Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Brad Garrett from Everyone Loves Raymond shares his story and battle with alcohol

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

Brad Garrett from (Everyone Loves Raymond) has been sober since 1997. Due to childhood trauma and other things Brad found he could escape himself  with alcohol and marijuana. On a beach in Maui Brad had what he might consider a simple but powerful experience.  From that day forward he put down the booze and drugs for good. Brad’s story is an amazing example of what is truly possible when we decide the get sober. And this is Brad Garretts story on the sober motivation podcast. Download SoberBuddy App Check out United Recovery Project Sober Motivation Merch Store Follow Sober Motivation on Instagram

Welcome back to season two of the Subur Motivation Podcast. Join me, Brad, each week is my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. Brad Garrett has been sober since 1997. Due to childhood trauma and other things, Brad found he could escape himself with alcohol and marijuana. On a beach in Maui, Brad had what he might consider a simple, but powerful experience.

From that day forward, he put down the booze and drugs for good. Brad's story is an amazing example of what is truly possible when we decide to get sober. And this is Brad Garrett's story on the Subur Motivation podcast. The Sober Buddy community is growing, and I would love for you to be a part of it. We continue to host 10 support groups per week with members in the app, and it is amazing to see the progress everyone is making. You don't have to do sobriety alone. Check out the app today and join me for one or all of my three hosted support groups per week.

Head over to Your Soberbuddy.com or search your favorite app store, Your Sober Buddy, and I hope to see you there soon. Getting help for addiction is never an easy thing to do. And picking the right place to get help makes it even more overwhelming. That's why I've decided to partner with the United Recovery Project. I've had a chance to get to know some of the incredible. credible people working at the United Recovery Project over the years. And that is why this partnership makes so much sense.

The United Recovery Project has a top-notch treatment facility and program. I truly believe in Brian Elzate, who is the co-founder and CEO and has 14 years clean. The properties themselves are beautiful with tons of amenities and activities. But most importantly, it's the level of care they offer. It's exactly what you would hope a family would receive in the staff who most of which are in recovery themselves. truly care. It's really apparent that they do their absolute best to create custom treatment plans to meet everyone's individual needs. If your loved one is struggling, reach out to them directly at 833-551-0077 or check them out on the web at U-R-P recovery.com. Now let's get to the show.

Welcome to another episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast. Today we've got Brad Garrett with us. How are you doing? I'm good, Brad. And how are you? I'm well. Well, we're alive, right? We're sober. We're alive.

That's the truth. And I can't thank you enough for coming on here. I know that the listeners are going to love every bit of this. My honor. Where we usually start is what was it like for you growing up? Well, let me see. Growing up, I grew up in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles, was raised by an amazing father who suffered from mental illness, who was bipolar, and an amazing dude who refused to really get help

for his, as far as medication, but he was very much into therapy and in self-improvement, but he was horrible with self-care. I was raised by a mom who pretty much lived in her bed, most of her life. They were divorced when I was seven. My dad went on to get married six times. My mom was married three times. My mom was into pills, heavy duty, which I really didn't understand until I was kind of in my own addiction of like, oh my God, now I get it. My mom was she suffered from massive depression, but she, you know, she did pills on top of it. So growing up, you just kind of think, well, I have a parent that wants nothing to do with me. You know, they hide in bed.

I don't see them often. She married a guy that was my stepfather. Good dude. Zero tools. Zero emotional skills. Zero parenting skills. But somewhat of a provider. And I would just, you know, you know,

you know, wait every weekend to go hang with my dad. My dad was, you know, kind of my better, my healthier place, even though it was kind of turbulent and erratic. His love for me was, was very well defined and strong and unconditional. So we had a little of both growing up. And, you know, when you're raised by addicts or people with mental illness, you become the adult very quickly in a relationship where you should be a kid. And I struggled to save my parents. I struggled to raise my parents. I struggled to make them laugh, to, to, you know, take anything off the light of them being struggling, unfortunately. And they both dealt with their struggles in different ways. I got very lucky because my dad knew early on that I was going to need therapy.

as a kid. I took the divorce very tough. I had two older brothers that had a different dad than I did. And their dad split one day when they were babies and never came back. So they were dealing with that. Both of my brothers never suffered from addiction. They suffered by not unpacking the shit that we all had to unpack, especially to get sober or just to live a healthy life and not to repeat the patterns. You know, as I always say, you can get rid of the alcohol. And as you know, Brad, you could still have the isms. You know, I know guys that are dry drunks, but they're still drunks because they still have the anger and they still have the rage and they still have the shame and they still have all

the stuff that came from the trauma of childhood. And we all have that to varying degrees. So my dad was smart enough just to know in 1969, where it was really unheard of, especially for children that I needed therapy. As much as he loved me, he wanted me to get someone with an outside influence, someone that can be a friend of mine, and help me with what I struggled with at home.

It was a tremendous amount of guilt and fear and stuff that kind of permeated my house when you have a mom that suffers from a mental illness, and addiction. But believe me, much, much better household than many friends of mine and many people I've encountered later in life. But in a nutshell, that's pretty much a lot of humor, a lot of laughing. My dad was incredibly hysterical. Just a great dude that could not let himself breathe, very tough on himself. Is that where you get your comedy side from? I think I get a lot from him, definitely.

My oldest brother, I lost both of my brothers. I lost my oldest brother to cancer about 12 years ago. My middle brother, I lost him to cancer about four years ago. But my oldest brother was incredibly witty and funny. But my dad was kind of a king of humor. And we used a lot in our life. you know, we, we, it's helpful. It's healing, as we all know.

We all go to it. So what was it like for you in high school and stuff? Did you get along with everybody? Did you have your group of people? You know, I was bullied mercilessly in junior high. Had trouble in grammars in great school for sure. I was, you know, really the odd man out, man. I was, you know, 5-11 to 12.

couldn't play ball, had no athletic ability, easily frightened. And once they know that the biggest guy in school can't defend himself, all of the kids that come from homes where they're being beaten, decide, well, here's this nine-foot Jewish guy. We'll rattle him a bit. So there was a lot of that. And that's where I really developed, you know, my humor was, kind of my go-to, obviously.

It was my defense mechanism. I would make fun of myself before they would have a chance to fuck with me. You know, you're right. I am a nerd because da-da-da-da, right? So that was my thing. And that's kind of, you know, self-deprecating humor really doesn't kick in until you're in like high school

where people can really kind of get into it. So high school was easier. I found myself in theater, you know, in choir, even though I'm tone deaf, stuff like that. I found my little niche. But to this day, I've always done better off alone. I'm a bit of a recluse. I'm now just a healthy recluse. I've learned to live with myself, which I obviously couldn't do when I was an alcoholic and an addict.

You know, isolation, which I've always loved. was not good for me when I was battling my addictions. It really is the person who I am. And when I was able to learn to live with myself and be kinder to myself through my sobriety, then it was okay. You know, it was all right to be kind of isolated. And, you know, I'm just a homebody

for whatever reasons I'm comfortable there. I think a lot of it is because I have to be in front of a lot of people all the time for my job. There are people who crave that constantly, as I used to before I got clean. I needed that continued validation. And now it's like, yeah, it's great to feel. It's great to hear.

I love I can do stand-up or I can be involved in a show. I'm very grateful for that. But I'm okay with the quiet. It no longer makes me feel unwanted or unneeded or unimportant. And that was a big step. you know, I had to get to. Yeah. No, it sounds like it for sure.

When did the addiction start for you? Like when did you start drinking in the other stuff? You know, I, it was funny. I never drank in high school, never had a beer, never had a joint. Then when I hit up, when I got out of, I graduated high school. I was at UCLA for six weeks doing stand-up. on open mic nights, why I was trying to study. I was really not college material.

I wanted to be, I think I got into UCLA because of some of the theater and the stand-up. You know, I was doing stand-up literally at 16, and I think that helped me get into the theater department, but I didn't have the academia to really be a college guy. And I started working, doing open mic nights. I started working as a waiter, did a lot of ways. Latering gigs at TGI Fridays and Numero Uno. And then I started smoking weed. Weed became really important to me.

I started drinking heavily, I would say, in the restaurant biz, right around 20, 21. I was hitting it pretty hard. And I was a very high functioning addict, you know, and alcoholic, very high functioning. I think a lot of it is not just because of my son. eyes, I was able to hold a lot. And then the last five years of drinking, you know, is when I started blacking out and really, I have this thing where I fell off of Julio Iglesias's tour bus when I was opening for him. And I thought I was on the first level and I was on the top. And I took a step off the bus right in front of the hotel in New Jersey, landed on my face. And his drummer was a reserve

fireman and was trying to shake me back to life and said, you know, what are you going to get help? And I was like, when you're done shaking me, probably. And of course, I drank five years after that. I stopped in 97, April 12th, you know, life has been amazing. I drank my first year on Raymond. You know, I had worked, spent 20 years on the road as a stand-up doing little acting things here and there. and I finally got a show that became a hit. And, you know, like most alcoholics, I would drink when things were great. I would drink when things are bad.

And I didn't think I'd make it. And I mean, I was straight all day. I worked straight all day. I didn't drink during the day. I would go home. I would memorize my lines. I would have a fifth of vodka, wake up the next morning, and hit it.

Then I'd go on the road. I'd open for different people in Vegas, and I would drink from like 4 p.m. to like 3 a.m. And hold it together and walk out there. And people closest to me had no idea. And I think people closest to me didn't want to have an idea. I think some of my family members were in denial as much as I was because it scared them, because I was kind of the glue that kept the family. together. And even in my worst days, I took care of everybody and honored to have been able to

have done that. But I think they were just scared of, you know, that one cog in the family wheel that was the only one really still involved, you know, was suffering. So was this an everyday thing? What was it like for you throughout that, like that journey of the time when you're, you're doing the drinking? Like, how are you feeling about yourself? Yeah, you know, it was something where, you know, I always had excuses, obviously. We always make it convenient. But a lot, you know, I started working very young. I got lucky in stand up and I had a lot of good luck too, you know.

There were guys a lot funnier than me that should have been doing the stuff I was doing. But I got lucky and I got good enough at the right time to where, you know, some other opportunities were opening up. But as far as on the road, you know, you're working. clubs, you're working casinos. It's all very close. It's all very easy. You go in your dressing room. You got your own bar. And I just tried to really, really time it where, you know, there were times I wouldn't drink before I went on. And then there were times I needed three or four belts before I could go on. And that just continued. And then after the show,

it would continue. And so when, things really started aligning in my life, things that I really wanted to happen, happen, and I was still using and drugging and drinking. Oddly enough, it came down. I always wanted to be a dad my whole life. And I think a lot of it was as turbulent as my childhood was I had a very special relationship with my father. And I wanted to be able to one day duplicate that.

He was an incredible dad, incredible. friend. And I think later in life, and even early for me, I think our friendship as father and son kind of blurred into parenthood. And I was maybe too much of a wingman and a buddy for him as I became older. And that line blurred between friendship and parenthood a little bit. But I always want to be a dad. And I knew there was no way I could put my kids to bed. on a bender and i just knew that that would kill me um i just so i decided uh i was in hawaii was my last drink in maui i was with this chick who was supposedly uh aa and a sponsor yet she was with a blown out drunk. We went to Hawaii together. I had my last bender there. And I knew I was,

I was not going to be alive by the end of the year. There was just no way. The amount I was consuming. And I got home from that trip and I got some help. And my key was therapy. My key was, that was my safe place. You know, whenever I was in therapy, even when I was a kid or an adolescent, and I would keep going back and forth throughout my life. The weirdest thing is the therapist I saw when I was nine years old recently passed about two months ago. And he changed my life. And we kept in touch for literally 52 years.

He was just that beacon I needed of someone outside of my life. That was an incredible child therapist. and therapy was always my thing because even early on I dug in you know I knew there was shit that wasn't feeling right and I dug in and I think as a drunk or an addict the last thing you deal with is the shit you've created after you can deal with your trauma after you can deal with the things that were done to you so much to unpack about how I was living and what I was doing to myself, which was just a continuation of the punishment I felt as a kid. And it's not about blaming mom and it's not about blaming dad.

It's about strapping on a pair and going, how do I want to live my life? How do I want to be an example to people? How do I want to, you know, what do I want to leave? What do I want to learn? And I struggle with shit, you know, to this day. I'm always refining my attitude. gratefulness has been something that's been really important in my life, even when I was struggling and deepest in my shit, you know,

I found a beacon of gratefulness, which I think is what we have to hold on to, you know, because we're such victims, alcoholics, and we love to play the victim, and we love to let everybody know how terrible our life was or what was done to me. But at the end of the day, it's just an excuse. It doesn't mean it's not valid.

It doesn't mean it's not important or hurtful or dreadful, but it's the thing that will kill you for sure. And it's tough for people to unpack it. I'm at a point in my life where I'm seeing so many friends relapsing. I know the pandemic, you know, that's the perfect storm for many people that are struggling, that isolation, the fear of the world, where the world is at right now. It's really scary. And I think something we haven't seen in our lifetimes about, you know, where we could be headed,

where we're not headed. And I see a lot of people struggling. And even though we have all these outside fears, there's still people that never unpacked it. There's still people that never went through that that, that, that, that, that, that, that trauma that they had to deal with. And again, we all have it to varying degrees. But man, you know, every time I run into someone who's working on sobriety and I work on it daily, obviously, but it's funny. We'll talk about something. I go, yeah, that really didn't affect me when I was a kid or when my brother did that to me or when my mom said that, it really,

it really didn't have no weight. And then I'll see him five months later. And they went, fuck oh my god i can't believe you brought that up and i you know and it's only because of my you know 25 years of trial and error you know myself yeah and uh and this shit's in your DNA this shit is in your DNA there's no question you know that it is handed down and you know it's something to be aware of i'm glad you brought that up yeah because i all the interviews i've done and all the people i've met over the years. It's, the story is so common of their parents or their grandparents.

Somebody along the line has definitely struggled with this. Yeah. So that's short. I'm wondering too, though, April 12th, 1997 after your trip in Hawaii. What was, was there something leading up to that that got the wheels turning?

Or was this years in the making? Or was it just on that day you're like, I can't keep living like this. I have other things I want to do and this is in the way? It was all of that. It was all of that. I know this, you know, sounds corny. I, you know, I passed out on the beach.

And there was a real large part of me that was hoping the ocean would take me out. I didn't have the balls to, you know, go out there, thank goodness. But I was really, you know, the booze, the booze had won. I lied on my back in the 90s, and I look up at the sky, and I see this comet that had frozen in the sky. And I was like, well, you know, close to blacking out. I know, I'm sure I've hallucinated. And sure enough, it was the year that they had that comet that could be seen incredibly in Hawaii. And I'm not saying it was really a sign.

you know, I'm not a god-fearing guy. I really don't believe in God, but I believe in the universe. I believe and we have to put our sobriety, yes, to a higher power. Whatever that higher power is, it gives us

comfort, but I'm not like there's a guy in the sky, you know, with a beard who's in charge of everything. And I've really never been about that. But there was something about that moment where I looked up and I see this incredible comet. And, And I just decided to live.

I just decided to, you know, when is enough enough? And it's like, you got to be ready. And it's so overdone. And you hear it all the, you got to want it. You know, no boundary, no tough love, no overlove, no enabling, no nothing can get that person there. And everyone tries. And when it's someone you're close to,

and to see what the loved ones go through and how it destroys their life. You know, I had people close to me where I went to Al-Anon and you just see what it does to families and how heartbreaking it is. But at the end of the day, we all have to come at the same conclusion. We have to choose it. We have to choose it. And there's nothing, you know, like watching a parent or a child watch their you know, mom or dad go through this. And I just, I just chose it. I wish I could say it was some

huge epiphany. I was just exhausted of the dance. I was exhausted of waking up, fearing 5 p.m. And, you know, I was a type of drunk who would always buy a round for the bar to take the focus off my addiction. Well, this guy's a happy drunk and everything's great. And boy, he sure seems to be walking okay and i was never arrested i never had a DUI never in a bar fight how can i have a problem everything's perfect well that's obviously the biggest lie so i think what it was brad is i was just i was just you know ready i think too after a while like for for me too i can relate to that a lot too there wasn't i did have like some rock bottom things with the what was your bottom what was your last bottom.

For me, I would say what I kind of line it up with is I was living on the floor of my brother's apartment. I was living on the floor of his apartment and I was, you know, on on pills, heroin, cocaine, methadone at the time. And I had just sort of this, it's sort of the same, like in a sense. I'm listening to your story, the high school bullying, the feeling, you know, like you're not worthy. I'm hearing all of something like, this is a lot.

I can relate a lot with this because that's how I felt my entire life. Like the world was happening around me. And I was like stuck in a snow globe. But I never found like people I could connect with. And I just always was an outsider. But that morning, it was one morning. I couldn't even tell you that exact date. I didn't get sober that day.

But I could remember that's one of the days when I picked up that 3,000 pound phone. And I called my grandparents who lived up here in Canada. And I asked them for help because I knew I had burned every bridge with my folks, my brother that lived in the U.S. with me at the time. So I reached out to my grandparents. They drove down to North Carolina the next day, picked me up, and I was in detox in South Florida in a couple of days. And I didn't get sober after that,

but after that exact day, but that was really changed my life. Another thing, another bottom I had is I was living up in Canada, and it was getting my life straightened out. I was 100% sober than either, but I went back to visit the, in the U.S. My parents lived there. And when I got off the plane, the police were there.

Local police. I had three warrants out for my arrest for drug trafficking charges. I sold narcotics to an undercover police officer like three years or two years prior. That I had no idea that I did that. And then I ended up spending a year in jail. And then after I did the jail time, I was deported back to Canada and given a lifetime ban to the U.S. but when I got caught, when I got arrested for that, that completely changed my life and was one of the best things that were

happened in my life because for once, I couldn't escape myself anymore. I couldn't run anymore. It wasn't, I couldn't get to the substance anymore. And at one year when I was in jail, it was me versus me. And I had to figure out who I was or figure out who I wanted to be.

And that's kind of what, you know, springboarded me to where I am now, now that you ask. there you go that's that's wow what a story and you're in canada now obviously yeah just live outside of Toronto now where oh I love it there yeah love it there love Canada wow what an incredible miracle that is yeah it was and then how long have you been doing this which the podcast the podcast since October great yeah so great so powerful man I'm so

happy you're okay yeah thank you i really am what a wow what a life yeah it's been a wild ride yeah it's been a wild ride but but you know i mean when i look back to yeah i can relate to the whole thing where you said because a lot of people ask me like what was it you know and i feel like some people are looking for this like i got hit by a bus and everything changed and it's like well that wasn't the story but it was a buildup of many many things like i just couldn't look myself in the mirror for a long like six months before that because I was just so ashamed of what where I was in my life and I had lost everything and I came from really good family who really like you know I went to rehab for 12 months when I was 17 I mean I had every opportunity I've been going been to therapy you know learning centers

and sports and I had every opportunity not to be you know hooked on pain you know pain medication in heroin and yeah I couldn't shake it I couldn't I couldn't shake it I didn't even feel like I deserve like to get off of it, right? Like, why? Why would I? I didn't plan on living past 25. So, you know, that was the tough part. It's amazing how much of it has to do with self-worth and identity and all that. And you can be raised. Were you raised in a loving home and all of that? Yeah, very loving. So, so what, so what happens? You know, that's the, the million dollar question. what happens? I mean, you had, you know, does it come down to hereditary? You know, does it come down to just how we, you know, we all come pre-wired. You know, I have two children who are very different

from the same mom, right? So it's like, you know, what does it come? Like, what have you discovered as far as addiction, as far as how it can happen? Yeah, I mean, I think for me, when I really think about it. I'd think about it was a lack of purpose. I never had really anything in my life to really look forward to or I was never really good at anything. You know, I tried out one of the, horrible stories. And I mean, everything's different looking back, but I tried out for the soccer team in grade six. And I wasn't a good soccer player. But I was the only person not to make the theme. You know, looking back, I'm like, oh, whatever, you know, it's not a big deal. But at the time, it probably was a bigger deal that I wasn't able to process. But like, you know, I don't.

Yeah, I definitely had trauma. My mom had my brother and I were twins when she was 17. Okay. You know, and my grandparents looked after us. When I was like six or seven, we moved down to the U.S., and then she was like a full-time single mom. We moved to Texas. She's a nurse, so she got a job down there nursing.

You know, so she was a, you know, full-time single mom. So I'm sure that there's dynamics there that, you know, probably lead up to things. But, yeah, I mean, I just felt like I was just, out of place. Like I was so uncomfortable in my own skin and you'll hear that a lot too. Yeah, me too. Me too. How about your pop? Was your dad around or? My dad is up here in Canada. So my mom married my stepfather. I don't know exactly when, but that was probably a couple years after Texas and then we we moved to North Carolina and then, you know, the first- Is your dad stay involved? Yeah, yeah. My dad lives here yet. Right. Great. Yeah. But the first time I got into doing

drugs. The first drug I ever did was cocaine, but I was the just like, that was your first drug? First drug, yeah. But when I was in, weed and everything. Yeah. When I was in high school, I never drank or or smoked pot or anything. None of that. I wasn't part of the cool crew. Like I was. Yeah. That wasn't, you know, that wasn't me. Yeah. That was never like going to a party or. Yeah, me too. It's so funny or anything like that. Right. So. And then the way I kind of got around was being like, a class clown, you know, just do stuff for acceptance, right? So then I just kind of really made a big fool myself. I got arrested to when I was 16, a couple, you know, buddies. I just wanted to fit in

with the boys and a couple of buddies, like, you know, go into this garage and help ourselves to some golf clubs. And, you know, we got caught for that. And then I got caught for a few other things, you know, along the journey. But yeah, it was interesting. Then I went to rehab when I was 17 for 12 months. My parents. What was that like? I mean, obviously you don't want to be there, right? Yeah. So my parent, how it all played out is I was at a control. I had, I was on probation for the, for the other charges. And I was out of control, skipping school, they were going to violate my probation and maybe send me to jail. I was skipping school. I also had ADHD. I was taking Adderall. I stopped taking the Adderall. My life got really unmanageable, really fast.

But I didn't like the way the Adderall made me feel because then I didn't, I couldn't have conversations with people. I was just like not able to do that, right? So I was dating this girl at the time and it was a really codependent, toxic relationship to say the least. And thanks for it going to well. So I had mentioned that I was going to kill myself. And once I said that, this was my second time doing that. And I was so depressed and like just alone. So the police took me to the UNC hospital there. So I went to the adolescent psych unit. And my parents knew something had to change. So they had some people come in. They were like, hey, we have a three-month program.

They did interviews. We can bring you to this three-month program. And you can get some help with, you know, mental health and therapy and all that stuff. And I just- This is in the States or Canada? Yeah, this is all the States. All in the States, got it. Yeah.

So they were like, yeah, we can get you some help. And I just refused it. I just wanted to go back to my life and high school, right? Like, you only lived Friday. You know, you're not worried about the rest of your life. least I was and I couldn't put the pieces together. So then what they did, I woke up one morning and this guy was kicking on my bed. And it was in the psych words. That's all metal bed. You have your thing there. And it was this guy. He might have been about 240, 250, big guy. And then this woman, too,

big woman. And I said, oh, this is not, they don't work here. You know, this is something's going on. And this was a transport company, private transport company. My parents had hired to bring me to this rehab in Knoxville, Tennessee. When I got to the rehab, it's a lockdown unit. So you live in a basement on a bed, chicken wire on the windows and your parents kind of forcefully sign you over. You're not allowed to leave. And I actually, I did a podcast about it, but I actually heard something there that completely changed my life. And you were supposed to follow the rules. Once you followed the rules, you could go live in the cabin program. That'd be outdoors. You live with about six, eight guys. and you start doing some real stuff, go to school, vocational, exercise, cool stuff,

but the basement was tough. And I'd been down there two months. They want to try to get you out, you know, one month, two months. But I was down there two months and I was not doing what I was supposed to do. And the counselors never really got personal with you. It was very, like you called them mister their last name. They had buzzers around their neck. If they wanted to do a restraint, they pressed a buzzard sound off this horn all over the

campus restrained somebody not following the rules it was intense but he told he told me brad he said look i know you're not going to follow the rules i know you don't want to be here i get all that but the reality is you're not going anywhere you're going to you're going to be here so what i need you to do is i need you to fake it till you make it and i didn't get what he was saying at first a couple days later it clicked i did everything i was supposed to do whether i wanted to or not i said yes yes sir everything i was out in the cabin program and it was one of the the best experiences that I ever had. But I didn't get straight after that either.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that was that story. What's it like for you now, though, in sobriety? I mean, you're on, you're, you're, I was looking at the list of, uh, the movies. I'm thinking like, I mean, is there a Disney movie out there that, that you haven't done? You know, it's funny.

I was talking to someone today and it sounds corny, but I think you'll get it. You know, my sobriety is my euphoria. It makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel good about the people I love and care about, seeing my children thrive, knowing it never would have happened if I stayed in that world. And I very easily could have because things were going really well. You know, there was no reason to stop except for whatever happened to me that night in Maui, which I still don't really know.

know what happened. I wish I could, you know, it wasn't a frightening bottom. If anything, I was, you know, at an incredible place, a party. It was just, it was just clear to me. But, you know, I love it. I love talking about it. I love being able to help people, even though I don't have the answers. And, you know, all I know is it works. It's the only way when you're someone like me. and I just, you know, I'm very, very grateful. I mean, sometimes I complain about things that aren't important, and once in a while I'll have a pity party, but at the end of the day, I know I did it sober,

so I can always pull myself up and go, okay, you know, you had your 15 minutes, now, you know, get on with your life. But I, you know, things are just, you know, I'm in a great place. I think age does that to you when you combine sobriety with it. I think of the years I wasted, but I don't live in that. I just use it as a reminder. And there were years that got me here. I ended up marrying a woman I just didn't think existed.

I got very lucky again. But it was a woman I never could have been able to find or deal with or convincing. to be with me back in the day. So things just really fell in place, you know, and I'm in a good spot. I don't struggle, you know. Do I think about it once in a while? Sure.

Do I think about that, you know, five o'clock martini? Sure. But I also know that I will never be the guy who can do it. When I look at my life now, it was such a small sacrifice. And, you know, my family deserves better. and I deserve better. I'm lucky and I'm grateful, man. You know.

Yeah, I'm with you on that. You mentioned a lot throughout this, the word luck. I'm not a huge believer of luck. I'm a believer. If you put in the work and you make it, it'll maybe seem like luck. You know, so. That's a good point. Well, you know, my dad used to say, too, we make our own luck.

Yes. And, you know, I'm a believer of that. And also luck is an excuse for people that don't do the work that looks at someone who does it. And then they go, well, he's just lucky. But I know a lot of amazing people that were addicts or alcoholics that weren't able to catch that break. And they had all of the stuff in front of them and all the opportunities. I had. And there's no way to explain it, you know, why some do it, why some don't.

So as alcoholics and addicts, we're definitely about putting our fucking nose of the grindstone and making it happen. But, you know, sometimes when a little luck shines on you, it doesn't hurt. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And I mean, I think that it's a result of the work you've been putting in, you know, behind the stuff. Sure.

Sure. No question. Yeah. No question. Incredible. I guess I just feel lucky to be alive, you know, to be doing what I love. I think an important key is do what you love, man. Nothing fuels addiction like selling out, you know, and we sell out for so many reasons in our life.

You need that foundation. And that foundation is doing what you love and having a purpose bigger than yourself once you're clean. and remember to put it back. So few people pay it forward. And what's funny is the people I meet in this world that can really pay it forward in a big way rarely do. It's always the ones that have very little and they're always putting forward.

But that to me is the key. You know, empathy, helping those that can use it, help my sobriety greatly because it gave me a bigger purpose. you know like you said purpose that was that was huge for you yeah yeah that was everything yeah yeah giving back is a huge part of the journey right yeah it sure is awesome and you know when when the sobriety works for you and you're in that sweet spot it's such an amazing revelation that you want people to feel it. You know, you want people to experience it because I was afraid, you know,

because my thing, you know, on my stand-up, I was, you know, it's like I never really had an act, you know, but I was always so loose and so much of my stuff was improv and working the audience and going off the cuff and just, you know, improv was, and I was like, I can't do this sober. I can. And then, man, when I started working sober, I'm like, fuck, I just did this 10 years ago, you know, maybe I'd have a special. So it's like, you know, all the things we think. It's like when I used to talk to Robin Williams, Godloven was one of my heroes. I worked on his last series with him. And we would talk about sobriety because we had that. When I worked with him, he just had six years before he passed. you know, we would talk about working drunk and working high as opposed to working sober. And he was one of the quickest, most brilliant minds in the history of comedy. I mean, when he was on, sober or high, there was nothing like it. And when you saw it live, I mean, I've never seen a stand-up comedian.

And I've, you know, I've been doing this 40 years. I've been around a lot of the big ones, too, because I would always go and see. him and I've never seen anybody get a standing ovation four minutes into their set. It's like it's so hard to comprehend. I mean, he would get one every time he ever hit the stage at the end. You know, I had four people walk out on me last week and I figured, well, it's kind of a standing ovation. But it's not. With Robin, they would jump up in the middle of his set.

He was that brilliant. My point being, you know, he was like, if I could just share with people, how much better I was when I was. But when you work in improv or something that comes to you naturally, the minute you go sober, you're like, fuck, where am I going to find the looseness? Because that's what the drug wants you to think, right? It's like when Pryor did the thing about the crack pipe talking to him.

You know, how can you leave me, man? How can you? It's so fucking true. the addiction makes you think that nothing can work without it. So my point being, once I was able to let that shit go, the creativity and the stuff that came my way because I was transparent, I was vulnerable, I was scared, all the things that work wonderfully in art. If you're an artist out there or a painter or whatever,

and you're doing great high, don't think. you need it to really be at your best because it's a lie. And I think that fear is why we stay with it. You know, we get into it, I think, out of fear, out of dread, out of loneliness, out of not being enough. And then we're just hooked. We're just fucking hooked. It was like, well, fuck, I can't beat this. I couldn't beat me.

How can I beat this? So. Yeah, it becomes the becomes the solution to our problem until it doesn't anymore. I think that that's the route a lot of people take is that it worked really well in the beginning to cover up and to mask all that stuff. Yeah. And it just delivers so much pain to us and everyone around us that. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like we kind of come to that spot where we got to change. And then that's a whole other thing about how are we going to do it, right? And that's a scary thing. Yeah, because you feel like. But I'm with you too, and I want to end on this. This thought is that you mentioned a lot about the universe. That's the way I see things too. I'm not going to go big thing into it.

But yeah, I can relate with that as well. And I feel like that once I had no opportunities come my way in life. Nothing. Once I got sober, I couldn't handle the opportunities that started to flow in like one, two, three years. It didn't happen overnight. Like bang and I had opportunities. Sure.

Started to flow in. And I feel like that was because the energy I was put. now. I was giving back to this world instead of taking from it. That's the thing. That's the higher power that works for me because it's the power of good. It isn't waiting for someone to come back and change the world or someone upstairs to go to heaven. It's exactly what you said. What I love about listening to you talk, I've done a couple of these.

You're very matter of fact and you make it very clear of what it is. And, and it's a, you know, when you talk about doing the work and how it took a few swings for you to get there, it's just, it's so relatable. And it's so it's, you know, what you're doing is, is just such a gift. And I thank you for the opportunity. But I'm happy for you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on here and spending some time with us. It's an honor. Thank you for having me. It's the first work I've done in a long time. But thanks for having me.

Wow, that was an incredible conversation, an incredible episode. Can't thank Brad Garrett enough for coming on here and sharing his story. I hope you all love this. I hope you're sharing this podcast with your friends. And like I always say to end things off, if you're enjoying the podcast, be sure to leave a review. on Apple or Spotify, and I'll see you on the next episode.