Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - I Didn’t Think Alcohol Was the Problem — Until I Lost Everything

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

If you’re trying to quit drinking or wondering if you have an alcohol problem, this story will hit home.Greg shares how a good childhood and successful career turned into alcohol addiction, denial, psych wards, and jail—and how he finally got sober.In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, Brad sits down with Greg to talk about the reality of high-functioning alcoholism and how quickly things can escalate.On the outside, Greg had everything together. But underneath, he struggled with not feeling like he fit in—and alcohol became the solution.Over time, drinking went from social to something he relied on. Denial and ego kept him stuck, even as things got worse. After a series of personal losses, everything spiraled—leading to isolation, mental health struggles, and eventually being arrested and spending six months in jail.Even then, he didn’t believe alcohol was the problem.In this episode, we cover:High-functioning alcohol addiction and denialThe role of ego in drinking and recoveryMental health, psych wards, and rock bottom momentsWhat it takes to finally quit drinkingHow to rebuild your life in sobrietyIf you’re struggling with alcohol, questioning your drinking, or looking for real sobriety stories, this episode is for you.Check out this episodes Sponsor: https://sobrsafe.com/pages/sobrsureGreg on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gregdownscoach/Sober Motivation Community: https://sobermotivation.mn.co/Support the Podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/sobermotivationContact me anytime: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to season five of the Sober Motivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guest and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We're here to show sobriety as possible. One story at a time. Let's go. Greg had a good childhood, supportive parents, and a career that was taken off. From the outside, everything looks solid. But underneath it, he never really felt like he fit in.

And alcohol became the thing that made everything feel okay. After losing so many people close to him in a three-year stretch, alcohol was the only thing that made sense. What started as confidence slowly turned into denial, ego, and losing control until it led him to psych words getting arrested and a decision. And this is Greg's story on the Sober Motivation podcast. Right before we get to Greg's story here, I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Sober Safe.

For many people, the period after rehab, or the moment you decide to rethink your relationship with alcohol can feel like the most uncertain part of the journey. Feeling supported and accountable can make all the difference. Sober Safe, Sobershire Band is a discrete wearable risk band that provides insights into your alcohol use that helps you stay connected to your goals and support network. Through the band's companion app, users can voluntarily share updates with trusted friends, sponsors, or family members, adding an extra layer of accountability in everyday life. Learn more at Sober, Save,

dot com slash sober sure and i'll drop that info down to the show notes of this episode now let's get to Greg's story welcome back to another episode of the sober motivation podcast today we've got Greg with us Greg how are you I'm good Brad how are you yeah man I'm doing well great to have you happy to hear your story here on the podcast yeah thank you so what was it like for you growing up for me childhood was really good grew up in a small town up in central Florida Two really supportive, loving parents really can't complain about them. They did a great job for us. We lived in a small town, and even in the small town, we lived about 30 minutes away.

I grew up on a dirt road. But even with that, you know, parents would always take us to sporting events, Boy Scouts, keep us pretty busy. And, you know, alcohol was around. My parents drank, but it was never like a big problem for us. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that, too. Yeah, a lot of people share that too on the show.

I think that there's this idea of somebody who struggles with alcohol, you know, later in life that they came from some sort of, you know, rough background. And I mean, that is a lot of people's story, but there's also a lot of the story of what you share from your memories and everything was pretty good. What's that like growing up in a small town off a dirt road? Like that experience. It was fun. You know, you had to find a lot of different ways to keep yourself busy.

And we were outside a lot. played a lot of sports and did a lot of activities. But for me, even from like a very early age, I felt very kind of uncomfortable in my own skin, right? Like it was one of these things where like I just never felt like I fit in and, you know, living on this dirt road a little bit out of out of town. Like even I remember as a like as a fifth grader, I was hesitant to invite friends over because I was kind of like embarrassed of the town we live, the part of town we lived in. And it's like looking back on it now, it's so funny. It's like, what was I trying to like uphold as a fifth grade?

Like, what reputation did I have to worry about? But, you know, that kind of feeling of uneasiness sat with me forever growing up. And it was never really like cool enough to be with a cool kid, smart enough to be with the nerds. I wasn't a good enough athlete to be with the jocks. And so, yeah, it was just always this like feeling of not fitting it and kind of feeling alone. even in a big room of people. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that, too.

That's a common trend, I'm sure. As you know, a lot of people share an experience like that in one way or another. Do you have siblings or like the siblings growing up or it's just you? Yeah, younger brother. We're still pretty close to this day. And yeah, I'll tell you a little more about kind of his stories because we're kind of woven in together. But yeah, great, great family life coming up. Yeah.

And you picked up on that, like, in grade five of, I mean, you mentioned all of sort of the groups of identity, right? Like the smart people and the sports players. I mean, where did you find yourself then, if not into any of those groups, just kind of alone? Yeah, more or less, or with a small group, right? You know, a couple of people that I, you know, could really relate to. And then for me, my first drink of alcohol was probably like 12 or 13, but I didn't really start drinking heavily until I was probably 16 or 17. It was that point where it was like, man, the alcohol can make me be like who I want to be. You know, it gives me that kind of sense of confidence.

It lets me be a little bit louder, a little bit funnier, it lets me talk to the girls. When I got into college, it really took off and gave me that sense of ease and comfort. And I became president of my fraternity. It was helping with a lot of fraternity recruitment for the whole university. And alcohol served me well for a long time for kind of another 10, 15. years after I started drinking. It was around and it was always kind of planning on when am I going to get my next drink. Started with just Friday nights, Saturdays, you know, wouldn't drink on the school nights. And then it would just get to a point where I was like, okay, well, Thursday nights are kind of like the Friday junior. You know, the Fridays at work aren't too bad. So I can start drinking on Thursday nights. And instead of waiting until happy hour, I was like, well, I can have one or two at lunch and just kind of continue to escalate from there. Yeah, sort of that slippery slope where it just becomes more and more, maybe normalized in life, more acceptable.

When you go back to your high school days when you first drink at 12, I mean, what was that like? Was that sort of just checking things out? Yeah, it was just like, let's sneak a couple of drinks in here and there, like the party, the Fourth of July party or Christmas party, that sort of thing. Let's test it out and see how this kind of feels that sort of thing. Yeah, that rebellious. Yeah, yeah. Not even maybe a teenager yet, but disrebellious. Yeah.

I mean, and I think that's pretty common for people. Like a lot of people jump on the show and say like parents gave them a sip or, you know, saw what the adults were doing a right of passage sort of thing. And I mean, I think there's a lot of people too who probably do that and don't, you know, maybe end up where we did with all of drinking too. Like you just don't really know at the time, obviously. Yeah. How things are going to play out.

But you were able to connect the dots to find some relief. It sounds like when you were 15, 16, like alcohol equaled relief from maybe anxiety or overwhelm or insecurities or, you know, that stuff. Yeah, yeah, totally. It was that kind of outlet that I needed, right, that I was looking for. This is making me feel better and I like feeling better. So let me just keep doing it and let me have more of it because the more I have, the better I feel, right?

Yeah. Any consequences for you? like anybody's saying, hey, well, hold on, Greg. This is getting a year now. You know, not at that age. Life got kind of harder later. From 2017 to 2020 over this three-year period, I had a lot of loss in my life.

My dad died. One of my wife's best friends passed away. We had another friend that had passed away and went missing in the Dominican Republic. Another friend that had taken his own life. And then my mom passed away. And then you had asked about my brother. He was in an accident and unfortunately killed a young girl and a DUI driving accident. And this was all within three years of each other.

And it was just like, man, I can't believe all of this. And then COVID's going on at the end of this run. And I started to take this like just kind of jaded view of the world where it was like, by short, I'm going to just squeeze everything I possibly can out of it. And the whole YOLO mentality and I was like, well, I'm just going to drink. I don't care who it hurts. what it does. And that's when drinking really started to get bad for me. But it's funny, actually, about like six months ago, I found an old journal that I had, and I started reading it. It was one of

those five-minute journals. And at the end of every day, you write, what do you want to improve on? And at the end of each day, I wrote, I need to drink less. I want to drink less. And that journal, I looked back, was from 2016. It was from a year before all of that run of unfortunate things happened. So I was like, man, like, I knew I had a problem before all of that happened. I just kind of used that as even more of an excuse to really just kind of drown my sorrows. Yeah, to ramp things up. Wow. Man, that is a busy three years of life. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was hard. And for the alcohol just helped me numb it, right? It was insane kind of thing as back to the high school days, right? I didn't feel good. Alcohol made me feel better. And that's what I would turn to. It didn't really do.

any therapy. I didn't really talk to anybody. I was in my early 30s at that point. It was hard to relate to a lot of people that hadn't lost their parents. Really, my whole family was gone in a very short period of time. And so it was hard. It was really hard. Yeah. And when you look back at that stage, too, was there something that you could put a finger on preventing you from saying, hey, maybe I should talk with somebody about everything that's going on? Yeah, you know, I think it was just ego and pride, right? You know, I had been very successful in my professional career. I had been kind of working my way up.

The finance corporate ladder thought that I had life under control, right? I was a smart guy. I have a master's degree. I was in my line of business. I was in the wealth management world. And, you know, I had a lot of really smart, wealthy people taking my advice. And so my ego would just was through the roof and thought, all right, well, I can do all of these other things in life so I can get my alcohol under control too. And a little did I know that

that was that was not possible. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a good point you make there too because I mean a lot of guests on the show and a lot of people out there, I'm sure listening outside of their drinking things look good. I mean, there's that interesting connection there between like high functioning life and drinking alcohol. And my guess is you're you're always pressing on the gas. Alcohol is sort of the little relief or the escape from all of it or to quiet down the stress or the noise. It's a place to really slow down. I mean, that's what it does to us anyway, right? It slows us all down. Yeah, you know, it was almost like another kick to my ego. It was like, oh, well, I'm a functioning alcoholic. You know, look at how much I can get done, even though I drink so much. Like, look at how

great I am, you know. I remember going out to happy hour with people from work and they'd have two drinks and I'd have six. You know, like, oh, well, you guys just drink slow. You need to get on my level. I just continue to feed and feed inside of my own head. Yeah. And I mean, those can be things that are kind of celebrated too. I think so in my social circles, especially in college. I mean, the more reckless you were, the more you could drink, that was just great for a guy like me who had no sense of belonging

and felt really so bad about myself to have other people kind of high-fiving the behaviors, right? Kind of co-signing all of the stuff. I surrounded myself with, you know, probably not the greatest people back then, too. When we got together, we're all co-signing each other's BS, right, to do all of this stuff, this recklessness. But I was under the impression, too, like, of course I would wake up from all of this. This is the, you know, experience at the time. And I didn't at that time.

I thought I would just flip a switch and start a career and all this stuff. And that wasn't the case at all. Going back a little bit, too, though, kind of before this 2017 to 2020 stretch, what's the story on how this kind of snuck up on you? It sounded like, you know, the college experience, I think we can easily justify that is, you know, we were out of it. But I think it's really interesting sort of that what happens when we leave college and then we're like, okay, we're not like in college anymore. But some people share they're kind of still living like they were as far as they're drinking. What was

that experience like for you? Yeah, the drinking just became like what we did socially. You know, all the events that we would do, everything was centered around drinking. It was, okay, we're going to go watch this game. So which bar are we going to go watch the game at? We're going to go to this concert. So which bars are we going to go drink at before the concert? You know, everything, just our entire social life, were revolved around when we were going to get our next drink and where we were going to get it from. And that just, you know, continue to feed on itself. Yeah. Yeah. Were you conscious of this at the time, like realizing, hey, everything I'm doing involves drinking and we're planning drinking and we're always wanting to be drinking. Yeah.

No, no, not conscious of it at all. Yeah. Yeah, and that's kind of one of the things I pick up to, sort of the sneakiness of it all is that it just makes its way into sort of every area of your life. I mean, over years and all these events. And I taught with a lot of people and they say, I didn't even really care about the game anymore or the concert anymore. I just drinking was number one. Yeah.

The concert was just sort of the excuse. I used to love that too, though, like the college basketball days, college football days on Saturday, NFL was Sunday. I felt like I could kind of blend. in with a lot of the non-heavy drinkers. Like, they would drink, but they would get on with their life. But I love that because then I could drink, start early on Saturday, blend right in with the crowd and say, yeah, I love basketball.

I love football. I never, I didn't care about any of that stuff. I just, it just, maybe in my mind, I felt like less alone or having less of a problem of like, hey, this is what everybody's doing. So I'm good. Yeah. You know, for me, boredom is a big trigger. when I'm bored, I want to go do something.

And for me, doing something was going and sitting at the bar. And, you know, I would just be like, okay, well, I'll go to the brew house down the street and I'll sit in front of the TV and I'll watch the game and I'll make small talk with the bartender or the other people around. And now I'm doing something, right? And it's like, man, like, I'm not really, I could just be easily watching it at home and not drinking and doing the same, you know, really getting the same thing. but in my head that it was my justification. And now I'm out, I'm talking to people, I'm being social, so it's not bad. Yeah. Yeah, the things that we kind of convince ourselves of, too.

I mean, the bar scene is kind of interesting. Like, you feel, I did anyway. I felt like a sense of belonging there. You know what I mean? You go to the same place. People know you. They know your drinks. Like it feels like there's something bigger there.

I mean, I think when we peel back the layers, like people are just doing their job and I mean it's based off getting tips and like in so they're just like being overly friendly that's what they're there to do but I think I had a perception of it as something different I just remember the early days when I would walk into a bar and the weight of the world would be on my shoulders the second the door opened up and you just kind of feel the vibe and it felt like time just stopped you know like every I was going to get my beer and it was like the anticipation and it was just that was almost a big part of the process as well. well kind of walking in there and everything's sliding away yeah oh totally it's but you know it's

it's wild like i thought that that's where my social life was right i thought the bartenders are my friends i thought the people at the bar are my friends but it's you know it's been over a year and a half since i've had a drink those bartenders aren't checking in on me to see how i'm doing you know what i mean like they're like hey man where you been like it's yeah they're doing their job like you said and they're taking care of the people that are there but yeah it was that that that false sense of fitting in and wanting to find some connection that I thought I was finding. Yeah. And that's another thing that I always hit home on is that alcohol is sort of that cheap entry to connection.

How much depth is there to those connections we make? Like your bartender sort of story there. Like I think we realize with time, they're not a whole heck of a lot. But it's like you just, you show up at a bar and you're drinking and then you can, you loosen up a little bit everywhere, where everybody around us is a little bit loose and we can start making connections. Like that situation, you know, in your 30s can be really uncomfortable in other places, you know, dog park or coffee shop. You think you're probably not going to roll up on people.

Hey, guys, how's it going? And that's another thing I think for, you know, I'm relating to you a lot here with that sense of belonging and maybe trouble connecting with people without the alcohol. I'm relating to that a lot. And I think for me, that was just sort of an easy way in. As long as me and the other person drank, we could just kick it off. Yeah. We had that common.

But it's just not based off a whole heck of a lot. Did you go to the bars a lot? I mean, that was a thing for you. Are you single? You're single at this time? No, no, married at the time. I'm still married today. But yeah, no, I was much more of a bar drinker.

I wanted to be out talking to people than I did sitting at home. You know, that was my go-to. I enjoyed the, like you said, the social aspect of it. You know, it made me feel like I wasn't alone. What does your wife think about the trips to the bar? I think she, you know, especially towards the end, she was starting to get pretty worried about me, you know, after that string of events that, you know, the 2017 to 2020,

that, like I said, the drinking really started to pick up. Of course, I started acting out in other ways. I'm not being it particularly. good husband. My health is starting to deteriorate. I'm putting on a lot of weight. At one point, you know, it was 38 and I got diagnosed with AFIB. You know, my heart rate was just erratic. And I went to see the doctor and, you know, he's telling me, he's like, man, you're my youngest patient by a couple of decades. He's like, people in their 30s don't get AFID unless you're really beating your body up. And, you know, it was still another couple years before I finally, like,

did something about it, but, you know, yeah, it started to really take a toll on life and on our relationship in particular. Yeah. Yeah. So you went to see your doctor there and do you guys have a conversation about drinking? I mean, is that part of it? I don't know much about that, but is that playing? Yeah.

Of course. And, you know, he's like, how much do you drink? And, you know, I lie and I tell them, you know, a number way lower than I drink. What do you tell him? What do you think? I probably tell them, like, five to ten a week or something. like that. And, you know, it's five to ten at night. But, you know, I don't want to admit it, right? And so, yeah, it got pretty, pretty out of control. Yeah. So that was a, that was sort of a,

you know, thing where your kind of health comes into the picture about how this is affecting you. I mean, let me know your experience, though. I feel like growing up, I didn't really know, now this sounds so naive. And I think we have moved a lot further in this direction. I didn't know alcohol caused any problems with health or anxiety or anything? I had no idea. Did you throwing up? No, no clue. It wasn't on my radar at all. And, you know, even when I started having the palpitations, you know, I just thought I didn't make the alcohol connection. I thought maybe I'm just dehydrated or, you know, I worked out too hard or something. You know, I just didn't make sense until I finally saw him. And he said, you know, this can really be

brought on by alcohol and caffeine. And at that point, that's all I was drinking, you know, coffee in the morning to get me to half the hour. And then I'd be drinking the rest of the day and, you know, hardly ever took a sip of water. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting, too. I had a buddy of mine and he liked to drink a lot. And I asked him, I said, do I used to work with this guy?

And I said, do you ever drink water? And he was like, literally, he told me, like, for maybe a week sometimes he wouldn't drink water. Yeah. And I think he was serious. But you wouldn't go weak without drinking water. But I think he was serious. And I was like, I couldn't imagine that. Yeah, no, that's crazy. But, you know, like you said, you just, I get so wrapped up. I'm not thinking about taking care of myself. You know, I'm just worried about when's the next drink coming. And that's all that my mind is, is thinking about and not worrying about, you know, the physical consequences at that point. Yeah. And things in this space of your life. I mean, career is going well. That stuff is still moving forward, right?

Yeah. So up until kind of the end of 23, early 24, things had been okay. But, you know, at that point, I, like I said, I was not being a particularly good husband. I had left the job that I was working in at the end of 23. So when 2024 came around right at the beginning of the year, I wasn't working. I had some money saved up. My wife and I weren't on great terms at that point. I kind of alienated myself from a lot of friends. And like I said earlier, boredom is kind of a trigger for me. So I've got all this spare time and, you know, enough money to just go and sit at the bar literally all day at that point.

And, you know, things got – that kind of six-month stretch at the beginning of the 24 was when things really got out of control for me. And it got to a point, you know, where I was alone. I was drinking alone a lot. And, you know, I had messed up a lot in my life. And I started to feel like such a complete failure. You know, I felt like I had let my dad down because when he passed away, you know, I'm the oldest of the family. I'm supposed to be kind of the man of the family.

And, you know, my mom passes away kind of under my watch, right? And my brother has his accident and ends up in prison and I'm supposed to be the good influence and I'm not there to help him in his darkest times. And, you know, my wife and I are not in good terms. So I'm failing as a husband. I'm failing as a son. I'm failing as a friend. You know, and I just, it got pretty dark where I just wanted to end it, you know, and ended up a psych ward. And, you know, I'll never forget the psychiatrist they're asking these again.

You think you have a drinking problem. I said, no, I don't have a drinking problem. I just have a people problem. You know, if everybody would just do what I tell them to do, everything would be okay. It's not my drinking. It's them. And, you know, what a jaded view of the world. And, you know, within 24 hours of leaving, that place, I'm back drinking again and back at the bar.

And thinking that that's going to solve all my problems, it's pretty scary what your mind can do. Yeah. Yeah. And when he asked you the question, it's, it's interesting in picking up in different people's stories, like the lengths that we will go to defend alcohol being in our life. Yeah. But realizing, I think, looking back, the questions that a lot of these people are probably asking us, they already know the, like, they know. They've seen it before, experience. But this is the thing when it comes to the drinking is, it doesn't work out because it's everybody else's idea or because everybody else thinks we have a problem or everybody else tells us that we need to sober up. They notice it long before maybe we do or we're willing to do anything differently. Yeah, I had so many of those encounters with people. I mean, my whole, my goodness, like probably five years, I would be in front of doctors, in front of judges, in front of everybody else that would probation officers. I mean, so many interventions, right, that would just say.

my parents that would just say, come on, man, this is a serious problem. Your behavior in general is a serious problem. And if you have any goals in life, you're never going to achieve them because of the way you're living in it. But in my mind, I thought like I was living. It's so wild. I thought, you know what? This is life. I'm living.

Things are good. Yeah. You know, and from that point on, six weeks later, I'm back at that same psych ward, back in front of the same doctor, same thing. issues. And at that point, you know, I'd done some things that I knew I was going to get in some legal trouble for and ended up, you know, the morning of August 5th, 2024, getting arrested in my front driveway by a bunch of unmarked cars and my wife's there watching me get stuffed in the back of a car. And I end up, you know, end up doing six months in jail and, you know, got out at the beginning of February of 25, you know, a little over a year ago. But that jail

experience, you know, it changed me, right? It was the wake-up call I needed. You know, it was, it was finally, it was the rock bottom, right? You know, it was, here I am. I'm this relatively successful professional, never been in any real trouble in my life. I get thrown into the kind of the max security side of the jail with 31 other men. Half of them are there on murder charges. One guy gets sentenced to life. Another guy gets 40 years, guys that I'm in there with. And I'm just scared out of my mind.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. There was a couple of moments in jail that really, like I said, kind of changed things for me. One was one of the first days they moved us to a new, a new, block the jail and I walk into this two-man cell and there's a little card sitting on the desk. And I walk in in this card. It has a Bible verse, Jeremiah 29-11 and says, I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you, but to prosper you and to give you hope in a future. It's like, man, what are the odds of me picking up that card? But I happened to walk into that cell.

there could have been 31 other guys that walk in and pick that up. And I'm the one that pick it up. And it was like, okay, like this is a moment, right? This is like that kind of fork in the road. Like, where do you want to go? What are you going to do with your life? Like I could really easily go down one route or I can say, okay, I have a problem. I need to go get help.

And what am I going to do? And that was a turning point for me. And then about a month or two later, One of the guys that I was in there with was going to an AA meeting at the jail. And he convinces me to go with him. And so we go and the guy at the jail that brings the meeting in, he gets up and he tells my story, financial advisor, the whole background, the whole feelings, everything. I'm like, man, this is crazy. What are the odds that this guy has my story talking at the jail.

And so I go up to him afterwards. I ask him, you know, where does he go? like I need to go when I get out. And he tells me he goes to this clubhouse three minutes from my house. It's like, wow. Like what are the odds? Again, right? What are the odds?

And, you know, so when I got out a little over a year ago in early February, I went to that clubhouse and I went to that meeting, you know, and I raised my hand and I asked for help. And it really started this new journey for me and just forever grateful for the guys and women in that room that have really helped me. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, fork in the road. That's it. Going back to the scene of you getting arrested there, too, I mean, what's going through your mind there? I mean, from somebody who's never been in trouble and now, you know, you are. Even at that point, my ego is still through the roof, right? I'm like, okay, well, I'll just go and I'll bail myself out. I'll get bailed out in the morning. And so, you know, I'm like, all right, we'd had a lawyer because I'm

knew this was kind of coming and I'm like, all right, well, let's just, you know, we'll get the best lawyer we can get. We'll pay a lot of money. And that's, I'm okay with that because I don't deserve this, right? This has been brought on by other people and I'm the victim, right? That's my mentality. And it's, and, you know, it humbled me and I needed to be humbled. It was, it was exactly what I needed. But it was scary, you know, the ride down to the jail, you know, 20, 30 minutes from my house. And the whole time, I'm like, all right, what do I do? I can't show any fear.

I can't be nervous. I, you know, I've got to, like, have, hold myself up and put it up on the inside. I'm shaking in my boots the whole time. It was quite the experience. Yeah. Well, it sounds like it. And, yeah, that's the thing, like, to try to be like, I'm not going to be nervous. But, I mean, you're going to be nervous anytime something's new, right?

Right? And how are you going to, you know, a lot of that, too, is not, you know, exactly what people see on TV, right? On how things go. I mean, I was under, you know, because I got arrested down three, four, five times, spent a year one time in jail. And, you know, it's interesting how it all kind of plays out. And I mean, I remember going to AA meetings too. And I would take these little courses and stuff. I mean, ultimately at the time, it helped me out. But I was just looking for something to do just because, them in everything else. But it planted a seed in one way or another of like, hey, this is, this is kind of, this is all possible. You know, and you kind of get in there. I mean, when does, when do you connect the dots, though, here? Because you're getting arrested. Drinking is not really, it's, I mean, you kind of know it's a problem, it sounds like,

but not really willing to really do anything about it, maybe up to this point. When do you connect the dots that if I don't want to go through these experiences or live this life of the site? words and feeling this way about myself, I have got to quit drinking. I mean, was there like some moment or some thoughts that went into that? You know, I think it was in while I was in jail. You know, I think there was, like you said, there's a lot of free time. And it was like, okay, I don't want to do this again. And the things I'd done was all fueled by alcohol and that got me into this place. But even when I got out, I had an ankle monitor on. And so I was limited and kind of where I could

go and A meeting is one of the places I could go. And so it was like, well, I'll go to the meetings because I, you know, I probably have a problem and it's something to do, right? And but when I, when I got there, you know, like I said, I raised my hand and this man comes up to me and he, I'll never forget. He goes, hey, man, I like your jewelry. And he's talking about my ankle monitor. And, you know, we end up talking and I could just relate to him right away. And he tells me about some of the things he was struggling with and was like, and he said, all right, he's like, do you want to get better? You know, do you want your life to improve?

And he's like, keep coming back and keep coming to meetings, keep sharing. And once I started to see, you know, they talk about, right, look for the similarities, not the differences. once I started to see the similarities in everybody's stories, that's when I finally started to, let's say, okay, I really do have a problem here. But it took a couple of weeks for it to really click. Yeah. Explain that a little bit more, too, for anybody that might be listening, and that's sort of his new. You know, look at the similarities, not the differences. Like, what did that look like for you? Yeah. You know, so this clubhouse we go to is a pretty big one, you know, the meetings, over the 530 meetings. almost every day, there'll be 80 people in there.

And for me, I'm looking around and I'm seeing all of these people. And it's a mix of older, younger genders and everything. And I felt kind of that same feeling I felt as a 15, 16 year old, right? Like, I don't belong. I don't fit in. I can't relate to any of these people. Again, my ego is telling me, like, I've been this successful professional. You know, I'm just going to go to this room with a bunch of drunks that have problems.

like they're not like me. I'm not like them. How can I relate to them? How are they going to help me? And, you know, and then all of a sudden you start hearing people's stories and you start, they start talking and now they're sharing the same emotional things that I felt. You know, the physical stories are all slightly different, right? But I could feel the same shame, the same guilt, the same fears that I could relate to. And that's when it finally cliques. was like, wow, like, everybody in this room, there's something about them that I can connect to. And at the back of the room, there's a sign that I love. And it says, you are not alone.

And that was like, man, like I love seeing that there because, like I said, I always felt alone. And now all of a sudden, I'm with a group of people I can relate to on a whole different level. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that, too. I noticed that is one of the things that gets so many of us sort of stuck with getting help is because I can only speak for me, but I was the overly unique person who had this solo life that nobody else could understand, you know?

And for me, it played into sort of being the victim of circumstances, right? Like nobody's going to understand in what I found too is just being around other people that were on the same journey, working towards the same goals. We all did share things that were similar. I remember I went to my first AA meeting. I was 17 and I went to this meeting. It was across the street from my high school. Like how weird.

I was just like in high school. Everybody's out front smoking cigarettes. I didn't smoke cigarettes at the time. My mom drops me off. It was like this part of aftercare program for this treatment center I went to. They're like, you got to go. Like I wasn't really a drinker at all, really. I went to rehab for a year when I was 17.

So this was the tail end of like you should keep doing what you're doing, right? So I just went with the flow. But I remember that. I remember that just clear as day. I'm sitting around this room in this small town. There's probably like eight people and there's a burning pot of coffee. That's all I can remember is that. I can remember that most, the smell.

And I was like, this is not where I belong. You know, and this wasn't at that stage yet to realize just because I hadn't been through what they were sharing about, what was mentioned to me that like is if you keep living this way, of like lack of accountability, no responsibility, lack of purpose, not having goals in life. Like you increase the odds of experiencing these things.

And later down the road, they would start happening because I didn't sober up then and things would start happening. So I think it's always a good reminder for us too is like, hey, we might not be living that way now, but we also have to realize that nobody woke up one day

and said, I'm just going to burn my life to the ground and just drink beer all day. Like it's progressive, it's sneaky, and it can happen quick or can take time. A big thing that triggers it is when something happens in life. I mean, in 2017 to 2020, you lost a lot of people that were really important to you. And if we have alcohol in our life, we tend to lean more on it and more on it and less on things that are going to be healthy, less going to therapy, less connecting with friends. And then it's just like we're on our own.

We're isolated and we just get whacked over the head with it. Yeah. You know, it's funny you brought up to the therapy and friends because, you know, I did try that, right? Like I would go talk. At one point, I had three different therapists I was seeing. But the problem was I was lying to all of them. I'm not telling them the truth about how I'm actually feeling and what's going on in my life. I'm just telling them some story that they want to hear or I think that they want to hear, you know, just to kind of check the box. And at that point, you know, with friends, I wasn't being honest to any of them either. You know, it was that I thought. that they're living this life right and it looks great from the outside like mine probably did from the outside but I was like well I can't open up I can't share what's actually what I'm actually feeling that it's you know it's it's vulnerability and I can't be vulnerable right so yeah I had to finally get honest with myself about what one about alcohol was a problem and and and then two like how was actually feeling and being open about how I was actually

feeling and being willing to be vulnerable because I the people always say right your secrets keep you sick and that was so true for me yeah yeah and that's another thing too that people do hit on a lot you know kind of going all of these other people are coming in front of right the doctors the psychiatrist there at the psych ward or whatever it was your therapist you know telling them half-truths or not the truth at all but I think like maybe oddly enough we kind of start to believe some of this stuff as as truth too. Like, hey, like they're, yeah, yeah, I don't have a problem. Or it's not the drinking or yeah, I think I'm feeling good.

And yeah, it's like, it's funny. One of those therapists fired me because she told me she's like, she's like, I'm not going to work with you unless you, she's like, you're an alcoholic. I'm not going to work with you unless you start going to treatment. And I said, all right, I'm not going to treatment. So I just won't work with you. It's like, man, yeah, the, you know, the egotistical side of me, like I said, did not want to admit I had any sort of problem

or that I couldn't solve it on my own. Yeah. Yeah. What part of that felt so scary? Gosh, it's a great question. I think they're just being vulnerable and really like expressing my emotions. It wasn't something, you know, growing up, we didn't talk about our emotions a lot, you know, despite my parents being good parents.

It just wasn't something we did. You know, it wasn't, it was kind of just crud your teeth and get through life. And so it felt like I just needed to internalize it all. And, you know, if I start sharing, that's just a sign of weakness and people won't respect me if I share how I'm really feeling. Yeah, that's, that's powerful. Does the word like control come into it at all? Like, I think, too, when I think of like when I started to be more vulnerable and when I continue to do so, I feel like there's a little bit of resistance there because I'm giving up the control. about how other people might perceive me or the situation.

But when I don't share anything, then I feel like I can control the narrative, even though people see through it, but we can still feel like we're in control. When we're vulnerable, and we share what we're actually struggling with, we leave it up to, if we share with other people,

their perception of us in the situation. Does that... Oh, totally. Yeah, I saw something the other day and they were talking about the illusion of control, and it was like, yeah, I, you know, I wanted to control everything. You know, I thought, you know, I came from this house on a dirt road.

You know, I went to school. I was president of my fraternity. I had built this really good career, was making a lot of money. You know, I thought I had done all of these things, right? Like, look how smart I am. Look how good I am at all of this. And I've got it under control, and I can take care of it. And, you know, it was all me, me, me, I, I, and so why would this be any different, right?

I can control it. I've controlled it. I thought I've controlled everything else in my life. So why can't I do this? You know, and at one point, I think in like 2021 or something, I'd stopped for 45 days. I went without drinking. And that was probably the worst thing I could have done because then at that point it was like, well, alcoholics can't stop. And I stopped for 45 days. So I'm not an alcoholic.

And I think after those 45 days, it just got worse. Not better. Yes, man. I mean, that confusion plays into a lot of stories, too. Yeah, of course. I mean, or even some people, too, that my struggle was sort of binge drinking too, right? If they can go a week or maybe two weeks, but then the bottom falls out. It can be a confusing place because it's like, where do I, what does this make any sense, right?

But I think we realize, too, on this side of the journey, the amount we drink, the frequency of how we drink, like, none of that really. matters. Like it doesn't qualify one way or another. I think more of the underlying stuff you're talking about that's going on in your life, you know, or that's went on in your life and how you feel inside in the box that alcohol is checking. Yep, yeah, exactly right. It was all the emotional stuff inside of me and the baggage that I had been carrying, the things that I had stuffed deep down. That was the real problem, right? And the alcohol was, became my solution. The alcohol helped me feel slightly better, at least for the first couple of drinks. And so, you know, that was that was what I wanted to do.

I wanted to escape. I didn't want to try to face reality. Yeah. Switching over to how things are for you now, share a little bit of that story with us. I mean, you do this six months in jail, you get out, you start plugging in, you know, to your meetings. I mean, what starts changing, right? Because you have all of these things we talked about in great detail.

Yeah. You're shifting away from like this ego and this how you feel about yourself into who you are today. Yeah. You know, it's been an incredible journey. It really has. And, you know, like I said, that man that ended up coming up to me talking is my sponsor in the AA. And, you know, we walked through steps together. And finally, I finally got honest with someone.

You know, I finally, you know, we're going through the fifth step. And I tell him everything. And it's the first person. You know, I've ever been completely honest with. And, you know, I think he's, it's a couple of things I told him that he's probably the only other person in the world that knows about. But, you know, there was, like, I could feel a physical release from my shoulders and from my back when I went through that process with him. And I'm forever grateful for that man. And he, one of the things he always says, he's like, you just want to scratch at the surface or do you want to go deep?

And he says, how sober do you really want to be? and you know and it's it's turned into just an incredible journey and I've had the you know my wife has been just a rock stuck by my side through all of this there supporting me she she's stopped drinking herself even though you know she didn't have the same you know problem but you know she she feels better she's just you know wants to be supportive and so she's she's just been amazing but our you know our marriage is the strongest it's ever been now We can actually talk about things and not just try to hide things. And so, yeah, from an emotional perspective, you know, life has gotten so much better without trying to hide and bury everything and just being honest about stuff.

And I've had the opportunity now to sponsor a couple of other men. I bring meetings to treatment centers and doing that has really helped me to be able to help other people and kind of give back, you know, what's been given to me to me. you know, helps, helps, one, it helps remind me of where I was, but two, it gives me a purpose, which is great. You know, I was, like I said, my professional career, I was a financial advisor, helping ultra wealthy people really just get wealthier, right? And in a sense, it was very, I left very empty, you know, it felt like I wasn't really like helping people. You know, I didn't come from money and, you know, I'm just helping these guys make millions of dollars more. And I'm not getting anything out of it.

And now I've got a couple of guys that have been sober for nine months or more. And that's really cool. It's really cool to see it. It's really fulfilling. And so my life has got purpose. It's more fulfilling. It's much more calm. It's much more peaceful.

Relationships are better. And it's all because I'm actually doing some of the deep inner work now. Yeah. Beautiful, man. Yeah. That's what it's all about. I mean, there's so much more to this than, you know, just not drinking. I feel like in the beginning, for me anyway, it was like, man, that's going to be the biggest

mountain to climb ever, just not drinking. And then you quit drinking and all of this other stuff rises to the surface, right? Yeah. Things I need to work on or address or look into or conversations to be had. And, you know, the thing of just not drinking kind of, it's always there. It's always an important part of it. But it's like, what other work are we wanting to do? what else are we willing to do?

I mean, when you look back throughout your journey of drinking and stuff, too, I mean, the denial word pops into mind about, you know, there's not a problem. Everything else in life is going pretty well. Like, what was it that moved you past that? I mean, was it that kind of final arrest of like, hey, this is my reality now? When that probably felt like something that was impossible to happen to a guy like Greg, right? Yeah. Oh, totally.

It was, that was the moment. You know, it was like, yeah, never in a million years did I think I'd end up, you know, in that jail cell with some of these guys for six months, you know. And I learned a lot in there about myself, but also just about other people. And it was humbling, but it was the humbling I needed to, you know, to go from taking care of, you know, people with hundreds of millions of dollars, is just being in a, you know, a dark, dirty mold-infested jail cell, you know, really can bring you down to reality of, you know, what the wreckage that you caused.

And ultimately, it was, it was a blessing in disguise. It was really what I needed. Yeah. Which is interesting, too, because I'm only guessing here, I wasn't with you on that day when you got arrested, but it can, it can maybe feel like this is, this is it. Like this is the biggest failure sort of ever and all that stuff, right? But now looking back, you say, you know, my goodness, I mean, what perfect timing. Yeah, it really was.

You know, and it was, I remember at that moment, like I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. You know, what am I going to do professionally? What I'm going to do personally? You know, is my wife going to stay with me? My friend's going to still talk to me. Like, you know, what's going to happen? And just all these fears running through my head. And when I get out, it was like, okay.

I'll go to these meetings. And like you said, I'm sitting there like, well, what am I going to do without alcohol? What am I going to do day to day? I don't know. And, you know, I shared with one of the guys that I was bored. And he told me, he goes, well, that's because you're a boring person. He's like, you don't do anything. Oh, wow.

I guess you're right. If I don't do anything, I am boring. And, you know, so it's been beautiful. my wife and I've gotten to just like explore so many new things and find new interests in life now too. And, you know, we're, this weekend we're going to a magic show with some friends from the program. And we go to a lot of concerts. And, you know, there's a lot of, you know, we're taking a dance class soon. Like, just things like I never thought I would have ever done.

But it's like, you know, why not? Like, let's just go see. And, you know, there's no reason for me to be embarrassed. I've been embarrassed a lot more other way. so why not just go out and have some fun now. Yeah, good, good point there. When you go back to the other parts in your story, too, of sort of that feeling of being uncomfortable,

how have you been able to work on that and what's sort of that process been like on this side of things? Yeah, I think it's going back to the being honest part and talking and sharing more. And I found that the more I share, the more I talk, other people will come up to me afterwards and say how much they resonate, you know, with something I said. And for me, that helps me feel comfortable and feel like I'm a part of something.

And so, you know, that's what gives me that comfort that I was kind of lacking before is now, like, I know this person can relate to that. I can relate to this other person. I feel a sense of community and groundedness that's authentic. You know, it's not just centered on the beers at the bar like before. right we can have real deep conversations about things and that's really cool it's really cool to see yeah so just really putting yourself out there i guess you know just with being uncomfortable can make you you know and i think not drinking too can help us feel a lot more confident too and in what we're doing

i mean you're not starting every day feeling like trash and then negotiating with ourselves throughout the day if i'm going to drink tonight or i'm not going to drink tonight or i'm going to have four or I'm going to have seven or I'm going to go to Joe's place or go to Sally's place or how am I going to keep this hidden from everybody? And like when you take all of that stuff away that it requires to keep this kind of going alive and us to like stay in the dark with it all, like you open up a lot of space in life to really discover who we are as people. Yeah.

Yeah. There's another saying that I love is it's, you know, get comfortable being uncomfortable. And, you know, that's, that's been. great for me. Like I said, I'm at a point now where, you know, I'm not afraid to ask. I'm not afraid to speak up. I'm not afraid to do things because what's the worst I can happen, right? Someone says no or someone says they don't like what I share. Oh, well, you know, like I've experienced enough now in life where that doesn't phase me anymore. And so I can be comfortable doing that now and be comfortable in my own skin and I never, never felt like I,

could have before. Yeah. And that's that's huge progress, huge progress, especially, you know, dealing with that, you know, kind of picking up on that at such an early age. What are some of the biggest insights you have about yourself throughout this journey of sobriety for you? Yeah. I think it's, for me, it's been really seeing, you know, how big my ego actually was.

You know, someone had once described, you know, my ego was so big. It was so big, I couldn't fit through the doorway, but my self-confidence was so small. It could slide under the door. And that was kind of me, right? You know, from the outside looking in, everything was great, but on the inside, I still felt like I didn't belong. I felt like I, you know, it didn't fit in. And I didn't realize how much that drove a lot of my decisions. And so, you know, being able to look at things from a different perspective now and seeing

what the emotional side of stuff, how all of that has brought up has been really, really enlightening. Yeah, and just working through all of that. We connected too, and now, I mean, the big financial background that you have too, and that's your, you know, your pivot now is helping people on this journey, you know, look at that. And I think that that's so incredible because, I mean, I don't know everybody's story, but I know a few people's stories. And I think that, you know, that can be a part that takes a hit with leaning into alcohol. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, if you look at a lot of people's kind of relationships with their, with money and their finances, it's very similar to addiction in a lot of ways, right? It's there's a lot of fear. There's a lot of shame. There's a lot of guilt, embarrassment, a lot of avoidance, you know, that can go into. through it. And so, yeah, I've got a launched a business now where we're helping people fight through that emotional side of money. I actually got a book coming out next year about that in the process

of writing that now. And so, yeah, it's been really cool to be able to help people in a different way. Yeah, no, for sure. I mean, I can I can definitely envision them here quickly on the fly of how things, you know, can tie together for so many areas of it. And, you know, it's probably, one thing, right, to kind of get things in order, but then there's probably also another element of, like, how do you stay on track too? But figuring out sort of how are you going to prevent yourself from, you know, getting back in this spot too. So, yeah. Well, and it's progress, not perfection, right? Giving yourself some grace, know that you're going to screw up. Like, you know, some financial advice out there. Like, it drives me crazy. They tell you, don't buy the coffee at Dunkin' Donuts. And,

And, you know, now you go spend three bucks on a cup of coffee and you feel this tremendous amount of guilt. And now you're like, well, I'm not going to follow my budget for the week because I already bought this $3 cup of coffee. So I might as well just go spend $200 at Target. And it's like, no, wait a second. It's okay if you make one small mistake. Like, you can still get back on track.

But it's, you know, having someone to hold yourself accountable to being, again, being honest, right? Having someone to talk to. giving yourself a little bit of grace, right? Just because you spend an extra three bucks one day doesn't mean your whole life is out of control either. Thank you, Greg, so much, man. Great job with everything and really appreciate you coming on here and sharing your story with us. Yeah, thanks for having me on, man.

I appreciate you. Yeah. And any closing thoughts from you? It would just say for anybody that is struggling or think they might be struggling, find someone to talk to, don't hold it all inside. There's a lot of people out there willing to help, and it all starts with just trying to ask. And so find that someone, and things will get better.

Yeah, awesome, Greg. Thank you. Thank you.