Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Jenn Guardino classified herself as a lost cause before she got sober.

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

Jenn’s parents separated when she was young and it took a toll on her well being and learning to grow up fast was a must.  Jenn had come to accept that her life would consist of being in and out of rehab/ hospitals due to her drinking and meth use.  Jenn thought for sure her daughter would provide the strength and insight for her to get and stay sober but it didn’t. After 11 rehabs Jenn still struggled to stay sober and it wasn’t until she surrendered and became willing to work a 12 step program that her life changed. Jenn is a strong example of sobriety and is a real light in this world. Jenn has been sober for 4 years and her life has completely changed. This is Jenn’s story on the sober motivation podcast. Follow Jenn on Instagram Follow Sober Motivation on Instagram Download the Sober Buddy App

Welcome back to season two of the Subur Motivation Podcast. Join me, Brad, each week is my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. Jen's parents separated when she was young, and it took its toll on her well-being, and learning to grow up fast was a must. Jen had come to accept that her life would consist of being in and out of rehab and hospitals. due to her drinking and meth use.

Jen thought for sure her daughter would provide the strength and insight for her to get and stay sober, but it didn't. After 11 rehabs, Jen still struggled to stay sober, and it wasn't until she surrendered and became willing to work a 12-step program that her life would truly change. Jen is a strong example of sobriety and is a real light in this world. Jen has been sober for four years, and her life has completely changed. This is Jen's story on the Subriety.

Sober Motivation podcast. You've heard me mentioned Sober Buddy many, many times. But let me share with you what one of the members of the Sober Buddy app had to say. The Sober Buddy app has been a blessing I didn't know I needed. It allows me to track my sobriety and gives challenges to help define how I got here and how to move forward. The connection to others is a big plus in leading a sober lifestyle. With Sober Buddy, you realize you are not alone.

That's from Tia. In the Sober Buddy app, we have 10 peer-led support groups each week, also a thriving community where you can connect and get to know other members and work together on your recovery journey. The Sober Buddy app is not a replacement for other things you're doing to stay sober. It is just another tool on your tool belt. Download the sober buddy app today. I hope to see you over there.

Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Jen with us. Jen, how are you? I'm good. Thanks for having me. Of course. I'm glad we could narrow down a time to do this. How we start the podcast is just telling the listeners what it was like for you growing up.

Oh, what it was like. So my parents divorced when I was really young. I immediately went to live with my mom. And my mom at the time was struggling with her own addiction. So I really wasn't being taken care of the way that a little girl should. I was abandoned a lot. I was neglected. I wasn't ever able to talk about my feelings.

I remember our house being very dark all the time and her sleeping to like three. I was kind of a little survivor at the age of five. I just learned how to fend for myself and I was comfortable being alone. I mean, I didn't really know any other way. So when my dad had to take me from my mom, it was just a whole other animal

of feeling abandoned and neglected. by her. I immediately thought that I did something wrong. Why can't my mom take care of me? What is wrong with me? So that kind of set the tone growing up, even at age five. I just always thought that I did something wrong and that I wasn't good enough. So I went to live with my dad and my dad, he's a great provider. I never went without anything, but he's also this man of like, don't talk about your feelings. Don't say I love you, which is awful when you're raising a little grumble. Like, girls are emotional. We have a lot of feelings. We need that warm and fuzzy parents sometimes. and I didn't have that. It was just like the perfect storm. I was taken from my mom who was this warm and fuzzy

person and I was given to this man who didn't provide me the love that I needed. So I was just broken all around. And growing up, like I said, that set the tone. I was constantly mistreated by men, mistreated by friends. I didn't know how to show up for anybody else. I really just didn't know how to be normal if that makes sense. I was kind of just going through life, learning from other people and being this chameleon of, oh, this is how this person asked, so this is how I'm, this is what this person wants, this is what I'm going to do for them. I never really had my own identity. And there was always just that hole that they talk about in recovery, just this giant hole of just emptiness. And the first thing to really fill that hole was meth. When I got out of high school, I went to a party.

And I don't want to say a goody two shoes, but I didn't drink. I didn't do drugs in high school. And I saw white lines on a table. And I was like, oh, that's probably cocaine. It's, yeah, sure, why not? And it was meth. And I remember doing it and my nose started bleeding. And my friend was like, you never had meth before, blah, blah, blah. And in that moment, I can't even describe the euphoria that I felt of just like, wow, this is what I've been waiting for my entire life. This is what I need it. So I very quickly got addicted to meth. It not only helped me numb my feelings, but it also made me really skinny, which is what a lot of girls want. Not good skinny, though. I didn't look well at all. So, That was just kind of like the first thing that started my addiction. I was in and out of rehabs for a really long time. I decided to quit meth and didn't realize that you needed to get sober from everything. So I immediately jumped to alcohol. And alcohol is what brought me closest to death.

I was never a functioning social drinker. I was always a binge drinker. One night would turn into a four-day binge. I would be in the hospital. I had to be put into a medical-induced coma, just balls to the wall with alcohol. and never really believing that there was anything else, that there was anything better for me. I truly accepted that this was my life. I was okay with being in and out of hospitals and ended out of rehabs.

In a way, it made me feel like I had a purpose. As sad as that sounds, I just identified myself as this loss cause and this just chronic relapser. That was my life and that was okay. When I met my partner, Austin, him and I both were like, okay, let's get so. sober, let's do this. You know, we had a beautiful baby girl and even Olivia, my daughter, couldn't keep me sober. You know, when she was born, I had this thought in my mind like, okay, I'm a mom now. The past is gone. Like that girl, Jen, is no longer there. There's no way I'm going to get addicted to alcohol anymore. There's no way I'm going to get addicted to meth. I'm a mom now.

She is, you know, what's going to keep me sober. And that was so wrong. Having to leave her when she was three months old to go into like my 11th rehab was just soul crushing. And even then I couldn't stay sober. And it wasn't until I truly got on my knees and realized Alcoholics Anonymous is what's going to fix me. I truly believed that's what I needed. And I got a sponsor who, it's so funny. I remember back in the day I was always like, okay, I'm going to pick a sponsor who has the clothes that I want, has the this that I want, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that was so wrong and fucked up.

I needed to pick someone who truly rocked my world as far as recovery and always stayed in the solution. And my sponsor was all of those things. We had nothing in common as far as fashion, lifestyle, this and that. But she just always showed up with the solution and gave me exactly what I needed in that moment and truly saved my life four years ago. Going through the steps with her was such a freeing, cool experience. And I never realized the resentments that I held on to and the things that I went through and how much they really just made me who I was.

It not only showed me that I need to have extreme empathy for myself, but it also helped me understand myself. So today, when I'm feeling those anxious moments or I'm just so wrapped up in fear and self, it kind of helps me work through them and understand myself better so I don't have to drink and use over them. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I have four years right now by the grace of God. And I mean, it's in no way easy.

No way. But the more things you go through in recovery, the more you realize you don't have to drink over them. Like, whoa, I just got through that and I didn't pick up meth or booze. I'm okay. In those moments, they feel like they're going to kill you. Don't get me wrong. But, I mean, you do get through them just by practicing those tools that you learn and by reaching out to people and doing things like this, recovery podcast and just staying connected. I find it so important to have things in my life that hold me accountable.

That way I can't, you know, hide from any of it. Yeah. If I jumped around a little bit there, I hope that all made sense. Yeah, no, it made an incredible sense. A lot to unpack there. So you touched on the wanting to be skinny part and then the hole that you were looking to fill, right? That's the thing that we definitely do, like you brought it up. Here are a lot in recovery.

What was it about the meth at first that filled that void for you? Like, how did you feel afterwards? You know what I mean? You mean after I did the drug? Yeah, like how did that fill the hole for you? temporarily, it really did. As an addict, I'm a very instant gratification person. So it worked in that moment. But then it just turned into this whole other ballgame of needing it to feel okay, lying for money, just doing so many other dirty, horrible things that it completely took away that feeling

of euphoria when you get that first high. But then you're just so wrapped up and addicted, you just can't stop. It's just this total insanity. It's very temporary. And good point there, too. because I was talking with a reporter from Fox News yesterday. They were wondering in their story, they're writing, why we continue to do it. And I'm trying to explain to them, the best way I can is that it's not something, it becomes a point, I believe,

that it's not something we want to do anymore. It's something we have to do, whether we're physically addicted, whether it's our mind convincing us to do it. And that's when the addiction takes over. But I feel like other people outside of it might not understand sort of that thing, is that there becomes a point

where we lose that trust. And once we had the first one, you want more. And it just doesn't do it. And your experience with the first time was maybe this might not be the best term for it, but it was so good. Yes. That you constantly look for it. Yeah. The snowball just keeps building. Like it just keeps gaining momentum. Completely. And I think that's the disease aspect of it. You know, a lot of people who don't have experience with addiction think that it's the choice. You know, you're choosing to do that. And do people honestly think that I chose to choose alcohol over my daughter? Did I choose to drink in that moment instead of take care of her?

Absolutely not. That would make me just a complete sociopath. It's truly a disease. That's one thing that infuriates me in recovery is when people I hear them say it's a choice. Because it's truly not. It's not. Do you feel like that's a bridge that we cross over? Or do you feel like that's instilled from the first one?

Or even before that, like the whole that you talked about was there before. I believe that I was headed on this path, as weird and as strange as it may sound, that I was headed on this path to look for a solution to what was going on in my life. For me, the first thing I found was cocaine that wasn't really hooked on that, but what I loved was pain medication. Okay. Once I found that, I can relate to you with your story where I was like, now I'm home. Now it all makes sense.

Like, now I can actually, I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. And now this is, everything's coming together. But do you think that's a bridge we cross over? Do you feel like that's before or what are your thoughts? You know, that's such a good question. I honestly think it's a little bit of both. I think that a lot of the times we're born with this in us. And a lot of the times it's situational.

It's trauma. But I know a lot of people who had perfect upbringings and are still in recovery today because of their addiction. So I do think it's something that a lot of us are born with. I think a lot of the time it's passed down. you just never know. And I do believe it's a progressive disease. For me, I didn't always start off because this binge drinking alcoholic, but it just got worse and worse. And I noticed with every relapse, it got worse and worse. I always picked up right where I left off and just got bad within a matter of days. Yeah, that's definitely something for sure. It's 100% true. And I think for me, I never realized, like, I always thought that the solution was drugs, alcohol, people, places. I never really, realize the solution was me all along. And like I said, like working the steps and going through

Alcoholics Anonymous, it helped me understand myself better and appreciate myself to not need anything else to make me feel whole. And I was listening to one of your podcast, Leah, great podcast, how she was talking about how she gets to choose the people and the things that are in her life today that serve her and get rid of the things that don't. And I love that. And I love that because when I was using, I would let just anything and everything into my life, whether it was good or bad. And today, I just don't. I have so much respect for myself and my sobriety and my peace that if you don't serve me and you're negative, bye. And that's what they talk about, how you need to be selfish. Yeah, no, that's so true. I'm wondering too, though, about this because we talked a little bit

before we jumped on here for the recording, but you went to meetings before and for better or worse, we didn't get 100% involved. What changed and what has to change do you feel for people and for yourself that at the end, you were ready to maybe accept the help or, you know what I mean? Totally. I do think I started looking for the similarities versus the differences. The last 10 years before the last four that I got sober, I was going into meetings and I was always like, I'm not like you.

You're way worse than me. You don't have this issue. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And four years ago, I walked into a meeting and I just remember sitting there. And I heard nothing but similarities. And I was like, whoa, that's me. You have the same thoughts that I do. You're just like me, blah, blah, blah. And that was so comforting because for someone that grew up not feeling like they fit in anywhere, I feel so at home when I walk into a meeting. There's nothing I can say in that room that people will not like understand or have empathy or not in just no judgment. that's so cool if you think about it. Like, who else can walk into a room in any country, any city, not know anyone and instantly

have a family. That's so beautiful if you think about it. And I just, I have so much respect for meetings and rooms and the fellowship today, and I never had that before. And it's because I was constantly negative and looking for all of the differences. 100%. I was talking with somebody else recently, too, about this. Do you feel like some part of this had to run its course?

What do you mean? With the addiction, like, do you feel like you had to get to a place where like... Like a bottom? Yeah, a bottom or internally of like, hey, this is how I feel about myself or, you know, something. Like, it's an interesting idea, but I don't know if it makes any sense for you. I don't know, to be honest. I don't know. I don't think...

Gosh, it's really tough to say because everyone's experience is so different. Some people are like, this is what my bottom was and I have numerous years. For me, I hit so many bottoms. You'd think that being away from my daughter and having child protective services would have been my bottom, but it wasn't. I don't think the obsession was lifted until I worked the steps. In the beginning, I had to fake it until I made it. So I think it's different for everybody, to be honest.

My hat is off to people who go to rehab once and have been sober since. That was just not my story. It took like almost 12 and a lot of therapy, but it's just so different for everybody. Yeah, so true. Yeah. What brings us to the place where we're willing to. to change definitely look different. It's so different.

Yeah. I feel with like my journey too, though, as painful as it was, I had to lose some things. I had to hit some of those bottoms. And I never got sober after a bottom. I'm sober. Just one day, the stars aligned, I guess you could say. And everything kind of just made sense. I feel like a lot of times people too are maybe waiting for something to happen.

I'm always encouraging people like you can make a decision today to change things. don't have to wait for this big dumpster fire type thing to happen. And then you're like, oh, yeah, I've got a problem. Right. But it's almost, and I think that's just their own journey. Some people need the dumpster fire to realize they really have an issue. But again, I think that's great to tell people like, just go in, just fake it one time and see how you like it, because you might really enjoy it. I love the fake it until you make it part. I did a short episode on the fake it. Really? Yeah. Some people don't like it. I saw this one quote that made me think think of it. It's don't fake it till you make it. That's garbage advice. And then it went on to say other

stuff. And I remember a time when I was in rehab. I was 17. It was in a basement. It was a lockdown unit. My parents forced me to go there. You couldn't leave. I wasn't able to move forward in the program because I wasn't following the rules. So the one counselor's like fake it until you make it. And it's literally the thing that saved my life because I didn't have any willingness. So I had to do that. And I'm not saying go to meetings and just be like the person in the back that doesn't really do any, like apply yourself. I fully support fake until you make it with a lot of things in life. Same. Me too. With the 110% on that. And that's good too. The thing about like just showing up. Like just do something different. Exactly. Just show up. Get a roll like poor

coffee one night. Put away the chairs. Just something. That little thing that you do might be the one thing that really saves your life. You never know. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a big, huge like move mountains type thing. Small stuff. Yeah. I like. I like. that. So you get off the myth and then you start drinking, how did that whole transition take place at the time? It was a shit show right away, like right away. I never could be this like social, normal drinker. Every time I would go out with friends, I would embarrass myself. I would wake up the next morning with just crippling anxiety of like, what did I do? There was one morning I woke up and the entire right side of my car was completely destroyed and I still, to this day,

I have zero recollection of what happened. Just terrifying things like that. And again, just nothing. There was nothing anybody could tell me doctors, family, anyone that was going to make me stop. I remember leaving hospitals and having the Uber take me directly to the liquor store. Because, I mean, as you know in those moments, you feel so lost and so shameful that you're like, fuck it.

I'm just going to keep going. There's nothing that's going to bring me out of this. Everyone's giving up on me. Like, I'm just going to give up on myself. And that's the headspace I was in for, of good four or five years. And I turned to meth again in 2016, which is what brought me to a rehab where I met my partner, Austin. And I haven't done meth since then. But again, like my drinking still continued. And alcohol is so available to you. It's very accepted. Not a lot of people

accept meth. So I was like, okay, well, I'm going to be a lady. I'm going to not do that anymore. I'm just going to drink. And I was never a lady when I drank. Yeah. Never acted like a lady. That's a good point there too. Because that's what happens with the other stuff is that, yeah, it's illegal and it frowned upon a lot more than alcohol. But the alcohol is, it's everywhere. Like you can literally go anywhere and you can get it. You're almost who are more questioned if you're not drinking than if you are.

Yeah. Completely. Like I even find today, like, and people know I'm sober. When I go out, I have to have like a soda water in my hand just so people leave me alone and aren't like, let me buy you a drink. drink, let me get you this, you know? I will say there's places getting better. Like, I go to restaurants today and there's a mocktail section. There's non-alcoholic options. And I love that, that they're promoting. You can still be sober or not drink and have a good time. Yeah. It's natural. Everyone thinks that booze is going to make you have a better time and or even drugs. And I don't think it's about the

thing. It's about the person. You need to be able to be happy and have fun by yourself. Yeah. That's the self-development part. Were you worried about that? Oh, yeah. I'm not going to be fun anymore. Well, I was never fun. That's the thing. I was never fun when I drank or maybe when I used occasionally. But no, I just didn't know that I was going to be able to cope with life on life's terms without alcohol or drugs. I was terrified. And even they still struggle with if I don't get invited to something and I see on social media, like that they all went out drinking and had a good time. You know what? Still, it hurts my feeling sometimes because I'm like, oh, that's just the inner child coming up. Like, what's wrong with me?

why aren't I invited? And I have to really remember that has nothing to do with me and to not let that bother me. And it's not worth it. So I'm going to go out one night with a bunch of people and maybe drink one night and ruin the last four years of my life. That's no, it's just not a part of me anymore. Yeah. And from what it is hard.

Yeah. I mean, you know, my partner, he plays hockey. So we have a lot of events. A lot of the time, there's a lot of things that we have to do that involve alcohol. And in the beginning, it was difficult. Like him and I remember, we felt like a little bit of a black sheep. when we go out. But now today, it's so normal. Everybody just knows, like, Jen and Austin are in recovery. That's a big part of their life. That's just who they are. And you don't feel as

uncomfortable anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's important. More and more people, it seems like every day are talking more about what's really going on. So it's nice to see that people are, like, speaking up to say, hey, this is where it brought me. Yeah. Exactly. And like you just said, to talk about things on the daily. Like mental health was not talked about a lot five years ago, like as much as it is now. And it's evolving and it's so much more prevalent in our culture today. And that makes me so happy for my kids because I feel like a lot of us were brought up to not talk about our feelings and just not ever show that you have an issue with anything. And today it's more acceptable.

And I think that's so powerful. Yeah, definitely opening up the conversation for stuff to let people know that. that there's help, that there's support, that this stuff is okay. You know, it's almost like cool in a sense to like be owning up to what's going on. And it just really helps free other people that might be stuck in the cycle of I'm the only one or I feel hopeless and there's no way out. If they can hear Jen's story, they can hear your story and say, oh, I can relate to so much of that stuff. And she found a way out. Maybe it's possible for me type stuff.

It's so cool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, just the possibility. I remember, like, as a newcomer, just not thinking that I was ever going to be okay. And just having hope is, I don't know. I think that's what kind of keeps me going today is I have hope every single day. Does that make sense?

Like, just for my life. It's so important to just have hope for something. And that'll just be what keeps you going, you know? Yeah, for sure. So one else has really helped you on your journey. I mean, we covered the fellowship stuff. Has there been anything else that's really helped you out? You know, like I said, Alcoholics Anonymous, I also have a therapist that I saw once a week for about six months in the beginning of my sobriety.

I went to a sober living when I got out, which really helped me as well. It was difficult being away from my kids, but still living in the same city as them. I got to see them during the day, but I had to go sleep at this other house. But it was really cool to be living with other women going through the same thing that I was. It was really forcing me into recovery in that moment. But no, today, and I pray a lot, I work out, I still see a therapist. It helps having a partner who's also very passionate about their recovery. I think it's very important.

People always ask, do you think it's necessary for two people or for a person to be in a relationship with someone else in recovery? I think it's a huge benefit only if you're both working on your recoveries individually. You can't get wrapped up in one another's problems or their recovery because it'll bring you down. and then you'll feel like you have to be their fixer. And it's him and I are very intentional with working on ourselves and then coming together. But it's awesome. You know, he understands what it's like to have a really shitty day. He understands what it's like to wake up and just not feel okay,

even though everything else around you is perfectly fine. No, it's great. But yeah, it really depends on the day. And I don't want to stay by any means I have it all together. I mean, there's days when I wake up and I'm just not well at all. But again, again, I think it's important. important to get that out and say, you know, I'm not okay today as opposed to just holding it in and letting it turn into just this giant thing that you can't work through. Yeah, so important. Yeah,

I'm glad you brought that up about the relationships too. That has to be one of the most common struggles people have asked me over the years is how do I do this relationship with my partner when they're still drinking and stuff like that. Honestly, I stay away from advice like that because that's for people to figure out, but I can see how it can definitely be helpful. And I love how you do your own thing and he does his own thing. And that's so important because I feel like a lot of us

who struggle with this, we want that quick fix not only for ourselves, but everything around us too to save everybody, help everybody. And the reality is we can't do that. And I mean, that was a huge issue for me. And especially in the beginning as just other people in general.

I was so focused on other people that it just like, I remember, getting out of rehab and I had six months sobriety and I remember judging people like, how come they don't trust me yet? Why don't they want to be my friend yet? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was so angry at these people. And it took me a while to realize I always have to meet people where they are. I can't control what this person wants or what they think of me. I can only control me. And it's still a battle even today. Like I want to fix people's opinions and the way they see me. And I really can't do that. You know, what you think of me is none of my business. But it's definitely hard. I

still struggle with that today. Yeah, I think big part of that's just being a human in plus with your history too about, you know, growing up and everything. That stuff is still there and still, you know, very real. I was looking at the Instagram post you wrote here. I was just going to read it really quick if that's okay, because I think it's really powerful. Oh, sure. So Jen wrote here for her four years to celebrate before I got sober and she has a picture that we're just not going to be able to see on the podcast, but you can check it out on her Instagram if you want. I classified myself as a lost cause. I didn't have the courage to kill myself, but new deep down, I didn't care what happened to me. I was a shell of a human, just existing and floating through the motions.

Today, I have a will to live and truly believe I deserve to be here. It feels like a dream I never want to wake up from. Today, I celebrate four years sober. Hell yes. That was incredible. When I saw that, I just thought, that's so powerful. Thank you. Very true. Yeah, I just, I don't even think that I had an identity back then. Like I said, I was just floating and going through the motions and just, yeah, just existing. Yeah, yeah, I can relate to you on that. It's a really tough spot to be because I remember when I think back to when I was living

and I could relate to a lot of that. I wanted so bad for a different life, maybe a better life, but I had absolutely no hope or idea or vision that my life could be any different than living on my brother's bedroom floor. and being unemployable and having no possessions, not being trusted, and just really struggling with mental health, everything else. How do you get to a point where like, now I have hope? Now I can start to take steps towards improving my situation. I went to a rehab in Arizona the last time called The Meadows,

and I'm not sure if you've heard of it. It's 45 days, and one of the weeks they have this thing called Survivors. and it's basically this crash course on dealing with all the trauma that you went through when you were little. And you basically sit in a room and you address your abuser and you tell them how you feel and tell them what they did to you. And it's just this extremely powerful exercise. And by doing that, it gave me more empathy and understanding for who I am as a human. And truly, just by that week, I gained so much love for myself that I know. never had. And just by gaining that love and that respect, just that little bit in that moment,

it gave me the hope to think I deserve a better life. I think that a lot of us, you know, whether we want to admit it or not, don't like ourselves when we're using. Don't think we're worth anything and are using just to fill that. And by gaining some love and some empathy for yourself, you realize what you're worse. And you realize what you deserve. And today, I can truly say, I am better than that girl that was living out of motels doing methamphetamine. Like that is not me anymore. I don't know her. I have this vision of my mind of me like wiping the drugs off the table and it never being a part of me anymore.

And I think people need to get that. I think you need to gain some love and some understanding for yourself to see that you deserve a better life. Yeah. Even like my kids, like today I deserve to be their mom. I didn't think I was worthy of my kids, you know, when Olivia was first born. And I mean, today I'm like, I deserve my children. I'm a good mom. I'm this.

You know, I'm able to compliment myself today. So yeah, I think it's important to gain some respect and some love, self-love. Yeah, so I can relate to so much of that stuff for sure. So we'll start to wrap it up here. But I'm wondering if somebody's listening to this podcast, they're struggling to get or stay sober. Would you have anything that we haven't touched on for them? I think people say it all the time. There's so many cliches and alcoholics anonymous, but I truly believe them,

just get connected, reach out for help, go to a meeting, message someone on Instagram whose story you connect with. I love receiving messages from people that are just like, hey, I'm having a bad day, but I really loved what you said today. Like, that's so cool. Even if I don't know you or if you don't know that person, just get connected and reach out. And don't be afraid to say when you're not okay. And like you and I talked about, fake it till you make it. I've gone to meetings drunk. I've gone to meetings high. And all you have to do is really just show up and really decide if you want to be sober or not. Like a lot of the times you're just not done.

A lot of people still have to do more research. Like they're thinking like, okay, I want to get sober, but they don't really know. Really think if you're done, you know. Yeah, I know. I'll never forget. I'll never forget the research on that. Yeah, no, I like that. We talked a little bit before too about I literally got started on my journey of

sobriety of recovery, like five years before I actually got started on it. Yeah. Like I was taking stuff in and then when things I came together, things started to make sense. I was like, wow, everything I did over the last five years, therapists, meetings, church, rehab, detox, everything where I thought at the time it didn't help. I'm like, man, I got out of rehab. I got out of this and I'm back at it again. It didn't help. It didn't work. But when I look back, everything worked a little bit. Right. And really listen when you go to a meeting. And like I said, listen for the similarity is not the differences. Keep a really open mind. And I think you'll be

so surprised at how much you relate to everyone. Yeah, that's so true. Yeah, so true because we sometimes just try to find reasons why we don't belong somewhere. And just giving us the golden nugget here and find out the reasons why we do belong where we are. And, you know, listen to the message that is similar to what you're going through. Because like you mentioned before earlier on the episode, it's very easy for us to say, I'm not that bad.

I'm not like that. I'm not like that. But, you know, what I've realized, too, if you're not. not like that maybe yet. And maybe you'll never be what you're comparing it to, but this stuff is progressive. Jen brought that up earlier. It's progressive. So you never know when that bridge will come and you'll be over it.

And you'll surprise yourself with how this thing kind of shows its ugly face everywhere. Because I said that when I first started, I will never do this. I'll never do that. I'll never do that. When I look back, I did dang near all. I did all of it. Same. I can totally relate.

So, well, you know what? you've done incredible work. I'm so proud of you and thank you so much for coming on here and sharing your screen. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. It was great. Well, another incredible episode. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Jen really opened up the door for us and shared what it was like before she got sober, what the struggle was like and a little bit about what things are like now, but it's an incredibly powerful story and I feel like it just shows that sobriety is possible for anyone and everyone who wants to do some work and wants to put one foot in front of the other and string some days together

you might you just might surprise yourself about what your life can look like after you're able to do that for a little bit of time so thank you for checking out the podcast and as always if you're enjoying it be sure to leave a review on your favorite podcasting platform and I'll see you on the next one