Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Britt was secretly struggling with alcohol for years.

Episode Date: September 12, 2025

In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, the host welcomes Britt, who shares some of her struggles growing up in a household affected by addiction in South Florida. Britt talks about her relationship struggles and attempting to be the fixer of others. As life went on, Britt experienced domestic violence in her marriage, and alcohol became a way to numb and escape. With time, they both progressed until she left with her 3 kids and became homeless overnight.  Her drinking kept going as the shame and guilt compounded. On Sept 27th, 2018, a prayer was answered, and her sober journey began. This is Britt’s story on the Sober Motivation podcast. Support the Show: https://buymeacoffee.com/sobermotivation Join the Sober Motivation Community: https://sobermotivation.mn.co/ Britt on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brittbrandonofficial/

Welcome back to season four of the Sober Motivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. In this episode of the podcast, we welcome Britt, who shares some of her struggles growing up in a household affected by addiction in South Florida. Britt talks about her relationship struggles in attempting to be the fixer of others. As life went on, Brit experienced domestic vice. violence in her marriage, and alcohol became a way to numb and escape. With time, they both progressed

until she left with her three kids and became homeless overnight. Her drinking kept going as the shame and guilt compounded, and on September 27th, 2018, a prayer was answered. And her sober journey began. And this is Britt's story on a sober motivation podcast. Welcome back, everyone, another episode here. Incredible story. Actually, really incredible story. Small world. too. Brit lives now where I grew up and caused so much mayhem and chaos and everything else. But I wanted to bring a thought to you guys before we jump right into this story. And it's this. My life really changed when I understood this one thing. Nobody was coming to save me. I know we hear it all the time and all the motivational and

inspirational stuff. And I'm not trying to be some sort of motivational or inspirational type guru or anything here for all of you. But if you're stuck at a place in your life and you're not reaching your goals and you're just not feeling good about where you're at, maybe think about that for a second. That nobody from the outside is coming in to save us to make all these choices for us, to do it for us. You know what I mean? If it was that easy, I would just get sober for everybody that I work with and everybody

I know and everybody I ever came in contact with. I would just get sober for them all. it doesn't work like that it's about the choices that we make and about taking this thing one day at a time and if you're just starting out not worrying about next week or next year or new years or christmas or all these events or everything that you're wondering i'm going to miss out on all of this stuff because i'm not drinking because that's not true but it does take a little bit of time to get to that spot with things so yeah nobody was coming to save me at all and i had to make the choices it was my responsibility to get out of the hole that I was in.

So realizing that really just changed my perspective, kind of just put it back on me to take accountability for my own actions and my own choices that I was making that were just not serving me anymore. They just weren't productive in my life. It wasn't helping me out. So great stuff. Last episode with Will got a couple messages on that too. So glad that that was relatable for some.

I think it was just great how Will had noticed. with time not plugging in or not staying consistent with what was helping him so much. And I see that a lot. I really see that a lot. I think it's a lesson that some of us learn on this journey. I know I sure did. I thought I had it figured out. I thought I was in the clear and I started to pull back on my supports and everything else. And it was a very slippery slope on the way down, hit a few rocks along the way. I also want to mention too just because I don't talk about it too much. on social media, but the sober motivation community is just incredible. So incredible. The feedback I get constantly from people that I hear them share about and seeing the app and everything that we have is that

they wish they had joined sooner. You know, we have some people maybe six months in or three months in or maybe even a year in. And they've done it all themselves. And I mean, kudos to them. It's incredibly difficult, but it is possible. But I think it's a big breath of fresh air. When you get around other people that are on the journey and you make some new relationships and friendships and you find a way to have a little bit of fun with all of this because it's a very heavy subject and a very heavy thing in life but to have a little bit of fun and make those connections and talk with people who actually get it. Our meetings and everything we do, it's not dark, it's not scary, it's real life, it's the truth, it's a safe place to come, to talk about what you're going through

to find support, to get ideas of things that have worked for other people and to see how they're growing. It's a really cool, a good friend of mine in the community just celebrated a year. He joined us on his first day, and I'm not going to share a ton about his story, because that's his story to share. But he joined on his first day, and he had mentioned that morning, you know, being really hung over. And I just thought, you know what, let me give this a try. And I was talking with another member, too, that had just joined, and he's at seven months, or coming up to seven months joined his first day, I believe, as well. And his whole idea was like, I've tried so many other things.

Maybe I'll just try this out. And maybe he didn't even plan to stay. And seven months later, we can't get rid of them for all the right reasons. So enjoy this episode. Thank you, as always, for all the support. If you enjoy the podcast, you can always make donations over at buy mea coffee.com slash sober motivation. Now let's get to it.

Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. We got Britt with us today. How are you? I'm good. Thank you so much for having me on. Of course. Thank you so much. Before we even get into it, though, just checking out your bio and stuff before.

I mean, you're living in where I grew up, which was small world. Small world. What a riot. I know. This is so cool. Yeah. So awesome. Great to have you.

So what was it like for you growing up? So I grew up in South Florida. It was me and my brother. who, I mean, we were just like thickest thieves growing up in pretty much the best kind of childhood you could have. And it is funny because I was actually talking to somebody a couple months back and so many things show up from your childhood that you don't realize earlier until you start kind of reflecting on things. So my parents got divorced when I was 10, but I had never seen them fight. So that was, you know, a fun dynamic. And so we lived with my mom who was not.

addict and growing up without a dad and then with a mom who struggled with addiction heavily. And I sat out young men who needed fixing. And so I actually had my long-term boyfriend from my teenage years and my mom in rehab at the same time. And growing up, I really didn't have any kind of struggles with addiction. And it just was everybody else around me. Yeah. So yeah, it was it was pretty wild. It was just the norm. And then growing up in South Florida, I mean, in the opioid epidemic, it was kind of, it was like, it was just looking back on things now,

it's pretty wild to see how things, it was just rampant with addiction. And so it was just the norm that everybody kind of struggled with their own thing in their own way. Yeah. Well, thanks for sharing that too. I think it's a good sort of thing. I mean, when I reflect back on sort of all that. That's when I really got big into opiates too, was like during that, like, I want to say like 2008, 2009, 2010, maybe. I think, I don't know, I mean, these are my thoughts on. I think that's when a lot of regular everyday, maybe people who necessarily wouldn't have been exposed to something as addictive as the opiates were drawn into it because of workplace accidents or so many different things in life. It was just like, okay, here's a solution that works so well.

in the wild part was it did work so well. And I think that's kind of relatable to alcohol too at some point. At some level is that like it does check the boxes for us. And a lot of people sharing their story, it does until it doesn't. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That's right.

That's exactly what I say. It worked until it didn't. Yeah. Yeah. So going back to when your family kind of goes, there's separate ways here. You mentioned something too, like your mom struggling and everything. Like you felt that was kind of like normal.

That was like kind of what you grew up with. type thing? Yeah. So, I mean, I remember and, you know, like, I remember going into my dad's office when I was little and it just being like filled with smoke and smelled like weed and going out and telling my mom, like telling my mom on him, like thinking he was smoking cigarettes and, and, you know, her kind of like poo-pooing that away. And then my mom would like be in bed for days at a time saying that she had a headache or something

like that. And you don't know what those things are until you're older and you're able. to recognize them for what they are. So it's, I mean, it really just was my norm. And it was kind of like, you know, that don't ask, don't tell as we got older. It was like, you know, mom would be in bed. Like something would happen. I remember one time she had wanted this job and she, she was even like buying clothes to prepare

for it and she didn't get it and she was in bed for a week. And it was like, you know, so there were there were a bunch of things like whether it was depression or anxiety, you know, who knows. And, and my heart goes out to her now upon reflection as a mom, you know, me as a mom. And it's just really sad. And to your point about how, you know, the opioid epidemic, it's so funny because I was just talking with somebody about this last night. And I feel so blessed that I didn't even try any kind of barbiturates or opioids because it's almost like it didn't even take more than one time. And these people around me just got hope. but my boyfriend at the time had anxiety.

So they prescribed him as an ex. And that's all he needed. And he was hooked for life. My mom, you know, she had these migraines. So they prescribed her barbiturates and then opioids. And so that's what kicked that off. And it's just, it's wild how the long term effects just took people down like crazy.

Yeah, for sure. When you look back at that time in your life, I mean, would you agree at all that it kind of pushed you to maybe grow up, but maybe a little bit faster than your peers around you? or no. Oh, yeah. Oh, like, I mean, like when everybody was in rehab and I was like having to take turns, like going to visit people and then come home. My Nana was tasked with staying with us. And I mean, she was older. So she didn't know what was going on. And then my younger brother, I was trying to

make sure that he didn't feel like it was so normal to us that it was kind of like we thought everybody went to rehab. So it was as crazy as that sounds. So it was like, while she was away, It was like we just kind of hope that when she got back, she was better than she was than she was when she left. And so it was kind of at the time, it was, it was like you're just hopeful that it works. But it was definitely exhausting and definitely forced us to grow up a lot faster because we just had to, there was nobody to make sure that we got to school. It was all on us. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. And you mentioned the other thing there too, that in your relationships, too, you're looking to, you know, maybe be the fixer. I think that's the word you use, right? to help people out and help people out. I mean, what do you take from that looking back after some time? Oh, I mean, I definitely just wanted success in being able to help somebody out of that. Like, I look back and it's so sad now. I mean, I work with a wonderful counselor now, but I look back on those years from like 15 to 19

and just feeling so helpless. there was just nothing that like and and my boyfriend at the time who I mean I loved it like he was you know my high school sweetheart and the whole like plans to get married and have kids and everything like that and he was just in and out of rehab and he loved me so much and just couldn't like no matter what no matter what he tried he just couldn't get away from it and it was it was so sad to watch and so helpless I mean you just feel like there's nothing that you can do yeah yeah and I feel like too if we're taking on that role in the world of like trying to help people and then things aren't working, maybe we look in the mirror and just say, oh, yeah, maybe it's me or maybe I'm not

good enough or maybe we can come up with these stories, I think ourselves, that we're inadequate in some way or another and maybe, you know, hurt our self-esteem. I sure as heck did that. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. I 1,000 percent agree. So what do you, so you go through high school and you're not drinking or anything at this time or, I mean, because some people, before you even get to that, because some people, too, I think that grow up in households, I've heard so many different ways it kind of plays out. Some people are really turned off to the idea because they see the damage that it's caused at home, whether it be addiction or substances or whatever. So they think, well, I'm not going to bother with that. I'm going to plug into school.

And, too, I mean, another thing I'm thinking, too, is when you have this home life, I taught with somebody recently that had, You know, it was a pretty rocky home life. They loved school because it was sort of their way escape. It was more, I hate the word normal, but it was more structured. It was more of maybe a safe place for them. Oh, absolutely. And it's like so black and white. Like you do this and you get an A.

Do you know what I mean? Like you complete this task. Like my brother went to boot camp for to, he became like maybe special forces and thrived in like the do this and this like this is what you need to succeed. do this and then you win. And I think that is exactly what we both needed because all of this time, it was like, we thought if we were good enough, if we behaved enough, if we got the right grades, if we did, you know, if we supported these people who were completely out of control, that we would be able to have success and it never worked. So then we go into these other realms

of like university, I could do school all day long. I love school. And, you know, even work, working with clients. I love, I love being able to help those people. and be able to have success and see success and celebrate success with them. So it definitely, I mean, I definitely agree with that. Like when you have chaos at home, when you find a structured environment that is like,

you do this and that equals success, it's like, heck yeah, I'll take that all day long. Yeah. Yeah, I'm with you too on that. When I went to rehab at 17 for 12 months,

I did so well. When I went to the hospital, I did well. When I went to jail, I did well in all these environments. And it was, But when I was kind of on my own, I didn't do well. That was like a big struggle, which is so interesting.

I think for the majority of people, that's kind of flipped around. Like when they're on their own, maybe they're able to do that themselves. And then in the structured environments, they're resistant to things. But I was good with that. The idea of you seeing it at home and then not maybe really getting into it right away, I mean, was there anything, any connection there you feel or no? I mean, and it's funny because, I mean, I grew up. in South Florida. So there were drugs everywhere. And so it wasn't like a, I mean, I was definitely

no angel. There were weekends, you know, where somebody would have something and it was like, you tried this or you did that. But there was, it was like isolated situations that never went for more than like that evening. And it wasn't like a, I had never ever experienced the one is too many and a zillion is never enough until way later. Before that, it was kind of like, that wasn't even on my radar. You could drink and it was like you kind of like laughed at the people who couldn't like hold it together because it was just like, get your house in order. But you know, for the most part, it was so in control and it was just kind of like a one, a one off thing. And it wasn't until way later when I used it as. But I don't think that's the other thing too. It was more of like a fun

thing then. And it wasn't until I started using it to numb myself that it became that there was just never enough. There was, it was just constant and I needed an endless, an endless supply. Yeah. Interesting. Well, thanks for sharing that too, because I think that there's so many different stories. Some people, it's there for some people that come on the show, they say, man, for my first drink, I was off to the racist type idea. But then there's a lot of people too who, who maybe the first one, it's not. Maybe it doesn't just send them, you know, completely down the hill of having drinking problem or however we want to shape it up with things right so for that part at that point in your life it was just kind of party it means a teenage it's a teenage thing to do i think as well right i mean

there's that element of exploring and being curious about life and i mean i was really uncomfortable as a teenager and awkward and but when i drank and stuff like that i was i felt like maybe i was more accepted and i was less awkward and people seemed more interested in me and i could yeah the insecurities kind of faded away. But for me, too, the drinking, for the first time I knew, I had this sort of thought of like, this is going to be a problem because I like this too much. But it wasn't that I liked the drinking because I was throwing up everywhere and the world was spinning. But I liked the way I felt and the way others maybe looked at me of like, okay, this is something that I can do and fit in and be accepted and connect with girls or whatever it was.

And I've struggled so bad with that before. Like it was just like, wow, maybe this could be my vehicle. Oh, yeah. I mean, they call it liquid courage for a reason. I mean, you know, it's like it's, it just makes it so that like you're in a like sound judgment. You know, everything is out the window. Yeah. Where did all that go?

You know what the interesting thing is like way off, way off topic of the story I look back at now is like there is that element of like liquid courage and becoming more comfortable. When I look back at it now, though, like through the sobriety lens, like how, I guess fake is the word that's come into my mind, how inauthentic it actually is. Like, hey, we could all get there. But I think one of the beauties of like this whole journey, at least for me, has been pushing the boundaries of like how can I get to a spot of being comfortable to still connect without. You know what I mean? The liquid courage, because I see it all the time at these different events or parties I go to. and it's like everybody comes in and nobody's really drinking yet and everybody's kind of quiet and it's like okay like when is when are you guys going to start you know chatting or whatever and then

a couple drinks go down and you see people open up their shell and I'm like I'm at a place now where I can just do that naturally not so amazing that's my favorite thing about sobriety is I feel more at ease in my own skin than I ever did with the liquid courage that I thought was helping me get to that, but it wasn't, if that makes sense. Yeah, of course. Even though, like, even though I would, whatever, in any kind of altered state, feel like, okay, okay, like everything is fine. I still had such insane anxiety.

And it was like, and it wasn't until, and I mean, I certainly was in no, in no, you know, stable space for the first, I would say for the first, like, solid two years of sobriety that I still would, but I was still trying to figure out who I was. I had never even known Brit. Like, I never, like the first time somebody asked me what I like to do when I was sober, I was like, I don't know. Ice cream. I like ice cream.

You know? And it's like, oh my gosh. Like, I don't even know what I like to do. And it's so cool to learn not only like about yourself, but like I like myself. But like I like myself now. Do you know what? And I can't. I can't say that there is no way that I would have ever been able to say that about myself

prior to sobriety. Never. Yeah. Yeah. It's sort of, yeah, I mean, getting a little bit ahead of ourselves here, which I am enjoying. But it forces us. I think that that's a big thing I feel like I've been leaning a lot into on the podcast is that when we have alcohol to lean on with through the good time.

I mean, because it's good times too. Like I feel like there's this outside idea that like people only drink when things are hard. It's like, I just drank every day, hard, good, whatever it was. But I feel like when we have alcohol to lean on and it's still an option on the table, then every time we reach for it, we don't reach for like the things that are actually going to help us out. We're not going to figure out who the heck we are.

And sometimes it's those hard moments or those hard days and, you know, the first couple of years of like, let me find out. Like, I don't know. I can't think of anything more, any more of a fulfilling journey in life to say, let's see what the heck life is about without numbing or running or. everything else from it, you know? And like, it's tough. It's sometimes it's really difficult, but it's also beautiful at the same time because you can actually figure stuff out. Let's rewind a little bit here if we can, Brit, back to like after high school you mentioned to that you had went to

school. And what was that like for you? Yeah. So that was, so I had thought that if I kind of got away that like I knew that the relationship with my boyfriend who was struggling with addiction. I knew that that was just, it was, it was so toxic. And it was, it was. So it got to the point where I was so afraid that I was going to wake up with him like dead in bed. And, and he would, he would wake me up in the middle of the night to be like, you know, I just want you to know, like. And it would be like these like, like you're the most important thing that's ever happened to me.

It was like these like professions that are, you know, confession. He wanted me to know something in case something happened to him. And it was like, it was too, I mean, I was little. I was like 19. I mean, the possibility of like losing this person who I love more than anything, it was horrifying. So anyway, so I moved to college and it was still close by. So I mean, it was just an hour away.

But it was just enough to give me a little bit of clarity of like how how crazy things had gotten because I was away from my mom. I was away from him. and we kind of like got further and further apart and eventually it was just like it just that was the end of that and so I as any codependent person would be I immediately went from one unhealthy relationship and when I say immediately I think it was the same week went from one to like the next so like long term boyfriend to the person I ended up marrying and I mean like it's Like, that's when the drinking, like, we were the best drinking buddies of all time.

Like, we, you know, and that's where the alcohol really ramped up. But I would even say then, like, how we were kind of talking about, like, when you said, like, there's like that young, you know, you do things and it's fun. Like, we, I was a substitute teacher at the time for one of the, like, one of our local high schools. And we would stay up until two or three, like shutting down the clubs, drinking, doing our thing. get up at six and go to work and then come home, take a nap and do it all over again. But it was because we were, you know, 19 years old. And so that was, I think that was when I really had like alcohol become a pretty consistent fixture.

So he was like seven years older than me. So at the time, like I was like 20. He was 27. And it was just alcohol just became a daily thing. And it was, it was just normal. Everybody in his group did it. everybody and they became my group and so it was like this is what 27 year old people do and so it was just kind of like that became our norm and and I think that's when alcohol it was like not

not illegal it wasn't pills it wasn't going to kill me no I had never heard of anybody dying from alcohol so it was like this is what older people do and it was fine I was still able to work and function so it was like why this isn't bad yeah yeah Well, I mean, I think it's all, yeah, all rationale that we kind of come up with too. When we were younger, I mean, there wasn't the information then. I was just thinking that. I mean, maybe if you would have dug deeper, you could have found it. But I didn't know anything.

I mean, when I first started drinking, I had no idea. I had no idea of how addictive it was. I had no idea of the damage that it could do. I had no idea of any of that. It was kind of like the same thing. I mean, I surrounded myself, I think on purpose. with other people that were drinking all the time and that just became a thing. And when I look back, I'm like, well, no wonder it worked out that way because other people

that weren't drinking all the time didn't want to be involved with all the chaos that kind of comes with drinking. Absolutely. Yeah. You know, so what do you do after school then? So that was when, I mean, luckily, so luckily I had my, I got pregnant with my first daughter actually spent my 21st birthday pregnant. So we decided to get married.

And that was where my entire life changed. So I loved being a mom, having my kid, I have three amazing kids. And being a stay-at-home mom was definitely a big change. But, I mean, I loved every minute of it. My husband was not, like, he had always wanted to get married, but kids were not on, were not his thing. And it ended up as we progressed through our relationship that marriage was not for him either, if that. It was just, there were so many different things that he just, he was not.

And when I say like not husband material, I don't mean that in a negative way. I mean like monogamous material. There was just no like, it was kind of like I make money and bring that home and give that to you. And then that's the end of my job here. We're done. And so, which, you know, it's great for some people. But for other people, it makes us really sad. So we were just kind of in this like power struggle that went from being kind of like,

I wanted to have this like family, like just different ideals, I think. And then the way that it ended up progressing was this insane domestic violence situation that just absolutely came out of nowhere. So I had never been exposed to domestic violence, never knew anybody who had been exposed to domestic violence. And when you're in that, when you have no experience from it, it's very easy to have somebody like go from like pushing you and then apologizing. And it's kind of like, okay, he's sorry. And then having like the next thing like of like him giving you like popping you in the mouth and like

busting your lip and being like I'm so sorry. It was just my reaction to what you said. And it's kind of like they're like isolated situations. They're like isolated incidents. So and they kind of like, okay, I shouldn't have said that. And when I said that, it elicited this reaction. So it's kind of like it makes sense. It's like just like you said, it's kind of like when you're, you come up with these, like you come up with the reasoning that supports what you're experiencing. And so it, and that was where it kind of, it just ramped up with every kiddo that we had.

And so we have three. And so by the time I had my third, it was, it was chaos in our house. And so, and, you know, so then there's children involved. So you have the stresses of parenthood. You have the stresses of marriage. You have all of these different things. And then it was just like this domestic violence thing. Still, I didn't know other people were, I thought this was like just me.

And you see movies about it, but you don't think that that's happening to you. We kept it super secret. Like I would go to drop off my kids with like a black eye or something. You know, it's just like always a story. story and it was it just it was like out of control but that was where the alcohol came in and it was like I could breathe and it felt like my nerve endings like throughout my body weren't on fire all the time and so and it just it went from being very fast I would say it went from being something that was it was like oh look at this helps to being something that was like we'll start this

first thing in the morning and that was it was just it worked until it didn't Yeah. How old were you kind of when like how oldish were you when you feel like this transition took place? Yeah. So I would say, let's see, I, you know, we had a couple things happened that really were some pivotal events that it was like, and I knew like this is bad news. But I would say I was probably like 28 and yeah, so 28, 29 when things got got to the point where. it was like, and our kids were old enough that like my oldest, bless her heart now, she just saw so much that it was, it was really, you don't realize like how much kids see and then it's, I mean, they're there, they're present and it's, but I mean, she was like five when violence like really, really stepped up and then it just, it was like four years, four or five solid years

of trying to, trying to keep everything calm, trying to keep everybody else. from knowing what was going on and then also trying to keep myself sane. And so alcohol was what Calvin kept me sane. And so it was like four years of, and it was like, oh, I could stop drinking anytime. And so we would have like these honeymoon periods where things would be fine. And we would have, you know, no, you know, it wasn't like there was violence all day every day for 365 days a year. We would have these beautiful honeymoon periods where it was like, oh my gosh, like things are getting better. And everything is going to be okay.

And then it was like, bam, we'd slam back into turmoil and, craziness and chaos. And then it was like, oh, yeah, there's my, you know, my, can, you know, like my comfort and alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing all that. I mean, that can't be easy to go through that and to share about it as well. Yeah. I mean, well, the thing is, so since I've started even talking about, and this started like on a really small scale, but when I started kind of sharing my story with some of my clients, that's how it started. And it was like, I cannot believe how many people have the same or a similar story as I do. And then when I started sharing my story, it was like people found hope and inspiration in my leaving.

I mean, like I knew if I stayed, there was one night that I felt absolutely sure that I was going to die. If I did not leave that night and I never went back after that. And it was like there's there's so much that we can do to help each other just like you say about sharing our stories and being able to kind of like do that. Like when you share your testimony, you're able to kind of like give hope or just, you know, like, yeah, that light at the end of the tunnel. Like there's there's, it doesn't have to be this way. And once we start sharing our stories, it's kind of like, oh my gosh, like that's happening to me. Or like I have a girlfriend who she was like, oh my gosh, I just found out my, my sister has been dealing with this for 20 years in secret. And it's like it's, you know, they thought she just had an addiction problem.

And it's like addiction is such a symptom of something that's underlying. And so, and it's so common that like women who are either there, it's just, it's pretty, it's been eye-opening and so shocking to be able to find out how, how prevalent this issue is. Yeah. Well, it's good. It's really good. You're speaking up about it too, because I think like what you mentioned there too is kind of what we do see in the movies. It's like, it's got to be this all or nothing type thing. And I think that like anything else, I've never been in the situation and I'm not.

going to act like I know about it because I don't, but just from what you shared there, too, I think, and I would guess that things start small and start slow. And then you have those sort of, like you said, those honeymoon periods in between, like, hey, are we, are things going to get better? And then, you know, there things are again. So it sounds like it could be a confusing spot. And then I also kind of think back, too, to when you were growing up and, you know, people in the family were struggling. It was like, don't talk about it. There's shame involved here. And then I'm just wondering if that correlates to this of like, that's what you saw. And then maybe subconsciously like, okay, there, this is, there's this here.

We don't talk about it. You know, I don't know if there's any connection there. But I would guess that that's what kind of people go through. Yeah. I mean, and that is like I've never even thought of that. But absolutely. And that whole, I mean, I think I kind of like didn't know what went on in relationships because we had just never seen anything happened.

And then it was like, oh, people get divorced. And it was like, well, why would you? you get divorced if everything is okay. So everything's obviously not okay. So how bad was it? And then you just and there's so many things like just like you said with those honeymoon periods, you really do believe like, okay, you know, when somebody says like I am so sorry and that is going to be the last time. And, you know, I promise that will never happen again. You want to believe that. And so there's there's so many different emotions too because and especially like as a stay-at-home mom, I didn't have any way of leaving. Like there was no. And I hadn't told, people didn't know. So it was like, I can't just be like,

hey, I'm leaving, you know, and whatever. It was, it was very, there were so many different layers that just made it so that it was, it was a scary situation that there felt like there was no way out. And that's where the alcohol was like, okay, now we can, we can drink this. And then it makes it so that this situation just isn't so bad. Yeah. Like, I heard somebody say one time like a parachute. You kind of pull the alcohol is like the parachute. When things get tough, you kind of pull the parachute and you're out of there. Yeah. At least between our ears, you know, not necessarily like leaving.

But yeah, I mean, and like you said there too, and we hit on before a couple times, right? I mean, it works. It works to numb everything. That's why I get a little bit confused personally with some people that are like, well, I just enjoy drinking or it's just fun. And it's like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. How much fun is it when we really think about it?

Like how much fun are we having like the day after or the week after or. Oh, yeah. With all the other stuff. I'm like, I don't know. The fun for me wore off. You know, I mean, there were some times where I would be like at the time, okay,

that was a little bit fun. Maybe we connected, whatever was, it was kind of fun. But I'm like, overall, I think the fun was wore off pretty quick. It's kind of like a new car or a new phone.

Like everything is great until the bill comes. Oh, man. You know, that car is so great. Now the bills do. It's like, Okay. Well, and I think too, like when you do become like comfortable with yourself, like, I can't even imagine drinking now. And, and I am one of the super, super blessed people who doesn't have that poll. You know, I have tons of people who, who I love very dearly who fall back into

addiction all the time. And it's, and that poll, especially with alcohol, because it's everywhere. I mean, you can go to Walgreens and get alcohol. So it's not, there's no trouble in getting it. And it's just, It's really hard, but at the same time, you get far enough away from it. And I was just at lunch with a girlfriend of mine. And she was talking to, she's sober too. And she was talking about how she was at a party with a bunch of women who, they're all the same age. And she was like, we're all 50.

And I'm like, get yourself together. Like, what? You know, like what? Why are you getting so intoxicated? And then she started saying to herself, like, did I look like this? And that's the other thing. I think it's like, you know, we have those drunk goggles on of like, oh, you know, I don't look so bad. And I remember I fell one time at the pool and it was like, nobody knows it's fine.

It's like everybody knew. Yeah. Yeah, it's very much. I know. I just went to this concert recently and it was a pretty big concert. And I was there with my wife. She doesn't drink. I don't drink.

And it was like a four or five, six hour show. And you could just see the progression of things. And I mean, I'm not. judgmental towards anybody who decides to do their thing and drinking. And, you know, maybe that's their, I give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that's their one night a year they went out. So when I do your thing. But to see it kind of all play out, yeah, you know, after six hours of heavy drinking in the stands, it, uh, yeah, I mean, things get interesting, right? Yeah. And in the reality is like everything I saw, I have done once, twice or a dozen times that everybody was,

was kind of doing it. I remember I actually went to this concert. Oh, man, years. This is many, many years ago, but I had this one picture of my buddy. He was a bigger guy than I was, but I was so into it. He had to hold me like a bear hug with one arm to like carry me out of this place. And it's just like, I just couldn't live like that anymore. I'm with you. I just can't, couldn't imagine living like that, but I definitely did catching back up to your story here. So when do you, you end up leaving your marriage there. And I mean, what does all of that look like? Yeah.

So there was one night where, I mean, it got so bad that I was like, I'm going to die if I stay. And so I left and never looked back. And so I was homeless and like with three little kids in tow. And we stayed with my mom for a little while. And it was just, it was chaos, but it was so much less intense than the walking on eggshells being woke. I mean, it got so crazy that it was like, it was just constant. It was 24 hours a day. Like he was, he would wake up the whole household and be like screaming and busting iPads on, on, on, on like, kitchen islands and kids would be screaming. And it was like two o'clock in the

morning. And it was, it was, it was mayhem. And so we got out of that and it was like any kind of chaos that just didn't involve that element was peace to a whole new level. So, I mean, a series of events happened. We were able to go, we were able to get our own apartment. And we, my, my middle one actually calls it the noodle days. And she's, we just didn't have any money. But we, and we had no furniture when we first moved in. And she remembers we, we made a thing of noodles and sat on, in the middle of the floor, eating off of like paper plates with plastic cutlery. And she was like, I've never been so happy in my entire life. Like, it was the best night ever. And so we, that became like our sense of, you know, our peace. And we lived in like a gated community so that, you know,

so that we had that element of safety. And then Christmas Eve of 2017, I had the kids. He was supposed to have them back the next day. We had tried co-parenting. It was just, it was chaos on a different level because he would pick them up from school on days that were mine. And then I'd say, like, where are the kids? And he'd be like, you know, F you. Like, I'm calling the shots and you can't do anything about it. So it was just a different kind of abuse that was. And he was like, this is your life now, get used to it. Wow. And so it was, there was one night. There was one day. I literally went to go pick up my daughter and called the dad on the way there and was like, hey, just wanted to let you know I'm on my way. And he was like, she already got picked up. And I called him and was like,

what are you doing? He was like, you can't do anything about it. You can call your bitch lawyer. Excuse my language, but, and try to do something about it. I'm the one who's calling the shots. And it was like, I turned around, went home and was in my kitchen, crying and angry. And and sad and frustrated and so without hope. Just like, I mean, talk about like total despair. It was like my life was completely out of control just in a different way. And I was like, oh my gosh, what have I done? Because now it was like, now this is a totally, at least I knew the animal that I was fighting

with before. This was like how I don't even know how this can go on. And there was this massive bottle of red wine. And I was so exhausted just looking at this thing. Because it was like, that's my only hope to feel better. And but it's the gross, you know, like I'm just so tired of feeling tired and feeling hopeless and whatever. And I hit my knees and prayed. And it's so crazy.

But like I felt like the weight of the world was lifted in that moment. And everything got worse. But it was kind of like it was almost like the destruction of like everything had to be burned to the ground in order to be better. Fast forward like a couple, like two months. I mean, it wasn't even very long. Christmas Eve, I had the kids. He was supposed to have them back the next day. And he got drunk or high or both and broke into my home at like one o'clock in the morning.

We had people over for like a Christmas party. And he almost killed somebody in my house in front of my kids and was arrested and went to jail. And it was the worst situation, but ended up being the best for our family. in so many ways because I still don't think that we would have had peace. I still think he probably would have killed me. There's so many different things. And, you know, like, I don't, I don't ever try to push faith on anybody, but God works in the craziest ways.

And in our life, like, my children are amazing and thriving. And I don't think that that would have happened had that situation not taken him out of our lives for a period of time. Wow. Yeah. What do you pray for in that moment? To help. I mean, I literally was like, I can't do this.

Like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. And it was like, and it was just all of a sudden I had this feeling of relief. So, oh, so, I mean, minor detail. So he went to, he, so we had like this whole year. So that happened Christmas Eve. We had this whole year basically following that where he was out, not in jail. and we didn't know if he was going to come back. So I had, I had everybody sleeping in my bed.

We had a mace gun. Everybody was like, I mean, I had kids who were wetting the bed from nightmares and it was crazy. And so September 27th, which is my sober date, I was trying to move us out of that house and into a house that he wouldn't know with the address or anything. And start, and I had been cleaning my house and my kids were going to be coming home on the bus. So, I didn't have to be driving anywhere. And so, of course, I was drinking wine from like early on. And I got a call from our realtor. And she was like, you can get the house, but you have to be able, you have to come meet

me with the application. And you're up against this other family. So I need you to come as fast as possible. And so I was going to have to be driving like this like 20 minute stretch that I had driven a zillion times, a zillion times. And I got a flat tire. And I got a crazy DUI. And I mean, luckily, I'm so grateful.

Like, I didn't have my kids with me. It was like midday on like a Tuesday. But because I was intoxicated, I had to be there for, you know, an extended period of time. They wouldn't let me leave until I blew under. And my son's birthday was in like 36 hours. And so I was literally like on my knees of this jail cell floor just like praying that I wasn't going to completely dash this kid's like world. by being the worst mom ever. And that was it.

That was the day that it was like. And then everything, like I said, it kind of seemed like everything got got so much worse. But it was like, I honestly don't believe if I had, if I hadn't gotten that DUI and had to jump through the hoops that I had to as a result with probation. And they threw, they were like these, the way that the judge saw it was he was like, this dad is out of control. You're the mom and you have sole custody of these children. they deserve better. Like if you show up, he was like, if you show up in my courtroom again,

you're going to jail and those children are gone. You will not see those children. And it was like, what in the world? Like everybody gets DUIs all the time and I've never been in trouble before. Why I just totally thought I was going to get a slap on the wrist. And it was like, they gave me an ankle monitor and an alcohol detecting ankle monitor. I had a breathalizer. And I have, I mean, I had to jump through the craziest hoops. But I am so grateful and thankful every day for every one of those hoops because it's like the thought of losing my kids was so horrible. But I don't think I would have been able to stay as consistently focused on on like you can't. I mean, I had dreams of accidentally like drinking alcohol and then running through the woods

trying to evade police. I mean, it was like, it was like, this is scary. If I drink, this is, this is the end. And I don't think that like, that's how bad my addiction was that it. It was like nothing was big enough to be like a big enough threat. Yeah, which thanks for sharing that too, which it is interesting because sometimes people have their DUIs. And I mean, I've had people on the podcast. You know, maybe six hours later they're back to drinking because that becomes their only like the only thing.

I think after some time that we lead on drinking, we don't have a very extensive toolbag. We don't have. I mean, even though we wake up and we're like, I don't want to drink anymore. do we have the tools and the skills to figure out how to go about that? And I think what you're mentioning there can be a very helpful tool that I had lots of in my life, lots of them, lots of peeing in bottles with people watching and making sure that I was doing what I had to do, which at the time, I was like, oh my gosh, how could, how could I be here? But I look back, you know, and I think that accountability and we talked about it earlier,

Like that structure of all of that stuff can help us out if we're not at the point in our own life of being able to hold us accountable. And we live, I think, too, very secretive lives. So not many people know. Like, I don't know if it's was that like that for you, but not many people around me knew the full extent of everything I had. So they couldn't really provide the accountability. I was dishonest.

I was felt shame and guilt and what are they going to think? I came from this incredible middle class family that none of them are doing any of this stuff. So I don't want to tell them. So yeah, any thoughts on that? Now that I have talked to, so like the boyfriend that I had who struggled, he ended up passing away. And like I'm still so close with his dad. I meet with him every single month. And we have stayed so close over the years.

But he grew up in an amazing family, an amazing. nuclear parents were married. They had money. I mean, just so much love and support, faith, everything. I don't think that there's any like my story. It's like, okay, I was surrounded by addiction. But even when I was, I didn't struggle with addiction. It was kind of like, you know, that whole thing. Like, get your house in order. Like, what is wrong with you guys? But it wasn't anything that I really dealt with. And until later on where it was like, oh, like dealing with the same thing that I feel like they found the answer to in drugs or Xanax or whatever it was, I think when your nervous system is on fire and you find whatever it is, whether it's

alcohol or pills, that gives you that sense of relief for just a minute, it's like, oh my God, that's the holy grail. Because it's like all you want is for that feeling to stop. Yeah, you definitely, yeah, you want to do that. And then you get used to it, especially with alcohol, too. There's, I mean, there's the addictive element to it. I think in any list that ever looked at, it usually makes the top three of addictive drugs that you do. And you do it consistently.

You have to keep drinking to try to get near baseline, drinking to get near baseline, get your dopamine. And then when we're not drinking, after your bodies get that dependency of it, it's like you just feel so low. I mean, the dopamine's just depleted. So then it's like, okay, the nervous system, like you mentioned there, it's like, oh, my gosh, it's on fire. You know, mine gets on fire these days. I have three little kids. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, the bedrooms. and like, oh, man, all this stuff, right?

I'm just burning up inside. But like now it's like leaning into things of like a walk or maybe just listening to music or maybe just cutting the grass or maybe just having a conversation or asking my wife like, hey, can you help out here? Or like is this? Sometimes I'll see things as a bigger deal than they are. And I'll say, hey, is this really a big deal right now? And sometimes she's like, yes.

And other times she's like, no. And I'm just trusting that. That, okay, this isn't a big deal. let's just leave it because I'm getting worked up over here and like maybe it's not really the biggest of deal. So it's like those kind of things. But I feel like when alcohol is in the picture, it's like, yeah, because it takes the edge off. I mean, it just does. But the problem with it over time is that we need more.

We need more and we need to drink for longer and all the other stuff. Right. And then our body just gets used to that. You know, and I think some people beat themselves up and just say, you know, look at me. I'm just, I would do this to myself. I'd say, man, I'm just pathetic. Like, everybody else can figure it out. Why can't I just man up and just figure it out?

And, I mean, I think there is an element of personal responsibility and accountability to make changes in our life. But there's also how does alcohol affect the body and change the brain and everything like that, which I never looked at. I just thought like, I just can't figure it out. I'm just really, I felt for a couple years of my life, I'm just good for nothing. Like, I can't figure this out. I'm good for nothing.

Yeah. And then that just contributes to the spiral. Because it's like the negative self-talk, the guilt and shame. I mean, I talk about that with my clients all the time. Like there, there's no room for guilt and shame when you're trying to create a positive life. Like there's just not. You have to be able to forgive yourself. You have to be able to forgive, you know, give yourself grace.

And there's so, for the longest time, I would have these like memories just like replay, replay. And that was another place where like faith came in so amazingly beautifully for me because it was like, I was able to just tell myself, like, I'm forgiven. Let's move on. Like, you know, and it was, it was this beautiful, refreshing feeling of, okay, you know, I'm not where I want to be, but I'm certainly not where I was. And that's, you know, I'm thankful every day for that.

And I love the fact that, like, I have this life now where, you know, just there's no, I don't have, you know, alcohol. I don't have drugs. I don't have anything in my life. I have three kids who because they were exposed to what they were exposed to are adamant against alcohol and drugs, which is like if we went through what we went through in order to be able to have that be the outcome, I'll take it any day. Like for my children to not have addiction be in their life is like that's the only thing that I can, that's the best thing that we could

possibly ask for to come from such a crazy situation. So, you know, there's there's all of these things. But sobriety has, you know, like I think back to the first, I was ordered to 90, 90, 90 meetings and 90 days, right? Everybody has that like that. And I love them. Like it was the first time that I walked into a room and it was like, oh my gosh, these people are like me or like somebody would, it was the first time I ever heard that one is too many and a zillion is never enough. And it was like, oh my gosh, that's me. So it's not just me. And then there was a girl who who was sitting in, she had a hoodie on and she totally looked like she didn't want to be there. Like they asked if anybody had anything else to share? And she raised her hand. And it was my first meeting. And she was like,

I just, I'm six months. You know, I've been clean for six months. And I just want somebody who's here, who's afraid or scared or doubting this process, just know that like I feel amazing. And I can't believe the difference that I feel now compared to where I was. And it was like that one thing gave me so much hope because it was like six months. Like I could do six months. And I could feel different in six months. And that was when you said before we even started recording, you know, it's like that one step at a time. It's like you kind of just,

the further you get away from it, the more clarity you have on like, okay, I could do this and this is better than that. Yeah, 90 meanings and 90 days. Yeah. And I mean, that's sort of the thing too.

And that's why I always stress a lot on the show of people finding some community of some sort, finding somebody to connect with somebody to talk to, somebody understands our families, they want to help us, a lot of them, you know, maybe want to help support or friendships or relationships that we have. They want to support. But I don't know if they know the full extent and finding other people that are sort of on it, been through it, like somebody who understands this right here, you want nothing more than to drink. You see the consequences that's causing,

but you drink anyway. Like, those are my people. I'm like, I get that. I get that where you're like, because some other people I know, they're like, if I don't want to drink, I just don't drink. Yeah, I mean, I can do that now in my life. But I mean, where were you when I needed that solid advice? Like, I tried that. I tried all of that stuff. So even still. I mean, I still talk to people who are like, oh, I went out and I had a drink or two drinks.

And I'm like, what is that? Like, you can shut it off. I mean, to me, it was like, it got to the point where, you know, you had that first drink fast in your seatbelt because it was like the NASCAR flag. You know, I hope we have enough because and there's never enough. And the crazy thing about alcohol, another thing that I didn't learn until I was, you know, more, and this was way into sobriety when I was doing research to help other people. But alcohol, it isn't going to help you sleep because it wakes you back up. I mean, it's like your nervous system only gets that calm.

And then all of a sudden it's on fire again. And it's like, you know, you wake up and it's like, oh my gosh. And then that's how people, I was waking up in the middle of the night and drinking because it was like, I just needed to go back to sleep. And it's, it's, it's, it's mayhem, you know, and I feel there's so many people who are still stuck in this process. And it, you know, it's like that double-edged sword when nobody knows because you do such a great job of concealing it. And so, like, I'm from an Irish Catholic family, too. So it's like, not only do we not discuss things, but it's like there's no such thing as an alcohol problem. So, so it's like, you know, that whole thing, like they want to be able to help and support you.

But it's kind of like, you know, just don't do it. And it's like, okay, that's not helpful. Like, how do I get out of this? And it's, it's kind of like, you know, so you try to keep things pretty, you try to make it so that there's just not any kind of like outward expression of your addiction. And it's just such a, it just leads to that guilt and shame spiral, but also it makes it so that people don't think that you need help. Yeah.

And I think it furthers us into isolation. Because a lot of people, when they first start drinking, it's social. For a lot of people, social, clubs, bars, whatever this. seen maybe ours parties, football games, Sundays, but a lot of people you hear towards the tail end of things drinking at home alone. And I think that's a big part of it is that we don't want to kind of be found out. I mean, I did my best drinking alone. I wouldn't go over to my buddy's places. They're going way too slow. And I didn't want to kind of stand out to them, right? Like I'm grabbing three beers from their fridge before they had one. I loved when they came to my place because I

could go out and do whatever. I could sneak around a little bit better. They weren't counting the beers and they would always run out. Like they would run out. I'm like, guys, you can't buy any more than six beers. So I think it forced me into that too. And I think a lot of other people it forces us into that. Plus, we're drinking too much to be maybe driving, you know, all the time as I was anyway. I was just drinking too much and just getting in trouble. And one time I hit a parked car and I've really learned lessons really, really the hard way. Yeah. So yeah, it becomes like that at home type thing. September 27, 2018, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Which is great. Incredible job. What, I'm really curious here. I mean, what's got you inspired to really share your story? It's very personal story. So there was, there were a lot of years that, like, I mean, the people who were closest to me were like, you have to, like, your story would help other people. And so I found, I found kind of like six pieces of like, and now I call them like the six pillars.

And I use them with my clients. I use them with, you know, in my book. And it's like food, fitness, fun, fellowship, sleep, and faith that really kind of came together and helped me have, have a sense of peace and calm and just made it so that my sobriety wasn't just something that I had to do. It was like this process that led to a life 2.0 that was just beyond everything, anything I ever even imagined. And it made it so that it was not just easier and made more, it made health become the priority rather than just like, you know, it made me want to be a better me.

And it kind of gave me the tools, whether it was, you know, trying to eat better food so that I felt better about myself or sleeping better, you know, made it so that I had a rhythm throughout the day that made, you know, that made sense. There were all, everything kind of came together in this beautiful way. And so over the course of a couple years and writing this book and trying to kind of put pieces together and then everything came together and it was like, okay, it's time to launch. But I had also been like using these tools with clients who were like thriving and having awesome success and it was like, oh my gosh, this is a formula that works. And so if like I said, all throughout, if there's even one person who can hear my story or read the book or anything

and be able to say like, okay, that gives me hope or that gives me an idea or that inspires me and take the first step, whatever the case might be, that's the whole goal because it's like there's always hope and you're never stuck. And there's, you know, there's so many different ways that we can get out of those situations where it just feels like, oh my gosh, there's no way out. Yeah, that's beautiful. That is so great. I think even too with the domestic violence situation you went through, I could kind of relate in a sense of how addiction feels, right? I mean, two totally different things, but maybe in one way or another, we end up at the same place. don't see a way out that makes any sense.

And it's almost interesting because I've been connecting with people recently on the podcast. And I get messages all day, every day from people that are like, I don't know if I'll ever be able to figure it out. I don't know if I'll ever be able to. And I keep coming back to this one thought. You know, the day before September 27th,

let's call it the 26th. Were there any thoughts that the 27th, that next day you would quit drinking? No, no. And that's kind of the whole. run of why I think this is so kind of interesting is because to the one person who feels like today, September 11th, we're recording it on or whenever you listen, you feel like today you're still drinking and you're never going to get it.

Yeah. Dude. A lot of us, I don't know if none of us did, but a lot of us didn't know the day that we quit drinking was going to be the day. I've never thought of that. That is amazing. Yeah. That, that, I have chills.

That is such an amazing and inspiring thought that, yeah, I mean, it could be any day. And it's always possible. It's always possible. Like, and that's the thing. The more testimonies you hear to me, that was like, I just, I couldn't get enough of like, yes, tell me your success story. Tell me about how it was like this aha moment. Tell me about how it was this suddenly moment.

Tell me about how it was like, you totally were in like despair. And then all of a sudden, all of a sudden. And it's just beautiful when you, when you can get the inspiration and like the, just having hope. I swear the having hope thing is such a big, it's such a big piece. Yeah, that's a massive piece. Just to head towards wrapping things up. I'm wondering too, because relationships have kind of been something, you know, that have been Rocky maybe for you, if that's the right word for it in your life. How do you go about things differently? I mean, in your sobriety and in life, and is there anything you've really learned about yourself that you're like, hey, I go into things or,

or yeah. Any thoughts there? Okay. So, so, so. It's amazing to have, I have healthy friendships. I have a healthy support network that I love. I have people who I love from church. I have girlfriends who I know from, you know, hobbies. I have girlfriends who I know from my neighborhood. And I have, you know, this amazing, healthy romantic relationship. There are so many different ways that I have progressed in being able to develop

healthy relationships that didn't have an unhealthy or toxic component. but I had to be by myself and I had to date myself and I had to really learn so much more about social dynamics and about myself. Like I was an unhealthy component that just wasn't going to be a healthy component of any relationship for a really long time until I started to like myself, figure out who I wanted to be around, you know, just so many different things. And where I am now is such a stark contrast. One of my girlfriends, you know, calls it, she says, you know, that we get clarity in the contrast.

And I think that's so beautiful because I think of the relationships I had before sobriety or even, even in my early sobriety. And I think about where I'm at now and the people who I surround myself with, myself with. And they're wonderful people. And they make me smile. They make me happy. But I can also talk to them about real things. they know me just like how you were talking about like these are my people like these are my people like i i surround myself you know like we've all struggled with addiction a majority of the people

who i have in my life have either either dealt with it themselves or dealt with it in their family and it's you know it's beautiful when you can have people who you can be real with you can be your authentic self with you don't have to worry about somebody judging you or it's just amazing yeah no i love that yeah i think that's a good point to hit home there too is that to have better relationships, maybe sometimes we have to look in the mirror and work on ourselves a little bit and kind of have that time out from relationships, whether they be romantic or whether they just be having a ton of friends. You know, I mean, for a lot of people that changes in sobriety too, you know, I mean, kind of the alcohol world is a bunch of acquaintances

and a bunch of people you mean. And, you know, but like sobriety, I find for me anyway, it's, it's not that big massive group of people like that's a lot of bandwidth um for me at times too to have all of these friends and going in a million different directions to to end things here too you had mentioned earlier you know getting into this journey didn't really know who you were your identity and i hear that people talk about that they lose themselves you know somewhere along the line right i lost myself too somewhere along the line of who i was before all this and everything what would you say to somebody today if they asked you like who is brit yeah if somebody asked me about myself or about how to find themselves about yourself oh my gosh i think i for the first time in

my life i think that i i enjoy being around myself you know i mean i know that i love to cook and i love good food but i love lazy days i'm a great worker i you know i'm like i love my kids my kids are my world I love the people in my life. I enjoy every single one of the pillars that I've used for successful sobriety. I embrace every single day. And they give me joy and they bring me peace and they help me love my life so much every day. I mean, I'm so grateful and so thankful for every day that I get to live this life. And it's just, and every time I think it can't get any better, it does.

And that's the kind of, you know, but it's all from this. crazy life that looked like it was like there was no escape and there was no hope and it was just rock bottom and then it's like here we are you know just a couple just a couple short years later and i'm saying to you that like my life is beyond anything i ever expected or imagined and that's beautiful yeah that is so beautiful last question for you if somebody's listening to the episode they're struggling to get or stay sober what would you mention to them have hope reach out to somebody, you know, just have hope and start thinking about where you want to see your life go. Because I think that was one of the things that really helped me was like, this can't be it.

Like we can't, this can't be it. Like it's just you can't have alcohol or drugs and have the life that you want. So it's kind of. And I think the answer is different for everybody. So it's, it's, you know, as much as. And look at, like, I mean, I didn't want the life that I had and it took a DUI and an ankle bracelet and a breathalyzer and 90 meetings and 90 days. You know, like a year of crazy chaos to be able to get me to a point of clarity where it was like,

okay, now you can take this ankle monitor off. You can take that breathalyzer out and maybe I'll be able to put one foot in front of the other and be okay. But until that point, I don't think without those things in place, those bumpers in the bowling alley or whatever. I don't think, I don't know if I would have been able to do it. So just being able to reach out for help. To me, it was like, and it's probably not people closest to you.

That's the thing I would say. Reach out to somebody who is not family or friends. Like you need to talk to somebody that you can be real about and tell them how bad things really are. Because I think that's a key. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I think that is, I posted this thing up on Instagram about strangers are going to take it. I think that if you're out there and you're thinking of that one question, you know,

because I had that thought all the time of waking up and the same promises I made and same broken promises and same hurting people and hurting myself. And I had that question in one way or another many times. Like, is this going to be life? And I think if we don't do anything different, it will be. Thank you so much, Britt. Anything else you want to mention before we scoot? I would say also utilize resources like this.

Listen to people's testimonies. Listen to people's tips and tricks and techniques and things that have worked for them. Because I think as a community, we are so much stronger together. Do you know what I mean? Like we can build each other up. We can listen. We can help each other. We can try to troubleshoot issues.

Like surround yourself with the people who you want to be like. And, you know, just make it till you make it. Yeah. I was going to say, what about the book too? I mean, did you want to mention that at all? I know you have a little bit. Yeah. So she rises and thrives.

and thrives, loving life and recovery. It's all about those six pillars. So it's food, fitness, fun, fellowship, faith, and sleep. And I mean, I swear by them. And it's, they're free. They're free to all of us. And, you know, this book kind of breaks it down. I've been a health coach for over 23 years. I've worked with over 10,000 women worldwide. And it's like all of the things that I've used with them, with myself, being able to be successful in sobriety, I funneled right into this book. And so far, the reviews and feedback have been awesome. And I just want to be able to help hurting women around the world be able to have hope. So that's the goal. Yeah. All righty, Britt, thank you so much. I'll drop the link too if anybody wants to check it out. I'm guessing on Amazon.

I mean, is that where you buy books at these days? Okay. Yeah, absolutely. All right, beautiful. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for having me on. I really appreciate this time. Well, there it is. Another incredible episode here on the podcast. Huge shout out to Brick. Great job with everything. And thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us. I'll drop Brits contact information down in the show notes below. And I'll see you on the next one.