Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Life changing advice I got years ago in rehab- Brad

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

During this short solo episode, I (Brad) share a story about some advice I got as a teenager in rehab that would change my life forever. Fake it until you make it! ❤️ Follow me on IG

Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of the Super Motivation podcast. Today is going to be something completely different. I'm going to rock solo on the episode, and I really want to share something that completely changed my life forever. Let me talk a little bit about the buildup behind this. So in 2004, 2005, things were just completely out of control for me. I was a teenager at the time in high school. and my life was completely out of control,

countless suspensions from school, running away from home, depressed, anxiety, insecurities to the max, on probation, struggling with ADHD, and a breakup from a dumpster fire of a relationship. And my parents did what all good parents would do is try to intervene somehow. So I was having suicidal thoughts,

so my parents got me admitted, for the second time to a psychiatric ward at a hospital. And while I was there, they had somebody come in and talk to me about possibly going to this treatment program. So this one program I met with these people were, it was a three-month program. It wasn't very far from where I lived, maybe 45 minutes or so, and it was this voluntary type program where you would have to agree to go and behave and all that type stuff. but I was completely defiant.

Here I was in the psych ward trying to get some help for the other stuff, but really not knowing how. And I refused to go to that one program. So my parents kind of came up with another idea, so there was a program in Knoxville, Tennessee that they didn't tell me anything about at the time. But I woke up my seventh day at the hospital,

and there was somebody kicking on the bed. this was a big, big fellow, maybe 250 pounds. And there was a woman there as well. And they said, you know, we're going to take you to this rehab and stuff. Basically what I figured out a little bit later is that this was like a security transport team of people. They were going to bring me to this other program because if my parents would have done it, I would have just ran away. And I did end up running away from these people as well.

I told them I'd used the washroom, and I ran from them at the washroom, so at the rest stop. So it was interesting. Eventually, I was caught by a state trooper, put in handcuffs, and back on my way to this treatment center that I knew absolutely nothing about, and I didn't agree to go, but your parents at the time were allowed to, you know, technically force you to go and get help. so that's what was going on. So I ended up at this treatment center, and it was called Peninsula Village.

And it's a basement where you start out. So there's chicken wire over the windows. There's three staff. They have little buzzers around their neck that they would press in case there was a restraint or somebody wasn't behaving. So I was put in, brought to this place in right outside of Knoxville, Tennessee,

called Peninsula Village. and this was a program. I knew absolutely nothing about it. I walked into this basement. And I just had a really bad feeling about this. This was not going to be a short stay. I had already passed up on the shorter stay. This was going to be a long stay.

And this place had really, really strict rules. Everything was structured. When you went to the bathroom, you had 90 seconds to go pee and three minutes to go poo. and your showers were time seven minutes. There was no talking during the day. You had to raise your hand.

Every time you wanted to ask something, and there was rules for everything. And it was basically a time, when I look back, a time to break you down so that the rest of the program, they could build you up. But I was so defiant. After two months living in this basement,

you never went outside. You took vitamin D pills. I still struggled to follow the basic rules, and I would just not follow the rules and not get along and not do what I was told so I could move to the other parts of the program. You know, most people would stay about one, you know, maybe max two months down here in the basement. They called it the special treatment unit. And was it ever special?

So after a while, the staff there never really got personal with you. We would do a couple groups a day. We would do chores. We would clean the place. You weren't allowed to freely talk with anybody else. that was there. You could talk in the groups, and that was pretty much it.

You did your schoolwork. You sat on your bunk. And it was a very strange place. But I wasn't getting it. I wasn't figuring it out, and I wasn't following the rules. I wasn't able to consistently follow the rules. I had good times,

and then I would kind of fall back. There was this one counselor there. Name was Mr. Riddle. Mr. Riddle told me, I'll never forget this guy, Mr. Riddle, because before I asked any question, I had to recite the 12 steps, one till 12, and get everything right,

or else I couldn't ask the question. And I would have to wait two hours before I could try again. So I would have to stand up in front of everybody, say the 12 steps, and then I would get an opportunity to ask my question. So that was interesting as well. but I'll tell you what. I remembered those 12 steps.

So he mentioned to me one day because I obviously wasn't getting it and this wasn't a place where that if you didn't get it, they just sent you packing. You would have to work through it or they would keep you down there for four months if they needed to or five months or six months. There wasn't a completion date.

So that one day, he told me, he said, look, if you can't get this, If you can't figure out what you need to do to get out of here and get into the next part of the program, then you need to fake it until you make it. And I sat with that. I had no idea what he was talking about. Fake it until you make it. And then it kind of clicked.

Maybe a week or two later, it kind of clicked. I'm like, I know what he's talking about. I just need to kind of put on a show here. I need to put on a show here that I'm willing to follow the rules that I'm willing to to do what I need to do to move on to the next level. You know, and then I was like, well, you know, maybe then I'll, I'll get out of here a little bit sooner. So I did exactly that.

I started to do everything. Yes, to everything, do everything that I needed to do. Everything, I saw other people do it. I knew it needed to be done. And I just flipped everything around. I started to do that with everything. Fake it until you make it. Whether I wanted to do it or not, I just faked it until I made it.

I just did it. what I figured out, the whole program lasted about a year, but what I figured out is that that would be some of the most life-changing advice that I ever got in my life. Basically, what I took from that was that you can do things before you think you're ready to do them. I wasn't ready to follow the rules. I wasn't ready to look inside myself, be honest with myself,

make changes, and do what I needed to do to grow as a person. and I wasn't ready to do that. I was holding on to who I was for so many different reasons as a teenager. And I wasn't ready to let go on that. But when he told me that and it kind of clicked in and everything kind of made sense a couple weeks later, I started to get it. And I carried that sort of idea with me through that program

and through the rest of my life to just believe that I don't have to be ready for anything. And then, you know, when I did end up getting into recovery, that was a big part of it. I never set out on my journey to be sober. I set out on my journey to just not be miserable anymore. I just couldn't wake up feeling sick, not holding a job, living on my brother's couch, being a convicted felon. I just couldn't live with the failure anymore. So I decided to maybe give things to try. Maybe I could try to work on being a better person.

Maybe I could try to work on helping other people. Maybe I could just try to do things a little bit differently because I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to face myself. And for me, that's what recovery meant. Recovery and sobriety meant that it was going to be me versus me. And I really wasn't ready to look at that. I just felt like I had failed so many times over and over and over again. But I remembered that, and it was many years later.

It was many, many years later from the day I heard that in the treatment center until I decided to start my recovery journey, but I just couldn't help forget about it, what he had told me that day, and how I already applied it to my life in so many different ways. ways and how I continue to apply it to my life. And the reason I'm bringing this up is I saw a meme, it went viral. And the meme goes like this. Don't fake it till you make it. That's garbage advice.

Face it till you make it. Get up, work hard, fail, stand back up, face it again. Do a little better. Fail again. Get back up, repeat. That's what the meme says. The big part there, though, is don't fake it until you make it. That's garbage advice.

And I think for some, it probably is garbage advice. But I was at a spot then in my life when I first heard that, that I didn't have what it took to get up and work hard. And when I first started my recovery journey, I was so low. I was so beaten up. I didn't have any confidence in myself. I didn't have anything at the time to get up.

up for. I didn't have a job. I didn't have many friends. I had a suitcase that belonged to me with maybe five sets of clothes in it, in a flat screen TV that I bought from Best Buy on a credit card that I never paid. So I had it in my possession, but it didn't really belong to me. And that's all I had. So, I mean, I think it's easy to say, you know, face. it till you make it, get up, work hard, fall, stand back up. Well, I didn't have what it took to do any of that. So what did I do? I faked it till I made it. I showed up to those recovery meetings. I reached out for help. I picked up that 3,000 pound phone, even though everything inside of me said, don't do it. I picked it up and I asked for help. No part of me, other than maybe 2%,

wanted to do any of those things. But I knew if I kept showing up, if I kept spending time around the right people, if I kept showing up for myself, that maybe it would be possible for me to have a better life. And I look back now, 12, 13 years ago, I was right.

That's what it took for me. I wasn't ready to get sober. I had no idea. I wanted to quit using everything so bad. Every day I didn't want to keep going, but I had no idea on how to do it. And that fake it till you make it

just made me come to a place to where it was okay that I wasn't ready. It was okay that I didn't have it all figured out. It was okay that I didn't have all the answers. But I could still do something about it. It empowered me to believe, just enough at the time very little, but it was enough to get me out of bed in the morning,

put one foot in front of the other, and keep plugging away. And I fell down so many times and so many things didn't work out. And I was disappointed and all that sort of stuff we go through on this journey. But I got back up and I faked it until I made it. So I just want to put that out there for anybody who

it might be on the fence. And it could be with your sobriety or it could be with anything in life. I mean, this podcast, for example. I had no idea. I ordered the podcasting equipment and two days later. It came on Amazon and three days later

I was recording the first episode with Luke. We met to record the episode. I couldn't get the stuff working. I talked to Luke a couple hours later, we recorded our first episode and we're off to the races. I had no idea. I still have no idea.

But I keep doing it. Keep showing up. There's so many instances in my life where I use this, and it helped me move past something I didn't think I was ready for to start the work, to get uncomfortable, and start doing what I needed to do. So if you're stuck with your sobriety or anything in life, maybe this will be helpful to you.

Maybe you're more in line with the meme. That this is garbage advice. That's okay to. Face it. Tell you make it. That's what the other meme says. But for me, the fake it till you make it, it always rings true.

Because I just feel like I said earlier, it just completely empowers me to take chances. It completely empowers me to get started, even though I don't have all the answers. And it just completely empowers me to be a best. better person to really show up in this world how I want to. The moral of the story is just because you're not ready does not mean you have to stay

where you are. It does not mean you cannot start working on where you want to be. Thinking this way means I will never be stuck for long because I'm willing to work on what I have yet to master. This also helps me cut down on any excuses that I might. have or that I had early on in my recovery journey because whether or not you have all the answers, you've got to get started somewhere. Fake it until you make it.

So if this is what it takes, fake it until you make it. Start acting as if you are already where you want to go. You'll be joining me because I use this every single day. I wanted to drop a solo episode just to share a little bit about. my experience with everybody. There you go. Let me know what you think, though. Let me know. Send me a message. Send me an email. Hey, Brad, this was helpful. This wasn't helpful. Get back to the interviews. I'm open to everything. So thank you for the support. And happy holidays.