So True with Caleb Hearon - Stavros Halkias Returns

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Happy New Year! This week’s guest is the hilarious and handsome Stavros Halkias! Stav and Caleb talk new years resolutions, fat guy fashion, an ominous event that is haunting one of them, the Trolley Problem, stealing, and more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/  Follow Stavros! @stavvybaby2 Follow the show! @sooootruepod  Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings  Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York.  A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wave. It used to be when a young, like when a young hot woman would date an older accomplished man, it was like a professor, a lawyer, like a captain of industry, someone she could learn something from. And like, I'm dating women younger than me and I'm like, yeah, uh, George Clooney was actually Batman. I don't know if you knew that. Like that's what I'm teaching her about. Stop. Hell yeah.

What's going on, brother? Not much, dude. Nice to be here at World Headquarters. It's good. Hey, we're moved. We're level. I'm leveling up. I love this. We have a lot left to do. Yeah. Obviously, you're sitting against a plain blue wall. That's not going to work, right? That's going to need to be fixed. What are we thinking? Well, I got a lot of ideas, but one thing I was thinking is kind of doing like a, um, what we want to do is kind of like a cluttered, like, collagey wall of like a little thing. You know how a tiny desk has people like leave stuff behind? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to have something from Stavi up there. Oh, okay. And every guest. I get to be the first one? Yeah, you'll be the first one.

Am I the first one who's, no. Who's recorded in here? Yeah, yeah. No, we've had a couple others. Fuck. Well, and we've been recording here for a while, but we're finally getting our shit together about, like, trying to make it an actual studio. I love it. Has there ever been a bobblehead or a doll made of you?

No. I think a chubby little stovby bobblehead just in the background of the set. I was going to be offended that's immediately what you jump to, but I am made for a bobblehead. You just look cute. You just look cute. Yeah, a little apple cheeks, little smile. I would be a great bobblehead. Come on.

Yeah. No, you're right. You're right. but I will make it. I will sell it. You don't get to sell my bobblehead. Oh, no, I'll sell it. No, I'll be selling it. No, I'll have your name, image, and likeness.

When you walk through those doors, it's a silent contract. Anybody who walks into the So Trudeo. Yeah, when you agree, when you agree on a lunch order, it's like, that's understood. Once you accept a sashim, when you accept some salmon sashimi, you are also accepting. Just throw your order. here. Dorish has this new thing where you have to sign.

Yeah, put your thumbprint. You have like an old iPad that takes the thumbprint. Like put that there. That's legally binding. Yeah, hold on. I move an iPad around you and do a scan of your face.

Track it with your eyes. Track it with your eyes. Look, I'll dip your face in this clay mold. It's part of the lunch order. Just do it. Don't worry about it. Duh, anything for some chicken

terriaki, boss. Oh shit. You're looking slick in this little sweatsue, my friend. It is track suit season, of course. I had to get, you know, as, you know, my philosophy for fat guy fashion. Say it. You know, once the equinox happens, once the clocks turn back, it's now officially track suit season. It's not Hawaiian shirt season.

Yeah. It's sort of like fat guy fashion to me, it's like a rainy, it's like rainy season in tropical climates. It's either the rainy season or the dry season. it's either Hawaiian shirts or it's track suits and we are firmly in track suit season right now I know we don't share that that's not really a Midwestern fat guy thing

Yeah track suits are I feel very East Coast fat guy coated Yeah you would be it would feel like stealing valor Yeah what if if I were being true to my roots I guess it would be cover all season Yes I like that with a thermal underneath Cover all season see I don't feel any I will steal Midwestern fat valor no problem yeah I'll get I'll even steal you know

northern. I think that's the thing. We are lucky in the East Coast where the track suit, it is kind of like our thing, but I'll slip into, I'll slip into a flannel, no problem. Dude, I would love to steal, I'll slip into that, no problem. Well, you'd look great in a quarter of right. Thank you. I'd love to steal Baltimore fat guy, Vauer. I just, I'm not nearly scummy enough. Like, I don't, there is an inherent wholesomeness to you, you know, that would look fucked up. It would look like you're, it would look like you're doing a soprano's costume. Yeah, it would Halloween. If I tried to do that.

Bobby Bacala Halloween. Yeah. I just can't, like I mentally can't even, I'm an actor, I'm a creative, but like, I mentally can't imagine

that like my third DUI is giving my lawyer problems. Yeah, yeah. Child custody court. Like, I don't have that. No. And those are your limitations as an actor,

I hate to say. Yes. You know, it's like if you were a better actor, you could pull it off. And I'm not. That's the problem. I wish,

I wish I had range. I don't. I don't have range. I just don't have it in me. That's all right. one day you'll get there. There's just something in your eyes, there's a kindness that you have that's going to have to be beaten out of you. Yeah. To really make the tracksuit work, I think. You know? What do you think that's going to take? Like, how do I? Heartbreak, inevitable heartbreak. I think it's going to happen to you. I think you love too much. And I think someone's going to let you down in a major way. Uh, I think you're just too nice a guy. I got great news.

news. You gotta take the close friends. Maybe I'm missing something. Text me before you come on the show. I know I went through chance on the booking. Shoot me a text before you come on the show. Yeah, just the world beating you down. I mean, we're all, you know, I feel great.

I was thinking of this. I'm like a husk of myself. Are you? Yeah, I mean, you know, your hopes and dreams have been I mean, my, I've gone good, but I mean, you achieve things, then you're like, oh, that's not going to make you happy. The things you missed out on in your mid-20s, you never get those back. You know? What's haunting you?

Be honest with me, what's haunting you? Because it's hard to hear you say you're a husk of yourself when you're sort of like a handsome millionaire. Sure. I just, by the way, we were starting with so much. By the way, I'm a beautiful hush. I just saw you. I just saw you. And the most recent thing I saw you in my phone was a clip of you sitting next to MS. being like, I don't really know how I got here, guys.

Maybe ask Emma a question. Things are going great. That was funny. He did, the moderator at a begonia Q&A started with me, and I was like, you can't. This is bad. I was just like, I don't want to tell you to your job, but start with Emma Stone. I was like, I'm the last guy. I'm the fun little, I'm the fun guy for, you know, just a little color on the way out.

They brought me along to spice up the in-between takes. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm here for. No, I don't know. you know, I think that's what life is. Every year something happens to you that, like some unspeakable tragedy happens every, like, three years to everyone.

I mean, the world is bad. Somebody dies that doesn't deserve it. You know, heartbreak, what are you? You realize you're never really going to understand certain family members, and that's okay. Things that would make you crap, like, shit that would happen to me when I was 19, if, like, realizations that if I had had had when I was 19, I would weep for days.

Now I'm like, oh, this is going to make this Stallone movie a little more annoying to watch. Like, you know what I mean? Once you've been through horrific shit, you're like, whatever, life sucks dick, but we'll make the best of it. Well, you have its resilience. Exactly.

You've developed on the positive side. Yes, and you don't expect much. That's the thing. You don't expect much to them, whatever you get is awesome. Yeah. That's kind of how I look at it. There's a really funny Marin bit

in one of his specials that we loved in college where he, Chance and I and our buddies or he like came out with a notebook for his special. And he was like, yeah, I came out with a notebook because like, you know, if I didn't really prepare for this. Yeah, yeah. You know, if I, he says something on the lines like, if I, if I don't prepare and it's awesome, then that's amazing. I'm a genius. And if I didn't prepare and it sucks, I didn't fucking prepare.

Right, right, right, right. That's not I'm about life. I'm like, if it's amazing, I locked out. It's the coolest thing ever. And if it sucks, totally. Yes. Expected them. Absolutely.

Smart. How surprised do you think people are to be tuning into this? podcast and seeing two waters on the stools. Like, what do you, what do you think that's, what do you think that's doing for people right now? I think people don't understand that you're in for a long production day, you know, that there will be milkshakes after, like, right behind here, there's two, uh, coffee culottas. There's an emergency.

In a big 64 ounce. Emergency shake shack back here. I start fucking convulsing. Like, put a piece of candy bacon in his mouth fast. God. You ever had the snacking bacon from Duncan? I have had some, yeah, I'm a big Duncan guy. When I was a paralegal, there was a Dunkin' Donuts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did, I don't think I knew this. Yes, I wasn't, I lied to get the job. I hadn't actually graduated college, and I was just trying to save money for moving to New York. There was a Dunkin' Donuts, my two scummiest jobs, there was a Dunkin' Donuts as a paralegal across the street. I had, you know, four breakfast sandwiches every day with like, you know, I was like, it seemed like I was ordering for the office every time. I was in there. Just late. Just fully, it's 9.15.

And I'm at the back of the drive-through line, you know. And, and, and, and then I was a telemarketer in high school, and there was a Wendy's next door. And I fucked up, junior, I mean, I was eating junior baking cheeseburgers like they were pigs in the blanket. Dude, I'm taking down, I'm taking down 20,000 spicy chicken nuggets for wendies. With their, like, horrible cupped ranch. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Every time I see one.

Mm-hmm. I'm with you on that. A Frosty, no problem. The Frosty's the best. love it. It's the best. I really love it. It's the best, like, after dinner. It's like a pair of teeth as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, well, you're a man of class and taste. I've always said that about you. Thank you so much. What, uh, I was thinking about 2026, 2025 winding down. It is. 26. What do you think 2025 was about for you? And what is 2026? What are we thinking about the year changing right now? 2025 was just, again, me sort of, uh, uh, uh, sort of giving up and

losing to the world, like, uh, completely letting my boundaries get pushed aside. What happened? It sounds fake because I'm, I'm complaining about just like incredible opportunities, but I had like this thing where I was like, dude, I don't know. Show business can suck my dick. I'm a person. I'm going to take time for myself. And then I was just like, yeah, I'll just do whatever you say, Mr. Show Business. I'll fucking, I'll go, I'll do everything. I won't be a healthy person. I'll, I thought this was, I mean, every year's the year, I'm like, like I'm gonna put it together. I'm gonna get mentally healthy,

physically healthy. I'm gonna reconnect with everyone and I've just been busy as fun. I mean, it's just like, it's so boring because I'm like, I got to be in an awesome movie and I got to do press for it and I got to shoot,

just shoot different stuff. Like I just have been, I just like, just so hard being such a hot commodity in Hollywood. You know, some, you know, I'm sure soon you'll understand, Caleb. I'm sure, you know, you're getting there. Mm-hmm.

I think eventually nothing. I'll try. I see a little movement, but not quite. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get you. But yeah, just like, I really pride myself on being the, like, I told you this. I was jealous of how you'll just disappear to Europe or whatever, right? Yeah.

You just like find yourself, whatever. You pray love or whatever. And I wish I just would have just left for like two months and just like gone to Greece. I said I was going to go to Greece for two months. I went for like three days. between my London tour dates and my Dublin tour dates. I remember this. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So whatever. I'm just, I'm literally like, my goals are to be less successful and be unemployed more. Yeah. That's what I'm looking forward to for 2026. It's not looking good, unfortunately. Yeah.

I'm busy until like July, but we'll get there. Yeah. You need to start saying no. You really need to. I do, dude. Just say no. I say no. And you, you would be,

I, the things I say no to that I'm like, I purely just can't do. do something that week. It doesn't, like, you have to start saying no, because I know exactly what you mean. You're kidding about like, oh, I'm so busy. I'm so successful. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, no, actually.

I was real serious about that. No, no, you were kidding. No, I'm actually kind of crazy. You see my email. The stuff I turned down is kind of insane. But yeah, go ahead. Just say no. Yeah.

Just say no. Take some time off, dude. I will. I will. I will. Fucking relax. What do you? I probably will.

What are you working for? What are you running from? What are you running from? What am I running from? I mean, yeah, I don't want to be alone with my thoughts for even one second. I don't want to think about that question for even one moment. Get that away from me. Michelle, shout out, Queen.

Yes. What's up? Michelle with the coffee order. Come on, come through. Huge win, because I fully thought this was a half hour later than it is. Yeah, you walked in and screamed at Michelle and said, where the fuck is my coffee? Thank you so much.

Appreciate it. Um, yes, this will be, this is huge for me, a little call for duch. But yeah, I don't know, man. Uh, the general stuff. What are we all, what are we all running from, Caleb? Your energy this episode is one of my favorite ways I've ever seen you. Oh, yeah. Being, being like, being like, yeah, once you get the life beating out of your eyes, have your fucking heartbroken.

What, what do you think we're all running from? 2025 was the year I got fucked and said, okay, thanks. Thank you, sir, man. Have another. Please, sir, another. Yeah I don't know, dude Yeah, maybe you're catching

You're at a very introspective point Where I'm like, fuck The end of the year End of the year It is an end of the year situation Do you know what you need to do? What's that? This is my prescription for you

Please. Okay? First of all, say no to some stuff Go away, relax Perhaps we go somewhere together Work on our books. We talked about this. We talked about that getting a cabin together

Our frog and toad shit Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Writing a little dual bicycle. Yes, yes, on a bike. That's where we get the corduroy going. Baguettes out of the basket And shit. Come on.

That's one thing we need to do. We need to go away. And then I know you might not want to hear this. I think you need to be faithful to a beautiful woman. I think you need to be faithful to a beautiful woman, build a family in a home. I would actually like that. What am I running from? It's that.

It's like you see the fucking, I look in the future and it's like, man, fat, bald comedian trying to get pussy from 25-year-olds. It's not a good look. It's not a good guy to be well into your 40s. No. I don't need that. And I'm like, and however, doesn't sound that bad. At the same time, it doesn't sound that bad.

So I'm fighting, I'm fighting the, like, urge to just have a completely, like, no, like, that's a life that's purely on my, what do you call it, like, a hedonistic. I could live a very hedonistic lifestyle. Some might argue I do right now. And I don't want to keep that going forever. And I do want something, something with more depth, something that actually matters.

My brother had a kid, which has been fucking... Like, just watching my mom with my nephew is, like, the cutest shit of all time. Where I'm like, fuck, I'm really going to let this woman down by not giving her one of these. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know? And now I'm like, maybe I'll just fucking knock somebody else. Now I'm thinking, like, Mom, I'm doing pretty good.

Maybe I could just have a kid. My mom could have a... You know what I mean? Like grandkid that it's not really brought in the world with that much love. It's more like a convenience thing. But I probably won't do that. Dude, I went on a date with a guy the other night. And he was telling me, he was like, oh, yeah, I have this lunch tomorrow with this woman.

And I was like, you have lunch tomorrow with this woman? Come on. What are we talking about? And he goes, well, I got hit up by this company. He's a doctor. Yeah. And a gay guy, of course. and he was like, I guess

be doctors now, huh? They do. Yeah, that's, is he like filler or what are we talking about? No, he's, um... I get really mad. No, stop, we can do anything. That's what finally gets you

after baiting you for the first 20 minutes, that's what gets you? No, stop, gay guys can... No, he's... He got hit up by this company that once, there's these women in New York that are single, like business ladies

that are fed up with waiting on a man to get a tether. So they want a gig out. They're seeking gay men. And what they do is they have you sign a contract that's like you can only give me your sperm. You can't give it to any other women. And I'll pay you. You can't step on the package.

I need this shit uncut. Uncut. And I think the price was like 15 or 20,000 for the sperm. Nice. And then she's like once a year, there's like a contract. Once a year she'll send an update on the kid. Once a year he'll send an update on his health.

If anything has come up. Wow. Like when you turn 40, if you get like prostate cancer or something, they want to know. Holy shit. And it's like a whole contract deal. Wow.

That's, I mean, that's, you want to talk about dystopian. Crazy. I mean, we're talking like, girl bosses and gay guys

just being like, yeah, fuck it. We don't need, we don't need, it's like, how about you just both have families? What are we doing here?

What are we doing here? You've got spreadsheets on whether you have cancer or not to your kid. You get a post. card of your fucking DNA once a year? That's nuts. It's beautiful. Yeah, that's it. The advice you gave me,

you should give to them. To them, settle down. By the way, how mad do you think? How mad would those women be if I show up to one of those lunches? You want like a handsome tall gig. Fucking toothpick hanging out of your mouth. Hey, you know, we could save a lot of bucks.

We do this the old-fashioned way. I got 12 minutes right now, sister. What do you say? You ever see Bougonia? Yeah. I'll give you half off the juice if we do it old-fashioned. You know how sometimes you order food it's cheaper to pick up instead of deliver? That's me.

That's my deal. Yeah. Hey, you got any girlfriends? I'll do your half off as well. Two for one deal as well. Like when photographer. The five-five deal, Domino's. I do that for my load.

When photographers set up a studio session and people come in 20-minute rounds for cheaper hands. Headshots. Flash tattooing, but with jizz. Yeah, I think we can work that out. Yeah. That'd be beautiful. That is interesting, though. Yeah, I know.

But you're right. You're ultimately correct. And I think that's the one thing that's... Because the thing is, like, once you start... The odds of getting successful in, like, shit like this is our solo. But once you're here, it's like, you get the shot and you can keep doing it. That's kind of easy, right? What's hard is to just be a human being and like connect with a person and want to build a life with him and that's

To answer your question that is what I'm running from I think 100% but here's the problem You meet someone and they're great and it's like I could totally we could totally put in the work here and build a life together But every time something goes wrong there's this nagging voice in your head that's like there are a hundred people in my phone right now Yeah, absolutely Or who want to go on a day sure it's this like the the insidiousness of the app specific is like there's always another option. Yeah.

I think true. That's my problem in general too. It's like I love quitting. Yeah. Quitting is the best thing of all the relief of quitting anything. It's the best, let alone a relationship. Yeah, relationship, the best thing to quit ever.

It's like, oh my God, I don't have to text anybody. Yeah, this is over. I don't have to care about another person. I don't have to be, you know what I mean? Yeah. And you're sad about it too, but it's like, and that is clearly like the most psychological shit of all, you know, just like a loved one being a, like I couldn't until like a year ago

I couldn't even intellectually fathom someone you love not being a burden Yeah you know what I mean? Okay People are like hey that's actually good Like you want to love someone who also loves you They can make your life better My therapist said that I was like

Whoa Your family can make your life better I would kill to be in your therapy sessions Your therapist being like Love can be good And you being like, hold on. Wait a second. What?

What? That's so fucking funny. I know. It's pathetic that that was like a, of like, whoa, moment for me. Yeah. You know, it was. That's not pathetic. It's beautiful.

Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm not in therapy. I very clearly need to be. Wow. That's become apparent to me. I like that. That's a nice ag for you.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Being like, no, I don't need therapy. Everything about you is a guy who goes to therapy. Nice. What do you mean by that? You know, you're like in touch with your emotions. You have a lot of friends.

You keep up. with that, you know what I mean? You're a caring guy. Yeah. No therapy is fascinating. I need to, I have, I need to go back to therapy. I almost kind of like that you, you're not there. I know, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. I also don't, my big problem with therapy, I guess, is I don't want someone checking it on me. Don't hold me accountable. Right. What are you talking about? What are you? Yeah, they're like, oh, I thought you said three weeks ago, you were going to shut the

fuck up. Yeah, exactly. Who are you? No, I've had those moments where I just caught myself, like, I just told, I told my therapist the lie I've been workshopping for my friends. And he's like, that's not what happened. I remember. And I was like, fuck. You know, and I was like, oh yeah, I guess I slipped my mind.

The lie I've been workshopping for my friends. Yeah, the lie I had convinced myself was true. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that actually is the best part of therapy. It's like, you do get a guy who's like, no. You've been lying to yourself over the last month to make yourself feel better about your actions is completely untrue.

Not what happened. Yeah. Yeah, I was here. It was good. It was good to have that. I still haven't fixed my behavior. What was... Are you going to tell us

what the situation was? You're going to keep it close to the best. We're going to tuck that one. Stop. Yeah, sorry, bro. Cowardly. It is cowardly. It is cowardly.

Give me a couple months. Maybe I'll come back. No, the number of times I tell a full story on this show. And then immediately after the episode, after the guest leaves, I turned a chance and go, cut that. It's been growing lately. Yeah. Yeah.

This episode ends up being fucking 22, minutes long. We got all the stuff we can't say. We get all the meat out of there. Yeah, yeah. It's just you being like, 2025 was hard. 2026 might rest. Yeah. Thanks guys. At Stavi baby. Of course. Now, my New Year's resolution every year has been double the bread, double the head. Yeah. And that's just kind of a guiding light where it's like making more money, get sucked off more. Yeah. And maybe that's a problem. I mean, saying it out loud, maybe that has been the problem at the height. That is how I've lived my life. Yeah. And I've mostly done it. to the most part.

Did you double the bread in the head this year, would you say? Doubling has gotten tough. It's been, when you have a couple good years, doubling is a lot. Doubling is a lot. Like, you know that thing where they're like, you want a billion dollars now or a penny times two every day or whatever the fuck?

You know what I'm saying. I understood the spirit. I understood the spirit of the, yeah. It's a thing. It's a thought experiment to show people the power of compounding things, of doubling things. Yeah.

So that's why I'm saying doubling has, maybe I've lost, I probably didn't double this year. Yeah. But more bread, more head. Or more bread, more head. Yeah, maybe just more bread more head is what it needs to be. Yeah.

Or just bread and head in moderation. Wouldn't that be sweet? Yeah, let them get head, Marie Antoinette. Is there anything there you think? There is. Okay. I think for sure. I think for sure.

I found a TikTok account on accident of a girl who her entire account is her like walking around and restate. like classic like moral dilemmas. And it's she's like, she's like, so a train is going down a track. If you do nothing, it'll hit five people. If you switch it, it'll hit one. What are you doing? Sound off in the comments.

And people are in the comments like debating like this age old moral question. Yes, the trolley problem. This is fucking psychotic. Yeah. That's your content. Yeah. And that people are like going for it. Honestly, good for her.

Not, I mean, yeah. She found a nice little niche. It's getting conversation started. Yeah. We're starting philocelic. again in that lady's TikTok comments. We are. The salon, the Parisian salon is not going well.

In the comments. It's not the kind of heightened debate that you imagine originally came out of that problem. Sure, sure, sure. You got to pull the lever, right? Let's talk, let's talk... You want to do a try a problem?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It randomly comes up on this show a lot. So when I do your show, we're talking about, like, what's the perfect size of titty or whatever? Is it hand cupping up, boys? Let's take a call. And then on my shows, we're talking about why you struggle with intimacy

and what we would do in the trolley problem. I would pull, you pull the lever. Sorry to that guy, but of course. Yeah, you pull the lever. You absolutely pull the lever. There's no question that you pull the lever. Yeah. To me, anybody who says don't pull the lever is a psychopath.

If you have a gun, maybe you shoot the guy in the head because it's probably easier to die by gunshot than like being run over by a train. Yeah, I guess. You pull the lever and you shoot the guy head. That's the humane thing to do. Because it's probably less painful to die

that way. You're adding? You're adding a thing that doesn't need to be added. If you had the choice between being run over by a fucking train and getting shot in the head real fast, which would you choose? I think probably run over by the train? Really? Don't you think it would be just as quick?

No, maybe it's no. I think it would hurt a lot. You think it would hurt? Yeah, I think it would hurt. I think it would hurt. I think it would hurt. I think it'd be quick. I don't think so. I think you're being very naive here. You think it's time to shoot. You get... Especially if you're not expecting getting shot in the head? Yeah. If I'm like, all right, man, sorry, I'm going to just fucking pull the thing.

And then real quick, pop. Yeah. As you're bracing yourself to get run over, you just get the sweet relief of a gun to the head. Yeah. Of a bullet to the back of your skull. Well, can I improve your idea? Sure. That you don't say, hey, man, sorry. I think you say to the guy alone on the track, you go, hey, I'm not going to pull the lever. I'm going to let it hit those other people. And he goes, ooh, then you shoot him in the head. And then you pull it. What if you're, like, what if in the excitement of shooting him in the head, you forget to pull lever? Now you shot the guy

And those four people are all right over real quick And shoot all them And you're like sorry guys No time to pull the lever It's better It's better this way Okay interesting Interesting interesting interesting

Yeah I'm glad we got to the bottom of that Have you ever stolen anything? Yes certainly I did a little I did I did a little shoplifting. For years, I would help myself to the hot bar at my grocery store as I was shopping. Oh, yeah. I had a lot of fried catfish on the giant on 33rd in Baltimore. Just would fill up a tin of fried catfish and just snack as I'm shopping, throw it away. Eventually, they got rid of the

trash cans and I had to just hide the thing somewhere. Yeah. I would hide my trash. But that's classic. I would have lunch and dessert. I would take some kind of kind bar or something. And then I shoplifted a couple T-shirts by accident. Like, you know, when you walk out of a store? Like, I was just holding it, and I absentmindedly, like, walked out of a store and nothing buzzed. And I was like, I stole a T-shirt. Am I going back?

You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. So a little bit of that. I only survived Chicago for a number of months by stealing from the Whole Foods Top Bar. Yeah. I just, and it's not even like, oh, I'd like nibble on a bag of grapes while I shopped. It's like, I would walk in, rotissory chicken, walk in, take a whole box of food, fill it as full as I could. Yep.

And then go over to the, uh, I would buy like a fucking protein bar or something that was like three bucks. Put the thing on the thing as like a pre-mixed salad or something. Like I would technically still pay like four bucks. Sure. But it was like $25 worth of hot bar food. Love that. And that's just how I survived for a while. I love that, man.

Also, I would steal from, I stole, uh, I stole, um, a lot of lamps and like bigger furniture items from stores by putting it on the bottom of the cart and then just not checking it out. And only one time did they ever say anything. And you'd be like, oh, it was all tall! Yeah. I was on the bottom.

I forgot. Yeah. But every other time I stole it and got away with that. I love that. I used to love stealing. It's fun to steal. Oh my God, it's a blast. Yeah.

I never stole from a small business. Smart. I never stole from a small business. Yep, yep. I only stole from the big guys. What if it was a real piece of shit small business? I would. I just never met one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never met a piece of shit small business that I also could steal from. Right, right, right, right. Because I'm thinking of, like, Greek, like, carryout, like, the people that would have small restaurants. Yeah. Like, listen, I get we shouldn't,

if you choose between big business, small business, steal from a big business, but some small business owners are pieces of shit, too. Steal. They just, they would be Amazon. They're just too stupid. You know what I mean? Like, they would love to fucking,

to exploit their workers. just don't know how to do it that much. You're stealing from small businesses? No, I don't actually, but I would. I served a Instagram post recently of some small Asian woman standing next to you and going, we love it when Stavi comes in. Oh, hell yeah. That's my, yeah, that's my, that's my good. I was the Vietnamese spot right by my house in Baltimore. Oh, yeah? I'm there a lot. She was, I, then I looked back and she, like, she had posted you a lot. I'm there. Every time I get a bowl of, uh, it, the cost is a picture, uh, a picture that goes on the, Instagram, which is fine.

Shout out to them. I love it. I, you know, I actually have to fight her to pay. She won't let me pay. And now her and my mom are friends. It's really cute. I'm not getting treated like that in Kansas City. No? No, I mean, people were very nice, but you know what the nicest thing someone's done for me in Kansas City? Recently, I was at a bar. I was reading a book at a bar

that I like, and the bartender very clearly was a fan. She didn't say a word. She brought me the drink that I asked for. It was a CBD drink or THD drink that she, like, mixed into like some kind of cocktail, whatever. Yeah. Brought it over. It was delicious. That business is not going to last, by the way. What's that? CBD cocktail's not going to last. No. No, that bar is already

shuttered. That won't work. They're closing soon. They've already started doing theme nights. It's like our business is failing is like screaming out of the place. No, but I love the place and three very drunk girls came in and were bothering me a lot. Like coming over and like touching me and like taking pictures without asking, taking videos of me from across the bar. I hate that. And they try to their next move was they tried sending a bunch of drinks to me. And the bartender, the bartender goes, hey, how about we just let him have a nice night, huh? Yeah.

And, like, turned them off of me. That's awesome. It was one of the coolest and nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Yeah. But I'm not getting free foe. No free fun. I'm not getting... When I go to the fub place, they are straight up kind of mean to me.

Like, I went recently and ordered, I sat at a table. I was reading my book. I was alone. And I ordered at the fub place in my neighborhood that I love. I go, I sit, I order, and I'm sitting at a table inside. right she brings it all over to go she brings it all over to go and I was not there's a bunch of people in there

yeah did they bring you water no I go I go can I get a water in some bowls I'm gonna eat this here and she goes and then like went and got it well I will say probably you're

that's a lot of real estate for one guy it was a two person table stuff okay all right I tip big I know I'm and they're wrong right they're wrong but I do I have also gotten fact like I have gotten that kind of fat discrimination when it's like a tight spot and they're like, that's a four top.

Yeah. There's a different group comes in. That's four mouths to feed. And they do the math. Yeah, they're like, it probably will be close, but I'll take my, you know. Those eight skinny people would not eat as much as I'm going to. Probably not, but they might get cocktails. They will.

You know? Real cocktails. And that's where you make your money. Yeah. But you didn't deserve that. And I think if anything, if the fat man can't be respected at an eatery, right? Where can we be treated like kings? go. Yeah, yeah. Let my people go. DXL, of course. Oh my god. I mean, we've talked about it.

DXL, it's a special place. I love it, man. Do you know what I'm loving lately? What's that? The Gap? They're making good sweaters over there. Really? People are scared to talk about this. Yeah, yeah, and it's about time. The Gap is making good sweaters. You know, I think I missed, um, I, I, I, I was so used to no one having fat sizes. Yeah. That I've just been cloistered at DXL for seven years now. And I've emerged seeing that the one thing about capitalism is like, all right, they're realizing everyone's fat as shit in America. Yeah. So now the gap does have fat boy sweaters. The lands end, you know, you can get a 3x, 4xel at these places.

So I have to dip back out. See what else is out there. You know what I would like? What's that? If you gave me a couple hundred bucks and just let me shop for you. I would love that too. Let me give, let me get you in outfit. You really are the like the diagram of gay and fact and stylish very, it's like you might be the guy. It's not much of us.

It's not many of us. Because I did hire, I did, I hired a gay guy to basically go shopping for me and it changed my life. Really? Yeah, I got a stylist for like a, you know, just they provided a stylist for the, I did Seth Myers and hilariously the, the

focus features was like, yeah, we'll get your style. So I was like, that's so funny. absolutely. All right, yeah, hell yeah. And yeah, it was awesome. He, he just, it was just like a guy who had taste and knew about clothing brands I had never heard of. Yeah.

Told me about, you know, I'm now wearing my jeans higher. Yes. You know? That's one thing. Yes. That's a big, that's been a big change. Getting my fucking pants up here. Put them up there.

Sillette better. Put them up there. Lengthen those legs, baby. Yeah. Does lengthen the legs. Lengthen those legs. I'm feeling very powerful. I want to dress you.

I would love that. For at least one event. Yeah, I would love that. I want to. styled bike. I want to. We should do, we should both,

we should dress each other. Yes. You know what I mean? You're coming in the fucking tracks suit. I'm gonna get you the right track suit for you. I'm gonna get you the right track suit. I would love that. That wouldn't be awesome.

I had a blast doing Seth Myers, by the way. I really like him. He's the man. He's so funny. And it was like, he sets you up. It doesn't feel like a,

you know, like a weird show. Yeah. I was, I've never done any of that. Like, I've talked for thousands of hours, but you just,

we just have never, we skipped all that. shit. Yeah. So it was nice to do that show. And he's very funny. He's very funny and nice and hospitable. I felt you went on, you and I went on right next to each other, like back to back. Like we were on very close. It was the first time I had done a late night show too. And I, watching some clips from your interview, I was like, felt the same way that I felt seeing myself there that I was like, it's kind of funny they have to do this. Totally. Yeah. Absolutely. It's kind of funny they have to have us on. But he actually seems pumped to have comedians on.

I think so. You know what I mean? Like I think there's I don't know, I haven't done any other shows, but it's like he, there was like a glee. I also know what it's like when I do a bunch of fucking podcasts and I'm like, oh, when I just have certain people that I know are just gonna riff, I'm like, we're on autopilot. Easy, baby. Like, it must be so much easier to talk to us than like

somebody on a fucking CW show or whatever. You watch these fucking interviews and you're like, all these late night interviews, the celebrity, the celebrities who weren't very good at being celebrities, there are some celebs that are just born for this shit. Crush it. Absolutely. And then there are celebrities where you're like, they're like, they're like, yes, I'm very excited about the project. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, whoa, this is painful. And then, and they have like a couple vetted things. We're like, my dog loves cookies. And that's like the punchline, you know what I mean?

Like, I was in the airport and someone thought I was Julia Roberts. Of course I'm not. It's like, fucking Jesus Christ, who wrote these stories for you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm ready to go. I got bits, baby. You do. Seth, I'm coming, whenever you want, I'm back. You do have bits. Go in there with bits.

He should have us on there together. That would be great. He should have us on there together. I would love that. My thing is, I don't ever want to go on a late-night show without a gag. I did a little gag for Seth.

I brought him some leftover food as like a bit. Love that. I want to be, I'd like to go on in full costume sometime. Yeah, sure, sure. Every time you see me on a late-night show, I would like it to be like... Meg Staltor's great about that.

Meg Staltors is great at late-night appearances. She's so fucking funny at that. But that's the thing is I think we all, our, I think our goal, whether it's just by riffing or if it's like some silly gag or whatever, our goal as like our generation of comedians needs to be to make this shit fun again. Yeah, yeah. Because it's lost the... Yeah, absolutely. Well, there used to be no podcast, and that was a good... Like, the Johnny Cardin show was good when it was like Bert Reynolds just like...

Or just somebody saying inappropriate shit. You know what I mean? Like, just fucking talking wild shit. Yeah. Or like, clips will come up and it's like... like someone just doing bar jokes. Yeah. It's just like they're just saying

fucked up. It's just so funny that was on TV and it's being a good time. But it's like, yeah, for the next, for the next eight months where late night shows exist, let's make them fun.

The end of the era. Let's make them a good time. Absolutely. What was I thinking of when you were saying that? Going on and doing bar jokes. Oh, well, you know, the Quentin Tarantino thing that he's going after Paul Dano.

Bizar. Bizarre? But guess what? And by the way, I love Paul Dano. I kind of love it. I'm like, let's bring back public beef.

It was exciting. People took sides and I'm on Paul Dano's side but I'm like, I think this is nice and it's fun, this is juicy and good. I agree with you. And people were getting, people that never knew that Quentin Tarantino's a foot freak

or like learning that now. Didn't know that. Who didn't know that? Who didn't know that? Oh, right. Like young people on the internet? Really? And I'm like, this is exciting.

Yes. Everyone's war gets drug into it. It's a bizarre take to. Paul Dano's incredible. He was so good in that movie. He was so good. in that movie. He's good in everything. Yeah. And by the way, like, bothers nobody? Totally. Just like goes and acts and then seems to disappear. Yeah. It kind of just does this thing.

Sopranos legend. We weird guy to pick a fight with. Totally. But it was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you. It was cool. It was cool to have a little beef. Everyone's like, is Daniel Day Lewis going to say something? And he did. He had Paul Dano's back. That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Alec Baldwin, like, made a video. Hell yeah. Do you see that? I didn't. He's like in his car and he's like, love Paul Dano. Out. He felt like he was like doing something massive. I'm like, this is good for the culture. Yeah, I agree with you. Let them in fight.

Messiness is nice. It's fun. Shitting on people is nice. There's like a little too much media training that now because, and I think it's because everyone is on camera, essentially 24-7, you can't stay media trained that. Yeah. The cracks are going to show.

It's just hard watching like very talented actors that have worked for generations at this. point being like, I'm very excited to do the project with Kim Kardashian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, tell the truth. Yeah, yeah. You hate that you have to act with her. You hate it. We hate watching it. Yeah. None of us can escape it. It's where we are, but come on. I know. I know. Tell us you hate it. You hate it. Just, yeah, be like, it was a paycheck. It's fucking sucks. Yeah. She doesn't, it can't even speak to her. She has to go to chat GPT to respond to you whenever you. When you ask her, hey, Kim, how was your day? She asks her AI assistant

before addressing you. I did my thing. I tried to act the role. she was kind of just there on set. It was very bizarre. That's what I would like to hear. Yeah. She's not very good. Do you think Timothy Shalmay, do you think he escapes the Kardashian curse?

Because it's pretty, like, I don't like to, you know, but it's like Lamar Odom, Kanye, it really is like an insane thing where does anyone come out of dating a Kardashian unscathed? Timmy's our strongest soldier. He might be the guy who gets through it. He might be the one who gets through it.

But it is very interesting. I don't know. Marty Supreme was awesome, by the way. I haven't seen it yet. It's so fucking good. I love Timothy Chalemay, though. He's incredible. I'm not shitting on him.

I'm literally saying, is he the chosen one? Yeah. Because like, Kanye, now it's insane. Because like Kanye, now it's insane, but it's like Kanye was so, it was like, whoa. It was like he's,

he felt at the time like, oh, maybe Kanye will get through it because he was before going insane. Yeah. Just the greatest, you know, rapper of a generation, arguably. Yeah. Timmy is now like the fucking

he's the man he's so good it was so good at Marty Supreme he's been so good at all the shit he's doing but it's like can he survive it? Is the swag is the white boy swag strong enough? I don't know. I hope so too. I hope so because I love his work.

Me too. I want him to talk a little less about how much he wants to win awards that part turns me off but I like how earnest he is about wanting to be great at what he does. Yes. I think that's fucking cool.

I think so too. I'm liking that and he's great at it and yeah Marty Supreme was so funny. I need to see it. I haven't seen it yet. Is it in theaters already? I think it's coming out this week.

Yeah. I went to a little advanced screening. Do you go to a lot of... I got invited to that, but I don't go to those. Do you like going to those? Are they fun? I do. I mean, I just wanted to see that movie so fucking bad

that I was like, I'll see it. I need to see it as quickly as possible. Yeah. It just depends on the... Now, Avatar Advanced Screening, I will not go to. I will see that on the biggest screen possible. Yeah. I will see that on mushrooms.

I don't want to be around colleagues. I want to be 70 millimeter IMAX fucking like this. Yeah. Pupils this fucking big. I want to be like the cartoon of what they say the future's going to be like. Yeah, I want to be that fat guy who's hooked up to like a Ruby. I want to be Wally.

Yeah, I want to be a Wally fat guy watching Avatar on the biggest screen man has ever invented. I want that. I don't want to be in a little screening room. But if it's, if it's like, if it's like a good ass movie that I've just been dying to see, I'll see it immediately.

Yeah. It was fucking. Yeah, it was so good. I realized something really dangerous the other day. Hit me with it. At my apartment, which is that,

um, I didn't do this on purpose. Mm-hmm. Okay. You have to, you have to believe me. Okay, okay, okay. But I was taking a shit.

Mm-hmm. And I realized that if I... You can see your TV. Yeah. Yeah. That I can see the toilet in the living room if I leave the door open. And I was like, this has changed. Because what I was doing is playing Xbox.

And I was like... I have to take a shit. And I was like... Shitting and playing Xbox. That's awesome, dude. Yeah. I was on live. You can't lose your ranked.

You're ranked match. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I've never walked into a podcast with you more comfortable than I did today, knowing that neither of us is going to be talking shit about football. True. It was so beautiful. Yeah.

I was like, I'm escaping that today. I know, you know how much it hurts me to, like, not have been able to celebrate the Chiefs being eliminated from the playoffs? Yeah, you can't. Because I got even more fucking owned. You guys are ass, yeah. We suck so bad. So do we. We, I think we have the exact same record right now.

It's humiliating. It kills me. But anyway, you're shitting playing Expo. Let's get to what's important. I was playing mad. I can't, you can't, you can't, I already had taken my time out. You don't get a lot of time out when you're playing some lives. Right, right, right.

So I took the controller. I'm taking the shit. The TVs, you know, it's kind of far away. Yeah. It's not a small place. Not a small place. You're doing well. But I'm playing on the toilet.

Yeah. And yeah, I just realized like, this is really good for me. Yeah. Well, this is, you're taking me back to an era before phones, before laptops. I had, as a youth, are my TV, the TV that I would hang out and was in the kitchen, the basement. Yeah. And we had a mirror on our bathroom.

And I could rig it up just right to get them. I mean, I would watch TV while shitting through the mirror. So I was just like, I had to get it just right. Nothing could be obstructing the view. It was pretty far away. Yeah. But I, you're taking, you know, and then dude, the, the phones, you know, these, these kids, these whippersnappers.

Yeah. They don't know about taking your hot ass huge laptop, burning your thighs because you're shitting and fucking playing bloons tower defense or whatever the fuck you're doing. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, we've seen it all. They don't know about jerking off on a desktop. No. Putting your foot on the door because there's no lock.

And your grandma's vacuuming in the next room? Moving a mouse. And you have the volume on so low. You're like putting your ear to the computer, fucking stroking while your foot's on the door. It was an escape room. It was crazy. It was crazy.

You were doing an escape room. They really don't know. It is very fun. I was thinking about this, how pathetic it's gotten to like the back in my day stories. You know what I mean? Where it's like, this is the kind of stuff. I'm like,

you kids don't know. And then I was thinking about like how it used to be when a young, like when a young hot woman would date an older accomplished man, it was like a professor, a lawyer, like a captain of industry, someone she could learn something from. And like I'm dating women younger than me.

And I'm like, yeah, George Clooney was actually Batman. I don't know if you knew that. Like that's what I'm teaching her about. I'm like, yeah, it was actually pretty good. Everyone says it sucks, but it's a pretty campy movie.

You watch it for fun these days. Like that's the knowledge. That's the knowledge I have to give They're getting nothing There's no leg up in anything It's just you're not learning anything They used to get taught like Latin or something They're getting nothing for you

He would like teach her how to like taste wine or something Yeah yeah yeah you're not getting that here You're dating a 27 year old You're watching Reno 911 I'm like this is where the new boots goof and meme came from So you've seen this picture before It's a still from a larger piece So yeah, that picture you love

That moves in your phone It's from a TV show It's good We used to have TV shows We used to have TV shows Yeah Yep, yeah So, but you know, I'm okay with that

Now there's only one entertainment company And it's called The Company It's called yeah yeah But we used to have many of them And they made different kinds of things It was awesome It was awesome Yeah what do you think of the Netflix

HBO deal What do you like it? Tough stuff I mean I guess it's better than Our options are theaters go extinct or an evil Zionist family owns every media

company? And it's like I guess theaters go extinct. I'm not happy about it. And then I'm hoping like, you know, I'm hoping maybe through, you know, I'm a Netflix guy. Ted Sarandos is a Greek man. I hope I can maybe, I'm trying to get into, there's a Greek Hollywood Illuminati. People don't know this.

I know that. It's very small. Yeah. Right? Stamos is pretty much the king. Yeah. I'm trying through Stamos to get in... You, Stamos, Neavard Marconaldos. And there's, you know, people in the shadows that you don't know about. And I, like,

I, I, I'm hoping, get me in Greek Illuminati. Let me talk to Ted. Let me say, Ted. Let's get these theaters going, baby. Yeah. Netflix. Because I really actually do think Netflix could, they, like, if they had some kind of movie pass thing, where it's like, you go to a Netflix

theater and you see fucking movies, you be, it's part of your subscription. Yeah. Theaters are fucking awesome. And I also think I also think all these classic movies are classic because people remember them from theaters Yeah Like there's just

You will be a stronger media company If you keep shit in theaters Because a movie that was The people remember watching there They will cherish it so much longer Than even a really good movie they see on streaming So I'm hopeful I hope they keep the brands kind of separate

Because I do think HBO Like a good HBO show Is still the one like little fleeting part of monoculture we might get. Yeah. Because it's like every week people are fucking tuning. Like when Game of Thrones was huge, when it's like, you know, and like that was kind of, my hope was like,

if I had any aspirations of wanting to do a show, I was like, it would be fucking cool to do like just a show that people watch and like get hooked on. So who knows? I hope we figure it out. I hope we keep movies in theaters, but it's kind of scary. It is, you know.

It's an awesome timeline that the choices are either we never go to a movie together with strangers again or every movie is about the beautiful partnership between Israel and the United States. It's like, okay. Absolutely. So these are the choices. Barry Weiss talking to you in the camera and be like, here are the approved words

for this week. Fucking dumb bitch, dude. It's so crazy how they just gave that lady the fucking... They just gave her CBS. They gave her the news. Just some fucking idiot. Yeah, it's crazy, dude. It's really... It's fucking wild. But yeah, if those are my options, I'm fucking, you know, I'm a Netflix company man, we'll go watch tires, we got specials on there, all that stuff. And I just-

It is objectively funny, though, that during the strikes, Netflix was like, the biggest fighter of it. They're like, we have no money to give you guys. And then when it's time to buy HBO 30 billion above valuation, they're like, time to get in the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do love that. That's truly me. Yeah. That's me when it's time to pay my gym membership or eat out 17 times a week. Yeah, Netflix is your rich friend that asks you for a Venmo instantly They're not picking

It's like, come on man, you can't get the enchiladas You're doing good The wine was for the table and you were at the table Hit my Venmo I know And look, honestly what would be great Is if we fucking actually had competition And there was separate studios

And who knows, maybe Like this, everything kind of feels cyclical Because this is how media used to There was a Supreme Court case that broke up, you know, the studios. And then what happened to the set? Like, I kind of think what we're in for, I'm hoping, and maybe, hopefully we can be a part of it is like,

this happened. And then there was like real, like, real indie cinema. And I think that's the answer. Indie revival. I really think I truly invest the answer because I don't even want, like, I like to make comedies. I don't need, you know, some people, it's different, right? If you want to make a big sweeping epic, whatever,

you probably need financing that's hundreds of millions of dollars. I could make a fuck, you know, I made a move for $750,000. If you gave me $5 million, I would be happy to do that. And I think, you know, like, one of my favorite movies with you was Sorry Baby, right? That's like just somebody who had a vision who it did. I don't know how much it cost, but it probably wasn't that much. It was like one local, pretty much a couple locations. And it was really like a tour driven, right?

Eva Victor. If you haven't seen it, go see it. They did an incredible job. Like, truly like an ins- because, like, I'm trying to make movies. It's like, it was also cool because Ava was just, it was someone who was on the internet kind of popped off like front, it was cool to see somebody else

get out of the internet trenches and make a really good movie. Like, look, my movie is fine. Go see it. It's on Hulu right now. But that was like, uh, they directed it. It's an art piece. Wrote it, starred in it. And it's like, shit like that's like, yeah, even like your movie that just, you know, Trash Mountain, like Let's Start a Colt was like just a

trial of making a movie. But I do think we're hopefully in for people just kind of making smaller movies to get their voices out there and that like, yeah, our fans hopefully will support it and start like a little like sort of like that can be the like Tinder to just like make it blow up and more people to see it. Also our fans have you have to if you're if you're somebody who likes it not even just you and I yeah but like if you're somebody who wants to see an indie film revival if you're somebody who wants to see projects that are actually good getting made you have got to

like you have to go see it, you have to spend money on it. You have to also talk about it. You have to make TikToks. For sure. You have to fucking, you have to fucking do like a fucking viral dance trend for it or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you have to like, if you want us to be able to do this shit,

like when Trash Mountain comes out, I'm going to be more annoying than I've ever been. Yeah. About asking people, please fucking go see this in theaters. Yeah, right away. Please post about this if it gets to go to theaters. Yeah. Like, there has to be, we're going to do our part to try and make it happen. But if you want to see something other than just like,

14 celebrities each getting paid $20 million to do a movie that goes straight to Amazon Prime you're gonna have to like get in the trenches with us a little bit but that is kind of I will say it's also a little exciting to me because it's like who cares like the way I look at is that every part of my life shouldn't have like I everything has been like shouldn't have happened everything's I've been lucky to get all this shit everything's been hard so it's like fuck it let's make getting movies hard I don't give a fuck

like we'll make it we'll figure it out we'll do something that's even if I don't get to do anything but like small movies that I have to pay for myself. It's like, that's fine. I don't need anything. What I want to do is make stuff. And so I think, I kind of just think we're almost like reverting back to films like,

like media is kind of reverting back to like the 20s or some shit or like the, or in other ways the 70s where it was like the first wave of like, you know, kind of like weird indie film, whatever. But I'm happy to like, I also think there's a world where you can tour movies, like go and see, do it like. from city to city and like trying

and get the word out that way. I've been working on trying to figure this out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to talk about it because I do, we discovered some stuff on Let's Start a cult that I was like, oh, the next one I've really, I really know how this could work. But it's all, I mean,

at the end of the day, it sucks that all the money is going to these huge mega conglomerates, but it's like that almost makes it exciting for artists to be like, we'll actually show you that we can beat you by just actually making good stuff. And so it kind of gives, it actually gives me a little purpose to not be the, I started talking about what a husk, how I feel like I'm barely a man. But it's like this, I'm like, fuck yeah, let me make a movie of dick jokes so stupid that it defeats a trillion dollar corporation.

That's cool to me. That's like a cool way to like look at making art. It's nice to have an adversary that's trying to suck, you know, artistry out of what we do. So I'm cool either way. I think we'll be fine. I'm so indie film revival, indie TV revival, I'm so ready for it. And also the nice thing is like, I wish that more people who made money doing shit like this. One of the issues right now is that so many internet people who make a good living doing internet stuff,

they don't have any aspirations outside of it. They just want to pay their bills. I'm trying to get more of those people interested in making art because I'm like, we're the people who can actually do it because our bills are paid. Like, let's go, like, fucking make. let's all pitch in money and go make a movie that we believe in instead of just doing another brand deal

or whatever do those two but I'm like let's make it happen. That's how I look at is like this is the like the way to pay for like cooler shit. And I love doing like I've gotten a place where I love doing the podcast and but it's yeah we're somehow in America

podcasting is the only industry that makes money. I don't know how that happened. It's the only one. It's insane. It's like the most profitable thing. Like I really feel like my artistic career, I feel like my, I feel like my podcast, nepo baby,

where it's like, I get to do like whatever I want because my podcast pays for everything. You know what I'm? Like my podcast is my rich husband. You know what I mean? And I get to, and like making movie,

making indie movies or even my stand-up tour, even like people, now people know me as a stand-up, but it's like at first, people knew me from a podcast and I had to trick them into like stand-up. And so it's like, yeah, I look at it that way

where it's like, yeah, be your own fucking nepo baby. like make some, even if it fucking sucks. Art is for, it's about the act of creation. It's like, at least do something interesting. So true is my, my benefactor. Yeah, absolutely.

It's my like, you know how old, rich people used to pay painters to just paint all day long? So True is paying me to go and like make an indie film and roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the relationship. I love that, yeah. You're changing as So True's diapers. Yes. You know, you're feeding it apples.

I kiss it on the forehead. I tell it it's so handsome. You're so handsome. So true. Oh, your personality is what brings me here. By the way, can I go shopping? I might want to make a movie. Wouldn't that be sexy?

Can I rent some red cameras, please, so true? I put on some little lingerie. Ask so true if I can go on tour. Speaking of, Yes. Stavi, what's so true to you today? Ooh, I don't know why I didn't see this coming. You fucker.

I've done the show. Fucker. I was like, this is this your third time on the show, I think? Second. Yeah. So I'm like, I've only done it once.

I don't remember. This is my first time. What is so true to me? I guess, despite life being a nightmare. And you having to face endless tragedies. Every time you get over one of those, you're stronger.

And it makes the beautiful stuff in life that much more. Enduring all the dog shit, all the beautiful things that much better. Like coming here to your pals, a new studio, and talking about how empty life is, but that you do want to make indie movies, I guess. You know? It's a really good, so true, and I can't stress enough that I still don't know

what's going on with you. I love you to death. It's good because it's very bite-sized. It made sense. Written out. It won't look like the ramblings of an insane man, that's for sure. I thought you're going to say speaking of,

because you're like, can I go on tour? I should plug my tour, actually, because I do have a... Of course you should plug your tour. I have a ton of... I have a ton of dates. I'm going to shoot a special at the end of April. Go to stavi. dbiz. I don't know the dates, but Radio City. That's a big one in March. I'm going to be in Radio City. I'm going to be in Florida.

I'm going to be in Ohio. I'm going to be in... Fuck, I should have prepared for this. You got anything, Chan? You got something for me, Chance? I love, by the way, that this... None of this is sounding like taking... a break. I didn't say I was taking a break till July. I want you to take a break. Tampa, yeah, scroll down for me, baby boy. Red Bank, Philly, Burlington, Vermont. I think, yeah, Buffalo after that. Uh, yeah. Ohio, Lexington, Kentucky, Des Moines, Springfield, Missouri, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Columbus, Minnesota, uh, Rockford, Illinois, Mississippi. I didn't know

about that. Beluxie, Mississippi, Radio City. Yeah, the old Biloxi Mississippi Radio City routing. Shout out to Stavi's touring agent. Who is killing it. Orlando, Jacksonville, Atlanta,

West Virginia, Fort Wayne. Yeah, I'm all over the place. Milwaukee, Rochester, and then we're going to film the special, we're working on where we're going to film the special, but I'm very excited for that too. So, yeah, please come see me and listen to Stavvy's world, all that good stuff. All that good stuff. And before you go, You know you got to play the game.

Oh, shit. You got to play true false. Let's do it. I haven't done it last time. Yeah, let's go. You got to play true false. All right. I'm going to read you 15 statements.

You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said is true or false. Stavi, if you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 U.S. dollars. Fuck yes, dude. You ready? Mm-hmm. Tab soda was invented by the Mormon Church. False. False.

False. The dog from Airbud is still alive. False. False. False. Seth McFarland was a writer for Johnny Bravo. True. True.

True. Dion Sanders were number 36 for the Ravens. 37, false. Yeah, false. The Michelin Man's real name is Curtis. False. False. Bibbendum. Bats are blind. False. False. They can see and use that collocation. Hell yeah. The official language of Brazil is Spanish.

False. False. It's Portuguese. Hypnos is the ancient Greek god of sleep. True. True. Some of these are gimmies this week. I mean, this is awesome. These are great. Texas is the largest U.S. state by landmass. False Alaska. False. It's Alaska. John Candy was 511. False.

He was 6-2. Dude, if you're the first guest, if you're the first guest to game. You fucking, you know what you're doing. Argentina won the FIFA World Cup in 2022. There was no World Cup in 22. False. It's true.

Fuck! I thought it was 24. Maybe the most legendary run we've had, though, on the show. Fuck! American Eagle was founded in 1997. I knew they won, too. I just didn't know. I thought you were trying to trick me with 22. Fuck you.

When was it? What you're saying? American Eagle was founded in 1997. False. False. 1974. Gerald Ford was a Republican. True. True. A group of bears is called a sleuth. False. True. Baltimore's Polytechnic Institute's fight song is Polly Fight Song. This is my fucking high school. You piece of shit.

False. Fuck. 12? 12. 10 in a row. Dude, I got really... I think if you were the first guest to get all 15, we have to end the show. Yeah. It just feels...

I could have gotten Argentina. I think there was no chance I would have got... And I might have... I was 50-50 on Polly... I was sure Bears was not sleuth. Yeah. So I would have gotten that wrong. Thank you.

That's my boy. Appreciate it. Is there anything else you want to plug stuff? Just come see me on tour. You know, I think that's pretty much it. Let's start a cold as... I mean, watch Bagonia if you haven't. But yeah, that's it.

I love it. for doing it, too. Thank you, dude. Always a pleasure. This is the best. Love you, bye. Bye. See ya.