Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - A Tradesman’s Journey to Sobriety with Mike

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

Join Brad in another powerful episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast as he chats with Mike, a Canadian tradesman who opens up about his journey from a childhood surrounded by alcohol to finding sobriety and changing his life. With candid insight, Mike shares the turning point during a trip to Barbados and the challenges of navigating sobriety in a world filled with social pressures. As Mike reflects on his past, therapy, and new motivations, listeners are left wondering - what finally led Mike to choose a life of sobriety? --------------- Mike on IG: https://www.instagram.com/h4zen/ Sober Motivation Community: https://sobermotivation.mn.co  

Welcome back to Season 4 of the Sobermotivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We're here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. In this episode, I'm joined by Mike, who shares his powerful story from his early years at a small Canadian town to his struggles with drinking within the trades industry. Mike opens up about the impact of his environment, his identity crisis, and the turning points that led him to seek sobriety.

Mike reflects on the importance of asking for help, continuing growth, and his commitment to being a positive role model for his daughter. And this is Mike's story on the Super Motivation podcast. How's it going, everyone? Welcome back to another episode. It's Wednesday, November 26th, 11.17 p.m. Working on getting this episode out. The holidays are coming up.

I mean, you have Thanksgiving in the U.S. tomorrow. Then you have Christmas. then you have New Year's. It's a really important time to stay connected to what's working for you. I was hosting a meeting tonight every Wednesday night for like the last three years. I host a meeting. It was on the sober buddy platform. Now it's on sober motivation app.

And it always brings so much joy to my life. I mean, it's really truly one of the highlights of my week every week. I feel like in the meetings I host in the mornings, it's a little bit different than at the end of the day when people have kind of had the day and I would guess that it's fair to say that a lot of people struggle more in the evenings with drinking. It's real and it's raw. And there's some people that I only see in that meeting. And it's just a beautiful experience. It is so beautiful. And I also

think about the people out there who listen to the show that just kind of quietly try to tackle this whole thing and try to just do it on their own. own and don't have anybody to talk to and it feels so lonely and isolating and it's such a tough place to be it really is and it's we even talk about it a little bit in this episode too about you know not reaching out and not asking for help and i think everybody has their own story that struggles with that on why you don't do that and i'm not here to say that's not valid because, of course, it is. But I think that this journey of sobriety is so much easier together than on our own.

I remember back to, you know, when a lot of these people first joined this community, like two years, three years ago, and they're still hanging out, come into meetings, and their lives have changed so much, like so much. And I just witnessed it through the squares, we call it. in our Zoom meetings and of course I've met some people on our Toronto meetup and I met my other buddy Ryan he was in town for some business work and got to connect with him and even his story too he's been on the podcast a couple of times and he had tried so many things he had tried so many things on how to get sober and he shares it too right trying to get his wife off his back so he's

like let me try this this thing with maybe the least resistance right this online community and he hasn't drank since his first meeting that he came to. And his story is not the only person in the community with that story. But I was having another conversation with my buddy Gabe who's in the community and been on the podcast too. And he was like, you know, one thing that's really stands out about the sober motivation community is I say it all the time. We meet others exactly where they're at. And he was just sharing how. he sees that through and through that we're not here to tell anybody what to do we're not even here to tell anybody how to do it at most we're just sharing what worked for us and if the other

participants are interested in in that like run with it but it's not here to say you're wrong if you don't do this or you're wrong if you don't do that and i just find that it's a very inviting place i mean i think one of the biggest challenges with people getting sober is trying to keep people around long enough for sort of that magic to happen or some people might refer to it as sort of the miracle quote unquote stick around long enough and if you can find places where you can get along with people and it feels good and there's there's a good amount of energy and there's people that are sharing their truth and it's not all sunshine and rainbows like people are going through serious struggles serious struggles of drinking for decades and now feeling all their

emotions and in sitting with things and try to navigate relationships and being being parents and everything else. It's a lot of work. It really is a lot of work. But I'm so inspired by the people that put one foot in front of the other because they know that their old life was no longer serving them. And it just was destructive. And it wasn't in line with who they actually are and maybe they had lost themselves along the way. I sure as heck no, I did. I lost who I was along the way. So I've been seeing a lot of Black Friday deals if you've made it to this part of my ramble. I don't really have a Black Friday deal, but I always share, you know, the first 30 days in the community is completely free. You can cancel any time. That can be, you know, at day 29 or day

30, or it can be after your first meeting and you say, hey, this isn't for me. Nobody's going to to come running after you and tracking you down and asking you any questions on why you didn't stick around. But if you want to plug in with an incredible group of people who get it, some people are starting out, other people have years of sobriety, just a lot of kindness, a lot of love, a lot of support, and everybody understands in one way or another what it's like. to be going through this journey. And I think that is another thing that makes it so beautiful. So if you want to check it out, 30 days are free,

that would carry you all the way through Christmas and maybe help you build a foundation or see if something different. I mean, that's ultimately what it is, just trying something different. But just try, try stuff. You never know what might work. You hear the consistent theme on the podcast, right?

The day before a lot of these people quit drinking, or got sober, they had no idea. And that's not unique to one or two people. That's so many people that have been on the show. So I'll drop the link down to the show notes for you to check out the community. If you have any questions, too, send me over a message on Instagram at Sober Motivation. And I would be more than happy to have a conversation and just share with you what things are like. Now let's get to this episode.

Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Mike with us. How are you doing, Mike? I'm good. How were you, Brad? Yeah, I'm doing well. Headed into the weekend, so that's going for us. So, yeah. What was it like for you growing up? I like to think I had your typical Canadian childhood, you know, played a lot of sports growing up. It was good. You know, I have a twin brother, so him and I played a lot.

You know, my parents divorced when I was young. But other than that, it was a pretty happy childhood. from what I can remember. Yeah. You're a twin, too? I'm a twin, man. Are you? Nice.

Yeah. Yeah. I have one that looks just like me. So he's 11 minutes older and yeah. Yeah, that's cool. People always ask me, man. I mean, it's kind of strange, but they're like, do you feel the pain that you're, I have a brother to, twin brother that he goes through and I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know. I've never really recognized that, but I don't know if that's something out there that people have heard, but. I used to get it all the time. Yeah, you know, you grow up fighting and, you know, like, I hate this guy. And now he's like my best friend. So it's good. It's funny how it works out.

Yeah, that is, it is so funny. Going back sort of in your story there, too, I mean, we know what kind of brings us all together here on the podcast, sober motivation, right? Was there a lot of drinking for, like, around you for growing up? Yeah, it was. it was always there right from my dad having people over my dad uh everybody kind of congregated at our place you know family and friends and always had big parties so it was it was there from day one so it's yeah yeah big gatherings somebody had recently shared i don't know if the episode

went live yet too but they always remembered sort of the good times when they had the family parties and the kids kind of ran around the adult maybe it was different for you but sort of the adults drank and the kids sort of ran around and you got to stay up later and you got to have pizza that night and you got to do all of that stuff and it's really interesting, you know, kind of how it all kind of played out. Yeah, it's, uh, I want to say I was like five or six years old and you can probably remember. You remember the old blue bottles? They had the smiley face on top, the blue cap. You remember the like the bat blue bottles by chance as a kid? I don't know.

I remember when I was a kid, my dad drank blue, and first sip was just terrible. That you had, first sip you had. Oh, yeah. It's so good. And just you have a sip and it's just, oh, it's awful. I mean, blue is gross no matter where you're at with things now, or were you a blue drinker further down the road? Yeah, I'd like to say blue, you know, OV, you know, maybe a little bit of crystal, 50. I like those Labat, Labat beers.

but my dad my dad is like FD, Stella, so. Yeah. When you're younger, though, I mean, maybe it was different for you, but a lot of people don't really connect the dots as sort of parents drinking and it might be problematic. I don't know how things were for you as of yet, but not really connecting all of the dots or was that something. But then some people share as they get older, they sort of do notice a shift in personality

and sort of how people are going to. going about it, that the alcohol is impacting them in one way or another. Did you pick up on anything like that when you were younger? No, it's probably the last two years of my life. I'm putting the pieces together, right? Yeah. But even for your dad, like when your dad was drinking, you never really... I saw it, you know, like there was time you see it'd be three sheets in the wind and, you know,

you saw it. Yeah. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Ingersoll, Ontario. So I'm 15 minutes down the road in Embrough now. So heading towards Stratford. Yeah. And you had mentioned, too, in the notes, you sent me sort of small town, right?

What's that dynamic, like, for somebody listening that is maybe from, you know, big town? I mean, there's obviously differences in a small town. Everybody kind of knows each other. I mean, what was your take there? It's quiet. You know, it's a small agricultural town. It has everything you need, and it's people are friendly. You know, it's just very laid back.

It's like I was in Toronto this past weekend with my wife and daughter. for a concert and it's just totally different right so you come home and it's quiet and it's i enjoy it i enjoy it here yeah good stuff yeah that's a big uh big shift in environments from there to to to toronto probably probably causes a little bit of unease or anxiety yeah you feel lost right it's just it's a lot of people and you don't know where you're going no the time yeah no not at all Yeah. So back to the sports and everything. So, I mean, you did, you mentioned that too, playing a lot of sports. And I think it could teach us a lot of stuff growing up to be plugged in and everything that kind of comes along with the sports. I mean, did you notice anything that stands out to you when you reflect back to like growing up that could have led you the direction you went with things as far as you're drinking? Yeah, I think playing hockey as a kid, you know, you're always gone at tournaments and stuff. You know, you're playing mini sticks in the hallways and the parents are in the rooms, you know, having drinks late at night and just you're around it.

And like, especially now playing, you know, just beer league hockey. You know, they call it beer league. Yeah. You go and drink beer. You know, you have beer before. You have beer after. It's when I played baseball, same thing. It's just, it's a social gathering with your buddies and.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So where do you go from there? Like, how does school and everything look like for you when you start that and when you're working through all of that, those cool high school and before that days? How does that all look for you? You know, I think I had your typical high school, you know, grade nine, you start going to parties, you know, and, you know, he drink a 12 pack and that'll do you for the night, you know. Yeah. And I could go to a party and I could drink and I'd be fine. You know, I feel like I was a better drinker when I was 15, 16, 17, 18 years old. And then, yeah, then all of a sudden it wasn't like.

Yeah. So it's correct. Yeah. So you're kind of fitting in too with high school going to parties. And I think for a lot of us too, at that point, there's maybe more of the innocent element of alcohol, right? Like, do we really know where this could lead us or is this just kind of what our friends are doing? So we're plugging in and it's a way to get connected. It's a way to let loose, way to have some fun, kind of wild side of things.

I think that it's so natural as teenagers to explore with all of that, not knowing where things are headed. Did you ever notice any differences in the way you went about it as opposed to other people around you? I mean, the first time you, you know, really drank. Well, you mentioned like, you know, when you were a lot younger, you drank and didn't enjoy it but sort of this streak getting into it a lot of people share like two man insecurities fade away they feel more connected they're able to be a part of things anything like that for you or no yeah i was always a shy kid growing up so that was my way of coming out of my shell and uh yeah i i almost needed it to talk to girls in high school or just meet

people it's just i was very reserved and you know you're you're meeting new friends friends and you want to be cool and yeah well that was my way of coming out right so yeah that was your way of plugging in man it's so relatable for me too like yeah the the whole like talking to girls and you know all of that stuff right like that i mean that was it just made it happen it was like everything that i thought about myself of not being good enough or everything like that just it was worth the risk at that point and if i was rejected it was seen like it was much easier to handle when I was drinking. You have responsibilities like we do now, right?

Yeah, that's, yeah, that's a whole other thing, too. So you're going to these parties. Are you doing well in school? I did okay. I wouldn't say I paid attention, right? You know, like late in life when I went to trade schools when I excelled. I was more of a learner. When did you?

So I'm honest. Yeah. I mean, I never really passed a test in my entire life, dude. So I'm with you on that. Yeah. School was never anything that I could ever develop any interest in, even with countless interventions of like, hey, school's important and you should do this. I never, I never was able to.

But when I found things that I was interested in, and it sounds like you too, trade school, like, hey, I'm all in, right? I can get behind this. Did you experience any consequences of drinking in high school? I think just not applying myself, right? It's just like I think you can't go back in time and change things, but, you know, it's, like, I don't think I got in, I wasn't a bad student. I didn't get in trouble with the law or anything. I just, it just was a slippery slope.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's too, something that we might not pick up on all the time is that maybe we were only showing up 70% or 50% in. And there was a lot more to that we could have maybe applied ourselves to. But you're right. I mean, you can't go back and, you know, make adjustments to how we showed up in those days, right? It's like, what can we learn from it to help us move forward? So you talk about trade school.

Was this where you went after high school? Yep. Yeah. So I attended trade school in London, Ontario. And it was the first time academically that I excelled, right? So that was, you know, I felt like I was doing. something positive with my life, right? But being in the trades, you are immersed with booze and everything else, right?

So I don't know if there's tradesmen that are listening to this. They can probably attest to that as well. So it's, you know, we'd have in-class days and then we'd have shop days. So like at lunchtime, you know, we'd go get a picture of beer because it's dry in the classroom and we'd go have a couple beers and go back to class. So it's, it was always there, man. Yeah, interesting, though. I mean, what are your thoughts now on what's kind of connected to two for trades,

whatever trade it is, and drinking too? And I mean, I'm sure there's people, I would think, who don't drink, but there's probably the heavy drinking or frequent drinking you're talking about. I mean, is there something there to put a finger on? I think there is, but I can't put my finger on. It's just, I don't know if it's, I don't know if blue collar mentality is the wrong word, but it's just you see all types in the trades, right? Especially when you get on big jobs, you see some interesting characters.

Yeah. And leaning into drinking is something that makes sense, I guess, for a lot of people, right? A lot of people, yeah, and it's leaning into it and maybe, you know, after work, during work, before work. I mean, I'm sure it can fall on the spectrum, right, of however it is. I come home, I'd take my work clothes off. I'd go to the beer fridge, grab a shower beer, and the shower I go. That was every day, right? How long did you do that for?

Oh, quite a while. How old are you now? You're 30? I'm 30 now, so. Yeah. But, like, I was in the workforce at a young age, right? So, like, when I finished high school, that was just very normal to me, right? You're working with guys that are 40, 50, 60 years old, right?

And you're an adolescent. It forces you to grow up a little bit quicker. But, yeah, I did that for quite some time, especially on those hot summer days. Yeah. I'll come home and that's what I did. Yeah. Do you ever feel like some people talk about write a passage as far as the alcohol goes? Did you ever feel like in the social circles or in the trades or what you were doing?

like that you want to fit in right yeah you wanted to fit in you ever seen anybody that was like i don't drink like early on you know what not really to be honest with it it's more or less now in my life that i'm starting to see it yeah that that's actually out there it's kind of interesting too i think how we pick up on what we want to pick up on you know even though there are people out there obviously like doing trades jobs that don't drink but it's like hey if i'm not living that life i don't know for me anyway i didn't want to see it that other people weren't drinking it was better for me and for my life to say everybody's doing it so i got to do it too right i'm not standing out like any different than what other people are doing what do you what do you think about

sort of these early days of drinking right coming home and drinking every night i mean is there anything and it's very normalized right you kind of touched on that a couple times that's what you're seeing that's what you're around but do you have any thoughts on the inside of like hey like what is there something more to this or you know the money to friday coming home and doing that you know that seemed it didn't seem like a big deal right it was more or less going to social gatherings like weddings and you know where you have an open bar and where it's just okay let's let the bulls run and that's when i really got to trouble right so cutting yourself off that just it didn't exist yeah when you say trouble what what do you mean by trouble let the or like let the bulls run

just like we're we're going full bore here like we're yeah and just it just can like get disastrous right you lose control of it to black out you ever black out like with it or no all the time all the time yeah um you know and like sorry that's my dog you know like you'd drink and then like i'd smoke marijuana too right so if you you'd have 10 beers and then you know you smoke smoke a joint that like multiplies your beers into 20 it felt like and then before you know what you're waking up were you in a relationship at all like kind of early on in this phase here to where somebody else would say like hey what's going on here or is it just cool so i've been uh i've been with my wife for 15 years so she's my high school sweetheart so she's been she's been along for the

ride the whole time right so from day one to now sobriety she's seen she's seen it all but yeah like last couple years she's seen some pretty rough stuff yeah so with how things were but in the earlier days kind of as things progress would you say it was a huge red flag or was it manageable for the most part early on it wasn't I didn't think it was a problem right I think it's later in life now that I get older and you have more responsibilities and I have a kid now is when yeah things really started to click you know you'd get hammered and you know you didn't have those responsibilities you didn't have a house you didn't have bills to pay it's just yeah so like things just just escalate as you get older and that's just becoming an adult right so yeah what when you look back at

this sort of stretch in your life you know 20 till you know 27 or 28 or so was there anything you could put a finger on that was going on with you that had you interested in leaning more and more into alcohol yeah you know there's some trauma you know early in my life My parents, you know, they didn't have the healthiest marriage, right? And just I remember that as a kid, but it's not until later in life now that I'm starting, like I said, put the pieces together. And there's been some medical history with me the last couple years that has really put a hindrance on things mentally as well. Obviously, COVID was kind of the turning point where things really got bad. my best friend actually he's sober as well you know we we did face time for four hours and it'd be

three o'clock in the afternoon and you know you'd be having beers and then all of a sudden you're playing games like hey like take a shot of that and you know and then you know i'd take a shot of something else and before you know it like three hours later you're three sheets in the wind and so that went on for quite some time and it just yeah yeah during COVID too where everything probably for work and everything too right would it came to a halt yeah um yeah so and like Friday it was Friday the 13th there was like the last work I worked and I I lacerated my hand really good at work with a skill saw so I just had surgery on my hand I'm at home you know the world's shutting down it's just I leaned

into it i just i really did and that's when things really escalated in my life yeah people around you start to notice more or you like what were your thoughts too when you're going through this i mean do you do you do you ever reach the spot to where or like when do you because i think we all do if we're going to quit like this isn't working anymore like the thing that might have helped me out is not it's causing too much turmoil now i would you know we'd have a wedding on a weekend or whatever and i would wake up and i would just break down just out of nowhere like i just you know ashamed of myself right it's just knowing how i was around so many people that i love and know and them see me like that right but they you know they're accustomed they were accustomed

to me like that you know it's just i couldn't control it and yeah just flooded with emotions the morning after. Yeah. Mike, I get the sense, man. Correct me if I'm wrong here. But opening up and sharing all of this maybe is not something that you go to every day. This seems like like this is different for you. This is new for you. It is new. It is. Yeah. So that first year of sobriety, I, you know, I did it cold turkey. I did it by myself, you know. My wife just said, like you know nothing you are more miserable now than you were drinking you know like you you need to do something about this and she says like you know you need to talk to somebody and being a man or being a female even you know you you want to be stoic right you want to you want to

feel like you have your stuff together and you know I was so naive to to talking to somebody but it was the best thing that I ever could have done and I'm and I still am man you know It's, I think my biggest misconception was if I quit drinking, you know, my life's going to just fall into place. You know, things are going to get better. And that was my biggest misconception. Yeah. Yeah, great, great job sharing that too about sometimes maybe the stigma that goes into it, right? You need help so you're weak or you need this or you have to get support for that.

But it is so interesting when I think of that, like doing stuff like this is difficult. and reaching out to somebody and kind of admitting that we don't have all the answers and everything figured out. Like, that's difficult. And that is another interesting point you make there too, is like the alcohol is the problem here.

And as long as I get, if I get rid of that, then I'm off to the races. But I think what you sent over in your notes, which I thought was so insightful, is that you get rid of the alcohol, well, here comes the last decade or two decades of life

that we have not dealt with or really even felt and here comes the emotions that we don't really know how to work through everything kind of comes flooding in and for your wife to kind of mention that i mean kudos to her i think for mentioning that too about maybe bringing it to perspective or or saying hey you know what like good job giving up the drinking but man like maybe there's more to this than just giving up the drinking because you're kind of miserable now too right like you know it it was a a bit of a identity crisis, right? You know, I was a charismatic guy, you know, outgoing. And, you know, I lost myself. You know, it's just like, who am I? You know, I just feel like I'm picking

up the pieces of my life and just trying to make sense of who I am. And, and that's where talking to somebody really helped, right? It's just trying to understand why I am the way I am or who I am. And, you know, I just put one foot in front of the other. And I'm still doing that. You know, is going to be a constant thing. Yeah. For a lot of people, they share off and there's no finish line. I mean, you can take it as far as you want to go, right? As far as you want to, I think, personally develop all these areas, right? It could be to the end of time for me, for you. And there's always going to be sort of something to uncover. And when you get to one thing, it's like, oh, man, you know, now we've found maybe something else that if we decide to explore,

it could improve our lives. Walk us back to, you know, when, you know, you quit like what's the story there did you try to moderate things did you try to make sense of it or or how did all of that look too when you when you quit so the final nail in the coffin my buddy was getting married in barbadoes and leading up to that wedding i tried to prepare myself mentally right I tried to tell myself, you know, you need to go there, keep a lit on things. And if you can't, like, this has got to be it. And long story short, I went there and it was just a free for all. You know, it just, it didn't go as planned.

It did not go as planned. So I, and that was it. That was the final straw. Yeah. Was there anything about it or was it just kind of, maybe it made sense or there was clarity or awareness that like hey this is never going to change like i'll never be able to figure it out uh to kind of play within the the lines sort of say with alcohol did you just kind of realize that it hit home or it's just there comes a breaking

point you know it's just so many peaks in valleys and just it goes on for so many years right It's, you just, there comes a point where something has to change. Yeah. I, you know, my body felt terrible. You know, my mind was terrible. It's just I needed to do something different in my life because it wasn't working. Yeah. How much were you drinking like a regular day?

Like was it was beer the thing you drank? Like mostly? Yeah, I'd say beer was like the go-to. But, you know, as nights went on, you know, and social. gatherings you switched to hard liquor and yeah turn it up a bit yeah wrap it up yeah did you mention it to your wife like hey after this trip i'm going to quit or how did that go like was she pressuring you to quit or not maybe not pressuring you have it mentioning no she like no this was all me yeah what'd she think when you mentioned it to her she i didn't she didn't think it would

be a permanent thing right yeah i think she thought it was going to be you know a one month maybe two three months and I didn't tell anybody that I was that I was quitting and that's the fear is you care about what people think of you right yeah so you know that first month second month you know all your buddies are like hey man like it's been a month like you can have a beer now and it's just like oh you know I'll try two months and then yeah that is a really good point too about worried about what people are going to think of us. Where do you think that comes from? Like, I mean, in your life and maybe in general,

like why are we so worried about what everybody else is going to think of us, especially when it comes to not drinking? I think not fitting in, you know, the fear of losing your friends. You know, I fear to losing all my buddies, not seeing my buddies. And, you know, they've been the most supportive guys in my life, right? So it's, you know, I still see them and they've been excellent. And, you know, I've had friends that have even reached out to me, you know, asking for help as well. So it's.

Yeah. So that's, so some of those fears never do actually come true. No, no. And I think that just goes for life in general, right? You just fear everything that will never happen. Yeah. And then it just keeps us stuck. Like if we fear everything that all of this stuff's going to happen, we don't necessarily.

move forward because we're worried about everything that could happen. And then we move forward and realize, okay, it wasn't as scary as maybe we thought it was going to be. Yeah, which is so interesting. See, come back from this trip and you mentioned there too, like your first year, you weren't doing anything. I mean, was there anything preventing you or what was preventing you from, I mean, everybody knows about 12-step meetings and probably knows that therapy is an option or that there are things to plug into. Was there something that, some story that was going on for you why you weren't interested in in checking anything out i just i think i thought i could do it alone yeah i just i just thought you know i just got to give this time

you know i got to ride the waves and just nothing was changing like it's just i was happier when i was drinking i was yeah and i think the loss of identity really had a role to play in that you know i felt uh i felt effective right i felt like you know there's something wrong with me and yeah i isolated myself yeah which is man that's um it's such a difficult battle too when it can feel like we're the only one you know that is going through this or trying to figure this out and doing it by herself man that is such a i mean great for you for making it a year or the timeline there great for doing that but yeah man it's it's so difficult to keep it going and find the joy or try to find the joy the identity is another piece

that really interests me man is um this has kind of been your thing right this party guy after work and hanging out on the weekends and um you know everything like that and then now that's gone how do you navigate those waters I'm still still navigating buddy it's yeah it's yeah you know it's

people notice those things right like they they they know how you used to be you know how happy and cordial and laughing all the time and then to kind of being somebody totally different right you're quiet and just

yeah just totally different person i feel like some days yeah i try and keep myself busy you know my mind busy like i go to the gym a lot i play hockey still you know it's just trying to stay active and trying to stay busy and regimented in my life try and find balance so yeah do you feel like you're able to show up more authentic now even if you are quieter and maybe withdrawn or stuff like that but do you feel like there's some power and that's actually kind of who you are as opposed to to maybe the other person that's pouring, you know, a 12 pack of beer down their throat to be somebody else?

Yeah, maybe this was me all along. And who knows? It's hard to say, this is me now. I'm not going back. So it's. Yeah. But does it feel good? I feel good.

You know, I'm proud of myself. I really am. It's, I didn't think I'd ever get to this point. It'll be, it'll be two years on New Year. which is also my wife and I is anniversary. So I can't forget those anniversaries, right? So the thing that I am proud of is I held it together on my wedding day. You know, I was the one day that it mattered most, I was good.

Because normally at everybody else's wedding, you know, you drink a table wine and. Yeah. Yeah. So that's one thing that nobody can ever take away from me. And I'm proud of that. Yeah. That's cool. How is it for you to kind of express that you're proud of yourself and the progress that you've made?

Or is that something that comes easy to you? No, it doesn't come easy. But I try and do things every day that kind of builds that confidence, right? You know, I try and do things for myself every day. Like go to the gym most days and just try and develop positivity. Yeah. Yeah, just build on it. I think you had said something earlier, like one foot in front of the other, too.

You know, and I think it's a great perspective, right? Because we can get overwhelmed with everything that we need to change, you know, quote, unquote. And then it's like, okay, we're just bogged down with everything we need to change. But you break it down into day by day and things feel much more manageable. And your father as well. I mean, how is that, you know, how is that changed if at all the way you show up or the way you see yourself showing up or you want to be showing up? in that role? I don't want my daughter to grow up in the same environment that I did, right?

So I kind of want to change a narrative for her. It's just when she was a year old, you know, waking up and you've got a splitting headache and you've got a crying baby. It's just that was a turning point as well. So I just want to change the narrative for my daughter. And I don't want her to be exposed to the things that I was exposed, right? grow up in a happy, loving household, you know, just do the best that I can and control what I can control, right?

Yeah. And having a clear mind will allow me to do that. Yeah. Yeah. And being present too. I hear a lot of people sort of as they get older and their, you know, their kids are older on the podcast and sort of in our meetings as well. I wouldn't say it's a regret for them.

Everybody has a different sort of thing. But one thing that they share often about is that they were present. Like they went to the sporting events. They were there for their kids. But they also realized that there's levels to it. Like they weren't really present. They were thinking about going out and party. And they were thinking about this.

They weren't, even though they were keeping a seat warm, I think they reflect back and realize they could have shown up differently. And they want to, you know, and none of us can go back in time. But I think for those of us, I have three young kids too. And I think it's like, hey, you know, learn something from that. And be present now because the impact that has on a child is huge. Yeah. And I think my goals have changed a lot since sobriety.

If there is one thing that I want to do the best is just be a good husband and father, right? If I can do that, you know, we can take care of the other stuff. But that's my biggest goal is just changing the narrative for my daughter. and just positive environment. Yeah, 100%. What are your wife's thoughts now with where you're at? I mean, you've seemed to have found a good level of joy or some joy here and there and the whole journey of sobriety too.

I mean, what would be her thoughts now? She's proud of me. You know, she always has a DD now, which is nice when we're to pose. Like, you know, she used to DD me everywhere. It's just, I think she's, She's, her noticing I'm trying to make positive changes, right? And that's, that's all you can ask for. You know, like, I'm human.

I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. It's just trying to do the best you can. You know, perfection's a moving target. Yeah, that's cool. I think it's really cool when people around us to recognize. Because this is a lot of work, man. It's a lot of work that people see.

And I think there's a lot of work that goes into it that people will never see. And I think it's nice for when people, you know, recognize the progress. I mean, I always kind of look at it as a hair growth. Like, when I look at my hair in the mirror every day, I don't see it grow. But if I don't see somebody for two months and I just let my hair grow this, oh, man, like your hair's growing, whatever, right? And for us being in the thick of it in the battle every day, sometimes it's hard for us to recognize our progress. So it's really cool to hear that, you know, she's kind of relaying that to you. I don't know if that's relatable at all. I'm thinking about

the tradesmen out there, Mike. I'm thinking about the tradesman out there. Like, I'm thinking about the tradesmen out there, right? Hardened. Hardened tradesmen who's not going to share, who doesn't want to appear to be weak, who doesn't, you know, wants to fit into this idea that they got everything figured out. This is a way of life. There's not a problem. All the things we tell ourselves. I could go on and on. I mean, what would you say to them if they pretend I was one, you know, and came to you and was like, hey, man, I think I, I'm drinking too much, man. I wish that somebody would have did it for me. So it's, yeah, I don't know, Brad.

It's just, it's hard because like I said before, you want to be stoic and kind of not show that anything is wrong on the outside and that you're not struggling. Because I think men have this perception that you're weak, right? and that's not the case at all. Yeah. So I guess ending that stigma will be the biggest thing. Yeah. Yeah, which is, I mean, there's so many layers to it. And I think maybe it's something that keeps, it's like a survival thing.

It's out there, buddy. Yeah, like it's different, but it's like, okay, you think if you, if you show your true colors, right, it might all be kind of exposed. But the flip side of it is, is that you stay stuck. Like, if you continue, carry on with what maybe once kept you in survival mode, I think you eventually, or we all eventually, I eventually hit a spot where that no longer served me. It was only holding me back. It wasn't going to help me go forward. But, yeah.

And I think maybe you just living your life, right? Like, you living your sober life. And then it's not to change other people. It's not to preach sobriety, but it's to show that. If people see how your life is changing and how opening up and talking to people like you shared with therapy, but all it's done for you and how important it is, hey, maybe somebody will say, maybe I'll give it a try. Who knows? Yep, exactly. And it's just, it's nice that people do take notice of those things, right?

It does help your confidence, you know, that, you know, when you quit drinking, your complexion's better. You don't look puffy. It's just, there's things that, it feels good for people to recognize those things, right? That you're making positive change in your life. And it's empowering to other people, right? And I've felt that through friends and family as well, you know, just them reaching out to me. And I welcome them with open arms, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, great, man. Great story, dude, of where you were, where you are now. And I think one of the big reasons I've picked up is why you're doing all of this is you want to change things for the generation, you know, they're making that generational change. I think a lot of us as we kind of look back in the in the family tree or the dynamics, right?

I mean, alcohol has just played a solid role, man, for a lot of people in the families. And it's kind of like this time in the world, this time in life right now, it just seems like a lot of people are waking up and saying enough is enough. Enough of not healing, enough of us ignoring what's going on and working on healing. so that our kids don't have to follow the same path, you know? Nobody wants that for our kids, but I think it's just, it happens, man, it just does. Well, you know what things are like in the world right now living so close to me in Canada. You know, the economy's bad.

You know, price of living's high. It's just people are either going to lean into booze at a time like now or they're going to, you know, make a positive change and learn from it, right? And maybe. Yeah. so there's two ways you can go with it yeah exactly and i mean times are things are expensive and all that leaning into i mean the alcohol is so expensive man i mean you probably have a you probably have a treasure chest under your your basement floor or something man with all the money you're saving hey yeah like it's so expensive man you look at that too right as difficult as things are

but like i don't know what a case of beer costs now what would be i don't know 55 dollars or something here. I think a good one would be like $80. I mean, it depends, right? Like what you, but I don't know, I see them at Costco,

but they're bigger packs, like 60 packs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so 100 bucks. And then, I mean,

you consistently go out. I mean, I was a daily drinker too. And when I think back, it was like, yeah, man, it was no wonder

I didn't have any money, man, any loose change. And I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes, too. So they kind of went hand in hand. Me too in high school. Yeah, so it was like, okay. Yeah, well, thanks, man. And a great job with everything you're doing, man. I really appreciate you. You're reaching out and sharing, man. I think it's really good, man. I mean, people in construction trades, it seems to be an industry that's hit pretty hard, man, from, you know, drinking. So I'm happy to hear people speak out because I'll be honest with you. It doesn't really happen too often, man. Oh, it's not even just booze, right? It's opioids and cocaine and everything else, right? It's,

substance abuse in general. Yeah. Yeah, it's good that there's people out there changing. Any thoughts for closing, man? Anything to kind of send us on our way, you know, hopeful, inspired? I think just make the first step, right? It's just you don't have to do it alone. It's just go talk to somebody and do it for yourself.

And just that's my biggest regret. I was going the first year and just putting myself through that without any support at all. I think just reach out to somebody and talk to somebody and it'll do wonders for you. Yeah, beautiful. And we'll drop your contact information for people too, maybe if they're on Instagram or something and send you a note, right? Yeah, buddy, for sure. Yeah. Okay, cool.

Anything else that I missed? I don't think so, Brad. I think we covered her, buddy. Okay. You're excited for the holiday season coming up? Yeah, boy, my daughter's super excited. She saw Sam last night. Oh, yeah?

What's on the list, man? What's the big item for this year? I think Barbies. Yeah, okay. She loves Barbies. So she's been before November, so it's an exciting time, right? She has a standing better. That's cool, man.

Yeah, the joy of the holidays. Cool, man. Really great hanging out with you today. Yeah, you as well. Thanks, Brad. Well, there it is. Another incredible episode here on the podcast. Huge shout out to Mike.

Like, seriously, huge shout out to Mike. I taught with Mike, too, a little bit in the episode there about, like, this kind of felt like out of his wheelhouse, you know, from where he was, that first year of sobriety doing it on his own and then his wife coming to him, like, you are more miserable. Now than you were, you need to figure this out. And I think that's the truth. A lot of the times when we just remove the drinking.

and not working on any of the other stuff or sharing or being a part of something or talking with somebody maybe the other things don't change or they're not really brought to the surface but Mike did an incredible job so cool so cool um I don't know if Mike will listen to his own episode I'll have to check with him but I'll drop his Instagram contact information down in the show notes as well as the link to check out the super motivation community don't forget to leave a review on Apple and Spotify, or sorry, and or Spotify, and I'll see you on the next one.