Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond shares about his battle with alcohol and what happened after - Rerun Show

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

Brad Garrett has been sober since 1997. Due to childhood trauma and other factors, he found that he could escape from himself with alcohol and marijuana. Over the years, this addiction progressed, but the bottom never completely fell out. On a vacation trip to Maui, he had an experience that would change the trajectory of his life. Since then, Brad has accomplished some amazing things. This is Brad Garrett’s story on the 'Sober Motivation Podcast. This is a previous episode that we are rerunning.    At the end, I also share my goodbye letter to substances. ------------------ Follow Sober Motivation on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermotivation/ Check out the SoberBuddy App: https://soberbuddy.app.link/motivation More Info on SoberLink: www.soberlink.com/recover  

Welcome to season three of the sober motivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week is my guests and I share incredible, inspiring, and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible one story at a time. Let's go. Brad Garrett has been sober since 1997. Due to childhood trauma and other things, he found he could escape himself with alcohol and marijuana. Over the years, his addiction progressed, but the bottom never fell out completely. On a vacation trip in Maui, he had an experience that would change the trajectory of his life.

Since then, Brad has gone on to do some really amazing things. This is Brad Garrett's story on the Sober Motivation podcast. Getting sober is a lifestyle change, and sometimes a little technology can help. Imagine a breathalyzer that works like a habit tracker for sobriety. Soberlink helps you replace bad habits with healthy ones. Weighing less than a pound than as compact as a sunglass case, sober link devices have built-in facial recognition, tamper. detection and advanced reporting, which is just another way of saying it'll keep you honest.

On top of all that, results are sent instantly to love ones to help you stay accountable. Go after your goals. Visit soberlink.com slash recover to sign up and receive $50 off your device today. How's it going out there? Everyone, hopefully your days well when you decided to tune into this episode. Look, this is a re-release of an earlier episode. I reached out to a couple fans of the show. I said, what was one that you'd want to maybe check out again?

They said this was a great one. I think that new people to the show would really enjoy hearing it. So here we are. This is a re-release episode of Brad Garrett. Most people know Brad from Everybody Loves Raymond. And he's also the voice of probably half of the Disney characters out there, which I didn't know until just before this interview that I did. And at this time, I was still learning podcasting.

I'm still learning, but I was more learning back then, and you might notice from the show I was editing my own shows too and listening back to this episode. I missed a few things, but 1% better every day. Look, we did this incredible activity in the Sober Buddy app this week about writing a goodbye letter to our substance of choice, alcohol, drugs, whatever it may be. Man, let me tell you, I was moved, honestly moved

when people were sharing their letters in the group of them saying goodbye and what things were like and a lot of people to share was like breaking up with someone. In a sense it is. But look, I put a letter together. I shared it in the group tonight with everybody. I could barely get through it because the emotions were running. I'm going to share it at the end of the show, though.

They said I should share it. I'm going to run with it. I'll share it at the end of the show. My goodbye letter. But I hope you enjoy this one. As always, as always, thank you so much for the support for not only the show, but also the guests that come on here and share their story. I mean, the messages you all send them,

and it really just picks them up and lets them know they're appreciated and that their story matters. Every story matters. And if you're looking for some more support on your journey, I'm telling you, these groups, these meetings, this connection, the support, the kindness, of everybody over at the Sober Buddy community is incredible. It's truly top-notch.

I'm over there three days a week. My friend, Megan's over there three days a week. Paul's there three days a week, and we've got Dave as well, who hosts a group on Wednesday morning. We've also got community hangouts where members of the community schedule some stuff on the weekends. We're starting up a book club.

Come and check it out. Your Soberbuddy.com. Welcome to another episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast. Today we've got Brad Garrett with us. How are you doing? I'm good, Brad. And how are you? I'm well. Well, we're alive, right? We're sober. We're alive. That's the truth. And I can't thank you enough for coming on here.

I know that the listeners are going to love every bit of this. My honor. Where we usually start is what was it like for you growing up? Well, let me see. Growing up, I grew up in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles, was raised by an amazing father who suffered from mental illness, who was bipolar, and an amazing dude who refused to really get help for his, as far as medication, but he was very much into therapy and in self-improvement, but he was horrible with self-care.

I was raised by a mom who pretty much lived in her bed most of her life. They were divorced when I was seven. My dad went on to get married six times. My mom was married three times. My mom was into pills, heavy duty, which I really didn't understand until I was kind of in my own addiction of like, oh my God, now I get it. My mom was, she suffered from massive depression, but she, you know, she did pills on top of it.

So growing up, you just kind of think, well, I have a parent that wants nothing to do with me. You know, they hide in bed. I don't see them often. She married a guy that was my stepfather. Good dude. Zero tools. Zero emotional skills. Zero parenting skills.

but somewhat of a provider. And I would just, you know, wait every weekend to go hang with my dad. My dad was, you know, kind of my better, my healthier place, even though it was kind of turbulent and erratic. His love for me was very well defined and strong and unconditional. So we had a little of both growing up. And, you know, when you're raised by addicts or people with, mental illness, you become the adult very quickly in a relationship where you should be a kid.

And I struggled to save my parents. I struggled to raise my parents. I struggled to make them laugh, to, to, you know, take anything off the light of them being struggling, unfortunately. And they both dealt with their struggles in different ways. I got very lucky because my dad knew, early on that I was going to need therapy as a kid. I took the divorce very tough. I had two older brothers that had a different dad than I did. And their dad split one day when they were babies and never came back. So they were dealing with that. Both of my brothers never suffered from addiction. They suffered by not unpacking the shit that we all had to went back, especially to get sober or just to live a healthy life and not to repeat the patterns.

You know, as I always say, you can get rid of the alcohol. And as you know, Brad, you could still have the isms. You know, I know guys that are dry drunks, but they're still drunks because they still have the anger and they still have the rage and they still have the shame and they still have all the stuff that came from the trauma of childhood. And we all have that to varying degrees. So my dad smart enough just to know in 1969, where it was really unheard of, especially for children, that I needed therapy. As much as he loved me,

he wanted me to get someone with an outside influence, someone that can be a friend of mine, and help me with what I struggled with at home. It was a tremendous amount of guilt and fear and stuff that kind of permeated my house when you have a mom that suffers from, you know, mental illness and addiction. But believe me, much, much better household than many friends of mine and many people I've encountered later in life. But in a nutshell, that's pretty much

a lot of humor, a lot of laughing. My dad was incredibly hysterical. Just a great dude that that could not let himself breathe very tough on himself. Is that where you get your, your comedy side from? I think I get a lot from him, definitely. My oldest brother, I lost both of my brothers. I lost my oldest brother to cancer about 12 years ago.

My middle brother, I lost him to cancer about four years ago. But my oldest brother was incredibly witty and funny. but my dad was kind of a king of humor and we used it a lot in our life you know we we it's helpful it's healing as we all know we all go to it so what was it like for you in high school and stuff did you get along with everybody did you have your group of people you know i was bullied mercilessly in junior high had trouble in grammars in great school for sure i was you know really really really the odd man out man. I was, you know, 5-11 at 12, couldn't play ball, had no athletic ability, easily frightened. And once they know that the biggest guy in school can't defend himself,

all of the kids that come from homes where they're being beaten decide, well, here's this nine-foot Jewish guy. We'll rattle him a bit. So there was there was a lot of that and that's where I really developed you know my humor was uh kind of my go to obviously it was my defense mechanism I would I would make fun of myself before they would have a chance to fuck with me was you know you're right I am a nerd because da da da da da right so that was my thing and that's kind of uh you know self deprecating humor really doesn't kick in until you're in like high school where people can really kind of get into it. So high school was easier.

I found myself in theater, you know, in choir, even though I'm tone deaf, stuff like that. I found my little niche. But to this day, I've always done better off alone. I'm a bit of a recluse. I'm now just a healthy recluse. I've learned to live with myself, which I obviously couldn't do when I was an alcoholic and an addict. you know, isolation, which I've always loved was not good for me when I was battling my addictions. It really is the person who I am. And when I was able to learn to live with myself

and be kinder to myself through my sobriety, then it was okay. You know, it was all right to be kind of, you know, isolated. And, you know, I'm just a homebody for whatever. reasons I'm comfortable there. I think a lot of it is because I have to be in front of a lot of people all the time for my job. There are people who crave that constantly, as I used to before I got clean. I needed that continued validation. And now it's like, yeah, it's great to feel. It's great to hear. I love I can do stand-up or I can be involved in a show. I'm very grateful for that. But I'm okay with the quiet. It no longer makes me. me feel unwanted or unneeded or unimportant.

And that was a big step, you know, I had to get to. Yeah. No, it sounds like it for sure. When did the addiction start for you? Like when did you start drinking in the other stuff? You know, I, it was funny. I never drank in high school, never had a beer, never had a joint. Then when I hit it, when I got out of, I graduated high school.

I was at UCLA for six weeks doing stand-up on open mic nights, why I was trying to study. I was really not college material. I wanted to be, I think I got into UCLA because of some of the theater and the stand-up. You know, I was doing stand-up literally at 16, and I think that helped me get into the theater department, but I didn't have the academia to really be a college guy. and I started working doing open mic nights. I started working as a waiter, did a lot of waitering gigs at TGI Fridays and Numero Uno. And then I started smoking weed.

Weed became really important to me. I started drinking heavily, I would say, in the restaurant biz right around 20, 21. I was hitting it pretty hard. And I was a very high function. addict, you know, and alcoholic, very high functioning. I think a lot of it is not just because of my size. I was able to hold a lot. And then the last five years of drinking, you know, is when I started blacking out and really I have this thing where I fell off of Julio Iglesias's tour bus when I was opening for him. And I thought I was on the first level and I was on the top. And I took a step

off the bus right in front of the hotel in New Jersey, landed on my face. And his drummer was a reserve fireman and was trying to shake me back to life and said, you know, what are you going to get help? And I was like, when you're done shaking me, probably. And of course, I drank five years after that. I stopped in 97, April 12th. You know, life is, life has been amazing. I drank my first year on Raymond, you know, I had worked, spent 20 years on the road as a stand-up doing little acting things here and there. And I finally got a show that became a hit. And, you know, like most alcoholics, I would drink when things were great. I would drink when things are bad. And I didn't think I'd make it. And I mean, I was straight all day. I worked straight all day.

I didn't drink during the day. I would go home. I would memorize my life. lines, I would have a fifth of vodka, wake up the next morning, and hit it. Then I'd go on the road. I'd open for different people in Vegas. And I would drink from like 4 p.m. to like 3 a.m. and hold it together and walk out there. And people closest to me had no idea. And I think people closest to me didn't want to have an idea. I think some of my family members were in denial. as much as I was because it scared them because I was kind of the glue that kept the family together. And even in my worst days, I took care of everybody and honored to have been able to have done that. But I think they were just scared of, you know, that one cog in the family

wheel that was the only one really still involved, you know, was suffering. So was this an everyday thing? What was it like for you throughout that, like that journey of the time when you're, you're doing the drinking? Like, how are you feeling about yourself? Yeah, you know, it was something where, you know, I always had excuses, obviously. We always make it convenient. But a lot, you know, I started working very young. I got lucky in stand up and I had a lot of good luck, too, you know.

There were guys a lot funnier than me that should have been doing the stuff I was doing. But I got lucky. and I got good enough at the right time to where, you know, some other opportunities were opening up. But as far as on the road, you know, you're working clubs, you're working casinos. It's all very close. It's all very easy. You go in your dressing room. You got your own bar.

And I just tried to really, really time it where, you know, there were times I wouldn't drink before I went on. And then there were times I needed three or four bells. before I could go on. And that just continued. And then after the show, it would continue. And so when things really started aligning in my life,

things that I really wanted to happen, happen, and I was still using and drugging and drinking. Oddly enough, it came down. I always wanted to be a dad my whole life. And I think a lot of it was turbulent as my childhood was, I had a very special relationship with my father. And I wanted to be able to one day duplicate that. He was an incredible dad, incredible friend. And I think later in life,

and even early for me, I think our friendship as father and son kind of blurred into parenthood. And I was maybe too much of a wingman and a buddy for him as I became older. And that line blurred between friendship and parenthood a little bit. But I always want to be a dad. And I knew there was no way I could put my kids to bed on a bender. And I just knew that that would kill me. I just so I decided I was in Hawaii was my last drink in Maui. I was with this chick who was supposedly

AA and a sponsor, yet she was with a blown out drunk. We went to Hawaii together. I had my last bender there, and I knew I was not going to be alive by the end of the year. There was just no way the amount I was consuming. And I got home from that trip and I got some help. And my key was therapy. My key was, that was my safe place, you know. Whenever I was in therapy, even when I was a kid or an adolescent, and I would keep going back and forth throughout my life. The weirdest thing is the therapist I saw when I was nine years old recently passed about two months ago. And he changed my life.

And we kept in touch for literally 52 years. He was just that beacon I needed. of someone outside of my life that was an incredible child therapist. And therapy was always my thing, because even early on, I dug in. You know, I knew there was shit that wasn't feeling right. And I dug in. And I think as a drunk or an addict, the last thing you deal with is the shit you've created. After you can deal with your trauma, after you can deal with the things that were done to you,

so much to a pack about how I was living and what I was doing to myself, which was just a continuation of the punishment I felt as a kid. And it's not about blaming mom and it's not about blaming dad. It's about strapping on a pair and going, how do I want to live my life? How do I want to be an example to people? How do I want to, you know, what do I want to leave? What do I want to learn? And, you know, I struggle with shit, you know, to this day.

I'm always refining my attitude. Gratefulness has been something that's been really important in my life, even when I was struggling in deepest in my shit, you know, I found a beacon of gratefulness, which I think is what we have to hold on to, you know, because we're such victims, alcoholics, and we love to play the victim. And we love to let everybody know how terrible are. life was or what was done to me. But at the end of the day, it's just, it's just an excuse. It doesn't mean it's not valid. It doesn't mean it's not important or hurtful or dreadful,

but it's the thing that's that will kill you for sure. And it's tough for people to unpack it. I'm, you know, I'm at a point in my life where I'm seeing so many friends relapsing. I know the pandemic, you know, that's the perfect storm for many people that are struggling. That isolation, the fear of the world, where the world is at right now, it's really scary. And I think something we haven't seen in our lifetimes about, you know, where we could be headed, where we're not headed. And I see a lot of people struggling. And even though we have all these outside fears, there's still people that never, unpacked. There's still people that never went through that, that, that trauma that, that they

had to, to deal with. And again, we all have it to varying degrees. But man, you know, every time I run into to someone who's working on sobriety and I work on it daily, obviously, but it's funny. We'll talk about something. I go, yeah, that, that really didn't affect me when I was a kid or when my brother did that to me or when my mom said that it really really didn't have no weight and then i'll see him five months later they went fuck oh my god i can't believe you brought that up and i you know and it's only because of my you know 25 years of trial and error you know myself yeah and uh and this shit's in your DNA this shit is in your DNA there's no question you know that it is handed down And, you know, it's something to be aware of.

I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah, because all the interviews I've done and all the people I've met over the years, the story is so common of their parents or their grandparents. Somebody along the line has definitely struggled with this. Yeah. So that's short. I'm wondering, too, though, April 12, 1997, after your trip in Hawaii. Yeah.

what was there something leading up to that that got the wheels turning or was this years in the making or was it just on that day you're like i can't keep living like this i have other things i want to do and this is in the way uh it was all of that it was all that i know this you know sounds corny i i you know i passed out on the beach uh and there was a real uh large part of me that was hoping the ocean would take me out. I didn't have the balls to, you know, go out there. Thank goodness. But I was really, you know, the booze had won.

I lied on my back in the 90s, and I look up at the sky, and I see this comet that had frozen in the sky. And I was like, well, you know, close to blacking out. I know, I'm sure I've hallucinated. And sure enough, it was the year that they had that comet that could be seen incredibly in Hawaii. And I'm not saying it was really a sign. But, you know, I'm not a God-fearing guy. I really don't believe in God.

But I believe in the universe. I believe and we have to put our sobriety, yes, to a higher power. Whatever that higher power is, it gives us comfort. But I'm not like there's a guy in the sky. you know, with the beard who's in charge of everything. And I've really never been about that. But there was something about that moment where I looked up and I see this incredible comment. And I just decided to live.

I just decided to, you know, when is enough enough? And it's like, you got to be ready. And it's so overdone. And you hear it all the, you got to want it. You know, no better. boundary, no tough love, no overlove, no enabling, no nothing can get that person there. And everyone tries. And when it's someone you're close to and to see what the loved ones go through and how it destroys their life, you know, I had people close to me where I went to Al-Anon and you just see

what it does to families and how heartbreaking it is. But at the end of the day, we all have to come the same conclusion. We have to choose it. We have to choose it. And there's nothing, you know, like watching a parent or a child, watch their, you know, mom or dad go through this. And I just, I just chose it. I wish I could say it was some huge epiphany. I was just exhausted of the dance. I was exhausted of waking up, fearing five people. And, you know, I was a type of drunk who would always buy a round for the bar to take the focus off my addiction. Well, this guy's a happy drunk and everything's great. And boy, he sure seems to be walking, okay.

And it's never arrested. I never had a DUI, never in a bar fight. How can I have a problem? Everything's perfect. Well, that's obviously the biggest lie. So I think what it was, Brad, is I was just, you know, ready. I think too after a while like for for me too I can relate to that a lot too there wasn't I did have like some rock bottom things with the what was your bottom what was your last bottom for me I would say what I kind of line it up with is I was living on the floor of my brother's apartment I was living on the floor of his apartment and I was you know on on pills heroin cocaine methadone at the time and I had just sort of this it's sort of of the same like in a sense i'm listening to your story the high school bullying the feeling

you know like you're not worthy i'm hearing all of something like this is i can relate a lot with this because that's how i felt my entire life like like the world was happening around me and i was like stuck in a snow globe and i never found like people i could connect with and i just always was an outsider but that morning it was one morning i couldn't even tell you that exact date i didn't get sober that day but i could remember that's one of the days when i picked up that 3,000 pound phone. And I called my grandparents who lived up here in Canada. And I asked them for help because I knew I had burned every bridge with my folks, my brother that lived in the U.S. with me at the time. To reach out to my grandparents, they drove down to North Carolina

the next day, picked me up. And I was in detox in South Florida in a couple of days. And I didn't get sober after that. But after that exact day. But that was really, that was really, really changed my life. Another thing, another bottom I had is I was a, I was living up in Canada and it was getting my life straightened out. I was 100% sober than either, but I went back to visit the, in the U.S. My parents lived there. And when I got off the plane, the police were there, local police. I had a warrant, three warrants out for my arrest for drug trafficking charges. I sold narcotics to an undercover police officer like three years or two years prior that I had no idea that I did that. And I ended up spending a year in jail. And then after I did the jail time,

I was deported back to Canada and given a lifetime ban to the U.S. But when I got caught, when I got arrested for that, that completely changed my life and was one of the best things that were happening in my life. Because for once, I couldn't escape myself anymore. I couldn't run anymore. It wasn't, I couldn't get to the substance anymore. And at one year when I was in jail, it was me versus me. And I had to figure out who I was or figure out who I wanted to be. And that's kind of what, you know, springboarded me to where I am now, now that you ask. There you go.

That's, wow, what a story. And you're in Canada now, obviously. Yeah, I just live outside of Toronto now. Oh, I love it there. Yeah. Love it there. Love Canada. Wow, what an incredible miracle that is.

Yeah. And then how long have you been doing this? The podcast. The podcast since October. Great. Yeah. So powerful, man. I'm so happy you're okay.

Yeah, thank you. I really am. Wow, what a life. Yeah. It's been a wild ride. Yeah, it's been a wild ride. But, you know, I mean, when I look back to, yeah, I can relate to the whole thing where you said,

because a lot of people ask me, like, what was it? You know, and I feel like some people are looking for this, like, I got hit by a bus and everything, changed and it's like well that wasn't a story but it was a buildup of many many things like I just couldn't look myself in the mirror for a long like six months before that because I was just so ashamed of what where I was in my life and I had lost everything and I came from really good family who really like you know I went to rehab for 12 months when I was 17 I mean I had every opportunity I've been going to therapy you know learning centers and sports and I had

every opportunity not to be, you know, hooked on pain, you know, pain medication and heroin. And yeah, I couldn't shake it. I couldn't, I couldn't shake it. I didn't even feel like I deserved like to get off of it, right? Like, why would I? I didn't plan on living past 25. So, you know, that's the tough part. It's amazing how much of it has to do with self-worth and identity and all that.

And you can be raised. were you raised in a loving home and all of that? Yeah, very loving. So, so what happens? You know, that's the, the million dollar question. What happens? I mean, you had, you know, does it come down to hereditary? You know, does it come down to just how we, you know, we all come pre-wired.

You know, I have two children who are very different from the same mom, right? So it's like, you know, what does it come? come like what have you discovered as far as addiction as far as how it can happen yeah i mean i think for me when i really think about it i'd think about it was a lack of purpose i never had really anything in my life to really look forward to or i was never really good at anything you know i tried out one of the one of the horrible stories and i mean everything's different looking back but i tried out for the soccer team in grade six and i wasn't a good soccer player but i was the only person not to make the theme. You know, looking back, I'm like, oh, whatever, you know, it's not a big deal.

But at the time, it probably was a bigger deal that I wasn't able to process. But like, you know, I definitely had trauma. My mom had my brother and I were twins when she was 17. Okay. You know, and my grandparents looked after us. When I was like six or seven, we moved down to the U.S. and then she was like a full-time single mom. We moved to Texas. She's a nurse. So she got a job down there nursing. You know, so she was a, you know, full-time single mom. So I'm sure that there's dynamics there that, you know, probably lead up to things.

But yeah, I mean, I just felt like I was just out of place. Like I was so uncomfortable in my own skin and you'll hear that a lot too. Yeah, me too. Me too. How about your pop? Was your dad around or? My dad is up here in Canada. So my mom married my stepfather.

I don't know exactly when, but that was probably a couple years after Texas. and then we moved to North Carolina and then, you know, the first- Is your dad stay involved? Yeah, yeah. My dad lives here, yeah? Right, great. Yeah. But the first time I got into doing drugs, the first drug I ever did was cocaine, but I was just

like- That was your first drug? First drug, yeah. But when I was- Over weed and everything? Yeah, when I was in high school, I never drank or smoked pot or anything. None of that. I wasn't part of the cool crew.

Like I was- Yeah. That wasn't, you know, that wasn't me. Yeah. It was never like going to a party or. Yeah, me too. It's so funny. or anything like that, right? So and then the way I kind of got around was being like a class clown, you know, just do stuff for acceptance, right? So then I just kind of really made a big fool of myself.

I got arrested to when I was 16, a couple, you know, buddies. I just wanted to fit in with the boys and a couple buddies like, you know, go into this garage and help ourselves to some golf clubs. And, you know, we got caught for that. And then I got caught for a few other things, you know, along the journey. But, yeah, it was interesting. And then I went to rehab when I was 17 for 12 months. My parents.

What was that like? I mean, obviously you don't want to be there, right? Yeah. So how it all played out is I was at a control. I was on probation for the other charges. And I was out of control, skipping school. They were going to violate my probation and maybe send me to jail. I was skipping school.

I also had ADHD. I was taking Adderall. I stopped taking the Adderall. My life got really unmanageable, really fast. But I didn't like the way the Adderall made me feel because I was then I couldn't have conversations with people. I was just like not able to do that, right? So I was dating this girl at the time,

and it was a really codependent, toxic relationship, to say the least. And thanks for it going to go in well, so I had mentioned that I was going to kill myself. And once I said that, this was my second time doing that. And I was so depressed and like just alone. So the police took me to the UNC hospital there. So I went to the adolescent psych unit. And my parents knew something had to change.

So they had some people come in. They were like, hey, we have a three-month program. They did interviews. We can bring you to this three-month program. And you can get some help with, you know, mental health and therapy and all that stuff. And I just- Is this in the States or Canada? Yeah, this is all the States.

All in the States, got it. Yeah. So they were like, yeah, we can get you some help. And I just refused it. I just wanted to go back to my life in high school, right? Like, you only lived Friday. You're not worried about the rest of your life. At least I wasn't.

I couldn't put the pieces together. So then what they did, I woke up one morning and this guy was kicking on my bed. And it was in the psych ward. So it's all metal bed. You have your thing there. And it was this guy. He might have been about 240, 250, big guy. And then this woman, too, big woman.

And I said, oh, this is not, they don't work here. You know, this is something's going on. And this was a transport company, private transport company. My parents had hired to bring me to this rehab in Knoxville, Tennessee. when I got to the rehab. It's a lockdown unit. So you live in a basement on a bed, chicken wire on the windows, and your parents kind of forcefully sign you over.

You're not allowed to leave. Yeah. And I actually, I did a podcast about it, but I actually heard something there that completely changed my life. And you were supposed to follow the rules. Once you followed the rules, you could go live in the cabin program. That'd be outdoors. You live with about six, eight guys.

And you start doing some real stuff, go to school, vocational, exercise, cool stuff. but the basement was tough. And I'd been down there two months. They want to try to get you out, you know, one month, two months. But I was down there two months and I was not doing what I was supposed to do. And the counselors never really got personal with you.

It was very, like you called them Mr. Their last name. They had buzzers around their neck. If they wanted to do a restraint, they pressed a buzzard sound off this horn all over the campus. Restrain somebody not following the rules. It was intense. But he told me, Brad, he said,

look, I know you're not going to follow the rules. I know you don't want to be here. I get all that. But the reality is you're not going anywhere. You're going to be here. So what I need you to do is I need you to fake it until you make it. And I didn't get what he was saying at first. A couple days later, it clicked.

I did everything I was supposed to do, whether I wanted to or not. I said, yes, yes, sir, everything. I was out in the cabin program. And it was one of the best experiences that I ever had. But I didn't get straight after that either, you know? Yep. Yep. So, yeah, that was that story.

What's it like for you now, though, in sobriety? I mean, you're on, you're, you're, I was looking at the list of, uh, the movies. I'm thinking like, I mean, is there a Disney movie out there that, that you haven't done? You know, it's funny. I was talking to someone today and it sounds corny, but I think you'll get it. You know, my sobriety is my euphoria. Um, it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel good about the people I love and care about, seeing my children thrive,

knowing it never would have happened if I stayed in that world. And I very easily could have because things were going really well. You know, there was no reason to stop except for whatever happened to me that night in Maui, which I still don't really know what happened. I wish I could, you know, it wasn't a frightening bottom. If anything, I was, you know, at an incredible place, a party. It was just, it was just clear to me. But, you know, I love it.

I love talking about it. I love being able to help people, even though I don't have the answers. And, you know, all I know is it works. It's the only way when you're someone like me. And I just, you know, I'm very, very grateful. I mean, sometimes I complain. about things that aren't important. And once in a while, I'll have a pity party.

But at the end of the day, I know I did it sober. So I can always pull myself up and go, okay, you know, you had your 15 minutes. Now, you know, get on with your life. But I, you know, things are just, you know, I'm in a great place. I think age does that to you when you combine sobriety with it. I think of the years I wasted, but I don't live in that. I just use it as a reminder. And there were years that got me here.

I ended up marrying a woman I just didn't think existed. I got very lucky again. But it was a woman I never could have been able to find or deal with or convinced to be with me back in the day. So things just really fell in place, you know. and I'm in a good, a good spot. I don't struggle, you know. Do I think about it once in a while? Sure.

Do I think about that, you know, five o'clock martini? Sure. But I also know that I will never be the guy who can do it. When I look at my life now, it was such a small sacrifice. And, you know, my family deserves better and I deserve better. I'm lucky and I'm grateful, man, you know. Yeah. I'm with you on that.

You mentioned a lot throughout this, the word luck. I'm not a huge believer of luck. I'm a believer. If you put in the work and you make it, it'll maybe seem like luck. You know, so. That's a good point. Well, you know, my dad used to say, too, we make our own luck. Yes.

And, and, you know, I'm a believer of that. And also, luck is an excuse for people that don't do the work that looks at someone who does it. And then they go, well, he's just lucky. But I know a lot of amazing people that were addicts or alcoholics that weren't able to catch that break. And they had all of the stuff in front of them and all the opportunity I had. And there's no way to explain it, you know, why some do it, why some do it.

why some don't. So as alcoholics and addicts, we're definitely about putting our fucking nose of the grindstone and making it happen. But you know, sometimes when a little luck shines on you, it doesn't hurt. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

And I mean, I think that it's a result of the work you've been putting in, you know, behind the stuff. Sure. Sure. No question. Yeah. No question. Incredible.

I guess I just feel lucky to be alive, you know, to be doing. what I love. I think an important key is do what you love, man. Nothing fuels addiction like selling out, you know, and we sell out for so many reasons in our life. You need that foundation, and that foundation is doing what you love and having a purpose bigger than yourself once you're clean, and remember to put it back. So few people pay it forward. And what's funny is the people I meet in this world that can really pay it forward in a big way rarely do it's always the ones that have very little and they're always putting forward but that's that to me is the key you know empathy

helping those that can use it helped my sobriety greatly because it gave me a you know a bigger purpose you know like you said purpose that was that was huge for you yeah yeah that was everything yeah Yeah, giving back is a huge part of the journey, right? Yeah, it sure is. Awesome. And, you know, when the sobriety works for you and you're in that sweet spot, it's such an amazing revelation that you want people to feel it. You know, you want people to experience it because I was afraid, you know,

because my thing, you know, on my stand-up, I was, you know, it's like I never really had an act. you know, but I was always so loose and so much of my stuff was improv and working the audience and going off the cuff and just, you know, improv was, and I was like, I can't do this sober. I can. And then, man, when I started working sober, I'm like, fuck, I just did this 10 years ago, you know, you know, maybe I'd have a special. So it's like, you know, all the things we think, it's like when I, used to talk to Robin Williams. God Lovin was one of my heroes. I worked on his last series with him, and we would talk about sobriety because we had that. When I worked with him, he just had six years before he passed. You know, we would talk about working drunk and working high, as opposed to working sober. And he was one of the quickest, most brilliant minds in the history of comedy. I mean, when he was on, sober or high, there was nothing like it. And when you saw it live, I mean, I've never seen a stand-up comedian.

And I've, you know, I've been doing this 40 years. I've been around a lot of the big ones, too, because I would always go and see him. And I've never seen anybody get a standing ovation four minutes into their set. it's like it's so hard to comprehend. I mean, he would get one every time he ever hit the stage at the end. You know, I had four people walk out on me last week, and I figured, well, it's kind of a standing ovation. But it's not.

With Robin, they would jump up in the middle of his set. He was that brilliant. My point being, you know, he was like, if I could just share with people, how much better I was when I was. But when you work in improv or something that comes to you naturally, the minute you go sober, you're like, fuck, where am I going to find the looseness? Because that's what the drug wants you to think, right?

It's like when Prior did the thing about the crack pipe talking to him. You know, how can you leave me, man? How can you know? It's so fucking true. The addiction makes you think that nothing can work without it. So my point being, once I was able to let that shit go, the creativity and the stuff that that came my way because I was transparent, I was vulnerable, I was scared, all the things that work wonderfully in art.

If you're an artist out there or a painter or whatever and you're doing great high, don't think you need it to really be at your best because it's a lie. I think that fear is why we stay with it. You know, we get into it, I think out of fear, out of dread, out of loneliness, out of not being enough. And then we're just hooked. We're just fucking hooked. It was like, well, fuck, I can't beat this. I couldn't beat me.

How can I beat this? So. Yeah. It becomes the solution to our problem until it doesn't anymore. I think that, you know, that's the route a lot of people take is that it. it worked really well in the beginning to cover up and to mask all that stuff. Yeah. And it just delivers so much pain to us and everyone around us that.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like we kind of come to that spot where we got to change. And then that's a whole other thing about how are we going to do it, right? And that's a scary thing. Yeah, because you feel like, but I'm with you too. And I want to end on this. This thought is that you mentioned a lot about the universe. That's the way I see things too.

I'm not going to go big thing into it. But yeah, I can relate with that as well. And I feel like that once I had no opportunities come my way in life, nothing. Once I got sober, I couldn't handle the opportunities that started to flow in like one, two, three years. It didn't happen overnight, like bang. And I had opportunities, but it started to flow in. And I feel like that was because the energy I was putting now.

I was giving back to this world instead of taking from it. That's the thing. That's the higher. power that works for me because it's the power of good. It isn't waiting for someone to come back and change the world or someone upstairs to go to heaven. It's exactly what you said. What I love about listening to you talk, I've done a couple of these. You're very matter of fact and you make it very clear of what it is. And it's a, you know, when you talk about doing the work and how it took a few swings for you to get there.

It's just, it's so relatable. And it's so it's, you know, what you're doing is, is just such a gift. And I thank you for the opportunity, but I'm happy for you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on here and spending some time with us. It's an honor. Thank you for having me.

It's the first work I've done in a long time. but thanks for having me. Wow, that was an incredible conversation, an incredible episode. Can't thank Brad Garrett enough for coming on here and sharing his story. I hope you all love this. I hope you're sharing this podcast with your friends. And like I always say to end things off, if you're enjoying the podcast, be sure to leave a review on Apple or Spotify, and I'll see you on the next episode.

All right, for the two of you who made it to the end here, here's my goodbye letter. Beyond saying goodbye to drugs and alcohol, I am also saying goodbye to lost potential. Constant disappointment, the insanity of the mind and body constantly lying, withdraws, risky situations, and so on. When we first crossed past, you were the answer to all my problems in life, and I will never forget the first night we spent together. For once, I felt free, and the personal insecurities, melted away and I felt so alive.

Little did I know where this road would lead. In the beginning, what I thought was a good time was my best attempt at escaping myself. I couldn't wait to get off work to crack a cold one with the boys and hit the town. We had so many good times, but the foundation was being set and I couldn't maintain the monster brewing inside that always wanted more and more and more as time went on. Then drugs entered the picture and the consequences started to pile in.

I couldn't stand what I saw in the mirror and nothing else in life mattered. I lived to escape and escape to live day in and day out. What started as a party was just me in the end. I burned a majority of my relationships in my life with amazing people. And slowly everyone started to leave my life confused about what I had become. It took me some time to catch up with that same realization. What the heck happened? You gave me wings just to take them away

And I fell flat on my face And alone for the most part Due to the wreckage, I didn't know any other way to deal with life Than to continue the escape with drugs and alcohol I will never forget some of the hardest time Staying up all night on the weekends From being sick getting arrested

In the countless, countless close calls Throughout this process, I lost myself It was fun until it wasn't And then it was just heartbreaking And now with this life, I asked myself one question. If today was my last one on earth, would I be proud of what I left behind? Would I be proud of how I treated myself

and how I treated others? How I helped those who didn't even know they were helping me in return. Drugs and alcohol, I thought we had a deal, but you didn't hold up your side of it. So I had to move on. There you go. That's the letter I wrote. I encourage you.

If I hits a note or two for you and you want to put down a letter, write it. Even better than that, I would love to see it. If you want to send me an email or send it over to me on Instagram, I'd love to have a look at your letters. I think it can be really powerful to close the door once and for all on what was. Not to forget about it, but just not to live there anymore. To move on. To say what was was.

and I'm not headed in that direction anymore, nor am I interested in going back to the way things were. Thank you, guys. I'll see you on the next one.