So True with Caleb Hearon - Ontonio Kareem Lived a Double Life

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Ontonio Kareem! Ontonio and Caleb talk the similarities between their dads, Racial Visitation, Golden Corral, nepo babies, therapy, and much more!  Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/  Follow Ontonio! @ontoniokareem Follow the show! @sooootruepod  Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings  Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Head to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE  Get 80% off everything when you sign up as a VIP! Just head to Fabletics.com/sotrue, take a quick style quiz, and be sure to select sotrue when prompted to unlock your 80% off.  Try Trü Frü! Blue bags with fruit found in the freezer aisle! So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York.  A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wave Just the worst guy Just living two different lives Like I was in a black fraternity Turned up, cool And then I would sneak off And be with the white philosophers Let me pop out

When I want to pop out Yeah seriously Like I'm trying to pop out Twice a year, bro Yeah? Twice a year You just you did Fallon in the first Like two weeks of the year

So you got one down The rest of you You've got one down. One more appearance. Yeah, I see y'all in June, man. It was Fallon, right? Fallon, yeah. I didn't make that up.

You just did Fallon. I just did Fallon. How was it? It was great, man. Yeah? It was great. My mom flew out, dad flew out. Cool.

Two best friends flew out, man. I cried. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah. I had a little beautiful moment, man. So it was fine.

For a brief second, when you said, mom flew out, dad flew out, two best friends. I thought you were referring to them as your two best friends. And I was like, I was about to cry. I was like, that must be the coolest thing the world for them to hear. Oh, that would have been kind of corny if I was just like my two best. No, I would have loved that.

Are you kidding me? No, man, it was, it was beautiful, dude. I had, like, hood niggas and Fallon's studio. Just two dreadheads in there, like, listening to Chief Keep. It was great, bro. There's a feeling, a different feeling, but a similar one that I have as, like, a, I just grew up really poor in Missouri. So I'm often in these spaces, and I'm like, we were never supposed to be in here.

I know that about you, man. The one time I talked to you, like we had a conversation on the street, you like got a hood reference I was saying. And I was like, Caleb, what the fuck? Like we got neutral friends, but I'm like, Caleb really know about this shit, bro. That was crazy. It's a funny thing. I never like, there's a funny thing that happens a lot. I don't know if I've talked about it on here before or not.

I've talked about it somewhere. But there's a funny thing that happens a lot where people that are not white will talk about, they'll be like, oh my God, growing up X, everybody knows why. And a thing will be said that I'm like, it's not my business to engage in that. so I keep out of it. But a lot of those things, I'm like, oh, actually we're talking about being poor. You know what I mean? No, real talk.

I like a lot of things, like someone will be like, I had a friend in college once, and this was when I learned to like keep my mouth shut. They're like, oh my God, growing up Mexican, we always, I don't even remember what it was, but like something in the household.

And I was like, oh, no, we had that too. Yeah. And they were like, oh, that's not really the point. And I was like, right, right, right, right, right. I was like, no, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. I'm only, yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't really for you. No, let the poor whites.

Let the poor whites. Who's going to think of the poor white people? We had a few poor whites in my neighborhood, man. Shout out Gage, man. Gage, what's all, dude? I'm shouting out Gage. Yeah, give Gage some love for once. You grew up in Chicago.

I grew up in Chicago. I spent half the time in the city, like Southside, and then South suburbs. Half the time as in you moved or half the time as in you were going back and forth. I was going to see my dad. And then I was going where I liked. I liked it with my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Was dad in the city or mom in the city? Uh, dad was in the city, mom was in the burbs. Gotcha. But the burbs were not good. What do you mean? I was in Chicago Heights, which is like a terrible place. Yeah, of course. Yeah, but it was fun.

It was ratchet. Yeah. Why did you like mom's house better than dad's house? Uh, resources. Yeah. No, same. Going to my dad's house was war. Bro, my dad had one, just a loose couch.

couch. Yes. I slept next to a wait bitch. Yes. I was like, Dad, bro, even as a young kid, I'm like,

we got to get some decorating done, you can't just be sleeping like this. I'm telling you, my dad, same thing, my mom had a home with like, I had a room and it's where I lived.

I went to my dad's house. He didn't, there was, he moved a lot, but there was a period of like four years where he lived in one place. I didn't have a bedroom

so I slept in the kitchen. No. And you're thinking, you're thinking, oh, he put a bed in the kitchen? No. I slept on the floor in the kitchen. Palates.

Like a little, like air mattress and a sleeping bag. Your pops a little alive? No, he's dead. Okay. So it'll be nice. No, I'm kidding. That's crazy. Yeah, dad.

Dad. Well, you know who's to say. But the thing is, it's not like he slept nice either. Like he slept on like a really shitty like 20 year old mattress. They just happened to have. Like he just didn't, all my dad wanted to do was like play video games and drink. Damn, Caleb, we had the same daddy. Yeah, what's rock on, rock on.

Yeah, shout out. Oh, yeah, you know what? Man, my dad, it was just like that. As a kid, it was fun because we would wake up, and my dad was obsessed with, like, kung fu movies. But we would just wake up and watch Kung Pal all day. Hell, yeah. I didn't know he was high until I got a little older.

He was like, oh, wow. He's like in this way more than I was. I mean, my dad, fuck with this kung fu shit, bro. Just the higher. dude just with a little baby kid and we just watched kung fu and that was our relationship for like four or five years that's sweet it was yeah it was cool he was fun i mean he's the reason i'm fun i think yeah because my mom was like when you go the repercussions that having a home and nice shit is that there's rules and regulations and shit they go hand in hand yeah which is unfortunate yeah

it's really unfortunate to have rules yeah i feel like you get to be ratchet around dad and then you got a fucking button up. Yeah. So I had that die con. Wait, so your parents weren't together, your whole? No, no, no. Off of real? They were, yeah, they worked at the same factory.

And my mom got broken up with or got out of a relationship. And my dad was in a relationship with someone. They hooked up one time and she got pregnant with me. What? And then she was like, I'm going to keep the kid. And then I'm, I don't know if my dad said, please don't. But that was definitely the vibe was like, please do not have that kid. What are you doing?

Yeah, he was like for real and she was like, yeah, my mom already had a kid, so she was like, fuck it, one more. And my dad was like, I'm not interested in being involved in that. And then he came back around, but. Oh, that's fine. Yeah. At least he came back around. You know what? That's how I feel.

I'm like, good for him. He did the best he could. Hey, man, look, I'm going to dip on my kids at some point. No, no, I'm getting the fuck out of there. I'm going to need six months at least for fuck off time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, six months of me time. Let the kid figure things out with mom.

He's fine. Hopefully, I really hope I get to have Nepo babies. Yeah? Black Nepo babies, man. I really want that. Yeah? I want my kids to be fucking just go anywhere. Y'all want to fucking step around shit on people.

Be jerks, bro. I work this hard so my kids can be little assholes, man. That's what I want. Yeah? I really do want that, man. Because I feel like, it's our turn to have that. Yeah. Because Jaden and them didn't do it well.

No. Jaden is, I find him so interesting because he seems so melancholy about it. He seems pretty sad about the situation. I'm like, Jaden, he's always like crying and stuff. I'm like, life's pretty good, Jaden. What's going on? Oh, for, do you know what I'm saying? Like, every time he pops up, he's like weeping and say, like, his Instagram captions are like,

none of us make it out of this thing alive, enjoy. And he's like, teary-eyed. I'm like, you're doing good, brother. Jayden, stop crying, bro. No, bro, what are you sad about? That is the best point I've heard about. What's wrong?

Just on a yacht, like, oh, man, what does it all mean? Brooding. Brooding on the super yacht. Yeah, I get that. No, I don't want no Jadens. I want Willows, though. Yeah, she's cool.

She's fire. And she's talented as hell. Her album, that little album, the Brown album when she got the Afro? Yeah. I don't know what it is, but that's the best album I've heard in You can't deny it.

She's a beast. And she, she'd be, she do the armpit hair. She out here living her best life. Well, you know she's talented. She's got the armpit hair. She's not shaving the leg. She's free. Yeah.

I love it. I love to see it. And she seems happy. I like it for her. She does, yeah. Now, Jaden, my nigga, I'll come get you, come get me a hug, dog. Let's hang out. We should get, you should get Jaden on here just a hug.

I would hang out with him. He seems cool. He seems, yeah. He's, he's, he's, he's. He seems a little sad. I could cheer him up. I have fun. I think you're a cozy guy.

Oh, yeah. We'll hang out. We'll have a good time. I'll remind him of how good his life is. I'll be like, relax. Everything's cool. Everything's handled. You tell him about the factory that you're parents.

Yeah, my parents worked in a factory. I mean, I will say, actually, like, I think if I was born into extreme wealth and, like, perfect circumstances, I think I would be very set. Like, I don't think, because then what is there? I don't know, it just almost feels like your agency is removed. It's just like, oh, you're set for life. I think it's just like, oh,

his parents. Yeah, well, there's something going on. I think if, I think if we was born was just some nameless, faceless, rich people, we'd be fine.

Yeah. You got Will Smith in there. Fucking, just dancing and rapping and shit. And it was like, my dad is a dork, bro. Will Smith has destroyed his legacy,

though. Yeah, but the Red Table Talks long before the Oscars thing, things were slipping out. Yeah, it was slipping out. It was cracks on it. Jada was saying things every once in a while

that I was like, wait, So y'all had August in here? I was like, what? What? Yeah. Yeah, she, you're right. Nobody's dissected this for real, for real.

I feel like we talked about it on the surface, but it was cracks a long time ago. There were cracks. It would also be crazy, like, to watch your mom play that role and set it off. Like, can you imagine watching one of your parents play that role? No, bro. Like, that's crazy. Yeah. Flip on the TV.

Struggle braids. Like, truly, like, fucking fucking the guy for the check. Ooh. Having a parent as an actor. Tears while you holding all this. Crazy. Ooh. Yeah.

Crazy, crazy, crazy. And then your dad doing the cabbage patch on the necklace. Your dad's a clean rapper. Your dad's a clean rapper. You got to get school supplies. Yeah. That's it. Hey, Jay.

I understand why you said. Yeah, you know what? I take it all back. Yeah, we understand. It makes sense. We got empathy for you. Wait, is your dad, is your dad showing you kung fu movies

how you got into Jiu-Jitsu? Maybe. Yeah, so I have a stepdad who pretty much raised me from three, but I think the shit my dad showed me, he was like a fucking, that was like the conspiracy theorist. Really?

Yes. He's the first guy. The first one. He's the prime mover on conspiracy theories. The general dog. This dude, man, I think he's the reason I'm kind of, because my mom's just a black mom. She's just trying to make sure I'm like successful.

This dude, we would go to Bible study and we'll come back from Bible study and he'd be like, so what'd you think about Jacob's ladder? What do you think about that? The intensity of this impression even? No, for real, bro. And you are six years old, bro. He'd be like, what do you think about Jacob's ladder?

I'm like, I guess God showed him a beam of light. He was like, it was a, a spaceship. I'm like, yo, I'm trying to watch anime, dog. Then he'll flip and he'll go through it and be like, it says a wheel of fire. What does that remind you of? I'm like, all right, bro.

Just a couch floating in an empty room at his house. Just sitting here down. Dog, it was a weird place to be at six, dog. And I would go to school and have to just pretend. that I believed in God the same way everybody else did. I think God has a flying saucer, though.

Yeah. You have to go to school with all these sheep. Yeah. They don't know the truth. They don't fucking get it, though. Y'all fucking walking around here. You idiots.

Fucking dumbass. I almost envy you guys. Yeah, I wish I was ignorant. Because you don't have to know what I know. Man, that's a big ass. Yeah, he was just, he was OG Flat of Earth, OG Anunnaki.

You know the Anunaki? No, what is that? Oh, Jesus. What is Anunaki? Oh, my God. All right. Oh, shit. Teach me.

Yeah, put me on. Anunaki is supposed to be this race of aliens that came. This is, I'm, I should edit this out. I'm already interested. No, no, this is got to go in. Race of aliens that came. There's fourth dimensional aliens, right? They're meant to, they're basically angels.

They're meant to watch over human beings. Some of them got a little spicy came down here. Made it with human women. Fuck. Created giants. God didn't like that. Yeah. Flooded Earth.

Oh. Noah. Yeah. Oh. Fuck. Then, once he killed all the giants, the Anunaki created this form of, from the remaining humans that were here,

who were like savages. Yeah. Implanted their DNA into us. Created this version of humans. Yeah, regular size. Yeah, regular size. Or fun size compared to knowing. Yeah, the giants, yeah.

And that's where we think. Like our idea of what we're worshipping is really like false gods. There's one true God and then there's like these dimensional beings and that's what he like taught me. I just, I flub that. But it is, that's the gist of it. It's like all the Bibles, all the religions are based on these Anunaki creatures. Because that's why they all kind of follow the same. storyline. So there's like these being like

Thoth in Egypt is basically Jesus. Now I'm listening to you, but I want you to know, I just saw a painting in Madrid. Okay. It's called The Fall of the Giants. It was painted in 1636. I liked it so much that I took a picture of not only the painting, but also the little description. And I got in trouble because I didn't know you were supposed to take pictures. This woman comes over the works of the museum and she goes, she goes, Espanio or English? And I go, I go, a little espalio but english and she goes don't take pictures

and perfect oh god oh yeah she nailed it like it like it might be the only sentence she knows in english other than espial or english don't take pictures but the description is uh jordains based himself on a small oil sketch by uh no in brussels inhabitants of the earth the giants aspired to reach the heavens and were consequently punished by the gods um oh ovid narrated the episode in there fall Episode of their fall in book one of his metamorphoses. The Giants attempted to take the celestial kingdom, piling mountains up to the distant stars.

Then the all, okay, and then they got destroyed by lightning. But that, I've never heard of that. Oh, then they got destroyed by lightning. But I thought for a second, I was hoping reading the description, it would be like the same thing you were talking about. But it is. I think there's, there's, there's,

I believe there's some kind of truth to it, maybe. Like, I do believe in other beings and dimensions and all of that. but I don't know if they were like if it was a concerted effort to come down here and just fuck on people. Yeah. You know, but I do think there are stories of giants in every religion. It's so funny, every

time that we like as humans think of other beings, like when we think of God or when we think of aliens, we always assign to them the same like stupid, petty like base things that we have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, and then they ruin the earth because his lover

cheated on him. It's like, I don't doubt that they're trafficking in that kind of shit. They're horny up there. You think they're horny in the sky? Yeah, bro. Fourth dimension. I think you get rid of horniness in the fourth dimension. God, I hope so.

Me too. What a curse it is. I'm sick of this shit. Being horny? It's ruining everything, though. No, I need to be put down like a sick dog. Yeah, chop it. Honestly, let's get, we got to evolve past this, bro.

Horniness. Horniness. Get it out of here. Get it out of here. It's ruining my weeks. Yeah. How so? I want to get shit done.

I'm like, maybe I should call it. I'm trying to read Norwegian wood. And I'm like, maybe, oh. You know what? Let me call it. I'm going to call someone I have no business talking to. I don't even like this girl, but let me call up. That was deeply honest, what you just said.

That was deeply honest. Because we do. I have tried to grow up a little bit. In my mid-20s, I would break things. off with a guy that I was not interested in. And then I would get horny, you know, three weeks later and call him. And then, of course, like, yeah, we enjoyed hooking up. But that's so irresponsible and, like, mean to know that someone likes you more than you

like them. And I have really tried to grow up. I almost did it two nights ago. Oh, my God. We're getting, now we're speaking the same. I didn't know we were the same guy. We're the same guy. Yeah, we are.

I have, I struggle to think of a difference. that's my thing I think I like I've grown past it too like when I turn 30 it kind of it really shaved off a lot but I'm like I can't use people to self-soothe

yeah I'm sorry fuck yeah we know we're supposed serious time whoever needed to hear this I guess damn no that's true but yeah so I'm trying to get away from that but the horniness is a problem man it's like it's like anything else

like I don't drink I know you don't drink. No, not much. All the homies don't drink, really. So, I need, no. We need to, you know, we, we have a problem right now where cannabis, like weed hangout spots, like weed, like, weed bars and stuff, it's not working. We need, like, a dive bar that does, like, cannabis drinks and lets you smoke joints. Yeah, and, but the, I think the vibe got to be correct. They still trying to put the club vibe in the weed spot. Cut it out. Cut it out. Get the grass wall out here. Get the fucking brush wall. Get it out of here.

Get the neon. The cursive neon. Dude, dude. Get all that shit out of here. Get the cursive neon the fuck out of here. I need water running over rocks. Yes. I need some smooth shit.

Play the Charlie Exe. We can play some. Give me one of those little gardens where I rake the sand in a pattern. What are those called? The most obvious name. Dumbass. Let me rake the garden. Let me rake the gardens.

Yes, bro. Like, it got to be a vibe. Like, every smoke spot, a weed comedy show, you've been one of those? No. It's, oh, Caleb, thank God. Is it bad? Damn. Nobody really wants to be laughed.

If I don't know you, I don't want to be laughing around you while I'm high. You haven't tried to laugh with a stranger when you was high? What's fucking funny? Dude, I don't know you. I don't know you. I will fuck you up. Is it the audience is high and you're high? Yeah.

The worst combination. You know what? Because then you start doing your little like inner monologue references. Yeah. And that ain't for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like doing memes from Instagram on stage and people like.

It's like, all right, this guy did not write a single joke. Yeah. Now he's just like a high brain is taking him somewhere else. I have never been, uh, it was a kind of an interesting thing I noticed in Chicago. I've never been high or drunk on stage. What? Ever once in my life. Never.

Never. Never. And I never. I always, I always. I guess I'm not opposed to it for other people. Everyone do your thing. I'm opposed to it for me. Nobody do their thing. People, no, don't do your thing.

It's bad. Everyone do my thing. I noticed in Chicago, like, when I first got there, everyone was, like, a lot of people were getting, like, ripped to do improv. And I was like, you have to be drunk to do improv? Doing that on improv is scary. Crazy. I can't be under the influence for improv.

No, I can't be. I don't want to be high on stage up. Because I need to be so, like, I need to be so locked in. And partially this is because I bet people are better at it. Because if people who have really tight jokes that are like very memorized to the word, that's not my style. I bet that's easier under the influence because it's just in your body. 100%. I'm very like shifting things around all the time and taking off ramps and picking new. Like I need to be like actually cognitively present.

But if you don't, I bet it's a lot of fun. I'm sure. Like the white boys I've seen that are very much like Trump and then they be. fucked up on stage, but they're just reading a book, basically. Yeah, they have, like, wrote memorization, and they are just regurgitating. Yeah. Which is a cool, I think it's a cool skill. It's just not the way I do it.

I wish, I actually wish I had that. Yeah? A little bit. I wish my pen was a little bit more fucking college APA style a little bit. But me, I feel like me and you are vibes. We get up there, like, and we got jokes, but it's like, we're flowing. I'm curating. And if I'm high, I'm up there like, yo, everybody.

Okay. That's the counselor in you. Yes. That's the therapist in you. I wish that guy would get out of here. Get him out of here. All the empathy is still there. Get him out of here.

Get the counselor guy gone, man. Are you still doing that? No, we've finally done. That's in the past. But yeah, it's like four or five months out from nine to five. Yeah. Yeah. But I'll miss.

I genuinely like doing it, man. I really do. Like, I wish, I think I'll start an organization and kind of birds are it now. I don't want to be on the ground no more, bud. I'm not an infantry man. I need general work. Don't send me front line no more.

These kids, I love y'all, but y'all, I hope y'all doing well, man. It's a lost cause. You were a children's counselor. Yeah. Yeah, for a long time. How'd you get into that?

I went to college to be a neuroscientist. You Chicago, right? Yeah, well, U.I.C. Then, grad school, you Chicago. Nice. quickly realized I'm not fucking operating on nobody's brain dog

I got to organic chemistry I'm like I'm not going to be in the OR I'm high in organic chemistry like yeah okay cool and then I switched to psychology and I got really into that and I was like at one point

doing philosophy and all this boo I was a dickhead in college really? Just the worst guy just living two different lives like I was in a black fraternity turned up cool and then I would sneak off and be with the white philosophers.

I was tripping, man. But I realized, like, I wanted to come back. Sneaking off to hang out with white people is so fucking funny. To, like, secretly hang out with white nerds is so funny. Hey, bro, anybody who know me knows that's my existence, bro. Like, I sneak off and hang with y'all, bro. I love you all, man. I ain't go wrong.

But it needs to be a secret. Yeah, it does, yeah. That is so fucking funny. Oh, it was so funny. Like, legit in, like, like, fraternity parties, like, doing our frat shit and then, like, sneak on. Be like, do you read, um, meditations? Oh, it's great. Yeah.

Just having dialect with people. This is fun. But I realized I wanted to, like, go back to Chicago and kind of change. I had that idea. Like, yeah. I'm going to change the hood. I'm going to, we're going to do it, man. We're going to get the kids together.

other first job I was like oh we can't get these people we can't it's not happening it's not happening with me yeah maybe if I get enough money maybe I could throw money at it but at this yeah yeah it was um but I did it for a long time and I really enjoy it the kids fuck with me because I'm not like going by the book yeah like come in and it would be like this and eventually you do that enough with a kid they'll tell you what's going on you know what I'm saying yeah you can work from era, but it's trust, really. Trust is everything when it comes to trauma for me. Yeah. Yeah, so.

That makes sense. What fraternity were you in? Alpha Phi Alpha, man. Come on. Yes, bro. I got in so much trouble one day. My friend who was in a black fraternity, uh, chance, do you remember this? We went to college together. Where did y'all go? Missouri State.

Yeah, and I, we were at like a tailgate for a football game and I was in a fraternity and we had like a hand joke like a silly hand signal that we like made up. It wasn't like a it wasn't an official organizational thing for us and you know the black fraternities

have their stuff and I was asking my buddy I was like wait well I can't remember what y'all's thing is and he was like I was like what's your guys is like hand sign and he showed me and then I was like I was like oh it's like this and I went to do it and he literally grabs my hands throws them down

and you're fucking crazy And I was like, he was like, you'll get both of our asses being put that down. We had opposite things. I was sneaking off with the whites for tent. You were sneaking off. I was like, oh, my bad.

No, it's serious, dog. It's very serious. We got to calm down. But it is. That's not my business, but I was very, I was very upset the whole day. I was like, fuck. I screwed it up.

I was like, I'm in trouble. Yeah. You were in trouble. I was in trouble. I've seen people get beat up about it, man. It's bad out here. Yeah, I think I had enough goodwill to get away with it for two seconds, and that's about it. The third second, we would have both gotten our asses kick for that.

But it was, I learned a lot that day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that serious. It's like, so the thing is, it's like, black fraternities are different than, like, I don't know what your fraternity is, but it's like. I was, mine was not a historically black fraternity. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if you guessed that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I kind of guess. There are some white. There's always like one or two white guys. Shout out Brendan, man. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. It's just, we take it a little bit more serious because it's like we needed the fraternities. Yeah. And colleges and all of that. It's historical, whatever. I keep making it so serious. But it is serious.

For sure. So it was like, yeah, I'm glad he smacked your hands down. There was no part of me that argued with it. The only thing I thought was why didn't I think of that? Oh, that would have been funnier if you did. be like, well, what? I've seen white dudes do that. Do what?

I've seen white dudes try to stroll. Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's get into it. Yeah, I mean, we really are such a humiliating, that's humiliating to hear. It's bad, bad. It's so, but it's, I don't know why sometimes it be endearing a little bit. And then you'd be like, I cut that off.

I'm like, no, this dude's a fucking dumb ad. It's not, it's what it, I mean, yeah, I mean, I obviously can't say if it's endearing or not. That's not my place. But I do think the note that I would give a lot of white people is like, everyone that you want to like you will like you more if you just do your thing. No, say that to the, bro. We put piano music behind this.

Dog, white dudes got to understand. And this is crazy that they don't know this already. But like, we just want y'all to be wacky whites, bro. Please. Just be. Oh my God, we love it when y'all just be white. Yeah. It's fun.

You come up fucking, and not, that's hysteria of the white people, but like when a white dude's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. We're like, yes. You don't. Thank you, bro. That's what we want, man. Stop trying to mesh everything up. Like, let it be suffered, man.

It's like the heart of it I know is that the genuine heart. I know so many white people like this. And I'm like, your heart is that you want. want this black person or this Mexican person or this Asian person to know that you, you're like, I like you and I want to be friends. But yeah, like most people just want you to be authentically yourself. Yeah. And that will get you so much further than trying to like imitate. Like, and also if your truth is, yeah, I think the truth is the thing. If your truth is that you actually grew up in a non-white neighborhood and you have a lot of the same like experiences and ideas and

culture, then that's your truth. And we can tell. Yeah. Like, One of my favorite rappers is a... Oh, no, she's not my... Hold on, hold on me calm down. Oh, wow, I'm getting out of hand, right. Yeah, yeah. A good rapper right now is this white girl from Indiana. Yeah.

Georgiana, have you heard of his lady? Georgiana, is she the... She's terrible at rapping. Oh. But she's doing it honestly. Like, you can tell she just love to rap as this little white lady. She's like, huh? Hmm. Most of her aliens are just hot doing it.

She's like, what? She's confused as hell, yeah. But she killed it. And it's like, do that man i'm okay with that like i'm not i don't want to mesh cultures honestly i'm cool y'all we can come we can visitation yeah visitation we can have racial visitation racial visitation is needs to be the name of something immediately a special uh a non-profit a 501c3 racial visitation needs to be something immediately 100% let's get racial visitation

fucking pop it bro racial visitation honestly we're we're gonna start racial visit It's a podcast. Yeah. Racial vegetation is our podcast. It's going to watch an episode every six months. Just to check in. Just check in. How are things with you?

Oh, that's great, man. What are you been watching and listening to? Let's share. Let's share. That is so funny. Yeah, man. So I feel like that's the, for the whites, I guess. Y'all just keep doing y'all thing.

You know, white people, white people, if you need anything, reach out. Let me know how I can help. Let me know how I can get you to not be strolling. I don't, that is so humiliating. Oh, yes. That's what I was talking. That is where we got here. That guy.

Yeah. It's, um, because they see you just having a good time. Because we all having fun strolling. And we're getting all the girls and then they fucking try to come. Please. And you can't really beat his ass. You just got to like mush him and pat him.

Yeah. Yeah. The head of face mush. We was, yeah. That is so funny. Yeah, man. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online.

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be on the lookout for those blue bags with fruit found in the freezer aisle. Thank you, Truefrew, for sponsoring this episode. Brendan, who you shot it out. Yeah. What was the haircut? Oh, that's so funny. He came in with the white, the quaff. No.

He came in, quaffed it left with a fade. I knew it. He's faded now. I knew it. And did he, no, there's no chance he did. He didn't have red hair. No. Not a white guy with a fade on red hair.

That's the classic one. Brendan, he was a dirty blonde. What is it called? Strawberry blonde. Dirty blonde is crazy. Wow. Wow. I know Brendan.

I've met him in many lifetimes. You've met Brendan was very much social justice. Yeah. Shout out of him, man.

He was a good guy. The first time I met a white guy like that was he was a line cook at Applebee's. Oh, that's the line cook

to black fraternity. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. And I really liked him. I was a host there and he was like 10 years older than me and he ran that kitchen

like the goddamn Navy. And I was like, I like that guy. Wait, that was your first job? No, my first job was at a Golden Corral. Ooh. I got, I will say, I got there.

I was supposed to be just working the cash register. And then I showed up on day one and they're like, you're also going to decorate the cakes. And I was like, oh, you can't put, you can't go cake. I said, oh, that felt, because I was not out of the closet, but I was like, that felt a little homophobic. They saw something in me. You'll do the cakes. And I did. I decorated the fuck out of those cakes.

Oh, well, then they was right. Putting the little carrots on the carrot cake. They saw the talent. Dude, I was, because I don't know if anyone's ever eating a Golden Crowe, every slice of carrot cake in Golden Crowe has a little tiny carrot design on it and frosting. That's beautiful. I was going crazy on those things.

Also, Golden Corral, best cinnamon rolls on the planet. Thank you for saying that. Yes. Golden Corral, Bourbon Street Chicken is something so special and powerful to me, to this day. I went to a Golden Corral in Springfield, Illinois, bro. Let's go. When they took us on the Lincoln exhibit, shout out eighth grade. Shout out, A. Blinken.

Nah, he... Whatever with him. This isn't about this about Golden Corral. Yeah. Bro, I've never had a cinnamon roll that fucking good in my fucking life. Special things are happening in Golden Corral. Are they still around?

Oh, they're around. Oh, we should hit that up. What, dude, I would love to go to a Golden Corral. Last time we were on tour, I made everyone stop at a Golden Corral. We should get the squad together. Let's go to a goal... What is the nearest Golden Corral to New York City? Chance?

I'm looking at a... Thank you. Oh, my God. I took the homies, all the New York people that lived here their whole life, they'd never been a cracker bearer. Okay. There's one in the Bronx. They're a golden corral in the Bronx?

Yeah, Van Nest. Whoa. I don't know about that. I'm wondering how I would be received up there. If my fat ass walked into the Golden Corral in the Bronx, if they'd be like, hey, there's a limit. Don't come up here and be crazy. I don't know offense to the Bronx.

I don't think they got the spirit for a Golden Corral. I don't know if they have the space. A golden corral needs a certain level of space To radiate the energy that it needs to have That is true Every golden corral is like a palace Yeah You see it shining

It's like one thing You need a 40 car parking You need like a 400 car parking And a moat in front Yes Legitimately Wait hold on Nah we got it

So I drove the homies that never We drove out of the city To go to Cracker Barcarborough Cracker Barrow. Cracker Barrow is Chance's favorite restaurant he loves to stop at a cracker barrel and you know what Michelle who's not here right now Michelle I learned only after hiring her I might not have if I had known

she also loves Cracker Barrel and her goal is to eat it like every one of them in the country and now I'm terrified for when we go on to her next because I'm going to be outnumbered Yeah okay not every She's trying to go to everyone Now does she mean it I don't know

But she loves a Cracker Barrel I'm not gonna lie Cracker Barrel I put up with whatever's going on in there Yeah I won't I walk in, I'm like, yep, yep, mm-hmm, yeah, I don't like that I'm here, yep, yep, yep, yep, serve me up, yeah. What are you getting in there? I'm going, I'm doing the casserole.

Casserol? They got this a hash brown cat, a hasbrown casserole? I didn't even know about this, I don't think. Oh, my God, it's cheese in there. They seasoning it up. Oh, we got to go, bro. We need a golden corral and a crack of barrel. Hasbrown casserole.

Steak tips. Whoa. They soak them in garlic butter. Whoa. And I'm a snob for French toast. I genuinely am scouring the country for the best French toast. Let's go to Cracker Barrel. 100%. I wonder what the best French toast I've ever had is. I know I've had some good ones.

I can't remember where the best one I've had is. But I'm going to think, actually, have you ever had a French toast with a, I don't remember the place I had this most recently, but sometimes they'll serve French toast with like an orange cream, like, glaze kind of thing. That, to me, is very special. Little goat in Chicago. Yeah? Best French toast on the planet, yeah. Wow.

The, sir, they do the OG maple syrup. They chop up the strawberries, but then what they do, little crunches of chicken, fried chicken. Crunch little popcorn chicken. On top? Sprinkled on it. Yeah, that's really special to me. Oh, I cried in that joint, bro.

That's really special. I cried. I was dapping everybody up. They like, what the fuck is right? Yeah, all right, yeah. Okay, bro. That's so funny. Yeah, but that's my bag right there.

Wait, I have a question for you. You, okay, so we're done child therapy, forget the kids. We're not worrying about them anymore. Comedy full time? Full time, baby. How's it going? I'm really good. Yeah?

Yeah. Are you good with the free? Okay, this is my question. Yeah. Okay. Me neither. No. I thought my whole early 20s teens when I was working all the time,

I thought, man, once I have. free time. It's over for everybody. I'll write a movie a day. I'll write new jokes. I just was like, I'll do it. And I can't, I cannot get myself to use my free time. I'm not disciplined. I wake up at 3.30. PM? Some days. I wake up at 3.30 and a huff. In the days rush to the coffee shop. Drop my shop.

Coffee? You need to go get dinner. I'm still acclimating to because you know, I've worked nine and five. I'm like, the first few months, I was just like, I'm waking up with the fuck. I don't get a fuck. Yeah. Now, I'm to 11 now. Yeah, that's really good.

Yeah, 11. I mean that. I still hit the gym. I still do what I got to do, but it's late, yeah. That makes sense to me. I mean, also, if you're doing a lot of, I, a lot of comics do this. I know that a lot of comics do this. I do so many comics are sleeping as late as they possibly can in the day because they're

going to do a 2 a.m. spot at wherever the fuck. 100%. But what you're saying is, I always thought. I'm sitting in my nine to five, like doing a session with a kid, they leave out, I do my notes for the kid and I'm rushing to write jokes or thinking about, I felt way more creative during the nine to five days, honestly. Actually same and it's been really distressing to me. Yeah. Because I hated my, I hated my days then. I liked my life, but I hated having to be somewhere. I have a real problem with authority. It's like the most identifying thing about me. A hundred percent. I don't like, I don't even like when I tell me what to do. Like, I resent being told what to do. We gotta go to the gym.

I'm telling myself, you do, you're gonna tell me to write jokes. Okay. Fuck me. We'll see. I fuck you to me. I hate,

like, I hate being told what to do. Are you, when your birthday? It's this week? Oh, shit, happy birthday. You come on my birthday party?

Now? Are you on my close friends? No. Yes, you are. Am I? You gotta be. Antonio, you have to be on my close friends.

If I check right now and you're not, how embarrassed will I be? Oh, my God. Yes, Saturday night. What are you doing Saturday night? I'm at your party. this won't be out by then so I feel very comfortable

uh wait oh oh yeah don't I'll be there well a problem has been remedied um don't worry something just got fixed it's a costume party okay I'm with that you gotta get a costume

what's the thing it's like Halloween no theme the only thing I will tell you is it's so funny because Norrie Reed was in here you know Norie yeah norie she was in here yesterday hanging out and she told me her costume idea and she was like, she was like, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to wear just like a dress. And I was like, it's not going to cut it.

Like you can't, you can't, you can't phone it in on the birthday. And then I posted a close friend story being like, hey, everybody, Norie just told me that she was planning on wearing a dress to the party. There's several days before the party. I just want to let anyone else planning on phoning it in to know, like, you have time to make a different choice. People start DMing me. I'm getting DMs.

Someone messed me and said two nights ago, I had a nightmare that my costume flopped. You run a tight shit thing. I'm creating a culture of fear at the birthday party. People come in and shaking. Is my costume good enough? Oh, okay. So I've got to lock in. Now I'm scared to be on the close friends, bro.

No, it's weird. When you get on close friends, you start out in trouble and work your way out. Okay. I got to get my shit together. No, the way I put it is like, I'm so serious about the costume. It's an open bar. There's a great DJ. It's going to be a great night.

The way I put it is, if you're planning on coming as like Jake from State Farm, Oh, no. That shit pisses me off. If you could walk down the street and someone wouldn't know you're in costume, you know as well as I do that you phoned it in. Yeah, I wouldn't do that to you. I know you wouldn't.

No. That's not you. No. But you definitely need to come. I will be there. Come have fun. It's going to be, and here's what I'm going to tell you,

it's supposed to be seven degrees on Saturday. I am already anticipating the text I'll get on Sunday. They're like, hey, so sorry. You know, a pipe burst. No, it didn't. It was cold and you didn't want to do the Uber. And I'm already, I'm prepared.

I'm preparing myself to be gracious. I'll tell you one thing, bro. I get creative with those excuses. Oh, yeah. To the homies? Yeah. Oh, man. You wouldn't believe the things I can come up with.

Oh, yeah. We get in the mud, I'm doing more creative writing there than I am on my set. My best writing is in them text messages. I'm going to town, man. I'm not going just grandma. No. It ain't grandma.

No, grandma's healthy. I'm pulling a picture. I broke my finger. I broke my finger for real like five years ago. Yeah. I still got the picture. Please. You're going to be using that picture when your hands don't even look like that anymore.

Exactly. Yeah. But I'm like, it's only dislocated, so we're chilling. Yeah. But I'm sorry. Don't worry about me. Yeah, that's the thing is you have to come up with something severe enough that your absence is excused. Yes.

But not so severe that they start sending flowers. Uh-huh. But I am in that the sores, though. I'm using them words. Yeah. This, oh, this bequeaths me. Yeah. Indubidably, I have encountered.

Oh, my goodness, man. Yeah. But I won't hit you with that. No, no, no, no. I feel that you'll come through. And it's going to be, it's going to be very fun. And you're single. Yeah.

There's going to be, let me tell you something. Antonio. You can't think of a better room in the country to be in than a party that I'm throwing if you're a single straight man. Caleb. We run something. Somehow we run in the same circle a little bit. Yeah.

We have adjacent circles. Yeah. I've been in those rooms with you and your people. I was not single the first time, but this time I'm going to have some fun. Oh, Kayla, I'm ready for this. This is what I'm, you're going to have a very fun night. My friend, I guess I won't name him, maybe it would embarrass him. I have a single straight guy friend who's a very talented musician.

At the party last year, every once in a while, I would cock my head and find him, and he would be in a corner. These girls are, he's like, there's a member of the Blue Man group trying to get his number. You know what I mean? Like, he is just like cornered. Crawling up the wall. Truly, these girls are feral because straight women don't get, we don't talk enough about how these women are feral. Eaks. Freaks.

So I, the, the felon shit, man. Yeah. My DMs look like Mardi Gras right now. Yeah. People don't talk about it. And I think I'm the only man that can talk about it to live it. And I'm sorry, y'all, these girls, man, they wild and it's bad. When was your last relationship?

Because now I'm trying to get to the bottom of what's going on with you. We can get to the bottom. We can talk about it. You're a conventionally attractive, very funny child therapist who's a comedian that also dresses well. You have good style. And you're a nice guy. So I'm like, either you're a serial killer or every woman in the world is really bad. at dating, but something is going on.

I'm not a serial. That is a pipeline, though. Yeah. All the attributes, he's murdering people. Are there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got empathy, so I'm not murdering people.

Yeah. I'm a whole, Caleb. That's a problem. See, that's what it is. That's what it is. When are you going to settle down? I don't know.

How long are you going to do this? I don't know. It's, it's about three more years. You think so? No, no, no. No. That was a joke. It felt sincerely.

Immediately backing off of that. About three more years, you think so? No, no, no, no. The thing is, because I truthfully, I am that. I want to be, I want to have a family and all that shit, but it's, I got that thing in me, man. Yeah. I got that hunger.

I have that darkness. That darkness that says keep looking. Yeah, it's a, I don't know when I'm going to settle down. I think I have this ideal woman in mind. And that's the problem. You shouldn't be walking around with too much of an idea. ideal of something. You should let that whatever is for you come to you naturally instead of projecting out. You should just let you should let the thing come to you. So I'm trying to work on

that. And I got shit. Shit I need to work on before I can like really be with a girl. That was the problem with the last relationship. Yeah. Like I couldn't. I couldn't. Yeah. Yeah. Too much. Damn you that is a male ho. That sentence was so convincing and rehearsed. You You are a male ho. That, like, no, I've got my own stuff that I need to work on before I can. It's not true, yo. Hey, no, stop, stop, stop. It's not you.

It's not you. I fuck with you. Yeah, yeah. When I figure my stuff out, like, who knows what we could be? That's the problem. And that's the thing. That was my little topic I was going to tell. You can't be authentic and attractive.

This is what's so true to you? Yeah. You can't be authentic and attractive. You can't be, like, authentic. It's annoying. Yeah, what do you mean by that? Like, I am myself. But people always think I'm faking.

People think I'm like, this is a character. You being like a nice guy. Me being a good person. They hate that shit. You don't hate it and the homies don't hate it. But most people are like, you fucking shut the fuck up. Oh, you work with kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you got things you got to work on. Shut my dick. If I was a straight guy and I was out in the market competing with you, I would kill you. I would be in the comments of every video you posted being like, didn't laugh once. Yes, bro. Fuck this guy. Dude, I'm in war, bro.

I'm at war. It's bad out of you. That must be really hard. No, it's not. Come on. It's hard. Caleb, stop.

It's not hard at all. It is the truth, though. Like, people don't like that shit. And it's fine. Like, I'm going to continue to, I kind of like. You like being the villain? I think I'm learning to. It was hard at,

At first, because I am a nice guy. I've only ever heard people talk positively about you, though. You don't think there's like a, you don't think there's like a genuine, I understand what you're saying. We're halfway being silly, but also it's kind of true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you don't think there's like a genuine opposition to you, do you? Like, you don't think people are actually annoyed with you.

No, no, no. It's play. I think it's more so like a tongue-in-cheek type thing. Yeah. Yeah, people are like, mm-hmm. Right. Yeah, but it's not. There's a little bit, though.

Yeah. There's a little bit, but they're like, God, that's annoying. Shut the fuck up. But it's like we can go to the costume party together. Yeah. Yeah, like it's fine. I think a problem with dating right now for everybody, too, is like, or a problem that I feel anyway, I guess I shouldn't make it everyone's problem. Is like the problem of choice.

Like, when you're with somebody and things are a little difficult, that you go like, oh, they're getting on my nerves or this, this thing of theirs is brushing up against mine, which is going to happen. Have you ever heard of Porcupine theory? No. I don't know if this is the official name of it, but like the idea is, and I'll butcher. this. Whoever came up with this made it much smarter. Someone just Google it and you can hear the actual one. But the gist of it is, it's a theory about human intimacy. And the idea is that like porcupines, when it's cold out, they need to get close to share warmth. But because they have spines, inherently, they're going to hurt each other a little bit the closer they get because

they're going to prick each other. And that's what it's like to be a human being in like romantic dealings. It's like we want, we actually need to be close. We need to let people in. But inherently when we do, our stuff is going to poke their stuff and there's ours, et cetera. Yeah, yeah. The problem I think in dating right now is like every time you're with somebody, you, again,

I'm making this a universal problem about dating. Something I have experienced is that when I'm dating somebody and things aren't ideal, in the back of my head, I'm like, there's 300 other guys that would love to be doing this with me. That would be easier going about that dinner plan or that would be, you know what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm, but I think, I agree with you. I think, but going for the easy is the problem. 100% Yeah, that's the problem though

I had that a lot We're the same I had that I'm like And especially when they come into you Yeah I ain't gotta hear

about I don't want to hear about you No it's legitimately difficult It's narcissistic really 100% We all are being Manufactured narcissists now It's becoming more and more of that

Because I swear to God bro like The first Few years of my relationship my longest one, I can get out here if I want. Yeah. And I, you know what I'm saying?

It's just like, but I think, I don't know, I also think people are built different to a little bit. But I've been with so, I think the more people you be with, too, sexually, it's harder for you connect to somebody, man. 100%. Like, I can't, now I'm like,

when a girl says they like me, I'm like, hmm. which is bad i gotta go to i'm in therapy for it what do you mean by that like you're annoyed by it or you're like no no no i want it but i'm just like i've heard it a lot it's a foregone conclusion almost yeah you're like yeah i i have experienced that a lot of people are into me yeah and that sucks that sounds bad to say out loud no but it's reality yeah it's true as it's like there's a script almost now yeah and i'm waiting for somebody that doesn't have that script yeah once i find somebody that's like damn this sounds no it doesn't it's very very honest and i'm actually

very appreciative of it. But I guess I'm wondering for you as your friend, the only way to break the script of I am into you and would like to be with you is for someone to not feel that way. Now you're getting to it, Cameron. What are we going to do with that? Ooh, Kayla, now you're talking. I need a girl that hates me, bro. If we're keeping it a buck. If you don't like me, I'm for that. That is so annoying. annoying. I don't want that for you. I don't want that either, but God damn it. Like when a girl is like, put it like that, oh, shit out.

No, come on. Okay, I won't say no names, but I was dealing with a girl that was like, she was bisexual and she was in them, she could give a fuck less about me. Yeah. I feel like she couldn't care. And that was like, I love you. Yeah. Like you can go, you really like women.

Yeah. I'm just here for a little bit. I'm like male lord or dick. Yeah. And I was like, You were into that. We had a good chemistry. Like she,

we liked each other a lot. But there was this distance. Yeah. Where she kind of was just like, I can do without you, like, there's girls making me come. And that's,

we having a good time over here, sisterhood. And I was just like, not sisterhood. I want to, I want to, yeah, it was sisterhood.

There was a lot of sisterhood. Not sisterhood. Dang, you know they'd be throwing that around. Not sisterhood. Womanhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just like, it just didn't work out in that way,

but that was recently the most close, the time we shared, I was like, wow, I could have locked me in with that girl. Yeah. And that's dumb. Well, also, by the way, what you're explaining, I don't think is a super unique, like. Yeah, not.

Which is to say, I don't think you should feel bad about, like, we all want what we can't have. And every, not everybody. many, many people are like, I think, a very common problem in dating is that a lot of us are attracted to things we shouldn't be. Like, you know, being attracted to someone who doesn't like you. That's obviously, like, clinical and same. I love, I, there's something, I love the chase. I love a pursuit.

Are you tracing these guys now? You too, you, I feel like now. What are you talking to, you're going to say classy? No, no, no, no, no. I said you got, you, you, you clouded up right now. You ain't chasing nobody. Not clouded up. Well, that's the thing is I'm,

a lot of the guys who come to me that are, the guys who want me like that, that are like in the DMs. And a lot of times it's the same thing where I'm like, okay. Yeah. Even if they're hot, I'm like,

whatever. But yeah, a guy who I feel like I'm like working for it and I'm like really putting in the effort. That, yeah. What's your game, Caleb?

Stop. Can you get it? No, don't tell you. I'll tell you my game. What's your game? Uh, uh, I make shit happen.

That's that, that is, I send plans. That was tired, you know? Clip it. Clip it. Virginia, clip it. Clip it. Mr. Caleb makes it happen here. Please.

Antonio, please. Please. But I mean, like, I think so many, I think so many people are, I asked someone out yesterday. And he was like, oh, I never get asked out. And he's gorgeous. And I'm like, yeah, because people are intimidating. by how like gorgeous and he's very successful at what he does and yeah I'm like I just was like hey I want to take you to dinner next Thursday this is the time and the place let me know if you're interested let's go that's like but that's how I have to be you know what I mean I don't get the luxury of being one of these like Brooklyn Twinks that just gets to coast by on a jaw line I have to be I have to be plans you know it's going to do it for something people. Yeah. But it's going to need to also have a reservation on the other end.

Nah, darn. I can't wait to be Mr. Make It Happen. Mr. Make It Happen is crazy. Mr. Make It Happen is so funny. That's so fire. That, you know what? Clip it. Yeah, racial visitation and Mr. Make-A-Hadden. We got to get these five minutes. Clip it. Antonio, I have a segment for you. Oh, let's get it. A game. Did you know we play a game? I did not know we play a game. We play a game on this show. True, false segment. I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can after each one if what I just

said is true or false. You get 10 or more correct. We're going to give you 50 U.S. dollars. Oh my goodness. Come on. Okay, you ready? Yeah. A is the most commonly used letter in the English language. True. False. E. Fuck. Fish can't blink. False. True. Titanic was released in 1999. False. False. It was 1997.

50 cent and Charlie Chaplin were alive at the same time. True. True. The Chicago Stags were the original NBA team in Chicago. True. It's true. Venus is the hottest planet in our solar system. True. That is true. Whoa.

Monaco is the smallest country on Earth. True. False. It's the Vatican City. Red Belt is the highest rank in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. False. True. Training Day was nominated. I got to be it for four years.

I don't know if it's the Brazilian. Training Day was nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. True. False. should have been. Madonna's real first name is Caroline. I feel like it's true. False. It's Madonna. University of Chicago's mascot is Phil the Phoenix.

False. True. Your radius bone is in your leg. False. It's true. It's false. It's in your forearm. Canada has the longest coastline in the world. False. True. Fuck, I'm about to kill myself. I know exactly what has happened to you. Okay, I'll tell you later.

The CTA stands for Chicago Transport Authority. No, false. Falls in Chicago Transit Authority. Mr. Satan has never been killed in the entire Dragon Ball series. True. That is true. How do you do, Chance? Six.

Six is kind of a recurring number. I know what happened to you. I've played this game, what, over a hundred-something times now? Oh, if you count two or like 150? I, what happens is with a true false thing, people will get in a rhythm. Yes. Of thinking like, oh, the last one was such and such. So the next one must be such.

And the rhythm is just off. Yes. And I saw it happening for you and I wanted to help you so bad. I stopped. I stopped actually considering the question. I'm just saying, I'm just like, you got your head. Dragon Ball question was good. Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

I'm ashamed. Don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed. Chance does this to hurt people. Oh, you do this question? Oh, yeah. He's a total massacus.

He's a hurtful guy. Okay. Yeah, I'm fucked. You have six. Damn. You have six, which is beautiful. But yeah, you're not getting that money. My Madonna should.

I did not know that was her fucking friend. That's fun. That was fun, though. We talked about, okay, we talked about, we talked about mom and dad. We talked about, by the way, you need to tell your mom, I saw the photo of you and your parents at Fallon. She looked good. Yes. She looked so good.

I've been in many a fight. She had that dress on. She had that dress on. She had that dress on in a crazy way. Please tell her I said that. I will. I almost commented and then I was like, hey, that's not. You're going to see Antonio soon.

First of all. No. We talked about your parents. We talked about jujitsu. Yeah. We talked about your show, true. We did true false. Chance, how long have we been going?

We are at 58 minutes. Oh, great. What else is going on with you? What do you think about 2026? What's it all about? 2026 is going to be a good year, man. Yeah? Yeah.

I think it's, We kind of spoke about it a little bit, but I want to make stuff this year. I think I want to get R.T. Farty with it, man. Yeah, like, we'll take the, we'll take little acting roles here and there and do stand up all the time. But I really want to make things and make people feel some shit this year, man. Get back to filling some shit this year, dog. Yeah? Yeah, Mr. Make It Happen is crazy.

Yes. Do you think you were feeling things last year? Last year, I was very much on autopilot. Why? I will say. I just, I, it was my second year in New York. York and I think I was like, okay, we got to get out of survival mode. Yeah. So I turned the brain off and I went and I just worked, work, work, work.

Yeah. Now I'm back and I'm like, let's, we can be creative again. That makes sense. I feel like it's a lot of times when people move cities, like when people move from New York to L.A. or vice versa. That first like year and change is like, I'm just like, I am setting up my life. Yes. I'm trying to figure out where I get coffee.

I'm trying to figure out what train I take to what. Like you're just trying to figure out like how I live in a place. And then you feel like you're kind of let out of the shoots. You're like, I'm off to the races. Now I know my basics are handled. And now I can actually be creative or date or whatever the fuck. Yeah, people don't talk about that a little bit. It's like, that's what it is.

I think I came out of that fog. And now I'm like, okay, now we have friends. Yeah. All my homies here. We got community again. Now it's time to like you make that half. happen, you know. You said you wanted to act more. What is your, like, what is your dream role? Like, what is the thing that you're like, man, if I can, and I don't even necessarily mean,

like, working with a certain director or anything. I mean, like, if there's a thing you could portray on screen, what would it be? I really want to get into my brooding bag, man. I want to be a brooding guy in a movie at some point. Yeah, I can, I had it in my bag, man. I can do that. I feel that. I'm a sneaky lesbian, bro. No, I can see it. Yeah. I can see it for you. Thank you, man. I can see it for you. What kind of brooding guy? you want to do like, is there a role that, this is a good way to put it, is there a role that someone else has already played that you're like, that would have been? I'm not going to lie, man.

I really look at Lakeith a lot. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I think he embodies a kind of a style of acting that I really like. Just absurd, but still, like, he can pull you in emotionally still. But he's not doing too much. It's very much bringing you into his world. I like him a lot. and I like

a nigga in trouble but Jonathan Majors was pretty good in his heyday. Oh, he was in trouble, yeah, yeah, yeah. I briefly was like, is he in trouble? And then I was like, oh, in a big way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got in a lot of trouble, actually.

You know, before he got with the white women, he was good, man. Cautionary tale. Cautionary tale, yeah. And time memorial, as old as time memoriam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know you were, you're an actor too. I'm acting.

You get down. You get down. I would like more, yeah, I mean, I'm in the same position as you kind of. I'm definitely focused right now on like artistic pursuit. I actually was like reflecting the other day and was like, I don't really want to be, I find myself frustrated at any time I'm in conversations about building my career. I'm over to, I don't want to build my career.

I'm a creative person living a creative lifestyle and that will let in all kinds of different things. But when you start talking about a career, there's these like tracks and things you're supposed to do where I'm like, okay, if I talk about my career as a state, up, then inherently, as soon as I finished the, I put out a special last year, the second that's over, people start asking, where's the next one? There might not be a next one. I don't care.

And your shit was amazing, bro. And that should be enough, for real, that should be enough for a while. Eat this, digest this, bro. Like, you put in some real pain to make that. And let me live. Let you go. Fuck, I've seen you was in Europe. Like, do your thing, bro. Like, I don't understand

why, like, we drop in albums like, we AI, bro. You put some pain in. Let you ride that out, I feel like. Yeah, well, I also just want to leave room for other things to come in and out. Like, I want to, I want to do other creative things. I don't want to, I don't cease to be a stand-up just because

if I want to spend a year or two years or three years writing a fucking book and not doing any stand-up, that, when you talk about a career path, then those things become like, oh, you wasted three years because you're not on the career path. Yeah. But when you talk about living a creative life as a creative person, everything has value. And

I think if you don't show you know this industry who you are in your own creative pursuits they'll make a character for you I don't want that to happen because I have a blank face that they would try to slap a style

of being on and I'm not trying to do that so this year I'm going to show people like who I really am in the creative space and then hopefully I can just give me money to do that yeah that's what I want I see it it's on the horizon I see it I see it.

Appreciate you. I see it. A high five. Why not? A high five. You ain't did that in a while. I haven't done a high five in a minute. When's the last time I did a high five?

Years probably. Chance, but you keep track of my high fives. Where was the last one? Yeah, get the chart out. Antonio, please tell people where they can find you, how they can support you. Oh, man. Instagram, Antonio Kareem, YouTube, Antonio Kareem, and I'm in these streets doing stand-up.

Oh, comedy store, January 31st, if this country. out. Okay. If it's out before then. Cool. And otherwise, they'll see you. Go follow Antonio, check out his shows,

see him wherever. Thanks for doing it. This is great. No doubt, bro. Appreciate you. Appreciate it. Thank you. Appreciate it.