Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - How I Quit Drinking After Alcohol Took Over My Life | 29 Years Sober

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, Jane shares her powerful alcohol addiction recovery story and how she finally quit drinking after alcohol slowly took over her life.What started as drinking in high school escalated into blackouts, hiding alcohol, drinking in the morning, and living with the chaos of alcoholism. Jane talks about the shame, insecurity, and hopelessness that came with alcohol addiction, including one terrifying night when she rear-ended a car while drunk and fled the scene.After years of struggling with alcoholism and addiction, hospital visits, and hitting rock bottom, Jane realized she couldn’t stop drinking on her own. She made the decision to seek help, enter treatment, and begin her sobriety journey.Jane has now been sober since February 2nd, 1997. In this conversation she shares how sobriety, recovery, support groups, and taking life one day at a time helped her rebuild her life after alcohol addiction.If you’re struggling with alcohol, trying to quit drinking, or searching for sobriety, this episode is a powerful recovery story that shows lasting change is possible.—🎙 Sober Motivation PodcastThe Sober Motivation Podcast shares real sobriety stories, alcohol addiction recovery journeys, and conversations about quitting drinking and rebuilding life after addiction.Subscribe for more sobriety motivation, addiction recovery stories, and interviews with people who have found freedom from alcohol.Sober Motivation Community: https://sobermotivation.mn.co/Support the Podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/sobermotivationContact me anytime: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to season five of the Subur Motivation Podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible one story at a time. Let's go. In a company car, and one night I got drunk, and I re-rounded a car, and I took off. I didn't run. When drunk to a parking lot, freaked out. I lived with my sister, and I'd be drinking in the morning, and she's like, what?

are you drinking? Jane was drinking in the morning hiding bottles and she never felt like she was good enough. But her story doesn't end there. Today she is nearly three decades sober. And this is Jane's story on the sober motivation podcast. Before we jump into this episode, I noticed that roughly 80% of you are not following or subscribed to the show. So to help out a creator like me putting together these incredible sobriety stories, wherever you listen, be sure to subscribe or follow sober motivation. Now let's get to this episode. Welcome back to another episode of the sober motivation podcast. Today we've got Jane with us. Jane, how are you? I'm good. How are you doing? I'm doing well. Thank you so much for reaching out and being interested in sharing your story here on the

show. Thank you for having me. I am really grateful for you. Thank you. So what was it like for you growing up? I grew up in a small town in Wisconsin. I have two older sisters. One is four years old. than me and the other one is six years older than me. My parents owned a grocery store when I was growing up. So I went to Catholic school. Just is a small town. So like no matter what you did, everybody knew what you did before you did it yourself. A lot of under the microscope. Yeah. When you say small town, is this like 30 people or 300 people? About 3,000. Okay. So it's like, okay, so still small. Yeah. So everybody kind of knows what's going on families have maybe been there for a little bit. There's maybe, you know, some expectations in that sense, too.

Is there any stuff, you know, early on from your childhood, good memories or things? And sometimes people, too, share, like, was they drinking around? I mean, that's kind of what brings us here or was that not really a thing? No, it was. You know, I, my life was good. I mean, I had two older sisters. You know, I don't recall a lot from growing up. Just that it was good. And Catholic school, I had friends. And I cared more about my friends than I did my family, basically. Drinking was prevalent. Our house got broken into when I was younger. And we got sent to my grandma's that night because they had all the police been over to go to the bar.

It was, like, glamorous. Like, I wanted to be like them. Like, it was so cool that people would come over and they would have parties and we could drink. I mean, I did because I wasn't going to. but it just looked like it was a life that we wanted to lead. It was cool. Yeah. Even mentioning too, you know, was it kind of what everybody was doing?

I get that sense from a lot of listeners too, especially the ones from Wisconsin. You have the long winters. You have the basements with the bars in them. Yes. Yeah. My dad had this room we called the bar room, you know, lined up everything all along there. It was like, and it was so cool because it had this tilt up thing. You could actually crawl under like a real bar.

So it was like, it was cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you, what you saw. And I mean, I think that that's pretty common in that generation to kind of, you know, see a lot of that, a lot of drinking going on. Maybe things not being out of hand, but, you know, maybe the consistency there and sort of the right of passage. And this is what you kind of do when you're an adult.

A lot of people share too that it wasn't necessarily told to them, but it's kind of, you I mean, kids, I got these three small kids myself and like, they're sharp. They were a lot sharper than I ever thought they would be. So I think there, you know, in one hand, it's like, hey, don't be drinking. But in the other hand, I think they really watch everything we do. And in one way or another, maybe aspire to kind of be what they've seen growing up. You mentioned too there a little bit and you had shared with me before. I mean, your intentions were never to be a drinker, right?

No. I mean, actually when I went in high school, you know, it was, the whole thing was, is that I had a sister who was six years older and four years older than me, so neither one of them were left in high school. And they were very pretty and they were cheerleaders and not very, people thought they were snooty, whatever. So I was going to be nothing like them. And so I went in like with, I'm going to go for sports and, you know, do that kind of stuff. But actually, I was like, I'm not going to drink. My friends and I had all said, we're not going to drink.

So I would go to parties and I would like dump alcohol. Oh, which is I would have never done that after I started drinking. Yeah. Where do you get that in that sort of thought or see that that's a thing, right? Because I know some people, if they grow up with family members that are struggling, say it's their parents. And then they say, oh, I see how disastrous that is. I don't want to have any part to do with that.

But where did it come from for you that this idea of drinking you weren't going to get involved with? I think maybe it wasn't that it was ingrained in us that we weren't going to do it. I was like this good Catholic girl. And so I don't know. Yeah. So that, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. But once I had it, it changed my mind. Yeah.

Tell us that story. Walk us through that. I was freshman in high school. Because my parents had older kids, they loved me, but they wanted to go and do stuff. So when I was a freshman in high school, my mom and dad went away for a month to Hong Kong. And my sister stayed with me and she was just a freshman at college. So she came home on Christmas break and stayed with me. And she was starting to party herself at that time.

We had a party at her house. And I had alcohol for the first time. And I was like, oh my gosh, I absolutely loved it. Like I wrote my diary the next day. Like I had to hold the walls to walk around. Like I loved it. Like from the first time I tried it, it was like I was hooked. Yeah.

Which is interesting because I feel like some people that listen to the show and they come on the show, they always kind of, they either make one of two points, right? It's like you loved it from the beginning. And then other people are like, I hear it all the time on the podcast, but I didn't love it from the beginning. what do you think it was for you that it just set off the fireworks that first time? I love the way it made me feel. I was very insecure.

I had some friends that, like, I could never stand up for myself. Like, I always was a follower. I never had a mind of my own. Like, I always did what everybody not told me, but I just didn't want to make anybody upset. And I finally found that. that with alcohol, you know what? I could tell people how I felt. Yeah.

And the pressure, too, of sort of what you described there could be a lot, too. Yeah. Well, I never felt good enough. And like with alcohol, I felt like I was. Yeah. I could transform it into something else. Yeah. That's relatable to me, too, 100%.

Yeah. Everything melted away. I remember the first time I drank, everything melted away. every insecurity about not being good enough, not doing it own school, girls, all of that stuff, parents' expectations, everything. It was just like, wow, it was like a freedom from the weight of the world. And it just made a whole heck of a lot of sense. Where do you go from there?

So, I mean, you have your first time drinking. I mean, does it? I think, like, because we live in a small town, I mean, and back then, you know, like, we would drive around and drink. That's what you did. You found somebody like that was old enough to buy you alcohol and you rode with people. You went to parties. You went to people's houses. You parked in fields and drink. That was like the weekends. It was not uncommon. Through high school then, I mean, it came to the point where like if I wasn't going to get a buzz, I didn't even want to have one. One time my friends and I went along that big bar in my mom and dad's house and had a thermos and poured everything a little bit

from each one in the thermos and brought it to school. God only knows why. And all that passes at the same time and we went in the locker room and drank it, which was weird. And then we had open campus for lunch. So one of our friends' parents had a corner barrel in their basement. We would go there and drink at noon, come back, go to school. it was not uncommon.

Yeah. So I think then already I knew that it was going to be a problem because I could never stop. And I would black out. And I think like in high school already my mom knew something was going on with me. And she maybe took me to some things and had me go to a counselor. But I was like, yeah, no, whatever. Yeah, like defiant or not really connecting the dots or like this isn't going to be a season of my life. I'll snap out of it.

No, I, no, you're not going to tell. And I mean, I do remember one time my best friend's mom worked for our family and she had an office at our house. And so I had started hiding alcohol in my room and they found it and they put water in there. And I was livid. Like I was beyond pissed. That really made me upset. Yeah. So at this point in time, though, you're kind of thinking, okay, this is beginning to be a slippery slope or maybe already is, but not really motivated or anything, do anything different. Nothing was going to stop me from doing what I wanted to do.

Yeah. How were other things in your life going? I mean, you're keeping your grades up and not getting in too much trouble or did all of that kind of go with it? Grades did really matter to me. I mean, I had seized these days. I felt not good enough in so many things. Like I played sports, but I sat at the bench. I did not really participate. So there I didn't feel good enough. I had a boyfriend my freshman year, but after that, I didn't really have a boyfriend. So I felt never good enough.

It was just always drinking. My senior year, the day after Christmas, I got an accident. I ran into the corner of a building. I ran. I was going to go home. I left it. My dad talked to somebody. I don't know what happened. I lost my license, but I never got anything. You know, this was the 80s. So things that happened then are not like they are now. It was a lot easier to do what we were doing. I put a car in the ditch. We called the truck, the towing company. And there was no questions asked. But I knew we had gone to stay. state forensics for something. And I felt really low because of my drinking, somebody told me, if we don't win, it's all your fault. And I remember being there and we stayed in a hotel and everybody was drunk. We hit our battles. And I remember feeling so low. I remember like being in the shower and having someone say that to me. And I actually tried to take that shower curtain that

they pull across there and like strangle myself. Like I felt like I didn't belong. Like I was never going to be good enough at anything. Yeah. And that's sort of the signals you maybe were getting, right? At least in that situation. Yeah. And alcohol sort of made all of that go away.

You belonged with that crowd or if you didn't feel fully belong with that crowd. You forgot that maybe you didn't belong. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, and this comes up a lot in, you know, the shows and I think people's stories that, you know, as we kind of look into it, right, of what was kind of going on within us to keep this going. Because there's a lot of people out there too who probably have their first drink at 13, whatever, have this wide time. Yeah. And they probably, but a lot of people probably move on.

Like, they might not drink again until college, you know. So I'm always like so interested in that. I mean, some people can pick up on it. Some people can't. But I'm like, what was it for us where we leaned in so heavily to this other way as opposed to maybe other people too? And I think that sense of belonging or not feeling that is a big thing that I see in a lot of stories and is so relatable to mine trying to just find that wherever and founded with sort of something that was destructive. But I was okay with that. I didn't care.

I was like, I will deal with all the consequences as long as I feel like I have some sort of purpose or belong somewhere. It's better than nowhere. Exactly. I didn't have to feel. Like, I was numb. Like, nothing would affect me. Like, I didn't hurt anymore when I was drinking. When did you first pick up on feeling this way?

Like, how old were you? Like, not being good enough or... Yeah. Probably from young, four or five? Yeah. You know, I just... I don't know. I just never thought I was good at anything.

Yeah. Yeah, that's in a lot of stories. Where do things go for you from there? And you're mentioning to the 80s, things are different, maybe not even wearing seatbelts back then, right? I don't know, probably not. So. 10 people in cars, you know.

So I graduated from high school. I'm just going to tell that story quick. So my mom and dad had a party because my sister had graduated from college at the same time. and there were cars parked up and down the highway. They got a band. None of us kids could drink, but I was friends with some stoners that had this doomy ban that we were there. And we drank in the van.

And by the time, the party was, you know, like just getting started. A lot of my other friends were having parties that day. And I think I was banished to my room. And it was kind of like my mom and dad were like, my dad was like, just let her go Karen.

It doesn't matter. And she was like, she's staying home. She's not going anywhere out. But I curled out my window and went to the party anyway, like at my friend's house far away. So, I mean, it was like, there was nothing that was going to stop me. Like my summer between that year, like the friends that I had, we all got in a big fight. Everybody said I'd never make it in college. And I was just going to go as far as I could to get away from you.

here because I didn't want to be in this town anymore. I didn't want to be around these people. I wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew me and I could just probably be the drunk than I was. I don't know. Yeah, like a fresh start news, you know, big, new reputation or not many people watching or many people knowing and this can all get back to, you know, your parents. What did they say about it though?

I mean, they're picking up on this stuff, but did they just kind of throw their hands up and kind of feel powerless on like, hey, you got to do this? I remember my sister taking me to an AA meeting in Green Bay. And I was like, yeah, no, this is not for me. I know my mom had me into some stuff. My dad, oh, Karen, she's just going to be whatever she is. You know, like, she'll grow out of it. Don't worry about it.

Yeah. Yeah, which is interesting too, right? I mean, I'm thinking of the future for me for parenting. where do you draw the line about, hey, this is kind of the quote unquote teenage experience or college experience. And then, hey, there's something else going on here that's a lot more serious. I think in your case with kids being so young and you're sober and you're not drinking, it makes a huge difference. Because by the time I had my kids, I was sober. I never drank in front of them.

I told them, look, you need to be careful because I'm afraid if you pick up your first drink or whatever. this is what could happen to you. I told them every day since I can remember what my life was like and how I didn't want them to. So I think you can be grateful that you are because they don't have to see you doing that. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that kind of goes back to, you know, what they see growing up. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. on them than we realize or whatever the dynamics are there. So you have this, you have this party, you escape and escape out your window. That was your first time probably, right, jumping out the window or no. Who knows? I mean, I don't know.

I can't be careful about the shenanigans I used to pull. Yeah, but I mean, the big picture here is that I'm taking away is that, you know, you're struggling with a sense of belonging. and, you know, maybe it's self-love or worthiness, maybe some other things, too. And alcohol has sort of checked this big box for you to melt that all away or provide some sort of sense of belonging. Pretty rebellious, very rebellious. And kind of doing your own thing, you know best. I mean, this all hits home for me when I was a teenager.

I mean, I knew what was best for me and my parents didn't know anything. So, and I just kind of did my own thing. I got in a ton of trouble. I got suspended from school in grade six. they started getting suspended. I ran away from home. I would run away and sleep in the crawl space. And my parents would think I was gone and I was getting in trouble.

I mean, you name it. I told my kids, I said, anything you ever think that you're going to do, I've already done it three times. And my wife is not like that. My wife was very much into the books and not getting in trouble. But I was like,

I've already done it all. So I'm getting sort of that picture. I mean, then you leave for college, right? I told my kids that too. I'm like, can do with it. I haven't already done. So it's doing it done. Like, I know. The jig is up. Like, I ruined it for you. Yeah, I went to college, started drinking there. You know, I was like Thursday,

Friday, Saturday night. If people didn't drink, I was not their friend. My grandma would send me a letter every week with $5 in it. I'd have enough to buy a pack of cigarettes and go to a party for $3. That's how long ago this was. Cigarettes are not $2 anymore. So yeah, I did that. Met a guy that because I was not of age. I met a guy who worked in a bar and he was a bartender. So that was convenient because I was not of age. So I could get in because I was going out with him. He knew how old I was, but all is transcent.

And so we got caught that they figured out how old I was. And that wasn't so good. But then I drank a lot, didn't get good grades. I was put on academic probation. I had to go in front of a board and plead my case. And I said, look, I said, I have a drinking problem. You know, I'm going to give help. They let me go to summer school.

I drove back and forth every week, five hours, each way, to come home and work on the weekends and go to school to try to get back in. I had to go in front of this board, packed up the whole car, not knowing if they were going to let me back in or not. And they did. And then I met this guy that was really nice to me. at first. And so I was like, hey, he liked to drink, whatever, we got together. But not long after that, he started like, you know, leaving and he couldn't do anything. And it just was not good.

Eventually, he abused me. I couldn't talk to anybody without him thinking I slept with them. It was not a good situation at all. One night, I had. this is like by my third year now. I had my own room at school because my roommate didn't show up. That made it really easy for me to drink. And I got so tired of it one night. I wrote him a letter, took a bottle of something, drank. And I didn't die.

I lived, but it was the worst. Worst I have ever felt in my whole life. I don't know what happened. And he came and took care of me and didn't tell anybody. I probably should have been in the hospital getting my stomach pumped or something because, I mean, it's a miracle that I've lived through that. I have never been sick in my life. Wow. And that was your third year of college. Yeah. Wow. Going back to the standing up in front of the board, having to talk with them about the academic probation, how do you get it out that you're, you share with them that you're struggling with, you know, with alcohol? That was just, the truth you were like, I'll just share the truth with them? I think it was an excuse because I knew I struggled with it, but I didn't want to admit it.

Nobody was going to stop me. Yeah. There was just, I liked it too much. I was too young. I was too young. I was 21, not even. And nobody was going to tell me I couldn't drink. I had my whole life ahead of me.

And back then, too, if you were an alcoholic, you were considered this, like, low life. They're down side of the road with a bag with a bottle in it. It wasn't, it wasn't accepted. Like, you were really looked down upon it if you had a problem. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we have definitely come a long way. In that, I mean, still a long way to go, but definitely progress made there. So that, in that, you know, that's kind of like what I refer to on the podcast as sort of the Hollywood, you know, Hollywood movie painting a picture of somebody who struggles with alcohol is sort of that.

what you just shared there. The reality is a lot of people don't fit in. A lot of people don't, doesn't look like that for them. So it's hard to kind of connect the dots. Where do I land with all of this? And I mean, drinking being on a spectrum of like your first day,

not drinking and then, you know, things getting a lot worse with time. And you're young. I mean, that's, yeah. Like what, what is a,

what is my whole, the rest of my life going to look like without drinking? And then I think we tell ourselves too. I don't know if this crossed your mind, but like, of course, you'd have a family someday. Like there will be lots of other opportunities.

Of course, I'll wake up to all of this stuff and just turn the page, you know? So how's your fourth year? My fourth year was with that guy and tell me that nobody would ever love me like he did. Nobody would ever want to be with me. It was to the point where I was not coming home. I was not seeing my family. I was not. I didn't really have any friends.

And finally one weekend, my sister came and stayed with me and we went, I worked at a restaurant and we went to the restaurant and we were out and you had to get up for the reserves the next day and we came home. It was pretty late, probably 2 o'clock in the morning and he pushed both of us around. Like he pushed me and her and she said, you have to tell mom and dad. So we arranged to meet my mom and dad and told them and they talked to me into leaving and I don't know how I did. But then I came home and worked and that was in summer and before my fifth year and still drank a lot. And then I went out with my sister in Milwaukee and I met my husband, which I was not planning on meeting anybody at all. Love at first sight?

I say it is. I say it was. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Interesting how that plays out. Yeah. It is very interesting.

And are you guys drinking a lot? Yeah. I fell off the bar the night I met him. And I couldn't read his writing on his number that he'd written out because don't forget we didn't have cell phones then either. And I wrote his name and my sister's like, what do you think of those? guys we met last day. I'm like, I'll probably never see him again. Well, then I did. And I had one more year of school left yet. And we dated then, but I did break up with him a couple

times because I wanted to drink. That was more important to me. Yeah. And was he not drinking like that or not wanting you to drink like that? I don't think he ever said, but I felt like it was honing it on my freedom. He was older than me. me. So, like, he had, he was, like, in real life and I was still in college. Yeah. How did things finish up for you at college? Well, I graduated. I did really good. I got a job as soon as I got out. But it was local and it wasn't my dream job. But I remember, you know, like, frequenting the liquor store often when I got done with work. Basically nothing. And then I got my dream job.

Yeah. And I had a company. car and I moved to Milwaukee and that didn't go so good. Which part? The company, the dream job, the company car or moving to Milwaukee or all three? I drank a lot, obviously. We've established that now. Yeah.

I had a company car and I would, one night I got drunk and I, I probably had been working there for like six months already. I reoriented a car and I took off. I had to hit and run. When drove to a parking lot, freaked out. My husband, oh, I went, you know, my husband now came and got me and we drove the car and we hit it. And my sister, she lived down there too. So we were all together.

And I think after that, I quit drinking because a lot of it was like I lived with my sister and, you know, I'd be drinking in the morning. She's like, why are you drinking? Like, why? I'm like, why not? Because I want to. Like, so I think after that, I think I got scared and quit drinking for a little bit. It was causing a little bit of chaos or a lot of chaos. Yes.

I mean, that question there when she asked you, why, I mean, looking back now, what was it? Like, why? Because I couldn't live without it. And security. I mean, it's 9 o'clock in the morning and I'm drinking a beer. But I'm hiding it. So I know that I'm not supposed to be having it. But I can't.

Not. Yeah. Did you ever think to yourself throughout this? Like, I should check something out? At that point, no, not yet. No. So you have the company car and you're out drinking and then, yeah, this crash, then hide the car.

I mean, Yeah, that's quite the chain of events. So where do you go from here? So you quit drinking then after that for a little bit? Not for very long. I ended up quitting the job because I just, it wasn't working out because I had to travel. And it just, I quit. And my parents were adding on to the store.

So we all moved back home. But at this point, you know, everybody realized I was a loser. So I figured I might as well just. be the loser that I was. So at that point, I'm not supposed to be drinking. So I'm hiding it now. And we're all living together in my parents' house. Me, my soon-to-be husband, my sister, her boyfriend, my other sister, her daughter, or she had a baby then, and her son. So we are all living together. You talk about a cluster. That was one. So I decided I needed to drink again. I was sneaking it.

And I was desperate. And one night, my dad had these liquor and decanters downstairs. This stuff is aged to hell. And I drank it. And I passed out. And they knew something was different than what normally was. And so they took me to the hospital and my blood alcohol level was 0.38. And it's pretty high.

I was very tiny at the time. I don't remember. I don't remember anything except for the next day I woke up in the hospital. And I said, what day is it? And I said it's November 17th. And the nurse was my nephew's aunt. And she came in the room. She goes, Jane, you're too young to die.

You're too young to die. And I was like, I got to go to work. Just let me out of here. Let me out. My dad's like, Karen, just let her. he wanted to go hungry. And my mom's like, you're not coming home. You are going to treatment.

And my husband and I were engaged by this time. And he said, yeah, if you don't get help, we're not getting married. There I went into treatment. I went to Bellin. I was in the psych center for a couple days. And then I did the treatment thing. I tried. I did good.

I was sober for a while. We got married in January then, and I was actually sober for our wedding, which was really good, but not feeling good enough because my soon-to-be sister-in-law took me aside the night before the wedding and told me I was ruining my husband's life because he couldn't drink anymore. And so there again, I never felt good enough. Was that the truth? Like he wasn't allowed to drink anymore or chose not? not to or? He could. He just chose not to because he loved me. And I'm lucky he stood by me all that while than he did and loved me.

And he saw something to me that I didn't see. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. What did he see? We'd have to have him on here, I guess. The person I am now, I guess. I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. It's interesting how that can happen. Other people can see things in us that. We struggle to put a finger on sometimes. Yeah. So you do the treatment program there. You pick up a few tools. What does it look like after, though?

Are you doing anything after you leave this kind of before the wedding in that space? They probably suggested a few things, right? Probably yes, but, you know, I... You're cured, right? Yeah. Yeah. I met a friend out, told her, you know, she knew I, whatever. But she's like, oh, one drink isn't going to kill you.

Okay. at this point we had moving into our own house and I'd gotten a new car and I was like I'm never going to drive it drunk nothing whatever had that one drink and I was off to the races and the next two years were the worst two years of my life I worked for my parents started hiding it I would black out every night I would be driving to go get two liter bottles of vodka two two liter bottles I'd pray on the way home and then I wouldn't get it in accidents. No one would find out. I'd hide them. I'd drink. I got kicked out of stuff. We went to a family function one night with the chamber. My sister told me I was an embarrassment to the family. I would go to work drunk in the morning. I just, I didn't know how to stop. I couldn't. Yeah. And I was getting resentful because I felt like other people were getting stuff when it was somebody else's fault about my own. I don't know.

And my husband traveled for his job is I was holding on. And I didn't know any better. I didn't know. I didn't know. I knew I was an alcoholic at that point. Yeah. I would be sitting there mixing my drink going, you're an alcoholic. But I didn't know how to get off of what I've been doing.

I didn't see an end to it. Yeah. I hear a lot of people kind of talk about that phase too where they know there's a problem, whether they call it and, you know, whether they say they're an alcoholic or however they shape it up. But there's almost like this second phase to it to where they just accept that as their reality and just kind of make this commitment or packed with themselves of, I'm just going to do the best I can of being an outsider. alcoholic or a problem drinker.

You know, and it's an interesting spot because you can maybe see here and there sort of the consequences too and how this all plays out. But it's like I'm just, I don't see any way out. So I'm just going to accept this is my life and I'll do the best I can. It's a very hopeless place to be, though. It is, but you know what? I mean, the thing is is that I wasn't good at anything, but I was the best alcoholic that I could be.

Like, I was good at drinking until I wasn't. Like, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I was so ashamed of the things that I had done. And like the whole I had built myself, like, the only way I think I could get up and look in the mirror was by drinking. Because I was a failure. Yeah.

That's how you felt. I was a complete failure. Like, where did I go from there? And it still hurts me to this day because I'm so embarrassed. It's a shame, though, how I was. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that hits, you know? I mean, that's sort of the, one of the things about life,

and you know a whole heck of a lot more than I do, but there's no way to go back and change course, you know, to change how things went, you know? That's the thing that comes up a lot, too. And, I mean, the shame I can pick up on that by the hiding. of everything, right, about, you know, keeping it this big secret. And then that's sort of like that internal battle. It's just torture.

I perceived it as a secret. It was not a secret to anybody else. Everybody else knew what I was doing and would shudder when we had to all get together. It was not clear. Yeah. So when does this turn around for you? I don't know. I wasn't such a bad thing.

place. I'll never forget. My mom's birthday is January 26. I was there. It was the night, the Super Bowl. The factors won. I was so mean to my mom. I rode home, went home. A few days later, my husband was working at a state, and I called him and I said, you need to come home and take me to treatment. And by the time he got home, of course, I said, I'm not going. One last hurrah. He said, you're going. And he took me.

And that was February 2nd of 1997. Wow. What change? Sorry, go ahead. I've been sober ever since. Wow. Great job. I mean, we just completely shifted there, you know, gears, which is great.

From how low things were for you to, never drinking, you know, since then. What changed? You know what I mean? Like someone's listening to this. Like what are the indicators? Where's the hope at that like things can be different in moments that we don't even really realize or necessarily have a plan for? I think it's not one thing and several things working up to it.

So when I wanted to treatment, I don't know what happened. I decided I was going to try it. I don't know what happened. I got, I was in a halfway house for a while. Got sober. I decided I was going to do 90 meetings and 90 days. There was a guy in town that was older and he was like the town drunk, you know, a long time ago, like really literally the bottle brown bag. And my dad had asked him if he would take me to a meeting.

And so after I got out of treatment, he picked me out of treatment. And he picked me up on a Sunday morning. It was like the last person I wanted to be seen in paro with. I am hiding in the seat. And I don't know. He picked me up every Sunday morning and took me to that damn meeting for three years. I started meeting people around the table. I got friends.

I started leading meetings. They always laughed at me because I cried all the time. Imagine that. And there was never a time where I didn't cry. And I just, like, I wanted what he had. Like, he was happy. And I started seeing, even though things weren't great in the beginning, like, they weren't as bad as they were. I don't know how I did it by the grace of God, supporting family husband, one day at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time.

Yeah. It wasn't easy. I lost all my friends. I had to change my playgrounds, playmates. My favorite saying I was, you hang around the barbershop long enough, eventually you got a freaking haircut. I didn't go to any bars, didn't do that stuff.

I really needed to take care of myself and be strong and what I was going to do, reached out to people. I mean, that guy was my sponsor, but he never knew it because I never asked him, but he was. To me, he was my sponsor.

I don't know. I don't know. God helped me a lot. Yeah. One day at a time. I think I started accumulating days and then weeks. And then it was like, if I messed up, I didn't want to, I didn't know if I could ever come back. I started believing what people were saying around the table. Like, I knew after I started drinking again the second time, how much worse it was. And I believed it because I don't know that I would have come back from it. I don't know that I ever would have made it out of that hole. I don't think I would have. Yeah.

So plugging in and getting picked up to that, you know, having somebody bring you to the meetings. And I mean, I think being accountable to something, whether it be a group, whatever it is. I mean, that too. Plus, I think the other thing you had mentioned with your husband seeing something in you that you didn't, I think maybe you surrounding yourself with all these people, maybe they saw something in you that maybe you didn't and that gave you maybe some time to see things you know good within you how did you work through all of that too because I'm so curious about how low you felt and how you feel like you never measured up and like how do you flip that around

to feel good about yourself well it was a number of night it took me a long time at the time the stigma of an alcoholic still was like that and I mean I was 27 years old I would like really I have to go like the rest of my life without drinking like I couldn't imagine it I don't know I got close to people I relied on my family my friends

I met a lot of people on AA I didn't forgive myself I did the steps I talked to people I reached out just kept it simple I took it one day at a time I just I committed I started leaving meetings

I started being there for other people and, you know, I think you need to help other people. I think I really did that too. Yeah, embracing that element of it. I think it was a huge transformation. Like Blackie Eyes used to say, it was like an osmosis. You know, like you sit around the tables and you just form into, they accepted me like family.

In fact, I just texted one of the guys yesterday. And, you know, we've seen each other over the years. After I had my kids, I didn't go to meetings as much as I did. But also, you know, people are so, you have you on here now. You have so many more opportunities for the acceptance of being an alcoholic in so many more ways to get a hold of people and to put your story out there. And there is hope. If I can get sober after all that stuff and I'm alive, there's a reason I'm here.

God wants to be here for a reason. I totally believe that. That's kind of why I wanted to share my story. I mean, it is possible. I mean, I never thought I was going to stay sober for a day. And it's 29 years now. Yeah. How did you come across the podcast after 29 years?

Like, how did that come about? Okay, so I worked at my parents' store. I became my sisters. I stayed home with my kids growing up. while they were growing up and they're 21 and 23 now and my dad passed away four years ago from liver cancer and after they sold the store I said I wasn't working for anybody else so I started my own cleaning business so I clean and I listened to podcasts and this came up and I started listening and I'm like oh my gosh I love this one.

guy. I love what he did. I love, I hear these people's stories and I could share my story. And like, and I felt very passionate about it. Like, I feel bad because I guess I haven't known you. And where I ask that my daughter's like, mom, you don't just ask someone if you can be on their show. Why not? And I hadn't done that. I was like embarrassed going, well, maybe this was wrong. Maybe he doesn't want me on it. But then I'm thinking, well, I'll probably not be good enough at this. And then my whole thought coming into this was like, I'll just go on there.

If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to publish it. I can only go back to other people can see things in us that sometimes maybe we can't see. How else would you know if you don't ask, right? I did because my whole thing was I'll probably not be a good enough alcoholic that he'd want me in. You know, like, I believe in myself a lot more now. I have a lot more of that. I was a wallflower for so many years. And it's like now, I want to help other people.

Starting my own business and doing the stuff that I'm doing, I never would have done anything like that. And I do good. I mean, I have built myself up just by talking to people. Yeah, that's cool. I made a huge shift. You know, I mean, after 29 years to see that this is still something that's important to you.

for me anyway, is encouraging, you know, especially your experience of when you got sober, you know, there was this bigger stigma of being an alcoholic or struggling. And now we're more out here in the open, not really caring what other people think. We're just trying to reach the people who feel like maybe they don't belong or that maybe, you know, they're not worthy and just show them that like, hey, you can't, or maybe even people that have went so far and it feels like, Like no matter what you do, you can never turn this ship around. I always say to people, you can't turn a battleship around in a bathtub.

So you got to get around other people that can help you out. But that's the thing is a lot of people, we know what works. And we could say it from the mountaintop, the rooftop, a million times over. But until somebody on the other side is willing to get out of their own way and reach their hand back out to get some help or support, wherever that may be, meetings, therapy, treatment, communities, whatever it is, that's a tough thing, you know, but I think with your story, too, is like, you can go low and you can turn this thing around as well. I know, it's all possible. And you are worth it. I mean, I have two beautiful children. I am so grateful. My life is wonderful. My husband has been wonderful for me. My family has been

great. Everybody was so supportive when I told them I was going to do this. And, you know, like, I just want to help other people. It is possible. You are worth it. No matter what, God created you and you are worth it. And you're here for a reason. And I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. Just on a quick note. Yeah. A guy that I looked up to that had talked to me that was a friend of my parents just died this past year and he was 50 years sober. And I was at his funeral and I was like, I want to get to that 50 years. And then another person that I cleaned for just passed away. And he had 50 years sobriety. And so it was like, it's really cool.

You know, like it doesn't matter. Like if it's one day or 50 or 100, it all matters. We're only one drink away from a drunk. And we have to be here to support each other no matter what. Yeah, 100%. What do your kids think of, you know, you sharing on the podcast in your whole story? there. You've shared this with them, I'm sure. They were very proud of me. They think I'm gofier than whatever because I, they're like,

I don't, I can't imagine what you'd be like when you were drinking because you're so weird now. I just, I love life and I love being funny and I tell everybody that I'm an alcoholic. I don't really hear anymore. It doesn't bother me. Yeah. And I mean, some people even reflect on it too and sort of share a perspective of gratitude or a gratefulness to kind of go through sort of everything they went through that maybe unlocks a deeper perspective or a deeper level of gratitude on the other side. I don't know. Is that relatable at all? Or would you change things if you could go back? No, I wouldn't be the person that I am today if I didn't go through what I went through. I am grateful for it. And there was a reason that I went through it. And no, I would change a thing, maybe some of the sickness, but, and the pain. But, you know, you can make it. You know, it's a beautiful life.

Yeah. Everybody's going to have something that happens to them. But you can make it and survive. And I've always known I'm a survivor. And that's what I tell my kids. Like, you can make it through anything. Yeah. So true.

So are you still in the small town, Wisconsin then or no? I am. Yeah. Home sweet home, right? I don't live with my family anymore. I have my own house. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

And that's what I said. Being a dad, you're a great dad because you are showing them how good life can be. Yeah. Well, thank you. And thank you so much, Jane, for reaching out and listening to the show. and it's great having you. Thank you so much. I just can't thank you enough for everything.

And thank you for having me on here. And I'm just grateful for you. You're doing a great job. I really admire you. Thank you. And any closing thoughts you have to send out there to somebody who might be struggling? You can do it. If you feel low, pick yourself up, get out there and try.

It's worth it. life is so good. Life is a blessing and no matter what you can make it. Yeah, beautiful. Thank you again so much. Oh, thank you. Well, there it is another incredible episode here on the Sober Motivation podcast. If you have any thoughts or want to share anything with Jane,

be sure to drop it in the comments below. 29 years of sobriety still interested in helping other people. Incredible. Great job, Jane. And I'll see you on the next one.