So True with Caleb Hearon - Taylor Ortega Returns

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

Welcome! This week is the return of the hilarious Taylor Ortega! Taylor and Caleb talk bad boys, good boys, a certain docuseries, Taylor’s behavior at Caleb’s birthday party, Jane Goodall, and much more! Watch Taylor in the new show Big Mistakes now streaming on Netflix! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Taylor! @taylortega Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Find exactly what you’re booking for at Booking.com. Book today on the site or in the app. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/SOTRUE Try Domino's Parmesan Stuffed Crust Pizza today at https://dominos.com So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wave. You be you. Okay. And you be Dan. I'll be Dan. And you tell me that you're pregnant. Oh my God. I'm so excited for season two.

I have some more big news for you. Okay. I'm pregnant. Wow. Taller. Okay. Hey. Tyler.

It's not how you say it. Tyler. We can try it. There you go. I don't really nicknames person. Hey, girl. Hey, thanks. Having me back. Hey, it's so nice to have you.

I look a little different this time. Well, you've switched up on everybody. You got big and famous and you switched up on everybody. I know. This is the official week of me switching up. I haven't heard from you. I've switched up in like, it's been like two days and you have not heard for me. You've been avoiding me.

I know. Well, yeah. And then when you got here this morning, I said, hey girl, it's so good to see you. I love that we've been friends for so long. And you said, I'm sorry, remind me your name? Yeah. I'm going to call you fat gay guy until I remember. That's what I've always called you to be fair.

Yeah, that is fair. That's always been our thing, first of all. Oh, hold on, that gay guy's calling. Hello? I go, hey gorgeous. Hey, gorgeous. I'm sorry that I slid into your DMs and sexually harassed you the other day,

but I just found out about your gorgeous legs. Did you have sexually harassed me the other day? Because you had your legs out on your story because you're wearing your little short shorts and you were posting it to, I think, receive that kind of attention, but as a woman, I understand that sometimes it's like I'm posting a sexy pic

for me, not for you to be thirsty in my DMs. Yeah. I guess what I would say is, obviously, you're a close personal friend. You're a member of the family. Yeah. In any way, so you can always talk about my body in any way you want to,

positive negative or otherwise. Oh, I didn't know if I could do negative. You can go negative. I'll try. The issue with me posting, yeah, look, I have incredible strong legs. I have this beautiful face. I'm learning I have a leg thing.

You have a leg thing? I think I have a leg thing. You totally do. I've heard you talk about Cobb's legs and it gets very quick. Cobb has the most beautiful legs. I can't help it. I love when men have like strong, muscular, gorgeous legs.

I'm really strong. People don't like to talk about it. You are really strong. One of our friends said one time that you flipped her over a couch and it made her kind of horny. Yeah. I hated that. I hated that. But the issue is when I post things where I look sexy, okay, when I'm specifically posting

to be like, now in that moment I was actually posting because I was raising money for the transgender community. Right. Right. So if we could just insert some applause. The things I do for this community, I go out of my way. Yes. But I was posting leg to show how sexy I am and guess what happens to me every time?

Lesbians only. Lesbians only. I know. I know. Lesbians. Get out of my DMs. I know. I know. They're gumbing up the worst. I know.

But you kind of are like a lesbian hall pass vibe. I want to cry. Do you know how many fucking screaming, barking, horny lesbians I have to filter through to find one eligible twink? I don't know what it is. Like I don't know like, because we've also gotten so down the rabbit hole of like, do you dress like a lesbian does a lesbian dress like you where is the root of you know what is it yeah we can't it would take us too long to trace it back and what's the point

I think we've figured it out but yeah and it's like you're you always have them in tow I know I hang out with too many of them I look I love the lesbian community I've I've gotten in trouble in the past for speaking on them sorry this is the only people I hang out with I'm gonna have to speak on them yeah yeah they're always thirsting over me and it's like they're in my DM's barking and I need the gay men the gay men are in there I just they're in there They're being fucking overrun by these lesbians. Do you think that they're being really respectful or something?

The gay guys? Yeah. No. They're disgusting animals and I want to have sex with them. Yeah. But the lesbians are being even more disgusting. And the lesbians are putting it in this way that's like, oh my God, I love your legs. Like, please, can I have your sperm for my partner?

Okay, I didn't ask that, but I might at one point. You mean it? Yeah. Oh, my God. Would you consider my sperm? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Of course.

Yeah. Yes. Seller. You're gorgeous. You're successful. Your baby pictures are loco. I want to give you my sperm. I mean,

like in a totally medical, clinical way. Fine. Are you going to have kids? I think about it. It's something I don't want to do until my 40s. Which is a little bit sooner

than people might realize. Which is God knows how many years from now, by the way. It's soon, the soon side. But I mean, deep in there. You know what I mean? I just think having kids

for your 40s. And I think, but I am starting to, like my friendship circle, like there are friends in my life where the whole crew has babies and that's really insane. And I go,

but we're so young. I think you'd be an incredible and complicated mother. Uh-huh. Well, yeah, well, and I would be. I think I'd be, yeah, we,

Cob and I joke a lot that, like, I'm actually the father. Right. You know, um, because Cobb's a gentle Pisces. And, And you're an Italian disciplinary.

And I'm an Italian Gemini. Which my mom was and Klob's mom was. Like, Gemini moms are real and they're true and they're out there. What is my mom if she was born on June 6th? That's a gentleman. No way. Oh my God. Are we learning something?

Gemini mom, though, Gemini mom, I mean, that makes so much sense. But Gemini I'm a quarry a son, strong bond. Two air signs. Wow. Yes. I do like her. Yes. You both have an analytical mind.

Yeah. That works. And probably some really good. similar like emotional rhythms. Like I think if you had a really, really like too soft of a mommy, it might be like, I don't really, I can't do this right now. Yeah. I don't have this for you.

Are you in your mom in sync like that? Well, we're born a day apart. Our birthdays are not born a day apart. Sorry. Our birthdays are a day apart. Yeah. Which is, so we're very similar, I would say. Like sometimes too similar.

But other times I go, people tell me we're the exact same. So I look into my future. I say, okay, successful woman, hopefully long life. Italians live a nice long time. Oh, you're going to live a very long. You know, but then she also gets oversimulated and is like sitting in the corner of a party on her iPad. And I go, I could see that for me too. Yeah.

I could see that for me too. That's not you. Some, it's not me when it's, I'm with friends. I'll tell you what's you. But at my birthday party two years ago when you were being freak nasty making out on top of the pizzas. I was making out on top of the pizzas. and we were also blocking all of the joints. So people had to keep like sneak, like getting behind us.

But it's like, they're like, oh, and we like wouldn't stop. It was really disgusting. I've apologized individually to so many people for that. Well, that year my birthday party was about lesbians and the transgender community. Yes. And never again. That was that year. And never again.

Well, we don't know. We'll see what's needed. This year. It randomly sort of totally out of my control, unfortunately, was about gay guys. Yeah. I never wanted this year to be about gay guys. I have no idea how it happened. You were just saying you wanted to hear more from them.

I want to hear from them in private and have sex with them. I don't want them to be publicly at my birthday party making out with other gay guys. That is so fucked up. But. Yeah. I liked when the other lesbians were making out at your birthday party last year. I loved that. Yeah.

When all the George Washington's were making out. Yeah. It was like it was a group of lesbians dressed like George Washington, sexy George Washington. Okay, that's all you have to know. But it was like, it was a thrill to it. It's like for us, it was like someone would run over and be like, the George Washington's are kissing. and then everyone would like go see. It was lovely.

It was lovely. It was really lovely. What do you think you will be best at as a parent and worst at? I will be worse at trying to control the situation. I already know that. How do you mean? Well, it's like kids are their own people. My dad has explained this to me a million times

that you can make all the plans you want to. You can think these kids are going to be a mix of the two of us, but it's not. It's like an alien that gets beamed down into your mom's belly. and comes out with a fully formed individual personality. And you're kind of like, where did you learn that? What are you talking about? And so that is tough,

is like remembering that it's like, I have so much in common with this person. They walk like me. They talk like me. They eat like me. But they're from another planet. And I can't control them. And I can't keep them safe.

That scares the shit on me too. Mom's always like waking up at 3 a.m. wandering the halls of the house because they have this unsettled sort of like heart outside their body experience where they, they can't, they can't, she can't keep me from doing something dangerous or, or risky or, she can do is leave that phone on the nightstand. And they do. They got that phone on. They have it on, sound on. Yeah, they're ready. Notifications forwarded to iPad on. Okay, the iPad. My mom, do you, your mom not on the iPad? No. Oh, my mom loves the iPad. I thought it was like a boomer thing.

No, she's on, well, how old is your mom? My mom is older. She just, sorry, wiser. Sorry, mature. She's turned 70. Yeah, she's officially 70. But you would never know. I don't want to flex on you and your mom. Yeah. This is obviously. Oh yeah. Your mom's like sneaky young, right? My mom's 52. That is crazy. I don't, how old was I when my mom was 52? So she's actually don't say. She's playing Roblox and stuff. We don't need people to like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's 20 years away from even she's vaping playing Roblox. Your mom's vaping? No, no, no, no, no, no. We should get her one. She did.

She has gotten into weed suckers, though. Okay, my mom did try edibles. Yeah, but she's like, doesn't like to be, my mom is like not a substance girl. No? Yes. She likes to be alert and engaged. Yeah. What do you think you didn't say what you'd be best at, which is interesting.

What would I be best at? Honestly, I think the thing that all Gemini moms are the best at is kind of like being a kid. Yeah. Like thinking how a kid thinks, being kind of fun, being kind of silly. Like my parents are very strict. my mom has a very silly side and she is genuinely funny. Yeah. And so I think you can kind of like I, when I'm around babies and when I'm around kids,

I am a child. And I think they appreciate that. They like that. They like that. And you have to be honest about it because they don't like when it's put on. Yeah. Some people are never kids. That's true.

You know. Yeah, I was going to say. It's in the eyes. It's been in the eyes forever. Terror. You know what I mean? But that's why we'd be so good if you think about it because we need that. We need your sort of like you're on one of your later lines.

in the cycle of reincarnation where I'm on like probably my third. You think you're on your third? I'm definitely on a newer one, yes. Yeah. I can tell when I interact with like older souls that I go, I don't have whatever that is. Yeah. I have way more trial and error in my life,

way less certainty. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That makes sense to me. And people always think I'm younger than I am and I, it's that. It's that. They're picking up on that.

I think it's your skin. Thank you. You're welcome. You fished and you caught one baby. You throw that line out with me. You're going to catch one. My mom's 70. She doesn't have a single forehead wrinkle. Hello. Hello.

I like that. Her forehead's only about this big, Italian, low hairline, but... You have a small forehead. I do. I've only just noticed. Do you know that I was born without one? I started at the eyebrows. Went fully back.

Pardon? Like my hairline? Let me explain it to you. I beg your pardon. Let me explain it to you. Yeah. I had a hairline that started, so no eyebrows, just eyes. And then boom, we're going to start the hairline here.

Yeah. Then it's going to go around the head. Right. My mom was born, hair all over the face and forehead. What? Fully covered in hair. What's going? Are you serious?

Yes. What happened? You just grew into it? I think that's just like a Mediterranean thing. Like I just think that that's... Yeah. I don't mean to be insensitive. It all fell out.

Oh, it fell out. It all fell out. But it still grew back from a lot. When it all falls out. Clip that. Yeah. Because we ate a little bit on that one. Can we afford that?

Should we? Yeah, no, I think about this a lot. Should we start at the end? Are you paying attention? Why don't to sit so close? It's on her phone. Wait. Tova, be on your phone for me.

I always wonder and I'm so surprised that she hasn't pitched this because at some point we should do like our song sung blue, whatever that is. Like we do need to be. Dibs on Kate Hudson. It when, yeah. Oh, okay.

I get to play the girl. It's the only way for us to reinvent this form. If I play the boy and you play the girl, it's like, okay, I'm gonna fucking fall asleep. We've seen this a million times. Yeah. If you play the boy. And I play the girl, Portlandia style.

And I'm a Nelto. I can't know. I don't know what I am. I don't know what I am. I think you could get you. I'll go high for the movie. Yeah. What's it called?

What's the movie about? Do you think that we could be like hard scrabble folk singers or would it have to be like pop music? Pop music could be really fun. Like in what's the movie with Lady Gaga? It has to be pop. Bradley Cooper. Yes. Stars born.

Stars born when she does her alley era in that. only remember the pop star's name, not any of the rest of the movie. But that, but a whole movie about that era. Like when we go, when we go pop. I think we do really good with pop. We would do so good with pop. And really fun outfits, fun choreo. The choreo is going to be hard, but we could do it.

I just came up with the movie. What is it? Are you ready? Oh, God, you're so fat. Yes. We're a pop duo. Yeah. Okay.

We started out. Rare. We had humble beginnings. We are legitimately good musicians. And you're saying like we weren't put together by a producer. We are like, no, we're a duo that we chose. And then they, the machine gets a hold of us and they're like, you have to lip sync. It's the only way everyone does it.

We do it. Scandal. We have a milly-vanilly style controversy. Blame it on the rain and I will. Then everything falls apart, gets taken from us. We blame each other. We blame each other. We fall out.

We fall out. We go apart. And we're doing like one of us quits music. The other one starts doing like the music they've always wanted to make, but it's like too weird for consumption. Yeah. And it's a darkest night moment where we're separate. The music is bad. the music is non-existent, we come back together

and we decide to do it our way. Everyone says it won't work. And guess what? It works. It does. And then we save the best song for that. But then we also like come back with our hit. Yeah.

And people are crying. Oh, and I already know the songwriters we're going to work with. Really? Oh my gosh. Yeah. We're getting Justin Tranter involved immediately. Yes, we have to. We have to.

We're getting so many people involved. It's going to be really, really good. And I do think it's like it's going to chart. I think it's going to chart. And I think that Hollywood is ready. I think that they've been ready. And I think if anything, we're just so busy right now that we can't pay it the mind that it needs to be paid.

But when the time is right, we have to make it a priority. Yeah. Sometimes you have to make space for something like that. You and I are both in this moment career-wise sort of stepping out of our big red clown shoes. I know we are. And into our little bitons. I know. I know.

I know. It's really hard to stay in your big red clown shoes. Well, we've got a big red clown shoe on one foot in the shadows. Yes. Yeah, we'll never take it off. Like, what is so funny is I've started doing, like, improv again, which is, like, crazy, kind of crazy timing, because the clown tree doesn't get bigger or redder than that.

Yeah, that's the biggest reddest clown choo. Yeah, that's the biggest form of surrender you can possibly. The movie's called Big Red Clownshoot, by the way. Oh, I love that. I love, yeah, and that doesn't have to tie back to anything in the film itself. No. We are, how do you feel, like, do you feel sad, or do you feel like, no, I was always meant to do this?

About my career. No, about stepping out of your big red clown shoes. Like, is there any part of you that's like... I don't know that I actually am. I think I'll always wear the big red clown shoe by virtue of being like a fat gay guy. I don't know if that's true. I think you're going to step into like chic fashion girl very soon.

Like you're going to have... I hope. You're going to have a perfume campaign soon and I'm going to have to like be supportive. Thank you. Even though I'm kind of like, why aren't they letting her be silly? I'm going to be a little mad because they're going to make you be like brooding in it. Right.

And I'm going to be like... I'm working on that. I'm going to share it and be like so proud of my girl and I am. But then I'm also going to be like, why aren't they letting her be silly? They're wasting how silly she is. And you're going to be like, you know. Yeah, I'm going to be like, let her be silly. I know.

Well, we're clipping her wings. Cobb always does say that it's like, clipping her clown shoes. Cough always does say that like my, my, the way that I look sometimes is like a bit of a prank. It doesn't really match like the person. You can't sell. Like you, I can't be my full true self if I'm trying to sell a perfume. They can't, yeah, right. It's time to.

You're going to have to be so somber. I can't. I can't be saying what I'm thinking. No. If they saw you be as silly as you really are. If they saw the clown shoes, if they really saw your clown shoes. I know. Girl, if they really saw your clown shoes, they would run.

I know. I know. And that's why the clown shoes don't exist. I'm like every other woman who is just relatable enough, but ultimately you'll never really know her. You know, Jennifer Lawrence had to take a big break from being in the spotlight because she let her clown shoes get too visible. I know, but back then it was sort of like they were making them I do you feel like they were making the girls

have one clown shoe under the gown. Remember they were like there would be a peak of the clown shoe, a peak of the clown shoe a peak of the Ronald McDonald on because they were making those girls fall all over the place They always had to have a red nose in the purse They were like borderline tripping them

up the Oscar stairs they said you want this crawl for it Keep a bunch of scarves up your sleeve bitch They were not buying. Never. Yeah. And they had to talk about like Taco Bell or whatever. I know.

I had to be like in an interview they had to be like, God, I wish I had a chalupa right now. I do wish I had it. I do love Taco Bar. I have to. I almost probably have to talk about it less. You had their new chicken nuggets? Yeah, I love their nuggets. Their nuggets are actually incredible.

And I'm dipping them in the cheese, which I don't know if is the recommended sauce, but. They have a, um, they have a honey mustard jalapeno situation that I'm dipping the nuggets in. I'm only doing it in the cheese. I'm getting a side of cheese every time now. And I'm doing it once or twice a week. You're twice a week. a week dipping the chicken nuggets and the cheese? Could you ever see yourself?

This job doesn't exist anymore. But remember when you, I don't even know if you're too young for this, but when your mom would take you to like a stride right as a kid, like at the mall, it's like a children's shoe store. Do they don't have those anymore? Stride right? Yes, it was a children's shoe store in the 90s. And you would go and a woman would...

That might have been regional, by the way. I don't even know if that's like a time gone by thing. It could be regional. It could be Jersey regional. And a woman would fit your tiny foot in one of those metal shoe measurers. and then bring out a tiny little children's shoe for you to try on. And one time I went to do it, and the woman who was sizing my foot at the stride, right,

was my preschool teacher. And I was like, whoa. I was like, let me help you up. You shouldn't be down there. I go, you're an educator, get up. Yeah. Don't be down. I'll go in the back and get my own little tiny shoe.

Did you don't have money growing up? No, I mean, like, no. Like, we lived in like the Jersey suburbs. So like enough to live in a coastal state, which I fear the property tax is probably insane. Yeah, we just never getting fitted for anything. No one ever fitted us for anything. No, you'd have to, well, because back then you had to buy everything in the stores.

You can't, like, go on, like, Amazon and order, like, baby shoes never worn. Yeah, I was born in 1995. I just don't, we didn't go to any stores and get fitted for anything. Okay, yeah, that means, yeah, no. And it's so close, but there's, like, a couple of memories I have. No, you just had to go to get everything at the mall or in the stores. Yeah, we did some of that. You couldn't really order it.

There wasn't an internet ordering situation. We had to drive. You thought that we were rich and someone was coming to the house to fit me with like gilded baby shoes. No, I totally understood that you were going to a store. I just like, we weren't going into stores

where people fit us. Like we were shopping at like goodies. Yeah, I think that's where the business model doesn't exist anymore. It's like I don't know that like kids don't really have the purse strings. You know, so like to be treating kids like little princes and like sitting them on the chairs

and fitting their shoes when they're not going to buy like a pair of Manolo is crazy. How much can a pair of like in the next? 90s could a pair of children's shoes have cost. Oh God, anywhere from 20 to 30 cents. I'm going to be so bummed if that's correct. Can you imagine? It just makes me feel old for anything to cost under a dollar in my lifetime.

Yeah, I remember how much money was to you when you were a kid? Oh my God. I remember one time my mom, and this was probably like, barely mid-90s. My friend's mom wanted to take us to McDonald's and my mom gave me $10 and I was like, will this be enough? And it's like, girl, that's enough for six years of McDonald's back then. decades on that. She's like, you'll be good. Yeah. You'll be fine. Oh, God. I wish we would have bought property back then. I know. Specifically in New York. I, yeah, you think New York is. You hear about all these

old painters that, like, bought, like, I have a friend who's like a painter's assistant or whatever the fuck studio assistant to a painter that, like, was a decently working a painter in the 90s and bought like a loft in Soho and now has like a fucking floor through loft and Soho that's been owned outright for like 15 years. And I'll never have that. God, I'll never fucking. God, I'll never be like you. We'll never have that. I mean, and there's no other, it's not like we can like establish ourselves in a new city. Like, it's not going to happen anymore. The past was the main time and this is whatever's left. So. The past was the main time. Yeah, and this is just whatever's left. And there's a clown shoe peeking out from the gown. And there is, but you know what?

We're making the most of it. We are. We're making the most of it. You have to. You have to. I have a question for you. Yes. Do you think that when you use my sperm to have a baby, Yeah. Do you think I'll get to have a relationship with the baby or do I have to be like totally uninvolved? That would be great. Can you imagine? I want to be involved with baby. Of course.

I'll have my own babies as well, but I want your baby to know that I'm part of baby. And you would be like comfortable with that. You like wouldn't even care like you'd have your own babies and then you would be like. Totally completely. And I'd be like, hey, by the way, Aunt Taylor's kid. Yes. Yes. And that is the name.

Is your sibling. Yes. They would love it, I think. They would really love it. Jebedi-Di. I just think there's. No. Your kid's going to be they.

them. Well, yeah. My kid will be there. Your kid has no chance of being cis. I think that there's no, well, we talk about this a lot. I think that there is a chance by, well, like this refractory thing where maybe we end up with this really straight, cis. I fear that. Child, you know. I fear that. Yeah. I, and we would have to support him. And there's just so many things I don't want to sit through. There's, I mean, I will. I have fears. What if he doesn't do any theater to be well-rounded?

What if he doesn't do, and I already, by the way, don't want to sit through children's theater either. I didn't do theater. And so you might be putting that in their jeans. What were you doing? His jeans. Were you playing a sport? You were kicking the ball around with those.

I know you were. A sport. I was playing a sport. and I was doing student government, like the true psychopath that I was. Yeah, you are. You know? Yeah, you are.

And so you have that to deal with. And I tell you, my little cousins, they're the sweetest boys in the whole world. I would die for them. I love these boys. I have a fear of when they get to, like, high school, and they start hanging out with just other boys. And that's what happens?

Oh, I have a fear of who's going to show up to Thanksgiving. Do you think that, yeah. Do you think a weird friend on like a, yeah. No, I mean, how they're going to show up to Thanksgiving, who they're going to be. I thought you were talking about the kind of thing where, you know, like how tweens. will get to take a random friend on vacation.

Yeah. I was always like the friend or something. Yeah. If that scares me as a parent, too, taking somebody else's kid on vacation. I'm saying no to that. Yeah. No, you're not bringing your friends on vacation.

That's called having siblings. I'm not spending my vacation with your little friend. Your little friends. You've lost your mind. No. You're going to play Scrabble with Daddy and go to bed. Also, that scares me. What if they drown?

Right. Right, of course. And I have to carry that guilt around with me for the rest of my life. Yeah. I don't think they would drown, right? because you would just be watching them? Yeah, but you never know. What if they're drinking behind my back?

Yeah. Kids do that. I know. I had kids, you know, it's so, I mean, this is actually horrible,

but it is, sorry, it's funny. I, when I worked, when I was in college, I was like, basically an R.A.

at Columbia University. Okay, perfect. Perfect for your new role. Hello. Hello. For like high school students that were in like an exchange program or whatever. Yeah.

In the summers. And they had a curfew and they were like, had to go to bed. And we would like, we would like check them into the building and be like, like you're in bed for the night. Do not leave this building. And we would do rounds of like watching the building or whatever. We had a group of kids sneak out, get very drunk and come back and get caught. And then we were like, and they were just walking in the front? Yeah. We were like,

what happened? Why did you get drunk? Yeah. And they were like, a homeless guy made us. He made us. He like came up to us and he was like. And I, I hate that agenda. I know. I know. The homeless agenda always trying to get the kids drunk. The homeless agenda of getting teens drunk. And we were like, I'm sorry, a homeless person came to you with alcohol that they had and said, you have to drink this before you go back to your dorm. Yes. And they're like, yeah, it was scary. And I was like, you guys are fucked in the head.

They're like, we didn't want to. These people are living on the streets and you're going to fucking blame. You're sick. You're sick. How that's almost worse than you sneaking out. You're sick. But you'll only be penalized for sneaking out. You're idiots because you came in through the front where there's cameras.

So now I have to report it. If you'd come in through the back, I could have let you go. I know, but locking kids in is begging them to break out. I know. It's like they excites them too much. It terrified me as a kid. I was not sneaking out. Really?

No, no. But my best friend, when we were younger, liked to push the boundaries. And, like, we would go on a trip and they would tape your doors. They put tape on your doors. Classic. And she would, like, she was wild. She would, like, we were roomed together for one trip. So obviously, it's like, don't break my tape on my room.

If I'm not going anywhere, I would, like, dutifully go to bed. And she would ease the tape open. And then she'd come back in the morning and I'm like, she would like have bangs, like another girl. She's like, I let Kelsey cut my hair. And I go, so that's pretty obvious that you were like out of the room because you have bangs now.

You have micro bangs. Yeah, you might have eased the tape but now you have fucking bangs. You've jagged micro bangs. God damn it. Yeah. I want to get bangs. Get it.

That's the problem is this perception of me. You don't think I'm a bad boy. No. I think you're a good student. Okay. And you are. You don't, but you don't think I can become a bad boy?

I think you could be the best student of becoming a bad boy. That's sick. I think you're diligent and you're committed and I think that if anyone could do it, you could do it. But it would bump against some of your other commitments. Do you think you're a bad boy? Yeah, I think that like, I've never wanted to be. I've never wanted to be. And I'm the best I've ever been in my life.

Grow up. You are not a bad boy. I'm at least, I'm at least type B. At least. Taylor. I am a little bit. You think you're a bad boy? I think I'm struggling every day since birth to be a good boy.

You came in full glam to the podcast. That's not a bad boy behavior. You look stunning. You're in a huge hit Netflix show. Thank you. You're one of the biggest Netflix shows. But for a long time, like when I was younger out, I was like, how am I in trouble again? Yeah.

What did you get in trouble for the most? What's the biggest trouble of your 20s? Of my 20s? Sorry. Yeah, sorry. I don't remember my 20s that good, but. That's why I started to feel bad. What's the biggest?

I know. You were like, there's no way she was. remembers that far back poor girl was the biggest trouble was the biggest trouble of your adult life oh my god i was always in trouble in catholic school i got in trouble for um when was catholic school um elementary school oh my god one time this is not even the worst one but one time so my my parents made me try all types of sports and joiner activities and it was not ticking and um they had me do basketball all. And it wasn't good.

And obviously I was benched chronically. And so one day I guess I got bored and I was doing my favorite thing, which is checking out the concession stand. And I was checking out the concession stand with this girl who was older than me, cooler than me, terrified of her. And to impress her, this was not her idea. It was mine to impress her was to call 911 from the pay phone. And yeah, the cops showed up to the game, stopped the whole basketball game.

I'm sitting there, my parents are there, my dad is there, and whole like a gym full of kids and parents, and they stop the game and they give this big speech where they're like, you know, cautioning us on calling 911 as a prank, and they're like, an old woman fell in her house and she's still laying there because we thought that there was an emergency here.

Oh my God, get over there. I know, it's like we're fine, and you're like still making the speech to be fair. Stop giving speeches and go get lady. It seems like you're sort of like, feeling yourself, to be honest. And I could just feel my dad. And he's like, so whichever of you did it,

because they didn't know who, back in the day you couldn't trace anything. And I could just feel my dad looking at me and he knew it was me. Like he knew, he goes, can we get through one week without an incident? Can we get through one fucking week? And he knew.

What did you say when you called them? I called and I let it ring and I breathed into the phone like a pervert and then I hung up. That's what they gave a speech about. Just don't come down to the school. I think if you, back then, you have to think about what was going on at the time. Back then, if you got a payphone 911 call from a school, you raced over there. Yeah, it was fresh.

Sorry to bring up Columbine, but. We have, let's, and I know that they don't, I know that I'm borrowing this, but never forget. Never forget. Never forget. You know, I think they go, we got to race over there. There's a basketball game going on and someone could be holding it up. Yeah. No.

You know, I wish we still had pay phones. I think of this all the time. We don't. Not really. There's a couple. They rocked. You would call your mom collect from the school pay phone and be like, I need Jim shorts. And she'd be like, well, I work.

So borrow some. Oh my God. Did you guys have a big drama at your school? There was always a big drama about, like, sometimes a kid would call their parents and be like, can you bring me McDonald's for lunch? And then the parent would do it. Never. And then the school would like throw a fit.

Never. That never happened for me. These other kids don't get McDonald's. That never happened. We had a lot of talks about that. They would probably let kids eat McDonald's at my school. Also, by high school, I was sort of like, I don't know if there's free periods anymore in schools. It seems like probably not.

I think once they started putting metal detectors in schools, they were like kids don't need the free space to linger in Rome. But we would have like a study hall or a free period. And somewhere halfway through high school. And I was really trying to be well behaved at that point. But I remember I would just leave. Yeah. I would just go get a bagel or something. I would just roam about the town.

We had a class, my like junior and senior year. Well, you were only eligible for it if you were a junior senior. It was called leadership. was leadership one and two. I know you were in leadership. I was in leadership. You got to apply. It was only like only a couple of kids got in. Yeah. But it was basically like the student council class where if you were like on student

council you take this class and basically you would like do things around town. Like it would be like, oh, this month we're running like a canned food drive. So like one of the things we do in class is like a lot of times we would end up having to go get in our cars and drive somewhere else in town and then come back to school during the period. They let the good kids have a lot of freedom. Totally. But basically we were totally abusing it because we would like go do the things.

thing really quick and then get Sonic and drag race by the park. Why not? And so, but then people, people that live by the park would call the school and be like, the kids are drag racing again. Can you please do something? Oh my God. Who's calling? They would gnarc on us. These fucking loser old Republicans. Middle of the day. Get a job. How about that? Okay, we can't drag race by the

park. How about we're 17 and we don't know any better? How about you voted for Ronald Reagan and now you're not working? Like, what's going on? What do you believe in? Sorry, I was having fucking cheesy tauts in an ocean water and drag racing with my friends. And by the way, I'm in the leadership class. Hello. People look to me. My community looks to me already and I'm a minor.

That was their point though. That was their point is we needed to be good leaders and not be drag racing and we would get in trouble and it was so silly. Can't people be both? I'm so bored and tired of people not being allowed to be both. God, you are a bad boy. Can't people be both? Can't people be both? Can't we be both? We're like not letting people achieve good deeds or do good things

because we're convincing people they're either good or bad or whatever and it's like let people have a little redemption. Let them do a good thing. Let them do one good thing they believe in. Local news is in decline across Canada and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors, and misinformation fill the void. And it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more places across Canada, reporting on the ground from where you live, telling the stories that matter to all of us.

Because local news is big news. Choose news, not noise. CBC News. Redemption is huge. I mean, why not? Why no redemption anymore? We're going to lose all our Do you think you're ever going to get canceled? Probably. I hope not. It's my biggest fear, but... Okay. It's my biggest fear. Every day, I'm getting on the... I'm getting on the news and stuff all week, and I'm going, don't say anything. Yeah. Oh, you're worried you're going to, like, cancel yourself in real time.

Well, yeah. Oh, totally, totally. I thought it would be like an old thing. Oh, who knows? Oh, my God. And who knows? You can't even think about that. You know what I mean? I've said so many... I've been alive for so long. Yeah, you've mentioned that. And half the shit I say is so stupid and I don't even mean it. So it's like, yeah, it's It lingers over my head, but then I go, I also, I'm a really sweet girl.

You're a totally sweet girl. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm, I have good intentions, but I'm also dumb as a brick sometimes. You're not done as a brick. You're a totally sweet girl. You have the best intentions. Thank you. Anything you said on Twitter back in the day, I don't care if it surfaces.

I will always stand by you. You're kind of like, you're kind of digging around. Well, we actually have. Oh, yeah, pull them up. We actually have some stuff. I can defend it. We should start trying to cancel people on this show. I think that'd be a fun evolution of the show.

Yeah, it should be a game that you play on this show. With like the cozy fireplace in the background. Yeah. Be like, oh. You should be like, defend this. Defend this. Why did you wear that costume? I thought it would be funny.

Yeah. And I thought it looked sexy. Yeah. That's why. And I thought that people would know that I have good intentions. Defending a problematic costume by being like, I thought I looked sexy. I thought people would know that I was one of the good ones, obviously, when I did that. Yeah, yeah.

I'm a bad boy who's one of the good ones. Yes. Next question. I thought you were, you guys were letting me be too comfortable. What do you? What do you think we should do this summer? This was one of the toughest winters in New York in a long time. Multiple blizzards.

Multiple blizzards. And I was here in 2016 and it was not like this. This has been really cold. Remember the day that you made me go on the city bike on your birthday? Oh my God, dude. This was so sickening. It was really bad. I knew it was going to be too bad.

And I was so shocked that all of you have lived in Chicago and still thought we were getting on the bike. I would have biked all the way to dinner. Oh, you would have. Yes. Okay, we got on city bikes. It was my birthday weekend. Like, eight of us were going to a dinner. And I thought they were pranking me.

I thought everyone was pranking me. I said, I want to ride city bikes. Yes, it was negative five degrees. Yeah. Yes, we had gloves and scarves. Everyone was being so childish about it. It's too cold. It's too cold.

Yes. I forgot that I was with a bunch of girls. It was a little drugatory because everyone was being very girly about it. They're also really small. Oh, oh, the wind is too much. I was like, oh my gosh, girls. It was negative four degrees. The only, yeah.

And there was only, yeah, it was so silly. We biked like two blocks. That was the real weather. It was the real weather. We lost a girl. We lost a girl immediately. Within two blocks, we lost the girl. Lost her.

And then like somebody else, we didn't notice because there was somebody else kind of biking with us. And we thought it was her. Yeah. So we lost the girl immediately. We had to get off the bikes under a bridge, call an Uber. We had to park the bikes. I had to go find the girl. I had to sort of like make all the girls put their arms inside their coats against their bodies under their armpits.

I go put your hands under your armpits. It was awesome. In the coat. I would have gone the whole way to dinner. I thought it was exhilarating. I love being on a bike. I don't. I get really scared riding the bike in New York.

I cry every third time I bike. Because of the wind? No, because I'm excited and happy. I bike over the Brooklyn Bridge. That is stunning. I'm going to pretty much cry most of the time I do that. Yes. It's so beautiful to move that quickly and be up that high.

Yeah. And we don't appreciate it enough. We don't. We don't. We don't appreciate it. I'm never doing it. I don't. I walked over the Manhattan Bridge the other night after a rainstorm at sunset.

Yeah. I listened to 1, 2, 3, 4 by Feist. How do you say their name? One, two, three, four. That is so funny to imagine you. And I cried. And I cried. And then I listened to Bitter's Sweet Symphony by Rob Thomas.

That's by the Wharf. But I... Bitter Sweet Symphony is by... I'm thinking of Street Corner Symphony. Oh, is that a Rob Thomas song. Street Corner Symphony is a Rob Thomas song and I got it wrong. And you are going to win that one. I'm so sorry.

It's okay. But I did listen at, do you know Street Corner Symphony? I don't. Really funny. He tried to solve racism with a song, which is like not what we need from him. And we can't stop doing that.

We're gonna have one song that tries to solve racism in the movie that we do. He was like, my sisters and my brothers of every different color, won't you come on over down to the corner? And he was singing it like, oh, hey, ha, ha. Mint it down.

And guess what? I listen to that song and I am coming on over. Yes. And I invite everyone to join me as well. Yes. Do you think you could fix societal ills if you were giving carp launch? No, probably not.

But I do think that, no, definitely not. Definitely not. I kind of think you could. I know that I could. You know that you could. If I had ultimate power. I guess if not us, then who?

That's what I'm saying. If I had ultimate power, yeah, I'm not even going to lie to you. It would be a lot better. I would need a pretty big committee, though. Of course. No one can do anything alone. I would need a big committee.

I have a lot of blind spots. So I would need a big committee. What are your blind spots? Who knows? I can't see them. They're blind. Fuck, they're blind. Fuck.

I shudder to think. I shudder to think of my blinds likes. I guess when I get canceled, I'll know. It's crazy that I don't think I have any. You don't have any. I know it all. No, I do think if I were in power, yeah, we would get shit fixed quickly. You don't consider yourself in power at this moment.

I'm not in power at this moment. Oh. I'm totally beholden to the mentally ill gay people who listen to the show. Right. I'm constrained by that. We'll cut that. We'll bleep that. Well, we'll be that and we'll do a little fuzz over my mouth.

Yeah. I mean, no. I'm not in power. If I were in Donald Trump's position, right. As president of the United States, oh my gosh. I know. Can you even imagine what I would get done? A lot, a lot.

But then it becomes the issue of like, you would be showing, you would be kind of showing people that things can be achieved. And that's a slippery slow. But I have to assume that's why politicians don't do it often is because it's if you show the people that change can be made, right? and that you don't have to sort of be beholden to the limitations and the bureaucracy that politicians act like they're like, I can't. My hands are tied. Meanwhile, they tied them for money. And it's kind of like, yeah, I guess if you proved that that's pretty dangerous. I think there's probably a lot of people who would try to stop you.

Day one in office, I would choose five billionaires. Yeah. I would. Public execution. They were. Public execution. Sorry. No, I was going to say prison, which is way more progressive. Rehabilitation.

I like that. No, I would take all their assets, day one, day one, five billioners, take all their assets, seize. Seas, we're looking into those. Redistribute. Elon Musk. Brother, you're in trouble if I come to power. He doesn't need all that money. He doesn't need all that money and he doesn't deserve it.

He doesn't, and it's not even about that. It's about that for me. To me, it's like, obviously he doesn't, obviously he doesn't, he doesn't, he needs, like, Like he needs to figure out his, he needs to figure out a special interest that isn't accumulating wealth. I think you should only be allowed to be a billionaire if you got there by being cool.

He didn't do that. Who has? Rihanna. She has a billion dollars. And J.C. Ugh. J.C. and Rihanna. Good for her.

They both got there by being cool. Wow. Now, do I think it's ethical? Did I say they got there by being ethical? No, they exploited people. I won't be looking into, I'll be turning a blind eye to Rihanna. Is Taylor Swift a billionaire?

Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. She got there by being adorkeable. She got there by being adorkeable, which we don't see enough of anymore, by the way. It's on the down swing right now. We are kind of on the, we're on a cool upswing and unaffected upswing.

We're on an adorkeable down swing. Yeah. It will be coming back. It totally has its place. But it's a tough. God bless you. I've burped on an it's and it totally worked. It totally worked.

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A burp, what do you think it was? I don't know, like a growl. like a Christina Aguilera. Yeah, I'll be start growling on here. No, it was a burp. For sure. I don't really know where it came from. I did eat a pretty big bowl of Cheerios this morning. Oh, you're a

cereal guy. Not always. But you have cereal in the house and sometimes you eat it for breakfast. I have cereal in the house and at times when I remember to have milk in the fridge, I have it for breakfast. And it makes me feel a little crazy. A nostalgic. It makes my body feel a little crazy for some reason. It's

sugar in the morning. It's like a... Honey Nut Cheerios is not that much sugar. Okay, good to know. Is it? Google Honeynut Cheerios sugar. Yeah, Google that versus a croissant. How much sugar? Crescent.

I do like a pastry in the morning. I know you do. I know. One serving. Okay, how much sugar one serving honeynut Cheerios? Oh, don't be a lot. Nine grams. Is that a lot?

Nine grams is a lot for a serving. Is that a lot? They're coated in a sheen of sugar, a glaze of sugar. So nine grams is a lot for a serving, actually. I thought that was healthy. Do 100 grams? Right. Oh, how is that possible?

Huh. Oh, I see. I understand. I understand. That's what they say it's part of a balanced breakfast. Well, what would the fuck

with the other part be? I think it's like a banana. I hope it's a chomps meat stick because that's... Oh, you do little... You chop up the chomps and you put them in the... A honey matriot, a chomps

and an ice latte that's so big you wouldn't believe it. And then I have another one like two hours later. Um, my... I've been kind of... of sort of bad on my nutritional balance lately. What's going on? I just only ever want to eat what I want to eat

and is exciting to me. And ever since I started eating meat again because I didn't eat meat for the longest time. So when you're not eating me, eating vegetables is kind of like, that's what I'm eating. Totally. And once you reintroduce meat, you go, vegetables are struggling to make their way

into the conversation. Yeah, for sure. Vegetables keep going like, they're like, I'm going to go. And oh, and I wasn't like, I was having a like a lot of, lactose intolerance spell. But now I'm back on.

And so I'm really into butter, just like a lot of butter. And people are trying to make me like really worried about my heart health. Totally. It's bad. It's really bad. I'm terrified for your heart health. Really? Do you think it's that bad?

No, I don't. Do you think there's people like eating a lot of butter all the time? And it's they're absolutely fine. There's like a hundred-old woman who's like, my secret to making it to this age is eating butter every day. Totally is. Can I tell you something else? Yeah.

The earth is 300-something million years old probably. And there's always been butter. And we won't exist someday. Someday humanity won't even exist. So, like, whether or not you die at, like, 71 or 85 is like whatever. Can I tell you that you're starting to sound like the guy from neighbors who bikes in his speedo? Dude. He's like, everyone who's ever lived has been dead and is already dead.

Let's talk about the HBO series, Neighbors. I am fucking obsessed. It's so, so good. It's my biggest fear as a person is having a neighbor dispute. I've had them. And I never to the extent. Like this show is a beautiful study on the types of people who exist in this world. And they're all nuts.

They're all nuts. They're all nuts. And it's two parties that are completely psychotic. Yes. That you're just like, both of you need to shut the fuck up and never be taken seriously again. Ever. And so it starts with the dispute and you're like, we're dealing with two weirdos for sure. And then the second half of the episode, you find out like both of them have only fans.

And it's the strangest. One of them is being like catfished by like fake Harry styles. Like there's so much going on in their lives. lives at the neighbor dispute is almost. There will also be a point usually in the middle of these episodes where it become, you think you have a grasp on who's right and wrong. Like party, like party number one will be like, I have no idea where this animosity started.

And party number two would be like, it's when she pulled a shotgun on me. Yes. And you're like, okay. So. Oh my God. Every episode at one or both of the parties goes, and I have a gun and I will shoot her. Yeah. They all have guns and they're all ready to defend their property.

It's crazy. But the last episode only focuses on one, one neighbor against the whole neighborhood. It's usually one-on-one, and there's usually a couple per episode. The last episode of the season. He's totally embattled. It needs an Emmy. I mean, he is totally, he's against his whole neighborhood. He wants to be nude.

They don't want him to be nude. Also, can I say something? A big part of that episode is people being like, we have children. I am so fucking tired of all a society. That's your business. Talk to your kids, motherfucker. I mean. Why is everything in society based around these people that don't want to talk to their kids?

He has no interest. in the children at all, by the way, of the neighborhood. He's biking naked at his house. He's in a speedo. It is so funny that he's in the front yard and then, spoiler, this is not the biggest spoiler of the episode, but he goes, I think I'm going to redo my backyard.

And it's like, yeah, that's what the backyard is for. Obviously. Do it in the backyard. Some of these people are sort of exhibitionists across the board, but he's not interested in the kids. What I do think is so funny is that he is he's got to be 70 and he's like, I need to have a

child. I need to have a child. He's like, I need to have a child on the end of my bloodline thing. He's like, the Slopsky name could be completely dead if I don't have a child today. Yeah. And I like that. He's direct. He's, you know, he's walking up to women going, I need to have a child soon. Would you have a child with him? No, he texts too much. Yeah, he does text too much. He texts way too much. And he texts like an old guy. It's so sad. I know. Well, you know. He's old. Totally. But that's why he should be with an old woman because they could text each other the same off-putting way. I know.

But instead, he's texting a 20-something-year-old girl. Yes. Who wants him to buy her, filet mignon, and high heels. Yes. Well, she's fascinating. I love her. I would, yeah, I don't even want to say more. I just want people to watch it.

Watch, neighbors. You need to watch neighbors all the way through. I'm really not even watching reality TV, and I got to tell you, this has, like, completely changed my life. Well, this is like a documentary. Basically. Yeah, this is like highbrow. Basically.

Well, the people in Montana were really fun for me as well. Were those the first episode, the guy with the Fang? The doomsday prepper, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That they're like out there and they're like, you can't close the gate on my land. My horses need to roam. And then it turns out one of them's like a role playing TikToker.

Yes. That's the money. They're all online, which you really don't get off the top from all these people. You don't get that they're so online. And it also is really showing you how other people are using the internet and other generations are using the internet. It's not always the same as ours.

Not always the same as ours. But all of them are on only fans. They're all on only fans. They're all on only fans. And they're all on TikTok in a big way. Yes. I deleted TikTok, but now I'm like getting links and I'm curious what people are sending me. Yeah, but you know what's a real high?

Tova. Of course, Tova. You know what's a total high is when you've deleted TikTok off you? I haven't had TikTok on my phone in forever. When you've deleted it and someone texts you something that you didn't want to watch and you go, oof, I don't have TikTok, but I bet that's funny. I bet it's good. That's a lot of fun.

Do you want to screen record it for me? Oh, you can screen record and send it if you want and they never care enough to screen. No. And that's telling, isn't it? I know. It's like, it's also kind of sometimes with TikTok because it sucks you in more than any other app. someone will be sending me something when they have some time to waste and I go, now you know if I open this.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm cooked. I'm done with whatever I'm doing. Why would you do that to me? Yeah. You don't want me to be productive. You don't want me to get my work done?

You don't want me to. Maybe they thought you could just watch one. No. I don't think anyone thinks that about me. Really? No. I have a really short attention span. I view you is extremely powerful.

Thank you. But I do have sort of original recipe like ADHD in a way that is kind of, of like I just have to be like alert about certain things and like not you know I can't the other oh my God the other morning yesterday I was we were getting prepped it's early in the morning I'm doing all these daytime appearances I'm shaking out stuff at the hotel room I pick up like a weed vape falls out it's got to be seven in the morning I pick the weed vaub up I'm cleaning up I'm texting I take fat hit no I go no no Cobb's like you're gonna be fine yeah Cobb goes In two hours when you're on camera, you're going to be totally normal again.

But yeah, I'm not, I need to be focused at all times. I want to start going to stuff stoned. I don't go to any work stuff stone and I think it would make my life better. Tobra, your muffs. Sometimes it does. Can I get stoned for tonight? Oh, please. Sometimes it does.

Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I think I, at this point of my life, I'm smoking so much weed consistently that I'm always a little. Yeah. But the edges are always a little soft. I am stone cold, sober at every work event. And I am telling you, I have friends that go to set. on a hundred milligram.

Oh, that I can't do. I want to get high at stuff. When I'm filming something on set, like as an actor, I cannot be high or have like any substance in me at all. And that includes the other way. Like I can't have like an adderall or something and do my job. So that I don't have anything except caffeine. But no, I'm like high for other stuff a lot.

You have to get into Mal. I think it's their Miami vibe. I think it's Miami vibes. It's this little vape I have. and it's for daytime smoking around town. It's a little pink vape. Sorry. I have to get into Miami vibes,

which is a vape, which is for daytime smoking around town. Yeah, yeah. Is that their tagline or is that something that you're assigning to it? Something I discovered. Cool. Yeah, through market research.

I don't like vapes. Me neither, and it's really bad for your, like, throat, obviously and really bad, but I can't be like lighting up a joint in the middle of the day. I know, but we need to be. It's better for us.

No. It's better for us. It's maybe for you, but we are coming out from two different angles where, like, your teacher, your teacher's favorite. And I'm the student that the teacher talks about when she goes home to her husband. This is always going to be the problem with our dynamic. I know. Is I'm, yeah, I'm little Miss Princess. You are. I know.

And I want to be a bad boy and you want to be a little Miss Princess. I want too sick. I want to be so well behaved. I want everyone to be happy with me. Isn't that sick? I know. That's why we work. It's our wound.

It's our childhood wound. Yeah, that you wanted to be a little Miss Princess and I wanted to be a bad boy. Because like I was only ever hoping for the best, you know? And you were only ever want to do whatever you want to do. I want to do whatever I want to do, but I want to be mysterious about it. That's the thing is I thought doing whatever I wanted. I thought that would make me a bad boy. Right.

I'm still just a good boy trying to do bad. Well, what you want is to achieve and so that's hard. I want to be mysterious. I want to be misunderstood. Yeah. I'm sure. Aren't you like you're misunderstood? Have you ever been canceled?

That's a type of misunderstanding. Honey, I get canceled every week. You get every week. They cancel me every week. Every week. They love me until I say anything. And then they're like, why would he do this? It's hard because it's like, it's like you do want your audience to be your community because

like they get what you're saying. But then sometimes you're like, that's right. I'm gay. Well, they're getting mad about, yeah. I don't really care. I don't care. I really don't care. But they're like, why is he making jokes about trans people?

And it's like, because I'm friends with more of them than you are. Than you've ever met in your life. You spend this much time around. You've ever met in your life. Why am I making jokes about less? Spend time with these people. I know. I know. You're picking up on the patterns. I'm noticing. I'm a noticing. If anything, it's like you're giving people good niche niche reads on the community. I'm in there doing field research like that fucking lady with the primates.

Oh, Jane Goodall? Jane Goodall. I was going to take Gloria Steinem and that's women. That's me with lesbians. Yeah. Yeah. You're the Jane Goodall of lesbians. Well, I mean, you're saying that and I will accept that. Thank you for saying that. You put it together and you made me say it. You independently brought that up of your own volition. And I want to thank you for doing that. You are that. You are that. That means a lot to me. I'm here to help you.

Yeah. When I'm learning as someone who is working and doing publicity for the first time, this is my first time working with publicists and like doing public like real big promotion for a project. Yes, my first time ever. Oh, wow. And I'm learning that nothing actually like really has to be real. It's like what do you, you can decide what if you want to be a bad boy from here on out.

Yeah, we'll just craft the narrative. Why not? I'll call my publicist today. I think diligent people are like the best at kind of like being like sexy or bad or whatever because they're like I know exactly how to achieve that. I'm calling my publicist. Colin, if they don't share the vision, vision, fire them. I will. On the camera. I'm going to fire my publicist right now if they don't understand. Please. What do I say? Just that I want to be a bad boy from now on? A new direction, hard time. Red, how's it going? I'm good. How are you doing? I'm good. You're live on the. the So True podcast, my podcast. Hi. I'm what? I am. You're, yeah, you're live. It's me and Taylor Ortega. Hey, I had a question for you. Yes. I think I want to be a bad boy from now on. I want to, I want to shift my image to being like, maybe like one of Hollywood's like premier young bad boys. Do you, do you, do you think that's

possible and how can we do it? Definitely possible. I don't know. You got to start with Wardrow first for sure. Oh, goodbye. I'll talk. Wait, what? Why did you say that? What do you mean? What would you, what kind of wardrobe?

Like, leather jacket, like, you know, those tired loads that you've been up all night. Like, you know, just the absolute, like, you just did you all. You got to go to Los Angeles too. We can't get in New York. Oh, come on. Really? I know.

Why? Because that's where that exists. You're too. Yeah. fucking cool in New York. Like, you're too cool. You can't do that. You can't pull an image change like that in New York.

I'll have to go to Los Angeles. What's, so obviously you're saying wardrobe is first and foremost. What is like the first like pressed stop we should do? I think it can't be a press stop. No press stop. And you can tell me, you can tell me if I'm wrong and if you advise against this. But I don't think it should be press stop. Even if it's orchestrated, I think it needs to be like you're on skid row and you're

trying to low-key acquire. contraband. And you're sort of hoping not to be photographed. And in fact, you should look like shit. And people should photograph you. And then we've thrown... And it can't be backgrade.

It has to be like, you know. And then those come out and you pretend to be destroyed by it. What do you think of that? 100%. What we do? We create that photo of Britney, Lindsay Lohan,

and Pierce Hilton. I would love to be a part of that. Oh, rat. So I think we have to come up with that tricester. of who you were in the car with where you were just... You guys could... I would let you guys blur my vagina for that.

I know. And then obviously, I really need to release a statement asking for your privacy during this difficult time. Rehab? If you sort through... Do I go to rehab? We call it personal matters.

Oh, but it's rehab. You're going to personal matters. I'm going to a rehab called personal matters. Okay, thank you, Red. This was illuminating as always. Your check is in the mail. Bye. It's in the mail.

Bye. Bye, bye. Thank you. Did you hear you said congrats on your show? Oh, thank you. Always working. Wow. I think you guys are totally right.

I need to go to Skid Row. I know. I need to be like that video of Justin Bieber. Do you remember that? I do. I talk about it too much. When he was in like an alley of an alleyway of Hollywood. He was like, my car broke down, man.

Yeah, I know. Come on, man. It's like, I'm sorry and it's not comfortable, but you have to do something like that. Yeah. And you kind of have to be down to do it. I worry that it seems like I'm trivializing addiction issues on this episode. But I'm not. Just because I want to go to rehab to create an image.

Who said you have to go buy heroin? You could buy a gun, like a stolen gun or an unregistered gun. And no one ever got mad at anyone for trivializing that. I think my bad boy turn would be really complicated if it was like a, if my thing was guns. I think people are. Oh my God. Okay. Everyone on neighbors has one.

I didn't say you have to shoot anybody. I think people are going to be more receptive to me maybe having like in substance an issue than maybe the, that I'm like buying black market guns. The thing is everyone has a problem with everything. they're all right. And that's good. And we should stay vigilant. Yeah. I mean.

Do you know what, Taylor? What? We could dovetail at the exact moment that we're turning my public image towards bad boy. Right. We could bring you in and turn your image towards Little Miss Princess. Sank. Okay.

You're the good girl that's like, you're the good girl that goes on the news after. So I get caught by. I'm really worried about you. I'm like, sought off shotguns in L.A. Yeah. That are illegal. Yeah. And then you go on the news.

Well, I'll have, said it. all up. And you should steal. I'll steal the gun. No, I mean, you should just steal around, like you should be just stealing. Okay. I'll have the gun that I've purchased. Yeah, like, and you can have it on you when you're stealing, but I also think because you're like, you know, prominent that no one's also going to stop. No one's going to think you're stealing. Right. So then you can just also be walking around stores taking stuff. Right. And then what we'll do is we'll set up to where the news comes to you to comment like, hey, Caleb Heron's, your friend, Caleb Heron's at the time I'll be pregnant with the, you're pregnant. And you're wearing like a very

sensible cardigan that's like open enough to show the belly. Yes, and the pregnancy is kind of maybe also my turning point. Yeah. Like the pregnancy for me is like, I gotta get serious. And your hair's like feathered, not slick back. It's feathered? It's like feathered. It's like, do you know what I mean? Or it's like curled or something, but it can't be slicked back. Okay. And you can't be wearing those glasses. They're too cool. You can be wearing any

glasses at all. And your lip has to be understated and simple and elegant with pearls because what you're going to say is while you're like holding, you know the way that pregnant women do this? Yeah, I'll be doing that. You're going to do that on the news. And you're going to go, you know, Caleb is, he's a complicated guy and he's going to get help. He's dealing with personal matters right now. Rehab.

Personal matters, yes. If everyone could just give him like some space and time, I think we really need to understand like what he's going through. And you'll come through as like the sensible friend who wants me to get help. Or people will be like, oh, she's an apologist. No. Okay. No, you're going to get little Miss Princess treatment. They're going to go, wow, she's so good.

I deserve it. She's so teacher's pet. I deserve it. now. God. I've been I've been yeah, this will be, thank and thank you for doing that for me. And the whole time by the way, your new Netflix show, number one on Netflix the whole time. It's from your lips.

Bigger than everything. From your beautiful soft lips to God's ears. Bigger than everything your show. Oh, I hope. I get pregnant right away. You think Dan would be mad of me if I got pregnant right away? No. Okay. No. I think he, this is this is what would happen. This is what would happen. Okay. You be you. I'll be Dan. I'll be Dan. And you tell me

that you're pregnant. Oh my God, I'm so excited for season two. I have some more big news for you. Okay. I'm pregnant. Wow. Wow. You'd be like, no, he'd go.

He'd be like, he'd be like, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Panic in his eyes. Totally. You have to. Okay.

Wow. Okay. Thank you for telling me. It's Caleb's. Heron? Yeah. Okay. Wow.

We conceived naturally because I wanted to be born of love. He was inside of you. Yeah. Caleb was. Our mutual. Our moot. Our moot. Okay.

I'm going to call Netflix. Why? Taylor, they have to hang on to the baby while we film season two. They're going to hang on. They have to hang on to the baby. Jessup, what did you name? Jebediah. They're going to hang on to Jebediah. I want him on set.

They. I want them on set. What the fuck Lori gets to bring her dog? Lori has that dog everywhere, doesn't she? I know. I love Connie. I just saw Death of Salesman on Broadway. Yes.

Dogs walking across the stage. No, she, two seconds after the show ends, Lori in like a stocking cap, a coat, sweatpants pants, dog. She's fast. She's not kidding. Connie's ready to go too. Connie's very like, yes. Lori Metcalfe legend.

Unreal. I can't believe it. I know. You're a show with Lori Mecca. I know. It's really crazy. And she gets to bring her dog. It's really nuts.

That's crazy. I know. And she plays your lover as well. She plays my lover. We kiss a lot. She begged. Kidding. Guys, don't get hoony.

Don't get hoony. We don't. Tell me about the show. Yeah, it's Dan and I and I. Levy, Schitt's Creek. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Our mutual.

And I, we play siblings. Dan's character is a well-to-do reverend, which I kept forgetting when we would film and then like there would be scenes where he'd show up in like the full gown and I'd go oh my god that's right I'd almost be like why are you in that you know and I would forget I go stop you're looking on some but that's a little much um no and he plays a reverend and I am his sort of aimless um kind of bad girl sibling to be honest and uh I get us into a little hot water and we we spend this series sort of trying to work off uh while also digging ourselves deeper into our debt

with organized criminals. And Lori McHath plays our mom. She's running for mayor. She's amazing in this show. And like the way Dan writes for these people is like so much of the show is so quick. And it's like us going back and forth and screaming over each other. But then when Lori's on camera, she's working her way around the whole set, a straight monologue. Almost like in so many scenes.

Like she's just one after the other after the other. And it's a scene where you're just like you're tracking her boom, boom, boom. It's incredible. He really knows. He really knows who he's got, you know. It's sick. I'm excited. I'm really excited.

I'm so excited a little bit. And this, the show will be out by the time your episode comes out. Okay, yes. So people can go watch it on Netflix. On Netflix.com, the website. I love that website. I love that website.

I love that website. And I'm so excited for your show to be on it. And I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I'm proud of you too. Thanks, buddy. What's so true to you right now? What's so true to me is I'm getting a little fatigued

with the hypervigilance over women's celebrity behavior. I think there's really been an uptick this month. And I just kind of feel like if I have to hear about Chapel Ron being rude one more time, it's sort of like until we see, until one of you digs up Chapel Roan's dead name in the Epstein files, I'm not, I can't hear it.

I don't want to hear about it until the end of the quarter. Yeah. I don't want to hear about it until the end of the quarter. Everyone's like, our president is sort of waking up every morning with a full dipey being like, I'm going to level Iran to the ground. And everyone's like, we have to get Amanda Batula behind bars. And I go, you guys are diligent.

You're on there all day. You are in the comments. You are getting, you are getting, you know, what's it called? Like, sponsorship, like, paid at whatever, like, partnerships or whatever taken away from these celebrities. It's like, let's get that energy. You guys could, you guys could end this conflict today. Former militia. Now.

Now. Do something. Get out there. You, the hate you have in your hearts and the sense of justice could be so, so, so, positively weaponized. And it also is like boring and fake. Yeah. Like it just like the outrage is kind of boring and fake. Um, I, fake and gay. Fake and gay. And by the way, it's like there, there's such different situations. Like I obviously can't wait to watch Summer House and how this plays out. And I hope everything works out for Sierra and she gets everything. And I, I honestly hope like they put her,

they put her in an Oscar winning movie and she completely transitions out of reality TV. I think it's time. But at the same time, it's sort of like there being intense real world consequences for things like Chapel Roan security guard scaring an 11 year old is sort of like also that's funny that's the other thing is we don't laugh people are so serious they're like oh my god to send a security guard to the child just like shut the fuck out in the 90s you know what would happen women aren't allowed to be divas anymore back in the 90s you would walk into a hotel that you have a reservation at

Naomi Campbell would cross in front of you she'd grab you by the neck she'd lift you she'd throw you across the room and you'd go thank you you. That's what would happen. That's what it used to be like to be a woman. Oh my God. But not anymore. Not anymore.

She didn't do it either. And also I'm this, this is part of my whole thing with this, the fucking like outrage about kids lately. I'm like, you guys have none of this energy. Where is this revolutionary energy for the fucking pedophiles? The pedophiles. When I found out that, that like, I don't even want to guess percentages, but what percentage of powerful people in this world are straight up a cabal of,

confident pedophiles enjoying their lives and not taking one second to question their behavior. Yeah. I go, why are we giving like random reality stars like a triple anxiety disorder? It's like we like what are we doing? This is so crazy. And then these people that are, should be forming fucking like armies to do something about this. Instead they're like, why is Sam Smith wearing a boostier? It's like, shut the fuck up.

I missed that one. I completely miss that one. Shut the fuck up. They're like there's loose satanic. themes. It's like, do you know I ordered a 32 ounce ribby at dinner last night? Not just for me, everyone relax. Okay. I'm not, for the table, per the tub. Yeah, it was just me, why I dinner with my ex last night. And you said, I'm gonna, I said, we need a 32 ounce rebate. You panic, the rabbi, the rabbi, the rabbi, the rabbi. You kissed the waiter's hand. And then I

let him take it home. 32 ounce ribeye, I should have taken that home. What? Sides? Uh, top bottom. It doesn't matter. Top bottom. Whenever. Did you get sides for the mistake. Did you get a mashed potato, you sick? God, I can't even make gay jokes. That was a pretty good gay joke if you're really involved. I remember when side dropped a couple years ago and gay guys just started saying it on Grindr. And what is that? That is just right. Side is where you pretty much only want to do oral stuff.

It's basically like it's a new version of gay guy where cleaning out your butt is too much. Oh, you have to do that every time. Clean out? Before? Before anal sex? Yeah. Ideally. Right.

Not after. Both. Both. That is a lot of work. Oh, don't I know it. Those guys are going through it. That's a lot. Bottoms do more for this country than most of our politicians.

They don't get enough credit. I know. I'm here to tell you. I won't have any bottom slander. Those young men, the stuff they go through for our community, bottoms are the bedrock of this nation. They are.

And I want to shout them out. By name, go ahead. Bottoms. I want to say, if you have ever bottoms and God help you, if you're bottoming regularly. If you're bottoming right now. You might be bottoming right now. Turn it up.

Turn this up. Turn this up. Turn up the so true podcast because this is an anthem for the bottom. Yes. You clean that thing out. You scoop it, right? Scoop right? I'm sorry, right?

You fucking do your thing, brother, because you are keeping this country together. Lesbians are kind of doing the opposite. We're told to just leave it alone, never scoop anything out. Really? Yeah, they go actually don't even clean it too closely. The other day I saw a video where a girl goes, don't even put soap on the soft part.

Soft part. Like the where it changes to the skin change. Is there a hard part? There's like a more normal skin part and then you're inside, obviously where you get to the inside part, like it is a little softer. It's like the inside of her lip or something. Yeah. I mean, I've been in a couple of those. Congratulations.

It was cool. It was cool. It was cool. It was actually cool. I said once on this podcast that it really made me sick, but I think mostly that's just because I was figuring myself out. For sure. Yeah. None of it,

I would, I'm trying to think if there's like a person's body part that makes me sick. I don't think I like, oh, come on. Fingers,

people's hands, don't touch my face. Yeah. Nasty. I think that's the nastiest part of a person. Do you know what I don't like? What?

When I'm, like, okay, if someone's on top of me, maybe we're having sex already, maybe we're not. Okay. But I go to put my hand on their face, maybe to be kind of sweet

or to like bring them in for a kiss. Yeah. And they go to try and like suck on the finger. You ever have that? Oh, I think I would like that. I don't love that. You don't want your finger sucked. I don't want, I certainly don't want their finger in my mouth.

And I certainly am not like, like if someone sucks my finger, I'm not like, ooh. Oh, I kind of am. I'm like, what are you doing with that? But maybe they're not doing a good job. You need them to really like get like suction on it. I also don't have a penis. I think that's worse. You don't have a penis.

I don't. And now I'm realizing that is what it is. What could compare? Yeah. To getting your dick sucked. Like, yeah. Not much. Not much.

It's pretty awesome. I know. But that's probably like being eaten out, no? it's just too different it's just too different like I just think it's too different I've long wanted to I think like a thing that like a lot of lesbians share is when you find

when you start having gay sex and you find out what for so because for us like it's we like that vagina and it's exciting and good lesbians yeah yeah totally and it's like the inside the outside like love it can't get enough

loving the whole thing yeah and when you are a gay woman lesbian, they them, and you find out what it's like in there. There is a period of morning rage, grief almost for that men have like penises and get to experience that sensation with a penis. Sorry. Like if I could make my clit huge, like tubular and huge. The rage is that it's hidden on the inside. It's hit on the inside. I can't fully get all the way, all the way in there. Yeah. You're rageful because you can't be so inside. inside of it. And it's like I can with other like I could get a hand in there, but I would like it

if I, my hand was feeling the sensation that a penis could feel in there. Oh, God. I understand what you mean. Like you can put your hand in there and fuck around with stuff. And it's gorgeous. It feels really, it feels like a silky car wash. Yeah. Or like a beautiful glove. A beautiful, a beautiful glove like when you're doing like a Vaseline glove. Yeah. But I would then you go, I bet that feels amazing. To have your dick in there. Yes. I bet it feels. I bet it feels. I bet nothing. feels like that. It is. It is great. It is great to have a dick. You know, no shade to anyone who does or doesn't have a dick. Yeah. I totally understand what you mean. Putting a hand in there, totally not the same as putting a dick in there. I'm happy to do it. Chance is going to be a livid about

this conversation. Why? He's always wants to talk about this. Chance, no. Chances, chances like anytime we talk about too much sex stuff, he's like, we have to cut it. Google, YouTube will hate this. Okay. However he talks. Actually, just like bleep all the parts. He's not here today. He's not here today. So I get to be here. I know. I texted him. I feel bad. I was like, I'm downstairs. Bitch, come get me. I was going to call him bitch. And I go, I can't. No, I can't. Ever since our scandal, I can't. Yeah. No, I totally wish you had a penis as well. And what I want to tell you is what you have instead, your body is perfect and beautiful. And you know what? In some ways, penises are an inconvenience. Yeah. Did you notice on that episode of neighbors that like a lot of the guys at the nudist colony were like so hung?

Of course I noticed. Yeah. Of course. And that's not a thing I usually notice. But I was like, I'm not going to notice that? I wondered if it was like a male thing of like, I have to have my big dong out. The world has to now. Totally. If I had a huge dick, you'd never hear the end of it.

If. If I have, it's, you know, average. That's what people like the most. Actually, I don't know about gay guys, but I know that I think women like. We need to put more respect on the average to small dick community. For sure. Because hung guys are evil. They're hurting people.

That's a tool of oppression that they're losing on you, by the way. You think it's giving them like crazy ego problems. No, I just think it's hurtful. I don't, if you, but like physically. Yeah, don't bring a hung dick around me. What am I going to do with them?

I'm not putting it in my mouth. Well, obviously me neither. You don't, you won't put it in there. You're going to put it in there. I'll put anybody's... Chance,

I don't know what to tell you. Sorry, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't know. What happened to us? We got really locked in there for a second. I don't know. We have really good chemistry.

We have really good sexual palpable chemistry. We really do. I know. Do you know what's, I'm going to say something crazy right now? Okay, because I'm, Is it being crazy right now? Yes.

And you know who this is going to hurt the most is Holmes. Okay. What's crazy is it'll obviously never happen. Uranized relationship is set up in a different way. I know. I think we both know we would have crazy sex. We would have, I know. But Holmes also doesn't want it as bad, like to be honest.

You know what I mean? Like I think I. For us to have sex? No, like for y'all to have sex, I feel like we would probably. But then also I wonder is it like a, is that our like pheromones almost being? like we actually have genetic compatibility even like that because you know what I mean like if we did try to have a baby would it only take one round yeah you know even if we did I you I oh we would have

a baby instantly I think our what if our bodies are really suited for each other I think Cobb might be a little hurt too by this conversation I'll fuck Cobb too I think maybe yeah I know how fuck Holmes and like Cobb as well yeah let's do a let's do a let's do a let's do a let's do a sex day First of all, don't even don't even dangle that carrot because Holmes will make us all follow through with sex day. Yeah, that's true. Their greatest joy would be all of their friends

coming together to have sex with each other. That would be special. That would be special. It would. That would be really special. I think if things ever get really splintered and we're all working too much and no one's really able to hang anymore because of the grind, we should plan something like that. That's never going to be made. Yeah.

You have a healthy relationship. with the grind. With the grind? Yeah. You do. Maybe. You're a well-bounded person. I think so.

Aquarius. Hello. Do you want to play a game? Yeah. I have 15 statements for you and you have to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. Taylor, you know what you've done it. I've done it.

If you win, you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 U.S. dollars. Really? Yes. I'll take it. Yeah. You'll get paid regardless. Ready?

The Great Wall of China is visible from space with the naked eye. Yeah. False. Bananas or berries. No. True. The shortest war in history lasted 38 minutes. Yeah.

True. Venus is the hottest planet in the solar system. Like sexy or temperature? Temperature. No. True. Kelsey Theater at Mercer is in Trenton, New Jersey. Yes.

False. It's in West Windsor. I went to camp there. Wombat feces are cube-shaped. Yes. True. The Statue of Liberty was a gift from Spain to the U.S. False, France.

False, France. The boiling point of water is higher at higher altitudes. Yeah. False. It's lower. A group of rhinos is called a crash. Sure. True.

They see no. Crash. High Town High School's colors are purple and white. Wrong. False. Blue and white. Earth's moon is larger than Pluto. Yeah.

True. The largest bone in the human body is the femur. Yeah. True. Barry Sanders wore number 20 for the Detroit Lions. Okay. Yes. True.

Hey. Bernie Sanders was born in 1945. Yeah, true. False 1941. Diana Ross is from Cranberry, New Jersey. False. False. She's from Detroit. Okay. How Taylor do? I think I would have heard of that.

Nine. Okay. Pretty good. Pretty good. Not bad. Close, but no cigar. I know. That's me. I'll never be fully perfect. No matter how hard I try. I'll be close my whole life. You are fully perfect just as you are right now. Thank you. But you mean that in the way of like our flaws make us who we are kind of thing.

Totally. I'm not interested in that. Completely. You want no flaws. I want no flaws. It's not all it's cracked up to be doing. I'm not going to let myself enjoy life until I get there. Having no flaws seems like a lot of fun until you have none. You feel completely beholden to it.

I have zero flaws. I know. It makes me sick every day. You seem to be having like a pretty all right time. In life? Yeah. Yeah. I guess you're right.

You seem they're kind of rocking it and making the most of it. I'm freaking it. You're freaking it. I've been saying that nonstop. In terms of being alive, I'm freaking it. You are kind of freaking it. Do you feel that you're freaking it? I mean, if this is,

I don't know what it is. At least this week I'm freaking it. You're freaking it this week? I'm freaking it this week. Are you gonna take a big nap after all this? I hope you get some sleep this weekend. Thank you. I took a big nap yesterday. Yeah. But I also have really bad FOMO. Like everyone's in town for the premiere. I want to hang with everyone. Seeing like our crew at the premiere, but then kind of working and not being able to get black out with them was really, really hard for me. And I feel like they think I'm worried that they think our whole crew is gay by the way. So that lends some info to this, but it's like, I think they feel like I have like no commitment to blacking

out, and it's like, I actually do and nothing would make me happier, you know, but I'm so tired. They think you're not committed to blocking out when you are. They think I'm not committed to blacking out. And I go, I literally am. That's all I want. Do you want to black out tonight? No, I gotta be up early tomorrow. See, that's a fucking problem. But they're kind of, I kind of feel like some crew members are able to sort of like do, like, they were kind of like, so what? You have to go somewhere in the morning. And I go, oh my god that's right like y'all are working like 24-7 like you you guys are getting up at

ungodly hours in the dark actually hard jobs like moving shit like you're lifting shit you're doing whatever and I'm just kind of like I can't be a wrinkly on camera yeah I can't be dehydrated a wrinkly on camera and they're kind of going that's not a problem and I'm like you're making good points let's get blackout tonight okay let's get back out tonight I'm beyond hungover on Kelly Clarkson tomorrow I barf in her shoe she would love that you know she's been blackout before For sure. I'd hope. Kelly? I hope. Kelly Clarkson, she's been blackout.

I hope so. She's probably been to a lot of good parties. Probably. And guess what? She doesn't have been to a lot of boring parties where she goes, I'm going to need a drink tonight. Yeah. And I'm making Dan get blackout with us tonight as well. You know, he, I was just saying this as someone, I feel like people would guess that I last longer than him. But sometimes when it's work play, he pulls it out. And he's like down to go out. Dan's out. Yes, he's out. He'll do stuff. Yes, he will. And he'll stay out. Like, he'll be one. If he's read.

ready to rally, he will. I ruined a game of charades at his house once. Why? What was it? It wasn't charades. It was like, oh, the celebrity game. Something like that. And I, like, totally messed up the rules and just gave my thing away immediately.

Ruined it. In front of Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Oh, my God. What kind of gay guy cabal was this? I know. That's why I wasn't invited to Jesse Tyler Ferguson night. There were only three gay guys there. Oh, okay.

Other than that, a lot of women. Dan has your friendship makeup a bit. Yes. It is very like women forward friend group. That's what I love about him. Yes. It's like stylish women. Is there anything you want to tell people before we go?

I love Caleb. I can't wait for our film. I can't wait for our child. Yeah. And I can't wait for tonight. Yeah. We're being blackout. Yeah.

What can I say something? And this is something I'm just thinking of now off the top of my head. Here's to the nights will never remember. With the people will never forget. Do you know what I mean? Yes. And that's right now. I love it.

I love you. I love you. Thanks for having me. Ciao, for real. Ciao, bella. Ciao, bella. Ciao, car my. Ciao, car amina.

Ciao, car amina. Yeah, love you. Ciao, La Belle.