I go to. I'm like, you are meant to motivate people on these bikes. Soul cycle is much better than Peloton.

Starting point is 00:44:17 Peloton got very quickly to a place that was untenable. But you know, my favorite group workout culture, Zumba people, those are good people. Zumba people are good people. They're not ostentatious. They're not full of themselves. They mostly just have joint issues, I think. Zumba people. Zumba people are salt of the earth workout people.

Starting point is 00:44:36 I love a Zumba person. Zumba community, I love you. But I can't keep going. I'm like, I don't have rhythm. I'm not doing Zumba. I like kickboxing. I would do boxing back in the day. Nice.

Starting point is 00:44:46 You good at it? Yeah, I just, I try really hard. Yeah. Wait, I'm so sorry. We gotta get back to what you're looking for. So I'm looking for someone that's not bitter and angry at life, you know what I mean? I want someone that's into what they're doing.

Starting point is 00:44:59 That's a low bar, yeah. I would like someone that has a community of some sort, like friends or cousins, people that has like a community of some sort, like friends or cousins, somewhat like people that they like a full life. Yeah. Someone that you could leave at a party and can behave for 10 minutes, not like a shadow. They need to be able to hold their own in a social event.

Starting point is 00:45:17 Yeah. That's the biggest thing. Yeah. Please God have some social adeptness, I'm begging. And it's okay if you don't, it's just not gonna work with my lifestyle. I can't have you clinging to me like a foster dog. But I also, sometimes people go,

Starting point is 00:45:29 but you can be with someone that you just don't do these things with, and I'm like, that's not the life I want. I don't wanna go to a party and be like, oh, you know, he's anti-social at home. No, no, no, I want to live a life with a person. That's not for my partner. Correct.

Starting point is 00:45:41 I want to see stuff, and I want someone that's, I mean, this is like cheesy, but like down to lounge, I'm a lounger. Totally. But also like, I like to go to museums and see art and go to concerts and sporting events and like. I don't want you to be with a lounger. I want you to be with someone who's pretty much

Starting point is 00:45:57 spearheading the plans. I think someone would be great for you is someone who's like, hey, you're free Wednesday night, you don't have spots, okay, meet me at seven o'clock. I made the plans. Like someone who would just be like, mm. Honestly, I can't even fathom the living of life that good. You got horny when I said it.

Starting point is 00:46:11 I could feel it. I did. That's what I mean. I'm like, I was like too shy to even say I would want something like that. Yeah. I would love someone to be like, oh, surprise. Or like, yeah, we're going to do something Wednesday.

Starting point is 00:46:21 And what do you want them to look like? It's tough. It'd be so funny if you said something crazy specific Well, I'm like so opposite for the girls and guys. I'm into that's just helpful though. They need to know this okay say that I want I want burly I like Like hey like a bit yeah burly nice big big strong played football flannel. Yeah I always say we would really really really interesting. That's all yeah. Yeah, what about women um like I looks like a backstreet boy Okay, you might thinner like like Miley Cyrus is my dream girl. Okay? Yeah, I don't find that She looks like a backstreet boy. Oh like her bank like like little

Starting point is 00:47:05 little She looks like a backstreet boy. Oh like her bank like I'm like little Little thin thin you want a small girl. I like smaller boot, but that's like so specific I'm like open like obviously like I don't know what cup size do you? Say comes I'm sick and by myself no one this is when no one DM is me reveal cup size Dude, maybe do you know gays sometimes will date someone that looks just like them? Am I close? Stop.

Starting point is 00:47:28 Would they fit in here? I want to put the whole titty in my mouth. Oh, yeah. So we're talking like this guy. No, I'm kidding. No, you're not. I'm sucked on big tits. Totally.

Starting point is 00:47:36 But you want them to be small. No, I just want like, you know, there's gays that want that like, oh, you look exactly like, and then opposite arm. If you have big titties, don't hit these up. That's how it is. I want someone that's opposite of me. Yeah, you want a tiny little titty. Yeah, maybe like an a cup Yeah, it's just like two titties like that's just too much. Maybe a third we can we can together fuck a third big titty

Starting point is 00:47:54 Yeah, so your big titty third no worries You can't be Lisa's primary if you got the huge ass warlocks on your chest If you got big knockers, you're not Lisa's primary You might be someone she sleeps with on the side just for fun in an open situation, but you're not the number one, right? Not building a family with someone who's got craters on the, it's not gonna work, not craters.

Starting point is 00:48:12 The opposite of craters, mountains. I just love that, I hired PR and I was like, you really don't need to come to Caleb's show. He's my good friend and I feel like I've ruined my career before Caleb. I'm like, finally my one hour special comes out and I am like, no. With like, yeah, like girls it's opposite of me. I would say more butchie, like a soft, like more butchie, more masculine.

Starting point is 00:48:36 And then for guys, yeah, I just want like a big burly guy that wears a hat. Nice. Well, it's all good to know. A lot of stuff we can do with this information. So if you're interested, hit these up. I'd love to see you get a floor. Are you checking the DMS? Be honest. Cause if you're not, there's no reason for me to send them there. I will. I don't respond to them all, but I'll, I'll, I like slide through to see what's up. But you also can't have a private profile. Like if you're trying to like hit someone up in a sexual way, like you need to have at least like one good photo as your profile, but like have it be on private.

Starting point is 00:49:06 Can I say something? It can be a photo of a dog and it's private. I need to say something about this because you're so real. I have said on this podcast many times I have and will sleep with a fan, okay? I'm hoping that era comes to a close soon I'd love to lock it down and not be doing this shit anymore I love, God please! Yeah, I want to be married! God, oh God, I want to be. God, please, if you can hear me, deliver me from this lifestyle. I want something serious. I want something to go out to eat with.

Starting point is 00:49:28 And if you are down to learn backgammon and dominoes, that's kind of important to me. And maybe a little bit of Russian would be fun. But if you are gonna hit me up sexually in the DM requests, I need a clear face picture in the profile, if it's private. I need an age somewhere.

Starting point is 00:49:42 I need a birthday post in the last year. I need to know where you generally are in the world. I need a location and age and a face picture. These people are hitting me up. I'm getting DMs that are like, you're right, it's a picture of a mountain in the profile, everything else is locked, no bio, and it's like, hey, shooting my shot

Starting point is 00:49:57 would love to take you out in Seattle. Honey, I'll come to Seattle, but I need a headshot. Show me what you look like. And sometimes with girl DMs, I'm like, but I need a headshot. Show me what you look like. And sometimes with girl DMs I'm like, oh she's just a fan that, think some fun. Yeah you need to be explicit about it.

Starting point is 00:50:11 Yeah you gotta be explicit, a little more winky winky. But yeah, I don't know why, cause I remember I was going on dates with someone we were watching a show and I was like, oh that person's hot and they're like, oh I don't think so, I think that person's hot and I was like,

Starting point is 00:50:24 oh yeah we have opposite tastes. I was like, what we that person's hot. And they're like, oh, I don't think so. I think that person's hot. And I was like, oh yeah, we have opposite tastes. I was like, what we're into. Like you're into me and I'm into you. So that was like a cool moment to learn. But yeah, just someone that's like down, fun, flexible, adventurous, chill. Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah, honest, I kind of like honesty.

Starting point is 00:50:44 Kind of. I'm into honesty. I don't think you're gonna operate well honest, I kind of like honesty. Kind of. I'm into honesty. Yeah, I don't think you're gonna operate well with someone who's not into honesty. Yeah. You're gonna need that. As your friend, I'm telling you, that's gonna have to be upfront.

Starting point is 00:50:52 Yeah, and I would love someone that's way smarter than me, not hard, but I want someone to tell me about history. Yeah. That's my dream, someone that just knows stuff and then they can recap the books they read to me. Yeah, okay. But then they have to be okay

Starting point is 00:51:04 with someone that's not really a reader and that's what's tough. Yeah, what do you bring to the table? If you're not gonna recap books for them, what might you do for them? Okay, I'm not gonna recap books. Which is fine, you don't need to do that. Yeah, what do you do? Yeah, no, I would tell them about movies, TV shows.

Starting point is 00:51:19 Yeah, culture really. Culture, I would take them to fun stuff. But I think special things, fun stuff, but I think Special things I pay attention. I know what people like like I think it would be like very I like thoughtfulness So I I bring thoughtfulness to the table. I love that I'm like not a people but like this used to be a struggle for me where I wouldn't speak up for what I wanted because I was so Invested in making some like whatever you want or whatever you want and then I would be resentful Yeah, cuz I'm not doing what I want. Yeah, and so invested in making some, like whatever you want, or whatever you want, and then I would be resentful.

Starting point is 00:51:46 Yeah. Because I'm not doing what I want. And so that is something I have to control in myself. Like I would, I, but that's my instinct. I went on this exact same journey, where I feel like when I was a little bit younger, I was, I don't think I was ever, like you said, a people pleaser,

Starting point is 00:51:59 but I would resent people for things that I allowed them to do. And going on that journey of being like, you are allowed to dislike me, I do not care. I can't care. You can be mad at me, you can dislike me, you can not enjoy, you can also tell me you don't wanna do that thing,

Starting point is 00:52:10 but then I won't resent you because I said what I needed. I am so, that was such a big growth thing for me of being like, you can be mad at me. I'm not going to prioritize your feelings over our relationship because it will hurt our relationship if I let you do something to me or around me that I don't enjoy or appreciate and then I just resent you. That's not fair also. That's why when I feel people can't get over breakup especially for me it's not as much as what that person did it's

Starting point is 00:52:35 like what I allowed always it's like I'm always more mad at myself for for what do you mean like stuff you allowed in a relationship? Yeah. Oh interesting. Just like not seeing or being like I can't believe I was acting like that. It's not even that that person, like that I put up with the stuff, not as much as. What do you think your red flags are? I'm impatient, I fly off the handle, I'm conspiratorial. I don't know what I expected,

Starting point is 00:53:14 I don't know what I expected and also none of those are untrue but I'm impatient I fly off the handle, I'm conspiratorial. It's like you sound like every man I grew up around but the difference is the self-awareness that you have would never, they could never. I'm impatient, I fly off the handle, I'm conspiratorial. Well, I love that. And I'm a little gross. Like, I didn't shower today.

Starting point is 00:53:38 No worries. I'm just a little gross. I'm a little messy, like things don't, like I just. Cause I'm just a little gross. Yeah, I'm a little messy like things don't bought like I just I'm too messy I'm too fucking clean. No one's ever said that about me Yeah, that part never gets there. I'm like I yeah, I feel like a little careless sloppy in that way Yeah, and I Um, yeah. And I, cause I do talk a lot, but sometimes like,

Starting point is 00:54:09 I have trouble communicating when it's like a serious thing. Like conflict resolution stresses me out. But I'd like to get better at it. No, I've gotten better and better. Like the further you are away from me, the easier it is to be honest, and then the closer it is. Like I grew up in a non-communicative household, so I really have to like work on that, Yeah, I've been I'm just so interested

Starting point is 00:54:28 I guess I mean the casualness where it's like hey this bothered me. Okay about You want it you tend to make it a fight. Yeah, that's how I grew up. Okay, you scream. Yeah Silent treatment. Yeah, and then you pretend never happened. Yeah Yeah, okay. Yeah, so it took me like a long time to Realize that wasn't good. That's really good though. You can work through friends that it's not just done You know stuff like that. Yeah, but then be cut But then I would have a fear of losing someone so I wouldn't bring stuff up and it all it always eventually comes out and it Resulted in endings of friendships that probably wouldn't have happened if I was able to communicate. Yeah. More effectively. That's really self-aware and beautiful.

Starting point is 00:55:06 Yeah. I love that. Oh, I guess my other flaw, I'm not good with, like, I will spend your money. Yeah, okay. Like, you have to make sure you have a savings account that I can't get a hold of. Yeah. We'll keep separate bank accounts for you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:18 For your own good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I wanna, like, do stuff. I, yeah, pay for parking. I wanna do stuff. I'm bad with money, I wanna do stuff. That's so funny, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I want to like do stuff. I pay for parking. I'm bad with money. I want to do stuff. That's so funny, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say no. I want to go to dinner. I want to, I want to do stuff. Yeah. I've same. I want floor seats. I was living,

Starting point is 00:55:39 I was living now I was living then the way I live now when I didn't have the resources to, yeah. When I had no money, I was like, chance will tell you I overdrafted my bank account to go out to eat. When someone asked me to, I never said no. Yeah. I would be like, oh oh do I have $250 in my account? Okay, I could do a hundred dollar dinner Chicago cuz my rent was $400 always it's like yeah, you really only had to scrape up 400. Yeah, I was the old days I was back in the day. That was good stuff. I was good stuff. I remember it's so funny I was thinking the other day my rent when I was back in the day, that was good stuff. That was good stuff. It's so funny, I was thinking the other day, my rent when I was in Chicago, my rent for the place I was at for two years

Starting point is 00:56:11 was like $720 for my room. And I felt like I was moving mountains to get that done every month. And now I'm like, you really couldn't find $700 a month? Like I had a job where I was making enough to make that happen. Not crazy to not have $700 a month by the way. Anyone listening who has a different job situation

Starting point is 00:56:29 than I did, I'm not judging. I had a job that made it more than capable for me to do that, but then I look and I go, that's cause you were never saying no. You were spending money on anything but rent. And then rent was like this thing where I was like, they can't do this to me. But I also because of it.

Starting point is 00:56:42 What do you mean? But I remember I was a salon receptionist in my later teens, and everyone else was like adults living and working. I was living with my parents. My parents got me my car. I just had kind of a different situation. So I remember I was at the reception desk

Starting point is 00:56:57 with my paycheck that was like 300 something dollars. But I was trying, I was bidding on eBay to buy Anthony Kiedis from the Red Hot Chili Pepper Pants. I like wanted his pants. And everyone was like, but don't you need that money to live? And I'm like, I'll be fine. Like I didn't, like, and I just remember that moment, but I was like, I don't have enough,

Starting point is 00:57:15 but I'm buying these, I'm getting these pants. I need the pants. I didn't win the thing, thank God. That's your least favorite tattoo of yours, isn't it? Yeah. Your Red Hot Chili Peppers one? Yeah. Yeah, I like it, but you've told me that.

Starting point is 00:57:24 And my Tweety one got like, I got scarred. Yeah. So like I'm mad that I got scarred by an inexperienced person. But, you know, sometimes you have to, I don't learn lessons,

Starting point is 00:57:39 so I need to be scarred to remember maybe make an appointment ahead of time. Tattoo artists should really be faking it till they make it though. You'll get a tattoo from someone who they have such an official looking presence and shop and things and then later on you'll find out they're three months out of their apprenticeship and I'm like you should have told me. Yeah. You know I'm like whoa.

Starting point is 00:57:57 Yeah wait did you watch did you see Barbie's movie? Bob Irving likes it. Bob Trevino likes it. Barbie Ferreira's new movie. I was meant to go to a screening of it. Did you go?'s movie? Bob Irving likes it. Bob Trevino likes it. Barbie Ferreira's new movie. I was meant to go to a screening of it. Did you go? I did go. My fight got canceled, so I didn't get to go.

Starting point is 00:58:10 How was it? Cried hysterically. It was like so, so good. But the reason I brought it up was because it had something to do. Tattoo artists? Oh, she goes to a therapist who's like studying to be a therapist and she's only 12 hours into her clinical

Starting point is 00:58:27 and needs 3,000 hours. She's incredible. I can't wait to see. Bob Trivino likes it, Barbie Ferreira, and John Leguizamo. When I saw John, because I knew nothing. I was just like, you know, you introduced me to your friend. I want to feel cool. I want to go to Tribeca.

Starting point is 00:58:42 You know, like I loved everything. And I'm a film girl, but I was blown away. I was devastated to feel cool. I want to go to Tribeca. You know, like I loved everything and I'm a film girl, but I was blown away. I was devastated to miss it. Heartbreak. I mean, you're going to see it, but it's going to be a big hit because it's like... I will see it, but I really wanted to go. Barbie's so excited about it and I wanted to support her at that.

Starting point is 00:58:56 But my fight got canceled. It really was like so good. God, that's so fun. Because I went, yeah, I've also been to a screening of a friend where it was one of the worst things I'd ever seen and it was cool to experience the opposite. Yeah. It's nice to go and be like, oh actually, fuck.

Starting point is 00:59:10 Whoa, this is actually so good. Well, because she also downplayed it. Yeah. She kept me like, oh God. And then it's like, are you gonna get nominated for an award? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she's incredibly talented.

Starting point is 00:59:23 It's actually crazy. But yeah, it was like low hours. But I've gotten tattoos by people that were newer apprentices. That's how I started getting tattoos. It was like someone else that worked at the hair salon's partner was, you know, sleeping here. Yeah, get into it.

Starting point is 00:59:35 This was a shop I trusted. Yeah, it was a bummer. That is a bummer. It was a real bummer. I'm so sorry that happened to you. No, it's OK. What's so true to you, Lisa? But also, I do want to say back to trying to get people to's okay. What's so true to you, Liza? But also, I do wanna say back to trying to get people

Starting point is 00:59:45 to date me, I just want someone to be the aggressor. I feel like I'm always having to have these crushes that are like long lost, or like I'm figuring stuff out. I want someone to like put in some effort. Yeah, fuck, don't I know it. I mean. Yeah, you're the effort boy. Someone who fucking makes a plan and like, duh,

Starting point is 01:00:02 it's like, God, that would be so nice for someone else to be like, hey, I bought tickets. Hey, I made a dinner reservation. Hey, I'm grabbing the bill. Hey, I'll get, like, and it's not about money either. It's not about grabbing the bill. No, it's about generosity. It's fucking, it's logistical generosity.

Starting point is 01:00:15 It's like being like, hey, what are you doing Tuesday night? Nothing? Okay, meet me here, I've got it. Even if it's like, come over and we'll, this came out today or I just got, like I'm fine for that kind of hang. Or it's you said that you wanted to try this restaurant and it's really hard to get tables,

Starting point is 01:00:30 so I called until I got us one and we're like, it's like that's fine, you don't even need to pay for the meal, get us, do something. God, do something. It's the do something challenge and everyone's failing. Oh! It's the do something challenge. It's also like how different lives are.

Starting point is 01:00:47 I went out with two of our really, really beautiful friends. Name them. Sydney and Marie. Of course, gorgeous. I mean, they get shouted, like, oh my God, you're beautiful! Like people are running to them. Stop, it's crazy to watch. And I was telling a friend, they're like,

Starting point is 01:01:03 well, they're well known. Was it fans? I go, no. These are not people that knew who they were telling a friend, they're like, well, they're well known. Was it fans? I go, no. These are not people that knew who they were. Also that, by the way, but this is a different thing. Yes, I experienced those too. They got recognized, but it was like people being like, you're gorgeous.

Starting point is 01:01:17 If an ambulance would- Everywhere, and I was like, wow, to live that life? Like, I can't even imagine. Cause Marie was like, well, if you wanna meet someone, cause I really wanna meet someone. I've been single for like six years. Oh already know this go ahead. No, but I Yeah, well I walk down the street I know that I like guys that wear this type of brand of clothing

Starting point is 01:01:34 So I'm gonna hit up those stores do a lap and meet people I go truly Ma'am are you looking for something? Go mamly. They would put me in LaCoste jail. Mam, are you looking for something? Because you can't fit. They would put me in LaCoste jail, yeah. It's not happening for me.

Starting point is 01:01:48 So the advice sometimes that really hot, I'm like, I was so glad I got to hang out in the day with them. Yeah. Because I was like, the different lives we live, and I'm like, I want that, I want that. When they walk down the street, an ambulance with their lights on

Starting point is 01:02:04 and a patient coating in the back will stop to be like, I love your coat want, I want. When they walk down the street, an ambulance with their lights on and a patient coding in the back will stop to be like, I love your coat. Like it is, like hot people, and hot people always have these most disgusting dating advice. Like I'm not on any of the apps, I meet people out. I'm like, well guess what, when I try to do that, no one, like here's the deal,

Starting point is 01:02:17 I fuck plenty, but it takes logistical work. You know what I mean? I'm not leaving the house and not knowing that I'm fucking. It takes, I have to, there's court, there's many people at work, levers are moving that you couldn't imagine for me to get laid. You know, it's like, no, I'm not, one of my hot friends will be like,

Starting point is 01:02:31 oh yeah, just go to the bar and like see who's about. Who's about? Yeah, I go, I go sit at the bar. And they go, bam, we have a table. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I hit on someone who didn't agree to it on an app, I'll get stabbed. People are not into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I hit on someone who didn't agree to it on an app, I'll get stabbed.

Starting point is 01:02:45 People are not into it. Yeah, it's tough. So seeing that so wildly in the day and the city, I'm like, god, such different lives. Yeah, it's crazy. It's really interesting. Maybe you'll be like, just have them pay for your trip. And I'm like, yeah, OK.

Starting point is 01:02:56 Yeah. Well, you're beautiful, too. But it's a different kind of like universal thing with people who are like, I don't know dude, it's like, I just don't, it doesn't happen for me that way. I have to work, I have to find people who are into my little thing. Unless it's like, I guess midnight at a hotel bar

Starting point is 01:03:15 and I'm staying at that hotel, but I've still fumbled that. I've messed that one up, I've messed that one up. Oh god, that's so funny. Lisa, tell me what's so true to you right goddamn now. What's so true to me? Honestly, feeling grateful. Yeah, gratitude is true to you? Yeah, gratitude.

Starting point is 01:03:34 I just, with everything happening in the world, I keep, it's like so self-help-y, but I keep just sitting in my apartment and being like, oh my god, I can't believe I own an apartment in New York City. I can't believe, because at first I was, this was my first winter with a radiator heat since I was a child and the noises, I was complaining a little. Yeah. And then all of a sudden I'm like, I can't believe I have free heat. Yeah. I'm like, I have heat here, like I'm just

Starting point is 01:03:59 sitting in my own peaceful space beating bracelets. Like I can't even believe it. And not even thinking about the career stuff or being able to perform or the special or anything. Just these little things, a friendship, having people text or call or plans, it just feels cool. I ground myself all the time in this fact

Starting point is 01:04:19 and I tell often friends who are spinning out that wanna talk about it. I'm like, listen, here's the reality. If you- Because I've spun out too, yeah, the last time I spun out. Totally. And I spent out, we all spent out. But the reality is this, if you wake up in a, in a climate controlled environment that has heat or air conditioning, depending on what the thing is, if you wake up in a bed,

Starting point is 01:04:36 if you can go take a shower, if you have clean water to take a drink of, you are living a better existence than like most people who have ever lived. Still some people currently living don't have it like that. Many, many, many people do not have that. And like most people who lived ever in the whole world never had that. So just that is very grounding to me because it's like everything else is cool. I have many privileges on top of that. I'm a very lucky person. Thank God. I have warm community and a career I like and all that kind of stuff.

Starting point is 01:05:00 But like that's enough. If, if, if you have the worst day ever and people are, you know, someone's being mean to you or this relationship's falling apart or your job sucks or whatever, none of that is invalid, that's all real, that also can suck, but if you wake up in a bed and you have a climate controlled environment and clean water to drink,

Starting point is 01:05:18 that is fucking insane. That's insane. That's insane and you're very lucky for that, and we are, that's a very lucky thing. Yeah, cause when you walk around the city, people are working hard at jobs that I can't imagine they're into. Right.

Starting point is 01:05:30 People are really working really hard in a place where they're not, they don't have the free time. Yeah, and by the way. They don't have free time. Sometimes when I don't have plans or work, I don't like that. But it's like to have free time.

Starting point is 01:05:44 I, yeah, it's just the magnitude of how good my life is is kind of hit its peak. I don't know. Gratitude is a lovely so true. I like that so true for you. Yeah it feels really really true at this moment. And that's how I felt in the beginning to bring it back to how we started this where it's like where I feel cool knowing someone at the moment or feeling cool that I know a person in the movie. I think it's like, being around creative people like that, or people that are also living their dream,

Starting point is 01:06:10 like that's what's maybe like cool about it. Yeah, well, Lisa, we have one more segment for you. Yeah, I was about to say, can we play one more game? We're gonna play a game, don't look at that screen, because it's gonna be on there. So I'm not looking at it. You're not looking at that, because it has the answers up there.

Starting point is 01:06:22 And yeah, so, we have a segment for you, which you know you've played it before. Yeah, I'm gonna looking at it not looking at that because it has the answers up there and yeah so we have a segment for you which you know you've played it before yeah I'm gonna read you 15 statements you can tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false and if you get ten or more correct Lisa I'm gonna give you 50 US dollars are you ready yeah don't look at that screen I want to see your eyes firmly away from that screen Alaska has more caribou than people true true Theodore Roosevelt was blind in one eye false true the first laptop computer was blind in one eye. False. True. The first laptop computer was invented in 1981. False. True. A hexagon has eight sides. False. False

Starting point is 01:06:52 it has six. The Rainforest Cafe in Chicago is still open. False. False. Joan Rivers never won a Daytime Emmy. True. False. She won one. Yay! The standard Chinese typewriter has 1500 characters. Typewriter? The standard Chinese typewriter has 1,500 characters. Typewriter? The standard Chinese typewriter has 1,500 characters. False. That's true. There's a city in South Dakota called T. True.

Starting point is 01:07:12 There's a city in North Dakota called Bet. True. False. Lemonade was invented in 1299 AD. Ooh, true. True. The medical term for your kneecaps is the Claude. False.

Starting point is 01:07:23 False, the patella. Lego has never made a Seinfeld collector's set. False, I bought it for my friend for Christmas. There are four Al's Beef locations in Chicago. Fuck, I gotta say true. It is true. The movie version of The Wizard of Oz is three hours long. No, false. False, hour and 42 minutes.

Starting point is 01:07:40 Niles North High School's mascot is the Spartans. False. It's false, it's... The Vikings. Nice, let's false. It's... The Vikings. Nice! Let's go. How'd you actually do? Ten! Really? Yeah! I didn't think I got ten. Oh, thank God.

Starting point is 01:07:51 I feel bad I didn't know that Joan Rivers won. She is a hero. She is a hero, but hey, congratulations to her on the award, huh? I'm so happy that I got ten and I'm so happy. I can't believe... I bought that Seinfeld for a friend. Ah, that's so beautiful. Of course she did. Who? Lane, Julia's boyfriend. Oh, lovely. Yeah. I love it. Lisa, tell people friend. Ah, that's so beautiful. Of course you did, who? Layne, Julia's boyfriend. Oh, lovely. Yeah, yeah. I love it.

Starting point is 01:08:08 Liza, tell people where they can find you in the special. Netflix, Night Owl, January 28th, can't wait, and then, or it's already out, and then Glitter Cheese on the internet, and that's messed up, and SVU podcast on podcasts. When Liza's episode comes out, the special will be out. I really wanna be in top 10. I really wanna be in top 10.

Starting point is 01:08:28 So if you can watch it as soon as you can, I would like that. Go see it. And maybe it's desperate. I don't need external validation, JK. I need it. I need to be in top 10 because I wanna be on Watch What Happens Live.

Starting point is 01:08:37 Of course. And he doesn't respect people unless you're in the top 10. Unless you're top 10. I need Indigo and his respect. Watch the special. I also, I wanna eat the hot wings. Unless you're top 10. I need Indigo and respect. Watch the special. I also, I want to eat hot, I want to eat the hot wings.

Starting point is 01:08:47 Yeah. And to eat the hot wings and get asked those questions, you need to be popular. You need to be top 10, frankly. You need to be top 10. So watch the goddamn special. Lisa, I love you so much.

Starting point is 01:08:55 I love you. I'm so proud of you. Congratulations, baby. That was a Head Gum podcast. Hi guys, I'm Ago Wodim. Check out my new show, Thanks Dad, now on Head Gum. I was raised by a single mom podcast. figures like Bill Burr, Kenan Thompson, Adam Pally, Hasan Minaj, Tim Meadows, Andy Cohen, and many, many more. I get to ask them the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad like, how do I know if

Starting point is 01:09:32 the guy I'm dating is the one? Or how can I change the oil in my car? Can you even show me that? Or better yet, can you help me perfect my jump shot? I am so bad at basketball. Oh my gosh. Maybe I'm bad at basketball because I don't have a dad, but subscribe to Thanks Dad on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

Starting point is 01:09:49 Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday.

So True with Caleb Hearon - Liza Treyger Returns

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