Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - How to stay sober through the holidays with special guest Sober Dave, Jen Hirst, Luc, and Megan from Sobahsistahs

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

In this bonus episode, I am joined by some amazing sober friends (Sober Dave, Jen Hirst, Luc, and Megan from Sobahsistahs) and we go over why the holidays are such a challenging time to stay sober and we also drop lots of tips on how we remain sober through the holidays. This was an incredible episode that you are sure to love.     Check out the SoberBuddy App: Download HERE Follow the guests: Megan Luc Sober Dave Jen Hirst Sobermotivation

Welcome to Season 1 of the Sober Motivation Podcast. Join me, Brad, each week is my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety is possible one story at a time. Let's go. Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of the Subur Motivation Podcast. This is a bonus type episode where I brought some of my friends to have a conversation about how to stay sober. or get sober through the holidays. First off, we've got Sober Dave, Jen Hurst,

Megan from Sober Sisters, and Luke from Marathon to Sobriety. We've got a few questions we're going to go over today and drop some tips for how we stayed sober throughout the holidays and how we continue to do so. You're going to leave here with some things that you can put into play right away to keep your sobriety intact over the holidays. holidays. Before we even get started today, though, I want to give a huge shout out to you. The listeners of the Subur Motivation podcast. The reviews are nothing short of incredible,

and the feedback is the same. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to check out this podcast. I really hope it's helping you get or stay sober. Now let's get into this episode. The first question I want to ask is, what makes the holiday season so challenging to stay sober? and we'll start with Soba Dave. Hi, Brad. That's a really good question, actually. Recently, I was in London and the UK. And there was a pub that I used to go to at Christmas of all the lads on our Christmas parties.

And there was all twinkly lights and people out in their Christmas hats in the middle of November. And I found it really, really triggering, you know, the celebrations early on. and I realized actually how challenging it was for me when I stopped drinking because there was so many events leading up to Christmas. So I had to create boundaries that would work for me. And that meant missing out on certain things that I feel like I wouldn't be able to go to and telling my friends the reasons why. Some I was honest.

Some I had to tell a little white light too. So I kind of had to plan ahead to be able to get through the festive season. Love that. I love the boundaries part. Luke, what made it so challenging for you maybe early on during the holidays? I think for me, what made it the most challenging was that I was always so concerned about how other people were going to take my sobriety or me not drinking. I was always in my head thinking, you know, what's my aunt?

What's my cousin going to say? You know, just a bit about my background, right? I'm French, Canadian, and Italian. I'll give you how serious of drinking was in our family. Our cousins and I used to do shots and drink before dinner. Like our parents would say, hey, dinner's ready in, you know, two minutes. We would all gather and do shots. So that's kind of like how our family was, very social, like love to have fun.

So I was so worried about what my cousins were. we're going to say at that first event when I wasn't drinking, those triggers, right? It's like the physical triggers and the emotional triggers. I feel like the holidays is mostly those emotional triggers, the family, how are they going to take it? So definitely I struggled a lot at the beginning with that. I hear you 110% on that, Lou. Jen, what are your thoughts? Yeah, I totally fear you with the triggers what people were going to think. I am someone who struggles. I think the biggest for me was social anxiety. I was not someone who drink at the event, really. I drink before to try to calm my nerves about being around people, even family, that it made me nervous. So I would

pregame and then not really drink during the event. So learning to find ways to cope with my anxiety, my pre-event anxiety, which I think many people struggle with is the anticipation of the event, where I think a lot of people are under stress, if you're hosting Thanksgiving, if you're going to Thanksgiving, being around family with different dynamics, especially if these people you used to drink with, now suddenly that you're not drinking of being around alcohol can be very triggering. For me, like I said, was the social anxiety part. So finding ways to cope with that And the FOMO, the fear of missing out, of going against the grain and not choosing to go with and drink and find a different path of I really like to think of turning FOMO into JOMO of what do I get by not drinking now. But I think FOMO is real of being in our minds, in many instances, the only person who's not drinking can create a fear within people of what are they going to think?

that's really what I struggled with as well. Yeah. What about you, Megan? What do you think makes the holidays a little extra challenging for us? So big one, I would say loneliness. You know, I don't live near any family. So I, you know, spend a lot of holidays alone. And you see everybody else with family and having a great time.

And for me personally, so holidays were always a struggle for me. And that's sort of when I really would ramp up my drinking was around the holiday time. And actually, you know, hence my sober date being December 26. And so now in what I did the first couple years, being sober and holidays was I work. I pick up shifts in the hospital. I keep busy so that I'm not alone. I don't isolate myself. For me, that's just, you know, what I do to protect myself.

now that I am feeling stronger in my sobriety. You know, I enjoy the holidays. I'm not trying to run from them. And I make sure that I just, that I have plans and so that I'm not alone. Yeah, I can relate to a little bit of what everybody shared too. The holidays for me were a place where my normie buddies would hang out with their family and I would just get wrecked. So it was an opportunity for me to kind of escape. Plus, there was also like money involved for different holidays and stuff.

so that would really amp things up for me. And then it would be like my big time to escape. I remember Thanksgiving. When I lived in the U.S., I would get Chinese food for myself, tuck away into my apartment, and just be gone off of the races for a couple of days. It didn't have to work.

And, yeah, it was really challenging. And, you know, early on, it was challenging, too, to do things differently. It was really hard when people expected you to do that. People would come back from college and stuff like that, back to the little, you know, back to the little town and expect you to go out and shoot pool and everything all night. And when you're not doing that, then it's a hard thing, right?

It was really hard for me early on too to, I always had the question, why me? Like my buddies would party, they would have a good time. They would do cocaine. I would do cocaine, but I would, like, pretend I was sleeping and get back up and do it all night. Other people would just go to bed and, like, it was like they moved on from it and from the drinking and stuff. And I wondered that early on. It's like, well, the heck is so wrong with me, right? So I can relate to all that stuff. But now let's switch over to like those are some great things to, you know, the great challenges that some of us have had. But what about what can we offer? What advice can we offer to help somebody who might be struggling these holidays or people who maybe want to get sober? I see so often

sober dates around December 20th to January 2nd. Very, very common sober dates. So a lot of people are probably going to get sober these holidays. You know, I hope so. What advice can we give? Let's start out with Luke. So yeah, like he said, the sober date, my sober date was December 31st. So I had just gone through some really dark and rough times, like from like Christmas Eve till like the 28, 29. Like it was on like a two-day bender, 48-hour bender doing a bunch of cocaine, drinking like just really bad, like really, really bad.

So I, you know, I, uh, I came to the realization that I needed to start making some changes. So, I mean, my advice, I guess in a simple way is really about one day at a time. I know it sounds a little very simple, but it is because like the word never still scares me so much. And, you know, when I would start going to these events, so because I got sober, like I said, December 31st. So my first like like holiday wouldn't have been until Easter and April, that was four months in. And I remember around April, around Easter that I, you know, I didn't do it right. I wasn't, I wasn't confident.

Okay. I wasn't confident in saying, I don't drink. I would answer the question like, I'm trying not to drink, or I'm slowing down, or I know it's not good for me. So I showed a lot of weakness. And the fact of the matter is when people hear weakness, like you're drinking buddies, they hear weakness, they're going to pounce all over you. So I struggled because I was weak and they were all over me and then I was really struggling.

So now the way I answer that, people who don't know, I don't drink. drink is I just say, I don't drink. I don't drink. And then often like a fall question may come. And what I, what I tend to do is I, is I tend to kind of not be so serious. Like that's my immediate answer. But then I'll say something like, oh, I peep pretty early in my drinking career and I had to retire. Like something light like that that they would kind of like, ha ha. And then I find usually I started strong with I don't drink. Second one, oh, I had to retire early for my drinking career. and then I find that like that's helped. But I guess what I'm trying to say is you just need to like own it like in your mind.

Like it's a mindset thing. It's a mindset thing. The way you answer those little simple questions is a reflection of I think how you view your own journey. And it can make such a big difference. Wow. That's powerful. That's that's so true. How you're outwardly answering those questions.

And then you just kind of reassure it with yourself. You're like, yeah, I'm on the right path. I just answered that. I feel good about it. I love that. Jen, what do you think? What are some tips for people heading into the holidays? Yeah.

Well, first off, like he said, there's never a great time to get sober. There's never the perfect time. Why not right now? Why not show up during the holiday season as your best self? Sober. Don't wait until January 1st to feel better. Why not feel better? going into Thanksgiving, going into Christmas, just think of how good you're going to feel if you

start your journey today or tomorrow. 30 days in, a week in, I mean, the benefits are amazing. So just have that, like Luke was saying, have that mindset of how good am I going to feel. Don't postpone feeling better, but also decide that you're not going to drink. Make it period. I'm not drinking for the next 24. four hours. I'm not drinking, period. How am I going to do that? Have a plan. But I really like to tell people in visualization as such a powerful tool. Visualize your best self. So Thanksgiving morning, or every single morning, visualize your best self going through the day. This stuff works.

Your brain does not know the difference. If you can see it in your mind, your body will follow. So see your best self showing up sober. Carry yourself through the day, play of the tape all the way through, go through what you're going to say to people. Have that line geared up. Yes, I would love something to drink or I'm already bought my drink. So in my cooler or have a drink in your hands, I like to call it an entrance drink. I bring my calming tea exactly what I have on this call that you guys can't see. I have my entrance drinks. So there's already something in my hands. I like to call. I like to call. I bring my calming tea exactly what I have on this call that you guys can't see. I have my entrance drinks. So there's already something in my hands. I, hand. What does he or she do? How do you carry yourself like Luke O'Sayne? How imagine yourself calm and confident smile. How do I handle a tough situation? How do I handle a relative that I maybe feel uncomfortable around or who drinks? Imagine yourself, play the tape all the way through to when you get home and have a reward waiting for you when you get home because what we're doing is incredibly hard, whether that be a piece of chocolate cake or a bath or your favorite TV show or a great book, have something waiting for you when you get home. And on top of having that comeback line,

have a support system. If you're the only person, if you're the only one in your family who's not drinking, who's making this decision, yes, on Christmas Day that you're not drinking, make sure you have someone in your corner, whether that's a friend or a partner, there's so many communities out there that you can get a part of, but have someone cheering for you in the background to know that you're not alone. And I can mention more, but I'll give the mic over to some other people. But I think visualization deciding that you're not going to do it and playing the tape forward to, oh my God, what a perfect opportunity right now to see how good I can feel for the holidays. Because your presence is a present. It's a present to be present. It's a present to be present.

It's an incredible opportunity to show up and remember what you did. Imagine waking up Thanksgiving or the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and feeling good. I don't have a hangover. And that feels awesome. And just keep taking it that one day at a time every 24 hours. Okay, it's Black Friday. What am I getting to do now? And go on.

Yeah, great stuff. That is incredible stuff as well. Dave, what do you got for us, buddy? I'm really glad I've got to follow those two because that is this awesome advice. And a lot, I can relate to all of that as well. And for me, I was drinking for 40 years. So the thought of even going one day without drinking felt impossible to me.

And what Jen just said, imagine like winding the tape forward. I visualised a remote control and I thought, how will I feel tomorrow? How will I feel the next day? And I even extended it to 30 days, right? That really, really helped me. So over in the UK, we have the big dry January thing that goes on. And I quite often say to my people here, you're going to do one of the hardest periods ahead, which is a huge tick.

If you can get over the next few weeks, you're going to go into dry January, into the new year, 2023 already a few weeks sober you're going to feel great you're going to look better your anxiety is going to feel less your sleep's going to be better your eating routine's going to improve you're going to exercise more more productivity at work better relationships to start now as the other guys said you know there's never a time because we always kind of put things in the way don't we well, we can't give up now because it's Christmas, Thanksgiving's ahead. It's my birthday. There's this, that, and whatever.

So there's no time like the present. Believe in yourself, you know, we're strong people, we're strong human beings. We can do anything we put our mind to. So put your mind to it. Trust yourself and reach out for community as well. This sober community is absolutely incredible. And that's what got me through it. finding like minded people that were doing the same thing made me feel normal you know that that's

where i'm here today um by meeting guys like you on this panel today people near me i've held events in the UK and and it's just incredible so it's positive thinking planning ahead and believing in yourself yeah powerful stuff Megan what do you got for us all right all those were all amazing things. I don't know what I'm left with now. Most importantly, surround yourself with people who support your recovery. With that being said, if you know a certain family member or friend or, you know, somebody is not supportive of it or it's going to be really triggering, just don't go. It's okay to skip out on the parties. You don't have to go to every party just because somebody else wants you to be there. You know, you have to follow your gut, your intuition.

if you feel like it's just, it's too soon, it's too much, stay home, make brand new traditions, help somebody, you know, volunteer possibly. And yeah, so, you know, a lot of playing the tape forward. I love that. But also sometimes for me, I like to rewind the tape and think of some of my worst moments were on Christmas and I try to visualize those sometimes to just remember where I don't want to be and where I was in why it's just so important to do everything to protect my sobriety. Also, you know, again, be prepared. Bring your own drinks wherever you go. I already ordered a couple bottles of alcohol-free wine.

Just for a special occasion, I don't sit at home and drink that. So just for this special time of year that I can show up with my own, you know, bottle of sparkling rosé alcohol-free and I can feel like I'm, you know, part of the gang or whatever. And yeah, just be present and, you know, live in the moment. The last Christmas was just so special for me. I've spent, you know, one year I almost missed Christmas morning when my kids were little. I've talked about that. I barely made it home in time. I didn't get to put the presence under the tree. And I showed up, but I was hung over. And my kids were only two and seven at the time. And, you know, I'll never get that time back. So it's never too late to start and to make all new

fresh memories. Yeah. Wow. Powerful stuff there as well. I think that's what happens to over time, though, as we're drinking and doing other stuff. Is that life passes us by and all these memories and stuff. and not to go to a place where we're going to live in the past. I mean, we're moving forward with all of this. But I think sometimes I even put up a post recently. Sometimes I do reflect back to what things were like and how it was because, like, my brain wants to trick me sometimes. Like, you know, Brad, wasn't that bad, man.

What really wasn't that bad, you know? And it was really bad. It was really bad. And, you know, we've all lost some time to that and stuff. But, like, moving forward, the holiday season, too, there's a lot of downtime. A lot of stuff we talked about here is boredom, isolation. These are all things that keep us in trouble. And the holidays are filled with it because we're off work.

A lot of people might get two weeks off work. You go straight through. I remember when I was working, we would go, we would get from before Christmas, like the 23rd, 24th all the way like the second or third. Depends where the weekend fell, but you had a couple weeks there to find stuff to do. So I love everything everybody said, right, getting connected to the community. doing meetings if 12 steps your gig, jump into some recovery meetings, incredible stuff. But now that the Thanksgiving is coming up, I wanted to hear on a closing question here,

maybe not a closing, but getting towards the end here. I know Dave's got other stuff to do. Dave's a celebrity in the UK. So he'll probably got shows and stuff he's on tonight. So what is everybody grateful for? I really like to hear that because I feel like that's really a pillar for my recovery. is gratitude to be grateful for stuff it keeps me going you know today i'll just share first i'm grateful right now for all of you even giving me the opportunity to have you on here to share this stuff

i'm really grateful for that so thank you so much who wants to go first jen does i do i absolutely do uh and it yeah a gratitude practice is huge and reflecting on that and reflecting on that and reflecting and especially on, again, having this opportunity to share with you guys is something I'm grateful for every day. And I really like to even think it and think of the past 24 hours. What are these little moments that made me smile? And that's when I get really specific. So then I'm on the lookout to find those things. And it wasn't easy in the beginning.

And having my husband take the kids to school so I could get some more time. but especially in this past year, being able to go from a full corporate job into full-time sober coaching has been my dream for five years. And it's when you write your goals down as if they've already happened for five years every single day and you start to see them coming true, it's amazing. It's absolutely amazing. I'm grateful for the position I'm in. I'm grateful to have the confidence to share after many years of kids.

keeping in the closet, I'm grateful to see, to be for persistence, for persistence of never, ever giving up and to continue, no matter how slow or how fast things come, as long as you stick with it and are consistent, it happens, but never give up on your goal. And that's the same with sobriety. Never give up. It's going to, sometimes, a lot of times it's going to happen a lot longer than we think it's going to, we're going to get it. But as long as you don't give up, it's going to work out in the way that it does.

So I'm grateful for the freedom and the flexibility, grateful that I have two amazing children who make me practice the presence, being present. And they're such amazing teachers. I learn something every day for my kids. I mean, kids don't need alcohol and they don't drink and they have the best time. So if you're on Thanksgiving, if you're around kids, hang with the kids, learn something from them, go play with a stick outside, go color. They are talk about being in the present moment.

Kids are fantastic for them. And they're a great opportunity for me to practice patients as well. So I know that's many things, but it's looking at it within the last 24 hours, what brought me joy, what went well in the past 24 hours. And also looking at reflecting this past year of what has trends. inspired makes me incredibly, incredibly grateful, incredibly grateful for the community that's taken place for the women that I've connected with, with Megan, with all of you. You see each other on social media and being able to see each other kind of in real life.

It's amazing. And it continues to grow grateful to see the sober mocktail non-al alcoholic industry booming. That is so fantastic. I am so excited. I just ordered my first non-alcoholic spirit at a steakhouse the other day. And I got so excited like a kid in a candy store just to have the option. I will spend $20 if I can have an option to drink something other than soda. So grateful for the opportunities and more and more every single day that this continues to go on.

We're getting closer and closer to having more options available to us. Yes, that's the truth. Sober is cool. All righty. What are you grateful for these days, Luke? Beautiful, Jen. I love that. I really love that. Everything you said there resonated with me big time. I'm grateful for honestly. Like, there's a lot I'm grateful for. I love that this topic, because I think it's so important to take a step back and like reflect and be thankful and grateful. Because I feel like every single day, right, we're all on the grind, whatever our grind is, we're head down, we're just so, you know, focused on the tomorrow and focused on, you know, providing for our families or whatever it is. We're so focused. So to take a step back, reflect is something that we need to do more. I know I need to do more of that. But I'm,

I'm really grateful for, you know, my family. I mean, the relationships that I have with my wife, okay, my wife and I, she's known me five years when I was using and drinking. And now it's been about six years that I've been sober. So I'm just incredibly grateful of our journey and our relationship, how like sobriety just like, yeah, we still fight, we still argue. No question. That's marriage. But like, we don't argue about my drinking. And it's a different argument. The lows aren't nearly as low. And I'm grateful that, you know, I got sober before my daughter was born. My daughter is three years old. I was sober before she was born. and, you know, being in a household where there was a lot of drinking and the impact that has on a young child, it's hard.

So I'm incredibly grateful that I was able to get sober when I did because it's truly been life-changing. And my last thing I'll say is I'm incredibly grateful for, like, all of you in this community because it's a special thing, right? like my close friends, my family who have my back, but they're not on this journey. They don't get it. They don't. They want to because they love us and they want to be there to support us, but they don't get it.

And that's okay. That's not for them to understand. They just there to support us, however they can. But some people like all of you today, people that I've met, that we just, you know,

have voice memo calls or just support or just phone calls or people that have met. it's like these are the people that we have that unspoken bond with, no judgment. I know what you're going through is hard. I'm so proud of you. I know nothing about you, but I'm proud of you. And you're my friend. We get each other.

That's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And the more connected you are with those like-minded people, it's going to help so much. And that's something that I wish I did when I first got sober because I was in private, right? Jen, we've talked about this before. We were in the closet. Like I never talked about my sobriety. It was so embarrassed.

But this year, December 31st, in January, I just decided I'm going to start talking about it. This, you know, almost 11 months, close to 12 months, I've never been more confident in my sobriety in my six years, my last year. And why? Why? Because I've reached out. I've leaned in. I've connected with so many people. I've educated myself more.

I've listened to podcasts. I've heard other people's stories and I haven't felt alone. Those five years that I did it on my own, I'll tell you, it was hard. I didn't do it right. So I want people to understand that you don't need to be a certain amount of time to make that change. You know, like we're all saying, today's the great day to do it. Like the present of being present is the present. It's beautiful.

So you don't need to wait to make those changes. And I'm just so thankful for what I've gone through. And I know that it's something like we're not out of the world. woods. Like this is something clearly, I feel like just us getting together and talking. I already know I'm going to hang up this call here and I'm going to feel a little bit better than I did before. And that's what it's all about. Just those single moments of connecting, it's absolutely beautiful. So I'm grateful for a lot. Thank you, Luke. Always bringing the fire, buddy. I love it. Dave? Well, I feel all emotional after that, Luke. Thank you for sharing that, mate.

For me, when I look around the squares, it's quite obvious that I'm the granddad on Instagram. So for me, what I'm truly grateful for is my health, right? Because I was drinking for 40 years and I ended up drinking a leap of vodka day. And the doctor took my blood pressure, and he said that actually I'm a walking time bomb that I could have a heart attack any moment. I was on heavy dose of antidepressants. I was on medication for my acid reflux. I had medication for cholesterol. I was literally all over the place of my health. I was 127 KG, which in old money is 20 stone. I couldn't even put my socks on without wheezing because I was out of breath. And as soon as I stopped drinking, within days, literally

days I started to feel better. My mental health started improving. My anxiety reduced. And within a matter of weeks, I could see that I was looking better. I felt more positive. And winding forward four years, I'm 112 KG. I don't take any medication at all. I'm off all my meds.

I feel younger than I did. 10 years ago and I feel really positive. I feel excited for the future. My relationships have all improved with my family and my son. He's 29 soon. All we used to do is go out and get drunk. And now he hardly drinks because he's so proud of me. When we go out, we have coffee or we go to the cinema.

He has sober weekends with his girlfriend. It's had a massive impact on my direct family as well. And I'm really grateful for that because it's an awful thing to say, but I honestly don't think I would be alive today if I was carrying on like I was. So I think at my age of 58, I'm lucky to be here and I've got a good few years in me yet, hopefully. So grateful for you, buddy. Megan? Thank you. I definitely would say I am grateful for the social.

Oba Sista's group, all the ladies in it. You know, there's over 150 of us in our chat group. And they're just my lifeline, you know, again, like I said, I don't have family around here. So these ladies really are like my family. And also, you know, same as Dave, my health. I work in an emergency room. I see really, really sick people every day. And we all just take for granted of just being able to get out of bed.

get in the shower, grab something to eat for breakfast, like, you know, just those little things that people, a lot of people can't do just the basic thing. So it might sound a little cliche, but I really am just so grateful for my health and for this voice and platform that I've been given to help other women that are struggling so that they don't have to feel, you know, how I felt not so long ago. Wow. Amazing. Lots of gratitude around the table here or around the screen, you could say. Well, that's amazing. I appreciate everybody popping on here.

Did anybody have anything they wanted to share for a closing? Is there anything, any one, two, three is that we could give people to say this is a tangible plan to take away to stay sober? Does anybody want to drop something for that? Dave? Yeah, Brad, I would just say, what have you got to lose by giving it a go? You know, like even if it's a week. or two weeks or 30 days.

Give it a go and give it your best shot, you know, make it a non-negotiable and see how you feel at the end of it because that's how I did it. And now I'm four years sober coming up, you know, and that started off with me on day one. And I didn't think I could get through the day. So be brave, go for it. There's nothing to lose.

Yeah, good point. Megan? Yeah, kind of on the same thing as, Dave was just saying, but I would have to say if you've never been to a meeting before and it's something that you've either been afraid to do or you just don't know where to go, go, because that's what changed everything for me when I went to my first ever Zoom meeting two years ago and I realized then that I wasn't alone. So message any of us. We will find a meeting for you and just go and do it. And you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

True. Luke, what do you got for us? I would say, so we know, I think we'll 100% agree. So, it's not just not using, not drinking, it's not just abstinence, right? It's a mindset. That's what sobriety is for me. It's a mindset and it's a lifestyle. So for me, what's really helped is once, you know, once I made those changes and I struggled a lot, it actually took me three years of my sobriety to really change mentally.

So you don't need to do that. But anyways, for me, it was. finding another passion or something because you're going to have time back. You're going to get time back. You're not going to be out as late. You're going to wake up earlier. You're just naturally going to have time back. So be open-minded to different experiences.

Don't be scared to try something new, something different, you know, getting outside, going for a hike, doing things that you normally would not have done if you're drinking and hungover all the time and immerse yourself in that. And now that I found my passion, which is, you know, running, running, and it's my running and my sobriety is my identity. I identify as a sober person. I identify as a runner. These two components of my identity, I will fight tooth and nail for them because I, I cherish

them so much. So you don't need to wait three years, four years, five years of sobriety to make that identity shift. You can do that today. And the moment you make that identity shift in your mind, that moment will just create so much better consistency for you. And it's hard. Acknowledging that what you're going through is hard. There's a reason why it's so hard.

There's a reason why because it's worth it. If it was easy, you could snap your fingers and get sober. It wouldn't be that beautiful thing because it's so easy. You literally have to prioritize it. make it your number one priority. And when you do that and you achieve that feeling, that high that we're all chasing when we're using, we're drinking, it's that high we're chasing.

We're all high on life. I can feel. I'm looking at all your faces here. Like this is what it's all about. So you can totally do it. Awesome. Love that. Jen?

I love that. I absolutely love that. And going off really what Dave said is, what's the worst that could happen? What is the worst that could happen? What if it all works out? What if this was one of the best decisions you ever made? Knowing that you're not going to die from going into something and feeling uncomfortable. It's okay. I tell this all the time to the women in my group. It's okay to feel uncomfortable. You don't need to drink over it. It's okay to feel feelings and do it anyway.

You can feel nervous and you can feel excited at the same time. You can hold space for both. both and even some tips going into the Thanksgiving holiday. Don't be afraid to arrive late. Arrive late, leave early. Set those boundaries. A lot of drinking happens before the event. So arrive late, leave early, play that tape forward. It's so, we hear it all the time, but it's something I still do to this day. I like Megan, I rewind the tape to my last drink. It happens like that. I rerun the tape to my last drink. And I fast forward to what I'm going to lose. My children are my biggest, biggest reason. I got sober so I could meet them and I stay sober so I do not lose them. They are my biggest reminder to stay in this. And have a plan with anything,

have a plan going into it, not to freak yourself out, but also like Megan said, pack a cooler. What are you going to be drinking on Thanksgiving? Don't go into it expecting the host to have something for you. Have a drink in your hands. It grounds you. It makes you feel comforted. If you'd like, have it be hot because that's really comforting. It triggers your vagus nerve. And it really calms you down. So I always say just have a plan. Pack your own drinks. Never underestimate the power of your breath. Just like we did before this call, take a big deep breath and breathe out. You can use it whenever you'd like. It is the first thing you're born with and is the last thing you die with. You always have your breath.

So please know it's okay to feel uncomfortable. And you can do, like Luke said, the hard, and I think this is from a league of their own, the hard is what makes it great. The hard season, many things are hard in the beginning because there's something you've never done before. So embrace and accept that it might be hard, but also what is your mindset going into it? Henry Ford, I believe, said, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. If you think you can do this, you absolutely can.

You can freaking do it. Your mindset, it begins in the belief you have of yourself. If you go into the Thanksgiving holiday, if you go into today thinking it's going to suck, you're going to find reasons to confirm that thought is true. You're going to be on the lookout. See, I told myself it's going to suck. I told myself it's going to be hard. But if you have a different mindset, say, what if it all?

works out. I got this. I can do this. And I don't need to drink over this. It's hard because it's supposed to be hard in the beginning because it's new. And that's the one way to break and implement a new habit is to go in and do it anyway. So believe that you can do this. You got this. You have the power within yourself. And you don't have to do it alone. Get in community, have that support behind your back and just keep playing that tape through. Yes. Great quote, by the way. I love that. I use it all the time. Yeah, that's be I saw Luke likes that too. It reminds me of a thing to when I first started my entrepreneur journey and I quit my job and I was like, yeah, I'm going to do this stuff.

And it's not really related to recovery, but it's the same sort of mindset. Instead of preparing myself for if things weren't going to work, when I did something, I started to prepare myself for things working. And a lot of the time early on, they didn't work. A lot of things didn't work. But things started to work and I was ready for it. So it was like for sobriety too, start preparing that it's going to work. Like what's your life going to look like? Start getting up early.

Start spending more time with the kids. Start getting engaged with different hobbies. Like start preparing your life for like, yeah, I'm like I'm living a sober life. This is what I'm going to do. Stop going to the pubs. Stop going to the liquor store. I saw the funniest meme the other day from a, it was like a pretend liquor store. clerk and it was like I wonder if they think I've died because I stopped going to the liquor

story. I thought it was pretty. I thought it was good. Some people have that like different type of comedy and our recovery space. But I will all stop there. Thank you everybody for doing this. This is incredible. This is going to help so many people. The response, the messages, the emails, my inbox is filled with emails from people from this simple little podcast that all of you have been a part of that they appreciate you, you all sharing your stories and everything. So thank you so much. I know this is going to make a difference. And I think our big goal here, I heard it a couple times in that conversation. And my big goal and mission with the whole sober motivation thing, it was never meant to be this. It was never meant to really be much. It just sort of turned into

something. There's a little bit of a journey there. But it's to help people feel less alone. because I feel like when I first started, I felt like I was the only one and I've taught with Megan and she felt like that too. I think everybody has a little piece of that. If that's not a big part of the story, but the whole goal here is to let people know they're not alone.

We come from all different shapes and sizes and everything. We all struggled with this stuff. We found a way out. And I mean, for me, I'm nothing special. You know, I found a way out. believe everybody else can too. Well, my friends, there is another episode in the books. I hope that everybody enjoys their holidays for our U.S. American friends.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving. I really hope that you find this episode helpful on your journey through navigating the holidays, whether you're looking to get sober or stay sober. I hope that you can take a few things from this podcast from these incredible guests and use it on your journey because like Dave said, there's always going to be another holiday. There's always going to be another celebration

and sobriety just has to be a part of your life. So look at it like that. Thank you again too for everybody, for all the new listeners as well. Would really mean the world if you just took two seconds out of your day and dropped the review for the podcast on the platform that you're listening to it on.

And if you have any questions, be sure to get a hold of these people. We've got Sober Dave on Instagram, Jen Hurst on Instagram, Luke is Marathon to Sobriety on Instagram, and Megan is at Soba Sisters, and they're all so willing to help answer questions, point you in the right direction. And you can always message me at Sober Motivation on Instagram, and Sober is cool on Facebook.

Until the next episode. I'm out.