Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - David Wilson aka Sober Dave struggled with alcohol for 40 years

Episode Date: November 10, 2022

Sober Dave struggled with alcohol for most of his life. He knew something had to change and it did. Check out the episode to hear how Dave turned around his life and is now helping others to do the same.    Grab your free sober tracker app: Click to download   Follow Dave: Follow Dave On IG Check out Dave's book: One for the Road: Soberdave on Amazon :  https://www.amazon.com/One-Road-Soberdave-David-Wilson/dp/1739785096    

Welcome to Season 1 of the Sober Motivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible one story at a time. Let's go. Dave took a few too many for the road over his 40-year drinking career. Dave's mother left a family home when he was 14 and he got involved with a new crew. Dave found alcohol would help him numb his emotional, On today's episode, we have Dave Wilson, also known as Sober Dave.

We need to talk about alcohol recovery in the workplace. Talking about sobriety and proving it to your employer can be so difficult. And our friends at Soberlink want to help. If you need a reliable way to present documented proof of sobriety to a boss or loved one, Soberlink can help. Soberlink is a high-tech portable breathalizer system that uses facial recognition technology to verify identity. has unique sensors to ensure that no other air sources are being used and sends results directly to your specified contacts. So there is no questioning whether or not you took the test

or whether or not you altered the reporting. This is why Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system is considered the gold standard. Being in recovery from alcohol does not define the future of your career. Let Soberlink help. Learn more about Soberlink and request an exclusive $50 off promo code by visiting Soberlink.com slash recovery. Welcome back, everybody, to episode number six of the Sober Motivation podcast.

Today we got my good buddy, Dave Wilson. You probably know him as Sober Dave. How are you doing today, buddy? Hello, Brad. I'm doing well, mate, and it's so good to see you, mate. And I really appreciate you coming on to share your story. So why don't we get started off at the beginning? Yes, mate.

I grew up in a place. in England called Croydon, which is south of London. And, you know, it was a typical childhood, not a lot of money about, my parents didn't really drink that much. My dad used to make homemade wine, actually. And with that, you never really knew the percentage or whatever. So on a Saturday night, him and my mum might have a few glasses, but I wasn't even really affected by their drinking.

Unfortunately, when I was 14, just turned, my mum. mom left and she didn't even say goodbye she left a note on the table and I got up to go to school and I opened this note and it said Dave I'm leaving your dad I'll be in touch and I didn't hear for a year shortly after that my dad met someone as well and I felt really rejected actually going through my hormones and I didn't know who I was and there was a group of lads at the school that I had avoided previous to that because I was a pretty quiet lad

and they kind of egg me into hanging out with them up the shops you know and they used to give the grown-ups a bit of loose change to go in the off licence and buy four cans of lager and we'd share them and I wasn't really a fighter Brad you know and they were they would

pick a fight of anyone but I was then soon known as the drink up because I would throw them back and what I realized it was a coping mechanism, you know, because I was hurting, I was insecure and that. And I felt like the gang of lads had accepted me in. So I had a place in life. And I started like drinking quite a lot.

And in the UK, back then, you didn't need ID. And we were going into the pub, 14, 15 years old and getting served. And drinking with adults, you know. I used to drink this old London pub called the Skinner's Arms and we used to play pool and darts and chat with their grownups. And I realised then that I took to drink straight away. I loved it. I loved getting drunk.

Back then, probably remember when you first drink, you get the old spinning ceiling when you get into bed and you're throwing up everywhere and that. But that didn't put me off. I was into my sport, mate, and I was a good level of football. So I used to work hard, play hard attitude. But it got to my early 30s and my son was born and me and his mum didn't work out. And I used to drink in this local pub.

And I soon developed the name called Glugs because I used to drink so fast that I could drink six, seven, eight pints in an hour. I pretty much then left it there. I'll go home and have something to eat and go to bed. but it was when I started to buy takeouts from the off licence over the road that my drinking it just spalled out of control because it was their

drinking indoors that really started to wreck me and I wouldn't just buy wheat lager I would buy strong cider so I was having the six, seven pints in the pub getting a few cans of diamond white which was 8.2% back in the day

sitting there getting absolutely absolutely blotto on my own. And I kind of got into that zone, Brad, of pub, go home, get pissed, get up for work, feeling like crap. Pub, go home, get piss, get up, you know, like a cycle. I went through hundreds of relationships, it's never worked out because of my drinking. But then, mate, I started to put on quite a lot of weight because the amount of calories that were in all the beer. and everything. So I started Googling, I'm sure a lot of people have done this as well,

what is the least amount of calories in alcohol and up hot vodka? And I'd never really been into spirits ever. Even when I went out, I wouldn't have spirits. It was always pints. So I started like having half bottles of vodka and it didn't even touch the sides. Literally, I'll finish that and half an hour and thinking, what am I going to do now? go back up the shops and it got to a point in my life that I was drinking a litre a night for a long time and again my relationships were all failing because I just couldn't hold one down

but ironically I was holding down my career because I run my own business in the carpet game and I I just kind of modified my life around my drinking it was a little bit of you suited my drinking. So I'd finish early, say on a Friday, I would finish in mid-afternoon, go shopping, get my stashing for the whole weekend, knowing that I wouldn't leave the house as soon as I shut the door. It would be three liters of vodka, steleys, wine, I would eat as well. I wasn't one of those drinkers that would never eat. And I'll crawl out of my door on a Monday morning, virtually on all fours, like dying, where I had completely had a booze fest.

And then I got a gig on a TV show over in the UK, which is one of these makeover shows. And I panicked Brad because I thought, now can I keep this up, this drinking? Because I was properly hooked into it, right? And I was really panicking. and I went for the interview at ITV and I got the job and they said right you need to drive up to country Monday morning and we started the show right that night we finished the show and we all went out and they they were maniacs they drank like fish all the all the handy men you know so I thought yes I'm in here so I never had a break to be honest Brad like I went I don't remember my 40s and that sounds dramatic but I don't I might I've lost a decade of my life and that every day i think about that and i and i went into my 50s and i got married and i i just carried on mate it it was a disaster so during the time of the pubs you were going to the pub every day yeah every single day and getting drunk every day as well yeah is that a big

is that a culture thing there in the uk massively yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah, and weekends as well, the pubs open at midday, and people queue up at the doors for the land, or to one bolt the door, you'll hear it come down. And I used to go in there on a Sunday at 12, and then I used to do the whole session till half ten that night. And there were families coming in lunchtime, going home, doing their own thing, coming back in the evening,

and I'd still be in there. But obviously, ten points later. And they'd be like, Dave, mate, are you all right? Yes. like have a drink and you know and and it was just ridiculous but I will say though Brad the socialising side of it completely finished um in my late 40s because I just I was drinking too much and I didn't want people to see how bad I was so I stopped going out and I just started drinking indoors right so I would never socialise and I become a bit of a recluse and that is

where the solitary drinking really messed with my head because because I had like, I lived in a row of six cottages, and the neighbours loved a party. And they used to invite me to the party a lot, and I'd say, no, I'm out Saturday. I can't go, because I kind of thought, well, I won't be able to drink, but I want to drink that night.

So I used to sit indoors in the dark because I didn't want them to know I was in. So I'd sit behind my sofa with my litre of vodka. It was pathetic, you know, and just neck, neck, neck, until I pass out and crawl up the stairs. So that's why I say alcohol's a cumor to live, mate, because it just went from kind of normal drinking

to massive binging to every day blackout drunk for years and years and years. And somehow I still got up and run my business. You know, it was incredible. I did it. Now I think of it, I don't know how I did it. A lot of people too, myself included, share that story too about it started out as socializing

everything like that. And then it moves into this, this lonely state of where we're just doing stuff because we're just worried about the judgment. We don't want people to mention, you know, like we see other people enjoying things maybe more responsibly than we are. And then we really, for me I was just like wow yeah what I'm doing is not it's not normal at all and you feel like a sense of shame around it too couldn't ever look at anyone in the face like I used to leave early to so when I knew the routine of all the neighbors right so I used to leave 20 minutes early to sit in the van down the road because I didn't want them to see me for them to say to me Jesus mate you look terrible because I knew I looked terrible I felt terrible. I couldn't look in the mirror any morning and somehow doing it through the day.

And as we all know, we get to a certain point after lunch that we start to feel a bit better and then we negotiate. Or maybe I should have one tonight and you talk yourself into it. And once you do that, you've had it. So out comes another leak with vodka. And then within half an hour, I was drunk again because I was topping up. But equally, the measures I were doing, free-pouring was probably eight vodka's in a glass you know um and it's just this constant numbing out numbing out numbing out and i just the more i was doing it the more i was covering up really because i felt so ashamed of myself of where i've gone from this good looking fit athletic 20 something year old bloke into summit i was nearly 130 kg right um my blood pressure the doctor said you could just

drop down dead my cholesterol was sky high. I was on antidepressants. I was on acid reflux tablets. It was a absolute, it was a slow suicide, mate, to be honest. Yeah. No, that's exactly. That's what it sounds like. What, so was there anything that happened where this, where it really progressed from like the pubs to being at home? Was there any events in your life or this was just a course it took? well the first thing was my mum leaving and it was when me and my son's mum separated I felt terrible because he was only two and I played a big part in his upbringing you know I was his football manager and whatever but I still felt bad but I'm masked that with just

boozing it up you know some nights even slept in the van but it was just I think I kind of it would be easy for me to say and then this happened that happened but it wasn't like that I gradually slipped into

really enjoying being numb to be honest like I found this comfortability about I felt safety in being really drunk because it was like no one understood me

I didn't understand me but when I was drunk there was a certain feeling of comfortability about it and I can't even and articulate it properly really. But, and then I felt I've gone too far and I was just hooked in. I was an addict and there was no way out.

And I didn't think I could get out of it, to be honest, Brad. And it was a succession of different things that happened in my marriage. My wife then had cancer and went through that twice. And I just looked at myself one day and I thought, mate, you are going to be dead. like pretty soon if you carry on me. My son then was 25, I think. And I just, I'd had enough, mate, to be honest. And I got a text from a really good friend, actually.

And he just said one morning I was hung over, obviously. And he just put it to me, how do you feel like giving up drinking with me for three months? And I burst out laughing, mate, because I didn't be I could do three days, you know. But it sank in. It was like epiphany for me. It was like the right timing. And towards the end of the day, I was like, I wonder why it would, how would my life look like in three months?

How would I feel like emotionally, physically? And I went around the saw and I shook his hand. And that was the last time ever had drink the night before that, you know. And sometimes a bit of a funny side of me wonders what my last drink was because I don't remember it. It wasn't planned. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, I can relate to that too. That was sort of the thing for me is that it was just the one thing where enough was enough. I had to make changes. I wanted to make changes. I didn't know how. I didn't know how I was going to, you know, with drugs or alcohol. I didn't know how things were going to play out. But I just knew I had this vision, this weird vision of where I would be.

I knew people around me who carried on with it for a while. still do. And I just saw this vision of like, that's not what I want to do. And it's not where I want to be. And then I just thought, I mean, you got to give it up. I knew at some point in my life, I would be faced with having to give this up, drugs and alcohol. At some point in my life, I don't know, it just clicked one day where, and I had been to, you know, treatment center, detox center, you know, meetings, celebrate recovery. I had done a lot of interventions over the year of therapy ever since I could remember when I was just small. I was going to see psychiatrists, a doctor's, medication, and Adderall, ADHD, and been a ton of interventions in my life.

But I think all of that stuff worked and it all kind of came together at one point too. But a lot of people asked, like, well, what was it? I don't know if it was really one thing, which is maybe a build up of stuff over time and I was ready to kind of get it in my own way. Like I was keeping myself stuck and I would wake up these days like you mentioned around 12 o'clock, you start to feel better. But when you first wake up in the morning, you're like, that's it. You know, and then five years goes by of every morning, that's it. No more.

And by lunchtime, you have something to eat and you're getting excited for the next round, right? Yeah, and I think there's a thing. I think Annie Grace's dad gave up just like that. And there's a name for it. It's spontaneous sobriety, right, where you just give up. And it's easy to say that's what happened to me, but it wasn't because I was saying to myself for months before that, I know I've got to sort this out. I know I've got to do something about it.

And that trickled in, you know, it built up and up, as you say. and subliminally, I think that gave me the strength. That day when I received that text, which could be a call out from the universe or whatever you believe in, right? And that day, I said, that is it. I'm never drinking again. And I haven't. And I've been through some crap, mate.

Trust me, that could have easily sent me down that road. But I've built up resilience and strength. I've learned so much about the drug. and a coach as well. So I'm accountable to lots of people like you are. You know, you talk to so many people and accountability keeps me on a straight road. And to be fair, mate, I don't want to anyway.

I couldn't think of anything worse of pouring that down my neck now. But I know too much about it. That's powerful right there. We talked about that and a couple other the guests that have been on the podcast. Once you know you have this information, Like a lot of people, they start out with reading books. You start learning about what's going on, how it affects your body, all the marketing involved, everything.

It's a very elaborate system to get us hooked on drinking and hooked on feeling like we need in our life. And if it's not, we're missing out on something. Yeah. And we're made to feel like that as well. You know, like there's that saying in there that's the only drug we have to justify not having, right? And, you know, I did a post today about it, about the advertising campaigns of how how it puts all the onus on us, like drink responsibly slogan on the bottles.

It's like, oh, so it's down to us to sort that out when you've literally throwing it all over the world on advertising, sports, TV, cinema, buses, you know, it's absolutely everywhere you look. Supermarkets should go in. there's, I went in one the other day and there's a huge square arch with gin and tonic for Christmas and you're walking in with your kids and it's hitting you straight in the faces as soon as you go in there, you know, it's absolutely everywhere. And when you tell someone that you're, you're stopping it's like, what, what are you doing? What are you doing? And it, you know, the, it's the stigma around

it is terrible. And that's why we need to keep banging the drum like we all do on the gram. Yeah, yeah, on the gram. I love. that. What was what were people's reaction around you when you were like I'm done? Well, my real friends were really brilliant, but there was a few that didn't believe it and I don't blame them because I was a monster, like an absolute monster. And even two years on, I saw a guy and he ended up in intensive care for about two months because of his drinking. And he said to me, you never give up drinking. And I said, well, I'm two years now, sober, and he went, yeah, whatever. And I said, mate, you look terrible. Like,

are you okay? You know, like in complete denial. But I always say, Brad, like, it fills out your real friends. Like, if people support you and are with you on this, it's your real friends. If they, if you start losing touch with them, and because they don't want to go out with you, because they think you're boring and that, well, they're just drinking buddies, right? They've never been your real friend and that's okay. I've met so many people since I've got sober all over the world like yourself. You know, I've done those live affonds, a 15-hour one that I did from Australia, Canada, America, everywhere, you know, real genuine people that have got your back that like you

and me, we reach out outside the Instagram thing and chat and, you know, it's an amazing community that we're in and it's real and people are genuine and I always say it's like a rebirth us and sobriety it's like we've shed that skin like a snake

and we're starting again we've for me it was 40 years of drinking right and when I stopped I almost went back to the 14 year old boy standing there

with his mum had left him and his dad had met someone else because I I blocked out my life from that moment, right? Of something I thought was fun in the beginning, but in the end it became a complete coping mechanism for me. And I almost had to develop emotionally again from that age of learning how to deal with, sitting with emotions and handle responsibility without blunting it out and stuff.

and it's been an incredible adventure, really. I've learned so much about myself as well. That's beautiful. What would you say for people just starting out on their journey who are worried about how it's going to look? Well, everyone's different, right? But I generally say, you know, it can start with today, like day one, right? And get through the day.

We all heard the thing one day at a time, right? and that's that's good advice and just get through the end of the day but planning as well set out a proper like you would a weekly planner because you can't wing this thing you when when you've got I call them the opening hours right so when people start to drink say it's 5pm till 8 p.m is their sort of troubled area remove yourself from that association go and do something different right it's like like the danger zone where the sirens are going off at half four you've got that dopamine hit of oh can have a drink soon you know the bar opens and all of a sudden it's woo woo like all the alarms are going off and that go out have a walk go to the gym go and have a

shower and get into bed and watch your Netflix film or just take yourself at the situation but also be honest with your friends don't get caught red-handed going out for a drink and they say have a beer mate no i'm not drinking oh shut up mate and they hand a pint in your hand do you know what i mean and then you're worried oh all right then i'll start again tomorrow planning is absolutely everything stay positive as well because it after all it's everything to gain in this this sobriety thing it's everything to gain uh if you go down the victim road it's easy to fall off then because like oh why am i the only one who can't drink well trust me you're not and you're brave and honest enough to admit you've got a problem of it.

So be proud of that. And also reach out to the community because there's so many amazing people that can support you out there, you know, that I've been through what you're going through now. And don't look too far ahead because it's so easy to say, well, what about Christmas and what about New Year? And then it's my birthday. And then we're going on holiday.

And then it's Easter. There's always something, right? So just one day at a time, plan it out properly, remove yourself from the association, and be positive. And then it all becomes so possible. I always love that the one day at a time too. It just keeps things in perspective and just keeps it like for today. It can get overwhelming if we're thinking about Christmas and birthdays and everything else. but we'll cross that bridge when we get there we're not there yet and we'll figure it out and you'll be in a

different place then as well because you'll be a few weeks or months or you know it's like an apprenticeship you do it and then you have more training by then you know so you'd be able to deal with it so you know the one day of time and do you know what brad since i'm sober i do that in life now anyway because we all have bad days right and i've had a couple of bad days and i thought right get through the day and wake up tomorrow and it could be different and quite often it is. So I use that mantra quite a lot in life anyway now and it works. Yeah, no, it's a powerful one for sure. Powerful one for sure.

What's been some challenges and how have you worked through them in your sobriety, some things that have come up in life? Well, unfortunately, I'm going for a separation now. which is really sad, but that's life sometimes. And I've spent a lot of time on my own. I've had to move. I've had to relocate areas. I've had to manage things financially.

And where I moved, there were seven, eight pubs within walking distance of me. And they were pretty lovely little pubs, you know, like old-fashioned pubs. but as I said before Brad, there's nothing gained in me drinking again, right? But it's really forced me to deal with situations that I've found really uncomfortable and it's brought up lots of things from the past, my insecurities, my capabilities,

in relationships, but all my decisions have been made with clarity, right? And if I'd have drank then, I'd have made some wrong decisions, I'd have upset a lot of other people and it would have been a car crash. And again, I've been thinking that every day like, just be real with yourself, Dave. Like, things will get better. They will improve.

And stay true to yourself because these breakups are common things, you know, like I think lockdown as well, that's had a big impact in relationships and people's financial situations it happens right but i'm dealing with it and you know it's another tick box for me it's like i'm coming up to four years in a few weeks now and it proves this journey's never linear right because it's you don't like pass go after a year and go oh i've cracked it now you know i know people after 15 20 years have fallen off the wagon right so you have to be mindful all the time and you have to work it, which I do. But it's

growth for me as well, because I am growing mentally. I'm coming through this and I'm feeling stronger. And I'm learning so much more about myself in these vulnerable situations. And the fact I'm not drinking is a huge part of that as well,

you know, because it would just go completely crazy if I did. I'd lose everything now. Yeah, I mean, sobriety definitely becomes the backbone, what keeps everything else together for us. One of the things, too, that sobriety offers us is like what you just mentioned is that we're able to process these events and deal with these events. As before, for me anyway, I would just have something happen, slip off into drinking, drugging, and never deal with stuff. You know, never deal with it for months or years, whether it be bills or relationships or, you know, just not even be willing to get uncomfortable to face these situations. So even though it is maybe more difficult in recovery, like I don't know if it always is.

But it's so freeing that we can say like this is how things are going and also show up and be willing to work through it and not just numb and avoid it. I really love that. Where you're actively working through this is amazing. And, and mate, I've got the help of an amazing therapist as well, and I'm not ashamed to say that. You know,

like I've been seeing him for seven years now, and I have him weekly, and he helps me with that process. And, you know, I work hard at that. I, you know,

before I would have had therapy and then gone and got drunk and forgotten what he'd said. So now all the work that we do together as well, that's like always looking at it like snow cone and you shake it up, right? And then it settles and then you can see it for what it is. And that's how I look at therapy alongside with the long times that I sit there with my feelings in quiet. You know, I'm not always blocking out with loud music and dancing around. I'm sitting there quite miserable a lot of the time. But it's growth, mate.

And I know it is part of my journey on sobriety is to come through. You know, it's it's never, ever, ever straightforward. And I look at this as a gift in a way that I've, I've got this in my life. So that propel me forward with whatever I'm going to do in the future. Oh, so you don't know what you're going to do in the future yet? I ain't got a clue, mate. I've done quite a few things already.

And I'm not, I think I need to come out to Canada, mate. and see me old buddy. Yeah, come, yeah, come to Canada, buddy for sure, man. We can, we'll hang out. We'll do a live podcast, everything like that. What is your life like now in recovery? I know we've touched on it, but let's just kind of go back to that first day.

You get the message. You decide, did you have any withdrawal symptoms? Well, I'll always talk about this. That really I should have gone to the doctor because the amount I was drinking was dangerous to just stop. right but that's me all over right i'm all or nothing uh and i've right i'm never drinking again and so i went from drinking all that stuff to nothing overnight um and i didn't have any seizures or anything like that and i i had to shakes and i was sweating and the first week was difficult

but it was a bit like having flu for me you know uh but i was so positive about it i just got through it it was like get up and i work really hard as well i was in the carpet trade then which was physically demanding. So I used to work it off, go home. I got into Breaking Bad at the beginning because I needed something to focus my mind on. So I would have a shower and I'd get into bed about bloody our past five, six,

and watch two episodes of Breaking Bad and then get up, holler about and then go back to bed. So it wasn't too bad in the beginning, but it was a few months later where the boredom sat in and it's a bit like the honeymoon period, isn't it? the pink cloud and all the novelty rubs off and people start to accept you not drinking and then I was like oh god but I kind of remembered how far I come already and I wrote it all down I did some journaling and I thought right I've been to this event I've done that I've done that I've lost

a few pounds I look better I feel better my anxiety has gone down my productivity it works bigger blah, blah, blah. And once I put it in front of me, I thought, well, it's a no-brainer. Why would I, you know, stop messing about in your head by thinking you're bored, do something instead? So I gave myself a kick up the ass a few times. You know, I've done a few things since then with my life that I would have never done if I was drinking. Yeah, I love that. Then the journaling, too, seeing what things were like and to see how much more productive.

I mentioned another show. quitting drinking is like one of the very few things that you can start to see like amazing results right away because you just wake up every day you just feel terrible the anxiety is just through the roof your heart rate is just blasted you don't feel good you have everything else going on you're not dealing with anything in life you're just getting by and then you give it up a couple days into it you start to feel better early on too though I realized that was really bored because drinking and everything else just took up so much time. That's it, mate.

You've got to be creative. And there's a million things you can do. But when we're drinking, it takes up all our brain space, right? And as soon as you stop, you have all this free area to think about new things, right? And, you know, it's, I've done so many things since I've given up drinking that I would never have done. and it's completely changed everything for me in a million ways, actually. When you do them, do you still feel uncomfortable? I know you've done like a boat, a boat party.

You've done some events like with the sober community. Yeah, I've done some events, which is something I'd never have done, because the first event I went to changed my life because I met a load of sober people. And I thought, God, damn normal, because when I was drinking, I thought the usual narrative of sober people are all boring and blah blah but and I thought

well why not hold my own event so I did one in the September after I got sober I rode my bike from London to Paris over three days as well and then after that I randomly thought do you know what I might do my own podcast

and that and literally three weeks later a bit like you Brad three weeks later I bought all the gear and I got my first guest on and I recorded it and I met my friend Danny who's a producer she knocked it out

and it went to number four in the Apple charts in the UK and it was like wow what is this and now I've done I think 60 episodes of my podcast and I've interviewed people from all over the world and a bit like this one mate

I let people tell their story because people relate to it and that's what they like. You know, I don't say too much on the podcast. I let them speak. And I'm on season eight starting next week and that's changed everything

because like you get messages from people all over the world. Your podcast has changed everything for me because I can really identify to one of your guest story or whatnot. And then of course, my book, right, the irony of that,

me writing my book is that in the pubs when I was drunk, I had a catchphrase and it was always I could write a book about this one day and I have.

And I'm really proud of it, like, because it's a memoir stroke, self-help, stroke motivational book, you know? And all the reviews now are saying

that is different from one of the other books, right? because it's, I'm very honest about what I did. And also, I'm a coach as well. So I, there's a lot of tips in there. And also at the end, I wanted people to put the book down and go, do you know what, I'm going to give it a go.

And that was my main reason for the book. And it's been out a few weeks now. There's that saying in there, you don't meet a sober person who regrets. It's been sober ever. There's no one in the one. Yeah, once you experience sort of the freedom that it offers. How did you feel writing this book, putting everything down for the world to possibly see? It was really difficult, Brad.

It was really difficult. It brought up a lot of feelings from my childhood, to be honest. I cried. I laughed. I was nervous. and when it was launched, I had the usual trolls out there,

whoever they were, giving it a one-star review, whatnot. And my mental wealth that week was shocking. Trust me, it was like, oh my God,

I've put out a real pot. But since then, I've had loads of five-star reviews and loads of lovely emails and that. But it was cathartic as well, Brad. Putting it down on paper and articulating how it was for me, was like, you know what we're saying about the power of journaling?

You couldn't get more powerful than writing your own story in a book, right? But mixed with that was all the knowledge that I've learned from my coaching, you know, how to talk to people, how to learn their love language so you can work with them because every single one of us got our own individual relationship with alcohol. It might look the same that we all drink. this, but it's off the back of a whole lifetime of our own stuff going on as well. So I try and get out in the book, talk a lot about gray air red drinking. There's a whole chapter by Sarah Drage on Children of Alcoholic, which is really powerful.

At the end of it, when I finished it, it was like, bloody hell. And now what it's done, Brad, it's left me with I'm not sure what's next. But that's okay, though, you know, because I do believe in it. universe and i do believe that whatever is next will come along when it's ready you know and in the minute maybe this is just a time for me to chill out sit with you talking like this and put my feet up a bit and then the door and knock one day and another opportunity to come and that's what happens in sobriene it clears the decks yeah and it uh allows you space in your life yeah it that's funny you bring that up but i'm glad we got you on the podcast here before

you go big time because then I'll have to deal with the PR and everybody else. I'm glad we got you here now. But that is a huge thing and I hear that over and over again. And it's definitely my experience is that sobriety offers so many opportunities. I never really envisioned for the amount of opportunities that it has offered. And I feel like it's sort of an energy thing that's out there, that you're available. And when you're, when you're drinking and drugging, you're not available. You don't have the free time.

You don't have the other time. You don't have the focus. You don't show up for what you're supposed to show up for all the time. You're not reliable. Like, I wasn't. I wasn't reliable. I was living on my brother's couch. I wasn't reliable at all.

I wasn't responsible. And I feel like that energy when we put it out there and sobriety that we're ready, where we, I say yes to everything. This is like maybe not the best thing. But when I was doing the other stuff, I was afraid. Like when you first got the opportunity on the TV show, I would say yes to stuff. And then I was so anxious, so nervous for it not to go as I plan, my expectations on things. Therefore, I would just start saying no to stuff of different opportunities.

But in sobriety, I just let the cards fall where they're going to fall. Same with this podcast. We talked. Next week, we have a podcast. And it's been getting great feedback so far from people. It's incredible. But it's just doing stuff and figuring it out as you go. But I never did that for years in my life.

No. I really get that what you say about the energy, right? Because when I was drinking, I was looking at the floor all the time. I was just looking at the floor, like in my doom, pity story do you know what I mean and when I stopped drinking I ripped the blinkers off and I looked up and I saw the sky I saw the sun I saw the autumn leaves you know and I and I saw so much of life that I hadn't even seen or looked at right and with that gave me a real feeling of empowerment and whatever and then things started to people saying oh do you mind doing a

piece for the telegraph in London and do you mind this to my it's like wow there's some real power on this and the power of helping other people really help me, you know. And like your podcast, my podcast, people hearing stories helps them. Makes you feel good, right? All the positive feedback you get, you're thinking, well, I'm doing a good job here. And I could not just help the person with the drinking. That helps the families of the person drinking and the kids. And the knock-on effect is massive, life-changing for so many people. not just the drinker. And that's got to make you feel good, right? Yeah, no, for sure. For sure, it does. And I think people really enjoy hearing stories because when I was doing stuff,

and I don't know about you, but I never knew other people around me that were sober. I never knew that it was possible for so long. I never knew that it was, it was even really a thing. I mean, I would go to 12-step meetings and, you know, court-ordered stuff where I would have to go. and show up and get a paper sign. But I just didn't get connected with it. And then now it's like people really are empowered by hearing stories. They hear something that they identify with. Man, Sober Dave just shared something on my story.

If it's possible for him, then maybe I could do it. Or I'm really struggling. And Sober Dave's going through this stuff. If he can get through it, maybe I can do it. So I think it's just really empowers people. Yeah. it does and you know the more honest you can be about it the better it is because people relate and that's why I do share it waltz and all you know if I'm having a bad spell on my sobriety I'll say it

because it's real right it's not all fluffy clouds and you know glowing skin some days you can have some proper shit moments where you're like holding onto the bloody table like but it's real and that's what people relate to. That's what I'll find anyway. And that's being authentic throughout your journey is what people hook into. And they think, God, that, you know, that I can relate to that. And that helped me to move forward with it. And people, you know, if they try and they don't succeed the first time, get up again,

brush yourself down, learn from it. You know, it's not a one-win race. you've got to look at it like again like an apprenticeship and think okay what caused me to slip up this time i must remember that i must remember not to do it uh and then this time ran i might be okay like i know people 10 15 times they've tried to stop and then they stop and they say something just clicked and that's it hasn't just clicked it's all the work they've done before that and that it's all come together yeah that's powerful to too. I tried many times, but I mean, 15 would probably be a low number of days where I tried to

figure things out. And yeah, I mean, after a while, it all came together. I mean, maybe wish it was sooner, but I mean, it served its purpose and like the whole universe thing and the energy thing and the spiritual stuff. I, you know, kind of follow. Just sort of have this belief that everything happens for a reason and it happens at the right time and it's not always to my liking and don't always enjoy that part but i have to believe that there's something out there for me to make sense of all the madness sometimes so that's powerful what would you say has been your biggest accomplishment in sobriety i would say my podcast really um i i love my podcast i'm really really proud of it and I turn up with no notes nothing. I don't plan. I just say hi Brad,

welcome to my podcast, one for the road. How are you today? And carry on like that, right? Because it's an authentic conversation like we're meeting for coffee. And as I say, I'm on season eight now and I get guests from all over the planet or whether they're flipping got a million followers or 10. It doesn't matter to me. It's about the authentic stories that they bring to the table. And I really love my podcast. I'm obviously proud about my book.

That's something. And it's scary to put that out there. And it's quite new. So, but yeah, my podcast can carry on and on. And we've talked about your podcast. And I will say, mate, I think you've smashed it. I know this is episode six. but you're natural at this mate you are and i wanted to tell you that on this podcast myself

because uh you're brilliant mate thank you dave sober dave how i'm wondering as well everything that you touch is called one for the road why well it's the saying over here um that it's always one for the road like if you're in a pub and you've had like three beers each and it's like you've had your three rounds each. It's like, oh, should you have one for the road? And it's an old saying, but also for my podcast, it's one for the road because people might be driving to work. People might be down the gym on the treadmill, you know, so it's one for the road.

So that's where that come from, actually. And that's kind of my brand name with everything now. So, yeah. And there is a deeper meaning to it that I can't. actually, it goes back to the Middle Ages that's saying one for the road. And I will find it out and send you it so you can put it in show notes or something. Okay. Yeah, I love it.

It's beautiful. Dave, do you ever wonder with the way that you were living, how you're still living type thing? I know for me, I wonder that sometimes just with all the, everything that went on. I mean, even with that, though, I am extremely grateful for every day. I just don't understand it sometimes and maybe it's just something that's not meant to be understood

no I don't you know probably like you I mean I had a message from someone the other day that I've been supporting for two years now chats here and now on my DMs and it come through and I thought oh here he is I know from him for ages and it was his sister

on his account and she said I'm really sad to say that he died and he was 38 years old and I was gutting because I went back through the conversations, you know, and it's like, bloody hell, mate. Like, you really, he did really, really try it, and it got him in the end.

And this is why I get so angry around alcohol on that with the marketing and the advertising and never show that side of things ever. It's all party, party, have fun, you know, and we see the real shit end of it. And you know, that thing, once you know, know and like yourself I know a lot and hear a lot and see a lot as well and it's devastating it's a devastating drug yeah so true and yeah i got mess i've gotten messages before like that too and

yeah you go back through and you just wonder about the conversation and then a thing seemed to be good and then you hear the news and yeah it's hard it's hard for sure because it's it's It just says, it's the reality of him, mate, isn't it? Really? It's the reality. And you know, you can't fix everyone. You can't rescue everyone. And, you know, we've all got our own relationship with it.

And some people can't get out of it, you know, and that's the sad truth of it. Yeah, it definitely is. You know, that's why I, that was a big motivation for this podcast, as I wanted to make something that people could take with them in their pocket. no matter where they were, all they needed was a headphones and a mobile phone, which probably 98% of people take with them everywhere. So they could maybe tune into something and hear something that would, you know, hopefully keep them on track or get them started.

Do you know what, Brad, like it plants a seed, right? That's the thing. Like, it could be one sentence on one podcast that I plant a seed. That could change everything. And that's what's so powerful about them. But one thing, mate, just don't change it to one for the road, right? Because that's mine. Okay, I'll call it.

Roadie. We'll do, we'll do Roady. One for the roadie. Yeah, I, you know, I was even thinking about the title to make it maybe sober as cool, but I think I'm just going to keep it this. I'm just going to write. I didn't put much thought into everything, as you are well aware of, into everything that went on.

I just wanted to put something out there. And, you know, if people enjoy it. people enjoy it and if they don't they don't that's okay that's all i did brad me i i that's all i literally we've been a week of me thinking about it i had the roadcaster pro like you the deck and a mic and whatever and it's like come on exactly like you but most of us drinkers are all enough in people right so and we and we can use that to our advantage as well right because i say to people we use your bloody all into your sobriety right smash that And, you know, it's been fascinating with your journey of this, this podcast, because we had the

conversation about what might, what deck, whatever, and literally, even about a week, it's out there. I thought, that's my boy who's just like me. Yeah. You know, I try to be relentless with it the best I can too, because I understand what, what we're dealing with on the other side of things too, right? But, yeah, I mean, I love to create. I love to create.

I see the power in people's stories. And not only for the audience, but the people sharing their story, it creates a real level of empowerment. I'll see people share their story. They get some new followers. And then the next thing you know, they're sharing more and more.

And it's just people are connecting with it. People are relating with it. People are picking them up. Because even in sobriety recovery, we still struggle too. So I love to see the community come around the person sharing their story on their first day. You know, I shared someone's story and I think they were, it was maybe one or two or 10 days sober. And I kind of hummed and hard.

Like, is this a story I'm going to share? And I said, you know what? Everybody deserves to have their story shared. I'm not a gatekeeper to decide who gets to share their story. I shared it. And I mean, it just blew up. And I did get some comments and some messages from people, you know, saying that, wasn't appropriate and well i mean that's okay like not everybody felt that way a few people

did and in thousands of people were like this incredible but i think that's a very important story to share and i don't get the chance to very often because people don't share that for day one i think it's a very important story to share to say hey like people are starting day one today like there's going to be thousands of people in the world that today is their first day and i'm really proud of it No, mate, I 100% agree with you there. It's not all about the people that are five years sober and they're massive in the community and people are, wow, they're making a poker.

It is about the normal people that are struggled and they're on day one because there are millions of people that will hear that and go, do you know what, I relate to that story. And if they're doing it, I can do it. And that's the whole message. It's not about all the glory and all the followers and whatnot. it's about the story and a person behind it. So I'm 100% with you on that one.

Yeah, beautiful. Dave, this has been a blast. Sober Dave, one for the road. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. For taking One for the Road with us today on the Sober Motivation podcast. Guys, check out Dave's new book, One for the Road, Dave Wilson, and you can find his podcast, One for the Road as well.

Thank you, Brad. It's been a real, real pleasure, mate. And I was looking forward to this all day. So thanks for having me on. Well, there's the end of another great, amazing episode. Look, I want to see who made it to this part. So the first person who sends me an email to Brad at brad t.macloud.com, MCL-E-O-D. I want to set you up with a free item from the Sobermotivation shop.com website. Also, don't forget to download Sober Buddy. Check your favorite app store to download the app completely free today and enjoy the free tracker. And if you need more step-by-step help with recovery, do your sober buddy challenges. So grateful for Sober Dave to come on today and give us a real good story and a snapshot picture of his life and his struggle with addiction, with alcohol, and where he's at now is incredible. So if you have two seconds, check them out on Instagram at Sober Dave.

Another episode will be dropping on Monday. Don't forget if you're enjoying the podcast, leave a review on your favorite podcasting platform. And from me, Brad, thank you and extremely grateful for everybody who's given this podcast a chance. Until Monday, we'll talk soon.