Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Jason thought he would just have to accept that alcohol would always be a part of his life. He had achieved so much success in so many areas of life, but quitting alcohol seemed impossible.

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Jason had known for some time that he wanted to give up alcohol, but it always seemed to be the one thing he couldn't figure out. He would try Dry January, but by February 1st, he was right back at it. Alcohol caused friction in his relationships, and upon becoming a father, he realized that alcohol was holding him back from reaching his true potential. Then, at the start of 2023, he decided to give Dry January another try. After 30 days, he could feel a shift and chose to continue on that path. This is Jason's story on the Sober Motivation Podcast. -------------- Follow Jason on Instagram HERE Follow Sober Motivation on IG HERE Download the SoberBuddy App HERE Check out the Sober Motivation 30 Day Journal HERE Learn more about Sober Link HERE

They're incredible, inspiring, and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible one story at a time. Let's go. Jason had known for some time that he wanted to give up alcohol, but it always seemed to be the one thing that he couldn't figure out. He would try dry January, but by February 1st, he was right back at it. Alcohol caused friction in his relationships, and upon becoming a father, he realized that alcohol was holding him back from reaching his

potential. Then, at the start of 2023, he decided to give dry January another try. After 30 days, he could feel a shift and chose to continue on that path. This is Jason's story on the Sober Motivation podcast. How's it going, everyone? You're going to love this episode. This is incredible. Before we get started, I want to give a big shout out to Sober Buddy. Connecting people all over the world on the same mission. Get another day sober. Live an alcohol-free life. Or give us a the drugs. If you're looking to connect and be part of an incredible community, download the Sober Buddy app today. Your Sober Buddy.com or head over to your favorite app store and search your sober buddy. Look for the little blue fluffy character and I'm hoping to see you on some of

our live support group soon. Getting sober is a lifestyle change and sometimes a little technology can help. Imagine a breathalizer that works like a habit tracker for sobriety. Soberlink helps you replace bad habits with healthy ones. Weighing less than a pound and as compact as a sunglass case, Soberlink devices have a built-in facial recognition, tamper detection, and advanced reporting, which is just another way of saying it'll keep you honest. On top of all that, results are sent instantly to loved ones to help you stay accountable. Go after your goals.

Visit soberlink.com slash recover to sign up and receive $50 off your device. Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Jason with us. Jason, how are you? I'm good, brother. How are you? I'm well, man. I'm really well.

I'm happy to have you on this show to share your story. How we start every episode is the same. What was it like for you growing up? Tumultuous, I would say. My parents divorced when I was young. There were some drug and alcohol abuse within the family. There was a little bit of physical abuse. We didn't have much money.

So the rough and rowdy apartment complex, I would say. And for me, I was the oldest of my two younger brothers who lived with me at the time prior to my parents divorcing. So I kind of ended up being the biggest brother and the protector as well and trying to shield them from some of what we had to deal with. Yeah. Well, I hear you on that. A lot of these stories, and I've done a lot and I've heard a lot of stories over the year,

but I'm honestly blown away about how many. many people share the story of their family and their parents being divorced. That is a very common theme. What impact did that have on you? To your point, yeah, I agree with you. Anybody I know that was kind of dealing with some of the stuff that I was dealing with, oftentimes it did start as a product of divorce. And for me, like I said, being the oldest and at the time being around 12 years old,

I'm 43 now, I had brothers that were each four years younger than what. another, so about eight and four. And for me, you know, it's funny, I was listening to an Ed Milet podcast and he said that his greatest strength is having the ability to read people and be in the moment with them and to communicate. And the reason he had mentioned that was because his father was an alcoholic and he basically had to read his mood every time he came in the door. And I think I gained similar traits as a. kid, again, trying to both protect myself, my siblings, my parents from one another. So I became

really in tuned with kind of reading the room and reading faces and reading both nonverbal and verbal communication, which as he said, quite frankly, has really helped me in my business career since then. So it's sort of a blessing in that regard, but it was tough. Yeah. No, I love that. I love Ed's podcast, too. It's incredible. It sounds like a lot of people too who share that story and maybe that's part of yours too is you feel like you have to grow up quick, right? If you're looking after your siblings and trying to do all this stuff, that might not be a thing that kids. And I think there might be some anxiety involved in that too. But unpredictability in life can maybe bring on those anxious feelings. Was that something you experienced? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 100%. You said that well, I'm now the father of a three-year-old and a two-year-old. And I understand and see how. Just being a calm, steady presence really is necessary for children.

Again, when I had to deal with everything I had to deal with growing up, it was, okay, try and read the tea leaves to see how they feel, if they're sober, and be if they're not. From there, I would take a direction or a plan of attack, per se, as to how to handle the situation. And then from there, it was, okay, sober or not sober, and then angry or not angry. and my priority was always to protect my two younger brothers who are still my best friends to this day. But yeah, it did cause me to grow up quickly, trying to kind of fend to yourself if nobody was home or they weren't in the right condition to provide dinner or lunch. There was a lot of times where I just took them outside from sunup to sundown because parents' friends were coming over who, you know, they would partate in whatever they were partaking in at the time.

And it was just kind of go outside and then at sundown, I would come home and we would eat. And then there was a lot of loud nights. We lived in a two-bedroom apartment. So it was myself and my two brothers in a room. So we became really tight in that regard, both physical proximity and emotional connectivity, I guess. So yeah, I had to grow up wise being on my ears. Yeah, no, it sounds like it for sure. And then, too, I mean, I remember early on, too, in different situations,

having to put on different masks. You hear that a lot, put on different masks so that depending on what was going around, I would be accepted or I would be able to fit in. Maybe that's something too for that situation, depending on the feedback you're getting from your folks, you would maybe have to act in different ways to kind of make things okay at time.

100%. Yeah, that's well said. And that becomes emotionally draining, particularly as a preteen going into teenage years, I'm trying to figure out who I am as a person. and I'm trying to go through all the natural changes associated with that. Meanwhile, I'm putting on different masks, and I don't even know what my true identity is, and yet I'd have to mask it often, you know, which quite frankly, it did help me kind of become a good chameleon,

to be honest with you. I could get along with anybody. My senior year of high school, I was voted best personality, and for me, it was, you know, I just knew how to be a chameleon. I could talk to these people. I could talk to these people. I could fit in with these people. I had empathy and sympathy for these people.

I knew how to make these people laugh. I knew how to make this group happier. So it did help. And to this day, it helps me in my business. Yeah, no, I like that. I never even knew there was such an award, Jason. No, there was. I'm not bragging, that's for sure.

How was other things for you in school? Like your school life, high school and stuff, was that okay for you? I found solace in going to school for a period. There was also a period during the divorce where I didn't want to go to school because I didn't know what I was going to come home to. So I just wanted to stay home and feel as if I could control the situation better. And then I realized after missing, you know, 30 some days or whatever it was in fourth grade that that really wasn't going to be sustainable. So I would go to school and I would just hope that I came home. to some normality. At school, it was a challenge because I feel in hindsight that my head was only half in the game most of the times. And it was trying to find balance between getting grades good enough to keep my family happy, yet not expending enough time and energy to take away from my other roles within the household of big brother, protector, coach, teacher, whenever it may be.

And that's quite the balance. You mentioned there, too, about coming home to, like, things being normal. A lot of people I've talked to over the years mentioned they were in these situations, you know, some similar to what you're kind of sharing with us here. And they didn't really realize it wasn't normal until maybe, you know, they got a little bit older. Did you pick up on it that this? situation was different than maybe your peers?

You know, that's a good question. I would say sometimes I did and sometimes I did it. For me, I was definitely a fish in water. And frankly, we didn't have much money or much opportunity. So I didn't really go outside of my circle much. But when I did, it became evident that I wasn't. I didn't have a similar situation to others, which led me to really becoming reclusive on my own. You know, while I was, I would say I was kind of gregarious and outgoing at school. I would

come home. I would kind of close the door on school and never did they ever bring friends from school home because, again, it was just too much uncertainty. And I mean, the thought of being embarrassed or worse was just mortifying to a young teenager. There was school me and there was home me and I played a lot of baseball. So during those tournaments, games, interactions with other families, it became evident that my situation was a little different. But I didn't pine for a life outside of what I had at the time family-wise. It did give me immense amount of motivation and perservation and stick-to-itiveness and just kind of how do I carve myself? out of life and how do I run really fucking far away from this in the opposite direction in every

aspect financially family wise friend wise just how do I do the opposite of this yeah man that's just sounds like a very very busy young life teenage life balancing a lot of different things but coming to that having that awareness too of that's not what you want for yourself or even at you know a young age too, maybe thinking of having a family and this is not what I want for a family. So we talked a little bit before we jumped on here. And you were able to fend everything off until you were 21, right? Substance-wise. Yeah.

It wasn't the classic case of a ton of underage drinking, drugs, stuff like that. I mean, through my teenage years, I didn't do any of that because in hindsight, I guess it was I wanted to maintain my role as kind of the steady presence for my siblings that I thought that they needed. And then once I got out of the house, then it was, oh shit. I mean, no one's really watching me. So I can kind of be a bad influence on myself. It was doing everything for everyone else. Leading up to that, I was getting decent enough grades for my mom and dad to try and keep happy.

And then I was being friendly enough with people for them to not really see. what was going on behind closed doors. So I kind of dropped that entire, I don't want to call it a facade because it didn't feel like it at the time. But once I got out on my own, it was, yeah. The first time I was drinking as, like, a 21-year-old, it was like, oh, shit.

Like, I felt like I just put down all that baggage that I had been carrying for a decade. Inhibitions were gone. Yeah, it was time to cut loose. Yeah. It sounds like you just offered some sort of relief. Yeah, it did. It did. Like I said, that's the best way I can say it was that kind of relieved attention that I

had been holding for so long. And then I just started to chase that feeling, of course. Yeah. I mean, that's the tough part with the booze, right? With the alcohol. In my story, anyway, it works so doggone good. I mean, it's like it works so good for all that stuff. And at the beginning, too, I don't share a story to where the bottom fell out right away. You know, you hear a lot of the stories where unmanageability in life comes quick. But I had a lot of really good times, man. I had a lot of good times because I had a really hard time, anxiety, insecurities. And once I was drinking, I was able to go to parties and talk to people and people wanted to invite me to stuff, which I'd never experienced before to be a part of something.

I felt like this was my identity of like this funny guy and being part of stuff. And I was craving that like my entire life to just have a purpose in life. You know, I mean, now when I look back, I'm looking at like, yeah, my purpose was to entertain people, not maybe in the greatest way. But I felt that purpose. I felt like for once I was a part of something bigger than me. I found community. I found connection with other people. And I found people were giving me a shot.

I was clouded a bit that it was just the alcohol. You know, at the time I thought maybe there was more they enjoyed than that. Maybe there was. Maybe there was. I didn't really go back and ask people. but it was interesting. It really provided a lot of stuff for me. And that was like, you know, I think that's what gets us hooked, right?

It's solving a problem for us, I think, or maybe not a problem, but it's helping us feel a certain way. And we kind of run with it. So, I mean, at 21, like, where do you go from there? What are you doing in life? Are you working and you said you moved out and stuff? Where are you at this time, too? You said it best, man. I mean, the word that I was thinking about the entire time was drinking became communal for me,

whereas I could leave my two-bedroom apartment growing up as a child and I can stop protecting people. I can get out in the real world. And it offered me community that I didn't have by design growing up. And yeah, so from there, there was a lot of the same through my 20s. You know, I'm out here in Pennsylvania, so we would drive to the Jersey Shore on the weekends. And it was go to college and then we're sure on the weekends and get all banged up and rinse and repeat. And in the meantime, I was, and still am, really big into my health and fitness. And it was this ridiculous dichotomy of drinking too much.

And then the next day, starting off in a hole physically and mentally and feeling as if I had to work out extra hard, run a lot more, keep the calories away the next day. And then you realize, wait a second, if I just eliminated that, I'd start. start out at zero versus putting myself in a hole early on. So from there, during that time I was working, I went to college and I was working on a commercial construction company. I was just pushing a broom while going through college. I was a laborer at that company. And I graduated from college.

I was going to go to school to be a state trooper. And then I took my test to go to state police academy, passed that, got offered a letter, took it into my company and said, hey, you know, I really would love to stay in the commercial construction and real estate world. But I have this opportunity. And frankly, I didn't come from much. So it was really intriguing to know what I was going to make financially every year. The danger didn't really bother me that much. It seemed parcel to kind of what life was. So that wasn't really an issue. I was like, oh, shit. Like I can make $65,000 a year and know that and know that I can have a decent place and stuff. But inside, that just wasn't really enough for me. I always had the entrepreneurial spirit,

which is carried through to this day. So I didn't take the offer to State Pleas Academy. I stayed pushing a room with my company with the understanding that they would bring me in and teach me some of the other stuff associated with my business. And then long story short, after 22 years with them, I purchased the company from them last year and the owner retired and stopped drinking at the beginning of this year.

And I can truly say that my life has gotten exponentially better every year over the last few years. And frankly, I didn't know how the hell it was going to get better. Like last year was a really good year for me. I said, I have a wonderful wife. I have two young kids. I purchased the business I was at for over two decades. And I thought, how the hell is this going to get any better?

I purchased a couple investment properties and things were just looking fantastic for me. So then I said, okay, well, maybe I have to look inward to see how I can make this next year better because I'm hanging my hat on all of these materialistic things and successes that from the outside are great. But inside, I always wanted to stop drinking. I really did. I always knew it was not good for me. And if you had asked me prior to stopping drinking, I would have told you that I believe in my heart that there's absolutely nothing that I can't achieve in life with enough hard work, determination, networking, whatever it may be. I believe in my heart I can achieve anything.

But the one thing I didn't think I could ever do was stop drinking. I always thought I would just be a successful businessman who's a good father and a good husband on the outside, but is numbing my pain on the inside with drenching. So then at the turn of the new year, I did dry January, which I had done two other times. And then February 1st, it was like, fuck it. You know, just boom, boom, boom, boom. Got a lot of catch up to do. Back to the shore.

Yeah, exactly. So then it was great. And then I was like, well, I felt good. I wonder what dry February feels like, dry March feels like. And then it was like, well, I think let's try and do half a year. And I did half a year now. The goal is a year, but I mean, in my heart, I believe I'm done. And something sort of primal snapped inside of me when I became a father, specifically my first boy

three years ago. And it was like, well, wait a second, rightfully or wrongfully, I want them to pick it. I'm a superhero in every aspect. And I feel as if I'm on the right path in every other regard. But the alcohol was really the one thing I wanted to stop to supercharge kind of my life and my profession and my role as a father and husband. So yeah, it's been great. Wow, dude, that's powerful. And that's another confusing message, I think, that gets maybe sent to some people, right? Because all of these other areas of your life are doing really well, right? Business and that's a lot of time we spend a business and that's going well. It sounds like it. And other things are,

you know, and then you've got this drinking thing that weighs on your mind a little bit. You're like, I can do all of this other stuff. Like I could literally take over the world. But to put down alcohol seems like just the task that overwhelms me. Was it since the beginning or a couple years into it that you're like, man, I'm probably going to have to give this up something. For me, it didn't kind of creep into my mind until I met my wife, I would say, about seven years ago because I was just kind of flying down the road until then just kind of crashing and burning where it need be and then picking up the pieces thereafter. I had been married previous and drinking was a big problem in that relationship. I take complete responsibility for that not

working out because I just was not me because I was drinking too much. So after my divorce, I had to do some real soul searching because quite frankly, that's when it got the worst. I had a place in Philadelphia that I gave to her and then I had a place at the shore that I owned and I went and lived there, which is a two-hour ride from where I worked. So I would drive to work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and then work from home Tuesday and Thursday. But every night was, you know, half a bottle of vodka just to fall asleep. That was a really dark period for me.

I would say that for six months, it was pretty bad. And then I just had the epiphany of like, what the hell? Like, again, I'm quite motivated. I'm quite driven. And it's like, you know what? Like, I got to dig myself out of this, man. And meanwhile, I still worked out and I felt great. And then it was just, I would just have to drink to go to sleep.

And it was a real mess. And I was like, I'm like, All right, I have to do some real soul searching here. So I got myself into Transcendental Meditation, which was a game changer for me. I had known a bunch of people that had taken it. I had a construction project near a local place that taught it. I was a big Howard Stern fan, would hear him talk about it. So I started to go down that rabbit hole.

I went on a couple of retreats and learned how to practice TM. And that was really a game changer for me because I had learned to live in the present, which I believe is still one of my biggest strengths and where I wasn't before when I was drinking, it was always trying to chase another feeling, another laugh from somebody, whatever it was. But it really became comfortable, my own skin, and learned to live in the moment

to the point where I would drink and I would really be mindful of what was happening. I was like, what in the hell is going? Like, you literally left the gym that was upstairs of this bar in this Shoretown I used to live, and you went downstairs and would start drinking. That didn't make a lot of sense. So I really became, frankly, the best version of myself ever, in my opinion,

until I stopped drinking those next six months. I started practicing TM and doing a lot of reading, working out even more, my really good diet, really good social interactions. I was the most comfortable with myself I had ever been. And of course, the law of attraction took place where I became best version of myself and therefore I attracted somebody to my energy, frequency, vibration that wasn't what I deserved the 30-some year prior. I elevated my game personally, and by result, I found somebody who helped make me take

that even further and become an even better person. But I was still casually drinking this whole time. And having a couple arguments early on in my new relationship with my now wife was a game changer for me because it was like, oh shit, like I just came out of this fire and this black cloud finally left me over the last couple years of the divorce and, you know, everything leading up to that. And you spent six hard months really focusing on yourself and became really proud of who you are. And now I'm slipping back into some of my old ways because I was in a relationship. And then again, when I drank, I was a dick. That's the problem. I don't know how to still be me.

we would always say that I would just kind of go off a cliff like I'm fun, happy, jovial Jason. And then after however many or however much, it was all of my old shit coming out. So I would talk and act completely counter to what I was showing people the rest of my life. So long story, you know, I did a couple things, said a couple things to her early on. And rightfully so, she would put me in my place. And it was like, shit, I can't lose this. I can't lose her. the best thing that ever happened to me.

You want to stop drinking anyway. I had thought about it. So I just try every morning when I wake up after drinking. I would say, that's it. Like everybody else, right? I'm going to quit drinking today. And then fucking four o'clock rolls around or five o'clock. And it's like, I'm crawling out of my skin, you know?

And it was like, okay, only a couple. A couple was six. I didn't eat earlier. And now I'm popping off at the mouth like a jerk. And it was like enough. So the last couple years, it was like New Year's resolution. Every year for the last three or four years, quit drinking. Didn't tell nobody because I didn't trust myself.

Then my son was born three years ago, my daughter two years ago. And one or two maybe of those little drinking arguments took place with young kids in my life. And I was like, that's it. Like, I got to put a lid on this because I can't repeat the cycle of what the hell I just grew up in. Like, I can't be divorced. I can't see my kids on the weekends. I can't, as a result, continue my bad behavior and drinking and just be the fucked up dad who sees their kids on the weekend.

And I become so angry and upset with myself that it's just more rinse and repeat. So this year, I said, you know what? I have to do dry January with the intention of stopping. Knock on wood, it's July 31st. And I haven't had a drink yet. And frankly, I haven't really wanted to, which is helpful. the last couple. Wow, dude. That's powerful, man. And I know every time hearing these stories and your story, I know that we just don't have the time to hear the entire thing, but I can feel that

there's a lot under there. Like, there's a lot of layers to this story. Did you tell anybody this time? Like, walk us through that day the week before coming up to that, right? Because I feel like a lot of people end up there, right? We know probably many, many years before we actually do quit that, hey, like, we have got to give this up because this thing's progressive. In my experience anyway, like, it's going to just get worse. I don't know. And it's a highly addictive substance. I think sometimes people are surprised about, well, why am I reacting this way to this?

Like, if you search any list on Google, most addictive drugs or substances in the world, alcohol is always like top two or three. So I think sometimes we're like, oh, well, what's happening? Why do I, it's built this way. But walk us through that because that's where some people end up. At the end, it's like, I got a quick. But now what? You know, that's great. I have this idea.

I got to quit. So how the heck do you get from like, I got to give this up to like actually falling through on it? Yeah, that's a good question. Every year it was, you know, around the holidays where I'm bloated, it hungover and miserable between Christmas and New Year's. And it was like, okay, New Year's Eve. It has to be the last draw. I have to at least do dry January and see where it takes me.

So my brother who's in the military halfway across the country, and my other brother who's here locally, we're always talking and chatting. And they're my best friends. And they were both like, okay, you know, I'll try doing it too. Like, let's try doing it. My one brother in the Air Force, he threw it out there. And he said, hey, let's do it again.

So I thought, okay, great. And we had talked about with the goal being forever. And I didn't know how I would get there. I had a real big fear of, like I said, we have a place down the shore and come like summertime. The truck goes over the bridge. I'd roll up onto the deck and boom, I'm drinking beer. Like, you have to.

Like, I'm here, right? Like, that's what I do here. I was like, how the hell am I going to do that come like Memorial Day? But I said, let's not think that far ahead. Let's just do one day at a time. And let's hope that by the time summer comes, there's a strong enough soundation within me that saying no becomes a little easier than it was going to be on January 10th, say.

So we had all three of us been each other's, support all of through January. Then my mother hopped on the train. She started the same thing in January and we were all just each other's own biggest cheerleaders. And it was, you know, hey, here's a picture from my deck. I'm thinking about drinking. I'm looking at the ocean. You know, it's like, no, just one more day. Just try not to drink for one more day. Back to Ed Milet. Just one more day. Try not to drink for one more day. And my whole thing was, I'm good until the eat. It wasn't breakfast drinks. It wasn't lunch. It was just come home. So then it was just, okay, well, I have two young kids. I don't really have a freaking time to be hungover or be drinking

beers on the couch. I just don't have that time. So I just broke it down to sections of the day and I came up with healthy habits on how to scratch that it. Sugar was a big one, which of course is what they say. It's part of the process. I'm already a sugar guy. So like I'm eating freaking peach rings and I'm eating lizards from the Kerry Queen. And I'm just like the drug addict in the parking lot eating like gummy bears, the whole bag. And it was like whatever I had to do, right? I'm getting down, giving myself doing push-ups. You know, all right, I forget it, do 50 push-ups right now and see if you still have the feeling afterwards. Just kind of scratching and clawing through January on the second half of each day. And then February was like, okay, it became a little easier,

became a little easier. And then there were milestones that you want to hit 100 days, six months. And at first, it's like human behavior as to when you hit a goal to kind of pull off the gas pedal a little bit. And it was like, huh, 100 days. Do I just want to drink socially?

Do I just want to drink Fridays and Saturdays? Do I just want to drink down the shore? But I know that if I don't stay both hands on the wheel going 100 down the highway, if I take a hand off the wheel, look in the rear room mirror, change that radio dial, like, I'm just going to fucking end up in the other lane. And like, next weekend, it'll be a hangover that I'm now agitated at my kids waking up at six in the

morning. Whereas right now, I'm thrilled. I can't wait for them to wake up because I'm clear-minded, got a bunch of pep in my step. And every day looks very bright and promising. Yeah, that's incredible. And that's the important thing is I think sometimes we get too far ahead of ourselves. I mean, you almost did there with what is the summer going to look like. I think sometimes, you know, we've got to just stay present in the moment and just do the best we can do today. And for most of us, just the simple thing of just not drinking. And of course, there's other stuff that's going to happen out of our control. But that simple act of not drinking alcohol, I think things are going to turn out pretty doggone good.

You know what I mean? The anxiety is down. Your mental health is just so much better for a lot of people they share about. What does your wife think about all this? Did you mention to her that you were doing dry January? I did. I did. and she was very supportive.

She is a PhD in clinical neuropsychology, so she kind of understands all the damage I was doing to my brain and otherwise and potentially my family. So, yes, she was aware, and I had done this before with my brothers. I did not, in all honesty, tell her my complete goal necessarily because I didn't have enough faith in myself, right?

Like I didn't say, hey, I want to do January, and then I'm going to try six months, but the end goal is I want to say, stop forever. I had told her in the past that I wanted to stop forever. She knew that. But no, I didn't subscribe to, okay, get in the passenger seat with me and go on this journey with me and I'm going to tell you everything. And every time I have an itch, I'm going to talk to you, it was like, just tally up the days, let her know kind of where you're at. The positive feedback was reinforcing. And it was always kind of the caveat of, yeah, you know, I won't do that

for today. And early on in January, we took the kids to Disney, like two weeks. into January with a three-year-old and an almost two-year-old at the time with my in-laws. And I was like, how in the hell am I going to go to Disney with two young kids and not drink? But like you said, man, it's moment by moment. Like I break it down. And like I said, Transcendal meditation has really helped me because I live in the present. So while I'm presently next to somebody who's drinking out at dinner or at lunch, I just have to maintain grip on myself and just understand that like this two,

Shown pass. If I can just surf this wave, it's going to be smooth sailing after that. Yeah, no, that's so true. And you bring up Ed a few times and he's got a video about where he asked his dad, right? You've seen that one? Yeah, is dad, are you going to be sober forever? And it was kind of like the story I got from it too is Ed was ready to give up. And then his dad kind pushed this sobriety philosophy on him about like, just don't give up for another day. Like, just stay in the game for another day. And that seems so heavy at times. But, good night's rest, waking up at the next day, it just really can change your perspective on everything if you can just hang on for the next day. It's so true, man. Like, I find myself using

that same line with people in my life too. And the other thing that I've kind of learned is I'm up at 430 every day, seven days a week, ready to work, work out, be a father. And a little life hack kind of of mine is just to treat every day the scene. Don't stay up too late on Friday. night and wake up too late on Saturday because then it just kind of throws me out of my rhythm. Like, boy, there's nothing worse for me growing up than thinking about every day being the same. Talk about like mundane and boring and not intoxicating at all. Now it's like I thrive on the discipline of maintaining the same schedule day and day out. And that helps me.

The reason I is because it makes me feel good, which obviously it makes me not want to drink. but now I just have a rhythm of, okay, you don't drink. So therefore, you're not a drink. Like, you're not going to drink today, therefore you're not a drink. It's the same as, you know, just go work out today if you don't work out. And then you start to become this identity of, okay, I work out. That's what I do. And now it's like I just told myself constantly, you're a sober person,

you don't drink. That's what you are. And it was always funny because I was drawing these lines in the sand with my three-year-old and two-year-old of, no, you can't do that. Why? Because of X, Y, and Z. But then I draw lines in the sand with myself and I'm hopping right over. I'm bending the rules. It was really hypocritical. So the rule I told myself is you don't drink. That's what you do. You don't drink. It's not that you drink on Fridays. It's not that you have one. It's not that you drink at dinner. You don't drink. And therefore, I've become identified with a person that does not drink. Yeah, that's incredible. And you had mentioned before too, like the moderation, right? Because I think a lot of us obviously try. different strategies, right? The Friday night, the Saturday night, only at the shore, only this. And yeah, at 100 days, you were maybe going through those thoughts. But I think if we reflect back on our

stories and on our journeys, we're quick to realize, like, dude, we've tried it all because we ended up very miserable. So we've tried to, you know, like spend only this much money or only do Friday. I mean, I was forever trying to just do Fridays and Saturdays, you know, and I did it for a little bit. That was another confusing thing. Sometimes it worked for a week or two. And then it would just creep back in, you know, a couple weeks later, you know, I was right back to where I started. But look, Jason, this has been incredible, man. I really appreciate you sharing everything, dude. I mean, a very relatable story.

Thanks, brother. I appreciate the time, man. I'm a huge fan and I was honored to do this. Yeah. Thank you, man. Just signing off here before we do, though. Is there anything you want to share, wrap things up? I would just say that one day at a time, man.

There's going to be urges. there's going to be moments of weakness, but just understand that if you can just say no today, tomorrow morning, you'll be so much more thank. Watching the sunrise every morning, seven days a week, 365, has become my alcohol. You know, it fulfills me like the drinking used to. And just being a sharp with it, individual, parent, father, employee, employer. Yeah, that's the reward itself. And listen, man, I know it's cliche, but if I can do it, man, you can definitely do it.

Yeah, that's incredible. And even with just over six months sober now, right? See all the benefits in six months. I mean, some of the stuff that when I got into this that I accomplished in those first six months, I could not have accomplished with 10 or 20 years. It was taking that long, the drinking and the drugging, right? So just six months to be able to get that stuff through this wild. I would set a goal for myself because like I said, I was an idiot in that. I work out often and I was drinking often.

And the goal was always to lose like 10 pounds in the year. I would tell myself, okay, you know, I'll lose 10 pounds this year when I was drinking. Well, dude, I'm down 25 pounds already in the first six months. And it's like, you idiot. You know, you were fighting for 10 because you were balancing it with booze for so long. And, you know, now I'm down 25 pounds. I feel great. You know, at 43 with a three-year-old and a two-year-old and a wife that's younger than me,

like, I got to stay with it. I feel great. The cobwebs are gone. The drive, determination, passion for life is just, man. Well, fire. I'm blessed, dude. My life's fucking amazing right now. That's incredible, dude.

I can feel it, man. That's beautiful, man. One last thing is, I'd like to ask this question. If someone's, I know you've already mentioned it, but maybe you've got something else for us, too. If someone's listened to the show and they're struggling to get. get started or get another day. What would you say to them? I would say that the means justifies the end. I know it sucks right now, but you're going to feel so much better the next day and stay busy. You know, like, dude, you can't really sit on a couch at night and Netflix and think that the

urge is going to easily go away. You know, you can't do that. So get busy. That's a big one. Go for a walk. Go for a run. Play with your kids. Just do something to stay busy. And, And that was a big one of mine. And frankly, if you do that long enough and you start to see the physical change coupled with the mental change, dude, for me, that's just like poor gasoline on my motivation. I was like, wait a second, my head's clear. My fucking belly's gone. Like, I'm good, you know?

Like, I feel great. I don't know. Dude, I'm just so freaking blessed. And like, that's why I kind of wanted to be on here. Like, anything I could do to make people feel the way that I feel, man. And like, it's just like a new calling. Like I don't know how I do it, where I do it, how I go about it. But man, if I can get people to feel the way I feel right now, get it, man.

It's electric. Yeah, love it, dude. Appreciate you, man. I appreciate you. Thank you very much. Another incredibly powerful episode. Big thank you. Big shout out to Jason for coming on.

I mean, Jason really opened up the door and was extremely vulnerable with us on the show. And that I can really appreciate. Because this stuff is not always easy. There's struggles. There's ups and downs. Most people I talk to don't get it on their first try. And I've been getting a lot of messages recently about people really connecting with that. And it's not to say that you failed because it didn't work out for you the first time.

What I want you to take away from this is that you keep trying. You don't quit. The only people who don't figure it out, sobriety recovery, alcohol-free life, drug-free life, is that you give up. So keep with it. And look, everybody, I appreciate so much support. Appreciate all the support on the show. I'm having a ton of fun, as always.

Another huge shout out to Jason. I'll drop his Instagram information in the show notes so that you could shoot him a message if you were able to connect with any part of his story. I think that that's incredible. And if you haven't reviewed the show yet, be sure to drop a review on Apple or Spotify. It would mean the world.

Let other people know who are considering this show. show or one of the other hundred sober podcasts out there that this is the one they should check out along with other shows and I'll see you on the next one. One last thing before we sign off for this episode, I want to let you guys know about the 30-day sober motivation sobriety journal that I put together at 70 plus pages. It helps you start your week and your week and there's daily tasks to keep you on track with your sobriety. My favorite part of all of it is probably the daily journal prompts,

because you've got to get the wheels turning and start asking yourself some questions and really explore what effect that the substances, alcohol, drugs have had on your life. And I think once we get a clearer picture of that, then we can start to work towards removing it or keeping it removed. So check out the link in the show notes for the 30-day sobriety journal. Look, the journal costs five bucks. but if you're in a tough spot, I get it. I've been there many, many times myself.

Send me a message over on Instagram with your email address, and I'll be happy to send it over to you for no charge. Thank you again, everyone, and I'll see you on the next episode.