Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - For 20 years, alcohol was Glen’s solution to life. For Glen, the denial was tough to break through, but when he did, he found he was ready.

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Glen spent a big chunk of his life, around 20 years, drinking. This brought a mix of good times and bad times. When Glen was a kid, his parents got divorced, and he ended up living mostly with his dad. He saw some problems in his parents' relationship, which was hard for him as he was growing up. Because of the troubles caused by drinking, Glen reached a point where he had to make a choice. He had to decide if he was okay with ruining his family again just to stick with alcohol. This is the story Glen shares on the Sober Motivation podcast. --------------- 🤔 Follow Glen on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/glenndoughertyjr/ 🚌 Sign up for the Sobriety Struggle Bus Group August 22 @ 8pm EST: https://calendly.com/tarazoe/strugglebus 👉 Sign up for the Big FREE SoberBuddy Zoom September 6th @ 8pm EST: https://mailchi.mp/yoursoberbuddy.com/soberbuddy-free-zoom 📲 SoberMotivation on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermotivation/ 📲 More Information on SoberLink: https://soberlink.com/recovery

Welcome to Season 3 of the Suburmotivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week is my guests and I share incredible, inspiring, and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible one story at a time. Let's go. Glenn spent a big chunk of his life around 20 years drinking. This brought a mix of good times and bad times. When Glenn was a kid, his parents got divorced and he ended up living mostly with his dad.

He saw some problems in his parents' relationship, which was hard for him. as he was growing up. Because of the troubles caused by drinking, Glenn reached a point where he had to make a choice. He had to decide if he was okay with ruining his family again just to stick with alcohol. This is the story Glenn shares on the Subur Motivation podcast. Hey, how the heck is it going, everyone?

It's Brad here. Look, incredible episodes last week, I know. This one is, too. You're going to really love Glenn's story. We really got down into it. and I was super grateful that Glenn came on here and shared it. Look, if you need some extra support, you hear me on the show, talk a lot about Sober Buddy.

My friend Megan with Sober Buddy is hosting a group actually August 22nd. The show goes live tomorrow, so if you catch it in the morning, maybe you could make it to this. 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I'll drop the link in the show notes, or you can send me a message on Instagram. I'll send you the link to sign up that's going to be on Zoom. She's hosting the Sober Struggle Bus.

If you're struggling anywhere in the journey with getting started or you're on the journey and you're struggling, you need some support. Join Megan and everybody else for this group. Also, we have another free Zoom group, which is going to be September 6th at 8 p.m. And I want to invite all of you there. Come and hang out.

I'll be there. The sober buddy team will be there. A bunch of people will be there. I'll drop that link in the show notes or you can add over to Instagram too and I'll put the link in the bio. And in the meantime, check out the start. Sober Buddy app. We've got 10 groups. Plus, there's a bunch more members that are hosting groups on the weekends to connect and stay connected. So head over to your sober buddy.com or check out your sober buddy in the app store. Get plugged into the community. Get some support. You can do this alone, but you don't have to. Getting sober is a lifestyle change. And sometimes a little technology can help. Imagine a breathalizer that works like a habit tracker for sobriety. Soberlink helps you replace bad habits with healthy ones.

weighing less than a pound and as compact as a sunglass case, Soberlink devices have a built-in facial recognition, tamper detection, and advanced reporting, which is just another way of saying it'll keep you honest. On top of all that, results are sent instantly to loved ones to help you stay accountable. Go after your goals. Visit soberlink.com slash recover to sign up and receive $50 off your device. Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got my friend Glenn with us.

Glenn, how are you? I'm doing great, man. How are you? I'm well. Happy to have you. I know we connected a while back and you had the vacation and life and everything, but here we are. Yeah, I'm glad we got to connect. Thanks for having me.

Of course. How we start every episode? What was it like for you growing up? Yeah, that's a good question. I heard you mentioned this on another episode that most of your guests mentioned that their parents got divorced. And so that was the same thing that actually happened to me around the time I was eight years old. And so during the divorce, you know, we ended up moving from Chicago to the south suburbs of Chicago. And it all happened around the same time. So there's my younger brother

and I. And definitely a change of scenery growing from the city and into the suburbs because I grew up getting into a lot of fights trying to fit in. And a lot of those fights were racially motivated with the other party. Unfortunately, So going through that was a different experience. And I kind of settled in and we stayed out in the South River of Chicago all through the time that I went up to college, right? Junior high, high school. And trying to process that divorce, it really affected my younger brother. And so growing up, seeing how my mom dealt with it, given the fact that we were with my father full time during the week and we would see my mom on the weekend. So that type of situation didn't really occur to me

until I was older. You know, that's not something that you usually see where the father gets to the full-time custody and you're visiting the mom on the weekend. So I know that that had a bearing on my younger brother and myself as well. Just seeing my mom go through depression and drinking and she would have get-togethers and parties at her house, smoking and playing cards. And it's not to blame her, but it's like you realize the certain behaviors that you pick up when you're around your parents. And so just growing up and seeing her deal with her boyfriend and there was a lot of arguments and just a lot of domestic issues and alcohol abuse is what I witnessed growing up. Not to say that I had a bad childhood by any means. That was just the negative side of it, right?

But we also had great times, of course, with my mom and my dad. And he eventually got remarried to my stepmom and ended up having two additional children. So I'm the oldest of four brothers. And so between those situations, it kind of led up to once I got to college, that's where my drinking started. You know, real heavy, heavy binge drinking. And we can get into that. But that's kind of a synopsis of from an eight-year-old boy to a college boy experiencing the college life going into adulthood and dealing with all the issues that alcohol brings.

Yeah, no, that's a lot. Yeah, and you bring it up too. You listen to some previous episodes. Great job, Glenn. Yeah, absolutely. And that is a theme I see very common as divorced parents or the other one that's very common is single parents, whether they're divorced or whether they're single for other reasons. But those two situations, and I don't know all the details and how all this plays out.

But yeah, there's a big connection to those who struggle with, whether it be addiction to alcohol or drugs or substances or other stuff. How was it for you at your dad's place? Because you mentioned it your moms on the weekends. I mean, the weekends are probably more for gathering and partying and stuff during the week. Was it the same stuff at your dads or was it different? Oh, it's totally different. You know, my dad's, it was more, I would say normal for lack of a better word. You know, we're coming home.

We do our homework. And it was pretty calm, safe. space, I would say, because I was in the sports. I was playing baseball and basketball. You know, the only issues that would come up when there was issues between my parents still, right? Because my dad would have to pick my brother and I up from my mom's house and vice versa. And sometimes situations would escalate. You know, there's so much animosity going on for so long. And so that's when I would have to deal with those sorts of issues. But yeah, at my dad's house, it was pretty normal. All my friends were in the area that I grew up with and went to school with, but very normal sports and hanging out with friends, but very different and a big contrast going to my moms.

Like I said, when I got to the point where I could no longer go over there, when I was, I think, a junior in high school, I decided to stop going over there, mainly because there were so many arguments between my mom and her boyfriend, and I just got tired of hearing those arguments. And you have to realize that dealing with that from a young age up until late teens, you kind of get tired of it and you realize how much it impacts you. And not to paint my mom as a bad person by any means, but just pointing out some of the things that impacted me growing up and the difference in the households going back and forth. Yeah, it's a different dynamic. And then when you get to the place, I don't know if it's like 16,

but you can maybe make that choice for yourself, right? I'm going to expose myself to that anymore. Then you kind of do that, right? So you go to college. I mean, is there anything else before we even jump into the college thing? And you getting started with the party in here is where I think we're headed. I mean, that's what most of us doing. Yeah, that.

But was there any feelings that you can identify going through high school with your situation? Because a lot of this stuff seems pretty good. You got the sports. Your dad is, sounds like there's a lot of structure there. There's a lot of support. or that was a good environment for you. But was there anything that felt a little bit off or no? That's a really good question.

The only thing that felt off was just that animosity between my parents, that I was just over. But the thing that drove me to actually go away to college, had this girlfriend, the first love of my life. And I was supposed to go away to college after my senior year. and we both decided to change colleges at the last minute and go to a local school just so we can stay together. And that was a secret that I held until my parents realized why I ended up changing schools at the last minute. So that year that I was home, it was very tumultuous because, you know, this is the first person I fell in love with. And you can only imagine, I mean, my nose is so in the air with this woman. And I was just acting way out of character.

I'll never forget. During that summer, I had to pick one of my younger brothers up from camp. And I actually forgot to pick him up from camp a couple of times because I was with her. And that's not on her or that's on me because I was so into her. And it caused a lot of issues that year that I stayed at home. So I finally ended up deciding to go away to school. But her and I eventually broke up. So I was pretty heartbroken.

So I think that was part of the evolution of my drinking issues. But the other part was I was pretty popular when I got to college. And it's not even an underestimation. I wasn't that popular in high school. I knew a lot of people, but I wasn't necessarily one of the popular kids. But once I got to college, it totally changed. And I thought it was just a one-year fluke, but it didn't stop. The entire time I was in college, I was very, very popular to the point where

new students would come to the school and it's a fairly small campus. And they would say, oh, you're Glenn, right? I'm like, and I've never met this person in my life. And that would happen to me a lot. And they would just hear the stories of this party guy. And yeah. So that's where it evolved. This popular party guy, ladies man, and it eventually morphed into a more destructive persona after college, which we can get into. but that's where it all started. Yeah, so I'm sitting back on picturing this. Yeah, the party and stuff, right? And that kind of becomes an identity, right?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. One of the things that makes it difficult to stop, too. For me, looking down the road, you know, at first, it solved a lot of these problems, right? I always was really uncomfortable in my own skin and had trouble creating relationships and the alcohol and the drugs. For me, we're just a great social lubricant to fit in and everybody was like, Oh man, like I wasn't like the ladies man, Glenn, like yourself. I was able to fit in with a lot of people and connect with a lot of people.

And it was like, that's what it did for me. It was like this social aspect of things to begin with when I was in college and like the tail end of high school. It was like the cool let loose thing. But it wasn't destructive at first. Maybe that's some of your experience. But did you have any situations where you were like, oh, snap, this is kind of getting overboard.

I should probably scale it back. Yeah, absolutely. In college, there were, I would say, one main arrest that I got into in college, you know, for fighting. But the other times where we had run-ins with the police was just through the parties that we would have. When I moved off campus, I had three roommates and we had this apartment. And we would just throw these massive parties to the point where, you know, I remember one year that they put us on academic probation because of these parties. And the police, they would always come. to our apartment. And I'll remember one time that they came to our apartment and said, hey, we heard you guys got guns and drugs in your apartment. I'm like, well, there's no way. That's true, right? And then I walked, I'll never forget, I walked off and my roommate grabs the police after he's walking after me. And yeah, now we're in the back of the police car. So just stupid situations like that happened in college. But the biggest and the first main issue that I had was when I got my first DUI.

And that was after college. I was about, when I say 24, 25, that was the first like, oh, shoot, okay, I'm in some real trouble here. And it was a court case that I had to deal with for over a year, which luckily ended up getting thrown out just by happenstance that the precinct that arrested me, they ended up having issues in terms of false DUI arrest going on. And so that is what threw my case out. However, I was drunk.

I was drinking and driving. There was no doubt about it. I blew almost three times the legal limit. And I got lucky on that, but that wasn't the last arrest that occurred. But that was the first and we can get into that. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting.

Interesting too how that. I never had that luck when I got arrested. I mean, I guess I got lucky in a sense that I never got like the maximum sentences. But like, hey, you for sure did. this, but we're going to throw this out. But better or worse, right? Because sometimes we look at those situations at the time, right, Glenn? And I'm just thinking back. And I could be completely wrong, but you're like, oh my goodness, this is such a blessing. If it would have followed through. And I mean, hindsight's always 20, 20 and I'm not like trying to predict things would have ever changed because of

it. But sometimes what I found in my own story is those consequences sticking. And it like really changed after a while, enough of them, like enough of the getting arrested for me. Eventually was like, I don't want to live like this. And every time I got arrested, it was more and more serious. Like you get in a little bit more trouble. Maybe if they would have just like thrown the book at you, Glenn, you would have like turned the corner and gotten all this figured out. It sounds like you still struggled after that.

What was that like, though? So you get this DUI. I mean, are you in denial when this kind of happens or like, what are you thinking? Yeah, that's a good question. You know, it's the arrogance that at least I had when it came to drinking and driving. And it was to a point where my friends and I were like, man, we drive better, you know, when we're kind of buzzed, right? As crazy as that may sound. So once they got thrown out, I'm like, okay, I won't do it again, but obviously I can continue to do it.

And, you know, a couple of years later was when my wife and I, girlfriend at the time, had our first son, you know, Glenn III. You would think that would slow me down, but that didn't slow me down. I'll never forget when we found out she was pregnant. I kind of felt like, oh, man, my life is over. Like, I can no longer have fun. So I ended up booking a flight to Vegas months later and just having a good old time, just blacking out, spending a boatload of money.

And once he was born, it still didn't change. So I was present as a father. But thinking back, going to family events, hungover with my wife and Glenn at the time. And even after we had our second child, Cam, you know, it's the same thing. I'm utilizing my weekends to just let loose and being unhappy into my relationship with her at a certain point and not to her fault, but that kind of added fuel to the fire. You know, those feelings of being unhappy and using alcohol as an escape. And so there were

other issues that occurred that didn't stop me. And we can get into the incident where I finally They said, okay, I'm done. But leading up to that, I mean, there were so many instances. I put my family in some pretty tough situations due to my alcohol issues. But the consequences weren't as great at the time for me to stop. Yeah, it's a good point you bring up there at the end. But yeah, that's the thing. I don't know if I can only speak for myself here, Glenn, but I don't know if I realized the disconnect I had with the world and the relationships around me that actually mattered until after I was able to take a step back and have a look at the impact that things were having. When I was right in there with the drinking and substance use, I thought it was

everybody else. Like, you're the problem. And I could relate with you too about, you know, the drinking and driving thing. And I mean, I even hate to say it, man, because it's very, very serious and it kills people, you know, people die from it. And I wasn't a role model in that sense. We just get into it when we were younger. And that was sort of the thing. And it was like looking back, I'm like, my goodness, for a situation, I'm like literally lucky to be here right now. And there's many, many, many, many more times in my life where I could be like, that could have went and should have went a different way. And it didn't for whatever reason. I don't know why. I don't have all those answers. But I'm with you on that to where, yeah, it becomes that scary thing now. And now is we're

more mature. We're older. We have families. And we're sober. We look back. I do anyway. And I'm just like, I don't want to feel a sense of shame from it. It's also like there's something there to where I'm like, man, you know, I just want to like lead forward to the different way of living type deal, you know? That's, I can't go back and change the choices that I made forward. I'm like, dude, I just want to be an advocate for getting an alternative ride and doing other things. You know, it's like so important because, yeah, it's just, it can be dangerous with you on that, dude.

Like I was rolling the same way. Yeah, that's a good point because my wife and I, you know, when we think back, We kind of joke about it like, man, you're lucky to be alive, right? So it's almost like that survivor's remorse because you see other people that actually go through the situations where someone dies, right? They crash and now they're in prison. And I actually know someone that that happened to. And they weren't even a drinker like that. They decided to get behind the wheel to go take care of a situation and someone ended up dying and they ended up serving 10 years in prison.

And I think about that. And I'm like, that could have easily been me. to your point, right? And it's a serious matter. And so, yeah, thinking back on that, and that's kind of why I decided to share my story with people and help other people because it's like, well, hey, those things didn't happen to me. I didn't end up in prison. I didn't kill someone. So why not help someone else so that they could avoid that same fate? When I was going through deciding to get sober, there were, you know, less resources compared to now, right? I mean, there's a ton of resources, but still, it's good. It's good to hear other people's story to help others change. Yeah. No, so true. I'm wondering, too,

though, Glenn, because you're sharing this part of the story where you start to have the kids and the things with your wife, your partner, things are a little bit rocky at times. What else is going on in your life, though? Well, I mean, are you working through all this stuff? I mean, are you still in school? What else is going on? You've got other stuff. Probably you're doing it. Yeah, that's a great question. So there was a point where I was an entrepreneur, had my own business, doing loan origination and, you know, up to the 08 crash. And I eventually moved on to help my dad run his insurance business. But I did that up until I got into the corporate world for the first time.

And that was a totally different arena. So I'm going from working for myself, working in a family business, to now working for someone else. And so in that environment that you meet a lot of new people, right? There's happy hours every Friday. So that's not helping me. And so I'm going through this weekly service. cycle of telling my wife, my girlfriend at the time, hey, I'm going out Friday after work. And then Fridays turned into Saturday. So those habits from college are still going on in afterwards in my

adult life. But all the while, I would say the biggest mistake that I've ever made was, you know, having a relationship outside of my marriage with a co-worker. And so that was going on. So we eventually got married. And once we did, you know, I continued this relationship that I had on the side and it eventually blew up, of course. So my wife found out, we ended up going through the divorce process. And around the time that the divorce was finalized, I had another incident with the police where I got pulled over and arrested for reckless driving. Now, come to find out, as I was going through the court case with my attorney, they didn't process it as a DUI, I guess because they need more than one officer to process it that way. So we did it as a reckless driving. But the

scary thing is when we talk about drinking and driving, I don't even remember driving home from the bar up to the point that I got arrested. Now, mind you, this distance is probably about 30, 35 minutes. And I was about two lights away from being home from when I got pulled over. And the police, we were so close to home that they actually picked my wife up to come get me from the police station to get me out. Now, she didn't have to pay bail or anything like that. They just gave me my tickets and my court date. And so I had to deal with that. And, you know, at the time, I was already in the process of moving out because of the divorce. But she's like, you got to go now. Like so in a matter of days, I had to speed up the process because at that time, the condo I was moving into, I'm rehabbing

it, getting ready for me to move in. But she's like, no, you got to go. And so, yeah, the divorce and losing my family, that was the biggest thing. That's what made me reflect and look at my life and say, okay, yeah, I was present as a father, but I just blew up my family. And having a nuclear family was one of the main goals that her and I had, because, you know, obviously with me going through a divorce or my parents, rather, when I was younger, with her parents, that was just a main goal that we had for me to mess that up in the way that I did. It hurt me a lot to go through that and seeing my kids on a daily basis, and now we got to

co-parent. I got to get them on the weekends. So that was a tough time. That was the ultimate situation that made me reflect. Didn't make me get sober because there's one more, but this was the ultimate situation where I actually had to look at myself and say, okay, maybe I should slow down. Okay, yeah, I got to moderate. I got to put the breaks on it, and I just Friday and Saturday, right?

Yep. Interesting. I mean, when all that happened, when all that was coming out, I mean, were you like, it's the booze? Like, this is the alcohol or was it something else? It was the alcohol, but, you know, I started to compromise with myself and say, okay, maybe I won't do hard liquor. Maybe I'll just do beer. I started getting into IPAs, things of that nature. You're right. Harder beer, right? Not light stuff. In there? Yeah. But at that time, the crazy part is it almost felt like a relief. once a divorce happened. Because myself being unhappy, and again, it was my own issues throughout

the marriage and the relationship for 15 plus years. I felt some relief. And I'm like, okay, now I get to start over and do better in my next relationship. And I ended up moving on from the relationship, the divorce pretty quickly. I ended up getting into a relationship with a girlfriend. It was long distance, another coworker at the time, believe it or not, right? And as I started, as I started, to get myself together. My wife's like, wait, hold on now. You're in a relationship? I'm like, yeah, you know, it's getting pretty serious. And that's what kind of tipped her off because she's like, wait, you gave me hell for 15 years. And then someone else gets to reap the benefits of you getting your life together. Something's wrong with this picture. So that sparked us having

conversations about possibly getting back together. And long story short, we ended up getting back together. I ended that relationship. And we got back together literally six months after the divorce was finalized. But it wasn't all roses. You know, once we got back together, we bought a house a few months after that. But I would say about nine months after that was when she kind of paused and realized like, hey, I'm still kind of pissed at you for what you did. And she didn't really have time to process that. And that's when we started going to couples counseling, trying to really repair, you know, what happened all those years. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if I was expecting that.

I mean, that's good that you can, you know, because that's what you wanted in a sense, right, to be with the family and have the unit together there because that's, yeah, I mean, from your own experience, like I think we all can see that that's probably going to be better than the alternative, right? Hopefully. Yeah, and I would have never thought in a million years. Both of us would have never thought a million years

that we would actually get back together. That wasn't even on my mind. You know, I didn't go back and say, hey, take me back. I just took the loss as I should have, right? Because I ruined our marriage and our family. But we both took time to think about if we really wanted to get back together. And so it wasn't a snap decision.

We both thought about it, talked it through. And we said, hey, yeah, let's work it out. But yeah, going through couples counseling for at least a year and a half, two years, it was tough. Because I had to face everything again, although I kind of faced myself already because I had already started therapy at that point, but having to relive it and really understand what I put her through, realizing like, man, you know, what if she heals from all this? And then she just doesn't want to be with me anymore. So that was a fear that I had. But looking at it, I said, hey, you need to be there for her. You have to help her heal. That's the least that you can do

for her. And eventually she did. But going through that situation, lastly, the issue that finally made me decide to go sober, I was working this job and I got a new role. And so my coworkers, they're like, hey, let's go out, celebrate because you're getting this new job. We won't see you ever again. I'm like, great, let's go out. So we go to a bar. Of course, I'm drinking IPAs. And I black out. I black out, right? And I wake up in my manager's apartment at that time with, you know, her husband and her kids. And the first thing I can do. And I'm going to, think of was like, man, my wife's going to be pissed. Like, here I go again, right? And so I finally get home and, you know, she's pissed, of course. And the reason why I ended up at my manager's house,

she explained to me the next day, she was like, you were so drunk that you wouldn't tell me where you live. So I had no choice but to bring you home with me. And I'm like, well, I appreciate it. Yeah, that day when I came home that morning, my wife was pissed. And I'm like, you know what, I'm done. And hadn't had a lick of alcohol since. That was a day. I decided. I decided. to get sober because I didn't want to ruin the relationship again, you know, after we've got back together. And so, yeah, things have been great ever since, you know, after the therapy, of course, the couples counseling. Yeah. Wednesday day.

Yeah, October 18th, 2018. So coming up on five years of sobriety and I feel so much better. I train, I work out. I'm really into, you know, my health and fitness and that's helped me as well. And I remember you talking about like, okay, now you're sober, now what? You know, what do you do with that extra time? Yeah, somebody, I put up a thing today too. Somebody had all the time, dude, I seem to get this question.

People are like, now, what do you do now that you're sober, that you're sober? What do you do? And I was thinking about it today. I'm like, when I wasn't sober, I was very limited to what I could do because it was either I couldn't drive anywhere. I couldn't go anywhere. I had any money. I was broke.

I was within withdrawal. Like, I was very limited to what I could do. Now in sobriety, like, I can literally do it. whatever I want to do. There are places I choose not to go. Like, I don't hang out at a lot of the same places I used to hang out. Like, I don't go and hang out at bars all night until two in the morning. I might go. And if I go somewhere, you don't have like a soda or something. But yeah, somebody was like, yeah, what do you do? It's like literally the same stuff. I'm just and I spend a lot less money when I go places. But it's interesting in your story, though,

blacking out. See, I blacked out like a handful of times. And it really was like scary because the scariest part about it for me, Glenn, was like, I never knew this was possible for one. So this is probably why it scared. The only way I could recall the events was through my friends that were there. I couldn't understand when I was younger, you know, 1819, how the heck this could be a thing. Like, how was I still walking around talking with people, engaging with people, but I don't remember this six-hour gap in my life. And sometimes I would do things that you just couldn't be proud of.

Like, I just wasn't in control. And that just scared me. But I didn't know, you know, when the flip. See, I was mixing Xanax with the alcohol. I got a thing of doing Xanax for a bit. And I was like, oh, this would be great. And I had no idea about, like, different milligrams. And me talk about being naive, but I really had no idea.

At Bing, bang, boom, you know, I'm out for Mexican food at one of my favorite places, La Rancherita and Apex. And it was a beautiful place. And then I don't remember anything after that. And I was just like, oh, it was scary. But what would have? take for you to black out? Like you go to this bar. Like, are you having a dozen IPAs? Man, it's funny. Yeah, you talk about blacking out. Blacking out for me was pretty frequent. And yeah, it was just a

constant drinking because, you know, I had an issue with binge drinking. So once I start drinking, I'm on the whole night. And like you, it took my friends telling me what happened the night before. I'll never forget. I lost an entire day of my memory drinking. It was one. It was one of our many Vegas trips, we would go to Vegas two to three times a year. It would get that bad. Who's we? A buddy of mine that I grew up with and a few friends. Yeah, it was a... Not your wife then. She wouldn't go to... No. And that was another issue. All the trips that I would take was without her. It was me going out, partying. And so, yeah, there was one trip to Vegas. I'll never forget. I called my wife to check on her and the kids. And I hear the kids in the back

and I'm like, why aren't they in school? And she's like, because they have the day off. I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, Glenn, it's Saturday. And I'm like, wait, it's not Friday? She's like, no. I literally thought that it was Friday because we got there that trip Thursday night. And soon as we landed, we just started partying.

And I do not recall all of Friday. So when I called her, I thought it was Friday. But it was Saturday. Like that's how bad it would get for me. I mean, I didn't lose a whole day a lot, but I would black out most of the time. And like you said, it's scary, especially if I'm driving,

if I don't remember the drive. Now, that didn't happen a lot where I would black out driving, but it happened enough. I mean, it shouldn't be behind the wheel drinking and driving anyway. But, yeah, blacking out was very frequent just because I would drink so much when I went out. Yeah.

Did you do a majority of your drinking out? Or did you drink at home too? Yeah. I know it was out. Like that was the crazy thing. And that was why, you know, I tried to go to AA a couple times back in the day. And I just felt like, man, I'm not addicted to it. I don't feel like I'm addicted to it because I don't need it every day. I just drink when I go out. Sometimes there's weeks or months span from me drinking. Like, I'm not an alcoholic, right? And the arrogance, right? So I just didn't feel like I had a problem. It was just, oh, when I go out,

I drink heavy, but that is a problem. Bidged drinking is alcohol abuse. Yeah, so I wouldn't really drink at home like that. It was just when I would go out. And you can imagine the money that spent doing that, which caused issues in our relationship in the past. Yeah, the binge drinking thing too. It can be the confusing message, right?

Because we can talk ourselves out of our story being different than others. Like I was a little bit of that, I'm sure, in college. And then I got into like every day. And I was kind of all over the place with it. I don't know if I really fit into an exact box. But we can easily convince ourselves that if we don't fit this criteria, you know, I used to search Google. A lot of people talk about it.

And I have a question of things. And I mean, I would lie about question. I always would talk myself out of it and just kind of squeak by answering three out of the five questions to be put in a certain category. But yeah, I mean, it's interesting that a couple of people I've talked to recently. Yeah, that's sort of like they're. is going out. Yeah, I mean, I can see that. I mean, especially now, like, I know things of alcohol has always been expensive, but my goodness, Glenn, after the pandemic, dude, like, you have to have

have three, four jobs to keep up with things. It is just bananas. But yeah, so that day, though, Glenn, was it hard for you? Getting sober, just choosing to. That's a good question. Yeah, no. And you're like, oh, man, like, this is at the root. You sound like, you sound like, you kind of came to the conclusion at the end, like, it's not this, it's not that, it's not that. This is literally alcohol is kind of here at the bottom of this and then it's causing all these other different problems. Yeah. It wasn't difficult because by that time, yeah, you're talking over 20 years of alcohol, abuse, partying, spending money, going on trips, upsetting my wife and I was just over it at the time. You know, leading up to that, I was drinking on

occasion, right, calling my stuff, getting my life together. But even those small times that I would drink on occasion, I would only have, you know, a handful of beers and I was still black out. Because at this point, I'm like really into my health and fitness. So anything that I'm putting into my body is really affecting me. So it's no longer having to take, you know, almost 10 beers or 10 drinks to really get me completely wasted. It's three to five good IPAs and I'm hammered. I'm still blacking out. So up to that point, I'm like, man, I don't know if I should keep doing this, but that event, I was so over it at that point. And then just knowing that I could have almost ruined my relationship again, even after she's forgiving me for everything, I'm like, no, I can't

mess this up again. I can't lose my family again. So it was that. The thought of losing my family and falling into the same habits is what kind of kept me in line as well as just being over it. Like, yo, I've done enough. Yeah, I can relate too because I kind of came to the same point that like the next one's not going to be any different than the previous one. For me and my whole addiction, I came to that conclusion that it'll never be like it once was. You know, I just was looking for that. I was looking for that first time I popped into that college party and I dipped into that cooler of Everclear and grape juice and fruit. And I just was outside of myself and everybody loved me. And it was just great experience.

And I wanted that. I realized looking back, that's what I was on the hunt for. And that's what I was looking for. And I think if I'm being 110% honest, I never came anywhere close to that again. I never experienced it like that again. But I was on the chase for that. But what was it for you? I mean, for me, I could go on and on about why I was drinking and why I was sabotaged my life. And we've heard a lot about how your struggle with alcohol impacted everything around you. But how the heck was Glenn feeling about Glenn? Yeah, that's a really good question. Like you talked about as far as looking for that feeling when you first drank.

For me, when I was in the corporate world, it kind of reminded me of college. Because, again, I'm in this environment where, you know, I'm the popular guy again. ladies man and now it's a lot different because I have a little more money now, you know, going into it. And, you know, I also had this position in the company where I got to travel to different locations. And so it was just all fun for me. But when I got home, I would just not be happy. And that was my fault, right? It was just running from myself, not realizing at the time that, hey, you have a problem, right? You're treating your woman wrong and you're creating this issues within your family. So outside of the house, yeah, I had this almost completely different life that

I was living. And it was just nothing but fun, drinking, partying, and women and traveling. But then when I get home, it's, okay, I'm a dad, a spouse, and do these events, go to the zoo, have birthday parties. It was very calm, very scaled down. So I was almost kind of living two different lives, but it was sort of like, again, still living up to that person that people expected me to be, much like it was in college. And so in my adult life, it's like, hey, Glenn, let's go hang out. I'm still the party guy. They have all their stories around things that I did. And so it was just same situation, just repeating itself all over.

So I just found comfort in knowing that I was just having all this fun. And then looking at my wife like, oh, you're boring. So I got to go out and have fun because this is boring. It was just such a negative way to look at it. Yeah, but I mean, I can completely understand how you can kind of keep that I mean, like, for me, too, a lot of the stuff was my identity. A lot of it I was wrapped up in, right? As this is like who you get known as and who you are and the value I brought to the world

was like this clown guy and this funny guy and have some fun and always a good time. Like, good, people loved me 18, 19, 20 years old because I didn't work. Like sometimes I had a job. Sometimes I didn't. But I lived on my brother's floor in his apartment. They didn't love that idea. But see, we had a pool at the complex. We could go to the pool.

I'd be like, yeah, boys, come over to the pool or whoever. So people loved that. But at the end of the day, when I looked back, I was like, yeah, I mean, we had a good time, but I don't really know that we were like friends or anything, you know, with a lot of these people, when I decided to kind of get sober and stuff, like things played out the way that they played out. But I don't talk to any of those people anymore. I'm not really checking up on anybody else.

Like, we kind of just went on ways, but like I'm thinking at the time, I invested so much my time, effort, and energy into people liking me and wanting to be around me. And I feel like throughout that process, I forgot who I was. I don't even know if I ever knew who I was, but I feel like I got farther away from who I maybe actually was. And I just started to become what people wanted, like different characters. This group, I was that character. This group, I was like the guy who could get cheap weed. And this group, I was like the guy who would buy the beer.

And this group, we would smoke the cigarettes. And through all of it, when I look back, I'm like, sometimes it was fun. Like, we did have fun, of course. But when I look back, I'm like, dude, it was exhausting, man. I was exhausted. But yeah, dude, Glenn, I really appreciate you sharing all this stuff with this, dude. Yeah, man, no problem. I mean, just recounting everything, there's just so much more, like, just thinking back on all the crazy things that I've done.

But as long as it helps someone, that's the main thing. And so I can appreciate, you know, what you're doing with your platform and sharing all these stories. So I appreciate you having me on and be able to share mine. Of course, dude. Of course. I'm thinking, too, before we wrap up, what are things like now for you?

I know you touched on a little bit. You're big into exercise, the fitness, to all that jazz. What is life looked like for you since you got sober, man? Yeah. So I've actually been really in tune with what I call my purposes. You know, my wife, she's been the one that's been encouraging me to share my story. And it morphed into me creating a program

where I help others with their sorriety, if they're dealing with other vices. And so it's more focused on, you know, mindset, training, and nutrition. And so the main piece is, yeah, there's those health and fitness, right? You have to get your body together through disciplined activities, like going to the gym, eating correctly. But the mindset is the main thing that people tend to miss because you can hand anyone a diet or workout program, but will they stick to it? will they wake up every morning to go do the work?

Will they work on themselves? And so that's what I've created. I've created a program. So it's surrounded around the things that has worked for me and helping others that have the same issues that, you know, you and I have had in the past or people that are just dealing with everyday issues that just want to get better and improve their lives. So, yeah, I created a program.

And that's been my main focus is building my brand and helping other people through the program that I've created. And so, yeah, my wife and I, we got remarried in February. So for the second time, so things are great. You got to be lucky for that situation. I mean, just hearing. And Glenn, you do seem like a really great person too, but just to think about all the stuff and like everything else

that we just don't have time to talk about here. But I'm sure things got rocky. You're kind of choosing this party life. It almost sounds Glenn like a single life, you know, because I've tried to pull this stuff with my wife. Going out drinking and partying, but like just to go fishing. I'm like, I just want to go fishing. You have three kids because some of my friends.

because some of my friends are single, right? So they can just kind of float into whatever. She's like, that's not your life. I absolutely had a single life. Not anymore, though. So, Glenn, you're living that. So for you guys to be able to work on this stuff, I mean, which takes a lot of effort from both parties,

I assume with your counseling and stuff and with her and now her pushing you and supporting you to share your story and give back and help people with what you've been through. I mean, this just sounds incredible, man. No, thank you. I mean, I'm lucky. Like, I'm just blessed. to even be in this situation.

It's like redemption because we laugh because our kids, they don't even remember me as someone that drank, which is funny because they were obviously younger. And so now they get to see this evolved me, right? This more evolved father. And so they're able to take on the habits and I don't force anything on them, but I see that they watch me.

And so I'm just glad I'm in a point in my life where they see me the way that I am today as opposed to Glenn, our oldest being 15-year-old, seeing me as the one that's been drinking every weekend. Like, things would be a lot different, even for him. And so just breaking that cycle, you know, my mom said that, hey, I'm just proud of you guys for breaking those generational curses. And she's right.

So I can stop that cycle of alcohol issues that existed, you know, not only with my mom, but on that side of the family and have a nuclear family, you know, with my wife and I. Yeah, wow. Wait, your mom told you that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, she's sober. Yeah, and she's been sober for a long time.

And we got kind of close, like, during my divorce process. And I remember we were having a conversation. She's like, you know, I'm so sorry for me not being fully present when you were younger. And I'm like, don't worry about it. I went to therapy. I'm fine. But I understand you were doing your best and you handled it as best as you could. So she sees the changes that I've made have been critical for our family.

but she has mentioned that she's proud of me, and she's on her therapy journey as well. And she's kind of peeling those layers back for herself and things that she went through. So it's just impacting the entire family, which is good to see. That's so cool, man. That's got to feel good. Yeah, we still have one other person who will remain nameless, but I'm hoping that this person kind of follows my footsteps and, yeah, we'll see what happens. It's good you bring that up, too, because I think all of us do. I really don't know, you know what I mean, of somebody that's not within arm's reach of somebody struggling with some sort of addiction of some sort.

You know, I mean, that's just how it is. And I mean, alcohol is everywhere. I don't think it's ever the plan. I obviously haven't talked to everybody in the world, but I don't know if anybody ever wakes up and it's like, I just want to be hooked on booze. I want to be hooked on alcohol one day. I just don't think it happens that way. I think that the chemical makeup of alcohol is designed. That's just how our body reacts to it.

I mean, it's literal poison. And if you drink it for long enough, you stick around long enough, you know, and you have some trauma in your life or you have some things that are going on and you want to lean on something. Bing, bang, boom, for 20 bucks, that's an easy way to do it, right? And then you do that over again. And for me, that's what it was. I never set out to be hooked on stuff. It was just there when I needed it. And it became a close friend I could count on.

One of my other friends went on the phone, the food lion, the convenience store, they were open. And I could just hand $5, $10 and I was off that a racist type deal. Yeah, it's a recipe for disaster. That was a good point that you said, you know, when you have traumas and you're adding alcohol or any other substance with it, you're in for a while ride and everyone else around you. I was thinking, I don't know why I was thinking this, but when you go to buy alcohol, there should be a questionnaire that if you're highly likely to have addiction to alcohol,

you should go through this questionnaire. And if you're answering yes to these questions, then you can't buy it. You can't buy alcohol. You know? Hey, that would be a nice law to have, right? So now you got to run for Congress. Yeah, there you go. But ultimately, at the end of the day, even things we restrict from people, you tell people they can't have stuff. Human nature, it's strange, but we just want it more. One of the most powerful things I got for your story, and this is something I've really been leaning on heavily a lot when it comes to making change in anybody's life is that it has to be our

idea. And what I hear, and I don't know exactly, but what I hear is, that after, you know, you had to black out, you stayed at the other people's place and you got home. Of course, your wife was upset with you. But it seemed like maybe for once, maybe not, I could be completely in left field here, but maybe for once putting down the bottle or the IPA was your idea. Was Glenn's idea? It wasn't your wife's idea, brother's idea, this guy, this idea, that person's idea. This is Glenn's idea and that's maybe why it played out.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, 100%. because I'll tell this quick story. My mom asked me, she's like, how do you help people? Like, what do you do to get them to get sober? And I'm like, well, the first thing is they have to be open to change. They have to recognize that they have an issue. And we're talking about the other person I mentioned.

And she's like, yeah, they just won't listen. And unfortunately, it may have to take a traumatic event for them to change. And I'm like, you're absolutely right. It happened to me. you would hope that something traumatic doesn't happen for someone to decide to change or become sober, but there are cases where it just has to be. And then once that traumatic event unfolds, then you hope that they decide to get sober and stop doing those same activities. And so, yeah, typically there's an event that leads to, okay, I'm making the decision to get sober and stop these activities.

but ideally nothing bad happens. You just kind of reflect and realize that you should stop, but usually it's not the case and it's unfortunate at times. Yeah, yeah, and that's so true. It is because that's the, we'll end on this because, Glenn, we could be rock and roll all day. But I mean, that is really the unfortunate part of all of this is everybody is like, how do you get sober,

how do you get a loved one sober, how can I stay sober? I mean, really, you've got to be willing to do it for yourself. I believe you can start for your family and say, hey, like, I want a better life for my family. But I think that'll fade away because your family's not always watching you. Your kids aren't always watching you, even though that's a great motivator to get started. Eventually, you'll be in a spot where it's just going to take everything you got to hang on for another day. And that might not get you there all the time. You got to come home to yourself.

But sometimes it's got to take its course. You know, like you mentioned 20 years. It had to take its course for you to get to that conclusion after 20. years. And that's like a lot of people's story, especially with alcohol. Alcohol seems to really drag, right? Other stuff, it might get more extreme faster. But alcohol, it's so socially acceptable. Go anywhere and it's there, right? So it's like, this can't be a problem. Everybody's doing it. So it carries out. Great points, man. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree. Brock and dude, what you're doing, man. And I appreciate it. Look, let's end on this question,

man. If somebody's listening to the show and they're struggling to get or stay sober, what would you say to them? I would first figure out your why. It may sound cliche, but after identifying that you actually have an issue, figure out what it will mean to you to actually become sober and then think years ahead of, if I make this decision to become sober, you know, what would your life look like? And then taking action to make sure that your life looks like that, but also just taking it one day at a time, right? That's where it starts. And so part of that as well is doing your self-reflection, figuring out like, hey, what avenue do you need to go through to help you with your issue, whether it's therapy, whether it's AA, whether it's going to your spiritual advisor, whatever religion you practice, and leaning into that. but most importantly, the community.

When I was getting sober, like I mentioned before, there weren't that many resources. You know, I don't think BetterHelp.com existed. I didn't know about a sober community. So now there's so many things that you can get tapped into in terms of resources, podcasts, the things that you're doing, you know, these free communities and free webinars that people can attend.

So it's, hey, get tapped in with other people that are going through what you're going through. And this could be remote. It could be, you know, in your local area. So find the resources that there's plenty and get your health back in order because we do so much damage to our bodies when it comes to alcohol. And so focus on your health as well. Yeah.

Wow, that's incredible. Yeah, that's a great starter pack. Yeah. And I love that too. I'm huge, massive on the community aspect of things. It's vital because things are going to get tough and you're going to need to find some people to lean on that understand that have been there. It's the same thing we do in every other area of our life.

If we want to be a ball player, we get a ball coach. We want to be a lawyer. We hang out with lawyers. And that's just what people do. And if you want to get sober, I hung out with other sober people and just followed what they were doing. Like, what are you guys doing? This is what we do.

You know, we don't do that. We don't do that. And I'm like, dude, I just want to get sober. Like, I don't want to die. I'll do whatever you guys want me to do. You know, and I did the best I could and it worked out. But it's a lot of people resist that. And it doesn't have to be your traditional groups, but it can be outside the.

the box, you know, just find some winners out there. Find some people that are good for you. And that's what I was missing out on for so long because I just hung out with people that were just like me. Great people, but when we got together, like we didn't do much good. So find good people, people that aren't obsessed with alcohol that do things. Go to the gym at five in the morning and see who you meet. Like those people there at the gym at 5 a.m. Probably are not obsessed with alcohol every night. And you might be able to check it out. But look, Glenn, thank you so much, man. No, thank you, man.

Again, I appreciate you having me on. I enjoyed this. Yeah, of course. Well, there it is, Glenn's story. I really hope all of you enjoyed this as much as I did. I'll drop the contact information for Glenn. Down in the show notes, be sure to reach out to Glenn and let him know that you really do appreciate him jumping on the podcast

and sharing his story because it definitely is incredible. and I think there's going to be a lot of people who can relate to different things here and there. And look, if you're enjoying the show, do us all a huge favor. Share with a couple of friends, drop a review, and I'll see you on the next one.