Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Blacking out was a regular occurrence for Faye

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

In this powerful episode, Brad welcomes Faye to share her journey through childhood, family dynamics, and the challenges of alcohol use. Faye opens up about growing up around parties, the impact of her parents’ separation, and how alcohol became a coping mechanism. She discusses her experiences with blackouts, social anxiety, ADHD, and the turning point that led her to sobriety. We explore the process of self-discovery, the importance of building healthy relationships, and the significance of community in recovery. Faye on IG: https://www.instagram.com/fayelouise_____/

Welcome back to season four of the Super Motivation Podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We're here to show sorority as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. In this episode, I'm joined by Faye to share her journey through childhood, family dynamics, and the challenges of alcohol use. Faye opens up about growing up around parties, the impact of her parents' separation, and how alcohol became a coping mechanism.

She discusses her experiences with blackout social anxiety, ADHD, and the turning point that led her to sobriety. We explore the process of self-discovery, building healthy relationships, and the importance of community in recovery. And this is Faye's Story on a sober motivation podcast. Good to have you for another episode, Brad here. My kids went back to school today after summer. So it kind of feels like that's the end of summer.

I mean, it's still nice weather out. that feels like an end to it. And I think there's this big shift that can happen in our lives at the end of summer and ready for the new season. And I notice a real big uptick of people getting curious or exploring, not drinking anymore. A lot of new people joining the community. And I think some of that has to do with summer leaning into drinking. But then I think if we're honest and we look back, it's all the same. I don't know everybody's experience or story, but a lot of what I've heard and my own experience is that we always end up in the same place and it just often goes the same way. And we find ourselves stuck again and maybe wanting more to life or maybe wanting to

change careers or have better relationships or just simply feel better in the morning and maybe not waste the days away with the anxiety. and struggling with the mental health, you know, due to drinking or whatever it is. All of the chaos that comes with the life of drinking. So if you're looking to make some changes right now is a great time to jump into the Suburmotivation community, check out the meetings, get connected. I saw one of our new members the other day. There's a 30-day free trial, so you have an entire month to decide whether it's

for you or not or even whether if you're at a spot. where you want to quit drinking. If you're wanting to attend the meetings and kind of commit to that journey as well, you have the 30 days to decide and maybe just checking it out could be helpful. I had somebody post in the app, though, that their membership or 30-day free trial was expiring and in that the easiest decision they could ever make was to continue on with things, just plugging into meetings and connecting with other people. And it's really interesting because we've had a handful of people to join

that are maybe a little bit further on in the process, you know, maybe close to their year of sobriety and have done the journey on their own, for the most part, maybe a little bit of therapy or a little bit of connection here or there, a couple books,

but never really had that community connection with other people that are a lot like us that are going through it. And when they join and they share, it's always consistent. Man, I wish I checked. it out my first day. I wish I checked out something like this. It doesn't have to be the suburb motivation community. There's a lot of incredible communities out there of people,

you know, maybe in your local community, maybe virtually. I think virtually is a great stepping stone too in person while you get more comfortable and confident and sharing and talking and communicating about the journey and sort of uncovering all of the different things we learn as we go through this because we learn, I think, pretty quickly that there's more to all of this than just not drinking. I think we learn that pretty quick. And you can learn a lot from others. So if your summer is kind of like over air quotes like mine and life is starting back up

and it's going to happen fast and it's on your mind that you just want to check something else out or you've already been on the journey and you want to get connected with some other like-minded people that are going after too. We have this really cool meetup in Toronto, too. I'm excited about for community members that's going to be at the end of September where we're all going to get to meet and hang out for a weekend. So that's going to be really cool. But that's just a quick ramble for today.

Didn't have a show last week. The kids were out of school. We're getting all that stuff ready. I just decided to just really lean into that. Hang out with them, spend some time with them before. everything just really picks up here really quick. So yeah, thank you guys, as always, for listening to the podcast and being patient with me with releasing episodes.

I know every other podcasts are out there. I think probably everyone has a day and a time where they post their episodes. And if you guys have followed me long enough, you know that there is no day and there is no time. It's just whenever I get through editing the episodes and publishing, them so I hope you guys enjoy it. I really do. I love to hear from you all about how the podcast is helping and how the stories are helping. And I can't take all the credit for that, nor would I. The guests come on here and they're extremely brave and they share their stories and they share

them to help others. And in turn, I think it really helps them as well to put it out there, put their truth out there. You know what they say? The truth will set us free. So thank you guys for hanging out. Now let's get to Fay's story. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Faye with us. How are you? I am so good. Thank you so much for having me, Brad. How are you today? Yeah, I'm doing well. I was excited to get connected on this and share your story with everybody on the show. So, so, so exciting. And thank you so much for having me. Yeah. So what was it like for you growing up? Yeah. So growing up, my parents, I'd say, it used to throw a lot of parties.

So, yeah, from about maybe eight, I used to watch mum and dad have parties. If we went throwing the party, we would be at somebody else's house having a party. So straight away, I think I got that association that alcohol equals, foreign equals, party equals socialising. So quite young I saw and got really curious with alcohol.

Also, though, whilst growing up, I did watch my mom have a six-year break from alcohol, which was really amazing because me and my mum's drinking styles are pretty similar. I think we've both had quite problematic relationship. So I witnessed her have six years away from alcohol and that was an eye-opener. That was absolutely amazing to see that actually you can do life a different way without alcohol. My mom did return back to drinking and after that because we know what alcohol is like, we know what happens, her drinking style. It basically just went back to where it was and she is actually two years over now which is absolutely amazing again and yeah, I'd say my parents then split up when I was

maybe 11 years old and I just saw it as an excuse to be to basically just go off. the rails. I went quite naughty. I was scyving school, drinking alcohol in the school field. I was smoking in all kinds and I was just being an absolute nuisance and I remember this one time my mom got a call from my friend's mum and basically the mom told my mom that she saw me smoking and drinking in the in the field and my mom was absolutely heartbreaking but it didn't start me. Then after that I would like borrow my cousin's ID and I'd go to like Liverpool, Chester, all the nightclubbing. From that, yeah, university, I don't need to explain much.

I went into hospitality. And honestly, I was encouraged to drink on shift, which was absolutely wild. Then to celebrate graduating university, I booked a one-way flight to Ibiza and did a season. Again, I don't really need to explain it too much about that. But the thing is, after that season, I actually came home a little bit early because I was like, I'm done now. I'm absolutely done with the hangovers, the anxiety. It's just the things that happened with alcohol was just not okay. So I came home and I had my first night out with all of my friends and the next day I woke up and I ran down to down to my mum and I was like,

mum, oh my God, I'm going back to my beef. You're going to have to take me back to the airport in like three hours and my mom was going mad because she used to always say there's just always something with you. You always just bring so much chaos into the house. So I'm almost like, have not even unpacked, just suitcases on the floor, you've not even unpacked and you're going back. And I was like, Mom, just please take me to the airport. So then I went back to I beather,

but I booked this in a blackout. I do not remember booking the flight back to Ibitha. Like this is just the normal, just booking things, being so impulsive whilst drinking. And yeah, from that, I got my first graduate job at my after university. And at the start, it was good,

but I was so used to drinking. whenever I could. Like in university, you get to drink every single day, if you like. And I went into a full-time job, nine to five, Monday to Friday.

And I was just getting frustrated. I was living for the weekend. I was doing a job that I didn't really like, living for the weekend. And then on a Friday, I'd go out with the girls, go on the session. Yeah, I wouldn't come home most days

to like Sunday, most weeks or Sunday. It was just, it was chaos. And then I got really fed, up and I decided, right, I'm going to book a one-way flight to Australia. And I booked a one-way flight to Australia. And yeah, my drinking honestly ramped up even more. Because I think because I wasn't named my mom, I wasn't near my brothers. And I was just able to do what I want. And honestly, my drinking just ramped up insane amounts. My mom would message me, my family would message me to say, if I watch you're drinking, like it looks like you're drinking too much. And I used to think,

oh you're just jealous of my lifetime you're you're just jealous that i'm in australia living my life and then yeah and then i did meet my boyfriend drinking so we're both we both in the same friendship group and yeah we met drinking and we got together but because of drinking i think you know what alcohol with alcohol we did end up having a few arguments drinking and from there he actually decided to do like a marathon ironman and try after and took many breaks and I used to watch him and think wow you look absolutely amazing whilst not drinking you've got so much motivation you're so happy like I was so jealous but for me I couldn't I didn't want to remove alcohol yet so I think I did about three weeks here and there but then the

final straw for me was that I went to a family wedding and everyone used always say to me fake can you not just like control your drinking can you not control when you black out and stuff. And I was like, no, like, it just happened. So the final straw was I went on holiday for my cousin's wedding. It was the first cousin of all the cousins to get married. I flew from Australia to Dubai. My mom and family flew from Chester to Dubai, family from China, Canada. We came from everywhere for this wedding. And on the first night, I met everybody. I think I got so excited that I ended up getting so drunk that the next day I, yeah, woke up and thought, oh my God, how am I, how am I home?

What happened? And then I wish I could tell you, like, that was the end of that drinking on that holiday. But it was, that was my drinking the whole holiday. And then on the final light of the holiday to the day after the wedding, I basically had too much to drink. And sometimes what happens is, yeah, I've got no impulse control when I drink. and I said something, I kicked off a little bit and, well, maybe a bit. And my mum put me in a taxi and I didn't get to say goodbye to my stepdad, my brothers,

my cousin, whose wedding it was, his wife, my aunties, uncles. I didn't get to say goodbye to anybody. And I flew back home to Sydney the next day. And on that plane, I was thinking, wow, on the way I set the intention that I would meditate because before the holiday, I just took three weeks off alcohol. And I was meditating consistently. journaling, working out, walking. And on that, and I really wanted to spend time with my mom, because obviously I don't see her much. And on that plane home, I was thinking, well, what have

done? I didn't meditate. I didn't journal. I didn't work out. I didn't go to walk. I barely saw my mom because I was either in bed hung over or I was in a blackout. And I didn't get to sightseed. What have I done? And on that playing, I said to myself, like, enough is enough. And if nothing changes, nothing changes. And it was only a couple of months after I realized that on the that day I decided to do six months alcohol free. That was Valentine's. So that was like the biggest act of self-love that I could have given myself. Sorry, did I just go through my old story?

Did you ask me about my childhood? Yeah, well, thank you for sharing all of that too. So that kind of kicked things off. I want to go back a little bit more too, though, more towards of like growing up. I think a lot of people share we get kind of different stories. you know, some people, it starts off, you know, tough or difficult from them for the beginning with, you know, maybe coming into the world and stuff. And for you, it sounds like, I mean, that is another very common thing. Maybe more common, I feel in the earlier part of the podcast of parents separating that changes the dynamics or definitely does. What do you think it was that, you know, kept you interested? I mean, you grew up around it a bit you shared there. I'm always so curious about what keeps us going when, you know, kept you. You know, kept you interested. I mean, you grew up around it a bit you shared there. I'm always so curious about what keeps us going. And when we start to get, things start to get a little bit rocky to where some of my friends growing up when things got rocky, they walked away.

I never could. Walk away from alcohol, yeah. When things were rocky for me, I leaned more into alcohol. Alcohol was my crutch, they say. And the thing is as well, maybe about two years ago, I was working with a psychologist. And we were talking about, like, reasons why I drank and maybe what could have happened in my childhood and I drink I used to drink a lot when yeah things were things were really difficult things were really really challenging I didn't want to face the emotion I would I would numb and we think

that came from yeah exactly when my mom and dad split up straight away I used alcohol and what I used to do as well was I would ring my dad and I'd basically like play him I'd be like dad because my dad was only allowed to see me on a Sunday I would say dad can you bring me and the girls a bottle of vodka and I won't tell mom and we'll we'll hang out for like an hour or something and of course my dad would do anything to see me anything to keep me happy so he would then bring me a bottle of vodka and then I started drinking every single weekend because as well I thought wow I'm so cool my dad I was only young like 13 15 so I thought I was so cool that my dad was bringing me bottles of vodka when all of my friends,

mum and dads were like maybe giving them bottles of wine or smear or some of the low form of alcohol. But yeah, I think very early on, I've never really got to manage my emotions. I've always, always numbed them. And it's just that habit that I got into straight away. But also I think I was screaming for attention. I knew, I kind of.

I knew what I was doing. I was playing my dad, getting him to see me, but I knew that my mom would probably find out, like, of course she would find out, like, she already got the phone call from my friend's mom saying that I was smoking and drinking. So I kind of knew what was happening, and I think, yeah, it was attention. I really wanted the attention at that time. The attention wasn't on me. It was on the separation. It was, my mom and dad's divorce was awful. It was absolutely awful. I remember it being awful. So I think, yeah, I was screaming for attention. Yeah. No, I mean, that makes a lot of sense too in the mix going on there. Where exactly did you grow up? So I grew up in a place called Chester. So it's in between Liverpool and Manchester and it's

absolutely stunning. It's a gorgeous little town and we live just by the school, maybe a 10 minute walk from the school. So yeah, we used to drink a lot on the It was just really convenient at school to drink on. Yeah, a place to hang out at. Yeah. So as you kind of go through all of this, I mean, is there a point in time where you maybe have a thought of, you know, this isn't really headed in the direction. Maybe I want to go with things or, hey, maybe this is a problem or anything like that? Or was this closer towards the end of things?

I think mainly towards the end, but there was this instance where I was this instance where I was. was 15 years old. I was working in a cafe and my manager, a male manager, took me for drinks. He was, God, maybe about 14 and I was 14. And he brought me home in his Porsche. And apparently I fell out of his car outside my mom's house. My mom obviously ran out the door, grabbed me, was screaming at him. I can't remember anything. Then the next day I woke up at my dad's house. and I was thinking, like, where am I? Because I didn't, we didn't used to spend that much time with my dad. And yeah, it was just, we didn't go to my dad's much.

So I was like, dad, why am I here? And he said, Faye, your mother called me. You were really drunk. Some guy was dropping you off in a Porsche, and she didn't know what to do with you and you're here. And at that point, I did think, okay, wow, like this, this probably isn't too good. and I had plans the next day and I couldn't go to the plans because my mom basically said I had to stay with my dad for a little bit.

So it did ruin my plans as well and I did think, wow, I don't even remember anything. I don't remember getting dropped off. I don't remember being at the pub. I don't remember coming to my dad's. And yeah, I think that was a bit of a problem. But I kept going back. I kept going back the amount of times and the amount of things that have happened during blackouts, I still kept going back. like a recent time, well not so recent, maybe about five years ago, I was in Australia my first Christmas away from home. I was in a blackout. I lost my Pandora bracelet, which all of my family basically bought me charms. Also lost my phone, no, not my phone, sorry, I lost my bag with my passport, driving license, all my bank cards, English bank cards, Australian bank cards, keys, makeup, like everything.

I lost everything. And I was heartbroken. I cried for days. But what happened three days later, I was still back drinking and still back blacking out. And to be honest, no, I didn't think it was that much of a problem until I'd say about a year and a half ago, I found the quote by Julie, what's her name, Julie Newman, I think.

And the quote basically says, if you, most people who blackout get so scared on that first blackout that they either stop drinking or that they slow down their drinking to not have these blackouts and for me it came my normality to blackout every single weekend and I just expected it

and I thought as well everyone blacked out and it was really crazy recently when I stopped drinking I realised that not everyone blacks out which just feels like I'm shocked that not everybody blacks out. And I've realized that people who don't blackout think that people who black out are telling eyes. Like we're making it off. Yeah.

Well, some of the stuff you mentioned there, and I mean, just some of the things I've heard over the years too. My own experience is to throw into the hat as well. Like, it's very risky. My goodness, it's really risky to not remember and not really know what's going on or not. all know what's going on and stuff too. So you're going through all of this and you're thinking to yourself that this is kind of everybody's experience with it. Did you have a, because I'm so curious about this too, different people's experiences. Some people share didn't really have an idea of when it would happen. You know, one time it was maybe, I don't know if this is it, but you know, maybe two drinks.

And then another time it was eight drinks, but didn't really know exactly when it would happen. Yeah, I couldn't predict it. Sometimes I wouldn't black out after two drinks. I'd say it would be maybe about six or eight drinks. But like you said, I couldn't tell you if I was going to black out. But it did happen most of the time. But another thing that I recently learned as well is the more stressed I was. So I suffered with social anxiety.

And I think a lot of people do, and that's why we drink. And the more anxious I would be, the more drunk I would get. And then that is when I would black out. That is when things would go horrifically wrong. So I don't know if you experienced that as well. The more anxious or stress, the more drunk you got. Yeah, I mean, I never really blacked out from alcohol, maybe once. But when I did Xanax, Zanex and alcohol.

That's when I blacked out. And I had some scary close calls where things could have definitely went the other way. Really bad. Could have went really bad. Luckily, they didn't, but they could have. There was a huge potential there for things going the other way. You bring that up to the social anxiety aspect of things. I mean, is that your entire life or that you've had that going on?

Or was that like when you started drinking or no? To be honest, I think with the social anxiety, I think I never allowed myself to experience socialising without alcohol because I was drinking from whenever my mum and dad split up, I think about 11, 13, I'd say from 13 I was drinking every single weekend, we'd go to the field or go to a party. So I just don't feel that I allowed myself to experience what socialising was like without alcohol. So then I felt like I needed did it. If I didn't have it, then I feel like I experienced social anxiety. Because even now, two and a half years sober, sometimes I will get social anxiety, but it's not as bad as it was.

And I've learned as well, social anxiety, it's so normal. It's there to protect us. And I remember hearing the analogy, like if you even think about being a child, like going to a child's party, what would happen? At the start, you would be wrapped around your mum's leg and you wouldn't want to let go your mom and then give it maybe five, 10, 15 minutes. You would like read the room, figure out the people who are there, figure out the energy, the vibe. And then by the end of the party, you'd be crying again to your mom seeing you don't want to go home.

You're having too much fun. So I've learned as well, like social anxiety is very normal. But yeah, I do experience it a little bit, but hardly, hardly now, yeah. Yeah. And I think it's relatable. I mean, people talk about alcohols, kind of being that social lubricant too, right? I mean, you go out and you drink.

And that's a big part of played a big role played for me in the beginning because then I could go places and I was so uncomfortable in my own skin while I just drink some, you know, just start drinking. And then everything, that kind of slides away. And then other people are doing it too. But yeah, and then like what you mentioned there too, I think is like so important to highlight is that the more and more we lean on alcohol in any area of our life. Right now we're talking about the social situation.

too, we can just easily become dependent on it to provide that. It's like an easy reach of like, okay, I'm uncomfortable in this situation. Here's a very easy solution to, you know, make me feel a little bit more comfortable, you know, fit into the crowd or whatever it is. Was a lot of your drinking done, like partying and being out, club? You mentioned earlier, clubs and that whole, that whole scene. Yeah, definitely growing up, it was definitely going to clubs, going to pubs in Australia.

Wow, just the festivals and everything. But I'd say towards the end of my drinking, I did kind of come away from the partying as much as I used to. And then I did go towards more using alcohol to relax, using it at the end of the week. Yeah, to wind down, to de-stress, to celebrate. But yeah, we would still go out for meals and every time we'd go for a meal

I'd need a wine or a prosaca and like some meals like we'd go for a nice meal and the next day I'd wake up and I wouldn't have a clue how we got home so yeah it's just all the time any opportunity there was to drink

I would take advantage and I would just take it too far it was like I would drink until I couldn't that's how it was I would drink until I was either yeah until I fell asleep until my body had just shut down because I was that drunk that I would stop. Yeah.

Did you know anybody that was sober around you or that didn't drink? Yeah. So, leading up to the end of my drinking period, one of my good friends, and she like me was quite a bit of a party girl. Like, there's one time me and her were working in a company and my marketing manager said to me, Faye, will you go to this networking event? And I was like, yeah, oh my God, that'd be free for sacco, free, alcohol free, cocktails.

And I was like, can my friend Holly in the different team come with me? And she was like, yeah, of course. And we went there. And at the start, I took it slow. I was drinking water. And then at the end of the night, like, I was just going for it. Because I just had no off switch. Once I started, it was risky.

There was no off switch. And I just remember the next day, I woke up at some random house with Holly. We'd been at this health party and I was trying to get a taxi man to take me to my car so I could drive to work and he was like, love, I am not taking you to your car, you stink of alcohol. And then we went back to my friend Holley's

and she was already off. I can't remember why, but she was off. And then she drove me to work in her clothes and I remember everyone being like, say, are you wearing Holly's clothes? And I was like, no, no, no, even though I went to work really late. But yeah, Holly, Holly is now three years sober.

I think she was a bit over three years sober. And I just watched her. I was just thinking, well, like, you are like me. You're similar, we've got a similar drinking style. And I used to watch her. She was going out doing all the same things that she was doing when she was drinking. Like she'd still go to all the parties. She'd still go to all the brunches.

She'd still go to meals, events, festivals. She was doing everything. And the next day, I'd watch her Instagram. She'd go for a gorgeous little walk. She would go to yoga. She was, it looked to me like she was actually living the best of both worlds. She could go out in the evening and then have the most amazing morning as well. So I did have her to be inspired by, yeah.

Yeah, no, that's great. Yeah, and follow along too. I mean, I think that's a big fear people have, though, is am I going to have any fun sort of on this other side of things? I'm wondering for you if there's a time where you could pinpoint sort of where, you know, I think there's like this, these cycles that happens when it comes to drinking, right? There's like before drinking where we probably never even really think about it.

It's not like we wake up in the morning or wondering if we're going to be drinking this weekend. And then we get into drinking and then it's like, can't wait for the weekends or whatever it is. And then I think we end up at this spot where life, just living life without it seems. so far out of reach, impossible. Like, why would I even entertain that?

I mean, was that, is that relatable at all to get to a spot in life where I remember having it myself of like, oh my gosh, a life without alcohol? Like, is there even a point of being alive type thing? And I'm always so curious about how that transition takes place. Because there's a lot of people who listen to the show and they're going to say, oh, my goodness, like they're at a spot right now in their life where without alcohol, it's like, what's the point? But the wild thing is, the further we get on this journey, it's like, oh, my gosh,

like where I sit today, not judgmental towards anybody who still drinks alcohol, teach their own, but it doesn't make any sense at all. And it wouldn't for me to bring it back into my life. What are your thoughts? Yeah, no, can definitely, definitely relate. I have girls always messaging me as well on Instagram and they're like, wow, you're doing so well, you're inspiring me. but I just can't, I can't see myself removing alcohol forever.

And I said, if going back to when I was still drinking, if someone said to me, Faye, why don't you remove alcohol forever, I would have told them to shut up, basically. Like, I would have said no. For me, even at the start of my sobriety, I was never removing alcohol forever. I was never removing alcohol forever, because alcohol to me was my average.

everything. Alcohol was for socialising. I was thinking, if I remove alcohol, how am I going to make friends? How am I going to socialise? How am I going to go to a wedding? How am I going to go to a christening? How am I going to go to work drinks? How am I going to go to a bottomless brunch? Like honestly, the list was endless. Like you said, like I was thinking, what is the point of a life without alcohol? Because alcohol was everything, everything. So I can 100% relate to that. And I just, at the start, of my sobriety, I just give myself a six-month experiment. That's all it was. It was just, I tried to look at it like an exciting experiment. I didn't tell myself it's forever.

I just thought, what are the, well, it was actually three months into my sobriety. I saw a quote and it was like, most people don't change because they focus too much on what they're given up instead of what they're gaining. And that quote for me just lit up in my brain. It was like a light bulb switch. And then I started to look at what I was gaining. And it was honestly that moment where I thought, wow, I am actually gaining so much more by not drinking than I would to drink. And it was honestly about three months into my sobriety that I was thinking,

oh my God, I'm actually not going to go back to drinking. I'm really not going to go back to drinking. But I do think this is my opinion and I'd love to hear your opinion. But I just think at the start, don't tell yourself forever. Just see it as an experiment and just take the one one day at a time. Yeah, what's your thought on that? Yeah, I mean, for me, I don't spend much time in forever's because, I mean, the reality is tomorrow that could be it for me. So, I mean, that's kind of like the maybe the dark truth of it of everything, right?

But I think that's the reality. Like, why am I going to worry about, you know, for something. somebody starting out of hitting one year and two years and 10 years. Like, I mean, in all areas of life, and it's not like in my life today, I'm not fighting not to drink. I mean, I have other things I'm working on, but like my life is not like it was in the beginning where I'm just like, oh, my goodness, you know, my first year, I'm like, this don't drink, whatever you do, just, you know, remember what they told you, right?

Whatever it takes. You have all these scenarios playing out. And then in today's world, you know, I mean, that passes, right? I think a lot of people, you know, very relatable. It makes a lot of sense, right? I mean, you just list it off, you know, like you said, five or six points about how your life revolved around the substance, the drug, alcohol.

And a life without it, it can feel like, my goodness, what am I going to do? Like what? I think the word identity really stands out to me when I kind of hear that about this is who we are. This is how people expect us to show up in the world. world. This is like, what are they going to think if I'm not drinking? And the reality is, too, things with us might change a little bit. I hear from a lot of people. They're like, I'm an introvert and I never realized it until I quit drinking. I rather hang out at home.

I don't like the chaos and unpredictability of going out as much. And I think that that's a lot of our, a lot of our stories, too, is that we were using the alcohol to really be, I don't know if it's relatable, but I always remember this, this quote. I don't know where it's from, but it was like, who were you before the world told you who you had to be or something? And I just think like, that's a big part of like the alcohol journey to where, you know, everything's all right for a bit. I think for most people, everything's okay for a bit. And then we lean more and more to it. And I always say, the more we lean into it, the less we lean into maybe more healthy ways to go through life. And I think you brought up a great example of that of emotions, like how to feel them,

how to work through them, how to manage them, how to identify them. And we don't learn that stuff. It's like, that's why a lot of people say, you know, I want to get sober. And I say, man, that's great. Like, that's great. But there's also a skill set involved with staying sober. I mean, getting sober is like, okay, I didn't drink today. But that's only going to get us so far. It's like learning those other things you kind of brought up. So yeah, I mean, I'm on for the one day at a time and not saying forever. I think forever can be really overwhelming for people. So yeah, I mean, just don't drink today and see where you land and decide for tomorrow,

tomorrow when you get up if you want, you know? I love that. Oh, my God, my ADHD brain, I've got a million and ten things to say after that. One thing I really want to say quickly is what you would just say in is, and I saw a quote and it was like sobriety at the start is not how it feels forever. And I remember hearing that quote and I was like, I don't know, I felt like I could have a massive sigh. And it was a bit of relief that sobriety at the start is not how it feels forever.

So I think that's a really, really important point because, yeah, sobriety for me at the start was really difficult. Like I got sober in summer in Australia. I am a UK girl where binge drinking is so, so, so normal. As soon as I used to see the sun, that was Apropos spritz time, it was prosciko time, it was cocktail time. Like it meant it was drinking time. And yeah, definitely going back to the identity as well. So me, I was Fay, the party girl.

And I just thought, like, who am I? If I remove alcohol, like, who am I? without alcohol, like that just seemed absolutely crazy. Because as well, like, I was talking about the drinking ego. I had this, like, really cringe-worthy ego. Now I come to think about it. But I used to basically think, like, I was some, like, tomboy, this, like, like, dealer when I was drinking.

Like, I really, really thought I was dead cool, gangster style, gangster style. And, yeah, I just thought, like, who am I with out the alcohol? Oh, I know what I was going to say as well. And just going back to like when you remove alcohol, like yeah, I thought when I was drinking, I was a extrovert. I needed to be out. I was so loud. I was always going to a party. If anyone asked me to go to a party, I would be first to say yes or I'd be like arranging the party. Like I was such an extrovert whilst drinking. And I have exactly what you said, realize, like now I've removed alcohol. Like, I actually do love my own space. I have really invested in my living room, in my office,

just made everything so cozy. And I love that. I absolutely love that. I've made it. To stop my sobriety, I did make an effort because I seen another quote and it was like, make your sobriety sacred. So I started getting like little cushions, little candles. And yeah, I just saw it as a time to like go all in on myself floor, like give back. to myself, but yeah, it's just so crazy. Oh yeah, and another thing that you said as well about their alcohol is your social lubricant. So even as well when I was drinking, there would be times where actually I didn't want to go to events, but I knew if I had a couple of drinks, I wouldn't care. I would be having the time of my life. So I would use alcohol

to basically force me to get through things. And I always say now to like the girls are where girls in my DMs to say like, do you actually want to go? If you remove alcohol, do you want to go to that event? Because most of the time we actually don't. And there's a quote by Mark Manson,

another quote God I'm throwing the quotes about. But Mark Manson says, if you need alcohol to enjoy the single person, then you actually don't enjoy the single person. And again, that really, really, really hit home. Like, for me, to force myself to work drinks. I actually used to force myself. I never wanted to go. It was the alcohol that I wanted. It wasn't the people. We didn't share the same values. We just, yeah,

I didn't share the same. This isn't a previous job. And as soon as I removed alcohol, I realized, like, they're just not my people. And I don't want to give them my energy. With sobriety, I've realized how precious my energy and my time is that if I don't want to do it, I won't do, I'm going to protect myself and have boundaries, which another thing, boundaries I did not have at all when I was drinking. Did you? Yeah. No, not really. No, not really. No, not at all. I mean, but I think these are all good points of sort of the process in, in sort of trusting the process, too, of not drinking, of getting sober and of moving through this. And I mean, initially it's like, that's the, none of this other work can happen while we're still drinking. So it's like the not

drinking part is like, okay, that's the big mountain to climb. But I think we'd be setting ourselves up to say, hey, you know what? That's all that needs to be done. You know, because sometimes you just see it out there. It's like, yeah, I quit drinking and my life changed. And it's like, yeah, I mean, but there had to be more effort that we put in, you know, with time, right? But that is, of course, that is the starting line and in your you're so right i mean where you start anything in life is not where you finish no you know it's the same goes for same goes for this this journey as well yeah no you just um made me remember something else that i wanted to say so we were talking before about like drinking yeah removing alcohol is only i'd say 10% of it it really is 10%

but the hard part is everything else and i actually tried to remove alcohol I'd say about three months before I actually removed alcohol. I was convinced I am going to stop drinking. So I went home to England. I was with my mum again. And it was in November. And my mum did like a Christmas in November because obviously I was home from Sydney. I was in England. And my mum spent so much time making like a Christmas dinner, putting the Christmas tree up and everything. And me and my brothers went out with all of my friends the night before and we basically crawled in. and I mean we crawled through the door at six o'clock in the morning. And my mom had honestly put so much effort into it. And I was like, Mom, just don't speak to me.

I'm so ill. My head's banging. I need to go to bed. And my mom bought like champagne and orange juice. Me and Mom were both drinking at this time. And I was like, Mom, I can't. I'm going to be sick. Like, please get that out of my face.

And I was horrible. Like, I was just, when I was drinking, I was so selfish. It was all about me. And at the end of the night, like, I didn't drink at all that day. I was like, I just can't. And I was like, Mom, I'm going to stop. I've just ruined another day for us all. Like, this is going to be a gorgeous family day,

and I've just ruined it. And I honestly thought, Brad, that day, that was it. I was going to stop because just my drink in the blackout. And because I didn't do any of the work, I didn't realize, I didn't know there was other things you needed to learn. As soon as I flew back to Sydney, I saw the sun. Literally, the day I landed, I went on a walk, a nice, gorgeous coast of walk with the sun.

a partner Joe, we ended up in the pub and I ended up again, blacking out and I was straight back to drinking. So there is so much work. You do need to, you do need to prepare. Like I didn't know that I was going to get like triggers. You've got all of these associations. The reasons why you drink. Like in that case, I think, to be honest, I think I was stressed. Again, it was to normal. I was stressed. I just got to come back to Australia. I didn't have a job. there was a lot of reasons why I was drinking and I didn't know, I didn't have a clue there's actually a bigger reason behind the drink

it's not just that you want the drink like if when I was drinking someone would say oh why did you drink I would say oh I just love the taste like I just love the taste that's what I used to say all the time it's just so lovely but it wasn't until I got sober and I joined a course learning oh my God I drink because I'm stressed I'm drinking because I'm lonely, but I didn't even think I'm lonely. How can I be lonely? I've got so many

people around me. But lonely was one. There was so, so many reasons. Like self-care, I thought alcohol was self-care. I thought on a Friday night after a really stressful week. I was going to say a one glass of wine, but that was an absolute lie. I'd say like self-carers do bottles of wine. Like, I used to think that it was self-care. It wasn't until I did the course that I realized, oh my God, alcohol will spike your cortisol. Yes, you get that dopamine hit for maybe 20 minutes of the drink, but then the cortisol spike the next day, it's just adding way more stress.

So for a person like me, a high achiever, I have like these massive to-do lists, so many projects on, all these schedules, and I'm just so ambitious. And I'd be so stressed by Friday that I would need a drink. And then all weekend I wouldn't have touched my to-do list because I was so hung over. then on Monday to overcompensate, I would add even more to do to add more onto my to-do list.

And then I was just back in that cycle again, Friday. So yeah, there's so much more than just removing alcohol, even looking at your values. I didn't even know what a value was. Self-compassion. Oh, my goodness me. I didn't know what self-compassion was before sobriety. I used to be so horrible when I was drinking. horrible to myself,

calling myself all kinds in the mirror. Oh my God, look at you, state you go, you can't do anything with your life. You're such a failure. Did this, do that.

And I thought that would motivate me to do better. I've since learned in sobriety, self-compassion is the only thing that's going to motivate you, get you through, being your best friend. Like when I was drinking,

another thing quickly, sorry, my ADHD brain's going a bit wild. But another thing, like when I was drinking, I had no, self-love whatsoever because how can anyone have self-love when you're always losing your passport losing your phone your bag you've upset your your boyfriend your mom everyone losing everything like you can't have self-love how can you you wouldn't love your brother if they kept losing your phone

and that so you wouldn't have the same love for yourself so I had no self-love whatsoever and I remember at the start my sobriety I was reading a book and it was it was a self-love book because I knew myself was just in the pit. And it said, you can't work on your self-love if you are living in shame, regret and guilt. And I was like, oh my God, whilst I am drinking, I am in that constant cycle. Like, maybe I didn't drink Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, but on like a Thursday, I got in the mood. So Thursday I was drinking Friday, Saturday, Sunday in Australia, Sunday's a big drinking day. I had no self-love whatsoever. And it was only until I removed alcohol that I actually gave myself room to stop being kind to myself. And honestly, I've become at my best friend

and become my biggest hype girl, which I just feel unheard of. Yeah. So the self-love, self-compassion, yeah, a ton of areas of, you know, the process that you just brought up there. Yeah. It's kind of the way that the drinking goes, as we tell ourselves time and time again, I'm just going to have a little bit and it's not going to be bad tonight. And then it turns out, We have more than we wanted to, more than we had committed to ourself having. So we lose trust in ourself. And you compound that over years. It's like, yeah, we can't trust ourselves anymore to do what we say we're going to do

or follow through with stuff. And it's so unpredictable and the chaos and the shame and the guilt. And yeah, I mean, all that stuff adds up, right? It really adds up over the years, too, of each one of these situations, you know, maybe not massive on their own, but they're each kind of taken away a little bit. I think every time these things happen, I was anyway. I was just disappointed in myself. I'm like, gosh, this isn't the way I was, you know, was raised to be living like this.

And then you brought up that other thing, too, about selfish and just worrying about ourselves. And then I think denial is a big part was for me anyway. Like, no, come on. Look at John over there. I mean, John is really ruining his life. Not me, though. Like, I'm not as bad as him, you know.

So I think that kept me going for a little bit, too. How old are you now? and how old, I mean, how old you are now, I guess we could kind of piece it together of how old you were when you got sober. Yes, so I'm 30 now. I got sober when I was 27, so two and a half years ago.

And I think it wasn't really a rock bottom. It was a accumulation of lots of things. There was lots of things going on. But I do want to add as well. So maybe a bit of my story as well is, whilst I was seeing my psychologist, my psychologist was saying like, there's someone else with you. We need to look into it.

She made me go to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD. And we were talking about like symptoms, like the impulse control. Sorry, sorry. Was this before or after you got sober? So this was before. I got diagnosed before I got sober. Gotcha. And I remember.

like I did think maybe I've got it after my psychologist told me but I've never really thought I was ADHD because growing up I was always the dyslexic one I was the one who got the words muddled off and couldn't spell it was my sister my sister's the ADHD one so I went to the psychiatrist and he asked me to bring like my dyslexia report school reports and like we read it and it was like fake on sit still fake on listen

if they can't obtain information. And he was like, yeah, and then we talked about my drinking and relationships, like the impulse control, decision making, oh my goodness, procrastinating emotional regulation. And when we were talking about it, because I did go down the medication route, but at the start he was telling me,

because I had to go for a few sessions with him before he would medicate me anyway, but he was warning me he was like if you do go down the medication route alcohol it's it's really doesn't go well with alcohol medication and alcohol don't go well and your your symptoms will exacerbate um the mood regulation would be even worse the next day so that was like a huge part as well and i think yeah then i got sober i was starting to listen in to podcast about ADHD in alcohol and I was thinking, yeah, maybe, maybe it is a sign because I didn't realize most people with ADHD do self-medicate on alcohol. Like, most people with ADHD, like,

we have such a scattered brain as you can tell today. And we use alcohol to, yeah, calm our nerves, to chill out, be more calmer. And yeah, I think listen to a few podcasts. I was like, okay if I want to go down the medication route I need to remove alcohol so that was a big a big part of my journey and I did I try medication for about a year and a half and I'd say it it did really really help for a year and a half but what my because I'm sorry what my sister told me was and my sister used to be medicated as well is the medication just use it for a short period learn the strategies I've still seen my psychologist and learn that the strategies is because when you're on the ADHD medication, it helps you absorb things a lot better and help

to build new habits. And I think in that year and a half, without the alcohol and the ADHD medication, it did really, really help to build my habits. And now I'm off medication. I've been off medication maybe a year. And honestly, my ADHD symptoms, obviously I've got, oh, my goodness me, I've locked myself out two weeks ago. I've just lost the keys of my old apartment. I've just moved out and I've lost them. So I still have. some things. But honestly, since removing alcohol with the ADHD, my symptoms have lowered, 100% lowered because, yeah, alcohol at the end of the day, it just makes you so much more impulsive. Like, whilst I was drinking, I had no impulse control. Like, my boyfriend was so

worried because I would just keep buying courses. Like, I'm so curious. I hyperfocus a lot. I'm just always learning books and stuff. And I had no impulse control whatsoever. And since removing an alcohol, even my little brother, he gave my mom a compliment and was like, yeah, phase actually really content now. And like, that's actually a big compliment off my brother. I actually really, really felt that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that is so interesting, too. Yeah, I mean, the self-medicating ADHD too. And I mean, there's a lot of stuff out there, too, that says it runs in, you know, families. So I would be, you know, even curious if tracking it back in sort of your family. I mean, I know I have it. I know I can track it back in my family.

A lot of people have never really explored it. I know that and they choose to lean into alcohol heavy and it's very, you know, it's not, not the probably the best choice, but yeah, it's all of those things, right? I remember when I was recently going through my assessment to, you know, for the ADHD, right, they're going back in childhood. But I pinpoint the time exactly like it was yesterday. I mean, I had been on medication probably ever since I was eight until I was about 17 and then I came up with this genius idea just to quit taking any medication. And I know I could see it

clear as day. My life would dumpster fire overnight, a dumpster fire overnight, jail, rehab, everything. And when I look back, that's what a lot of it comes back to. I mean, I just didn't have sort of the skills or, or you don't know what you don't know. You know, I had no idea. What I was really doing, I didn't really understand the scope of the medication I was taking and then what you know was helping me with but you know there's just kind of pros and cons to a lot of things right and at that time i guess at 17 i had the world figured out and then i was going to start making different choices but um it's interesting too because i think with with some of this stuff and maybe some other things when we're drinking we don't really actually know what's going on

maybe 100 percent i think when we get sober i hear a lot of people in their first year and maybe even into their second year. I think a big part of our first year is like our mind is really occupied with not drinking. So it keeps us fairly busy. Our second year, we kind of start asking like now what, you know, what's next for me? What am I going to work on now? And I think that's when people can maybe realize too, like, hey, what was alcohol masking something else? Or it is because something, is something else going to kind of show up? You know, a lot of people ask me too, Brad, what do I need to be working on? I don't know what I need to be working on. I'm like, just, tight. It'll come to the surface. You know, like you just hang in there. A lot of this stuff

will kind of show up. But your awareness increases the longer you're not drinking to say like, okay, you know, maybe there's something here. But it is interesting. I mean, I looked it up too. I think it was, I don't want to get the stat wrong completely. So just take it for what it's worth team. But I think it's at 50% of people, you know, without treating or undiagnosed ADHD can struggle with substance use disorder from this one study they had. So I mean, that's like a really big thing to, and there's plenty of ways to, you know, work with the ADHD. It doesn't have to be medication. There's plenty of different options, but it's just saying basically untreated, you know, not doing anything is definitely riskier. Yeah, I think I read the same study about the 50%.

Like it is, and it goes hand in hand. I'd say it's all like, even if I think about it with my mom, Like my mom is definitely typical ADHD, even my nan blessa. Oh my God. So, yeah, just so funny. But yeah, it's just, I feel like the more you learn about it, the better you can manage it as well. And I think it's gone hand in hand. My sobriety in learning about ADHD.

So my sobriety has allowed me to start eating healthy when I was drinking oh my God, because I'd be hung over, because I'd be lazy, I'd be having like McDonald's, I'd be having like a pizza, like all the time. I'd be eating rubbish. They have Taco Bell in Australia? No, I don't think we do. Oh, my God. Have you ever been to Taco Bell?

No. No. Well, you're not missing out on much. Oh, no. So, yeah, I feel like, yeah, it just went hand in hand. So being sober has allowed me to be healthy. exercise, which I didn't do a lot of when I was hung over. And because I'm eating healthy, because I'm exercising, it really has helped my ADHD.

Like, it's crazy. And even my psychologist does say that is a link. And we always set like mini goals, what can I do this week? And just looking after me, like sleeping. I didn't used to sleep, obviously, a lot when you're drinking because it just ruined your REM sleep. But it's just like a domino effect. Yeah, it's amazing.

Like you wouldn't think just removing one thing, just remove an alcohol would help so many different areas of your life. It's crazy. It's actually crazy. Yeah, I mean, that's a home run right there because it does. Yeah, it really does. I mean, I think if you fall into, you know, under an umbrella of things being a problem or you're just being so far out of line with who we are, you know, at our core. it doesn't really line up. It improves so many areas of like everything.

I can't sit here and tell you one area in my life that hasn't improved. Like, I mean, there's not one. There's not one area. I mean, relationships. I mean, finances is huge too. I mean, that causes a lot of stress in life too. And, you know, spending all this money on this going out. Like, I remember we used to go out.

I mean, it was nothing to spend $200 that I didn't have on my capital one credit card that, you know, was really. way overdue. Like, you know, all of that stuff, right, that would add up and all the other areas of life as far as our mental health, physical health, you know, our motivation to really do a heck of a lot. I mean, I saw something the other day. It said, you know, you're hung over like one day, one day a week or one weekend. I mean, 52 weekends a year. It's 52 days. You know, and I look back and I was, you know, wonder, well, nothing good happens for me or I don't catch a break and everybody else gets a break and you know i look back at it now from a different lens um you know one of compassion

too like you brought up earlier i think it's great it's like hey you know what was was we can't go back and change it but also realizing too and being honest with myself well the reason i wasn't catching any breaks or things weren't happening because i was hung over every morning so how was i putting it out there to the world that i was prepared to take on a big task you know people talk about it all the time when they get sober like, oh my gosh, like I'm getting these opportunities. I never got any of these opportunities before. And I think there's an element of like we're letting the universe know or letting something out there know or people pick up on it that, hey, we can actually handle these tasks or show up for these opportunities. Anything that really stands out to you over the last

two and a half years that, you know, any struggles you went through or any other changes that you noticed that you were just like, hey, that was kind of surprising? I think one of my favorite things, and I always go on about this, is just my relationship with my family, I didn't realize what a negative effect I was having on my family, like the stress with my mom, stress my brothers. So actually, my brothers both had me blocked on social media because they couldn't look at me, they couldn't watch me. I was just the nuisance.

Just, yeah, police come into my mum's house. It was just awful. And since I've removed alcohol, like me and my mum are just the best friends. My mom's sober again now, which is amazing. We've got a gorgeous relationship. We send each other podcasts, a variety podcast. We send each of the books.

It's absolutely amazing. So my relationship with my mom, but my relationship with my brothers, it's just we, they would never sit in a room with me if I was drinking, like they hated me. Like, we had no relationship whatsoever. And they're both in Australia with me. And we have had the most amazing time going for food, experiences.

They've stayed with me. And I've had, like, alcohol-free prosceco. And I just think, like, if I was drinking, we wouldn't have had any of that. And I didn't realize what a huge impact relationships are on you. Because I think when I was drinking, I was like, I don't need my family anyway. Like, I'm just drinking.

Like, that's it. Like, I wouldn't want to spend time with them. All I thought of is where am I going to go drinking with friends? Who am I going to go drink with? And my relationships have just, yeah, family and my partner, just I'm friends. It's been a huge fault. I just didn't realize how important they were to me until I removed alcohol. Yeah, that's beautiful.

Yeah. So now they're, then you said one of your brothers is staying there, right? Are they older or younger than you? Younger, younger. So I've got one who is, God, I'll probably get the age just wrong, one's 25 and one's 27. So this weekend I've got both of them staying with me, which is absolutely amazing.

Like I'm so excited for that. And I just think like if I was drinking, they wouldn't have at all come and stayed with me. They would have just thought that was like the worst thing that there. But I'm really excited for the weekend. We'll just like go out and chill and watch TV and it just be lovely. are so close now, which is crazy. Like at one point, we were all living together,

and my mom used to say, like, her friends would say, oh, how are your kids? And my mom would say, they all live together, and they would say, no, because we used to fight like crazy. And everyone's just so sharp, but we're just so close to have removed alcohol. Yeah.

No, that is one thing that we actually were talking about. One of the hosts in the Subur Motivation Community, I jumped on one of her meetings this morning and brought up the topic of relationships. And now, you know, we've noticed them change or how would you, you know, like for them to change? And I think a lot of people's stories the same is that I always lean on this one quote. And I don't know. I never remember who, or even if it is credited to somebody. But I had the most friends when I was the worst version of myself.

And I think that it, you know, I used to have all these pals. You know, I'm doing air quotes. But I get all these friends. and buddies and everything. And now I don't have all these friends and buddies. It's not this massive thing, but there's a ton more value there. And there's so much more to it than what there was before. And I think that is kind of one of the things that relationships kind of just in general,

when we're on this journey, they change a little bit, right? You change with your priorities. And like you mentioned earlier, the energy, you know, you don't want to be drained all the time by stuff. And sometimes it can feel heavy for me. I mean, I have a lot of people around me who still drink a lot. And when I get those phone calls and get in those conversations, I can, I can almost see my battery just running out just because it's that chaotic that, you know, that life, like still live in that way. But then on this side, you create more meaningful relationships. Plug in. I mean, connect on a deeper level. I mean, one of the biggest

lies I bought into with alcohol that it was helping me connect. with people. Like, it's helping me go out to these parties. It's helping me, you know, share what I couldn't share if I was in drinking. And now I look back and I'm thinking like, man, I, I had that wrong. I was so far disconnected from people when I was drinking and myself included than I am now, you know, living sober and connected with people where it's not like fake, you know. I mean, alcohol has that. It's not like, it's not like, everybody's like, you know, social lubricant. Like, I mean, that's great, but it's not was never really me.

So it was like it was never really genuine. I never learned, I think like you touched on earlier, like I didn't learn those skills how to like genuinely be myself until getting sober. And it was scary because then I'm like, are people going to like me or are they not? And then kind of as you go, you, you find your crowd, you know, and it might, it might be the four quarters is better than a hundred pennies. And, you know, I think that's good. Oh God, I can relate so much to that, especially at the start I was, yeah, when I was drinking, I had so many friends, but like, they weren't, were they friends or were they just, well, my boyfriend always says, Faye, they're drinking friends, they're not your real friends. And when I remove for alcohol, like, a lot of my friendships, and I mean a lot, I'd say, yeah, maybe 80% of my friendships did part. And at the start, yeah, I was absolutely hardbroken. I was scared. I was really, really scared. But, I'd say, yeah,

It did then allow space. It opened up space for me to make new friends. So now I've got so many friends. I go to a book club. I go to a run club. And these new friends that I've got, they're not all sober. But we've actually got the shared same values.

Like we all value personal development and wellness and wholesome things. Whereas my old friends, we valued alcohol. We valued drinking. And when we removed alcohol, there really wasn't much of a friendship. So yeah, at the start, yeah, friendships may go, but it creates, it creates space to create new, meaningful relationships. Yeah, I love that what you said.

Yeah, and that's a good point too, because I even shared in the meeting this morning that I feel that I held on to some things, some friendships for too long. And by doing that, they took up space that could have been for a new opportunity. But I was just new. I was just learning.

I was just new. But now if I could, now with things, I have a good, a good spidey sense, I think, of if they're going to go anywhere and like kind of when is the time to try something else and maybe open up that space for, you know, maybe something else that could connect, right? So, yeah. But it is tough. I mean, but I think that kind of plays into the whole, the whole narrative, right, of us wanting to fit in and be accepted and feel, you know,

You talk about the ego, right? Like feel important and this is my purpose and this all this stuff that gets tied up into it. And it's like, oh my gosh, you know, like, I don't know. It's just so much simpler on this side of things. Like, I mean, you talk about your weekend watching TV and going and seeing a couple of sites. And it's just like, it's so like simple but so beautiful other than the chaotic, unpredictable madness of things that were in my life before. just heading towards wrapping up,

hey, congrats with everything, by the way, too. Really appreciate you jumping on here and sharing with us. Is there anything

that stands out to you that you could mention to anybody listening that helped you, you know, get started on this journey or, you know, has helped you,

you stay on it? Yeah, I would say, immerse yourself in the sobriety world. So make sure you're listening to Brad's podcast, sober motivation. Just make sure that you are,

yeah, listen to a podcast. every day, go on a walk and prioritise yourself. At this time, you do need to put yourself first. So at the start of your sobriety, if you think going to that works drinks or friends party is going to be a bit overwhelming, don't go. Like, this time is your time. And I'd also say, look after your health as well, prioritize, sleep.

Because I didn't realize when we're not trying to drink, we're actually using, a lot more energy because drinking would be habitual. Like I didn't realize how habitual my drinking was. Like Friday it equals a drink. So we are using a lot more energy. So make sure you are prioritized and sleep. Try and eat healthy balance, exercise and just make sure you still are socializing. Maybe just swap your socializing for early morning things or brunch rather than the

evening things. But yeah, I'd say that are the three main points. Yeah, those are incredible. So no more McDonald's. Yeah. You know, health balance. Yeah. You know, even on that, too, because like McDonald's, they used to have salads here anyway, they did.

Now, I guess after the pandemic and everything, they don't even sell salads anymore. So I was like, okay, well, that's kind of strange. But, yeah. So food for thought, it's not going to probably be the healthiest of balance for it. No, I love those. Those are great, great things. that have helped you. And I mean, switching up to, I love that too, of hanging out in the morning, but also still connecting. I love the other point you made, too, about going to your book clubs

and your run clubs and how everybody's not sober, but you're on a, you know, a common path of wellness and improvement, everything like that. I think that's cool, too, because sometimes I think it can be overwhelming that we think, because we're on this journey of not drinking, everybody around us can't drink. Like, we have to find only people who don't drink. And, you know, the reality is some people might live in small towns and everybody's situation is a little bit different. I would say you find people that got a good vibration to them in a sense, you know, and not everybody who drinks is going to have a problem. That's another thing I thought when I was like, I have a drinking problem.

I was like, everybody who drinks is going to be disastrous. I mean, the reality is like it's not what I would choose to do, but for some people, it's not. They're not doing it all the time and you might be able to still, you know, start somewhere with that with getting a coffee book club run club i mean there's so much opportunity out there i think in today's world to really get connected with like-minded people you know get your day started off on the right foot i mean community is always um you know massive thing we have a lot of people who join who join the community that maybe they got six or seven months you know kind

of a solo journey white knuckling they call it sometimes right about like just i'm just not And then when they join the community after eight months, nine months, ten months, they're like, gosh, you know, I wish I started here on my first day. Everything would have been so much better, so much easier, knowing that I'm not alone and knowing that there's other people out there and building some relationships and connecting with other people and just being a part of something. It really just changes it. You know, just like, man, I should have, you know, I wish I would have. None of us can go back. It is what it is in today's world. But being a part of something, right?

You don't have to do this alone. You don't have to. Yeah, it does make it a lot more fun when you're doing it with a community. Definitely makes it more fun because you need to make it fun as well. Because sobriety, it can see him at the start boring. So you do need to add things in. You can't just remove alcohol and carry on doing the same thing. So, yeah, I think adding more fun into it and definitely a community who just gets it.

Yeah. Awesome, Faye. Well, thank you. Great job. Two and a half years and keep it going. Amazing. Thank you so much for having me, Brad. I really, really enjoyed this talk. Thank you. Yeah, of course. Well, there it is another incredible episode here on the podcast. Thank you for listening along. Keep up the great work out there, Faye. Thank you so much for to support with the show and also joining on to share your story. I'll drop face contact information for Instagram down on the show notes below and I'll see you on the next one. Thank you.