Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Alcohol was David's best friend, Sobriety Changed Everything.

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, Brad interviews David, who shares his raw and emotional journey from a challenging childhood growing up in New Mexico. David excelled at football, but after an injury, it was time to hang up the cleats, and his alcohol drinking escalated. David describes alcohol as his best friend, and it wasn’t until he was faced with losing everything that he decided to make a phone call that would change the direction of his life. This is David’s story on the sober motivation podcast. ------------ Connect with David here: https://www.instagram.com/tomorrowsdope/ 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast 00:32 David's Early Life and Family Background 02:26 First Encounters with Substance Use 03:28 Struggles with Belonging and Early Substance Use 06:33 High School Experiences and First Drinking 08:55 College Life and Fraternity Challenges 12:18 Football Dreams and Setbacks 14:55 Post-College Life and Early Career 29:15 Coaching and Early Signs of Alcohol Problems 36:15 Relationship Struggles and Deepening Addiction 39:24 Reflecting on a Serious Relationship 40:29 The Path of Destruction 42:14 Coping Mechanisms and Realizations 48:50 The Turning Point: DUI Incident 55:44 First Steps Towards Sobriety 59:04 Embracing Sobriety and Support 01:12:11 Life After Sobriety

Welcome back to season four of the sober motivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. In this episode of the sober motivation podcast, I sit down with David, who shares his raw journey from a challenging childhood growing up in New Mexico. David excelled at football, but after an injury, it was time to hang up to cleats and is drinking escalated. David describes alcohol as his best friend, and it wasn't until he was

faced with losing everything, that he decided to make a phone call that would change the direction of his life. And this is David's story on the Subur Motivation podcast. Welcome back to another episode of the Subur Motivation Podcast. Today we've got David with us. David, how are you? Doing good, Brad. Thanks, man. Yeah, man. I'm glad to connect with you and have you on the podcast to share your story with us. Absolutely. I'm super excited. Yeah, so what was it like for you growing up? Man, growing up was interesting.

Both of my parents worked for the Indian Health Service, and their goal was to get to Santa Fe, New Mexico. So that's where I spent my childhood 18 years. Kind of a small town is probably about 60,000 when I was living there in the 90s, early 2000s. And we lived on a dirt road kind of in the foothills. So I had a couple neighbor friends. but, you know, definitely not your suburban neighborhood full of kids and stuff.

So a lot of alone time and try not to ever be someone that blames others. But, you know, my dad was into some partying as well. He's got some addiction stuff to that, you know, his own demons. But just kind of remember that being his priority, not really having a lot of, you know, father-son time that I always kind of want. wanted and dreamed about. But anyhow, you know, elementary school was kind of cool, but being a 6-6 white boy in New Mexico, you're definitely an anomaly. Just always trying to fit in, trying to find a crowd that would just even want to be friends with me. And that kind of led to a lot of mischief.

Again, I don't like to point fingers because, you know, I was right there with it. But I just remember kind of not being the best kid when I look back on it, just trouble here and there. I remember I did get putting cuffs my first time for shoplifting a pair of sneakers when my sister took me shop and I thought that would be a swift idea to get some new kicks that day. But it did not work out well for me. So kind of my first run in with the law there. But yeah, man, it's kind of weird thinking back. I feel like part of my addiction is definitely genetics. She remember being the kid that liked to get dizzy, man.

I would spin around in circles in this room in our house as hard and as fast as I could and just lay on the ground and be like, this is cool. The whole room's spinning and this is fun and I'll just do it again. And then, you know, I was kind of a snoop as a kid. I remember finding my mom, she traveled some and she had these like old cigarettes from Russia and man, they were weird. They're like these no filter cigarettes and I remember sneaking those off in fifth, sixth grade to smoke a cigarette and just catch a buzz and be like, oh, this is cool. Yeah. I remember, you know, early 90s, skateboarding was super cool. That was kind of the crowd that I idolized and I got into some rollerblading. So I'd be down at the skate park. And that was the first time I smoked weed was at the skate

park, probably in sixth grade. And thankfully, it didn't work. I remember my mom picking me up and just like, I don't think I got high, but I'm ready to do that again because I know that it will. Yeah, listen to that too, though. I always go back and a part of my story, too, where I struggled with life long before I discovered, like, substances, alcohol, and drugs. With some of that maybe stuff you kind of talked about belonging, fitting in. I moved, you know, a different sort of situation, but I moved from Canada all the way to Waco, Texas when I was six years old, you know, and it was a big, it was a big shift.

And it was probably like, that's like first, first, second grade type time. and I tried to fit in and get to know people, but people had already grown up in the neighborhoods and had their friend groups. And it was really hard for me to make friends. I remember I always had one friend, this one friend growing up, but it was a tough time.

You have a sister as well, though? Yeah, I've got an older sister. She's about around four years older than me. She's definitely my person. It's kind of neat. You know, now later in life kind of rehash in some of our childhoods. struggles, but yeah, she's doing well. She's awesome. Yeah, so yeah, that's go back down memory lane,

right? So, how are you doing in school? Like, are you enjoying going to school? And you shared that, too. You grew up, like, down a dirt road, so, you know, isolated in a sense, right? Not like suburbs, community type stuff. So you probably had to find a lot of things to do yourself, too. And when did you start playing football, too? Kind of a double whammy for you. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, thankfully for me, Academics came easy, man. It was, it probably gave me a big pardon when it came to getting in trouble. It was like, well, I still had good grades, even though I was in detention. And I remember that all the way through high school, like my AP math teacher, he did detention as well. And I'm sitting there with a A in his class and seeing him after school for detention. He's just shaking his head. Like, when are you going to get this right, man? Yeah, I mean, school was fine. We had a basketball team. I'm not good.

of basketball for being six foot six. So it really wasn't much fun for me. But it was something to do and I enjoyed it because that was an identity. I had friends there. I had, you know, guys to call my teammates and also had coaches. That's something I remember more of my childhood is my coaches, really, other than, you know, my parents and, I mean, you know, great parents, but I just remember learning most of my stuff from my coaches. And football, where they practiced was like a good 20-minute drive from our house, but it was down by the mall and stuff. So we'd drive by and I'd see these kids, hey, man, like, mom, they're playing football. How come I can't play football? And finally, she caved in, I think about fifth or sixth grade. She signed me up for football. And, man, I was, you had to

pull me off that field. Anything the coach asked, I'm a dude. I'm a dude. I'm a dude. I'm a do it and I'm going to do all of it. So that's when football started for me. Yeah. Okay, cool. So you mentioned there too, you started rollerblading. So you're involved with, were you 6'6 in high school? Yeah, man. Yeah, I've always been. It's funny, my shoe size always matched my age until I was 16. So I've always been the big kid. Everybody's so football came easy, you know, and New Mexico's a different demographic. So being the tall kid was easy. Yeah. Yeah, that's wild, man. So you get into this the skate park, right? And this is kind of your first time smoking pot type of thing. And then when's the first time you get into drinking? Is that in high school or no? A little bit.

You know, like I said, growing up in Santa Fe's, it's pretty liberal, progressive. But it, in high school, you're kind of the weird kid if you didn't smoke weed. So smoking weed, was just normal, smoking weed, smoking cigarettes. And if you didn't, then you were on the outlier. And I wasn't about to be that kid. Alcohol never really, I just didn't enjoy it. I remember my sister when I was in eighth grade, she was a senior in high school. And she finally took me and my neighbor to a party. And I think we were drinking, is it red dog? That's the got the red bulldog on the can. It's like a white can. But I just remember, you know, Everybody's, it's high school.

So you got to kind of B-Y-O-B and nobody wants to give up any of their stash. So I remember one guy kind of got me three, four beers. And man, I actually threw up in the back of my sister's car on the way home. And we had to pull up and clean that up. But for me, it was like a big turnoff at the start. You know, it wasn't much fun because you couldn't function. And whereas opposed to smoking weed, like, now I'm in it. Now I'm in tune. I'm ready. I got energy. So yeah, in high school, it was, I remember drinking some Captain Morgan's, some Malibu.

Senior year, I think some people started bringing around like hypnotic and stuff like that. But to me, it was just gross and I just kind of turned my nose at it. So yeah, for me, it was always smoking weed. That was, again, you know, you got a stoner crowd to hang out with and everybody's, you know, this is what we do. Yeah, yeah. And where do things go for you after high school? Man, after high school, I was, like I said, you know, a pretty decent athlete on the football field was Allstate. I had some letters. Again, you know, I had good grades and had some Ivy League offers. That was pretty cool. But I just couldn't really entertain the idea of an Ivy League curriculum and then still trying to play sports. So my dad's family is from Arkansas, from a small town called Mina.

And every summer we'd come back to Arkansas and I'd get all my cousins. And that was where I really felt like I fit in was when I was here. I just love something about the summer air at night in Arkansas just kind of sets me alive, man. So I had an uncle that was a big booster for the Arkansas Razorbacks. and he also did the radio spotting for the Razorbacks. So he was really plugged in and he thought that I had a chance to play here. And, you know, I don't know how familiar people would be with college football, but playing for the hogs, that's kind of the nickname for the Razorbacks is the Hogs.

You know, we're in the Southeastern Conference. We play Alabama. You play Auburn. You play all the big guys. And it's the real deal. And I just wasn't that guy physically. I was too slow, too small, and not strong enough to compete at this level. And for whatever reason, I don't know if it was just the family pipe dream that our son's going

to be a Razorback. You know, we grew up being Razorback fans. I've got a funny picture of me as a little kid dressed as a Razorback. And I had a chance. The coaches took a chance on me as a recruited one. walk-on. So you get a little bit of preference over the other walk-ons, but I was not a scholarship player. But that was the goal. That's where we're going. So it was every other college, every other opportunity was just kind of pushed aside and you're going to go be a racerback. That's what we're

going to do. Yeah. What position did you play? I mean, I played tight-in and a defensive line. So it was coming out of high school, I weighed about maybe 220 pounds. And they wanted me to come into camp about 250. So I was trying to put on 30 pounds of just whatever I could in my last year, my senior year of high school. I've never been in that spot before. But is there a lot of pressure, too, that you might feel or I don't know if people are mentioning stuff to you, but that you feel like you've got to go here and make this happen? I kind of knew in the back of my head, like, this ain't, this isn't going to work out.

So yeah, family pressure for sure. You know, my uncle, again, he carried a big name and some weight with him. So it doesn't matter. If someone looks at me, you're an athlete. You know, this guy can play. And I'm like, man, you don't know. You don't know how hard those dudes work. You don't know how gifted they really are.

So it kind of felt like I was just, you know, the clock was ticking on this letdown. that y'all ain't going to see me out there so yeah definitely felt that yeah did you practice and stuff with the team or how did that go like once you got there no so kind of interesting st patrick's day my senior year of high school we go out to this canyon it's called diablo canyon and it's out on some BLM land which bureau land management so that's where people go party so all my friends are getting together St. Patrick's Day. And a lot of my buddies were rock climbers, and they're, you know, scaling this big canyon wall and we're down on the riverbed, just drinking beers and smoking.

And you had to scale this, I don't know, 20 foot boulder to get up to where everybody was rock climbing. And I was like, well, I got to get up there now because I want to see my buddies do this. And in my just arrogance, I start climbing this boulder. and I fall and coming down, I landed straight on my left ankle and fractured my left ankle. So late in my senior year, I now have a surgery to repair my broken ankle. And, you know, setback number one was right there. I wanted to take a year off and just rehab, you know, put on weight, be ready to come into camp strong.

but for whatever reason my coach thought it would be a good idea to enroll in the university as a part-time student because your eligibility doesn't start. So again, I just went with that. And I showed up to Fayetteville, Arkansas at the university, and you're supposed to live in the jock dorms with all the other football players. And I go to enrollment and they say, okay, you're in Humphreys. And that's not the jock dorm. not where I'm supposed to live.

And she goes, they scratched you off the jock dorm. You're in Humphreys with just the general population. And I'm like, man, that's, you know, okay. And then I go to the stadium to the offices to try to find my coach. I said, you know, where's he at? Oh, he went to the Patriots last week. He didn't call you. No, nobody's talked to me.

No, I tell me that. So here I am. coming off of ankle surgery, part-time student, my family's, you know, 900 miles away, no coach to guide me. And yeah, I had no idea what I was doing. Yeah, wow. So all this is new coming in real quick for you. Yeah. Did drinking pick up for you in college? Yeah, man. I mean, that first year, I tried to stay pretty steady. And, And, you know, thankfully, at least with drugs and alcohol, you know, I'm not the best at finding it or pursuing it. It's just kind of, if it's there, I'll do it.

You know, no questions. But I was able to stay pretty straight and narrow because I was still really kind of focused on making the team. So I was just really doing my own thing, not really making any friends. And then I had two friends that I hung out with and they were all going to go through. the fraternity rush. And that was the last thing that I wanted to do. You know, I had the stereotypes of the fraternity guys. It's you're paying for your friends and you think you're just so cool. It was not going to be my thing, but they said, yeah, man, we're all going to do it. We'll be pledged brothers together. We're all going to be in this one fraternity. And I said,

okay, if that's the deal, let's do it. So we sign up, we go through rush. Just a super weird experience. I've never felt more out of place in my life. I could hear people making fun of me just for literally the way I'd dress because I'm not from here. I don't know what this is and I don't even know what I'm doing, literally. So, and then I show up, you show up for bid day. You go through three days of a selection process and then you get a bid to be a pledge in a fraternity.

So I show up on bid day. My one buddy, Josh, goes somewhere else. my one buddy Andy goes somewhere else and here I am with a bunch like dudes I don't know and what am I doing but we went straight from the bid day and they took us out to the river for a keg party and I think one thing that I've always kind of prided myself on is that if I'm doing something like I'm going to do it well and I'm going to do all of it. and I'm going to get, you know, all in on this. And unfortunately, that turned into drugs and alcohol.

But I just remember they were doing keg stands at the river. And these, you know, college, juniors, seniors that are more veteran than I in drinking beer, they're counting their keg stands 10, 12 seconds. And I'm like, man, get out of the way. here I come and I mean I'll probably sat on that thing for a minute and instantly I had friends man this guy can drink this guy's got it going on that's our guy and I was just like okay there it is and now you're in the fraternity so I mean there's not a day that goes by that there's not a bunch of beer sitting around I mean everybody's got a mini fridge packed full of a beer

and I even remember I didn't like beer. I didn't like the way it tasted. I didn't like the way it made you feel. But I knew that this is what we're doing. They said, all right, Miller Light, that's the beer we drink. And I'm like, that's nasty. But Miller Light, it is. So out of fridge full of Miller Light.

And then another friend, you know, months later, oh, you got to drink Coors Light. So, okay, Coors Light's better. So here I am the Coors Light officianto. So, yeah, man. And that's when it picked up. to where, you know, you just get kind of used to it. Yeah.

Let's go drink beer, you know. Yeah. Yeah, just because of everyday stuff. It's so interesting, too, that you look back and you connect the dots because I can relate to that a ton. The first time I went to, you know, one of these college parties and all, and I had this whole struggle growing up with fitting in. It felt like I belonged and people liking me and then I went to this party made a complete disaster, but people seem to enjoy it. Like they like they enjoyed the entertainment. It brought us

together in some sort of sense. And I once I got that feeling, I was like, this is going to be a problem. But for now, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah. Yeah. So, so weird, so wild how it happens. Yeah. And then yeah, then it just grows from there. Absolutely. So you and your three buddies went into this and you guys were all supposed to be under the same roof, but you all got separated? Yeah, man. I'll stay. Clearly, I haven't let that one go. I know one guy, he went to a fraternity that was not the best. And he wound up dropping out of college.

And then Andy, my other buddy, he's still around. I still see him. We're still buddies. So it was an interesting thing, man. Yeah. So you kind of get into this and then, yeah, into mix of things there. I mean, are you still doing well in school? I was doing all right.

You know, like I said, part-time student. So I think I only have like three classes. So yeah, I mean, we're getting A's and B's. But the crazy kind of setback number two is, you know, it's doing the fraternity thing. But hey, I'm still going to play ball. I'm still going to make the team. And I'm still going to make everybody proud. And we finish up my freshman year. And I remember calling my mom like, hey, school's over. Time for me to come home. And she said, no, you're not coming home. Go get a job and get a job. And get a apartment. Okay. So I worked at a golf course in high school and I said, I'll just do that again because that's one of the best jobs in the world is being a cart boy. Like if I could retire and be a cart boy, I absolutely would. And again, you know, lots of beer drinking there. But so I'm driving to the country club in Fayetteville. I pick up a job application and I go back. You know, this is, before smartphones where you still had to look up numbers and actually call somebody hey man do you still you know where I look up the address but when I went home to do the job application it rained

kind of a you know just quick rain and the streets get real slick and I'm coming back after the rain to turn in my job application and the country clubs on top of this big hill with the sharp 90 at the top and I turn on that street and I fish tail. So I'm like, okay, these are slick. And then I look up the hill and here comes a construction truck full of sand and he's out of control. And I'm thinking, this guy's going to fly off the hill and I'm going to call 911. But he gets it back in line. So I start driving again. And man, the moment our bumpers cross, his car goes, like 90 or his truck goes 90 and just slams into mine. I'm the worst at wearing my seatbelt, but thankfully I'm 6 foot 6, so my head hit the roof liner, my shoulder hit the A pillar,

and I survived. I walked away from it, but it was a horrible car wreck, and it jacked up my back to the point that I've got like a permanent condition in my spine. And that was when it was back to physical therapy. And at that point, I just knew football's done. Like, there's no way you're going to come off an ankle surgery, and now you're 19, and your back's messed up. And I just remember calling the coaches and talking to my uncle that I'm done, man. There's no coming back from this to compete at that level.

I'm too far behind the eight ball to really get this back on track. So that's when sports were done for me. Yeah. What was that like for you emotionally if you'd worked like you'd been involved with this, you know, for a while, right? It was kind of was the thing. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I was ready for it.

Kind of like I said, you know, it was just kind of a, you know, ticking clock on when this letdown is going to happen. And I think for me, you know, we put so much of an emphasis on sports, especially down here in the south you know football's king but i was miserable for a while i mean even in high school trying to put on weight you know you're eating six to eight thousand calories a day and just trying to get big and go work out and i remember my senior counselor bless her heart she was such a god sin she just grabbed me one day and she said what's wrong with you you're not your normal bubbly self what's happening and i said i'm just tired of eating like i can't

eat all this food to try to gain 30 pounds. And so I think honestly, I was just, it was a relief that we're done. You know, there's no more effort to put out. There's no more workouts. There's no more nasty protein shakes, you know, all that stuff is done. So I felt a relief personally, but, you know, I kind of knew the disappointment that was going to come as well. Yeah. Yeah, so where do you go from there? Man, I was ready to move back home. I really wanted to just get out of that situation. Didn't want to be in school.

I just wanted to go home and figure out, you know, what to do from there, because at least I could go home. But again, my parents just said, no, you're going to finish college. And I remember that semester, I didn't go to class at all. I got a 0.0 and I don't know how I didn't get on any kind of academic probation, but I was still part of the fraternity. So here I am. And all the energy that I poured into sports, now it's just poured into the party, man. I don't know how, but I was able to finish college. It probably took me the better part of six or seven years with a lot of summer school just to get that degree.

but I did it. And I've always had a job. You know, I've always had a job. I remember getting a worker's permit at 14 to work in the restaurants. Not a good idea for a kid with addictive personalities, but, you know, I've just always had a job. So I held down a job to at least pay rent and pay what bills I could. And I remember graduating and everybody's, you know, what's your plan? and I'm like, dude, I'm working nights at the beer plant loading the trucks. There is no plant. And out of that car wreck kind of backtracking, we got a little bit of a settlement from the insurance. And my mom, she's a real business app.

She started a real estate company to where we were buying a couple of rental houses. So that was my job was I'm the property manager for the. these rental houses that, you know, basically my mom owns. And then I'm working nights at the beer plant. And there just was, there was no direction. But I remember I had pretty much always had a girlfriend. I think that helped me with some identity that like, well, I've got a girlfriend and trying to think, I guess basically I was self-employed, but not, you know, fully employed or

gainfully employed. and I remember the health care mandate came out to where you had to have health care. And the first thing I got, my mom sent me a job working for the city of Fayetteville. And I had a actually one of my Pledge Brothers was working there in the same division. So he got me an interview doing code enforcement. We deal with people's properties, cleaning them up, mowing the yard, dealing with vacant houses. stuff like that, kind of keeping the city clean pretty much. But man, it was the most boring job, but it had health care and it had somewhat of a paycheck, but okay, now I've got a job.

And I don't think it wasn't too long into that work was so boring and uninteresting. It's like, well, how do we make this better? Well, let's go get some beers at lunch. You know, And it was, okay, well, it's Friday. Friday is a good day to go have a couple beers at lunch. You come back to work for a couple hours. It's the weekend. And it was always, it was my buddy's going to laugh. I've got my buddy Blake.

It was, hey, man, meet me for some Coors Light. And this place had these killer mini corn dogs. They were like miniature corn dogs. And that was my diet was like two Coors Lights. and a basket of many corn dogs. And looking back, I don't know that I could stomach those things right now. But yeah, I just remember, you know, a really boring, unchallenging career, if you want to call it that. But, you know, I did well enough that kind of some things fell in place to where now I'm running the program.

Now I'm the administrator for the program. So I've got an office and you're no longer an hourly employee. So you don't have to clock out for lunch. So my lunch breaks turned from, you know, one hour on the dot to, well, let's get one more beer to, man, I've been gone for two hours. My boss ain't even at work. Let's say a little longer. So I remember that being a real slippery slope with alcohol. Yeah. What are you thinking about as far as this being a problem for your life at this point? Has anybody ever mentioned anything to you? Yeah, I do remember. So, when football was kind of done, you know, I love football. I think there's so many life lessons

that you can learn from being involved in it. And at some point, I was able to start coaching youth team. So I coach football fifth grade, up to eighth grade for about six or seven years. But one of my fraternity brothers did it with me. And we'd go to work and then we'd go meet We had Applebee's down the road from the field, and we'd slam some Coors lights and go to practice. And we always joke. We'd say, that's coach's coffee, you know, or coach in a bad mood. He hasn't had his coffee yet. So we're drinking beer, coaching these kids, which, you know, looking back is just pretty

shameful. But, you know, I was still in my 20s, so nobody's going to tell me any better. but I remember I had this girlfriend for about four or five years and we were actually split up. But somehow through the grapevine, she heard that we were drinking beer and going to coach these kids. And I remember coming to my house and she just said, I just want to talk. And she was like, I heard you doing this. And I just don't think that's a good idea. And in my head, I'm like, you can kick rocks because nobody's going to tell me any different.

I think that was really the first time that anybody kind of mentioned to me, hey, this might be a problem with what you're doing here. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like, I think, too, the earlier stages that denial just run so deep about, like, I always had this vision. It's wild thinking about it, man. But once I knew things were a problem, but I couldn't stop, I always had this vision

of like, I was just going to wake up one day in a different world, and I wouldn't have any of these problems and things we're just going to turn around like all of a sudden, you know, like just this so far, just sort of fantasy world. But it's that denial too. When you're in it, you can't even see it. But when we look back, you can see it clear as day. But I remember times when people would mention to me, I mean, I would have a judge sitting there telling me you have a problem with this and I would agree. But I would be saying internally like, no, I don't. Like what? They don't understand like and they would just be telling me like you have a serious problem you need to figure it out you're getting in a lot of trouble already like i was 18 19 years old already getting a lot of

trouble and not being able to see it blaming everybody else for where i was in my life so yeah man yeah i feel that it to me it was always like i have a job i pay the bills yeah i've got a girlfriend i don't see how any of this is a problem everybody else else does it. Yeah. Isn't it so wild too looking back on that because I used to say the same thing all the time. But when I look back like, I was like, man, everybody else wasn't doing what I was doing. I was just hanging out with like the group of people that did. But when I look at college and stuff too, like there was a lot of people who didn't party or if they did, they kept it like between the lines and maybe once a month. And then there was like me and, you know, my, my, my,

crew of buddies and going to everywhere to all these different parties. But I was like, if everybody did it, we would just come to the same place, you know, every weekend. But they weren't having a party every weekend at the same place that put on, you know, what we thought were the best parties. So we had to bounce all over the place. But yeah, looking back, we can see it for what it is. But when you wrapped up in it, it's near impossible, man.

It really is. Yeah. Yeah, I remember I had a buddy when we were kind of out of school. I remember calling him on a Sunday on the way to my bar or my bar, A bar. And said, man, come on. We're going to the bar. He said, no, I don't drink on Sundays. Like, this is my prep day for the week.

And I'm like, you don't drink on Sundays? We're not friends. Like, and it was just off the list of people to call on Sunday because, you know, and the list got smaller and smaller as it went along. But again, yeah, you'll find the crowd that accepts it. Yeah, for sure. Was that your thing mostly drinking parties, bars or at home or no? Was that ever part of your story?

like the isolation part of it? Not till later, kind of in my addiction. But yeah, it was always a social thing. Let's get out, go to the bar, see some friends, you know, stay there way too long. And yeah, it was always a social outlet because I lived by myself. I was a bachelor for way too long. So I had a couple roommates. And yeah, we'd drink at home like if we had a barbecue or if there was a game on or something.

but that really wasn't until later that I was drinking by myself. Yeah. And I feel like that can keep us in the game a little bit longer too, right? If we have this going out social thing, you know, it's like maybe more normalizes it too. So like other people are doing it. Yeah, it's not that bad. It's not like what they show on the movies because I always did that. But when I look back at it now, like I started out, you know, probably similar transition to.

I started out we go out every. probably every night sometimes, shoot pool, hang out, whatever, it was great. And when I look back at it, though, I was just looking for any distraction from myself to actually, like, face who I was or maybe the lack of ambition that I had for life. Like, why are my other friends are graduating school and, like, they're heading towards their careers. And I felt like I was just so far kind of behind. So I didn't want to really face that music and this going out and partying and kind of

you know like it just kept me from thinking about all that stuff and even though i hated to be hung over like being hung over was just another way to avoid what was actually going on because that was all my focus on like how bad i felt about my life and then i didn't have to worry about everything else i felt like i was coming up shorting you know so it was like so interesting but i kept that as like my excuse alive kept things alive for probably longer than maybe they needed to be because I was just like, hey, we're going out. We're having fun. It's not that bad, you know, until it like gets bad or gets worse, you know? So what do things look like for you? You know, you got this new job and now you're promoted to the boss and then that kind of opens up your schedule a bit more. What

do things look like for you moving forward from there? Man, honestly, it was just kind of more of the same. I think, like you said, trying to avoid yourself just perpetuates and we're searching for this identity that's really not you. And for me, I tied a lot of that into my relationship with my old girlfriend. We'd gotten back together and I wound up proposing to her. And it's crazy to think back how reluctant she was to say yes because she knew the problem that I had with alcohol. And it really didn't take long for that to fall apart before she had found a new crowd to hang out with that wasn't doing what I was doing. And I just kind of stayed on the same course. You know, this is all I know, and this is kind of the comfort, the consolation that I get.

So if you're mad about it, then I'm just going to, I'll be at the bar. And that's when I really first found myself kind of lying and deceiving people about, what I'm doing or how much I was drinking. So that was wild. I remember we went on a trip to Jamaica and our friend was getting married. We're in Jamaica for a year. I mean, our friend was getting married. We're in Jamaica for a week, full week.

And on the second day, I found out some things about our relationship that, I mean, I'm glad I found out. But, you know, the faithfulness had been broken. and it was on night two and I just remember being like I can't wait for the breakfast bar to open up because they had this like kiosk

of just vodka bottles to make your own screwdriver rum punch, whatever you wanted to make. And that thing opened up I think at 5.30 or 6 in the morning. I marched down there. I just grabbed the whole bottle of smearing off

the kiosk and I started marching towards the beach and like this lady at the the hotel tried to stop me to be like, sir, you can't take the whole bottle of vodka to the beach. And I guess the look I gave her, she just kind of saw the pain in my eyes and was like, never mind, go have yourself a day. And that was kind of the first time that I was just like, you know, this is my only friend. This is the only thing that's never let me down is alcohol. It's always there.

It's always going to make me feel the way I know it will. And that's kind, I think, when I really got lost in it. We got back stateside. It was made clear that we were not going to be proceeding with our relationship. And I remember the first thing I did after she got her stuff out of my house, I just went, I went to the bar, and, you know, a bartender's always a friendly ear. So she wanted the whole story about how this went down. And it was just beer after shot, after beer after shot.

And it was my new home was this bar that was not too far from my house. So again, went and just found a new identity to escape the reality that my drinking had ruined, you know, the only relationship that I had. So it was, that was a weird several years right there. How old were you when this took when this happened? I was probably 31, 32, so it was about seven or eight years ago. Yeah. And it was a serious relationship too, right? Yeah.

We were pretty much living together. Yeah, and it was ring on the finger. We're going to get married. I'd asked her parents about it. And it's crazy to think back. You know, her dad had an alcoholic father and he never drank. But her mom and her brother, and she did as well. but I remember asking their parents if I could marry their daughter and I would just to get the

courage, I would, I'm going to the bathroom and I'd get a bud light or, you know, a beer from the bartender and just slam it right there in the bathroom. So in front of them, I probably had two or three beers while we watched a Razorback game, but unknowingly to them, I've probably had seven or eight beers just to be able to get through this. So, yeah, it was a serious path of destruction. Yeah. I mean, what do you see now that you look back at things, like, of how things were going? And did you ever try to stop at all?

No, I mean, looking back, it was everybody else's problem. You know, I don't have a problem with my drinking, you do. I don't see why this is an issue. I never could. It was just because I've found the crowd that says it's okay. So who are you to say that it's not? Yeah. You know, sometimes I've heard too that, and I can relate to this in one way or another,

that we're looking for boxes to check, right, about how does it look, right? Like, do I check this box? There's certain behaviors that I'm doing. And if I'm not doing those, then, hey, it's okay, right? And I think you're right. I mean, if you hang out with, what's the expression, right? Show me the five people you hang out with. I'll show you your future.

Yeah. You know, so I mean, if we're hanging out with people and that's the only feedback we're getting, then it's just going to appear completely normal in life. But, man, I'm just kind of taking in what you're sharing here. I just thinking of, you know, how difficult of a spot that is to be in, to where we kind of go through the motions, but I think I did. I got glimpses of it here and there of how much pain and, how far out of alignment I actually was.

I hated those moments because I didn't know how I was going to change my life, but I would get some moments of like, and this is not headed in the right direction. Like, this is not good. How do things go for you from there, like from this relationship break up? And then, you know, you're back home. And it's like, it's also that, I think you said something about earlier,

like that rinse and repeat, every time life is difficult or every time the emotions are heavier, or we don't know how to handle them, we drink. So then it's like, well, no wonder anytime we're stressed or drinking, that's all we know. That's like the only tool in our box. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it, man. It's the only tool I had.

Like I said, it was the only friend I had. Kind of how you shared earlier that, you know, you're watching your friends move on, get married, have kids crushing it in their careers. And here I am stuck in the same hole. But I'm going to keep drinking. And yeah, that's when it really picked up, man, because that's the only coping that I knew. You know, I'm going to the same kind of dead-in job that doesn't pay enough for me to get out on my own. And those were the years that looking back were just miserable.

I figured out, you know, there's no such thing as a hangover if you don't quit drinking. So here I am drinking three or four beers. my way to work. I remember having to pull my car over before getting to work just to puk on the sidewalk and then walking into work like it's no big deal. I remember, you know, the bars open at 11 and just sitting there at 1030 just counting the minutes till I could get out of that desk and go to the bar just to get more beer. And that's when it just kind of took over. And, you know, you go to the same places and everybody loves you there. So it was like a really cheap knockoff of cheers.

It's like, hey, there he is. There's Dave, okay. And, you know, your beer's already poured. Everybody's happy to see you. They want to hear about, you know, how shitty your day was and then commiserate with you. But even then I thought, you know, this is adulthood. This is what all these guys do. go to work and drink beer and then go home, go to bed.

And I always, you know, there's that quote, that comparison is the Thief of Joy. So you look around and just always, well, at least I'm not that guy. You know, at least I'm not this guy over here. Because, I mean, look at me. I'm doing okay. So that was, those are some rough ears, man.

Yeah. Yeah, it's, it gets tough, man. But yeah, it's when you see that, too, that's what's around. I mean, how would you feel if you weren't drinking? Like, did you have withdrawals and stuff? You went through it all or not? Yeah, I can distinctly remember going to my bar. I mean, right at 11 o'clock, if not earlier.

And like, hounding the bartender to pour me a drink. And when she handed it to me, man, I went to reach for it, and my whole hand was shaking. And she just looked at me like, oh, man, you're like, like really bad off. And hearing that from your bartender was kind of scary. And that was also kind of when I started having other kind of physical things. Gout is crazy. So I was having these like gout flares that it gets in your big toe. It's kind of a lack of your liver is basically not able to process all the purines that there's coming at it, mostly from beer for my situation. And it just like, it feels like your big toes on fire. And I mean, you can barely walk.

You can barely sleep. And even in those like flare-ups, I would go drink beer and just hope that this would go away if I, you know, got drunk enough that I just wouldn't feel this. So I just remember sitting in my bar stool and really starting to feel like my body is given out from, you know, what I was 10 years ago. Yeah. Did you ever, you mentioned the one thing yesterday, like the blame on other things. Did you ever, because I know a guy who has the gab thing right now, and he tells himself it's the red meat.

You ever see that when you Google it? It says it could be red meat. I don't know if you were on that tangent, but that's where, so he tells himself. Yeah, no, that was, you know, so my mom is a pharmacist. And she has a pill for everything. And I remember a lot of my family's medical. I went and saw my cousin because my blood pressure was out of control. I mean, to where I probably should have had a stroke or two.

And somehow my body is just big enough. I think there's this funny thing I read that giraffes have really high blood pressure because the blood has to go so far. And I'm like, well, look at me. I'm basically just a giraffe. That's why my blood pressure is so high. But yeah, I remember talking to my cousin that's a doctor. And he was like, well, I can give you the diet for gout, but you're not going to do that.

So here's a pill. So a lot of my life, it was like, there's a pill for that. There's just an easy way out as opposed to not drinking. Yeah. How much were you drinking towards the end? Man, I mean, like a light day would be six or eight beers. You know, if we're really going out, we're going to get some shots involved. But I remember my stomach almost couldn't handle beer anymore.

So that was just like, okay, well, let's switch to vodka. And that was it. It was like, give me this double shot of vodka with whatever. Just, you know, I remember asking a bartender, just whatever you think to put in some vodka, because that's all we need. And then, you know, the shelters came out. So everybody's now drinking these, like the high noons. I'm trying to think there's a couple local breweries that were doing some, but there's a couple that's a vodka-based shelter. And I was like, that's all right, but the alcohol is still pretty low. So I got to to a point where we're putting a shot of vodka into the seltzer.

It's like speedball it, man. it was definitely at its worst. Yeah. How do you end up turning this thing around? Man, I still thank God that somehow he put me in this situation. You know, I've always trusted that God's not going to give you what you want. He'll give you what you need. And for me, that was just a typical day.

I left work, went and had, you know, my two or three shelters with vodka. at the bar and was going from there to help a friend move some furniture at our church. I was actively involved in this church playing music. And just the timing of it all is so weird. So from the church, I had to go to a flooring store to get some samples for my work. And I couldn't remember exactly where this store was. So I wound up taking a wrong turn. And I got behind this pickup truck.

that's going like eight miles an hour in a 30. And I'm like, man, this old person, what are they doing? Get out of the way. I got somewhere to go. I might have honked at them once. They're still going eight. They come out to a stop sign, sit there forever. And then they roll out and they're still doing like eight miles an hour in this 30.

And I'm like, this is ridiculous. And we get up to the stoplight. They go straight. I'm taking a left turn to get to the floor. store and I lay on my horn. I throw my hands up. You know, what are you doing? Holding up traffic. And that truck stops, backs up in the middle of the intersection, and then starts following me. And I'm like, oh, wow, this might be the day that I get my ass kicked for honking my horn. And these guys roll down their window and it's like these two jacked dudes with tattoos.

and sunglasses on and they're like screaming, yelling to pull over. And I was like, I really don't know what to do, but I think if I'm going to get my ass kicked, I might as well make sure it's in front of some other people so they know what happened. So I went ahead and pulled into the store I was going to and was just going to get inside that store. The truck pulls into the parking lot, and I turn around and this guy just pulls out of Fayetteville police department badge. And there were two undercover cops doing surveillance on a drug dealer in this trailer park.

That's why they were going so slow. And it didn't take them long to figure out that I'd been drinking. So that was when I got a DUI, spent the night in jail. It wasn't my first go-around in jail. I had a couple others. But nothing like this, I knew, you know, the way, just the consequences of a DUI were going to be a lot. I just remember laying in that jail cell. And even then, you look around with the guys that are in there and it's like serious charges. And I'm like, well, I, you know, it's just, I just got

deep. I'm like, we're going to be all right. I'm not like these guys. But yeah, so I get out of that the next day. I'm dating at the time. I'm dating my now wife. So I have to call her and tell her that I was arrested for DUI and she kind of already had an idea that you know my drinking wasn't the best and it got kind of rocky but man even then the first thing I did I went home slept for a bit when I woke up first thing I did was go to the bar and have some drinks and try to figure out how we're going to do this do this as in like not drink anymore how are you going to manage this situation situation at hand. Yeah.

How are we going to get through this one? Yeah. But quitting drinking was, no, that was not a thought in my head at that time. It was just how are we going to handle this? And how am I going to save this relationship? Yeah. So it was. Yeah.

So things were kind of, well, if you're trying to save it, yeah, this wouldn't have been something that was like swept under the rug type thing in the relationship. Right. Is that what you're saying? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, something would have to change, right?

It wasn't just going to be like, oh, whoopsie dibs. I mean, a lot of the times, too, like, I mean, I've been in, I never got pulled over for DUI. I mean, I got caught for a ton of other stuff, but I think we do it quite a bit before we get caught. You know what I mean? It's like by the time we do get caught, I don't know what the statistics are, but it's not like it was this luck of the draw. This is like my first time kind of deal. So it's probably a good thing that there was, you know, maybe conversation or something. about some changes.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I knew my wife, she's kind of the first person that I couldn't fool, that I couldn't trick into thinking that this just wasn't a big deal. So I knew that I had to tell her. She was the first person I called. And she kind of just said, you know, she's going to take some space and we'll see how this goes. And I remember still drinking for a couple days.

I was actually on the clock, you know, for my job. And I'd work there for like eight years. And for me, it seemed to be my career. Obviously, they're going to get wind of it. So I went to work the next day. Boss calls me in the office. I kind of tell them what happened. And they kind of throw me on administrative leave and had a review.

And I'm begging for my job, trying to get into like an employee assistance program or something and they just weren't going to have it so they fired me and i had a hard time going to my house i was sleeping at my mom's and still drinking and lost my job and i think it was pretty clear that if i stayed on this track i would also be losing my girlfriend and then she's got two two children so that you know they were going to be gone too so i think it was the first time that I could see like, hey, man, you already lost your job. All you got left is her. And you're about to lose that too, you know, if things don't change.

I just remember thinking, you know, the way I got pulled over was kind of bullshit. So I was hoping there's three things. I was like between the charges, my job and my relationship, if I can just keep one of those, I'll be okay. and that was my first go at sobriety was you know you get the interlocks put on your car so there's like 90 days or something that it makes it really difficult to drink you know i didn't really like drinking at home it was just kind of boring i remember ubered to a bar once sat there just slamming shelters and that was the kind of first time that i was alone drinking and it hit me like

what are you doing? Why are you here? What's the win here that you worked so hard you paid money to get here. You're going to pay money to get home for this. And that was kind of the first time it hit me that like maybe this isn't worth it. So yeah, actually I got 88 days of sobriety. I wasn't smoking weed because I was trying to get a job. I actually lost a job opportunity because they do a hair test so that goes back you know further than a urine test and I was like oh I'm this anger the way did you go through with the test or did you just say no I'm good yeah I said let's roll it let's roll the dice and see what happened and I remember they called me and you know weeds legal medically here so they just asked if I had a medical card and I was like well

I've been thinking about getting one you know I've got the application so yeah I mean kind of and They're like, but you don't have one. No, I don't have one. Okay. Like, you can't work here. So, man, they cut off so much of my hair too. I was so disappointing that I did. Really?

Oh, man. I remember a wild story on that note. I got this job at this car dealership, Michael Jordan, Nissan. This is way back. And I was really heavy into all kinds of stuff, drugs. Well, drinking wasn't really a problem. It's always so interesting, right? Drinking is never like a thing you can't that they're checking for, right?

Like, you can't do it. you're working but it's like it's everything else but society just accepts the the drinking part and i had to do a mouth swab so i went to this like i don't know if it was like a weed shop or we used to call like a head shop i don't know if that's a thing yeah okay i went there and they had like this little it was like rent it looked like a little five-hour energy drink booster but it was like this drink you drink so i picked up two of these and then you were supposed to do it before you took the test. I did one like the night before just to see what it was like. And my girlfriend's like, your whole mouth is yellow. And I was like, what do you mean? It's yellow. Looked in the mirror and I was

like, yeah, I can't do this. And like I was, we went out to was it Walgreens or something probably back then there. There was another pharmacy store. I can't remember the name of it, but we went out there, bought this like this drug test. I was like, oh, came back positive for everything. There's no way I'm getting this job. But I actually got the job. Yeah. I didn't even use the other the other liquid stuff. I just was like, let it ride. Let's see what happens. And I guess with those samples, it only does like maybe a couple days back or something. So yeah, it was like a wild story. Just made me think of it there. So they hit you at this test here. And that was a no go. Sorry, go ahead with where you were headed there. No, you're good. Yeah. So I got 88 days sober. I was able,

I got a job at the company I still work for now, which was really, really kind of random that they found me. I didn't find them. And actually, we work nationwide, so they don't test for wheat. So I was like, this is the perfect place for me because I'm still smoking this whole time, except for that brief time before I got this job. So the moment I got that job, oh, I can smoke weed here. So we're back to that. And I went 88 days without alcohol. And I'm back together with my girlfriend. Things are looking up. And, And it's like, okay, the interlock's gone. You've paid your fines, you know, went and saw the judge, all that.

And we go on vacation to Florida. And it's like, well, okay, this is the time to drink. I think I'm going to have a drink. And it was the worst decision that I could have made because it was, let's try to moderate this. Let's try to be an actual adult that consumes alcohol. and there's just never enough. You know, like I said, if I'm going to do something, I'm doing all of it. And it doesn't matter what it is.

Thankfully, now it's my hobbies. But it was like, well, okay, one drink or another. And we had set the appropriate amount that I set was to have three drinks. And it's like, okay, well, we had three on the beach. Now we're in the apartment. Like doesn't that restart the count. And, well, we went to a different bar. So if you ask this bartender, I've had zero drinks.

And man, it wasn't long until, you know, three beers turned to three vodka's, turned to, you know, just give me the strongest that you got and make it three of them. And that's, I think that's when I really saw, you know, you're kind of at the crossroads of where you're going to go. you've got this awesome girlfriend, you got two boys that love you, you've got all the support in the world. I mean, all my friends showed out after I got arrested because they could kind of see too where I was going and those people cared about me. But here I am still wanting to drink. And then the job I had, I would travel a lot. So when you get on the road, man, there's nobody to answer to, you know, is just find your way back to the hotel. And the last time I got drunk was in Louisville, Kentucky, which is, you know, bourbon country.

So I just remember getting landing in the airport, get a beer. And the bartender, what's your bourbon? What's the backer? And I'm like, no, just the beer. And she's, you're in bourbon country. The beer comes with a backer. It's like getting fries with your happy meal. You know.

And I'm like, okay. I guess what, you know, throw me a shot of bourbon and never operated well on brown liquor. Like I said, I was drinking vodka all the time. But I think it was that night because my flight got canceled. So here I am stuck on the road with nobody to answer to. And we just start drinking and every beer's coming with a shot of bourbon. and it wasn't long into my stumble down the bourbon road that just through my text messages, my girlfriend knew that I was wasted.

And that was just waking up. I mean, it was a total like blackout. I don't know how I got back to the hotel. Thankfully I did. But man, waking up in that hotel with just that panic of, you know, what have you done? Everything that you thought you were working for is just out the window for not even like three or four hours of what you thought would be fun. And I just remember sitting in the shower in that hotel, just like something's got to give, something has to change. And that was in that airport

the next morning. I remember I called my sister and I don't cry a lot. if ever. I don't remember really last time I cried, but I was just sobbing like a baby to my sister. Like, I don't know. And I'm so used to winning. I'm so used to doing well at stuff that to have something had me whooped was just like, how did this one thing just completely defeat me to the point that I'm, I mean, I'm just beating down in tears. And our, remember before that my mom really tried to push me into AA or one time she said she was like not going to let me go see my girlfriend unless I went to a meeting first and I just told her to kiss off and did what I wanted to do and that was before I you know kind of relaps but you know in that that first 88 days you're sober

but my heart wasn't in it my head wasn't in it it was like we got to get this done so we can move back to normalcy to where I'm drinking. And finally that time leaving the airport, I should remember texting my wife, my girlfriend at the time, I'll get help. Like, this is it. I'll get help because I clearly I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't. And even this is a wild thing.

Even after all that, I mean, like, the terminal waiting for my plane to board and I go get two or three beers just to be like okay and then I'm sitting there like wait hold on not to say what you're supposed to be doing so it was but yeah man that was my last time drinking on May 12th 2022 wow man that's incredible you know to put an end to it right for what for like so many things you mentioned there I mean just stand out right It's just it always just ends up back to the same place it was or worse. And what you said to a lot of people share on the podcast, right, able to figure out so many other areas of our life, able to check the box here, got that going on our right. This is okay.

We want to change this. We want to do that. We're able to be in control and make those adjustments. But when it comes to alcohol, it's what, you know, giving it up and getting sober. We need help. We need support. We need other people to help us out. But it's not always easy to ask for help.

How challenging was that call for you to make to your sister to kind of snowball this thing? Man, it was rough because as close as we are, we don't talk a lot. I'm not big about talking on the phone. So it'd be, you know, text here and there. But I just knew that she would be the only person that would understand kind of how I got to this point. And I knew that she'd be the only person that would say it's okay. Like, this is okay that this happened. and you know it's not completely your fault not trying to shift blame but i knew she was the only one

that would be kind of like a little glimmer light in a really dark spot so yeah it was it's tough it's tough to even think about it man yeah yeah no i mean it is but those i feel like that's when people make a big breakthrough is when we kind of do things differently for one but we take a chance on maybe building a bridge. You know, I think we get into this drinking habit, this drinking addiction, and we live on an island in a sense where we just don't let anybody in. We don't share our feelings. We don't share our thoughts.

We just try to do it ourselves. Try to, I got myself here. I'll get myself out of here. And I feel like what I see you did that day. And I have my own sort of story around that too. And I think was so helpful. Like for once you let somebody in. You let somebody in to say, you know what?

I don't have it all figured out. You know, I'm really good at a lot of things, but this has just got me baffled. I just can't find a way out of it. And like, not that she came in and saved the day and did all the work for you. You know what I mean? You had to put one foot in front of the other.

But it's like, man, that's just a start. I tell so many people all the time, like the start is like, let's just get honest with how this is impact in our life. And, you know, there's a lot of people out there who are willing to help us and to listen. Yeah, yeah, man. I mean, I definitely feel that. I think, again, going back to my childhood, you know,

with my dad not really being there and only having coaches so many, you know, times out of the year, I don't need anything from anybody. You know, I've got this. I'm going to take care of me in my own way. So being that stubborn, hard-headed, it's tough, you know, It's tough, especially when you're the guy, you're supposed to be the star athlete. You're supposed to be, you know, checking all these boxes in life and winning everything and having the grades and finally just saying, I can't. Like, I can't win here.

It's got me defeated. Yeah. So where do you go from there from that moment? I mean, heading towards wrapping up the episode. I mean, how do things look like for you moving forward? Yeah, I mean, thankfully, my sister had a friend that has been long-term sober, and I'd met him on a couple of my trips out to visit her, and the dude's just the coolest guy in the world. And she said, well, you know that Joey's sober.

And I'm like, no way. There's no way that someone's that cool and is. sober. That's not possible. So for me, you know, I never wanted to go to AA just because of the stigmas. I didn't want to stand up at the podium and say, I'm one of y'all. I was, you know, too proud or too ignorant to do that. But when she told me that he was sober, I was like, you're telling me that someone that cool was okay. And it gave me this kind of glimmer of like, well, then I want to be like him. And I just remember, I mean, I texted my girlfriend.

I'll get help. And I got back home to Fayetteville, looked up a meeting. And I talked to Joey on the phone for a bit. And all these, he said, you just got to go to a meeting, man. You just have to go to a meeting. And I had another friend from my church that's been sober. He gave me a big book a while back, I think, after my arrest. And I just remembered driving to that meeting was like a dream.

It was like the lights are flashing. Everything just feels different, feels weird. My nerves were on edge, just trembling, sitting in the parking lot for too long. And then just saying like, you're going to do this because it's the only shot you've got to save the life that you want and that you deserve. And man, that stepping into the rooms was the best decision I've ever made for myself and for the people I love. It was nothing like I thought, you know, these are very normal people from every walk of life. And we're all there for the same reason because we can't control alcohol.

And starting to work the program. But even then, I was kind of not reluctant, but I just said, I'm going to do this. I didn't get a sponsor until I was like nine months sober because someone just said, bro, you got to get a sponsor. Working the steps was kind of here and there, but I just kept coming back to the meetings because after the first one, I just knew you do belong in these rooms. Like, these are your people. They've had the same struggles that you have. And it was really the first time in my life that I had kind of the me too moment I felt like so much of my life is like you wouldn't understand you're not me you don't know what it's like and sitting in

those rooms it's just like I've been there you know yeah wow man thanks for thanks for sharing that part too of you know plugging in there I mean how has your life changed a full 180 man I can't believe the blessings that just come my way. I just, and I know 100% that none of this would happen without sobriety. The position I was in at work really wasn't ideal for, you know, being on the road and being able to kind of screw off and have temptation there. Thankfully, I made it through a few work trips, but then, man, a spot popped up at my work that I'm able to work from home and be with my family. I was able to relocate to live with them as well. And I just work with people that I really love and do something that I really enjoy. And I know if I was drinking that this wouldn't happen.

That manager wouldn't have even given me a shot. We got married. I think I was, I waited until I was about 10 months sober to ask her to marry me. And that's just been awesome, man. Having kind of your best friend go through that with you and still believe in you and just have so much hope and faith in your potential and just kind of know if I've seen you overcome a lot of obstacles and I just know that I could get this one. So having somebody in your corner like that is such a blessing. I know that she wouldn't be here.

My boys wouldn't be here without sobriety. It's just crazy, man. Things keep popping up in my life that I know for a fact would not be here if I was still drinking. Yeah, direct result of not drinking, man. Great stuff comes. What about when you look inward? I mean, are you proud of yourself for the progress you've made or where to think? land in that direction for you?

Yeah, man. I think I've always had a tough time looking myself in the mirror because I just didn't like who I was. I didn't like what I was doing. And then, you know, the physical effects of alcohol start catching up with you being, you know, just puffy and red and sweaty. And it's kind of weird to look back on some of those photographs and stuff. But yeah, man, I'm really proud of myself.

I think I shared that in a meeting once that, you know, you can hear it for months and months of how good you're doing from other people and how good you look, you know, you look, you lost weight, you're healthy. And I finally started to believe it. You know, I was finally able to look at myself in the mirror and just be genuinely happy for where I am. So yeah, it's been great, man. Yeah, that's beautiful.

You know, and it's all work in progress too, right? It's all about, you know, working and going through the different levels of sobriety and not drinking. And I think for me, it was learning a lot of how to do things differently without drinking, right? Because everything was drinking, whether I realized it or not, going out to dinner, hanging out with buddies, doing this, going to the game, watching football, whatever. It was always drinking. I didn't know you could go out for dinner and not drink alcohol. I didn't know that was even a thing. And I had to learn how to kind of do that stuff.

And it was really uncomfortable. A lot of things were uncomfortable. There was maybe a level of boredom because I wasn't living in a chaotic world anymore. But it's like a little bit at a time. I feel like we come into our own, you know, we learn stuff. I'm just thinking about one person or maybe a few people out there, David, who are struggling to get or stay sober. Like, what would you mention to them from your own experience?

I'll just say if it's a thought in your mind that things aren't going your way and alcohol's the source of it, get in a meeting. Find an AA group. There's an app called Open Chair that gives you a map and a schedule and they are every day, all day. There's Zoom meetings that you can hop on. Get in a meeting. You might not quit that day. you might not quit that month, but keep going. And don't ever think that I'm better than those guys. Find a community. You know, that's how I found your podcast. So yeah, just get the community to where you start identifying with some of your struggles and you'll quickly realize that you're not alone in this. Because I think that's the worst feeling ever is to think that no one understands

or no one's been here or they don't know what it's like. So get in a meeting. Yeah, I love that. Thank you. Anything else that we miss that you want to mention? No, man, it won't come to me. Once we hang up, I'll be like, I should have said that. Man, I know I should have said that.

Hey, it happens. Well, thank you so much, man, for jumping on and sharing your story with all of us. Yeah. And I don't know if I can throw my Instagram out there. I know you tag us on the page. Start this Instagram page. all tomorrow's dope. It's kind of just to play on words, you know, as far as the dopamine that your body's able to produce and the kind of bank account that we have that's limited to your physical

body. And just when we use alcohol, we're taking advance withdrawals from our dopamine. And just to kind of always think about not only tomorrow's dopamine, but that tomorrow's going to be dope, you know, if I don't drink, this is going to be a good time. And it's crazy in sobriety. I've just had these moments of lucid, just dopamine, where I'm like, this is crazy. Like, this is so awesome. You know, you said the everything else that always required alcohol, I'm going out doing all those things still. I'll still go visit my buddies for happy hour and have a couple NAs, but it's still the best experience. You know, I still love my friends and I still love doing all my activities and it just gets better every day.

Yeah, awesome, man. Thank you. Yeah. One thing, like, I always like to look towards people that have substantial amounts of sobriety, five years, 10 years, 15 years. And how did they get there? How did you do this? And it's the same simple answer. You know, they're staying plugged in. So just whenever things start getting rough, I think you just got to keep that in mind to stay the course and keep going. Always keep going. Yeah, so true. Stay plugged in, stay connected. Awesome, man. Well, there it is, everyone. Another incredible episode here on the podcast. Thanks so much, David, for jumping on here and sharing with all of us.

I'll drop David's Instagram channel down on the show notes below. Be sure to reach out to him. Let him know. We appreciate him coming on the podcast and sharing his story. If you are a listener of the podcast and you made it this far and you want to share your story, send me over a message on Instagram at Suburmotivation. and let's make it happen, and I'll see you on the next one.