Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Alcohol Free Life with Jason and DJ.

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, host Brad catches up with Jason and DJ for updates on their sobriety journeys. Jason discusses the transformative impact of quitting alcohol on his personal and professional life, including his role as a new business owner and a father. DJ shares his progress since their last conversation, highlighting his involvement in mental health coaching for hockey players and his personal growth in sobriety. Both guests emphasize the importance of taking life one day at a time and surrounding themselves with supportive communities. Jason on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesoberbuilder/ DJ on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/djaymcgrathhockey/ 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:45 Jason's Journey Begins 01:47 Life Changes After Quitting Alcohol 04:24 Challenges in the Construction Industry 08:39 The Turning Point: Dry January 19:33 The Emotional Struggle of Quitting 25:24 Reflecting on the Journey 30:18 Closing Thoughts and Gratitude 32:47 Catching Up with DJ 33:27 Reflecting on Personal Growth 34:29 The Journey of Sobriety 36:02 Overcoming Challenges in Sobriety 37:29 The Role of Hockey in Recovery 39:35 Supporting Young Athletes 41:14 The Impact of Social Media 42:52 Family Support and Relationships 45:19 The Power of Sharing Stories 46:00 Embracing Sobriety and New Opportunities 49:59 Hosting the Mental Health Hockey Tournament 51:03 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

How's it going, everyone? Brad here. Welcome back to another update episode on the Subur Motivation podcast. On this episode, we've got DJ and Jason, incredible stories. Thank you so much, guys, for jumping on here and sharing the updates with us. It's been incredible with the update series to hear how people's lives changed and how giving up alcohol and substances once felt so impossible, like we would just live our life, knowing we have a problem, but being okay with it in some sense and just kind of continue on. And then people give themselves a chance, put in the work, and their life completely changes. So check out the updates from Jason and DJ.

I really enjoyed these chats. Love these guys so much. Now let's get to it. Welcome back to another update episode. Today we got my good buddy Jason with us. Jason, how are you? I'm good, brother. How are you?

Thanks for having me. Yeah, man. I've been excited to get this on the calendar for a bit to connect with you. I mean, give us a quick snobes. snapshot of where things are at. I mean, we first connected on the podcast feels like years ago. Yeah. I shot my shot with you at six months. I was like, hey, man, can I get on the podcast? It's been six months for me and it's been transformative. And kudos to you. You respond to you. You're like, yeah, let's grab a spot. And we've been buddies ever since. But it's been

great, man. It's been, I say it all the time. But I've made a few good decisions in my life. But this one was by far the best. Yeah, which is so interesting, too. A lot of people share, you know, like the first big mountain to climb was maybe given up to drinking, but we had no idea and couldn't comprehend necessarily all the other benefits that would come into our life because of making that one decision. Amen. To walk away.

What are some things you've noticed in your life that really picked up speed when you could drink in? Jeez, dude, everything. Like, everything. It's unbelievable. All of the attention, energy, and focus that I was putting on drinking, what I was going to drink, how much I was going to spend, who I was going to drink it with, where I was going to drink it with. All of that took time and energy. And having all that time and energy back has been crazy.

So for me, I stopped drinking like the year after I purchased my company that I was with for 22 years. And that first year of ownership, I was still drinking. And I just wasn't as sharp or on the ball as I wanted to be. And I had two young kids who were now three and five. So I'm a new owner of a thriving commercial construction company trying to keep all these balls in the air. I have two little ones at home. I have a wife, I have family, friends. I have my health and wellness, which is important to me.

I was trying to balance all that. And it was just, the drinking was just like this huge impediment that I had wanted to stop for the longest time. But all of the aforementioned reasons that I just brought up are really what pushed it over the top for me. So all of that time, energy and the resources I was putting into the drinking, I transferred over to my health and wellness, my business, my wife. my children. And it's been incredible, man. Like, the thing that's most mind-blowing to me that I try and relay to people that I know that are trying to quit is like, you are going to, at least for me, I can only speak for me, but I am so much more motivated. I have so much more ambition. I have so much more discipline. I have so much more drive. And like, it's not by happenstance that the last couple years

of me quitting drinking has like sent my life into orbit like it's been progressively better each year like the last couple years like on new year's eve i kind of ruminate it on and then would think like how the hell is next year going to get better and it has year after year and it's just because i'm not dragging around that anchor that i was dragging around for way too long yeah the gift that keeps on giving so true yeah yeah bringing up the construction background too. That's a tough one, I think, for a lot of people. What's your experience, like, being, you know, in that and sort of, you know, any message for

people that are kind of in there, you know, doing that and maybe getting sober? Yeah, so that's my entire world that I've been around for 25 years. So I'm 44. I started at my company at 19, pushing a broom while going through college, bought the company 22 years later, have owned it for three years. Being surrounded by that stuff is all I've ever known. I remember the very first time that I stepped on a job site. We were building a building and I was upstairs on the second floor sweeping out and lunch break came and everybody ran out to their vehicles.

And I decided to eat lunch in the building. Well, at one point, I look out the window and I see two different guys who were known alcoholics, but two different guys with coolers right between their seats, the front seats, and they're just drinking. At one point, I watched a guy kill a six-pack, and this is something this guy did all the time. He was a finisher, so he installed spackling and prepped walls for paint, and he was just a known alcoholic. And I watched him kill a six-pack, come back in and work. I watched a guy do a line, a Coke off a hood. And it's like, and I'm in commercial.

So it's a little different. Like residential, it's been my experience that it's a little more rampant because I have to be in occupied office buildings, doctors offices, these sort of things. So oftentimes we work in occupied buildings. A typical job for us might be on the fourth floor of a skyscraper where we're building a whole new office. So there's definitely drugs. and alcohol, but you do have to keep it together because you are amongst, you know, the working

folk professionals. But residentially, if you're building the house out in the woods, forget it. I mean, it's no holds bar. So that's just kind of all I've ever known. And every day after work, guys were going to the bar. And what I realized at the time in my late teens was most of the guys that I was surrounded by were middle age, out of shape, divorced, or did not like their wife and alcohol or drug and ate like shit. And it was like, dude, if I stay on this path, like, this is going to be me. Now, thankfully, what buoyed me from diving into that right away was that I did always care about my health and wellness. Like I, from a young age, I knew that when I exercise, I feel good.

So that just became kind of addictive to me as well. So like, if I didn't, frankly, if I wasn't vain and I didn't want to be that out of shape, 50 year old, I 100% would have dove into that because that's what's all around me. And then by proxy, just by association to all of that, unfortunately, suicide is a big part of construction as well. the suicide rate is four times higher in construction than any other industry. So a lot of times construction, unfortunately, is the last case or worst case stop for some people, right? Like you get out of rehab, you get out of prison, forget it.

Someone will throw you on the job site and show you how to paint a wall. So there was a lot of that. But I also knew that if I did take care of myself and then, if I did, frankly, go in the opposite direction in that, there would be a high level of success. It's easy to become the 1% in the construction industry I have found. And it got even easier when I stopped drinking, you know, almost two and a half years ago. Yeah. Well, yeah, two and a half years.

Wow, time flies, man. Dude. A day 837, I think it was. I just looked it up this morning. My last drink was the year's eve of 22. Yeah. And I wanted to do dry January, which I had done many times. But for the last several years before quitting, every single morning I'd wake up. And I was like, this is ridiculous. Like I just, I got to stop this because if it was two or if it was 22, I was like, what the hell is the point? Like, I feel like shit. I wasted the whole next day. I got two young kids jumping in bed with me. It's like, now I'm grumpy, anxious. So I was just like, you know what? I told people around. me I'm like I'm gonna do dry January again and that was really kind of where it stood at the time. I didn't know that I was gonna go beyond that but Had a couple people around me that decided to do it with me so that support system was good and then at the end of January

Historically on February 1st it was like but I felt so good and I noticed so many Positive things that that were happening in my business and my life and I was like finally finally for the first time after about four or five dry January. So I was like, why don't I just keep this going? Like, if I feel this good for dry January, I can't imagine how I feel after dry February. And then after February, again, was like, why don't I keep it going? Then it was like middle of March. It was like two and a half months.

And I was like, wait, I think this is really, I think this is for me, man. Like the pros so far outweighed the cons that I was pretty committed. I didn't know if I could do it, but I was committed. And I just kept stacking those days. So when four, five, six o'clock came and I was sometimes really dying for a drink, I just tried to distract myself exercise. A lot of it was sugar, you know, when you first stopped. So I'd go to Dairy Queen, get a Blizzard.

No, Dairy Queen did not sponsor this podcast. They should have, but because I spent way too much money there. And then I just knew, I heard N. Milet say, just try not to drink for one more day. And that's kind of what I just kept in the forefront of my mind. I knew that if I could get to sleep, and sometimes you just go to sleep earlier, you're like, fuck, and I'm just going to try going to sleep earlier to kill this craving. But I knew that if I could get through the evening, that I would not regret it the next morning. And in fact, I would feel proud of myself.

And I did. You know, as soon as I would kind of come to when I woke up, I was like, you know, day 30, 30, whatever it was. And I just kept kind of stacking them. And then I just, my big worry was summer. You know, what am I going to do there? But I thought if I could get enough foundation under me before summer, then I would have the kind of strength that it took. I did. And then at six months, I was like, so right, he's great. This is awesome. I want to tell everybody. Like, I just want everybody to feel this way. And that's when I found you, it was like,

hey, can I get on? And so it goes. But in my heart and in my head, I'm done. But like, like, like all of us, I'm still taking it day by day. Yeah. And I think that's such a powerful message. I mean, I think as humans, we want to have all the answers kind of before we get started on something. You know, we want to be motivated. We want to. We want to. We want to. We, we, want to see the roadmap, but I think the reality is sometimes it just is, you know, very often in this journey is just for today, right? We're not, you know, we can worry about the weddings and, you know, the summer that's right around the corner, um, all the birthday parties, the New Year's, like, we can worry about all that stuff. But the reality is we just got to do our best

today. That's what we have right now is today. And I think that that's just a really a good mindset that people tap into that helps them be successful in this is to just do the best job they can today. And if you kind of step back from what you shared there. I mean, it's a couple hours of the evening, right, that you have to find some tools to plug into to work through, you know, and kind of do whatever it takes, right? Go to bed early. distract yourself. I mean, who doesn't, you know, love a blizzard from time to time. You know what I'm saying? Stuff like that, right? For me, it's a couple hour. It was a window. It wasn't all day. And so it's not like I was kind of beating all day. It was, you know, four to seven or eight o'clock. And,

if I got past that, well, there's no sense drinking now for me. Yeah. I think for a lot of people, too, I think that's what it was always for me, unless it was maybe a football and I could, you know, act like I was interested in watching football, but I was just interested in drinking beer, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have actually cared less, but it was kind of a permission slip that, you know, other people were doing it, kind of like my normie friends were, you know, kind of getting way out of line. Then I could just slide in there and, you know, kind of. back the pool real quick and be fine. Yeah, just keep things going, right?

Yeah. Now, I love that too and like all the changes that happened. But I mean, you know, you share there in six months. You're experiencing all these benefits. I think when we're drinking, too, we don't necessarily connect the dots to not drinking is going to improve all these areas of our life. I don't know. We can't see it or what it is.

But you're waking up every day. And I mean, when you zoom out a little bit and look at it too, waking up. up, not feeling good. And then you share having so much more success and so much more plugged in and motivated on this side. It makes perfect sense. When we wake up and we have that anxiety that's just haunting and won't go away until lunchtime. And that's how we start our day with just the adrenaline, the fighter flight and everything. And it's just like everything kind of piles on to start our day. You know, every day's not great. But it's like, come on. I mean, to get that opportunity every morning to wake up with a clear mind and a different vision for things changes

everything yeah when i quit i thought all i was doing was eliminating something from my life i had no idea the amount of beauty that would come into my life i just that's not something that you um that i was privy to or even really heard people say you when you think of quitting drinking you're thinking okay, I'm going to go along in life and now I'm just going to stop drinking. Well, how am I going to deal with my childhood trauma? How am I going to deal with my PTSD? How am I going to do with my work stress? But you find ways.

You know, you find what works for you. And for me, it was really dialing in my personal development. For some people, maybe it's finding their community, you know? community is a big part of that. I'm a little bit of a lone wolf. So like the beauty of connecting with you is that, you know, I could, frankly, I could be a recluse to get through my journey, but then still plug into the community and listen to the podcasts and read and to definitely surround yourself with like-minded people. And something that I tell everybody who asks me kind of how to do it or what it's like in the beginning.

I always pull something that you told me almost two years ago was when you tell somebody that you're not drinking if they applaud you or congratulate you or think that's great. Those are your people. and the people that peer pressure you or wonder why you're doing it or tell you, come on, just have one. Or what are you doing? We're in construction. This is what we do.

Be a man. Those are not your people. And that was something that you said the first time I was on that, dude, every single time I tell somebody, or they asked me, I'm not running around telling people. And I'm still cognizant of how they. respond and I still hear your voice telling me that we were talking before this I was at a networking event in New York City and I was by far the smallest fish in this pond there was a lot of big time successful people around there and only a couple asked me if I was drinking or if I wanted a drink

or the conversation organically came up a couple of times and all of those people to a man we're like, oh, good for you. That's awesome. You know, and I have learned that people doing better than you will never criticize you. That usually the people that are, you know, a lower frequency, a lower vibration, they want to kind of bring you down to make themselves feel better. I did it. I've done it. You know, I go to a game, go to a bar when I was drinking.

And if you told me you weren't drinking, it was like, what do you mean? Come on, man. So I was the asshole. I didn't know that at the time, you know, but I wanted myself to feel good. I couldn't imagine going to dinner and romanticizing a bottle of wine with my wife. And she says, I'm not going to drink tonight. I was like, get angry. Like, what do you mean?

Like, this beautiful bottle of red. It's fucking nonsense. It's just like we romanticize this poison. And I think one of the greatest things about this generation is, um, it's okay and arguably it's cool to be sober yeah well 100% yeah especially if you see the numbers of like the younger generations how much less of alcohol they're consuming yeah as opposed to you know maybe hours and in in and above yeah i i owned a brewery years ago um probably about 10 years ago we opened it and we closed down post-COVID but that was something that never felt right to me

was making poison and selling it to people you know they'd come in with their families and I'd see these jovial families like out there playing cornhole hanging out and I was like this kind of crazy dude just gave me eight bucks to dump poison in this body that could potentially kill his family on the ride home. Like, this is, this is crazy. So the drinking never felt right to me. I did it because I wasn't comfortable on my own skin, you know. I was just trying to run away from my feelings. But when I, when I faced them head on, I took up transmeditation. I have a morning routine. I lean into that stuff now. And it's been transformative. Yeah. I love all of that, too. But,

back when you said like the biggest fear when we quit drinking is ever, is like what we're giving up. You know, and it's like it's such a, from where I sit now at the time, it was overwhelming, but it's such just a limited belief we have. It's just a limited belief that we have that if we give up drinking,

well, there goes the fun, there goes the connecting, there goes all of these things in our life. But what we gain from it is enormous. Like if we plug in, if we do the work, right?

I mean, me just literally saying, I'm not drinking. If I don't do any of the other work, Like it's probably, I've done that before for me anyway. That was much more miserable than just drinking, right? Not doing anything else, just choosing not to drink. It was like, oh my gosh.

Like it was only a matter of time before I kind of fell off of that. But I think doing the work and plugging in and answering sort of those bigger life questions, right? Why was I drinking in the first place? Why did this make sense for me? And like what you just shared there to like uncomfortable, you know, and that was like the biggest thing. The first time I ever drank up until that point in my life, I was extremely uncomfortable in so many ways. And obviously there's layers to it.

And I'll never forget it at that first party, man, when I just popped open that cooler and they had this juice mixed up. I mean, I was on top of the world, man. I felt comfortable for once talking with everybody, making connections. And I was just like, man, where have you been my whole life? This is what I was looking for. But that doesn't last, you know, like that. The novelty of that all wore off.

And it took more and more. And it just became extremely miserable. to where I just wasn't enjoying it, although I didn't know what else to do. Yeah, that's true. When I think about the very first time that I ever drank, it kind of makes me feel quite emotional because I honestly hadn't thought about it in,

I don't know, 25 years or something, But yeah, yeah, I was in a back of a car and some friends were driving and they broke out a bottle of Jack Daniels. And I'd seen my family drink and I'd see all the chaos that it could create. So I kind of stayed away from it. But I was in high school and we were driving around in a friend's car that pulled out a bottle of Jack and we're passing it around. And it got to me, I was like, oh, it's a lot. Oh, the shit. Like, no way. Like, I wasn't interested, but I did it. And bro, I was like, after the initial yuck factor, I was like, wait a second. I feel like, and we kept going and I just kept succumbing to the peer pressure. And after, you know, several sips, I was like, man, I feel like I'm putting on like a suit of armor. I'm, you know, I'm chatting with everybody. I'm feeling confident. And, and it was just all false. You know what I mean? mean like for the first time i didn't have to worry about my childhood trauma or i didn't have to

i didn't care what i appeared to be like to other people in public and uh yeah that was dangerous dude because um it just got worse from there you know and that wasn't me really you know what i mean like that that was not me like I was uh because I got mean you know what I mean like I became the meme drunk who would black out easily and that's not who I am at all and um it was tough I had a lot of people be like dude you are someone different when you drink but I just kind of took it as like a badge of honor I don't know you know like well that's just another mask that I put on fucking deal with it. And I was just causing

chaos around me and screwing up relationships and yeah, it all started because, A, I thought I wanted to fit in and be cool. And then B, it was like, ah, this is

this is, this makes me feel good, but not everything that makes you feel good is good for you. Well, yeah. That's the truth, man. Yeah, it's, you know, a lot of it too, man. I look back at my story and I'm like, a lot of it was timing, man. It kind of came into my life.

Weird enough, man, the perfect timing. I think I was on this quest, you know, as a teenager to find a way to escape what I was going through. Like to escape all of the noise and all of the insecurities and not feeling good enough and everything else. And, you know, when I plugged into alcohol, just at the time, it just all made sense. You know, it all made sense. It checked all these boxes and sort of the, weight of the world, I just felt it kind of fall off my shoulders. And I think it does that for a lot of people. And then I think there's guys like us and people like us to where we're just looking

for more, man. And the longer we keep alcohol in our life and reach for that easy solution, that cheap solution to what's going on internally, the more we get accustomed to it. So the less we plug into these other things. That was my situation anyway. I wasn't plugging into therapy or to mindfulness or to anything else that was productive. I was just like, why just spend $5 and it all kind of gets washed away? And I didn't really plug into other stuff, you know, and that's why I taught with people, too, or kind of noticing a slippery slope with alcohol in their life. And I'm like, look, the reality is, the longer you keep it around, the more likely you are

to lean on it heavier and heavier and heavier, even though that might not be the situation today. So quitting alcohol and walking away can be, you know, huge benefit, massive changes. Jason, anything, any other thoughts you have before we scoot? Well, just to kind of piggyback on what you just said, I think the best way to explain it for me was that when I found alcohol, it was like I found my new best friend. And then when I was quitting alcohol, it felt like I was losing my best friend. And I remember driving by the beer distributors and the restaurants and the first couple of days. And like at one point I cried.

I was like, like, I can't believe I'm going. home without my best friend. And that really messed me up. But you realize that that friend just wants to take you down. You know what I mean? Like that friend just wants to drag you down and not see you do better.

So my thoughts are that I have so much gratitude for getting to where I am today. I always thought in my mind that I could do anything that I put my mind to, anything in life. Except quitting drinking. I was always like, okay, I guess I'll be a successful businessman, a good husband, a good dad, but I'll just drink too much. And so to get here, I am extremely thankful and grateful. and I just hope and pray that people out there that want it do find a way to get there.

One day at a time, the best advice I can give, you know, like keep stacking those days. Plug into how you feel emotionally and spiritually because you'll start to realize while I'm losing this, I'm gaining this, and then just really focus on that. Don't focus so much on that. I know it's difficult, but as a father to young kids, I thought it was quite contradictory of me to be giving my kids rules and drawing lines in the sand on things they can eat and can eat, things they can and can't do. But when it came to me quitting drinking, that was just a flimsy rule. You know, I was like, ah, well, I don't have to listen to that. But so I just kind of told myself like, you don't drink now. That's just not something that you do.

And it's not easy, but pay attention to all that you're gaining when you quit and really lean into that. And do it your own way. Just find your path, but just know that it's going to get a whole lot more better and beautiful and just keep staff in those days. Yeah, that's so true. Yeah, find out what's working for you and plug into that. One quick question, though, because you just had me on another thought.

When we do, like you mentioned there, too, about I can do everything. in my life and be successful in all these other areas, but I'm just going to be the person that drinks too much. And it feels like that impossible hurdle to climb. A lot of people share that maybe as they went, it was a lot smoother and maybe like easier just for the lack of like better words than maybe we thought it was going to be. When I quit drinking, I thought this was just going to be like, man, this is going to be so impossible because I tried so many times and it didn't work. So I was like, this is just never going to be a possibility, but I got to be honest, as I started to kind of plug in and get help and support and got out of my own way, I have to report back that it was a lot easier than maybe I was even thinking about. You know, it was still difficult, but it wasn't like that impossibility a word that I attached to it.

Like, what was your experience with that? Same. I couldn't have said it better myself. Yeah, I thought that, like, it was. this insurmountable mountain that it was going to climb and it was just going to be just awful the entire time and just a struggle. And every day I was going to want to quit trying. And to your point, it wasn't that. We kind of gained some momentum. You kind of gain traction. You gain footing with who you now are. You start to identify as somebody who doesn't drink. You know, and

And that's kind of something too. Like, if you want to be sober, just tell yourself, you're a sober person now and just kind of go that way. Because, you know, all the negative self-talk of, like, well, I'm an alcoholic or I just like to socially drink and this is going to be so hard. And just constantly repeating to yourself that, like, I can't do this. This isn't who I am. Just kind of tell yourself, this is it.

I can do this. And this is who I am. And I'm going to identify as somebody who is sober. you know, do 25 push-ups in the morning, then that's it, and say, I identify as somebody that worked out in the morning. But then that starts to kind of gain momentum, you know. Yeah, building. Well, thank you, Jason, so much, man. Great to see you. You as well, brother. Before I go, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate our relationship. You have been the most important person in the entire world to me getting here.

And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, that don't quit doing what you're doing because I'm just an average guy. So that I know that if you're that important to me, you've got to be very important to many others. So thank you. Don't stop. Keep doing what you're doing. I love you. Thanks, buddy. Appreciate that, Jason.

Well, thanks for letting me be part of the journey, man. That means the world. Likewise. Well, there it is. Jason's update. great work Jason. It really stood out to me. A lot of things in this conversation with Jason stood out to me, but one of them really being, that he kind of got to a place in his life where it sounds like any way that he accepted the fact that he was always going to struggle with

alcohol, like he would be really good in so many other areas of his life, but he would just always be somebody who drank too much. And that is a very common story. We hear a lot. And it's also a common story here on the podcast and in the community and overall conversations with people that a lot of us are able to kind of keep it together. Like it looks like we're keeping it together. We're making progress here, making progress there. But I think it's only when we actually quit and we get that clarity, you know, maybe three months in, six months in, maybe after the first year that we realized we were leaving so much on the table that we just didn't. have any idea how alcohol was holding us back from pursuing our goals, from showing up in the way we wanted to, for being authentic, for living with integrity, and all of our values were suffering

because we decided or were deciding to keep one thing in our life. But when we walk away, we have the opportunity to change so many areas. Of course, it takes time. None of this happens overnight. We always have to remember we didn't get to where we got. overnight. It took time. It was progressive. And it's going to take time and be progressive on the way out too. But give yourself a chance. Thanks again, Jason. Now let's hear from DJ. Welcome back, everyone, to another update episode with my good buddy DJ here today. How's it going, man? Good. How are you doing, Brad? Yeah, I'm doing well, man. I mean, summer's around the corner, at least in Ontario here. I know you guys had some snow a little while back, which is just terrible.

but yeah I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, you know, it's actually snowing right now. We had a couple good days. Snow is melted, but this morning we got snow. So we never know. We're going to get in Saskatchewan.

So, yeah, it's been a long winter. We're excited for summer. Yeah, man. We were just chatting before we jumped on the record here. We, that we met for the podcast recording.

You've got it right down to the date, May 23 of 23. What have things been like with you since, man? Yeah. And like we were chatting me Bradwick, it's crazy how much a guy has grown. I was like about eight months sober when we first chatted. And it was like the really first big podcast for me.

You giving me that shot. And looking back, I moved to Saskatoon. I'm back to where it all kind of began for me when I first struggled. And it's been awesome. I'm with a couple more hockey teams being the mental health coach. Get my fourth annual mental health three on three classic hockey tournament that I got on. and I brought it back to Saskatoon, and it's crazy, man.

And we always talk about how much people have grown. And when I listened the other day on that podcast, it's crazy when you take it one day at a time and the opportunities you come, pretty big deal with myself. I sign with a pretty big hockey deal with Bauer. But yeah, things are good, man, just about three years sober. So taking it one day at a time, man, but life is good on my end. Yeah, well, thanks for the quick update there. Looking on the inside, man, when you listen back to the show there too and sort of that growth,

what sticks out to you? You know, I think it's me feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts and my feelings and being more authentic and real, I think. I could remember I was nervous and stuttering my words and I wasn't really comfortable in my own skin at that time, Brad. And now that I'm just about three years, I'm more confident in my own skin. And I got more knowledge in my sobriety and I know it works for me. So little stuff like that and I know how much a guy learns during that time. And it's crazy how much a guy grows. So when you take it that one day at a time and work on yourself every day, it gets, it get that much easier.

So it's crazy, especially that part of it. Yeah. I mean, as you go, you build, you know, obviously that confidence and sort of get more maybe honed in on your story, but also maybe accepting what was in working through that as well. You know, the way life was for us, like I just don't believe it to be coincidence for a lot of us that struggle with this, that, you know, one day it was just something that we just fell in love with and brought a destruction to our life. I think there's a lot of stuff that, you know, maybe happened before. And I mean, for your story, too, it's in hearing it and knowing it that there's stuff that goes on.

But when we get sober, it doesn't magically make all that stuff okay. but I believe it gives us the opportunity to plug in and look at some of that self-development and that work on the inside that we need to work on. I mean, what's that been like for you? Yeah, and like you said right there, I think it's not like a flick of a switch where everything is going to be okay, right? I work on myself every day. And with me, I know I'm a little bit different. I'm being vulnerable. And what I do is I share my story. And I've been sharing my story on my 68 school doing it that way. And just me being a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit real with my thoughts and feelings. Like the first thing in the morning, Brad, is I pick up my phone,

I journal. And I've been doing that since the day I got sober. And I got a pretty easy going life, man. I try to not to bring drama in and I'm not stuff like that. But yeah, I still struggle. It's not, it's not like I'm good. I just know how to deal with it now, right? And I have the right support. And yeah, it's a lot easier now. Yeah, to plug in. It's like I was talking with somebody else to about when we have the substances in our life that becomes the easy reach like every time we're reaching to that and every time we're reaching to that we're avoiding developing maybe healthier ways to work through emotions or deal with stress or rejection or other things in our life but then when we take that off the table right we jump into this life of sobriety now that's not there anymore

so we're kind of in you know it's kind of like that double-edged sword too right it can be really difficult at times because we don't have that, you know, easy, cheap escape. Now we're sort of forced to find other ways. What are some things that have been most helpful for you to stay on this track? Yeah. That's really important. I think me is getting back into, I've been getting back into the game of hockey. I think that is the number one thing for me. Brad, I'll lead the game for years just because of my drug and alcohol problem of me resenting the game. And now just me surrounding myself with a good people and I was the skills coach for a U-16 AA team and and being a mental health coach. I'm on the ice every day and then it's crazy and it goes back in the day like you said like

the drugs and alcohol trying to freeze your feelings and everything. That was me. I did that for for 10 plus years and I didn't know how to talk. I didn't know how to ask for help and you're right. And even even victories, Brad, even when I have a great day, you know, when I do something good, it's like, what am I going to do to celebrate, right? It's usually you grab that bottle, not anymore. So I do other things. I go for walks. I pick up my phone.

It's all those little things that really make a big difference in my life. Yeah. And plugging into the gym, I know that that's been a big part of your routine, especially getting into sort of this, this newer, I don't know if it's how new it is for you, but this newer thing of, you know, starting your day that way, plugging in with the community too. I think there's that element there of right, having mentorship. in role models and people to look up to, I think has been really helpful for you as well,

just guessing from afar here. Yeah, I know 100%. You're right on at 6am club. I'm at the gym and surrounding myself with the right people. Everybody got ex-hockey guys that have a story as well. And it's good. I love it. It's good for my mental health waking up and I'm not going there to look good or like

back in the day where I had to work out as mandatory to do fitness tests and everything. And now I'm free and I'm comfortable going in there. and working on my mental health. And yeah, going to the gym is huge. And obviously giving back to the community, helping all kids, especially athletes. It's a big, big stigma going on, especially in sports with speaking up everything.

So I use my experience, my lived knowledge, to help all these athletes. Not my wish I would have had when I was struggling. Yeah, on the athlete and the kids, you know, the up-and-coming generations, what makes it so difficult for, I mean, the athletes, but I think this is probably across the board for young people in today's world to share what they're actually struggling with. Like, what makes the barriers

there for them that makes it difficult to talk with people? Yeah, and there's a couple things to do with that. And obviously, everyone's different, but judgments. That's a big thing. Social media, I'm scared of what your buddies are going to think about it, especially as a young kid, right? And I'm going to get back to this athlete thing. I work with tons of athletes. And I'm big about being vulnerable, right? And I'm saying if there's anything bugging you, reach out to your mom and dad, reach out your support system. But half these kids are coming back to me, Brad, saying, well, I'm scared to tell my dad or my mom miss because they're more competitive than I am or they don't want to let them down. So that's a big barrier is what to say to mom and dad.

What are their reactions? You know what I mean? So it's very important to have guys like myself, like you, have that lived experience. so these kids could go to without judgment. So it's big and especially hockey nowadays, how competitive and crazy it really is and all this social media stuff. It's that big fear of judgment.

And you know when people, especially a man, right, when you're talking about your feelings, asking for help, your buddies want to think less of you. That's just an automatic thing these young kids are doing. But yeah, this life right now,

man, this world's pretty crazy. But yeah, it's mental health is very important nowadays. Yeah, I mean, thank goodness, man. I mean, growing up, my first phone didn't have social media on it. Like, that just is a big wrench in the tire for people. As much good as it brings it also, there's also that flip side of the coin, too.

Things can travel really fast. We see the stories all the time about how it's affecting, you know, young people too and how they're learning and how they're adjusting and just sort of, it kind of can feel like, I would guess, like somebody's always always. watching and things can travel fast. So if you slim up or or miss out on one thing, yeah, then it can go fast in the wrong direction. And the sort of the sad reality of it is, is social media really pushes forth these big shock stories or stuff like this, right, that a lot of people react to that's not always the most positive thing. Interesting,

you bring that up too, right, about kind of going to parents and going to other supports. You know, I think there's one thing to where parents are always like, they're always there for us and they'll always support us. But I always wonder sort of that example, too, that we pick up on. Like, are they sharing their emotions? Are they being vulnerable in their conversations and in sharing with us? Are they being vulnerable with us, too? I think it kind of is that unspoken message, too, about why maybe it's difficult. That's why it's great, man. You're out there sharing at these schools. And I mean, a big part of your message is like, it's okay to not be okay, but let's just have a conversation about it. You know, so many people, even the work I do, finder's just so scared to have that, even just to have that conversation, you know, because there's so many barriers kind of between our ears to do it. Always curious, man, to your family, your mom and dad, or a big part of your story, right, where you got to go in there and you're like, you know, I need some help. And really, I think it changed everything for you just to be able to let your guard down and share with them. How have things been going with that relationship?

it. You know, it's stronger than ever. It's, I get tearing up ever even thinking about and talking about it, man, because they did save my life. And they didn't really know much about mental health. And I don't blame them back in the day, right? And they're learning just as much as I am. And obviously, they're one phone call away, man. Like I said, I call my mom every single day. And my dad, I call my dad every day. And they make trips up to Saskatoon and come stay with me. for a weekend and I absolutely love that. So yeah, our relationship is is stronger than ever. Mom's best friend. My dad is my role model. And yeah, it's awesome. My two brothers, man, we're stronger than ever, two. My nephews, that was the biggest thing with me was both my nephews,

10 and 7 years old, big hockey players, big baseball players and me being a former athlete. I was supposed to be that uncle, right, helping help my nephews out and I wasn't there during my drug and addictions. And now I love it, seeing them and watch. going to watch them play hockey and giving them gifts and stops. So it's awesome, Brad. It's definitely a life changer. I'm having a family like that on my side. Yeah.

And I mean, it all, which is incredible too. I saw for Christmas there. I think he got some sticks for the team and everything. The kids and stuff. You know, that's what it's all about.

But I think it's that message that you send is such a strong one, man, that you have to open up and let people know what the heck is going on with you. If we want them to be able to support us appropriately or to be there for us. You know, I think a lot of times we can get caught up and wondering why people aren't helping us

and why they're not supporting us and why this and why that. And the reason is they have no idea what the heck is going on with us because we're not sharing it. We're expecting them to be mind readers. So sharing with people about how they can help us

on our journeys can make all the difference of getting over that hump and just getting out of our own way and having that conversation can really change a lot of things. It's the best. You know, 10 plus years strong of exactly that mentality with me, Brad, scared to speak up. You know, I was waiting for someone to come save me.

But you're exactly, I was supposed to, how are people supposed to know when I was painting a picture on my face? But like I was telling everybody, June 6, man, one conversation saved my life. One, not one conversation, me surrendering. And it was the best thing I've ever done. And then just me putting in the work and me just being real. You know what I mean? That's the most important thing.

thing is just being real and and helping because everyone has a story, man. But hey, I tell everybody if your story, you can help both that one person that's listening. You know what I mean? That's powerful is sharing stories and being vulnerable is the ticket. And it's important. So I'm very passionate on this stuff, man. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, no, man.

I love it. Isn't it so interesting how at one point in time we thought like our struggle with substances and alcohol, drugs, whatever it was, would just constantly be like a dark cloud over our head. Like some of the stuff I did and the trouble I got in, I never thought I would be able to shake it. I thought it would just haunt me forever. And although there are things that obviously, you know, we've done we're not proud of, but we've shown that we can come back. And it really becomes a massive asset, I think, to our life.

You know, it's the weirdest thing. It like flips around to where we have that mentality and that mindset now. If we were able to overcome that, literally nothing in our way that we can't do now. But it was one thing that felt like impossible. Like literally a sober life to me felt impossible. It was it was outside of my understanding. But then when you get sober and you've been sober for a while, like substances,

it's just like that's impossible now to live that life. It's so strange how it shifts, man. A funny story, man. Yesterday we're at, we're at home sense, man. wife's favorite store, right? Home Sense, Winners, all that stuff, man. And so I'm sitting in the, I came back from Home Depot with a couple of the kids. She went in with one of the other kids. And of course, kids, when they're growing up, they want to be a police officer or a firefighter. You know, that's sort of my little boy. That's what, he wants to be a firefighter, but he was

talking to this police officer. And she comes out and then they're like, oh, yeah, we love, you know, police officer, blah, blah, blah. Long story short, she was like, hey, you guys want to see in the car and see all the tools, right? Really cool. She's showing them in the parking lot, you know, the trunk and the backseat and all this stuff. And I'm just thinking about like my life, man, where I used to be on the other side of those conversations. And I'm just like, this is wild, man. I mean, she's showing, she's getting stickers of the dogs and playing cards and stuff for the kids.

They're all fascinated. They're turning on the lights. They're running the siren here in the parking lot. And I'm just like so grateful, man, for me personally, like just to not be living in the shadows not to be living with this big secret anymore. And to have made the changes, man. Any thoughts on that for your own story? Yeah, dude.

100% and me going back in my hockey career. You know, I was a hockey player. I wasn't known as just DJ. It was always, hey, this is my buddy, DJ the hockey player, right? And when my career was done cut short due to my mental health, I thought the world was over. I thought I was an old buddy. my identity. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know if anybody was going to like me, Brad.

It's how easy that is when all that drugs and alcohol just took over my mind and everything. And you're right. It's crazy. But it's those little victories, hey? Just like that you said yesterday, it's those little victories. My little victories, man, it was two days ago, we had her first rain. And waking up at going to the gym at 5.30 in the morning and smelling that fresh air, like, you know, back in the day, I would still be up. And I wouldn't appreciate those little things. But yeah, man, it's, it's those little things that you appreciate. Even going to restaurants and going to patios.

And this is the year where golf course is open. This is where patios are opening. This is, you know, this is a beer drinking weather. The barbecue is opening, you know, and that used to trigger me all the time. And now it's just like I have more fun barbecuing without having an alcoholic beverage. I absolutely love it. And yeah, it's crazy what. how much time you work on yourself and now those substances that you thought you needed your

whole life that you needed to get by on is in the back burner now. So yeah, life is, it's good. It's over, man. I got all this opportunity and I got my life back. I tell everybody, I got my life back because I am being real. So it's good, man. Yeah, those wins, man. All those wins add up. And now you mentioned too, you're back in the big city and hosting your tournament too. You know, shedding light on on your story and you bring in other people to other speakers as well. I'm hoping someday I'll get the invite, man, to be a part of the big tournament. Yes, you will, man. You have to.

Honestly, it's great. And it's dead. It all came from a little ideal. I wanted to give back to the hockey community. And yeah, three on three got mental health with people and experiences, former athletes, non-athletes come in and share stories, the seven to 16-year-old. So it's nothing but fun, man. With something I wish I would have when I was younger,

we got tunes blaring during the games. We got professional play-by-play announcers for the kids. We got customized jersey, swag bags, prizes. And, yeah, it's tons of fun. So, yeah, we got to get big Brad to come out. It'd be unreal. Come to Satsky, man. It'd be awesome.

We've been talking about it for how long. Years, man. And it's an incredible thing you're doing there. Just moving towards wrapping up, man, is there anything that you want to mention that we didn't chat about? I think we kind of attacked everything, Brad. I mean, just kind of from me to you, man. You know, we first met, what was it at?

Two years ago in May there and you're kind of one of the guys that's, we stuck together, right? You're a guy called. The guy to our Monday phone calls and stops. So it's crazy. The people that you find during your sobriety, I'm big into that, right? You can't get sober by hanging out the same crew. We talk about that all the time, right?

And I had to do that. I'd go down my lonely path. I'd have to leave my buddies behind and to leave room for the right people that want to help you grow. And Brad, you're one of them, man. And I just want to say, thank you, dude. And then life is good, dude. So you meet the right people when you're on that sober journey, man.

So anyone out there who is struggling, it is okay to not be okay. I always say it. It is okay to be sad. It's okay to be mad. It's okay to have a bad day. but pick up your phone and talk about it. So yeah, that's appreciate it, Brad. Everything you're doing, man.

It's awesome what you're doing too. So thank you. Yeah, beautifully said, man. Yeah, and thank you too, dude. I always look forward to a good chat with DJ. One of these days we'll get together. You know, it's so powerful too, man, that just asking people for help, you know, just reaching out and talking to the right people.

But I find a lot of value in what you just said there too is I think at people get on this journey of sobriety, but they have reservations, man. They're wanting to keep things in their life that don't serve them anymore because sometimes, well, not sometimes a lot of the time, I think it's easier to live comfortable and know the outcomes, even if they're detrimental and destructive, because the fear of the unknown is a real thing. But I love that, that you brought that up because I believe that we do have to let go of things of the past, because the cup can only hold so much water. And if it's filled with everything that, was, we're not going to be able to find out what's to come. We're not going to have room for that

for the new friendships or the relationships, the opportunities in our life, whether it be career or whether it be personal development. If we hold on to that old belief system that's kept us stuck, we're not making room for what's to come. So I think that we can relate to in so many areas is there's some things that we have to let go of. Do you have something, Brad, that besides obviously people, do you have anything that you could share that you had to leave behind? That was hard. Dude, I mean, I was kind of forced to leave everything behind, except for myself, right? But, I mean, limiting beliefs, of course.

I mean, I always leaned on that story I told myself. I mean, I failed every test I ever took. And I graduated high school from a rehab. I mean, you know, I went to the psych ward for, you know, different things at UNC Chapel Hill a couple times and I was a convicted felon at 18, you know, six times and getting convicted felon again at 22 and I started getting in trouble when I was 16 and on probation. I mean, you name it, buddy. I mean, it was limiting belief after limiting belief from real world circumstances. So, of course, I didn't think I was going to, you know, amount to a whole heck of a lot. How long,

did it take you to get over that? Like, I know it's like, is there, do you remember, time frame where you finally like started accepting Brad of who you are in your path? I mean, I'm still working on it, TJ. Yeah, for sure, for sure. As life changes. But I mean, I think when I started to surround myself with the right people that believed in me, you know, after I went back to college and I started working with people struggling with addiction and I started to kind of find my purpose and my value and other people who

valued my opinion, even though I didn't have a bunch of letters behind my name, you know, people that were like, hey, you know, I mean, your experience is important. Your experience is beneficial to other people. You could help people. And I started to really connect with people, you know, on a different level. It wasn't maybe based on superficially what I thought relationships were. Like, I thought the way I was going about friendships and relationships was just completely wrong for so long. You know, but I didn't know better.

It all comes back to like, you only know what you know, man. You know, you think you know a lot. but the longer and longer I'm kind of around than every day. I realize I know less and less. We're just kind of a good thing. Yeah. So, I mean, I think it was a gradual process of kind of the rebuild, right? One foot in front of the other, scraping my knees along the way, taking chances, you know, things not working out, but not quitting, you know.

So it's like they were in some repeat, but I had to do a complete rebuild, you know, from basically nothing. When I moved back to Canada, I got put on a plane and I had a cardboard box with cards from my grandmother, my parents, like, whatever. That's all I had. That's all I owned. I didn't even have shoelaces in my shoes. And they were like, yeah, you're going here. You know, so it was like that forced. I didn't have to.

I mean, in a lot of ways, it was a blessing, though, DJ, because I didn't have to worry about talking to buddies. I didn't have to worry about how I was going to figure it out in this small town. And I didn't have to figure it out. So like, at the time, it was like, oh, my. my gosh, this is the worst thing that ever happened in my life. But when I look back now, I was like, thank gosh, that was the best thing that ever happened in my life. I wouldn't change it for a thing.

I would do it all over again if I could end up where I am today. But sometimes when we're in the thick of it, we can't see where we're going to end up. But we have to trust the process that if we keep putting one foot in front of the other and making the right choices, that we're going to end up in a good spot. Yeah, I love that, man. 100%. 100%. Love that, dude, because it's so true.

And then you could, it's crazy, eh, when you're, when you're in the thick of things and you think it's all over. But you're right. I'm happy I went through my past. I wouldn't be where I am today, you know, but when you're in it, you don't realize that, right? And there's so much, so much power in that, man. Adversity, adversity, right?

And bouncing back and taking a negative to a positive and giving back, sharing Brad's experiences, sharing my experiences. That's the new ticket because I. I don't know, you could probably vouch for me back in back in the day. There was nothing. And then I school, I remember, man,

there'd be mental health people coming in and they just put a picture of a guy on East Hastings or, you know, a guy, but there's like, how didn't the guy get there? You know? And we never got taught that now.

It's just like when you hear these stories, it's so powerful. And yeah, I'm thankful or I am today. And I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my past too. So thank you for sharing that. Yeah, of course.

Powerful. Thanks, DJ. You bet you, man. Thank you. You've had you, my boy. There it is. Another great update from DJ. If you listen to DJ's first podcast, he hinted on it there in the episode as well.

I mean, the confidence has increased and, you know, the growth has been really incredible to watch DJ grow and all the stuff that he's pushing his comfort zone to do and deliver great messages for people in his community and on social media as well. I'll drop both of these guys handles down on the show notes below. If you enjoyed the updates or have any questions for them, be sure to shoot them over a message. Thank you again so much. And for everybody out there who's struggling and you just can't seem to get some traction or things aren't making a whole lot of sense right now, the biggest thing is to keep it simple, reel it in,

and just do the best job you can do today. Let tomorrow, let next month, let all of that stuff take care of itself when it gets here. The only thing that we need to be focusing on is today, doing the best we can today, staying sober for today. And I hope that it will be helpful for you. Sometimes, oftentimes, we get ahead of ourselves. What am I going to do there? How am I going to do that? All of this stuff in the future.

Just live for today. See you guys on the next one. Story episode next. Have fun.