Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Brandon Saho struggled with mental health for years and his addiction to alcohol was not helping.

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

Brandon Saho started drinking alcohol as a teenager and things picked up in college. For Brandon, it was all about the buzz that he experienced when drinking. Alcohol became a massive part of Brandon's life and he struggled with his mental health for years. Getting help saved his life. Brandon was approaching 100 days sober at the time of the podcast and this is his story on the sober motivation podcast. ------------ Follow Brandon on Instagram Follow Sober Motivation on Instagram Check out the SoberBuddy App More Information on SoberLink

Welcome back to season two of the Subur Motivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week is my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. Brandon started drinking alcohol as a teenager and things picked up in college. For Brandon, it was all about the buzz that he experienced when drinking. Alcohol became a massive part of Brandon's life and he was struggling with his mental health for years. Getting help for his mental health saved his life.

Brandon was approaching 100 days sober at the time of this podcast recording, and this is his story on the Sober Motivation podcast. Hey, how's it going, everyone? Brad here. I just want to give a heads up that Brandon does discuss his mental health, his thoughts of suicide in this episode, The Sober Buddy app. This community is one of the most supportive I've ever seen.

Starting with the meeting hosts who lead with support, kindness, and understanding, when someone falls, the community rallies to help support and encourage. People from all different countries who show up as strangers leave as friends. It is a true example of community and connection. What makes sober buddies special is everyone is working on the same mission to get another day sober so we can live our best lives and to provide a safe place so no one feels they have to do it alone. Check out the app today or head over to your soberbuddy.com and come and join us for some of our live support groups. It's hard to find the motivation to get sober when you're in the

trenches of addiction. It's easy to say I'll stop tomorrow or I'll cut back tonight. What's harder is putting action behind those words. That's why I've teamed up with Soberlink. Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system was specifically designed to help in your recovery, not just some breathalyzer you buy at the store. Small enough to fit in your pocket and discreet enough to use in public. Soberlink devices combine facial recognition, tamper detection, and real-time results so friends and family know instantly that you're sober and working towards your recovery goals. Visit soberlink.com slash recover to sign up and receive $50 off your device.

Are you a loved one struggling with alcoholism or substance use disorder? Palm Beach Recovery Centers can help. They're inpatient medical detox and resident. residential facility provides personalized treatment to help you get back on track. Their experienced staff is here to support you every step of the way. For more information, visit their website, palm beach recovery centers.com. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Brandon with us.

How are you doing, buddy? I'm good. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited. Yeah, same here. I'm ready to dive in and hear your story. What was it like for you growing up? So I grew up in Cincinnati, born and raised, very proud of this city, the sports teams,

even though we haven't always been good. But yeah, no, I grew up as a big sports fan in Cincinnati, always knew I wanted to be a sports reporter. Dream Job was hosting a Tonight Show. That was the goal growing up or to go to ESPN and be on Sports Center. And so I'd always chase that. Like I played sports, had a lot of friends. Parents got divorced when I was like 12.

So I think that probably, you know, that was a big event for me early on. And then the mental health stuff for me really started to come up when I was 14. And I started dealing with that feeling of being alone and not having anyone. And so I was a pretty happy kid growing up. Like I loved life. And then eventually things just got to me, obviously talking about alcohol. Like I just remember the first time I had a drink. I think I was 13, maybe 12 years old.

So like definitely had a big impact in my life. And it's cool now to be sober for a short amount of time. and just see the different side of life, which has been really, really cool for me. Yeah, that's awesome. So you had the dreams to be on ESPN and a sports broadcaster. That's cool. Yeah, and I didn't make it to ESPN, but I got to work out a few different places, ABC and Louisiana covering LSU and the Saints.

And then got to come back home to Cincinnati in 2018 and work for NBC here covering the Bengals and the Reds and the college teams. And it was such a dream come true job for me. me and it's so crazy to just remember me as a kid pretending to be like broadcasting a game on a camcorder at home or like when I was an eighth grade I took a little TV that had a built in VCR and for those that are too young listening to VCR is what we had before like Bluetooth and iPads and all this stuff but anyway took the TV with VCR built in camera camcorder to an eighth grade football game and that's where I did my first broadcast so I knew from a young time in my

life. I wanted to be a sports broadcaster. That's awesome. So you were getting started early. What was it like for you, though? Because you mentioned at 1213. I mean, that you started drinking. I mean, some people might say, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's fairly young. Other people are going to be on the different side of things. But like, how does alcohol become available to you around that age? I think, you know, my family and friends just growing up, like their families, we just had a lot of partiers or drinkers. It's very accepted socially. And for me, it just started out. like hanging out with my older cousins or my friends and like garage hopping and stealing beers out of people's garage, which I don't recommend. Or like, you know, taking it from

your parents, things like that. And it just kind of started as like that curiousness because alcohol is such a big, big part of social society. So when you're younger, you want to drink, you want to smoke, you want to try different things. So for me, I think my first ever drink was on like a family vacation with some family friends when I was 12 or 13 around that time frame. You know, I hated the taste of beer. I hated this, but eventually you like that little bit of buzz that you can get. And you really don't start, or at least I didn't start kind of getting into drinking to get drunk until I was probably 16 or 17, which back then is probably like three or four beers and a couple games of beer pong or something like that. But yeah, it was just there, I think because of the environment of just alcohol being such a big part of family parties or sporting events or vacations where it was super easy to like.

get alcohol. Now, did my parents want me drinking at that age? No, but by the time I got to like 16, 17, 18, I think my dad had been in that same spot. You know, he was a pretty big drinker. My mom wasn't that big of a partier, but her dad and her husband at the time were. So like, you know, that's just kind of a society thing to start drinking maybe around like end of high school, early college. I was probably a early bloomer at that. But yeah, that's kind of just where it all started. Yeah. No, I mean, it's interesting there because that's sort of what we do is we like experiment with stuff when we're a teenager. It always does interest me, though,

how some of us maybe go on to have more of a problem with it than other people, right? Like, what was it doing for you early on? Was there anything here beyond just like, hey, I'm just hanging out, like, having a couple drinks? No, I don't think it was like a problem early on. I think it was just a social thing with, like, the high school friends trying to figure out what the hell alcohol was and what beer was good and what tasted good, things like that. And how it made you feel could you get drunk?

And it didn't really become a problem probably until college where, you know, the first time I thought about suicide, I was 14. And then it didn't happen often. I didn't drink super often until I had got, you know, maybe senior year or high school, then to college. And then that's when it started to creep in. Not like, I wasn't an unhappy person, but it would hit every couple weeks or every month or so. But the drinking, like, it's a depressant. It obviously doesn't help. So I think I just learned at a young aide that try to use it to like get fucked up and cover up the emotions or you know, this is what everyone else is doing.

We're going out and we're taking shots to the bar or trying to go to this club, things like that. And it just became a big part of my life by the time I was 18, I think. I mean, it's just crazy to look back like that. Yeah. I mean, I can relate to you too. Like with my story too, it wasn't always a bad thing. Like I had a really good purpose with alcohol did in my life when I was going to college parties. when I was kind of connect with other people

and like that's what people were doing. I couldn't imagine being like 18, 19 and not doing it. I don't know what I would have been doing. You know, but then it was like, I mean, I definitely took the train all the way to the end of the road. You know, I don't think everybody obviously does that, but it wasn't always bad. Right. No, I agree with you.

It was like fun to go to the college football games and get drunk with your friends and go out and get late night food or pull pranks on each other, things like that. And you felt like you were supposed to, That's part of college life and the experience and everyone else is doing it. And it wasn't always bad for me. It would just, I'd have flare ups where I'd be like, wow, I got really drunk because of me being upset about being single or not getting invited to this party or things like that.

But the older I got and the more, you know, the party scene of drinking once you get out of college and you're a young professional, like it just changed where subconsciously looking back, I was like drinking to get fucked up. And I think that's always been a part of the problem for me with drinking is like, I'm not the type of person that can just have, you know, one or two beers. Like I can every once in a while maybe, but like people say they have a drink at the house or they have a glass of wine with dinner. If I'm having a beer at dinner, you got to understand I'm also having like 7, 8, 9

throughout the night just on the couch by myself watching a baseball game or watching a movie on Netflix because I think I'm addicted to that buzz. I'm not even addicted to like beer or alcohol. It's the buzz and that feeling of being fucked up just to kind of escape everything. I think I'm addicted to that. And that's just the scary thing is you just see yourself going down that path. And finally like three months ago, I just said, all right, fuck it. Like I can't do this stuff anymore because it's affecting my life, the dreams I have and what I want to do with myself.

Yeah, no, great way to put it. I'm wondering too there when you mentioned about sometimes you can have one or two. How did you feel, though, when you were able to have one or two? because a lot of people like described just being pissed off like not being content with just having one or two like were you able to just do one or two and like yeah that's cool not even think about it yeah i think it was just certain places i could like if i was out to dinner i'd be okay with it or like i go boating a lot and so like if i was just early afternoon having a couple beers while we're boating going back and then that's it but the problem is that there's always something after that like i was out to a bar after

or to a party or a club or to a game. And so like those one or two's 99% of the time, those one or two drinks never stayed at one or two drinks for the day. Unless I was super hung over and then I just couldn't get through more than one or two. Yeah, so there was always another plan. Something planned for more, something next, right? You had to be ready to go for. So after college, how did things look like for you?

Did you start right into broadcasting or these jobs after college? Yeah. So what you do is you have to move away to, like small towns and get your start at small TV or radio stations. And so I did that. I moved to small town, Georgia, and everything was closed by eight. There's nothing to do on the weekends. I had a shift where I worked the morning show. So I was working like 2.30 a.m. to 1130 a.m. And so you can't have like a social life really. You're getting paid shit money because it's your first job out of college. And you don't have any friends or family around you. So that's really when, like, I had had those

alone feelings, like when I was in college and had some suicidal thoughts throughout college, but that's when it finally started because really ramping up in the young professional life was just, I don't want to sit at home because I don't want to be by myself, but then I take myself out to dinner or to go watch a game at a bar and I'm still by myself. And so all you have is alcohol. And I think looking back, I mean, I did that for, I would have been 2015 until now. So, 23, like eight, nine years of just the same thing going out to dinner by yourself or going to get drunk by yourself because you didn't want to sit at home in these other cities. And even if you're with people, they might not have been like people you really knew or

really good friends with. So like, I think he mentioned it, like alcohol is a part of bringing people together too where it's just a social thing. So yeah, it all started just with. with that alone feeling of bouncing around through different cities and working in these small towns or smaller TV markets before I really got to covering LSU and then coming back to Cincinnati where I got to like kind of live that bigger city life again. Wow, yeah, so you're kind of put out there

and then you're looking for a way to, you know, make all this work. You mentioned too about the thoughts of suicide and stuff. How is your mental health through all this? You touched on it a little bit, but is there more to the story than that? Yeah, and in my mental health, you know, I feel like it was pretty bad, throughout a majority of my life and it took me a long time to address that i think i recognized it but instead of going to therapy or doing anything about it i just got more fucked up and kept drinking and yeah because i'd always been a person i think the main root of it is just that alone feeling i'd always

been a person that wanted to be married by 25 and have kids and have this perfect relationship and i dated in high school and in college and obviously the last few years but i've never really had the one that worth. And so that was the thing that it always brought me down and got me all, you know, depressed and suicidal. I mean, the thing that happened a year ago and I checked myself, I thought I had finally had that perfect relationship and met my best friend and we had been together for a while. We talked about marriage and kids and I thought like this was it. And then once that crashed and burned, so did I. And so learning to be happy with yourself and not using alcohol to cover up those feelings, that's definitely been something

that I've had to learn and grow with. But yeah, no, I've thought about suicide since I was 14. It would come up like every few months. And then once in college, maybe every month or so when I was drunk. And then it turned into like young professional life. Like I said, being alone in cities or not around your family and friends and work in these late nights, weird hours, no socialized. Or like so most of you, if you're at home listening and you watch the news, you got to think the news is over at 1130 or midnight. So that's when I'm getting off work.

And so then to catch up with people, I would go out and like rip shots right away and get fucked up. Or like, I worked every single weekend. I didn't have two weekends off since college in a row until I checked myself into a mental health hospital in Cincinnati. That was the first time in almost 10 years that I had back-to-back weekends off. And like, I know there's people that probably work weekends and work shitty jobs or they work jobs. They wish they could have a better schedule with. But like, it just takes a toll on your mental health when you can't go enjoy things that. your family and friends are doing it. I've never been on a bachelor party. I went to my first out-of-town

wedding last year. Like, I got to enjoy games as a fan this year, which was so cool. Now, keep in perspective, getting to be a sports supporter, like has some really, really cool perks. Like, when the Bengals went to the Super Bowl two seasons ago, the AFC Championship in Kansas City, I'm interviewing the Bengals stars on the field after the game. And it's one of the coolest moments of my career. But on the flip side of that, as soon as I got off air, I'm sitting there arguing, with my ex over the phone or over text and I'm going through the most horrifying, toxic relationship breakup ever

that's completely destroying me personally but I have to put on that face of professionally the Bengals are going to the Super Bowl and it's like the best thing for me work-wise but yeah inside like the mental health shit I've always dealt with it and once I knew I got to like when I was sober and I couldn't control the thoughts of suicide

and I wrote a goodbye letter sober and took pill sober I was like all right I'm gonna die if I don't check myself and that's what I told my parents. So what did that look like? So that was a year ago that you went to the program? Yeah, so I was a sports reporter here in Cincinnati for almost five years. To backtrack, it took me until 2020 when COVID shut down the world to finally check into therapy.

So I'm not great at math, but if that's 12, 13, 14 years for me to me, somebody that's not about suicide for 15 years to take that long to just go to therapy, then like a lot of people are afraid or scared to go do that. So that was the first step was going to therapy and it kind of helped me through the world shutting down and my job changing and there being no sports and not being able to go out and have alcohol with other people and like party and things like that. But then got better, met the girl I was dating and relationship was great, work was great. And then it wasn't. And it just like all came crashing down. It was like a three month time period when I lost three family members, including my cousin Ben, who was like a brother to me and then her and I broke up and we're going through like the most toxic breakup arguing both of us were responsible for it like a relationship's two people but it just destroyed me emotionally all that together like at the same time while it's the most pressured point of my career as a sports reporter it just broke and so yeah I spent about three months during that time period like

not working out sleeping until one two or not getting out been until one and two until I had to go to the studio and do the show or go to Bengals practice or go to a game. And it was like I was drinking, drinking, drinking even more. I'd always been a big drinker, but I saw like the problems with it. Like there was multiple times where I had to call people to come get me. In Cincinnati, there's a big bridge over the Ohio River and I lived on the other side in Kentucky. And I would go to the bar district in downtown Cincinnati four or five nights a week. And I'd be walking home, blacked out, drunk, like thinking about jumping off the bridge and standing there and like, looking at it or driving my car to traffic or laying down in traffic like my other cousin Zach

had to come pick me up one time because I was laying down in the street outside of the casino drunk just like picturing a car hitting me and I called him like dude you got to come pick me up or I'm going to kill myself and the same thing happened with my ex the final night it was like St. Patrick's Day last year we were out watching March Madness and I was really drunk and her and I had just gone through like the big big big portion of the breakup and the fighting and I just told her I said, hey, I'm calling you to tell you goodbye. I'm going to jump off the bridge now. And I give her all the credit in the world no matter the relationship didn't work out

and things didn't work between us. She called my family and made sure that they came and got me. And she stayed on the phone with me. And I'll always be grateful to her for that because I don't know if I'm standing here and talking or doing this podcast with you. It wasn't for her making that call. So that would have been in March, I guess, then of last year. but that wasn't like the last time I had thought about suicide.

Like I wrote a goodbye letter sober one day and took a bunch of pills that I had at the house and literally prayed not to wake up. And when I woke up, I was like, all right, now I fucked up enough where like I'm okay sober, like not being here. I have to go get help. And so that's when I called my therapist

right after the thing had happened a few days earlier with me wanting to jump off the bridge and I had a terrible night emotionally with my family just kind of telling them everything. And they had known I'd gone through some mental health. stuff but like this was just a different level of it and they knew the breakup was taking a toll on me and work and the losses in my family so we were just scrambling to get me in there and once i did like i check you in i hated it like it was the worst worst day of my life but it was also the best day

of my life because it was like thank god i had the recognition to like check myself in or i wouldn't be here like i literally told my family i'm going to kill myself if i don't go somewhere and get help yeah lots of unpacked there brandon yeah Sorry, I'm a long-winded guy. No, that's great. I mean, that's great. I'm wondering, too, to back up a little bit because you said, you know, you had the first time you were thinking about suicide when you were 14. What do you feel were the barriers for you personally were waiting to get help, like until you were older?

I don't know. I think part of it early on was like, all right, this is just like not that big of a deal or you're taught to kind of just, especially as a man, like, just go through shit and like put your head down, rub dirt on it, go, go, go. So I think that was part of it early on. And then I just drink a lot. I thought that was fine to cover it up with. I would always be pretty open about my feelings with, like, family and friends. So they knew about some of the stuff, but not all of it when it came to like the suicide thoughts. I don't know why I didn't go to therapy sooner.

You know, when my parents split up, I think we went to a therapist once as a family, and I absolutely hated it. I remember running out of it when I was like 10 years old or some shit like that. And so I think subconsciously that might have had a role on it, but I also just thought I was strong enough to get through the stuff on my own. And that's just such a naive way to think. I'm so happy that I finally decided to go to therapy because it helps you because it's just an unbiased person giving you advice and breaking down.

All right, like, no relationship's perfect. You're not going to meet the perfect person. Why don't you sacrifice this, sacrifice that? Or like, hey, have this work life balance. Like, I know you work these crazy hours and are on the road or at games, but like you have to take time to go work out or to go do something that you like and get away from the job. So yeah, I have no idea.

why it took so long. I think it was just me thinking I could handle it on my own, which is impossible for anyone. Yeah. No, I like the way you put that too, right? You've got to just man up, right? Man up and figure it out. Yeah. I never understood like the stigma that's around men's mental health of like having to be strong on your own and man up or not ask for help, rub dirt on it until I was in this mental health hospital, the Linder Center of Hope in Cincinnati. And the instructor was like, well, why don't you want to open up? This first two days, I hated it. It was the worst two days ever.

I remember when I checked in, I collapsed on the floor and realized, like, I was in a mental hospital. And like, I just, I lost it emotionally because I was like, all right, this is where I'm at in life. But the second or third day, they're trying to give me to open up still and I'm not. And you're kind of in these like 15, 20 people.

Classes with outside of the therapy sessions and seeing psychiatrists and other people at the hospital. But they're like, well, why aren't you opening up? And I'm like, well, like, I've always been super emotional. I've just been kind of a bitch my whole life. And the therapist was like, that's the problem right there. I'm like, what are you talking about? And she goes, that's the problem.

You just said you're a bitch. And that's like the stigma around men's mental health is that they can't open up about their emotions or talk about things or get help. And I didn't even realize that because I've been kind of a bitch my entire life or been emotional, been weaker. So that was eye opening for me to be able to kind of get that comfortability to open up and realize that that is a widespread problem of men not wanting to talk about their problems because you have this stigma around opening up.

or being emotional as a man and also getting help or going to therapy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I see it all the time, man. Yeah, it's so true. That's a barrier to getting help, right? Yeah, and it shouldn't be. And I think since 2020, when everyone went through shit with the COVID-19 lockdown,

that, like, people have spoken up more and people are going to get help more, but it's still, like, a huge problem. Yeah, no, it's so true. I'm wondering, too, in the whole mix here, right? What role do you see alcohol playing with this, right? is this probably helping you kind of manage the emotions to a certain extent, right? Kind of a way to, like, escape what's really going on. But like, I'm just thinking too, in the long run, this probably poured gasoline type thing on the fire.

No doubt about it. And that's why people tell you not go out and get fucked up when you're super emotional or you're depressed because alcohol is a depressant. My therapist asked me for two, three years to quit. And I didn't. I literally told her I could not. The best way I describe how I am as a drinker is like, I call it autopilot, where I can have beer after beer shot after shot.

I'm not a bad drunk. I'm not an asshole. I can have fun with people I know or people I don't. And I just get fucked up to get fucked up. And next thing I know, it's like three in the morning and I'm at some after party or at the bar because I know the people that run the club and I'm just hanging out while they're closing down. And it's like, why the fuck am I here?

What am I doing? But you just get in that cycle. Wake up hunger next day and you do it again. And the next weekend, it helps take off the edge, obviously, when you're going through shit a little bit. And it can be a nice to turn to go out and have some drinks with the boys or go boating and have some beers, things like that. But when you don't address the first problem, which is the mental part, that second

problem of alcoholism or drinking, whatever it is, it's not going to get any better because you're not tackling that problem. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And that's so true. Like, it just becomes another thing. And it's interesting that your therapist there was mentioning to you for years to quit. And you were still wanting to drink, right?

Which is very real for people, right? It's very real for us to see how this is causing a problem in our life, but still being kind of married to it in a way. Right. No, you are. And it's been such a big part of my life since I was young. I mean, I don't think until I got sober three months ago, I don't think I had gone more than a week without a drink since I was 17. maybe 18 and like especially in my adult life like I would drink pretty much every single day having a few beers after work or going out after work or whatever it was like yeah it's hard to

just you're married to it and I remember when I first started to try to like quit different times over the last year after I went to therapy and checked myself into the mental health hospital was like I could get to like day two or three and then it was finally like all right fuck it like I want to have a beer I mean I think I like to taste a beer now that I'm older and I've had about 150,000 of them. But again, it's just the addiction to that buzz. And like, you hear people talk about how, like, they're not going to go dance at the bar

until they're liquored up a little bit. They have some booze in them. Or you're not going to go try to get some girls' number or hit on somebody, things like that. It's like, I probably agree with all of that on my end. But I'm also, like, I'm different. Alcohol is different for me. I love that buzz.

I love getting fucked up. It doesn't make you feel better, but it's a distraction to the problems that you're having. I think is the best way to put it. Yeah. No, for sure. Yeah, it's a huge distraction.

Like, I found out just had less of an effect, right? So, like, what I really enjoyed when I was 17, 18, 19, that effect wore off of like the innocence of it, the fun of it. And then, like, to you mentioned, right, after college, like, a lot of people move on, right? And a lot of found that in my story is, like, a lot of people moved on. And I was, like, stuck at the same bars with the same crew. You know, I used to work at a restaurant when the kitchen, man. So everybody was partying.

And that's what we used to do was hang out with the same people. And at the time, it was like, this is the coolest thing in the world. You know, everybody that goes to these different bars and restaurants and you just belong somewhere, you know, and then everybody kind of moves on. And then at least in my story, there I was. Maybe not the last guy hanging on, but it was like the last person who wanted to be part of the party, right? And then it just kind of gets old.

So you leave it. I'm wondering to it, the hospital you went to, did they mention to anything about drinking? Or, I mean, did you tell them anything about drinking? Yeah. Yeah, no, they were definitely, like any person that's worked in mental health. health care or just health care in general, I talk about my story and things that I've been through, like drinking, is a depressant? It's not good for you, finding a new habit, go do something else. You can't take this medication for your depression while you're drinking. And so like literally

that's like two, three years ago. I didn't take anything for my mental health because they said you couldn't take it while you were drinking. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm not going to quit drinking, which is like the stupidest thing in the world because your mental health is way more important than being able to go have beers or, you know, take some shots. But that was just the addiction of it of like, no, I'm not going to take care of my mental health. I'm not going to take this medicine because I want to keep drinking, which is just so stupid looking back on. Yeah. Hindsight's always 2020, you know. Looking back, we always kind of, we can figure out where the ship maybe went off course a little bit. When do you decide to give up the drinking,

right? So you go to the hospital, then you're still drinking afterwards, right? Yeah, no, I still was drinking until. So what happened was I've had multiple nights over my life or times where it'd been like the extreme of like being super fucked up, maybe getting into like being at a cool event because of my job where I get to hang out with different celebrities or pro athletes. And next thing I know it's five in the morning and I'm all messed up. And then I wake up and you have that awful feeling of like, why did I do this?

I just got tired of waking up like that. And that was like the last day I drink was one of those. nights where it was that autopilot phase where I was all fucked up and we were ripping shots and drinks and I was hanging out with people I barely knew and we're partying and then I just like remember waking up that next morning at my house and I'm like I can't do this anymore like I have this podcast I have this new business I have these dream gold aspirations like fuck this I can't do it anymore it's just I've done it for almost 10 years and it hasn't really done any good for me when you look back at it, and it's not like knocking anyone that wants to keep drinking.

It's just for me, I finally got to the point where I'm like, alcohol doesn't really do anything good for me. So you had those moments of wanting to quit or maybe giving you reasons to, and I finally got to the point where I was like, all right, I'm done with this shit. Yeah, wow. Did you black out a lot? I wouldn't say like whole nights where I was blacked out. I would say, yeah, there are definitely times where I don't remember things or I had got super

fucked up. But like, I would just go places and people would know to hand me a course, or that I wanted a shot at Jameson. And then it turns out where like people recognize you or know you or like you have friends that are out that same night. And like as soon as somebody new shows up, it's let's rip another shot. Let's rip another shot. Or let's go to this bar, this club, things like that.

So yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say I was blacked out a lot. But I was as close as you can get to it. Most nights I went out. I wanted to get fucked up as much as possible. Yeah. So how did things change those? So you wake up, you had another one of those rough nights, rough mornings. Then you what?

I mean, like, you just decide that that's enough. I mean, what steps do you take after that to really make this thing stick? Well, the next day I was going out to watch basketball with my buddies all at a bar. And so that was like the first step of me going, yeah, I think I'm going to have a lemonade. And then it got to the point of, all right, I think I want to do this. Can I do this? How do I attack it? Do I need to go to AA?

Can I do it on my own? and I decided I could do it on my own and I've been successful with it and I'm really happy about that and that's not the answer for everyone but like I had no beer in the house anymore because I'd already like drank it from the week before and which is very rare

because I always had like a full case in my fridge but so I didn't have any drinks at the house once I got past like week one week two I got to that hurdle and I'm like okay I think I can really do this and I had the goal originally for 100 days that was like let's try 100 days sober, see what it's like. I'm hitting that right now as we're talking, which is super awesome.

But I had no idea what to expect. And now I got two, three weeks into it. I'm like, why the fuck would I ever drink again? Like, it just doesn't make sense for me. And maybe that changes once I meet somebody and we get married one day and I want to go out and have a glass of wine or beer. And like, that mentality has changed and my life's changed where I can handle that. I'm not ruling it out forever. But it is possible that I am sober for the rest of my life because I see the positive effects of it with my work, my health, how I feel. So it was just baby steps at first. And then once you got through those first one, two, three weeks,

I've been kind of in cruise control since. You do have those moments like I was golfing two weeks ago and it was like 90 degrees out. And we're all sweating my buddies are cracking beers. I'm like, damn, beer sounds good right now. But after like five minutes, it goes away. Or like you're out at the bar. And I still go out and have a good time. I'm just only there for like an hour or two.

And I obviously drink lemonade or power aid now. but you have that moment where you're like, I kind of want to be here. And then you're like, nah, not worth it. And then you just get past it and have a good time dancing or watching the football game, things like that. Yeah, that's so true. Like the cravings or whatever, like usually it's fairly short lived, right?

If you just stick with it. But I mean, it's the whole thing. I mean, I really enjoy that perspective too about like maybe it's not forever. You know, because I think that really scares people and keeps people from even getting started. Is this daunting idea of like never drinking again. and some people are just like, I can't even handle that idea. So they don't even start as to where you could just say set a goal for yourself 100 days. And I love the way you put it before too is you're like, I've done this for 10 years.

It hasn't really done anything good for me that I can really identify. And it's probably never going to. Like there's not going to be a day. I don't think where we wake up and all of a sudden it's just going to start providing us value. You know, I mean, it's literally like the makeup of it itself does not provide the human body any value. So I think that that's like incredible to, you know, set that goal of 100 and see what the heck happens, man. And then here you are. Right. And I think one of the cool things for me was realizing how common it is for people to be sober or to not drink and not

everyone has a problem with alcoholism or a drinking problem. But for me, with my career, I interview a lot of people and listen to a lot of shows and podcast. And I remember hearing Jack Harlow talk about when his new album was coming out, like if he was going to go celebrate, he's like, yeah, I'm going to go celebrate, but like I'm not like popping champagne or anything. I don't have a drinking problem, but like I just really want to be focused on my work and like not be hung over. And I think that's going to help me achieve my dreams and my goals. And then once I heard that, I started looking at other people.

Like, there's a lot of people that are every day at your nine to five, right, your blue collar jobs, but also like celebrities and athletes that are just sober because they've been through the same shit as me where they're like, all right, I'm not going to change. what I want to unless I cut this out of my life. And seeing that it's so more common than you think and accepted than I thought, that has helped me a lot. Accepting the idea of going sober. I don't know if it's going to be forever.

And I keep that door open so that it's not like that mental block you were talking about. But it could also be a permanent thing. Who knows? We'll see where life takes me. Yeah, no, that's incredible. So would you say that was one of your big motivators is that you felt like it was just holding you back from where you wanted to go? Yeah, because starting the mental game, this is my podcast, my business.

I do literally every single piece of it from booking guests to editing to social media to marketing to literally every single piece of it. So it's like, yeah, I want to go out and have fun. But if I go out and go to a bar as a game and go to the bar afterwards, that's like five, six hours of me getting fucked up, not doing anything for work. And then I wake up and I'm hung over too. It's like, I could have been doing this podcast with you. I could have been recording my own podcast or booking a new guest or sending out emails.

It's just when you have a motivation or a goal, like taking alcohol out of the equation just helps you accomplish it or at least put time towards it so much better because you don't have this deterrent and distraction that can be fun at times, but it really is bringing you down. Yeah, that's incredible because I think that that can be helpful for people too, that Like sometimes we might not look at it that way, that it's really getting in the way of us being our best self. Like it's really just getting in the way. I mean, that's kind of an eye-opening thing, maybe a hard conclusion for us to come to, right? Because it's like, yeah, it becomes so ingrained in our identity.

That's what I found out through hearing a lot of these stories is that it becomes just really part of us. Like there's like oxygen and then there's like alcohol. We needed both of them every day or five at a seven days. And then it's like to walk away from that. Yeah, scary. But yeah, your productivity is probably through the roof. I mean, you're firing on all cylinders every day. That's what I love about is when I wake up in the morning,

I know my competition. I don't really have any competition but myself. But if I did, they're struggling some days. And I wake up every day and I'm firing on all cylinders. I'm ready to take that call at 8 o'clock in the morning. I'm ready to answer that email. Like, I'm ready to go 24 hours a day. And I love that.

No, I'm the same way. And it's like, I might be tough. But at least I'm not hungover. I can get a little good up and go. Like, I just remember after the Bengals, they had a big Thursday night game this year. It was the first time me going as a fan. And like,

I went out to a club and an after party with some of the players and some celebrities that were in town. And like, it was a super cool night. And I got all fucked up and had, you know, some of the best times in my life. But then I got like three hours of sleep

and I woke up at 8 a.m. So hung over and nest up that like, I didn't do anything productive that entire workday. And I almost missed a show I had scheduled like, Fio Vaughn, it puts one of the best ways I've ever heard, and he's a comedian that has an amazing podcast called This Past Weekend. And he's very funny and comedic, but he also is super serious about mental health and his sobriety. And he was talking to Logic, the rapper, about it. And he's like, the best way I can describe it is the reason why I want to get sober and I don't want to get fucked up anymore is because I'm afraid if I do, I won't be here to do this interview with you tomorrow.

or I'll miss a show that I have scheduled or I'll miss a flight like what's worth it anymore and nothing's worth losing out on your dream, your work, your friends, your relationships. It's not worth putting alcohol before that. So him saying that, that's when it kind of registered to me is like, yeah, that's exactly how I feel like.

That's the best way for me to describe why I went sober. Yeah. I love that. I love that too. I had another guy on the show and he said, he listened to one of his shows and that's what changed his life. But yeah, I think that's been incredible and encouraging

because for a long time, sobriety was looked at like you have alcoholism so you need to get sober because it's going to kill you and i mean that can be the story for so many people but i think like there's more to it there can be more like you don't have to go all the way to the end of the road before you want to make a change with your life you know you see a lot more younger people too playing sports like everybody i see like my cousins and stuff they're like 20 21 22 23 25 like they don't drink i'm like you guys don't drink you know and i get it now but when i was young Like just like your story, like we were just running around, you know, I mean, drinking was the thing and like they don't do it.

So it feels like it's changing a little bit. People are becoming more aware of maybe how distracted the alcohol makes us. I don't know if that's the right thing, but. No, it makes sense to me. I don't understand kids of this generation because I would like, like you said, I loved the idea of going out and finding a case of beer or having someone order by it for me or going out to the bars. I can't imagine being 24, 25 and having no interest in drinking. That's just crazy to me. Yeah, but I mean, good.

Like, I'm happy for them. Like, if that's a better way to live, like, I wish I would discover that early. But I'm also a big believer of everything in life happens for a reason. And I wouldn't have the podcast and the platform I do now and get to interview all these cool people and talk with you or have this point where my mental health changed and I got sober if I didn't go through the years and years of drinking or the feeling of being alone or that toxic relationship and breakup. Like I wouldn't be the person I am and accomplishing this dream of, you know, I always

wanted to host this night show. I feel like I'm kind of doing that just in a way that's more of my two passions of sports and mental health. And I'm bringing it together. I get to interview some of the coolest people in the world, but this wouldn't have been possible if I didn't go through that shit. So I think everything happens for a reason and I'm grateful that I had those moments in my life, even if they were low because they got me to where I'm at now.

Yeah, what a powerful way to look at it. What a powerful perspective. Before we sign off here, this has been incredible, man. We covered so much ground and I appreciate you so much for jumping on here to share your story. It's not an easy thing to do, but I think it's extremely powerful the message you bring. What's the deal with the podcast? What's the name of your show? I know you mentioned it a few times, but I'm blank on it right now. No, you're good. It's called the mental game and it's where I interview athletes, musicians, celebrities, influencers, comedians about mental health and their stories of depression, anxiety, alcoholism, different things. Because I realized when I wasn't on TV for a few weeks and I put out a letter on social

media that this is what I'm going through. I was suicidal. I checked myself into a mental health hospital. I got like, I don't know, anywhere from 1,500 to 2,000 messages, emails. And I'm like, all right, if this little sports supporter from Cincinnati can get that reaction, what if I start a conversation with the NFL players I know or reach out to bigger names who have bigger fan bases of celebrities and musicians, whoever, we can create this mental health kind of conversation and open it up.

You know, that person that's going through a divorce or just lost their job sees their favorite athlete or favorite actress talking about they went through the same thing. It helps motivate them and accept those feelings of, yeah, I should go to therapy. Or I should check myself in because I'm thinking about suicide. Just opening up that conversation like it hasn't been done before with kind of the high profile people that the everyday person looks up to, that's been really cool to kind of intertwine myself in that conversation and host it. Wow, dude, that's incredible. And you bring your own story to the table too, right, your own experience. And that's so cool too. So you're living in a dream, man.

Here we got Brandon here and he's dream, man. I love it, the late show, the mental health, and you kind of sandwiched it together to kind of bring your own thing to the table. No doubt about it and I am living my dream. I want to get it to like a way, way bigger audience and platform and helps so many more people. But I think the genuine story I have helped me start to get it off the ground. And then that does open doors for conversations because I have the background of being a journalist and being a reporter on TV. But I've also gone through some of the worst things you can do with mental health and now drinking. And so when I ask these athletes or celebrities, like, if I get through to them, you get a lot of nose, but if you get through

to them, they're accepting because they realize, like, I truly want to help people. And so that's been a really cool part of it is just getting their genuine conversation and them opening up about their emotions and their mental health because of my story. Like, it's just kind of been a perfect storm for starting this. That's incredible, dude. And this is what you do, full-time gig? Full-time gig. This is what I do. So I say I'm living the dream. I'm not exactly living it just yet. You understand the grind of a small business and starting it. Like I left my TV job in August, launched the mental game in November.

So it's been under a year. So, yeah, working my ass off to make it the biggest and best mental health podcast out there. That's my goal. That's incredible, man. Isn't it wild, though, in today's world, 2023, where you can actually start your own show and you can make it big time. Like, if you think back like 20 years ago, I mean, you could never really start your own show that could be available to everybody with a smartphone. It is crazy. And like, I've talked to different people in different companies and people in

LA and New York and studios. And like, they talk about it too. Like before you'd have to go pitch NBC or ABC or ESPN radio on a show, now you can just start it up and go and build it organically. And that's been fun for me as like seeing it start to grow organically, like having a couple TikToks kind of go viral and grow it or certain guests that show. share it because they love the conversation, me getting some of their fans to tune in to more than just that episode. It is so cool to be able to build your own platform and you've done it too where like my biggest goal is to save lives and help people. But seeing that mental health community grow and interact with each other is such a cool thing. Yeah, that's beautiful, man.

Well, look, dude, you got our support over here, man. Sober motivation will help you out any way we can. And some people too, if this stuff Brandon's talking about hits home, be sure to jump over there and check out this show and show them some love. Thank you so much for having me on, man. It's been a pleasure. I love this conversation. And my biggest advice to anyone is just do something. If you're going through shit, you're depressed, suicidal, you're dealing with a drinking

problem, just do something. It doesn't have to be therapy. It doesn't have to be checking yourself in somewhere like I did, but just call a friend and tell them what's going on or talk to your family about it. Or if it is that bad, go do something about it. Like, just do something. That is the best advice that I can. good. Yeah, beautiful love that. Yeah, do something. And I think for myself, I could have saved myself

a lot of trouble if I was just honest when I taught with people. I feel like I just always held something back. Like, I was just worried about what they were going to think. And my folks or whoever it was, they weren't going to think anything different of me. I just kind of bought into that story in my own mind, you know, so I love that though. Just share with somebody, man. Send Brandon a message too. You can find them on Instagram. How can they find you on Instagram? Yeah, just Brandon Seahoe. It's B-R-A-N-D-O-S-A-H-O on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, everything there. And then the mental game is on YouTube and on every podcast platform. So you'll find a lot of cool conversations I've had NFL legend Ricky Williams on, Kate Flannery from the office, shooting some new ones right now.

I've been to New York and L.A., Nashville, Chicago. The one that just dropped right before we talked was with Ryan Shazir, who has one of the most inspirational stories from his this time being a star for the Steelers and had that crazy injury left him paralyzed from the waist down. Now he can walk again and is giving back to other people who have gone through the same type of spinal injury as him. So it's been a really cool thing hearing people's stories. Wow, that's incredible. Yeah, thanks again. And yeah, we'll see you around. Sounds good. Thank you for everything you're doing too. I love it. Wow, another incredible episode. Hope you guys are enjoying the podcast.

I think this is a really important conversation that we had here with Brandon about. just taking this thing a day at a time. Setting goals for yourself, 30, 60, 90, 100 days and seeing how things go. Because the idea of forever, for some,

might be too overwhelming to begin. So if that's your case, set yourself some goals, reevaluate in 100 days and see how you feel. See how your relationships are, how your career is,

how you feel about yourself. If those things have improved, then you know you're on the right track. If you're enjoying the podcast, do me a huge favor. Drop a review on your favorite podcasting platform. And I'll see you on the next one.