So True with Caleb Hearon - Mary Beth Barone Returns

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Mary Beth Barone! Mary Beth and Caleb talk the Golden Globes, extravagant weddings, taking big swings, and much more!  Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/  Follow Mary Beth! @marybethbarone  Follow the show! @sooootruepod  Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings  Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Get a free can of OLIPOP: drinkolipop.com/sotrue  Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com/SOTRUE   Find exactly what you’re booking for. Booking.com, Booking.YEAH! Book today on the site or in the app. Try Trü Frü! Blue bags with fruit found in the freezer aisle! So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York.  A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wave. But I do think that I'm starting behind the eight ball, as they say with people. I'm constantly winning people over. I'm not starting with, people are not coming into interactions with me, presuming positive intent. They're presuming negative intent. You mean to tell me that you genuinely identify as an underdog? Unfortunately, I would say in this current moment.

Do you ever get worried, you're like, well, that's the last funny thing I'm going to say. No. I'm worried about not being funny on this. I get so sad. because I know that the funniest things I'll ever say haven't even happened yet. That's really powerful. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you know what? Actually, one of my like meditations for this year is, one of my meditations for this year is the best things are yet to come. And what I mean by that and sit with every single morning, there are a couple things I sit with every morning. One of them is when I am 90 years old, which I will be, looking back on my life thus far. But when I'm 90, there's so much left to do.

Totally. The things that I will be the happiest about and most proud of have literally not even occurred yet in this moment. Wow. They're all ahead of me. They're in tomorrow next week, next month. Really puts things into perspective. Well, it doesn't even matter if it's true, by the way. You just have to tell yourself that in order to live.

Living a happy life is about the lies that you tell yourself. And it's a beautiful and important thing to do. It's about the delusion. 100%. And I'm happy to be delusional. I also tell myself every morning that I am a loving person in a world that loves me back. And that one's beautiful. I believe that.

That one's sweet. For you. I don't believe it for me. Which part? You're not loving or the world doesn't love you back? What do you mean? Why would you say that? You have a beautiful, charmed life.

For now. Are you practicing enough gratitude, Mary Beth? I practiced gratitude. I could definitely practice it more. And thank you for calling me in on that. I'm calling you out. It feels like in. It felt like in in that moment.

It's in for sure. I just, I think I have a lot of gratitude. I just wish that like, I wish I felt joy more. I'm working on it in therapy. Yeah? Yeah. What is, how is that going? Like, what is going to be the solution?

We just started last week. We just started talking about it. That's good. It's something I've been aware of for a long time, though. Yeah. Well, so what did you say when you brought it up to your, like, I'm not joyful enough. Well, I think it was more like when good things happen, are you able to really like internalize that?

And I was like, well, no. Yeah. Is that something people are doing? Yeah. Wait. Hold on. Were people internalizing joy the whole time? Because that's not something I have been practicing.

Certainly not. No. Gratitude, yes. And I think, I think it was really important for last year to end for me so that I could start this new chapter of 2026. And then I found out today that Egg Shop and Williamsburg is closing on Sunday. And I'm thinking like, what else? You know, like what else could go wrong? Egg shop, it's an establishment in Williamsburg. Delicious little breakfast spot that I go, I used to go with Pinky all the time, my dog. And now it's closing forever. And I don't know why. Did you what? Egg Shop, please reach out and let us know what occurred. A twink DM to me today and told you. me. A Twink DM'd you. I can't imagine how much that happens to you. It's relentless, but I wouldn't have it any other way. That's something I've gratitude for. Do you know what's so funny? You're getting a million DMs a day from Twinks. I'm getting a million DMs a day from straight guys and lesbians. We need to. We have to figure this out. Yeah, well, the lesbians are all barking at me

and hitting on me. I mean, the way that lesbians objectify me is actually like, it's approaching problematic, but I find it so beautiful that I'm not willing to report. And, and, And yeah, it's getting really, really dangerous. I do feel that someday I'll be killed by a lesbian who wanted me so bad that they had to, like, take me off the market. If they can't have you, no one can. It will be like that. It's the vibe that I'm getting. I have, there are a lesbian, every time I post a cute picture of myself trying to, like, garner interests from gay men that's like outside of the realm of grinder.

You know, sometimes I want to be, I want to be lusted after on Instagram. Of course. Every time, it's just 17 million lesbians asking where I got my sweater. And mine, and just to, here's what I think. I think we could, together we could change the world. what I'm saying. Because my DMs, as I mentioned, twinks and bisexual girls.

Yeah. So we've covered, we've covered the entire spectrum. Yeah. And once we're ready to activate, mobilize, I think they'll be ready, but I hear you. It's like my thirst traps when I post them,

I'm not, it's like gay guys saying mother, love, by the way. And I want that. Yeah. But it's no straight guys saying mother. Well, you don't want the straight guys to say mother.

Although that is what they want most straight guys. I know. I know. They want it to be mothered. But you have to figure out how to make, you have to figure out how to position yourself as mother without them knowing. Yeah. It has to be sort of an inception situation.

Yeah, you have to be both mother and wife. You have to be both Madonna and whore. And I'm ready. Put me and coach. Are you? I think so. So what we're working on this year is finding a new breakfast spot,

experiencing joy, and being both Madonna and horror. And horror. Yeah. And I'm open to being a Madonna and horror for a woman. I'm sort of, I'm sort of down for whatever. I think if you were Madonna and whore for a woman,

it would be incredibly progressive and turn everything sort of on its head. Well, and that's what I'm trying to do with both my stand-up and my personal life. Yeah? How is that going? And how is that showing up for you? Stand-up is good.

I'm practicing. I love saying I'm practicing. I'm practicing stand-up right now. Yeah. And it is a religious practice in a lot of ways, but I'm doing my Netflix special on March 19th, so I'm trying to get all my reps in and tread the boards, as they say.

Yeah. And we're always saying that. Just so I feel really prepared and, you know, I'm sort of, I feel like preparation is, it pays off. Yeah. And I just thought of that. Yeah, that's really beautiful. And you just came up with that on the spot even.

Yeah. Do you remember the last time you came on the show, we, we sort of continue to get in trouble for talking about pit bulls? You and. I'll bring it up again. I don't care. I don't care. Fuck them. I don't, I would say.

Oh, we got in trouble for a lot on that. I don't know if you saw that the pro gun, Instagram people, TikTok, Twitter found that we said that if you melted every gun, you would never have another shooting. And they're like, you can build a gun. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, okay. Some of this stuff gets sent to me. I deleted TikTok a long time ago, and I am not participating at all anymore. I'm not participating at all anymore.

I'm out. I'm off. We clip this, put it out. Dear Media, clip this. So you're not posting, like even for the pod? No, I'm, I, Caleb, I'm off. Caleb, the internet guy presence is still there and managed by Virginia. Thank you, sweetie.

I love you. So the videos go out, but I'm not reading it, watching it. I can't be involved. But I have heard tell that. we have once again, there's two clips that right wing outlets love to like spin up with me.

One is you and I talking about guns and I said that we should melt them all and there'd never be another shooting. They hate that, they think I'm an idiot. Which is fine because I said, I can't believe these two can vote. Yeah, and they're revolting. And I think that those people, like they're legitimately so many people in right wing

online circles, there will be a change in the tides eventually where it's not a right wing despot in power and it'll be someone like us. they're in big trouble. They're in huge trouble. And then Norrie Reed and I, there's a clip that goes like right wing viral every week of us.

We could, you can't imagine two comedians talking more facetiously. Right. We're talking. Satire? It's over their heads. So jokingly about being happy that our dads died because they were white men.

I think at one point we literally say every time a straight white man dies, a trans person gets their wings. Like we're talking so, and right wing people foaming at the mouth like, these fat blah like they're so mad so one thing i wanted to bring up since you just mentioned that you are still posting clips of the podcast on tic-tok but you personally are not on there i've been trying to i've explaining my friends why i'm having trouble sleeping lately and it's because so i don't know if you've

ever felt this and maybe not i have felt it and it's keeping me up at night yeah you're not sleeping i'm tossing and turning yeah i feel like you know how the ai singularity thing or maybe it's not a i but just singularity in general is like when we've uploaded like our consciousness to the cloud and we don't have use for like physical form anymore. Yeah. I feel like as a person that's on the internet and trying to like be a public figure or whatever, I feel like that's sort of happening already. Or like part of my consciousness is existing all the time on the internet.

I'm never sleeping on the internet because like your your content is constantly being interacted with commented on. It's like you're living a whole life on there. And it's like it keeps me awake now. And so I feel like we're sort of like inching towards that and it's really scaring me. Yeah. And I don't, I want my physical form. Like as much as I abuse it and I hate what I look like, I want it still.

Do you hate what you look like? Sometimes, most of the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I find that very surprising. You're so beautiful. I'm surprising you a lot today. You are.

Wait till I start hating on you. It's just, I'm looking forward. It's really tough when beautiful people hate the way they look. Thank you for saying that. It really brings my audacity to light. You know what I mean? Because I am beautiful, but I'm also fat in a society that hates fat people. And so the fact that I genuinely go through the day being like, God, I'm hot.

And then to hear that someone who gets to be so thin, it can dislike their appearances. Well, God, Mary Beth, it just makes me sick. And that's why I wanted to come on the podcast. To talk about thinness. To talk about thinness and how it is actually really hard. Yeah. And it's a tough thing you're going through. Yeah, it's really hard.

Yeah. I can understand that totally. I mean, the number of people, I've lost like a little bit of weight recently. Not trying, just sort of something that's happening. And people are really sounding off about it. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that I noticed. Okay. Because I'm perceptive and I'm always, I'm clocking people's tea everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. My tea's been clocked. You can't, you can't pull some shit like that and think that I'm not going to notice. You think I'm not going to notice a change in appearance? I'm going to notice. I'm not going to comment on it unless it is brought up in a public forum, like on a podcast. And here we are.

So are people asking about if you're on GLP1? Not asking. Telling me. People, my D. I would say every time I post a picture of myself lately, it is. and I really want this to stop. This is like beyond inappropriate and not something I enjoy.

Just many, many, many people being like really disappointed that you're on OZMPIC. I am not on OZMPIC. I don't believe in that stuff unless you need it for a medical reason. I'm not interested in it. I am just like, yeah,

I'm, it's, yeah, I'm really, really annoyed by people's, we still, I just feel like we have this conversation so often, like a million different ways about how we shouldn't comment on this stuff. Yeah. And people just feel so emboldened to like talk about your body in a way that I'm like, I don't understand it.

It just, yeah, there's a disconnect between people who find it like to be one of the worst things you could possibly do to someone is to bring up their appearance and then people who just feel like it's open, it's open season to just sort of talk about it. Yeah. I mean, I don't, yeah, it's hard because there are, of course, people whose bodies I would love to comment on. Of course. That's instinctual.

By the way, I'm commenting on people's bodies. Of course, but not public. Not publicly. Not to them. Hello. Save it for the group chat. I'm in private being like, she's gotten busted. Like, hello. People need to utilize group chats. If you're about to post something. Hello. Look into your camera and say this, because I know you're about to give a word.

If you're about to post something, if you're about to start a discourse, yes. Please send it to your group chat. We don't need it. We actually don't need to hear it. We definitely don't need to see it. The comfortability people have with putting their face as the, as the, What are you doing? Say it. What are you doing? Say it.

At least send it to the group chat first and see if you got it out of your system. Let's just see what the response is. Yeah. See if you feel better. Maybe you get four laugh reacts and you go, that's a good day. Sometimes you know what you can do? And yes, four laugh reactions is incredible. Yeah.

Especially for a normal person. Especially if it's a five-person group chat. Please. Yeah. And I just think you can even record, you can go so far as to record the video. Type out the, type out the Instagram story. Yeah. You don't have to post it.

Yeah. Let's just, let's just. Let's just pull back a little bit. I can't tell you the number of times that I type out an Instagram create mode, which is my canvas. And Instagram create mode is my canvas. Of course. It's where I feel most special and most locked in. Instagram create mode is actually a place where I can play.

And it's a place where I show up fully as myself. You know William Shakespeare's Quill pen? Yes. It's like that. That's my Instagram create mode. But the number of times I do an Instagram create mode like screed and I go, I'm going to post this on Maine. And then as I'm typing, I go, I go. go it's close friends. And then as I'm typing, I go, I'm going to send this to seven people

specifically. Because close friends is an area where I actually can't even play that much anymore. No, I've seen people burn. You can't trust anyone. You can't trust anyone. And also, I've put too many like, I used to at least be able to talk about my love life on close friends. I can't do that because I have lovers on there now. Yeah. My lovers are on close friends. And that's exactly where they should be. That's where they should be. But you think I can talk about, I want to talk about what's going on with my roster right now. I can't do that. I've got lovers on there. No. And I think what you just described, the idea of thinking I'm going to post us publicly, then to close friends, then you save it for the group chat.

Good mental health indicator. Yes. And good judgment. Wellness. It's wellness. Wellness. And I think that I'm happier bringing this to the podcast because I think more people need to understand the life cycle of a thought.

It can be just that. Yeah. And also, think about your lovers. Imagine that every lover you have or whatever want to have is reading the things you're posting. I can't. I'm just amplifying. I can't.

There's nothing to add to that. I just amplify. I think we should be using. close friends to communicate subliminally with the people that we have crushes on. Currently, sort of famously, I don't have a crush on anyone. So my close friends is truly just my closest friends and my family. Yeah, that's beautiful. And they're seeing pictures of my dog days before I post the same pictures of my dog on me.

Yes, which is the privilege of being close to you. Exactly. I messaged a guy on Grindr the other night. He, like, tapped me, give a little interest alert. And I messed him and I said, look, I know that we're going to hook up tonight, but I just want us both to promise we won't fall in love. And we like joked around for a little bit. And then it was like super late.

And I was like, okay, we're not going to hook up tonight. But we are going on a date next week. And I do feel randomly like, look, is there a chance this is my husband? I have a problem where I over-identify with the meet cute. I have a lot of meat-cutes in my life and I over-identify. And I go, this has to be my husband now. This is my chance. You know?

And how do they? I guess it speaks volumes about someone based on their response to a DM like that. Because can't we just have a little fun? That's the thing is I'm trying. I am being silly on Grindr and not a lot of, not a lot of people enjoying it. Well, I don't think people, yeah, I don't think of Grindr as a jovial place.

But I'm being silly in a way where I will fuck you. You know what I mean? You alone could change the culture. I'm trying to change gay guy culture. I want gay guys to, I want gay guys to have more fun, you know? And I want straight guys to have more fun. I'm doing bits with them.

I actually was thinking of you the other day because not that you've done this, but so many of my straight girlfriends would be like, oh, you're so lucky. All the good guys are gay. And I'm like, I love and appreciate that mentality, but until you've had to go on a date with a gay guy, until you've had to agree to some of the things I've had to agree to in conversation

just to get asked. Like, I have to agree. There are women I've never even heard of that I have to agree to our mother. And like, it's not, it's a nightmare. It's not different than talking about baseball, okay? It's like the same thing. No, I know. We are the same, we're fighting the same battles out there.

Yes. which is that we ultimately want to be hanging with women. Just in different fonts. Just in different fonts, actually. Yeah, if those women knew gay guys, they would know that a lot of the bad ones are gay as well. Most. I mean, yeah, being a man is such a precarious thing.

It's not real. We don't have an explanation for it in nature. No. Being a man. No. And talking to a man. It's hard. I hate that it's happening to you right now.

I know. Well, I'm actively not talking to them, but when I do and when I get back out there, yeah, or straight guys, I mean. Right. When I get back out there, I just want to have more fun. I feel like I could even turn the volume up a little bit on that because I'm getting to a level of comfortability where I just don't care if they think I'm insane. Yeah.

So I'm just going to, I'm going to have fun. And I'm going to look back on those bits that I did, be it one-sided or not, and I'm laughing. Fondly. I'm laughing. I'm looking back with fondness. And I'm telling my friends, I go, I did this great bit the other day with this straight guy. Yeah. And I'm telling them and we're all laughing.

Yeah. The guy's never speaking to me again. Yeah. But that's not what's important, is it? Truly, stepping out of your, I'm trying really hard to step out of my worried about being perceived as insane by a lover trauma. Because it is stopping, worrying about being perceived as insane by a lover is stopping me from finding my husband, I feel. I need someone who's actually going to receive my, we have to promise we won't fall in love tonight when we've never spoken a word to each other. I need that to be received with an excitement.

You need to be yes anded. You need to be yes and did. I'm sorry, I didn't train an improv for nothing. Um, no, and I'm having fun with it. And I'm sorry if you can't keep up. Yeah. Actually, I'm not sorry. You should probably leave. We are going to cut something that I just said that was inappropriate. I think circling to my point, gay guys in open relationships are a problem for me. Why are you talking to me? You already found your person. There's something called greed and we're seeing a lot of it. Gluttony even. Gluttony. And it's really ruining my life.

Well, as a woman, a bisexual woman that was in an open relationship as well. Hold on. Can we sit with that? Let's let that sink in. Because... Let's let that sink in. As a woman, first of all, to be a woman in this space, thank you. Keep going. I would say that straight men in open relationships also need to be stopped as someone who was dating one for several years.

I benefited from being in an open relationship with a man as a bisexual woman because I got to hook up with women. that time. Yeah. And that was a very beautiful and rewarding experience for me. Yeah. Is it is an open relationship something that I would ever do again at this point in my life? I can honestly say no.

Now, let's say I'm with someone for 20 years. Yeah. I'm minimum. This is everyone's big fantasy by the way. I'm minimum 54 at this point, by the way. Yeah. But still have a lot of sexual energy. Yeah.

And I am shooting a show in Budapest for eight months. And there's a 27-year-old grip. Yeah. Who wears the hell out of those car heart pants? It's all, dude. Let's just say maybe there'd be some negotiations. At this point in my life, it's not happening for me. I don't want it.

I'm not seeking that. And I learned that that's just not who I am at this point. Here's what I want to say. This is something I'm experimenting with. And as we know, everything I say on this podcast is subject to pretty immediate disavowal. Yeah. That's what podcasts are for. That's what my life is.

Yeah, that's what my life on the podcast is about. But here's something I'm experimenting with right now. They're, these are the, I talk to gay guys about open relationships and they end up in two different camps. They go, I'm firmly open right now. I want to be in an open relationship immediately when I start dating someone. Or they go, well, we wouldn't be closed forever. Of course, down the line. We start out closed, but of course later on we would open it. Here's something I'm trying to bring to the community. We meet me and a guy. Yeah. Neither of us is dating someone else. We start dating each other. Yeah. We fall deeply in love. I'm going to cry. And we build a family and a life together. And then we die as each other's only lovers. never touch another person from that point forward. And of course we lost after them. And of course we say when we're in our 60s, we're sitting in the Bahamas and we see the cabana boy who's like 28 and he's looking really good in the trunks and we go, God, it would be nice to take him back to our room.

And maybe he's interested in he flirts and we go, that's really sweet. We're flattered. But no. No. Yeah. The only person for me is my partner. That's beautiful. I want to bring back a type of love that is suffocating.

Capitalist almost. Yes. It's a high ownership. Mutual ownership of one another. That's what I'm interested in experimenting with right now. What if we fall deeply in love and no one ever gets to do anything to us ever again except each other? And what does it say about this current moment that we're in, that that feels radical.

Hello. It feels bad. To me, can I just say it feels bad? And I do want to say that my heart goes out to all the gay men who feel that there is a void inside them that can only be filled by many, many lovers. Yeah. Sometimes at the same time, sometimes just, you know, it's, it's, it's, It's all, I just, my heart goes out because I do feel that it is, it was done to you guys.

I don't think you're born. But then maybe it's just like men being men. Maybe if straight guys could do that, they also would, but I, I just, my heart goes out. Do you feel that you're overstepping right now? No. I don't either. I don't. But I wondered for a moment.

And can I tell you why? Yeah. I have a deep love. And we've talked about this as well. And it's one of our big differences. I have a deep love for gay men. I have a deep love for gay men, don't say that. I have a deep love for them, and I feel that...

You have a deeper love because you don't have to date them. Exactly. Yeah. And if I did, I maybe, I wouldn't maybe feel this way. But I think... And I'm sure there's people that are going to be like, eh, me, me, me, just annoying about this. I'm like, I'm living, I am living as a member of the community,

and I am trying to uplift gay men at every opportunity. I'm trying to uplift every letter in the LGBTQIA, at any moment. So I really stand on business and I stand on my actions. And I, the reason I feel like I can speak on this is because I am so close with so many community members that I have a pretty big sample size. Yeah. And that's where I'm coming from. And it's never, and it's never like a criticism. Oh, you should stop doing this. It's more like I, I'm here for you. And I hope we get to a place where you feel like you don't have to. My journey is that when I was younger, I hated the idea of an open relationship because I was insecure.

I didn't want my person to be out fucking other people because I feared that they would go out and find something better than me. Then I got to a place where I was like, that's not going to happen. If you've chosen to be with me, it's because you love what I have going on. Yeah. And we can sleep with other people because they offer fun, other sexual things. But he knows where home is. Totally.

And so now you feel like... Hold on. Okay. Because there's been another metamorphosis. that was the last couple of years. He knows where home is was a beautiful chapter. But the thing with chapters, it's so interesting is the end. And new ones begin.

Yeah. He knows where homas was such a beautiful era of my life. It's a beautiful ethos. It's poetic. And I'm sure it works for a lot of people. I bet it does. And right now I'm experimenting with and I might look, he knows where home is.

The other thing about books is sometimes the theme comes back up. Sometimes you repeat a situation or an idea. Right now, I am experimenting with the idea that arranged marriages might be a good idea, that like a beautiful unceasing commitment to another person might be the answer. Unwavering no way out. Unwavering no way out, it's a punishment in a beautiful way. I think that's how a lot of couples feel.

They do. And I'm experimenting with it because I think it would be beautiful at this point. Look, I've slept with a lot of people. I'm not going to lie to you. No, and same. Right? And now I'm like, what would it be like? to commit to someone no matter what.

I can't wait to find out for you. Also, one thing I do want to say is that my, my opinions are my opinions and they can be wrong, but they're mine. You know what I mean? Like, I make a lot of declarations. As you know, I have a podcast of my own. And one thing I will always say is like,

I might be wrong, but like I can't change how I feel. Yeah. And I could change my mind at any moment, by the way. That's what's so beautiful about being a Gemini. I'm seeing both sides of the coin. And I might change my mind. But this is where I'm at right now. And this is where you're at,

is that you think maybe maybe there is a romantic entanglement you could see that feels like something you are trapped in. And there can be a lot of beauty in that. I think, look, am I being sincere when I say that? I don't know. But I am experimenting with the idea that he knows where home is was just a chapter. And when I think about only sleeping with one person for the rest of my life, do I become like borderline suicidal?

Of course. Yeah. But I want to commit to somebody, you know, and I want to have kids with somebody. and I think maybe, yeah, maybe there's something to it. Now, am I entertaining several guys right now at the moment? So much so that I have to, so much so that I have to have an iPhone note of sort of who I'm supposed to be keeping up with.

Yes, that is the situation right now. But I'm dreaming of a better life for myself. And I want to say what you said, that your opinions are your opinions. That was really powerful. And I have my own version of it. And that is that my opinions are your opinions. What I say is true, and it's how the people who listen to me feel.

Feel. And if you're listening to something that I've said, that is, I'm speaking for all of us. I speak for everybody. Well, we hold a mirror up to society. Yes. People forget that sometimes. And if you don't like what you see. It's not me.

It's not me. I'm just here holding the mirror. Don't bite the hand that holds the mirror, sugar. Please do not. Don't, don't fucking even try. Don't bite the hand that holds the mirror, sugar. bite the hand that holds the mirror. I'm saying just look into it and see what you see in there.

See what you see. And start with him. Change it. Start with him, Michael Jackson. It's not easy. It's a lot of responsibility holding a mirror up to society like this. It is. Okay.

We talked about dating and love. I feel like we really captured that. But what else do we need to... Because you know, Marybeth... Well, I do want to say also you mentioned that you have a podcast ride with Benny Skinner, who's a brilliant comedic mind and a... wonderful person and you guys are both friends of mine and I want to let the listeners know that off camera you were lamenting to me in our brief catch up. I had a feeling this is going to come up.

You were, you were lamenting to me that you guys have only wanted a few people to come as guests on your show and you have been unable to get them. And of course that hit me hard because I have not been asked. And I'm, I would comfortably say I'm one of the podcast guests of our generation. Yeah. And that doesn't bring me pleasure. That's just my situation. And so for two of my good friends to not ask me on their podcast, and then for one of them actually to come into my home and complain to me that they're not able to get the people that they want on the show,

I did want to just give you a chance to clear the air on that. Now all I can say to that is I see you. Thank you. I hear you. Right. We're listening. Right. And what I then went on to tell you is that we've only tried to get three people.

Yeah. And that we certainly have you on our list of people that we want to have on the podcast one day. Yeah. We don't do a lot of guests. But we will have, I have a feeling that we will. I can't predict the future. But if I, let's just say if I was betting on Polly Market. Yeah.

If I was placing a bet, which they now want everyone to become gambling addicts in this country and the world. I would put a lot of money on Caleb Heron appearing on Ride the Pod. Okay. That means the world to me. Yeah. I think it would be special. But that's not actually what I was trying to get into. What I was trying to get into is the responsibility of,

of the podcaster in today's society. Yeah. Which you and I carry that yoke, uh, heavily on our shoulders. Um, and I think part of what we're supposed to be doing here is, you know, fixing society. Folks, today's episode is sponsored by our friends at Ollie Pop. The Super Bowl was this past week. And I actually did a really fun event in SF. Do they like when you do SF?

I forget. SF is good. I did a really fun event in SF for the Super Bowl with my girl, Kylie Kelsey. Uh, we played bingo. It was so much fun. We gossiped, and I can't tell you what we gossiped about because some of it was private. But we gossiped, and by the way, anybody who was at the event will tell you, I predicted, everybody here can attest, I predicted Seahawks by 15 plus. So, some are saying, I'm a genius.

Then, for the big game itself, I was actually here in L.A., and I ate 18,000 calories at my Airbnb and felt sick all day long. And I gotta tell you, Ollie Pop is the ultimate drink to wash Game Day snacks down with because not only is it delicious, you're also sneaking in some fiber. And I did actually drink an oliveop. And I did feel like I was doing something healthy after eating so many chicken wings, it should be outlawed.

Did you know that 95% of Americans don't get the daily recommended amount of fiber? I'm always talking about this. Olipop is tackling this issue with a new kind of soda that tastes good and is actually good for you. Oliapop contains prebiotics. Of course I know what that is. That supports digestive health.

Each can has 6 to 9 grams of fiber and only 2 to 5 grams of sugar. And now fans of this show can get a free can of oliveop. Buy any two cans of olipop in store and we'll pay you back for one. Can't do both. Sorry, can't do it. Just go to drinkollipop.com slash showtrue and follow the instructions. Olipop is sold online at drinkollipop.com and Amazon and available in almost 50,000 retailers nationwide,

including Costco, Walmart, Target, Whole Foods, Kroger, and H.E.B. Shout out Texas, for real. I don't know about you, but the thought of organizing all my finances on my own gives me a real headache. Lucky for you, Rocket Money takes the guesswork out of this sort of stuff so you can easily make smart decisions. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

See all your subscriptions at one place and know exactly where your money is going. For ones you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help you cancel them in just a few clicks. Get those out of here. They have the tools that automatically create transaction categorization across accounts plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns and add context. wanting to start saving for that big family vacation this summer, these tools are here to help. Oh, you know what made me think of?

White family vacation, beach photo shoot with khakis and white button downs. Do you know that? Classic. I want to do one of those with my kids someday. Let Rocket Money help you reach out, reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash showtrue. That's rocketmoney.com slash so true. This episode is sponsored by our friends at TrueFru.

In a world where there's hundreds, if not thousands of options when you're looking for an exciting new snack to try. True fruit is making that choice easier than ever. I actually really love eating these. My favorite flavor is probably, oh God, what is this one? I like, the red one. Nature's strawberries. Frozen, frozen, fresh, and white and milk chocolate.

Just how I like it. Go back over there. True fruit is made with real fruit and real chocolate or yogurt, and you can taste the quality in each bite. You keep them in the freezer to ensure they stay fresh and ready to grab when you want something sweet. True fruit is the ultimate treat. The ultimate treat was my nickname in college.

Oh, Caleb, you too much. True fruit is the ultimate treat that's also made from real ingredients, so it feels like a better dessert option without sacrificing taste. They're perfect for everyday snacking. In any occasion, grab a handful of true fruit when you're watching TV or maybe when you're winding down at the end of a long day or put them out on the kitchen table next time you're hosting friends and watch the feeding frenzy begin.

I'm always saying that. Be sure to save it back for yourself, though. Trust me, they go fast. So next time you're at the grocery store, be on the lookout for those blue bags with fruit found in the first. freezer aisle. Thank you, Truefrew for sponsoring this episode and for sponsoring our bingo show that Kylie and I did before the Super Bowl. That was so fun. This episode is brought to you by booking.com. Booking offers, this is one of my favorite ones. Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and

vacation rentals across the U.S. You can find exactly what you're booking for. There's something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. Yeah, I know a couple of those guys. No. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, you're your sleep light, rise early mom, or your high-maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for. When I go on vacations with friends, something I must have is a kitchen with a nice big oven and stovetop where I can cook mouth-watering meals for my friends and loved ones. People who eat together stay together.

If we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. I actually have heard myself more saying things that I'm like, why did I have to say that? Like, I could just not say that. I remember I was talking to my ex's friend and he was like,

oh, a lot of people say the new Matilda's really good. And I was like, well, you know, they're getting a lot of flack for using a fat suit in that movie. Yeah. And I just said, who fucking cares? How can't say that? Who cares? Could anything matter less than that? I'm saying. Why would I take away the joy of children liking the movie Matilda by bringing something up that maybe there were a few tweets about. It's like, who cares? Do you know what I think? The only way that Hollywood is going to end this fat suit

controversy once and for all is to put me in a big one. Like, put me in a big... I'm talking like bigger than Brendan Fraser in the whale. I'm talking like, put me in a fat suit that we have never seen before and give me a... It would have to be like Norbit, Resbushia,

like bigger than that. Yeah, bigger. Like I would need to do that. We need to like just once and for all, like in the fat suit controversy. It is the fat suit. The movie is called fat suit. And you put me in the biggest fat suit we can find and we just do something awesome. We do like, we do like Austin Powers.

Like when he's like he does like the fat bastard. No, I think it's about someone like that who just lives a normal life. Yeah. Day to day. Well, yeah. They tried to do that with the whale, but they forgot to give him any dignity. Yeah. I mean.

And I'm. They had him almost die jerking off to like a pizza. Eating chicken wings. That was kind of, they had a chance to give him just like a normal guy who's like a teacher online. And then they had him ascend into heaven at the end of the movie because he couldn't stop jerking off with pizza. Wait,

I'm sorry, but I was trying to say earlier, we as podcast, uh, aficionados, we have a responsibility to fix things in the world. And I think we, we fix love and dating.

Yeah. Is there anything else that's been on your mind? Yeah, and I'm really thankful to have the platform to talk about this. So I don't think It Girls should have weddings. And if they do, they shouldn't post about them. Yeah. I think weddings are for the proletariat. Yeah.

It girls have everything else in the world. Yeah. I think weddings are the one thing that normal girls get. Yeah. They get to feel like a princess for a day. It girls feel like a princess every day. Yeah. I don't need to see them in a white dress standing in front of a bunch of rows of chairs of people in formal wear.

Yeah. We've seen it. Yeah. And so I think if you are going to do that, it should be no phones. You should have yonder cases. All of your guests should lock their phones in yonder cases. It's for family. It's intimate.

I don't need to see that. And I'm not coming for any one It Girls specifically because I saw that a few It Girls have had weddings in the past 12 to 18 months. And it really struck me as like they're taking something away. And I don't identify as an it girl, but should I reach that status? Yeah. I won't have a wedding and post about it. Yeah.

Because I think it's, I think it's, It just doesn't sit right with me. If you have more than 750,000 followers on Instagram, it's a courthouse wedding for you. It's going to have to be a courthouse wedding. It's going to be intimate. Maybe you're not wearing, you're not even wearing shoes, maybe.

I want the judge's phone in a yonder case. Completely. Yeah. I don't want to see anything. I don't want documentation to be public. Yeah. I think that's just, that's just, again, an opinion of mine.

Yeah. And it's just something I've been wanting to speak on without offending anyone because I don't, I don't think that it girls should get offended. Yeah. Can I just go a step further and say that. Girls don't have the right to be offended.

You have everything. Yeah. I do think that as a person who professionally gets attention, I have never been interested in a wedding because I think a wedding to me, I'm just like, I don't, why would I do that? Right. If I'm going to get everyone together, let's do a show. I want to do some stand-up. Yeah, let me perform.

Yeah, I completely agree. I think that it's lost its appeal for me. What would feel more subversive is to do something small where it's like all my closest friends and family. Do you know what I, here's what I'll say, though, just as a fun idea. If we keep allowing it girls to have weddings, they need to do the divorces in the same manner. Dress up, ceremony, phones out, pictures everywhere. And can I just say, like, I would love to take a peek at the pre-nup.

Yeah. What are you hiding? Publish the pre-nup. Do you feel that you're at this point in your life, do you feel that you've become unlikable yet to the regular person or do you feel still pretty connected? I was unlikable before. How so? I think.

Oh, you grew up pretty. I think it's. Well, I, and this is going to make me sound bad too. It's just like the way my face looks. Yeah. People think I'm always going to be coming in with negative energy, I think. Yeah. And so I've had, yeah, I mean, being, being blonde and having a dog completely changed my relationship with the service industry.

And I've taken those lessons that I learned from being blonde and I put them in action as a brunette. Yeah. And I think that people's, people, when people see me, they think that that's, they just make a lot of a assumptions about me, which aren't true because I have a heart of gold. And if you know me, you know that. Yeah. But I do think that I'm starting behind the eight ball, as they say, with people. I'm constantly winning people over. I'm not starting with, people are not coming into interactions with me presuming positive intent. They're presuming negative intent. You mean to tell me that you genuinely identify as an underdog? Unfortunately, I would say in this, in this current moment,

in this current moment, yes. Unfortunately, it's not possible for me to not identify as the underdog. I hope we see a change. Yeah. I think if I, I think if we were in the 90s right now, I could never get away with saying something like that. Yeah.

But in our current moment, yeah. Nothing is more clear to me than the fact that we're not in the 90s anymore. And in some ways, great, whatever, but like I wish that I got to enjoy it a little bit more.

Yeah. Born in 91, I got a taste of it. I got a glimpse. Yeah. But I never really got to like indulge in having like a consciousness at that time. Yeah.

So you're born in 91? 91, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Sit with that. I'm 34 and I'm not ashamed to say it. I just didn't, I guess I hadn't put like a number to that,

which is this genuinely nothing funny about being 34. It's just 91 is like, I guess the feeling I was feeling when I said that was a little bit of jealousy. You got more consciousness in the 90s than I did. Yeah. And I never thought that that's something that I never pictured. I never predicted that would be something I'd feel thankful for. Yeah.

But I genuinely am. Let's practice some gratitude around that. Gratitude. Bring it up with the therapist. I feel like the time that I was born was as a woman so interesting because I was raised on, of course, Spice Girls feminism. Yeah. When at the same time, one of my earliest memories is Bill Clinton's press conference about Monica Lewinsky. Yeah.

So it's very, it was very confusing, but also then I think created this beautiful, this beautiful mind that I have, that I wouldn't trade for anything. Yeah, of course. Because I love how it works. And I have gratitude for that too. Well, I love your mind as well. I think you're brilliant. I think you're beautiful. Thank you.

I thought you did an amazing job hosting the Globes, by the way. Thank you. How was that experience? I had a great time. Do you find it difficult to be in those kind of Hollywood rooms where everyone's so upset and emaciated or is it more manageable than I would think? Well, you know, the question I wanted to ask everyone was, would you rather be happy or skinny? Yeah. And then go, never mind, I can tell.

No, mind, I know the answer. I know. So, yeah, I think that being in those rooms, it can be overwhelming and stressful for a lot of reasons. I'm, I think, I'm happy that the things that I'm experiencing are happening to me at the age that I'm at. Because even, okay, just to walk you through some of my psychosis. Yeah. So I don't have a flat stomach and I never will have a truly flat stomach. The type of flat stomach that you could bounce a quarter off of, okay?

And that's something that I have to live with. Yeah. And so at the Golden Globes, I was wearing a dress that from the side I had like a little, you could just see it wasn't flat. And so in my 20s, if there was footage of me looking like, that on the internet, I would have gone into a hole. Yeah. I would have come, I would have been so stressed out, depressed, like, oh my God, I just don't like how I look there. And as a 34 year old, now I'm like, that's exposure therapy. Yeah. I'm not a model. I'm a comedian. I don't need to have a flat stomach for work. Yeah. And so it's okay that from the side, there's a little, there's a little

tummy bump. I'm glad you acknowledge that entire line of thinking of psychosis. Yeah. Because it is one of the more psychotic things I've ever heard you say. For you to say I'm not a model as like objectively a model. But I'm not. Mary Beth. But I'm not bringing us up so you would say this. No, no, no, no. I know that.

I love you to death. We have to step back into reality for a moment. The idea that you would even say from the side, I have a little bit of a stomach is like it is time to root back. I want you to take your socks off and step in grass today. I want you to come back to us. I want you to rejoin us on earth because that's insane. It's really scary.

It's scary. It's scary. It's not saying it's your fault. But it's not. scary stuff. But, well, because you said amaciated, so I just wanted to speak to that a little bit. Yeah.

For the, describing the other people in the room. Well, so many people in those rooms are, like, they're getting, they're getting thin to a point that I'm like, uh-oh,

and they're also, everyone in those spaces is vibrating like a tuning fork with the pressure of trying to seem cool when they're deeply uncool. Yeah. They, like, want to win a trophy so bad that they are, like, would genuinely,

genuinely, whether they admitted it or not, they would poison every other nominee to, death to get that trophy. Yeah. And that is an energy that being around it is like very, very psychotic. Yeah. And you really did such a good job at making it lighthearted and funny.

I think I really wanted to just match people's energy. And that was the goal. And I did 50 interviews and some of them won't come out for various reasons, whatever they may be. People's publicists said that they couldn't. People's publicists said that they couldn't. But I think it's, it was, it was really fun for me. I genuinely had a great time.

And what I wanted to do was make people feel comfortable to the point. I wanted to make people feel comfortable by asking them questions that they didn't necessarily need an answer to or giving them multiple choice. Just because now that I've been on the other end of some of those interviews, I'm like, if you ask me how I feel in a certain moment, that's such a complicated question. And it's hard to answer without sounding like a fucking idiot, to be frank. So we wanted to create a back and forth that felt like there was no pressure on the person to be funny. We're going to have it be sort of lighthearted and silly.

and if there was ever a lull, I just have another question for them. Yeah. And I had a lot of fun and the response was really lovely and wonderful. And so, but it was one of those things too where I was like, when are they going to turn on me? Yeah. Because they're going to turn on me and I just don't know when. Well, this is the big question we all have to contend with by the way. Yeah.

Yeah. And that was scary. But I had, yeah, it was great. I really, I couldn't feel the bottom of my feet for a few days because I was standing in heels for that long. But yeah, I had fun. You did a really phenomenal job and you bring up something so important, which is that publicists as it stands are a protected group in this country

and we need to open up at least the conversation and idea of discriminating against them. Remove protected status for publicists. Publicists are some of the most insidious and dark figures and I want my publicist to tune out right now. Just log off for a moment. We'll let you know when it's safe to tune back in.

I love you guys. You do great work. But publicists as a class of people are some of the most horrendous like upsetting people I've ever had to interact with. I want to say too, there were some that we didn't put out. There were only two that got held for publicist reasons. Yeah. And then the rest were either creative decisions or just like, you know, at a certain point,

if you just keep posting the, like people, we'll just be like, okay, we get it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We've seen it now. We got the interview. There are some we're going to release as, as time goes on in a timely manner. Yeah.

That makes sense. But yeah, there was a publicist lounge in the hotel. I, I'm shaking. It had a sign that says publicist lounge. and when I walked by it, I had a chill. Sponsored by the biggest purses you've ever seen, by the way. Oh, the biggest purses and Purdue Pharmaceuticals. By the way.

Yeah. Really, really. Yeah. Also, I want to tell public figures, please stop hiding behind your publicist. Stop it. It's not working. Your agents and managers and publicists being mean to everyone on your behalf and then you showing up and being like, hey, how is everyone?

It's not working. We know that you're involved. We know that you're not unaware of, we know that you were sending a text being like, tell them I'm leaving in 45 fucking minutes. I don't want to be here. The, like, my team will be the bad guy so I can show up and be the nice guy thing. If anyone listening to this as a public figure, I just want you to know it's not working. Yeah.

And I am assigning the way your team treats people to your ethics. Yeah. From here on out. That's where I'm going with it. Because it's not working and I hate it. Publicist has to come to records of this show and I say, you can stand on the street and wait. Yeah. You cannot interrupt me ever while I'm talking.

Get one of those things. Sit in a police van. Yes. Get one of the things that you can hear what we're saying. and then you can talk about it after. And there won't be a communication line coming back to us. No, certainly not. If a publicist ever interrupts me during a thought,

I am really scared. I think I would black out and do something really bad. Something really, really bad. Really, really, really bad. We haven't interacted with that many publicists because we don't have guests on our podcast, but I can imagine, and I will say there was minimal publicist intervention

at the Golden Globes. I do think people felt safe that if they needed to, they could step in but like didn't you know interfere with the back and forth yeah but there is just yeah there is something to be said for that and I do love my publicist of course because they have hearts of gold just like my publicist is some of the kindest people I've ever met in my life but yeah I agree with you I don't think it's working I just the thing you said like people felt comfortable they felt safe knowing they could jump in I want to create an environment of fear where they know they can't you cannot jump in your client is an adult and they can speak to me another adult and

choices about the way they, you cannot step into me having a conversation ever. Do not ever interrupt me. I just really don't have any tolerance for it. We're two adults having a conversation in public and our job is being in public. Right. I think they can handle the repercussions of slipping up on a word. Right. It's crazy. And by the way, we want everyone to look good in that situation. I want to make anyone look bad. So we were being extremely thoughtful as well in the edit of like, oh, let's cut this part because it like, it dragged a little bit or like that one didn't land or whatever it is. Like, we don't want to make these celebrities look like fools. And by the way, we could. Depends on which one. Well, yeah. For me, it depends on which one. I don't know.

It depends. It depends. Yeah, the whole, just being consumed by the public. Do you ever get stressed by it or do you feel like you're at peace with it? Uh, in which part? What do you mean? Just constantly being, I guess the idea of like, you're, even when we're having this conversation, people are consuming us on the internet. Yeah. Does that ever stress you out? I have tried. I have my very, of course, I've tried my very best to tune out of as much as possible. It will rot your brain. But I think more broadly than, I also really hope that when people listen to this show and we sometimes talk about what it's like to be perceived online, I hope everyone knows that we're, it's not separate from what we're all experiencing. Like, this is actually a universal conversation.

We all are contending with the stresses and repercussions of living in a time where we are living in the Pinnopticon. Every one of us, even who are not famous or have, podcast or standups or whatever, every one of us is living in a time in society where we're all being watched all the time. Yeah. And we all have to contend with that. So if it ever feels, uh, yeah, I just want everyone to like know that these conversations are actually about all of us. And I'm just talking from my unique lens on it. Yeah. But we all live in this really fucked up time where everyone's watching us all the time. There's always a phone and a camera trained on all of us. I mean, there's three cameras on us right now. Right. And you came on purpose

to do this. Right. I know. But when you were walking down the street, there were probably hundreds of cameras on you. Like, yeah, it's a really crazy time to live in. And I think as little as you can think about that is helpful because it's really not natural what's happening to us. We weren't supposed to be known by this many people. Yeah. And I, just to also say, I am really grateful, gratitude. Yeah. I'm grateful for the audience that I have. And I, I think I like, I like to be thoughtful about what I say because I don't want to let them down. You know, like they've trusted me. and they're supporting me. And so I just want to like do right by them all the time.

And so I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining at all because we got into this knowing full well what it entails. And obviously we're learning new things about what it's like to do this for a job every day. But I do have a lot of gratitude. And I just want to like do, I want to use the platform for good and for entertainment. But I just don't want it to ever feel like I'm complaining. Because like every opportunity that I have I'm thankful for.

Even being on this podcast. It's an honor to be asked back. I'm not even, this is, I'm being, I'm being so genuine right now. And being earnest, this is another thing people have

struggle with with me is they can't tell when I'm being earnest. That's because your cadence remains the same. I know and I'm really sorry about that. No, don't be sorry. I'm just telling you why.

Yeah. I'm just expensive. Not me. I love you and I feel very, oh, I'm comfortable and open with you. But people think I'm constantly being facetious when I'm not.

Yeah. I, I'm grateful for so many things. You know what I actually was thinking of recently? I really do practice gratitude a lot, like as an actual practice, like sitting down and legitimately thinking about things I'm grateful for, that I can walk, that I can see, that I can speak. Yeah, that I have like a financial situation that is so much better than like when I was growing up.

I think about all these things. But recently I read something that has been sticking with me so much on substack. I'm loving substack. Can I just say, are you on substack? No. Get on substack girl. Substack is so special to me. It's what finally encouraged me to get rid of TikTok.

No offense to the TikTok lovers. Thank you guys for watching the videos and sharing them. Yeah. But I was not having fun on TikTok. I didn't enjoy it. Substack is awesome. Substack is so fun. People are writing really great stuff on there.

The notes function on substack is feeling so... It's the first thing that has come close to making me feel like Twitter used to feel before it got awful. Yeah. Twitter used to be amazing. And I feel so bad for people that don't know that. I know. Early Twitter was so incredible. But yeah, people are writing and it's a lot of fun.

And I'm reading it. Lots of good stuff on there. But substack, I read something about, someone was writing about they have a family member who is schizophrenic. And they were writing about how they had never, their family member, I guess, developed schizophrenia or their symptoms changed or something, but their mind wasn't always so impacted by schizophrenia.

Yeah. And they were talking about the amount of gratitude they've started practicing around like having a sound mind, a mind that can like reason and make sense of things and isn't lying to them or playing trick. on them. And I like really had never considered that in my gratitude practice, but it is actually when I get down to it, the thing I am the most grateful for is that I have a mind that I can trust. And that doesn't mean like, I don't even mean that I'm smart. I mean, I have a mind that isn't

like, it isn't playing voices that aren't there. It isn't telling me lies. It isn't like trying to destroy me all the time. It was in my 20s. My early 20s, it was trying to destroy me with depression. But my mind is sound. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that is like, so now I've been trying to find new things to be grateful for that I've never considered. And it's hard because most of them are just like the things you'd think of, like my friends in my house. Yeah. You're sort of selling me on substack because I love the idea of finding things like that

that then are resonating with me and I don't really feel like I have a place for that right now. Like when I see things on TikTok that I like, it's usually like fan edits of like I posted one that was like that feeling when a guy says you scare him, you know, and it's basketball players making their shots. Yeah. I would love to have my brain sort of stimulated by some more substantial thoughts, like what you're describing. And I am thankful for my sound mind. I think one thing I haven't spoken about that much, which I'm sure I will speak on it more as I've processed it.

My dad had dementia toward the end of his life. And just watching him be able to trust his mind less and less. I've definitely been feeling more grateful for my health. yeah, it's just about gratitude. And hey, you're grateful for substack. I am grateful for substack. You're grateful for that beautiful mind of yours. I really do love substack.

I also had a huge, I had started, when I started substack, it was because I was ending my relationship with Patreon. And me and Patreon, I thought you were going to say something else. I was ending my relationship with a real person. With your boyfriend. Instead of a platform.

No, I was ending, we were moving over to Substack from Patreon. Really nothing against Patreon. They were lovely and it was a great platform, which just substack offered more of what we needed. But we had made, like, we had told the fans what our substack was going to be like. And then I very quickly got overwhelmed by the amount of things that needed to happen. And I had to, like, do something very difficult and be like, hey, that's actually not going to go like that.

I have to pull back in some of these things I can't do. Yeah. And I was really scared because I take, like, I take very seriously people's money and attention. People's money and attention is very, very, very important to me. I don't fuck around about my shows being good. I don't fuck around about people getting their money's worth. I try to pay people very well. I'm very serious about people's money and attention.

And I don't ever want someone to feel like I'm cashing in on them or like taking advantage. And everyone was like so sweet and lovely and understanding. It was during last year where I had like the most psychotic work year of my life. Thank God. I'm so grateful. I loved everything I did. Except for one thing. Tell me after.

We can talk about off camera. But yeah, it was so nice to like have a, I just felt so endeared to my little community on Substack that was so kind to me. Well, that's a reflection of the base that you've built, which I'm grateful for with our podcast listeners as well because they obviously know who you are as a person. And it's a reflection of, yeah, like you're, you are, you're the magnet for those people. And I think that's when I'm really proud to have the fans that I have. And it feels weird to say fans, but like, you know, the audience that I have. It's when I do shows and I invite other comedians on and they're like, wow, your crowds are so great. Like, they're so attentive.

They're locked in. They're laughing. It's like so they're the most fun shows. And it's because that's like what you're putting out. So I think that it's, did anyone send you mean messages? No, some people canceled their subscription, which we said like, please get a refund if you need to do that. We're still offering a lot. We offer ad-free episodes and stuff on there.

It's not like we took everything away. But there were people that did cancel their thing, but they were very nice. And that's appropriate. Money's tight. Do what you need to do. But they're like, hey, I love you.

I just can't justify paying for this. If I'm not getting the thing I love, they loved like the bonus interviews or whatever. And I was like, good for you. Like, there's no part of me that's like, fuck you. They were so nice about it. But the thing about audience is being nice,

I, chance and I, every venue we went to on tour last year, the venue staff would like tell us, like your fans are the nicest people we have ever interacted with. And it like made us cry. Like it was so emotional and sweet because we feel that. Like we do feel that like we like nice people like our stuff and our, our fans treat venue staff well.

They tip. They like are polite and courteous and they follow the rules and are like, they're conscientious. They're nice people. Yeah. And it made me, it's probably the proudest. If I'm like proud of anything that I did last year, probably the proudest moments were like venue staff telling us that our fans were the nice. nicest people that come in the building. It means a lot. Yeah. And the fact that, yeah,

it's sort of a cycle because the fact that we would care about something like that, I think is why. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just people that are thoughtful and caring. And so I, I think if gratitude is the theme, then I'm feeling it. You're feeling gratitude? That's what I have to say. Are you happy? Be honest. I am not. Really? Not all the time. I have moments. Yeah. I guess I mean when I say that, I don't think there's such a thing as a happy person, Like capital age, it's a thing you are. But I mean, do you feel yourself experiencing a lot of happiness lately or are we working on it? We're working on it.

Yeah. I think one thing that was hard about the globes for me was like I went home and I was by myself. Like I really want to be in a relationship. I want to be in love. I want to build a life with someone. So to leave something that was so much stimulation and feel like, oh my God, that was so fun. And then you go home and like no one's caring for me right now. And maybe that's important for my growth.

and then when I meet the person, I'll be better because I'll know myself better about whatever, whatever, you know, all that crap. Yeah. Stupid shit. Stupid bullshit. That's dumb that we tell ourselves to make it hurt less. But I think that, yeah, that's sort of the big hole in my life right now. And I'm trying to be comfortable with that.

But it is hard. It's like I want someone to hold me and tell me I did a good job and rub my back. And, you know, I have a list of what I'm looking for in my next partner. I'll share it with you after this if you're interested. Please do. But it's, I just want to be more, I guess, like, yeah, thoughtful about who I engage with in the future. And that's why I'm taking this break right now. I just need to really focus on work, which focusing on work does make me happy.

And when things are happening with work, I feel those moments of joy. I would love to be fulfilled in that area. But it's just not the time for that right now, for whatever reason. Yeah, I think the big challenge in life for everybody is like a piece will probably always be missing. Like, I think we all have to come to terms with like the fact that a piece will always be missing. The equation will never be completely perfect. Yeah. This thing will fall into place. That thing will shift out of place. There will always be something that could be better. I'll tell, yeah, there will always be something that could be better. And that is so hard because

I think the, the hardest part about trying to be a person who's happy more often than they're not is like, we have to, yeah, we have to figure out. Because the same. I want, you know, I want to be in like a loving, happy relationship, et cetera. Yeah. But yeah, you have to just, we have to be like, oh, okay, it'll happen when it happens. It'll happen when it happens. And I guess I don't know, the people, it's so hard. You're like, oh, people listen to this and do that or think this or whatever.

But like, I'm just being honest. I guess I'm, I've always just led with honesty and that's just how I'm feeling right now. It's like, I want a partner. And I'm looking at my life and where I am at 34 is not where I thought I'd be in my like personal life. but I and people are always like, but you have all these great friends and blah blah. I'm like,

well, I'm not going to bring my 12 best friends as my date to a wedding, am I? Yeah. You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. So don't come to me with that bullshit. Yes, of course. And I put so much into my friendships and my friends really showed up for me

in a beautiful way last year like you included. I had a very difficult year. And I'm so grateful for that. But like, it's not the same as someone who's going to like wake up next to me and kiss me with morning breath and go get a coffee for me so I can sleep longer.

You know what I mean? Like my friends aren't doing that and I would never expect them to. I will say I took a pretty big swing when you called me about your dad passing. I know. I took a big swing. You called me crying and I said first of all, relax. You should calm down. Stop being dramatic.

Yeah. And the millisecond it took to hear your laughter was one of the scariest moments of my life. I hope that you feel the comfortability to do that for the rest of our friendship until we're 90. I do. But then at 90 I need to tighten up. At 90, I think you should maybe pull it back a little bit and just be a little bit more respectful and serious. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it's tough because I guess as they say, I think this was from sex in the city, but maybe someone came up with it before and Carrie Bradshaw stole it.

But you're always looking in New York. As a woman in New York, you're always looking for a job, a boyfriend or an apartment. Yeah. So, yeah, where I'm at right now is that I am passively looking for an apartment, but and it could be a girlfriend too. Hello. Hello, let's say that. Where's my G-flip? where I want you to find your G-flip so bad.

I want my G-flip. We did you're so true. It girls should not be having weddings, but you know we have to play true or false. Great. You know we do. It's the last thing. I'm going to read you 15 statements,

Mary Beth Barone, and you're going to tell me as quickly as you can after each one. If you think what I just said is true or false, if you get ten or more correct, I'm going to give you $50. Cool, yeah. Bath and Body Works was founded in 2000.

False. False. 1990. There's an active volcano in Colorado. True. True. Squids have beaks. False.

True. Boston College's motto is, look to the heavens. That is false. False. It is ever to excel. That's what I was going to say if you didn't say it.

Mercury is the only planet in the solar system with no moons. False. False. It's Mercury and Venus. Lizzie McGuire ran for two seasons. True. True.

No U.S. president has ever been without a first lady. False. False. James Buchanan. Bulls are colorblind. True. True.

West Till High School's newspaper is called the Hiller. That is false. It's called the Westward. Dan Marino played his whole career. with the Miami Dolphins. True. True.

Samsung means three stars in Korean. I can't speak on that. I won't answer. You have to answer. False. It's true. Aunt Queens can live up to 30 years. Aunt Queens can live up to 34 years because I am one.

What are you going with? You better pick a true of all. It is true. Protestants are the largest Christian denomination. Ooh, true. False. It's Catholics. The Connecticut.

But I left. What? Oh, yeah. That's true. I want to talk to you about that, by the way. Okay. The Connecticut State anthem is Yankee doodle. False.

True. Kathy Bates is an Egot winner. False. False. How'd you do? 11. Wow. Let's go.

Rock and roll. I want my 50. That's huge. You'll be getting it. Mary Beth, tell the people where they can find you, what they should do to support. You can find me at Mary Beth Barone on all social platforms, and I'm touring. There's a few tickets left in Dallas and a few in Providence. and a few in Providence, but they might be gone by the time this comes out.

So you better act fast. You better hope. You better invent a time machine and act fast. Hello. You can also find me as the co-host of Ride the Podcast, which by the time this comes out, we will be on a hiatus between seasons three and four, but you can always go back and listen from the first episode. And you should.

And you should. And you can watch overcompensating on Prime Video. You can. You can. And you can text Benny and tell him to put me in season two because he asked me at Union Hall if I would come back for season two. Hypothetically, I said, Benny, of course I would. I told him that too.

Make CJ some psychotic little arc for one episode. Please. What are we talking about? Also, I will have a Netflix special at some point this year, so look out for that. Yeah, you will. Love you. Thanks for doing it. Thank you.