So True with Caleb Hearon - Molly Kearney is Dropping Knowledge

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

Welcome back! This week’s guest is the hilarious Molly Kearney! Molly and Caleb talk SNL, starting comedy on an island in the middle of a lake, fashion, mom’s, and so much more! We are going on TOUR! Come see So True LIVE in a city near you! Dates/Tickets can be found here: https://www.livenation.com/artist/K8vZ917qN1f/so-true-with-caleb-hearon-events Join our Patreon for an exclusive extended interview with Molly and other bonus content! https://patreon.com/SoTruePodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink  Follow Molly! @meatbrickmolly Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Head to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE.There’s no replacement for human connection. Better with people. Better with Alma. Visit helloalma.com/SOTRUE to get started and schedule a free consultation today.Book now at Booking.com !Go to GUM.FM/SOTRUE to fill out our audience survey!About Headgum: Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com. » SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1  » FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum  » FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/ » FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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My dad was a councilman. I know he was. He's still alive, he just isn't one anymore. Yeah, and what are his two best friends' names? This is when he was a construction worker, rock and roll in Big City. I've known him my whole life, rock and roll in Big City. Do you, is it okay on the episode if we tell people my really funny joke when you were over at my place?

Absolutely. Because I was thinking we could talk about that. Okay. I haven't really been doing much. Will you tell people my really funny joke? I was really proud of it. Wait, right now? Yeah.

Sure. Oh, we're rolling. Oh. Yeah. Oh, I meant to change my shirt Go do it. No, I'll just you want to switch. I'll just wear the same shirt. I wish I wish that's a cute shirt Thank you so much. No, you can tell people my favorite guys. I just we record the episode on we record this multiple episodes on a day I'm wearing the same shirt. I'm sorry. He's working man. Yeah, my goodness. Good God. We'll put him out with space him out

Anyway, yeah, yeah, we'll face them out Sorry, you really wanted to tell people my funny joke didn't you? Oh, I did I did I I Called Caleb to hang out and I was like, hey, I'm getting top surgery on Monday and he goes, oh my god I'm getting top surgery They were really took the heat right off. I go, Oh, right. Well, you were on my couch. They were on my couch really being like, yeah, man, I'm just like, I've got a lot of my mind. Like I'm, you know, I have top surgery on Monday and they're like kind of confiding in me. I was confined. And then I go, Oh my God, this is humiliating. I'm getting top surgery on Monday. And then we laugh. Who's your doctor? We laugh for a while.

And then I go, are you going bigger or smaller? Huh? Hahahaha! It was that. It was the nightcap. Really good one. You put a little hat on that. Really good one. What do you think? You regret it?

Hahahaha! I regret her and her and him. Mr. and Ms. No, I'm feeling great. Six weeks out yesterday. You look great. Honey, titless and full of joy. Flat as a board. Thank you. I'm a charcuterie board, baby.

Flat as a board. I want to eat sushi off of you. Oh, my flat chest. My flat chest. I will say when I when I So when I've been healing it, you know, I got my nipples some people don't but I I was like wow They are really spread apart, but that's because they're the mat of a masculine chest Yeah, they'd line them up with your clavicle, you know, I'm learning this. I should have done more research Yeah before you but I got to have a nightmare that my learning this I should have done more research yeah before you but I got to have a nightmare that my nine nipples were like all over my body and I would

like find one on my knee yeah my belly well they're doing that to kids now in school there you send your kid to school their nipples are where they're supposed to be they come home with it on their knees they go whoa whoa it's sick and they in the radical left is enabling it to the pigments the pigments all the pigments off a really informed transphobe well when you get your nipples done you need to make sure the pigments right and make sure you want them placed in the right place or you want a more centered yeah feminine golly golly these Frankenstein doctors are coming for our kids putting their nipples on their knee I mean they were one they were using marker and stuff like lining them

up I was like wow they're gonna have to be good at math too you were awake well honey I was I go don't put me down I want to be there for ya I didn't know that you you technically pass away during anesthesia pardon they put you my mom's like oh yeah I didn't tell you I want to tell you that till after I'm like cuz my mom's a retired nurse she was there for me the whole time your mom's a fucking icon she is a she's Margaret you're an icon she and I text by the way yeah yeah of course did she tell you that she and I started texting during your aftercare because we were you know in communication about you know how annoying you were being yeah and I'm

kidding we were just talking about what was needed, and we've continued to text. Well, Caleb did come over and set up my Xbox when I was belly up. I did. I did not know. I was like, I was trying to connect it to the refrigerator. I was like, this is not, there's no power going into this thing.

You messed it up pretty bad, yeah. I did, I did. I had to get to work over there. I did. But, no, yeah, but my mom told me that you, when they put you in, and this is probably like smart people listening Probably know this but they put you Anesthesiologist is that what the way then it's time. I was how it is. You got it. Yeah, this is the artist

Yeah, they put you they put you out cold their breathe. They get paid so much because they're making they're making you breathe They're making you breathe. You're a corpse. That's crazy. And when I went down under, it was terrifying. It was like, they put me in the little booties and they walked me down this hall, like Grey's and Ami style, and then the nurse just knocked on the door. I'm like, what is this, like a hotel room? I'm like, how many rooms are there? She's like, there's 10 surgical rooms. And I go, you're just picking the one?

You're just picking a random door. So we go in there and then there's this chair. There's this, you know, flat thing with like arms that go out and I'm like it's an operating table yeah but it looks like shaped like my body for me it looked it was like built for me yeah and I lay down and I'm just like sweet Lord and I was less nervous I just took a deep breath and the nurse started patting my leg. Why? Sorry. It was comforting. Oh, it was nice.

I thought you meant like in a medical way. I probably had the fear of God in me. I was like, I probably didn't breathe for like 30 seconds. She's like, next thing you know, I'm waking up and I'm telling all the nurses that they're pretty. Yeah, that's inappropriate. Well that's why I didn't get my wisdom teeth out for over a decade. Yeah, I gotta do that soon. Do you really?

I was some teeth. Yeah. Oh, why didn't you get them out? We're in there and they're rotten They need to go. Are you serious? They're not rotten, but they're there's in there and they need to go They're not green gas coming out No, they they need to go. I just give my wisdom teeth out. I hate I hate dentists. I hate surgery I had surgery when I was 16 years old Or maybe 15 I had a knee surgery from football big boy Not a sport that we should probably letting our children play huh?

But yeah, I had to have a knee surgery and had to go under and it was fucking scary And they make you they do all that stuff right beforehand I'm 15 they do all that stuff beforehand when they're like with, where they're like, oh, that, and then they're like, they're like, um, and then just sign here. There's 10% chance that you'll die in surgery. Not 10%, you know, the 1% chance that the tube will go down. We won't be able to get it back out and you'll choke to death. You know? And I'm like, I'm like, mom, and your mom's a nurse too. She's like, it's not going to happen. You're fine. You're fine. Yeah. That's scary stuff, brother. 1% wasn't 1% Hey, and it happened. It happens to people. That's scary stuff brother. One percent wasn't one percent. Hey, and the happen it happens to people

That's crazier things have happened. Yeah, how did we meet? Do you remember? What's our origin story? I think we were trying to meet in Chicago when we were like in 2020 2026 2026 I think it was 2034 When we linked up In in New Chicago. Knock it off, knock it off. It was 2016 or 2017 and we met at like I.O. and I was like, who is this funny man?

Who is this funny, they? And I was doing like stand up and you were doing zip, zap, zap. Improv, they call it. Improv, yeah, yeah. And then you asked me, we were like, we should get some lunch. Yeah, we went to Tanuki. Remember that?

Off the Wellington Brown Line stop. Yes, right by my house. We had a writing meeting. We had a writing meeting. At a Japanese restaurant. Yes, yeah. Because where else would we go? And guess what?

I have some of the things we wrote. You don't. You don't. Yes, I do. You don I do we thought I deleted that we were we were trying we were trying to come up with sketches for us to do we were like big boy and another big boy walking down the street I'm not even kidding the first one is just were cops question mark that's where we were no it's probably mine um you'll be able to tell which one's mine and which one's Caleb's.

This is even better. We're news anchors reading headlines and we're just exhausted by all of it. No real point of view. We're just tired. To write a sketch where the premise is that you have no point of view? Not good. Bouncer's at a club and I'm trying to wingman for you with cute girls. That was where I was going gonna try and get you cute girls

I thought I was gonna I thought that's the one I wrote No, probably weren't out then no We just exactly like into a twin segment that that might have been mine. That was you We are hockey players question mark that definitely the question marks are definitely me. I'm like expand on that Caleb do a little work Will you this one says we do a commercial for our apple orchard? But we keep saying things like we promised the big accident hasn't had any impact on the apples That one has the most that one has the most point. Oh, I found one That's definitely you we host the Cleveland Browns fan show and it's just a bunch of jokes and stories about how we love the Browns

This one's highlighted. It says brother and sister who run their family's taxidermy business. Oh yeah. I was very obsessed with taxidermy. That actually has stuffed legs. This one says UPS drivers who have a side business where they take lost packages and sell them on the dark web Aka eBay or whatever. That's you. These are actually getting good. Yeah, that was you. They're getting good because they're coming up on you. I'm like these are sounding familiar. Ummm, a father and son trying to get on Shark Tank This one says

Siblings or celebs and then there's a sub note that says okay. I can't get over us as siblings What about siblings at a City Council hearing? Hahahaha That's sub note that says okay. I can't get over us as siblings. What about siblings out of City Council here? City Council is definitely me. I'm always trying to work in some stupid little political angle my dad was a councilman I know he was he's still alive. He just isn't one anymore. Yeah, and what are his two best friends names? This is when he was a construction worker rock and roll in big city I've known him my whole life rock and roll in big city rock and roll obviously looks like a rock star and big city You know has a mullet and drives one of those weird Jeep pickup trucks Your dad's best friend's names are rock and roll in big city and guess what their real names are

Birth certificate name. I'm guessing like Maurice and Jonathan. No, they're both Sean. No. They're both Sean. No. S-E-A-N? S-E-A-N. Thank you.

Just like my little brother. That's so funny, I love your brother. They're great brothers. I love the Carney family. They're good boys. I'm big on the Carney family. Ah. Ah.

So what's going on with you? What do you got on your mind lately? They're good boys. I'm big on the Carney family. Ah. Ah. Ah. So what's going on with you? What do you got on your mind lately? What do I got? Tell me about Molly. Oh, man. I've been trying to read more. Well, what are you reading?

God, God. I'm the slowest reader. I've learned how slow I am. Yeah, OK. But that's not. It's not a race, you know? Yeah. Yeah, buddy, no, it's not. Yeah.

But then I think about how, it's like this, it's like then I think about how slow I'm reading, so then I try to read faster and I'm like, wait, I gotta reread that page again. Yeah. So it's a cycle of hell. But anyway, I've been reading a lot of books. What are you reading? My favorite books this year. Are demon... Uh-oh. What are you reading? My favorite books this year are Demon You mean swagging on my bragging books

Demon Copperhead is my favorite book of last year and A Tree Girls in Brooklyn great book that's been on my mind for years I finally read it. I just finished The Women The Women. It's just called The Women Yeah, of course I gravitated towards that and it actually is about Vietnam nurses. So it's really took

a turn. Every, every word you just said, I'm reading a book called the women. It's about Vietnam nurses. That's not what they came back from war and it's a fiction, but it's like based off off true stories and They came back and they weren't accepted and then nobody you know people like oh, there's only men in NAMM But who patched up the men they weren't accepted Yeah, people are like there's no women in war people just didn't so there's all these Vietnam nurses that came back like And they were neglected and they were they were not respected or taken care of and They didn't get the proper therapy wild look at me dropping knowledge. Yeah, you gotta keep reading books I know honey, and do I know it this is killer?

Can I take a long story and we get a couple sentences? Yeah cut that thing down. Yeah, what about you? What have you been reading? We bought books together. We did buy books together. Did you read it? I? Forgot what I bought with the day by a philosophy of walking when I was actually Caleb I got it for you as a gift what the book was it which book was it? I'm like, this is a gift. We were celebrating you in some way. I Think you made this up. I love you to death, but I think you just lied on the podcast.

Brother. I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't doubt that you bought the book. No, no, it was not me. It's not like George Costanza. Like I bought you the big salad. It's like, You don't remember what book it was? I'm getting light at it. And you literally went up to the lady at the bookstore and you're like, Hi, I'm Caleb. And then you looked at me like I'm an idiot for not introducing myself and I'm like, Hi, I'm Molly. It's a nice thing to do.

It's like you're supposed to be quiet in a bookstore. You're like, Hey, put her there. How are you? you Caleb we like to read too what's your favorite book and the girl was like hi I'm Elizabeth and I was like nice to meet you Elizabeth yeah she was lovely I'm reading I'm reading a philosophy of walking I'm also reading the Donna. Tell me about that one. Philosophy of walking is like a it's a this guy put together a book talking about I'm like this creative and spiritual practice of going on long walks and walking is like a, it's a, this guy put together a book talking about,

um, like this creative and spiritual practice of going on long walks. And there's a bunch of philosophers who would go on long walks and that's how they would write. They wouldn't sit at a desk and like put pen to paper. They would walk and get their ideas. And then later on they would transcribe them when they felt like they had it formulated. And I liked that. And I liked that. I liked that. And so I've been reading a lot about that. And then I've been reading the dawn of everything

this big dense fucking heavy book about Kind of asking like It's asking why? Why did we as a people get so hung up on the idea of inequality and like we've been asking this question Philosophically for a long time of like are we inherently egalitarian or inherently? philosophically for a long time of like, are we inherently egalitarian or inherently hierarchical as people? Are we like inherently selfish and mean or good and generous? And good and Jenny, good and Jenny. But it's actually, the book is actually not even asking that question. It's actually asking how we came to ask that question. And then kind of starting to look at, I'm only like a hundred something pages in, but starting to look at like,

actually these ideas we've had for a long time about like societies were inherently good or inherently bad and then agriculture happened and they became this. That's all wrong. Societies were inherently different all along. There were many people in different parts of the world doing different kinds of societies at all times. And it's like going through a lot of like dense like resources about that. It's extremely academic and hard to read and I'm, it's taking me a while. I mean, it was hard to listen to that. I know. It's not fun I'm saying. You're so right. No but I mean when you read that book do you kind of have to go to another book that's like maybe a little lighter or you just put on xbox or something? I have to put on xbox and I also I

damn near need to like take notes. I tried reading it on a plane I thought I was gonna f*** myself. Yeah yeah yeah. It's an important book and I want to learn the information. Right. But god it feels like it feels like it feels like college It feels like grad school and I didn't even go to grad school Yeah, you're putting yourself through it, but I want to know I know and I want you to know so that you can tell me In a simpler manner and then when I do you'll say it was boring to listen to no I would never say that did 20 seconds ago. I didn't did yes, and Brother there's a recording of you doing that. I didn't. Did. Yes, and. Sorry, brother.

There's a recording of you doing it. I'm sorry. There's a recorded record. That's why I brought you in here. I like that we like to read. You read those types of books. Yeah, I loved your story about the nurses. But I do love walking.

I really resonate with that. Yeah, I love a good walk. Because when you sit down, you don't sit down and write stand up, you just kind of rip. I don't really write stand up. Yeah, I've never really sat down. I improvise the idea on stage, and then I continue to improvise it until it gets good.

Then you memorize it. And then I just kind of memorize it. I have sat down and written out my jokes before to get them in my head, but it's very rare that I'm sitting down and being like, do, do, do, do, do. Right. You're more writing them down to get them in order that you already, and you created them on stage.

Yeah, and I'm never writing them out in full. I'm never going like, set up punchline transition. My mom's name is Kel. Right, I'm more writing like, guy you slept with above grocery store or whatever. Right. And then I know that that's a five minute bit. Yeah.

You know, I'm also bad at time. The worst thing, my worst part of standup is the timing. I run the light every time. I don't know how long I've been up there. I don't know how long my jokes are. I'll tell the same joke in two different rooms on the same night. One time it's seven minutes, one time it's two. I just don't, I can't. Yeah, we're not really script standups. No, that's not what I'm doing. And that's alright. I think you've never bombed a day in your life, so I think you could run the light.

Well. Unless I'm waiting for my time and I'll just side-tackle you right off the stage. Yeah, would you really? Yeah. I've never run the light when I'm bombing. Yeah, no, I think it's like. I would never do that. Well, I definitely have seen some people actually. Well, yeah, because then they're trying to end on a laugh

and it's like, brother, you just got to cut your losses. I just, yeah, I'm just like, get me out of here and I need to go get some ice cream. Yeah. How often do you bomb? In my head? Every day. I don't think I've ever seen it. I bombed so much when I was starting in Chicago. I remember like going up at the Laugh Factory for the first time and I totally, I tried to do all my gay jokes, totally bombed, walked home crying. And I was like, I'm done with this. I'm like, I'm never like slushy snow. I was like, I'm just so bad at stand up.

And then the next day I was like, three shows tonight, let's go. You know yeah, I have a very Memory I always thought that you were a star the moment that I saw you perform I just thought you were genius But there was this one moment that I thought was so you came and did I had this show in Chicago With a bunch of friends called studio 11 dude incredible show I loved that show Shelby Wollstein And I ran it home what it was about first, because it's cool. Studio 11 was new sketch material every week.

Every single week. We didn't bring in new sketch material, a full hour long show, with a great cast of very funny, originally there were 11 of us. And me and Shelby Wollstein kind of ran it and produced it. And then there were so many funny people. Grace Kuhlenschmitt was on it.

At one point, Tom Zimmermaker was on it. So many funny people. Alex Coll point, Tom Zimmermaker was on it. So many funny people, Alex Collier, Loringa Cornwell, Gregory fucking Vinny was on it for a second, I think, Vinny Thomas. Yeah, that's where I met Vinny. And so many people that weren't on the cast were guests, like Sarah Squirman was on it, Meg Stalter was on it, like as guests, and Dairy Queen,

like all of our friends of that moment were doing the show. And there were weeks, basically it was kind of working out to where like every other week or every couple weeks we would have like a really sold out show. It was like a popular enough show, but then there would be like slow weeks and you were booked to do it one week to do stand up as a guest on the show.

Cause what we would do is we'd have like a guest musician, a guest drag queen, a guest stand up. And then in between all that, we'd do our sketches. And then the gay members of the cast would do this segment called queer and events where we would do, um, a news update for the week is like all gay people. And we'd only do like gay jokes about it. And, um, we were like little suit jackets and like ties over our t-shirts and shit.

It was silly, but you were the guest stand up one week and you came out on stage and I guess the microphone wasn't working and Alex Collier was like I'm gonna fix it I'm gonna fix it and there it was a maybe they're like 20 30 people in the room and you go I don't need it you guys I'm from Ohio and you just start murdering without a microphone which now I'm like that's the correct thing to do but at that time I think so many people in our class of comedians didn't have that confidence and skill yet because that's what a true professional like good killer does and you just fucking started like screaming your jokes out to this room killing without a microphone and I was like that person

is incredible. Thank you. I was blown away. I was like that that person is incredible. Thank you brother. I was blown away, I was like, that's amazing. Thanks bud, that's very sweet. Yeah, of course now I don't like you very much, but back then I thought you were the best. Yeah, I mean, I hate my guts.

You want me to meat grinder, I get it. Yeah. Well, I think I learned that from doing standup on Put-in-Bay, the island in Lake Erie, where I was like, they didn't have mics, I just went up and started screaming at drunk people. Yeah. I got their attention. I got their attention. Then I got to Chicago, I was like, now I gotta have mics, I just went up and started screaming at drunk people. I got their attention.

I got their attention. Then I got to Chicago, I was like, now I gotta use a microphone and only do five minutes? This is crazy. Because I would do like an hour just messing around. Out on the farm, they were just letting me freeform it. The cows go moo and I go ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

So you moved to Chicago to do comedy and then you went to Dayton first well you went to Dayton first. Yeah I went to Dayton for college. Theater degree. Started, yeah, started doing stand up on like a bet. My friends were like, you can't do uh, stand up without laughing at your own jokes. And I'm like, bet, let's do it. And they were right, but I did, I did get good at it.

Lost that money, but. Yeah, actually I was terrible at it. Oh my god, it was so bad. But you know, everyone is when they start. Well not you, but. Yeah, actually I was terrible at it. Oh my god, it was so bad, but you know, everyone is when they start. Well, not you, but. I mean, you started doing standup, and I was like, this kid, just shant, doesn't have to do improv.

He can just go improvise by himself. Like, you can just do like the. I'm only good at standup because I did improv. True. That's my truth. It makes your mind quicker. Yeah, I am only good at, I'm only good at comedy because I studied improv period There's no there's no world where I get good at comedy without very

Like to an embarrassing degree earnestly studying improv like I had to believe in it so much to get good at comedy There's no world where that doesn't happen Oh, I believed in it. Yeah. No you had like I had all the second city Do you have all the second city books and no even worse? I thought I was so into improv that I was like second city is corporate like I was like Hey, I was like I was like I was where the magic happens Like I was worse than a second city kid. I was a purist. I mean the old IO is awesome. I remember going to that in Williamsburg now Williamsburg and uh

Wrigley Wrigleyville I'd never been to that one. Oh my god Williamsburg, in Wrigleyville. I'd never been to that one. Oh my God, it was magic, it was so cool. And then talking about corporate, the aisle building that is now. But even still, I felt like long form improv is like the magic, it's where the special stuff happens. I believed in the promise that we make to each other on stage and the contract that we have with the audience.

I believe when you say, you know, who was it? Maybe Susan Messing or Liz. Susan Messing. Wow. She's such a good improv teacher. But you know, people would say that every, every scene we ever do an improv or otherwise, it all takes place on one long line that runs forever in both directions. It was here long before us, it'll be going long afterwards. I believed all that shit, you know? And I still to some extent do, but I, yeah, I mean- You have a Hey Arnold shrine in your closet? Basically. Of Charna? Basically. Love Charna too. By the way, why wouldn't I? She put me on the SNL Showcase

my first year. Holy crap. Yeah, I'm like, hey, Charna was cool to me. I love those dogs. I love those dogs. I'm like, for real, the dogs be dogging. Yeah, people really hated Sharna and I was like frankly that's my girl She was just more of a cartoon character walking around in my head. Yeah, I never met her. Yeah But did you you didn't do the SNL showcase in Chicago? Did you? No, I did it that just the time that we did it We did it. Yeah, I Did the comedy studies program at through second City, which is like a semester of comedy,

which was incredible. Yeah. It was awesome. Really? Yeah, it was like, you go to school like nine to five and it's all comedy, comedy history, you learn about like vaudeville and you write, writing, improv, and then you have acting class. It was amazing.

You would have really loved it. I was amazing. You would have really loved it. I love that. I remember when we screen tested for SNL, we did the showcase. I had come back to LA to do it and we did it and we, you and I, you and I got, we both did our sets, the live show for the producers in LA and then we both killed. I really felt great about that. If I don't get it, I did the best five minutes that I could have ever possibly done. You and I got off stage, went into the green room and we were both very calm. We were like, good job everybody, we'll see you later. We walked to my car, we're walking to my car vibrating. We get in my car, we get in my car and we're like, we

fucking murdered. And they don't want us, they don't get us. We're like, if they don't want us, fuck them. We rolled down the windows, jammed the music. We drove to Black Cat to meet a bunch of our friends. We went to the fucking lesbian bar. Yeah, we're like, yeah, who knows if they'll call, who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Who gives it? And then when we came here to screen test, I had done it before.

So you and I were talking a bunch about what it was going to be like. And then I remember I had told, I was like, Molly, I hope you get it. And then you told me that you went to that church. Oh yeah. You went to that church and like, set a prayer or lit a candle or something.

To Chris Farley. To Chris Farley's church. Yeah, and then it ended up being my curse at SNL. Everyone's like, you're like Chris Farley. And I'm like, well, maybe if I didn't pray to him. That one day. And then I, oh, I was just like. When you told me you lit a candle,

I was like, I'm not getting that job. I Was in the green room during my screen test talking to Devon he was like do you want this I was like not really I'm like I'm going to church. Yeah, I was like that's Molly's gig I'm going to the cathedral and I'm saying prayers to all my dead people. We had a big ass steak dinner Oh my god. I remember eating that steak and I go I Can't afford this day Oh my god, I remember eating that steak and I go, I can't afford this steak. Oh my god, and then, yeah, then we went out after our test and we went to meet Lisa, some of our buddies at that bar.

Lisa, Marie, Sydney, Devin Walker was there, Mary Beth came because she screen tested. Oh yeah. And I, that night, got... Oh, never forget. I will never forget that night. The most drunk I've ever been. Caleb was drinking vodka cranberries like a kid after a soccer game with Capri Sun. You were like, I'm like, hey bud, you might want to slow down. I was throwing them back.

You're like, let's go, let's go. And then we had to fly back to LA the next morning. And you had the hood on and I think you might have vomited in the lounge. I threw up all night long. Yeah. I threw up all night long and then I threw up at the airport. And then, you did throw up at the airport, I do recall.

And I was like, oh, I must take this in now because I think this will be the only time Caleb is more hungover than me in our life. It will be, yeah. It will be, yeah. And it will be a memory that I take to the grave. That was brutal. I got so fucking drunk. I lost my shirt. Yeah, wait, what was that about? I lost my shirt. That's all. Where? I have no clue. I bought a I bought a cute shirt for the screen test because I wanted to look nice on the camera. And I lost it. I lost. I got so drunk. And I was hanging. I was hanging. I was like, I remember I said something to Marie Faust, and I was like, I was so drunk by the time she got there, I was like, I just think the world of you,

and I think we have to be friends. You know, and she was like, okay. Yeah, she was like, we are, you know? Oh, Marie is so funny. Really, really insane. That was a blast, though. Yeah, that was. That was. This podcast is sponsored, that was. That was...

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The heaviest. Wait, I didn't have any furniture. Well, whoever's furniture I moved into that place. Yeah, that was like uphill steps. But I helped you move in, you and Shelby move in. Yeah, but our stuff was easy. No, it was a... Oh no. Oh no. Wait, yeah, Chance was easy. No, it was a... Oh no.

Oh no. Wait, yeah, Chance did too. I'm like, we were going up and down, up and down, up and down, and I'll never forget, Shelby's 400 pound safe. Oh my God, the stove. I'm like, the stove. I'm like, Chance and I looked at each other

and we're like, not, not Chance, no, you weren't even trying this. No, we hired movers that said they wouldn't do it. Oh yeah, that's happened. Shelby has a 400 pound, or more. Is it still with her? I'm sure it is. Shelby has this stove that her mom or somebody gave to her

that she has moved everywhere and she moved it. We lived together two places in LA and both times I was like, Shelby, I will do anything you want to get rid of the stove get rid of the stove I mean no one can move it three professional movers couldn't move it and Like when it went cross-country the u-haul was probably just like yeah, like the wheels are like I'm surprised it didn't break through the u-haul and truly my god. Yeah, the stove is horrible So many people have fallen victim to the stove

Stove it And by the way, you're thinking... It's taken out many, many men. Oh, is it operable? No. It's decorative. Yeah, it's decorative. Is there anything in there? No. I thought it was a safe. No. Decorative 8,000 pound stove. Really crazy move.

Love Shelby to death. Love you, Chica. Get rid of that stove if you still have it. That's crazy Wait, can we talk football for a second? Of course we can talk football for a second. Um How are you feeling about this weekend? Is it probably that or how do oh we're in the future Sorry, sorry, I just spun themselves in such a major way Go Browns were recording before the Bills play the Chiefs. Right. They've beat us once this season.

Are they the one team we've lost to, or we lost two games? Well, we lost to the Broncos in the last week when all of the starters were rested. Right, so we lost two games, but yeah. It counts, because you lost. It counts, it counts. Okay, how'd you get into the Browns loop?

Well, we won three. Three? Three? Huh? And our quarterback is not a good man. So I'm actually more of a Lions fan. Oh, well, you know how to pick them. Well, it's closest to Cleveland. Yeah.

And I like their colors. You know, I texted Stavi after the Ravens biffed it. I texted Stavi and said, we've never met, but I'm looking forward to shaking his hand. I text Stavi and I said, you are loved and important to many. Please don't make any permanent decisions about the game. He takes me back and said, I appreciate it. And it goes without saying I want nothing but pain and suffering for you. I know it is kind of like, I mean, like give it a rest.

Travis Kelsey is a, is is I hope he's my friend But he's from Cleveland. He's your friend and he's from Cleveland shout out Trav so technically Go bronze technically go Chiefs because he plays for the team Yeah, if you think about it it could have been go Eagles, but Jason's retired LeBron James LeBron LeBron That man single-handedly took Cleveland out of the dirt. Yeah, he brought you guys up. That's right.

He put you guys on. That's what Pat's doing for Kansas City right now. I agree. And I'm happy for Kansas City because it is, it does remind me a lot of Cleveland. I came to your house. Thank you. And spent time there. Finally, some credit for boys.

And learned how to play madam. Madam, madam, madam. Learned how to play madam. He'll 40 and slip will fordian slip there hey madam no molly playing madam is what you were doing before the transition we're done playing madam no brother playing madam's in your past. No, but let me make the picture. We're at Caleb's house and he's like, we're just kind of hanging out. We're in vacation mode. He's like, you want to play some Madden? And I was like, I never played. He goes, take a seat. And we're playing. He sets the vibe. He lowers the light. He puts on cool lighting. It's snowing outside or something. I don't know. Something nice. And he puts on a man, he's like, all right.

And then he puts on this cool soothing music, and we're just playing man, and I go, this is the best day of my life. Dude, I always put music on the background. I don't listen to the game, I listen to music. I totally respect that. And then we bought Xboxes together. Yeah, and you haven't played me. But I just got a headset, so I'm ready to duel.

Nice. I want to duel, I'm not going to do a headset. I don't listen to people talk when I well I got a lot to say Because I'll go to a place I did a headset when I was you go to a dark place I'll be mean yeah, I don't like I'll call people the F slur I don't like the way I behave on there. I can't be listening or talking I got any display you do a voicemail Yeah, we'd love to let's hear a voicemail. I'm trying to get better at doing these Oh, I would love to how's my hair look is it still in place? nice

Put those on for me ma. Whoo Hi, Caleb and lovely guess this is Peter and I wanted to know the truth about salt Why is it in everything? Why is everything that tastes good to have salt in it? What was the deal in like the Bible where people would turn other people into pillars of salt? That's crazy. That doesn't make any sense. What the heck? What the heck? Huge fan. Love you. Love your work. And I'm sure I love you as well as every guest that Caleb has. It's wonderful. I hope you have a great day and I'm sure I love you as well as being guest as every guest that Caleb has it's wonderful

I hope you have a great day, and I'm looking forward to hearing back from y'all Really superfluous Really really chatty guest you know that reminded me of I'll get into the question in a second But I had a flight attendant on my flight here the other day gay flight attendant No worries gorgeous who gay guy flight attendant. No worries. Gorgeous. Who, gay guy flight attendant, who was being real nice to me. Okay, and I was like, either. In a gay way?

I was like, either he wants to fuck me in the bathroom or he knows who I am. Yeah, it's a nice question. Or both. And so he's real nice to me the whole flight, and then doesn't say anything, and then, like about, you know, knowing me or wanting to sleep with me. And then towards the end of the flight,

he like comes over to hand me a snack and drops off a postcard. And in the postcard he had written on the back of it, he was like, he was like, Diva, Diva doll queen. I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding. It says Diva, period, Diva doll queen. I am such a huge fan. I've been trying to play it cool.

Hopefully I've been cool. Thank you for being on this flight. And then like, and it was was like I watch your stuff all the time and then was like wrote his name It was really sweet. That is precious. Isn't that sweet? That is precious kind of sounded like this guy I was like, maybe this is my flight attendant. Oh my gosh, but it was how do we know the name is different? Okay Salt well, it's delicious tasty. Yeah, like Well, why is this like breakfast sandwich so good is because it's Yeah, like oh, why is this like breakfast sandwich so good is because it's Douse salt is everything you know when you go to restaurants And you go why is the way they make this better than the way I make it butter salt salted butter

They put salted butter on everything to an extent that you cannot imagine who's out there buying unsalted butter Freaks shame on you freaks and Mormons shame on freaks and Mormons, and they're allowed to have salt I just don't think they enjoy anything. Mormons. Sorry, Mormons. Eh, I'm sorry. We got a lot of Mormon fans. You believe in hell?

I don't know if I believe in hell, but I do think there'll be bad people and they gotta go somewhere. You think bad people get punished in the afterlife? Yeah, I think they come back maybe as... Some days I'm like, oh, they come back as like ants and I'm the one stepping on them. Or... That's nice. Yeah, or they're just like, you know,

as they taught in Catholic school, they're just burning alive down there. Yeah, down there. I've started to experiment lately with the idea that maybe everyone gets what they deserve. Like maybe everyone just gets what they deserve. Maybe nice people get something nice, maybe bad people get something bad,

maybe medium people get something medium. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but like then there's such good people that so many bad things happen to them I'm like no, but that's they're good people so they would get good I'm not saying you don't have to death you mean yeah, I'm saying after yeah No, not in life certainly no There's plenty of good people that get bad things and bad people that get good things I'm saying I've been experimenting with the idea of like we don't know what happens after we die

We all get to decide for ourselves So I've been starting to experiment with the idea of, what if everyone gets what they deserve? That'd be kind of nice. Maybe if you spend your life being nice to people and doing good, and I'm not talking about being a fucking saint, but if you're a saint, maybe you get something saintly.

You know, and if you're a devil, maybe you get something devilish. Maybe hell exists for hellions. Hellions. And then good for good people. Hellions rise! Maybe me and all my friends will be in an alt comedy scene after this is all over You're good at outfits. You know that no, bro. You are I got a couple good ones

You got your hat with a shirt real well. I'm learning you match a hat. Thank you I've been learning that you do that well Tom from SNL helped me a lot learn how my fashion Sorry, how about a shirt with a shirt? Yeah, I love that Tom. I love Tom. Who's Tom Tom is I believe he's a producer as well, but he's been SNL for over 20 years and he just dresses everybody so nicely gay guy Of course. Yeah, I would never expect only the smartest of men straight guys They can't do what we can do as gay guys I'd like to see my dad try to dress up. Yeah. Just kidding. We were the exact same clothes. Yeah. Nice. Get him. Yeah. Get your

father. Yeah. Got his ass. Got his ass. Gather your dad. Literally we wear the same size pants. Gather your dad who you adore. Get him. God, I wish your mom was here. Me too. And right here in this chair. Oh, I know. She really does. Should we call her? Yeah, you should. I'll call her. See what she says. You really should. She texted me. I texted her this morning. You guys talk a lot. You guys are kind of close. We are close. Okay, this is who we're calling. I'm dead. She's beautiful. She's so beautiful. I love her. Let's see if she answers. If she doesn't answer me, it's gonna be kind of drama, right? I think she knows I'm here. I told her yesterday what's her nickname Marge Marge retired

Marge is her handle hey Marge what are you up to Queen what why your hair looks great where to oh gosh well I'm recording my podcast with Molly you're on the Kevin and I are going on a cruise. Where to? Oh, gosh, the Caribbean. Oh, gosh. Well, I'm recording my podcast with Molly. You're on the podcast. I am? Yeah. You're a star, Mom. We just wanted to say hi.

We were just saying we wish you were here. We were thinking about you. Oh, you're so sweet. Thank you. I wish we could. I'm talking to my here guy about the depressing depression that we're having over the next four years and what we should do about it. We're trying to solve the world's problems here in the hair cutting chair. Is your is your hair guy gay? Yes.

Single? Single? Yes. All right. Maybe you make some All right. What about for a night? Kayla? I keep looking for you. I really do. Well, we love you so much. We're going to get back to it, but we miss you. All right. Love you. Bye. Love you guys. Okay. Take care. Stay warm. Bye. She literally, she's like, I'm looking for Caleb. And I'm just. I love her.

And you know what? Maybe he's just doing so well right now and a good man's gonna come. Yeah. I love her. I hope she does find you one in Cleveland so that we can reside there. He's gonna have to move to New York or Kansas City

one or the other. Yeah, but we'll buy property in Cleveland. We can buy property in Cleveland. On the lake. Yeah, I've got property everywhere. I'm buying up properties. I wait until something bad happens and then I snatch it. Mr. Monopoly. Where's your monocle? Yeah. I

want to start renting out to people at extortionist rates. Absolutely. Yeah. Raise that rent. Raise the rent. Raise the rent. That should be $20. Yeah. Molly, I got a segment for you here. You ready for this brother? Honestly, whenever I listen to this part, I so anxious okay yeah and I don't want anyone to judge me on my knowledge of anything just go as quick as you can and you'll be fine okay sure go I count on my fingers I'm gonna when I listen I

count on my fingers all right I'm gonna read you 15 statements you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false ready yeah Scotland is a larger landmass than Greenland false false. False. The yo-yo was invented in 1866. True. True. Better Call Saul ran for more seasons than Breaking Bad. False. True. LeBron James attended St. Vincent St. Mary High School. True. Lake Erie is the

smallest Great Lake. True. False. It's Lake Ontario. Oh shit! It's the most shallow. Facebook is older than Olivia Rodrigo. True. False. A ham sandwich was the first food eaten in space. A what? A ham sandwich. False! False. Puraide meat. The Lincoln Zoo, the Lincoln Park Zoo is in Chicago. The Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago is free to visit. True!

True. There are 17 stars on the Ohio flag. False. True. A crocodile cannot move its tongue. False! True. Golden Kraut was originally a taco stand Paul false Cleveland is nicknamed the forest city true

Oomathurman's real first name is Becky false Before selling backpacks Jansport's held knives false the guy code Gecko's name is Gary Paul false it's Martin how they do stroke you did great buddy oh I'm sorry I swore so much mom no she'll love that she's gonna hate that I'll be getting the Texan soul you probably you I swear you know what I've just been thinking about? I just,

I was a chance that I told this to, I don't know who I told. No, it was, uh, my friend Kevin. I have been become reobsessed with an M and M lyric. One of my favorite M and M lyrics of all time. And I I'm not going to get the words exactly right, but the gist of it is, uh, he like does it like a mocking voice and he's like, Will Smith doesn't have to cuss to sell his raps or whatever. Will Smith doesn't have to cuss in his raps

to sell records. And then he says, this is so funny that I'm doing this right now, but I'm like stepping out and Eminem lyric. Will Smith doesn't have to cuss to sell, doesn't have to cuss in his raps to sell records. And then he says, well, I do. So fuck, fuck Will Smith and fuck you too. That line is so beautiful to me. It's Chris, I do so fuck fuck Will Smith and fuck you too that line is so Beautiful to me. It's Chris. I do have to cuss I feel that way about clean comedians I don't have to cuss to be funny. Well. I do so fuck you I I catch myself cussing a rock Yeah, you cuss a ruckus. Yeah, I do you talk like a sailor. It's I'm coming. I do I do It's a not a non-binary person. I'm not a proper way to behave. I know you need to clean it up brother Frick Frick see what that works for you. You have a very cute way about you. Thank you.

So do you though. You can do like Frick. I need people need me to curse I think. I do need you to be swearing. I have a bit of a there's an edge to me that people need the curse words. Should I not swear? Is it too hard to see? No it's not too hard to see it's just that you're lucky you're true verse you can get away with being cutesy. That's the kindest thing. If I say like gosh dang it people are like what I should put that in my bio. Yeah Troopers can get away with cussing or not. I Don't like when people replace cuss words with something too cutesy though. Yeah like oh Like crap oh, yeah that pisses me off.

Oh, well, crud. Crud? Ugh. Or when people say stinking. I'm so stinking angry right now. I'm stinking tick. Shut the hell up. I do like how you're ticking me off. Ticking me off is good. Ticking me off is so much better. There's some good ones. One of my favorite ones is good night.

Good night is a fun one. Good night is a fun one good night is a fun night or goodness good those are fun you can really you can launch those at somebody or what's the Jesus there's one for Jesus holy man I like holy mackerel Jiminy Christmas yeah something like that that's a little too much for me one actually. Oh you think Jiminy Chris? I'm like just knock it off. All right You seeing anybody? No, no Looking single looking for something. I'm looking at myself in the mirror right now I'm looking at the man in the mirror. That's right. Not even looking for some casual fun

What can I do for you? You know, we got a lot of we got a lot of listeners who'd be interested in your whole thing I'm always looking for casual fun because I ain't dressing up, hon. Oh Molly you're bad I'm back, baby Molly you are too much But be serious Okay, you want a girlfriend? Not right now nice. I'm just asking cuz you know there's a lot of lesbians who watch the show. But I think you're all really beautiful.

God. It's like watching Michelangelo paint. Just see how the kid at work. Put me belly up and paint your ceiling, you know? Do you know what I love? Well, no. I like that. You probably don't know about this because you're not on Grindr.

No. There's a thing that really hot're not on Grindr. No. There's a thing that really hot guys do on Grindr where they'll be like, if I don't respond, my loss. You're beautiful. And I'm like, you need to go to prison. People put that in their bios? They'll be like, if I'm not into you, it's my loss.

You're still beautiful. Something like that. That's like a hot guy thing to do on Grindr. That's really gross. That's not a hot guy thing to do. That's a gay guy. That's a gay thing to do. That's a sick, okay, yeah, get him. to do that's a gay guy. That's a gay thing to do That's a sick. Okay. Yeah, get on. Yeah, that's gay. Yeah

Yeah, I Haven't bringing that back a little bit. Okay. I like yeah, I'm like wow Okay, I've been doing oh Yeah, I know I've been seeing it the F hearing it seeing it loving it. I like the F sir quite a bit Yeah, cuz like what like sometimes a couple years ago my mom would be like I'm all you're acting a little queer Queen that's so clear Queen and I'm like mom you mean like I'm acting gay or I'm acting like Weird she's like like already gay so you're acting weird. Yeah, and I she's the fucking Queen. Okay, that's my president Your mom is my president. She cooks. She's good. She's fucking real

I do like it's fun to be a part of a community that has a word that only you're supposed to use Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that special thing. It is special. Yeah, it's like try it say it back Yeah, say it back and if you do that's fine. I don't really care but I It's right in your neck Really? You're been in a physical fight. No, but man, in my dreams sometimes I wake up and I'm punching, so I'm always trying to look. Do you ever wake up when you're like...

Never. What? Not once in my life. You've never woken up by punching or kicking? No. Oh, I do it often. Is that normal? Are you doing that?

Are you doing that? Okay, so there's something going on in the mask community. Brother? Yeah, that's weird something going on in the mask brother Yeah, that's weird community. Yeah. Yeah, it's like And then I wake up I go Despite your voice in your overall vibe and your energy. You're quite soft. I Yes, you're a softie You're like walk into a room and you're like, I'm Molly Carney and then it's like

You're like walking into a room and you're like, I'm Molly Carney! And then it's like, and I'm like, how you doing Molly? And you're like, I'm okay. You know? You got a very sweet, soft energy. I do have this weird thing where people like to do my impression at me. It happens like often. Yeah. Well, you have a very, you have a very, you have a very unique thing.

Thank you, sir. Yeah. You have a big, burly voice and a unique perspective. So it's fun to do that. And you're a softy, too. No. Yeah, when you really get to talking. Oh, I mean, you tough ass.

No, no, I am. I am, I am. I think you're quite a bit softer than I am. You're real sweetie. Thanks, buddy. And me? Well, you're real, you're real sweetie. Thanks, buddy. And me well, you just you just That's a chisel on an ice That's what that is

And then you get in there and you're like, give me come here brother Yeah, you know what I'm gonna do after the work for it for you You know what I'm gonna do after this record give me a hug. I'm gonna give you a hug and then I'm gonna get Oh my casse me too. I'm coming with you. I've been yeah sure. I'm going to a place in your neighborhood Oh, really? I wish you would Okay, I love omakase and I've been on a big omakase kick. I love it. I like that they pick they do Select they perfect you say here's seventy five dollars if you're lucky you say here's seventy five dollars And they say I'll bring you sushi and then they just pick oh, I love that

You know what starving the only thing I tell them when I do I'm across the only thing I tell them is no eel I don't like eel. I know and I tell my I go nothing's too spicy really. I love spice. I can't I can't I'll do it I'll do it. Yeah, but I don't want to do it messes you up, but I'll know what you Like it freezes me chance told me he hasn't been able to keep food down lately. What? Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine. What's going on?

I don't know. We'll see. Are you coming out, coming out of your mouth or are you? Click. It's a lot of vomiting. Oh, buddy. It's going to be fine. Is it gluten?

I don't think so. I don't know. He hates that I brought it up. Maybe's gonna be fine. Is it gluten? I mean, I don't know Maybe I'm celiac. I comes with people and all they all when we get older I hear well somebody told me it might have been Norovirus like that's a thing that it's like a symptom of norovirus is that you have like gut issues But mine have been going on longer than what norovirus would have lasted. What if? What if you started it all Your patients you're over nor virus. Yeah, okay. You're also could just be getting old Yeah, how do you you're pretty old? Yeah, I'm 34. So did you go through anything like this vomiting for a while? No, no, it's get my generation. Yeah, it's good skips a generation Generation. Yeah, well shit. Well shit y'all shit y'all. Oh, Molly is there anything you want to tell the people about we're almost wrapped up here. Oh

Well Molly what's so true to you? Oh, what's so true? I forgot the premise of the show Oh, yeah, this show this show is not properly run on my end. Everyone else does an incredible job I'm telling you I have a team of people doing this show case in point case in point, case in point, Virginia case in point, everybody case in point. And I am not good at this show. Hey! They run this show like a tight ship and I come in goofy and I don't do the show. I would have remembered. Alright, what's your so true? What's so true to you? Molly Carney, what's so true to you? So true to me, I think Catholic school made me kind of gay. No shit. Yeah, I Agree with that brother. Did you go to an all-girls school? I sure did. Yeah Like a bead of honey. Yeah, that's crazy. They shouldn't let you in there. Yeah. No, it's fantastic

Do you have any do you have any do you have any dalliances any romances at the school there God no, oh really? I thought girls were just kind of doing I was like this Oh, you were scared. Yeah, I mean I didn't get my wisdom to that cuz I was afraid I was gonna say I was gay I didn't drink alcohol cuz I thought I was gonna get drunk and say I was gay Actually, this is not going You were driving a minivan to lacrosse practice I was and I've seen I know and I've seen pictures of the you dressed. You didn't need to get drunk to make that statement. I was the goalie catching gulls and balls. Not balls, lacrosse balls. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Um, you ever slept with a guy? God in heaven.

Put some respect on my gay ass name, sir. That's gold star,ny to you I love that So you weren't getting drunk because you were worried you'd come out as gay, but you were still wearing those outfits, huh? Correcto correcto man. I was I Was cooking when did you come out now? I'm just curious 21 when you were 21 years old at Dayton. Yeah studying theater. Yeah Once again, I'm just kind of surprised that it took all that time. No, for sure, for sure. It was, I think it wasn't a surprise to anyone.

Yeah. That's beautiful, Maul. Yeah. And now look at you. I love being gay, I'm a gay wad. I love that. Caleb and Molly. Don't call me a gay wad.

A bunch of gay wads. Gay, gay, gay wads. That's actually kind of beautiful. Why do you have a good singing voice? There was a little bit of a gay gay gay. There was a little bit of a You have a great singing voice. There was a timbre in there that I liked. You have a great singing voice.

Come on. Stop it. Come on. Don't start. Don't do this. I'm shy. Don't do this I'm shy don't be shy be my guy Kevin and Anna and I were watching a football game the other night at my house in Kansas City And Kevin's like do you have a guitar and I was like yeah, and I brought the guitar out We all started we he starts playing and then we all just started writing a song together So we're watching the Ravens game and then being like this part should go like this and then we wrote a song about

I can't take what it's about but I can't because it's not it's not prepared. I'll tell you off Mike. Sorry guys Sorry guys, some things are secret because it's not always my business to tell We'll tell people where they can find your malls meet brick Molly on Instagram meet brick meet like a Piece of meat. Yeah, I don't know about pile, yeah. Yeah, see what's cooking there. See what's cooking.

I gotta stop saying that too much, Gen Z's in my brain. No, I like it, and I love you so much and thanks for being on the show. Thanks for having me, everybody. Love ya. Love you. Bye. That was a hate gum podcast.

Hey, it's Nicole Byer here. Let me ask you something. Are you tired of endless swiping on dating apps? Fed up with awkward first dates and disappointing hookups? Girls, same. Welcome to Why Won't You Date Me, the podcast where I figure out love and how to suck less at dating. Each week, I get real with comedians, friends, and celebrities about their love lives.

We swap dating horror stories, awkward hookups, and dive into the messy and wonderful world of relationships. I've chatted with amazing guests like Conan O'Brien, Whitney Cummings, Sarah Silverman, Trixie Mattel, Tiffany Haddish, and so many more. So whether you're single, mingling, or boot up, there's something in it for everyone. Tune into Why Won't You Date Me With Me, Nicole Byer, and discover insights that might just save you from your next dating disaster.

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