Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Lisa wondered why was alcohol so important to her? Sobriety was the next step.

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

In this episode, we have Lisa, who shares her compelling story of sobriety and reclaiming her life. Growing up  Lisa faced a challenging childhood with a mother suffering from MS. Despite her struggles with self-esteem, she discovered sports as an outlet. However, in high school, alcohol became a coping mechanism for fitting in and dealing with uncomfortable feelings. Lisa recounts her college years, marked by risky behavior and other challenges, underscoring the central role alcohol played in her life. Her 20s and 30s saw professional achievements, including a career as a police officer. But personal losses, family tragedies, and health setbacks led to a deeper dependency on alcohol. A turning point in 2023, driven by sheer frustration with the control alcohol had over her, catalyzed her sobriety journey, marked by strong community support, embracing online platforms, and a profound commitment to self-care. Lisa shares insights about the importance of community, gratitude, and acknowledging the challenges of sobriety. And this is Lisa’s story on the Sober Motivation podcast. Lisa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisa_m_amos/ Join the Sober Motivation Community: https://sobermotivation.mn.co More information on SoberLink: https://www.soberlink.com/recover   00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome 00:34 Lisa's Challenging Childhood 02:14 Struggles with Fitting In 03:48 Early Encounters with Alcohol 05:09 High School and the Start of Drinking 13:44 College Years and Escalating Issues 19:18 Post-College Life and Career Beginnings 24:15 Finding Purpose in Policing 28:11 Major Life Changes and Daily Drinking 31:37 Reflecting on Past Counseling Experiences 32:13 The Journey to Sobriety Begins 32:50 Struggles and Attempts to Quit Drinking 35:35 Finding the Right Support and Tools 37:26 Embracing a Sober Lifestyle 39:17 The Importance of Community 40:43 Overcoming Challenges and Celebrating Success 53:59 Sober Travel and New Experiences 57:20 Final Thoughts and Advice for the Journey

Welcome back to season three of the Suburmotivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. In this episode, we have Lisa, who shares her compelling story of sobriety and reclaiming her life. Growing up, Lisa faced a challenging childhood with a mother suffering from NS. Despite her struggles with self-esteem, she discovered sports as an outlet. However, in high school, alcohol became a coping mechanism.

for fitting in and dealing with the uncomfortable feelings of life. Lisa recounts her college years marked by risky behavior and other challenges underscoring the central role alcohol played in her life. Her 20s and 30 saw professional achievements including a career as a police officer, but personal losses, family tragedies, and health setbacks led to a deeper dependency on alcohol. A turning point in 2003 driven by sheer frustration with the control alcohol had over her, her sobriety journey began, marked by a strong community support embracing online platforms and a profound commitment to self-care.

Lisa shares insights about the importance of community gratitude and acknowledging the challenges of sobriety. And this is Lisa's story on the sober motivation podcast. Hey, what's going on everyone? My goodness, another episode. This is so cool to record episodes with people that I've known from the sober community that I've been involved with in different communities and it knows so much of their story, but I feel like there's just so much I still don't know. I want to give a big shout out to everybody who's given the sober motivation community a try. It's just incredible this morning hosted a meeting in there, talked about gratitude, talked about boundaries on the sober journey, and it's just so incredible how we can learn from each other. Take up on different skills and find out

what's working for other people and then maybe incorporate that into our own life. If you're looking for an incredibly supportive community where you can connect 24-7, attend, our Zoom virtual live meetings. I'm hosting three to four a week. It just depends. We have some other incredible hosts as well. Lots of opportunity to stay connected, to grow in your sobriety, also to help out other people that might just be getting started or are stuck.

Somewhere along the line, it is an incredible opportunity for you to really grow, make your sobriety stick, and really make this a lifestyle. I'll drop the link down to the show notes below so you can grab a two-week free trial to the sober motivation community, and I would love to see you over there to give it a try, and hopefully you'll fall in love with everything we have going on, just like so many other people have. I've taken the device everywhere with me. It's gone on camping trips, holiday vacations, even Iceland. It was really useful for when I wanted to travel, I wanted to be able to visit friends, and really be able to live my life. These quotes are from Soberlink users who have

found peace of mind while enjoying vacations, even in early alcohol recovery, when traveling can feel scary. Maybe you're nervous about being away from your support system or your loved ones are concerned about a possible relapse. That's where Soberlink comes in. Here's how Soberlink keeps you accountable. You'll test at scheduled times each day, two to three times a day, facial recognition confirms your identity, tamper sensors detect any attempts to cheat the system. An instant easy-to-read results are sent directly to your loved ones, giving them peace of mind while you're enjoying your time away. Soberlink isn't just about proving you're sober. It's about building confidence in your recovery even when you're miles away.

Soberlink, proof of sobriety at your fingertips wherever life takes you. Visit soberlink.com slash recover to sign up and receive $50 off your device today. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got my friend Lisa with us. Lisa, how are you? I'm great. Happy to be here. Yeah, thank you so much for jumping on here.

We've known each other a little bit in the squares as some people. call it for a while now and it's great to just have you jump on the podcast and share your story with this. So what was it like for you growing up? I had, I think a lot of people have tough childhoods. I think it's just tough being a child, but I grew up with a mom who was wheelchair bound with multiple sclerosis. By the time I was probably in my early 20s, she was completely paralyzed. But when I was younger in an elementary school and high school and everything, she was still in a wheelchair. My father, you know, at times he was there, suffering support, but he also had kind of a mercurial temper. So sometimes he could be a really nice

guy and sometimes he could just fly off the handle, which made it really hard for me because I was super sensitive. I was an only child. I always felt like I was different partially because I had a mom who was in a wheelchair and, you know, having red hair. And I just always felt like I didn't fit in. And then what kind of changed and created a lot of trauma for me is when I was nine years old, my dad forced my mom into a nursing home and ostensibly to live, although she was later able to get herself out. But, I mean, as a child, I was just devastated. I just remember, like, I was left alone in the house a lot by myself. Sometimes I would stay with neighbors. My mom was taken away from me. And that was really like a crucial point in my life, I think, because at that point, I kind of, had to learn to rely on myself, which in some ways has served me well because I'm very independent, but I really don't think any little nine-year-old should have to be like, you know, fending for themselves. So, yeah, 100% on that. Where did you grow up? In Palo Alto, California, like Silicon Valley, Northern California.

Okay, gotcha. So you mentioned that too, and that's a common thread from a lot of people's stories, right, is that noticing at some point, you know, some earlier and some maybe later or long in their life, but realizing too, like being uncomfortable and having trouble fitting in, I mean, what did that look like for you specifically as you kind of go through those, you know, grade school years? I mean, I think even though at times I did fit in, I never felt like I fit in. And I can honestly say I felt that to some extent, like my whole life until I got sober. and wasn't, I think it just crushed my confidence. And I think I had a lot of friends, but I just never felt like I was good enough.

And that carried over even when I played sports, even when, you know, I went to college. It's just, I don't know, I just had like low self-esteem. Yeah. Now, I can relate with you on that because it was a really hard thing for me to understand, but also express, like, earlier on in life because I did have the friends and did play sports, but it didn't matter what crowd or how many people are around. I always had that sense of feeling different or feeling alone. And then I would talk with people about and they'd say, well, you have all these friends. You have all this. You have parents, all this stuff. And I was like,

I just couldn't put a finger on it, but I always had that internal. It was almost like a feeling of anxiety, right? Just like in your stomach can't meet up to the expectations. And if I was able to, it was really hard. And then it still just, it faded so fast. So at nine years old, then your mom is into, in the, where was that? Like a hospital or something that she went to? Yeah, it was like a skilled nurse. What's now called a skilled nursing facility, I think it was called a nursing home. It was a pretty bad place.

Neighbors and friends took me to visit her. And I just remember it was, you know, not clean, smelled awful. She was depressed, lost like a ton of weight. And I just was, I just remember sitting there in the lobby while a neighbor was talking. to her and I later realized, I later learned that it was, they were kind of planning her escape, so to speak. But I just remember just sitting there just crying in this lobby and just being so devastated. I mean, and I think not only at that time, but other times in my earlier childhood, I think I actually did suffer from depression, but, you know, when you're a kid, you don't know

what depression is. And I remember like telling my mom like, oh, I feel lonely. I feel lonely. And I think it was because, like, I've later read that children are able to articulate what the actual feeling is. And I think I was just, like, sad. Even after she was able to get an attorney and get herself back out and lived in our home, I think it had kind of almost crushed me a little bit. And then I don't think I was ever happy and carefree after that point. Yeah, wow. So as you go through, like, middle school type thing, what does your life look like through there? You know, it's, again, on the outside, fine. I mean, I started playing competitive tennis when I was nine years old. So I played tennis. I was on sports teams. But again, just really low self-esteem. I also gained weight a little bit, like towards the end of elementary school and then through seventh grade. And then I remember between seventh grade and eighth grade, I lost a bunch of weight. So it was interesting. And so when I lost weight, I got all this attention and started getting invited to like junior high school parties.

and was kind of like popular for a while. Drinking was not a part of my life then, thankfully. So then I kind of feel like I did well sort of, I was a little happier then. And then going into high school, you know, I had the usual nerves kind of going into high school, but again, because I had sports, I had tennis and soccer.

And so I think that really helped me because, you know, we talk about community all the time. It's like when you're on a sports team, it is a community for, you know, for better, for worse. It is a family. You have structures. you have responsibility. I had to make sure my homework was done after. I mean, I think I'm a person who really needs the structure. And so I think in high school, that was really important and really

helpful until junior year when I discovered alcohol. And some of that kind of went by the wayside because I just wasn't as motivated. I mean, it kind of demotivated me, to be honest. Like, I was only partying on the weekends, but then I was probably hung over at least minimally Saturday or Sunday. You know, then it just starts your week off wrong, right? And then at one point, my senior year, I dropped off the tennis team, and I think I was writing on the high school newspaper, and I think I stopped that too for literally no reason other than I'm partying with friends. And I think it just kind of demotivated me, and then that became a little bit more of a focus. Yeah. So in high school, your junior year, how did that all play out? And I mean, growing up,

Were you around alcohol much? So what I thought was a house that had almost no alcohol when it was just so after my mom got herself out of the nursing home, it was just my mom, myself, and a caregiver living there. My dad had moved out. There was no alcohol in the house at that time. Over the years, my dad sort of moved in, moved out. And, you know, just so just for the backstory, I did continue to have a relationship with my father on and off for my whole life until he, you know, until he passed away. But now I look back, and I think there was a bit more drinking on his part than I knew. At one point, he had been living in the house.

This was when I was in college, and he lived in a separate room, and he had a whole bunch of liquor bottles, like, almost a bar up on a shelf in a closet. And I remember thinking when there had been little bits of alcohol in my parents' house, like, it was just in the pantry. Like, we didn't have a bar. We weren't, you know, fancy. But I remember there would be like, you know, some bottles of liquor in the closet. But I was like, so all of a sudden I was like, wait, why are you having to put that in your room? Like, why isn't it just in the pantry? Like, I was confused.

I also think there was a little bit more drug addiction, prescription drug addiction there. And I ever thought when my parents passed, they had bags of prescription medicines and like everything from opiates to valium. And I think looking back, my mom was pretty medicated and she probably deserved to be. I mean, you know, imagine the stress of being paralyzed in a wheelchair. And she was, you know, she was a great mom. She did activities. She joined ladies leagues. She lived her life the best she could.

But I'm looking back now and I'm like, yeah, I think Valium may have been a player. And then after, as she was getting sicker and sicker, I think they really overmedicate. hated her with Vicodin, but I'm getting off topic a little bit. But so, no, I didn't grow up in a household with a lot of alcohol. I later learned that my pater, my dad's dad, my paternal grandfather, who I had never met. My grandmother divorced him back in a time when it was not common to divorce because he had apparently been an alcoholic. So there's a little history of it. Yeah, gotcha. So there was some, but not something that was just right out there and in front of, you know, in front of you in a sense at that time, right?

to pick up on. So you get this opportunity in your junior year to start drinking. How does that come about? Did you know the dangers of it or like any education around that? I do remember when I was younger my parents having parties where there was wine and sometimes the fancy martinis with the shaker and all that kind of stuff. It was not often, right? So, and then there was a lot of TV in the late 60s and early 70s where alcohol was very much grammarized. And so my first time getting drunk, I was babysitting, and I went over to the nice, lovely people's houses, and after the kids went to bed, I decided it was a really good idea to raid their liquor cabinet. So I started mixing, God knows what, ended up getting so sick, threw up in their bathroom, don't even know if I managed to clean it up.

I was looking back, I was like, God, I hope they were drinking so they didn't smell how bad I smelled. They drove me home, and needless to say, I never heard from them again. So that was my first time, really getting drunk. I remember at parties not really, like not getting super drunk, but. Yeah. Different people share like different stories, right? I had my first drink. It had no effect on me. I moved on with my life and it crept back in maybe later. Other people share, you know what? It was kind of love at first sight. Like I felt maybe whole in that moment. Maybe all the insecurities that I went through in life. Maybe everything that I was so worried about kind of slipped away. Maybe I was more accepted by my peers or by myself. I'm always kind of curious to see how it was those first time

or the first couple times, you know, for people when they get involved with it, right? Like, I don't necessarily think it's like an indicator of, hey, this is going to be a problem down the road. But I think it's kind of like that perfect storm in a sense leading up, right? You have this stuff happening from when you're younger and all of this stuff going on. And what you mentioned earlier really stood out to me. When we're younger, we don't know how to articulate necessarily what's going on with us. So it's really hard to get the help and stuff that we need, right? Because we're just not there. And then we find alcohol. And maybe that sort of checks a few of the boxes for us. And I'm just kind of curious to see if that's anything you can relate to with your experience. Oh, yeah. For sure. I mean, so we, you know, like I said,

we did have a little bit of alcohol in the house. I think at a fairly young age, like high school or something, I was allowed to have a little glass of champagne or something on the holidays. And then in high school, too, if we went to a party, it was always fun at first. And to answer your question, I had no idea how bad alcohol was for me. Even though we probably had like dare or something like that when I was in high school, it was probably more focused on drinking and driving or something like that. But yeah, I mean, I definitely felt like I fit in with a certain, you know, with the kids who partied. And it was fun.

You know, I was invited to parties in high school. So that was a way I sit in. Yeah. So, I mean, definitely it was a positive experience at first. Now, did I suffer hangover? Sure. But I just didn't know any different. To me, that was just part for the course.

Because everybody else would be like, oh, I was still bringing over on Saturday. Yeah. Even when you first started, too, I don't know if it was like that for you. But the wilder was, the kind of cooler it was, right? you're, you kind of celebrated for that type of stuff, right? And at the time when I look back, we were just innocently having fun in a sense, right? Like, it wasn't, you know, the risky behaviors and all that stuff didn't, you know, really explode the serious stuff in the beginning.

It was just, we having fun. We were connecting. We were, you know, I mean, I did the dare program too. The big part of the dare program was like, just say no, right? And so, okay, we already passed that. We're past that part. So on to the next one. Yeah.

So as you go through high school and stuff, it just kind of sounds like from what I'm getting here that just kind of picks up. But it's still at a very manageable stage, right, where it's not, you know, things are not getting too far out of hand here. You mentioned college. What did that look like for you? And what was your direction there? I think college was when, in the back of my mind, nothing that I could have articulated, I started to realize drinking was not serving me. I went to UMass Amherst huge party school, although I feel like everyone thinks their school is the biggest party school. But I definitely started looking forward to the weekends so I could drink, not just so I could have fun, not just so I didn't have to go to school.

Like, it started to be very important in my life. And that's when I started to have some bad effects, you know, basically like getting date raped one time, going purposely with a guy to his apartment. and then basically he just wouldn't drive me home. I remember walking home in like rural, the area outside Massachusetts, it's trying to get back to my dorm. And I think I finally went to a pay phone and called the police and they came and picked me up and dropped me back in my dorm, which is really lucky and nice.

I'm sure they were so used to the party scene there that they, you know, they probably had to really, you had to do something real bad to get arrested for drinking in public, put it that way. But that's when I started to have like more risky behavior, more, it started to affect my mental health. That was the first time I think I was my sophomore year I ever experienced a really debilitating bout of depression and anxiety to the point where I would not leave my dorm room for several days.

I would, interestingly, I would leave to go on a jog, and then I would come back. Like, or I'd take a shower in the back. Like, I would not eat. I wouldn't do anything else. Like, it was, yeah, really bad. And then ultimately, that led to me dropping out the next year. And I know alcohol just was the reason for my not succeeding at that school. I think I may have told this story on one of your meetings, but when I was a sophomore,

I had a friend, a really nice friend, and she was like a good student. She didn't party. You know, she was pretty. She exercised so sweet, so nice. And I loved this girl. And why I couldn't just stay and go to the library with her. No, I had to go party. If there was an opportunity to party, I would go. I was never saying no to a kegger. I was never saying no to going into town. Like, why I can just stay and study with this nice girl and be like her. And I think that may have been the first time I ever, like, actively admired someone who didn't drink. And I don't know that she didn't drink at all, but she, you know, she was a good girl. Like she did what she needed to do. She was in college for a reason, you know, to get an education. God only knows why I was there. But, you know, But yeah, I just, that was one of the first people who I really thought, I should probably be more like her.

And then that kind of actually ended up in my 20s. I actually started to kind of admire people who didn't drink because I couldn't be that person or I didn't want to be that person. And I just thought like at one point I worked at a gym after I dropped out of college. I was working at a gym in Cambridge, Massachusetts. And a couple of the other fitness instructors just didn't drink. And I just remember being like, gosh, why can't I be like that? And not like I really tried, but I just remember admiring that. Yeah.

Going through that story, too, in college there, did you experience blackouts when you're drinking? I'm pretty sure I did. I didn't know what they were. I heard the term. I didn't. I'm, yeah, 99% sure I did. Yeah. So you're starting even in your college time here.

It's not maybe the most overwhelming idea, but you're definitely. having the thoughts of, you know, why couldn't I or why couldn't I just be someone who's not drinking, right? And maybe, you know, have to avoid all this stuff. Even to go even further down the road, I think about my life and all the times I got in trouble with whatever it was in relationships with, you know, countless things. I'm like, alcohol was at the center of everything. And since deciding not to drink, I'm like literally, it's like all of that stuff doesn't happen anymore. And it's, wow, that's kind of, that's kind of weird. You know, all these situations don't happen in my life anymore. Now, I mean, of course, that aside, a life still does happen. And there,

there are things that come up. It's not everything is avoided. But a lot of the stuff is, it's not a part of life anymore. So, you know, that's a heavy thing, too. And I can relate with you on the college route, too. Like, it was just, you know, it was good. I gave it a shot, but it didn't work out the first try. But it was really tough. It was really tough, right? Because other people are making it look so doggone easy. Like they're hyped up for it. And I was hyped up, I think, for the social life and not the other part. You know, after a while, the other part kind of caught up with me. I was able to kind of manipulate and, you know, squeeze my way in and try to stay in the game for a little bit. But then they were just like, you know, you're not showing up. There's, you can't stay.

Yeah. Don't you feel like looking back like, out? well, it just made your life so much harder than it needed to be. Yeah, 110% it did. But I was probably faced with that same dilemma, if we could, of, you know, why don't I just not drink? Yeah. You know, like I knew that, hey, this was causing problems for me. Why don't I just not do it? And I guess we'll kind of get into sort of, you know, that story.

Because I think before, and we taught before we jumped on here, I think before we actually do quit. For a lot of people, they share there's many years of, you know, maybe a back and forth in a sense of, you know, different things. So moving through after this college thing, you get this job at the gym, right? You're seeing more people that don't drink and looking up to that in a sense. How does the rest of your life look kind of going through, you know, after this and moving forward? When my 20s were on some level kind of uneventful in other levels, that's when my drinking really, I had periods where it was really bad. So I had a boyfriend when I was UMass and when I dropped out of school I broke up with him but then because I guess I was always just

wanting to fit in always needed to have someone I got back together with him and moved to Boston so I had moved back to California and then several months later moved back to Boston so now I was living in Boston we did not stay together but he ended up working at a bar in Cambridge and the drinking was just ridiculous the fights the I mean he and I but also like the fights at the place I mean it was It was kind of a rough time in the early 80s in Boston anyway. And then, I mean, you know, that relationship fizzled out. And so fortunately, when I stopped being around him working at the bar, I did have a period where I kind of, I was working at this gym. I did have good influences. The management was not big drinkers. If we had a party, there was maybe like a little bit of

wine. So I kind of was able to taper off for some of the time. Then I became friends with the people who were, you know, drinking and doing coke. So then I kind of went through that, say, But in my later 20s, I started having like a professional job at a real estate development company. And, you know, then it was just I did a few different things. Ultimately, I ended up in healthcare administration. But that's when I was kind of like just having some wine with dinner. And I could actually stay home on the weekends. It was almost like I was feeling more fulfilled and feeling better about myself. So I wasn't always like searching. Like I wasn't always using alcohol to fill a void or. or to go out and meet people, you know, I actually could stand my own company. So in my late 20s, I would say, although my drinking was much more contained, inside, I always knew it wasn't serving me. Now, did I keep doing it for another, you know, however many years, 20-something years? Yes.

But I was already knowing, oh, why is alcohol so important to you? Yeah, that's a million-dollar question right there. Yeah. Have you even maybe even skipping further along though? I mean, have you come to going to answer for a question like that? I think it was just the low self-esteem. I think I was maybe lonely sometimes. I wanted the connection. I wanted to fit in. And some of it was just that inability to sit with myself. And it's so interesting now that I've been sober for a while. Like, I love not going out. And I never thought I would be that first. Like, I love staying at home with a book. Or, you know, you have plans and somebody cancels on you. I'm like, yes. I'm like, I don't have to go out.

Awesome. I mean, it's just like I'm such a different person. And, you know, I do really reflect. I think we've talked about this before. I just really reflect on all those years when I could have just had so much more of a peaceful life with so much more freedom without alcohol looming so large, you know. Yeah. I'm with you on that 100% for sure. We always look back, you know, I mean, you often hear kind of two people talk about it, you know, I mean, they wish they did it sooner.

And I've yet to hear somebody regret making the decision, you know, to put it down and to move on with their life, even though it is difficult at times. And in the beginning and, you know, even further along, it can be difficult too. So this is kind of your 20s wrapping up there. I mean, going into your 30s, are you dating at the time that you get these other jobs as well or no? Yeah, I mean, because I couldn't get my shed together, I had one boyfriend for the one that I moved to Boston for. We were together like three years. Then I had a break. Then I was with my next boyfriend for five years. Not a huge drinker. There was not actually a lot of drinking in that relationship, which was great. But that was not going in a direction that I wanted it to go. And it wasn't like I was just looking to get married. It was just I felt like I was really being taken for granted, which I was actually, ended up breaking up with him. And, um, dating someone else who became my fiance. Then again, I'm sure this is where the alcohol and just that alcoholic mind plays into it. I was just like lost. I broke off that engagement, then tried to get back together with the one I had been with for five years. They both drove me

crazy and I ended up moving back to California, which was in hindsight, like a major, great decision, you know, that actually worked out really well. And so then I would, went through a period where I wasn't dating. And then I met someone who this led to my ultimate career. Through some friends, I met a guy who was an FBI agent. And, oh, I thought he was so cool and he was so handsome. And I very shortly thereafter, the relationship lasted all of maybe a month, but I decided I wanted to be an FBI agent. And so because I had not finished my degree years before, I enrolled in a college in Northern California in the Administration of Justice program. and was instantly talked out of federal law enforcement by one of my first professors who was like a retired local PD sergeant who was like, yeah, you don't want to go into federal law

enforcement. You'll just sit behind your whole career. I was like, yes, sir. He's like, you want to be a cop. I was like, I do, sir, okay. But you know what, darn if he wasn't right. So while I was getting that degree, I started volunteering at a local police department. I moved up real quickly in was working part-time in community policing division. Then I became a community service officer, then an officer, and ultimately lateral to a different department where I met my husband. But so, yes, that was my dream job. I loved it. I actually did not drink a lot when I knew I wanted to be a cop and when I was a cop. Just I knew I was going to be polygraphed. I knew I was going to have like medical tests. And plus two, like in my 30s was when I was kind of starting to learn

like how bad alcohol really is for us. And then, it was kind of starting, the hangovers were maybe starting to be like, oh, that could be because you're poisoning yourself. Like, I actually sort of understood why I was feeling crappy if I had a hangover. But yeah, I take it pretty seriously when I knew I wanted to be a cop. So, and then when I started working, you know, when you're new, a lot of times you're on midnight shift or swing shifts, and there just wasn't really any room for drinking other than maybe a couple drinks on the weekend. So I worked a lot of overtime. So in that regard, it was really good. I just had a sense of fulfillment. I felt good about myself, I was finally doing something. Part of my problem when I didn't have my degree was, again,

that theme, but I felt like I wasn't enough. Like, here are my friends my age who, you know, had their four-year degrees, if not an advanced degree. They were getting married. They were buying houses. They were, you know, having kids and doing like normal adult stuff where I was sort of just flailing about going from job to job. At one point I attended bar for quite a while, you know, And it's just, I always resented and was jealous of people who were like sort of living the American dream, right? But so then once I, you know, had a career that I loved, like it allowed me and finished my degree. I did finally get my four-year degree. It just, I think those two things both just brought so much self-confidence to me.

So, and I think that's all tied in. I think once I had more self-confidence for a while at least, I didn't need the crutch of the alcohol. Yeah, I mean, that other part there, too, like sounds like a little. a bit of a loss, a direction in a sense, right? What's my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing? You know, this is kind of what's going on for other people. What am I missing here, right? Nick, we can beat ourselves up in that. And then you get the job in policing. That was in your 30s. How long did you do that for? For eight years. Yeah. Unfortunately, I was involved in an on-duty crash and herniated disc in my neck and my mid-back. And I did try to go back, but I mean, I did everything I could to go

back. I went back a while and I just physically could not do the job. So unfortunately, I did have to retire medically and then kind of went into something completely different fashion design. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So that was eight years then. So you go on from this. And that might, it must have been devastating for you too, right? For this is what you found that you love and brings you purpose and in your passion to do. It sounds like it anyway. And then now you have to change years here, eight years later. Yeah, it was, it was a rough time. It was definitely a rough time having to give up my career. But interestingly, that's not when my daily drinking really started. You know, I had just kind of, they gave, at that time, they gave a little bit of re-education money if you

had to retire with a disability. And so I went back to fashion design school. I'd always been really interested in fashion. I started a knitwear and crochet wear business and then ended up doing some visuals and merchandising for a major corporation and started doing styling, kind of went off on my own. When my mom first, I mean, she was sick my whole life, but she got quite ill and was in ICU for a while in. I think it was 2009, so I took a leave of absence, but a lot of my clients still wanted to work with me doing personal fashion styling. So I kind of did that on the side, and then I went back to my job. I was a regional stylist in Northern California, and then when my mom passed, did just stop working there, but I had enough clients. So I started doing that personal styling,

and I did that pretty much up until COVID. But prior to that, when my drinking really took off, though, I can't remember the exact sequence, but it was like in 2009, my mom got sick, then my father-in-law died, then my mom died, then my mother-in-law died, and then my father died. And then a close personal friend died at 46 years old. So within two and a half years, we had five major deaths. And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013. And then my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2014. So there was just a lot of trauma. And after undergoing like a double mastectomy and number surgeries and treatment and whatnot, I had the opportunity later that year in 2013, go live in New York City, and which was a wonderful experience, and I am so happy I was able to do that.

And that's when my drinking became daily drinking. It's kind of, I feel like it's very much glamorized in New York City. It's also where I lived in Northern California, like you had to drive everywhere, but it was like in Upper Manhattan, like you could just walk, take the subway. I didn't even bring a car, right? So it was like, it was very much common for people to just go into a bar by themselves, a beautiful place, like not a divey dump or anything, but like, just saddle on up to the bar and have a drink and start talking to people. And, you know, I really, maybe it was after watching, like, sex in the city or something, but I thought it was just very glamorous. I remember sitting outside with my dog at a little outdoor cafe, sipping my wine and thinking, oh, this is just the best.

But the problem was, though, very quickly, it became daily. And that carried on for, you know, 10 years or 11 years until I got sober. Yeah. Wow. So, thank you. With all that other stuff, too, it's even going further back in the story, your story, too, there was a lot of stuff going on kind of right before you started drinking to begin with. And then now you've had sort of this, I don't know, more manageable thing with your policing career that that's accurate for it, but it's not really in the way of things. And then now a lot of stuff has happened in your life.

And it's maybe in one way or another opened up the door. Even up to this point, have you talked with anybody like about drinking or what? what role drinking is playing in your life or how you feel about it or what you're thinking? No, I had two, I don't remember what it's called, but the police department, or the city offers you, like, so many sessions of free counseling. Way back in the day, I had two counseling sessions regarding an incident that had happened, and other than that, I never had counseling. I had no PTSD counseling. I had no counseling after my mom died.

I remember very distinctly when I was a kid, my parents tried to get us into, family therapy. And I remember I was mortified. I'm like, I just didn't, like, who was going to know? I don't know why I thought. I was just so embarrassed because, you know, back then, people didn't talk about therapy like they do now. It wasn't like considered a great thing. It was considered like, oh, you've got a problem. But yeah, no, so until I successfully got sober, not the other times I tried to get sober. That was one of the things that I think was really helpful was I did finally get some therapy. Yeah. And your husband, too, you mentioned that you guys met on the job, right? Is he with you in New York as well throughout this time? He still working. So I had actually retired at that point

and had the cancer treatments and everything. And then he was still working. So he would come out when he could. I had other friends come and visit. So I was probably alone out of the three months I was there. I was probably alone maybe two-thirds of the time. Yeah. And so as this kind of picks up, I mean, so you mentioned you were drinking really since this time until you quit every day? Yeah, so let's see, 2013 until I first really tried to get sober. I had tried AA probably in about 2017, I think. And it just wasn't for me for a number of reasons, but the main of which is that I just was not ready to quit. I thought the people were nice.

I needed somebody to be like, okay, you're going to exercise every day. You're going to make sure you stay hydrated. And then you're going to read 10 pages of quitlet. Well, Quitlet wasn't actually that much of a thing back then. And so then, you know, it just kept drinking fast forward to 2022, where I started out doing dry January. I found Annie Grace, and I think I did their like path program or a 30-day program. And I couldn't make it through January. And then the whole year, all of 2022, I was just in and out. I would get maybe 10 days under my belt and then I would drink for another seven. And then I would quit for three and then I would drink for 10. And it just went

on and on the whole year. Now, that being said, during that time, I was, you know, reading Quitlit. I had discovered podcasts like yours. I was definitely planting the seed, but I just could not make it stick because I never made it to 30 days or 60 days or 90 days. So like when wise people used to tell me it gets easier, you have to stick with it. Like I was like, yeah, but I didn't understand that is the gods true. Like, until you get a significant amount of time under your belt, it's just not that easy. But so then fast forward to February of 2023, I love numbers. Because I always had a reason why I could keep drinking. I'm sure you've heard people say this a lot, but it's, you know, you're, you drip, you slip one day and then you're like, oh, why might as well

keep drinking because Susie's having a party next week? Or there was always some reason, like, I don't need to because I'm not going to the doctor for two weeks or whatever. My mind could always come up with some kind of a reason. But so I was going to quit in on 2.2323. So I took to date, but I could keep drinking up until then. Just so happened that on 2.13 of 23, which was my husband's birthday, I woke up with a raging hangover. And of course, it was his birthday. So I had to rally anyway and take him out to go play golf. And yeah, I remember distinctly riding in the cart. actually praying that I didn't throw up. And I'm not a barfer. So that's how I remember I was, that I actually thought I was going to, that was a potential. It didn't happen. But anyway, so I was like,

okay, I guess two, one, three, two, three is just as good. And so I literally just made that much a braddy day. And I did a lot of things different this time because I think it was actually Annie Grace, this naked mind. It was either her or Casey Davidson. I heard one of them say, if it's not sticking, if it's not working, you need to keep adding things to your sobriety toolkit. And I was like, okay. So, you know, after having cancer, as much as I was drinking every night, you know, I had gone vegan and was exercising every day and meditating and not eating candy. So for, you know, 10 years, I really avoided sugar because, you know, it's said that it contribute can feed cancer cells. But so I allowed myself to eat candy if I was feeling squirrely. I still the quitlet, podcasts, anytime I was driving in my car, I found a therapist.

You know, I was an exerciser before, but I definitely made sure that I was getting my exercise in the morning to start my day off right. This is when I discovered online communities and online meetings so beneficial. Yeah, just all the things. I threw anything at it that I could. I mean, like I, yeah, mock tales. As long as I had like a snack and something to drink at like the witching hour at cocktail hour, that was so helpful walking. My big thing I'm always talking about is like my gratitude journal. I hang my hat on that one because I think if you come from a place of gratitude rather than a place of lack, that makes everything in life so much easier. It just changes your mindset.

It makes being sober easier. It makes dealing with your friends and loves ones easier. It just makes everything easier. I did that, a little bit of meditation. I'm not a great meditator anymore, but just anything I could. If you suggested right now, you know, eating grapes is going to help your sobriety. I would try eating grapes. That's how serious I work out. And then, yeah, and I think I just found a different online sober community at about three months in. So I had somehow managed to make it three months on my own. That was the other thing in 2022. I did this all alone. I didn't tell anyone. I don't even think I told my husband or maybe sometimes I did.

I just, you know, white-knuckled out the whole way, and obviously that didn't work. So I think finding community was so helpful for me because now all of a sudden I had friends who understood and people who were encouraging as opposed to some of my friends, you know, back in California. We had since moved to Nashville. I forgot to mention that. But some of my friends where I lived before, there was a lot of drinking in my environment. There was a lot of drink pushing in my environment. There were a couple people who, when I said I was trying not to drink, would actively try to encourage me to drink, which is super childish. Those people are no longer in my life, needless to say. But yeah, I mean, I think I just, the atmosphere when we first

moved here, it's like party, party, party. We had all these people coming to visit. And it was so much fun, but it just escalated. So yeah, I'm so blessed that I was actually able to make it to her. Yeah. Thanks for sharing all that. And congratulations on, you know, turning things around for you. I mean, it's so interesting, right, too, because we kind of hinted at a little bit before and we chatted quickly.

And we've known each other for a while now from different meetings and stuff. And I always find it rather interesting how, you know, at the end there, right? You share this story, right? You're in the golf cart. It's a hangover. It's a bad one, but probably not one on its own, right? You've probably been there before where you're like, all right, this is not cool. And you're feeling really rough and you've got this date kind of set out in the future.

And you've been trying to go about this for a long time. A couple key things I picked up on there is doing it alone is one thing, right? White knuckling. We hear that kind of term a lot. And it's really hard to do. Some people do it, of course. There's people out there who do it. It's really hard to do when, like you mentioned there too, a lot of your other relationships,

people are, you know, still drinking. They're pushing you to drink. And then if you don't have anybody that is supporting you on the other side of things, it can get really overwhelming. I always refer to it if you want to play. If you want to be the best basketball player you can, you're not going to hire a football coach. You're going to have somebody who's in that lane who's doing what you do.

And the same thing for sobriety. If you're looking to get sober, it's great to lean on other people who may not have a problem, but it's even better to lean on people who have been through it, whether they identify is having a problem or, wherever they land, people that know what it's like, what's coming up for me, what should I be expecting, how can you help me? Okay, I get it. I've been there. And it's so interesting. What at the end there, right? Because there's stories like this so often, right? I think a lot

of people from the outside, Lisa, maybe with the lack of experience, think that, oh, right before somebody quits, they get that DUI or their wife or their husband or they lose the house or they lose the kids, you know, and we don't really on the podcast anyway. We don't really hear those stories, but I mean, what do you credit it to that day that you had whatever it took to say, this is my first day and I'm doing this thing? I think it started out like every other first day. Like, I didn't know that it was going to be the last first day. But I think I was just so sick of alcohol being so sensual in my life. I mean, it was, you know, know, you've probably heard the expression. It's, I was either thinking about drinking, drinking,

or recovering from drinking. I wouldn't do an activity if there wasn't alcohol involved. I mean, it was just, I think I was just so fed up. And, you know, now I look back and I'm like, that is really no way, that's kind of a sad way to live my life. I mean, when you think about it, it's like, it dictated everything. I mean, sure, like he said, I mean, I did not get a DUI. I did not end up in jail. Towards the end of my drinking, I was way higher functioning than I was, like, say, for example, in college where I was just a shit show. I mean, no, I mean, I was cleaning my house, I was making my bed, I was brushing my teeth, I was going to the gym, although that was one of the things that was really something that stopped me in my tracks was one day going to a spin class

at 8 o'clock in the morning and realizing I was kind of dizzy driving there and I got to a workout and realized that I could still smell booze on my breath from the night before. So if I had gotten pulled over, I probably would have blown over. I'm sure I was DUI that morning. And I guess I just never really thought about that before, because I did try to be pretty careful about not drinking and driving, but I mean, you know, careful. I'm not a big person, so two huge quars would definitely put me over the legal limit. But anyway, yeah, so in answer to your question, I think it's like really the grace of God. I don't know, but I will say finding community made it stick. That I can say with 100% certainty because I didn't know anybody here who didn't drink. So even my community is remote,

just knowing that you have those people in your court. I mean, now I do have some sober friends in person, which is amazing. I love that. So that makes everything so much more fun. Yeah. That's like the icing on the cake. And it's community too. We talk about it and we know, you know, I mean, hopefully know the importance. But getting started. with one. You know what was that process like for you? Okay, so you found this community. Now you're going to join in, right? They're doing virtual meetings. You love what's going on. But how do you put yourself out there to actually engage? Because a lot of people, they hang out in communities and just don't really do much, you know, which is cool, but it's kind of like you get what you give

type idea. So how were you able to get in there and maybe put all those other things you were struggling with that you're talking about over your life. Put that kind of aside and say, you know what, I'm going to really give this a shot here. I will tell you, that's such a good question. So by the time I was in your community, I had already been in a women's only community and I had joined a challenge. And that's what made it easier because initially I was doing the workbook activities. I was like, you know, making sure I read 10 pages of quitlit and I did my exercise every day and my journaling. And so there was actually activities. And so through doing that, I would go on the meetings and no, at first I would not talk.

I would just listen. But I just heard my story over and over again. And people were so nice and so kind and so supportive. And so eventually, you know, I introduced myself. And of course, everybody's so nice, just like they are in your community and so supportive. And I think it's just, honestly, it's easier than I knew it was going to be because people get you. I mean, you're not going to go to sober motivation and share in a meeting and people are going to be like, I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, everybody gets it to some extent, right? Maybe your story isn't exactly the same, but there are certainly aspects that are going to be the same. And so I think it was just that community was like a gateway. And then I ended up joining when it was sober buddy. I joined yours. And then I was in that for a while. And then I think what really helped me a lot. I know you're asking about like a initially, but what really freed up everything for me was on National Sober Day a year ago,

September, I had like maybe six or seven months sober. And on a whim, I just decided to like out my sobriety on social media on National Sober Day. And so I did a post with like pictures and talked about my story of why I got sober and how I was drinking and acknowledging it and referring to myself as a sober person made a lot of things easier for me. It made it easier. to say no in a social setting because I'm sober. And, you know, there was no more, oh, making, you know, oh, maybe I'll just have one or, oh, no, I don't, or making excuses or pretending I'm sick or on antibiotics or any of that shit. It just for me, I started to identify as a healthy, sober winner, not a person who was like the slave of alcohol and not made it easier to share on meetings,

encourage other people to join communities, try to help other people, and just sort of have the pride in sobriety rather than the shame, if that makes sense. Yeah, 100% it does. And I love that to put it out there for people. And it's kind of like closing that last window in a sense about, hey, this is where I'm at and being, but being proud of where we are and what we've accomplished and what we're working on and where we're headed, realizing how hard it is and that there's a lot of people who may never go down this road for whatever reasons.

and we have put in the hard work to get to where we are. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, it's not for everyone, and I know it's not for everyone when they're newly sober. I get that, but I think it's like once you can free up that mental space, I mean, just it makes everything so much easier. You just live your life as a sober person. It makes it a lot easier to resist temptation.

I'm not saying I'm not ever triggered by something. I still have trouble in restaurants because I used to love a martini or a glass someone in a restaurant. I still sometimes notice what people are drinking, but I'm a sober person, so it doesn't really matter what that person over there is drinking because I don't drink. And then also, too, if you tell your friends and family members, you're like, no, I'm sober, the more they hear it, I think theoretically, the more they hear it, the less they stop trying to push alcohol in you for some people. I don't know. Except. Yeah, for some people. You're lucky.

For some people, it might take longer for them to pick up on it. Yeah, and I think it offers another layer of accountability for us as well. You know, because a lot of the times you hear that story, right? I did it on my own, but I just couldn't get it. I wasn't ready for it. I think a big part of it is that we just try to do it on our own. So it was really easy for me to talk myself into the next one, right? Because I'll quit tomorrow.

Like I can have one. It's Sunday, football's on. I just have a few drinks and then I'll quit tomorrow, right? But then nobody knows. So nobody knows there's no accountability. It's just me. Yeah, it's just me against me. and I think when you do, you know, get honest.

And it's just being honest about it. And I think, too, like when I look back at my story, it was just so much lies and bullshit. And I was just tired of that. And, you know, there were people who accepted this was going to be my way of life. And there were other people who didn't, but it was time for me to move past that.

To be an everybody's friend and people pleasing and just not wanted to create, you know, any waves with anybody that crap had to stop because that behavior ended me up in this spot where I'm the, most miserable person in every room I go into. Yeah. You know?

Oh, true. Yeah. Trying to please everybody else. And that didn't even work. I mean, they still weren't even happy Lisa half the time, you know? But I still couldn't get it right. That makes me think of the flip side of that, though, is that one of the things that's nice about to me, though, is you do frequently have someone cheering you on and celebrating

your successes. So that's, like, really a good thing, too. Yeah. You have people who know how difficult it can be. And when you get a day or when you get two days or when you come back after you've had a drink and they're just like, keep it going. You know, majority of us have been there. And we know that the only way this doesn't work out is if you just quit trying to do it.

You know, so if things are not going according to the plan all the time, it doesn't mean you're not working. It doesn't mean you're not trying. It doesn't mean any of that stuff. It just means like what you mentioned earlier. That's a great way to put it. You got to add some tools to the bag, right? So you have to get creative and figure out, you know, what else do I need to add?

Community, is it literature? Is it gratitude journal? Is it therapy? Is it counseling? Is there some other type of intervention I can bring into my life? Some other layer of accountability maybe. I think we get so hard on ourselves, right? If we're not drinking and then we drink again, it's, oh, you know, there I failed again.

Look at me. It's never going to work. And it's, nah, I mean, that's. the journey that a lot of us take. And here we are. I took it over and over again for 10 years. I mean, yeah, I tried numerous times, but I'm just so grateful that I was able to get to this point. But I mean, you know, I did do the work, right? I mean, and then the other thing, too, is I was actually just sharing this with someone the other day. I was thinking about this, too, is one of the other thing that was really helpful for me was finally getting to the point. And probably

this was one of the advantages to going in and out was that finally I got it through my head that nothing good was going to come from drinking. Maybe I could drink one night and have two glass of wine and, you know, nothing happened sort of. But then is that true, though? Did I feel a little fuzzy the next day? Or did that open the gates for me to drink the next day? Or did I drink and say something stupid to my husband? Did I hurt someone's feelings? Is my blood pressure going back up again? because I have really good blood pressure. Now, it's like there's never a benefit to slipping. And that's one of the things I think once I finally got that through my head, I mean, that was really helpful too.

It's never going to work out for me personally to have a drink. I mean, yes, I could have one and probably there would not be any huge, you know, repercussion. But then would that, but maybe yes, maybe then the next day I would say, oh, it's okay to drink or, you know, I mean, I just, it's never going to work. That's all I can say. And once I got that through my head, that there's no good outcome from any drinking. That made it a lot easier to you. Yeah. And that's such a valid point, too, is getting to that spot.

You know, the tough part I think about getting to that spot is you got to have the evidence built up over time. And that part of the process really sucks, right? Going through moderating and trying to make it work, trying this strategy, that one. And then, like, we all, yeah, I mean, we often end up back at the same place. course, I had many times where I just had one or two drinks and whatever. Like, I was grumpy about it. I wasn't happy. That's not really what I was looking for. But I could definitely do it. It took everything I had to do it. But it was just miserable. It's what the, what am I doing? I don't do this in any other area of my life. Why am I doing it here? That's just it. If, you know, you go to an event where alcohol is

really not prevalent and then you could have your one or your two drinks. Okay. No problem. But then the rest of the time you're not even enjoying what you're doing. Say you're at a concert, because your whole focus is where's my next drink going to come from or you know, you're going to have to keep running to the bathroom or all those kind of things that we talk about sometimes on meetings, you know. But yeah, it's just having that for them to not even have to worry about it, to not have to not have to where it's going to come from, how much you can have. I mean, that's just huge. Yeah, just having the clear mind to actually be a human being and go to your event or be around your family, be around your kids.

I still remember the first day I didn't think about alcohol at all. And I teared up. I was like, wow, this hasn't happened in years. Maybe I wasn't drinking, but I was thinking about the fact that I wasn't drinking. Maybe I had 10 days where I hadn't drank, but you can bet every single one of those 10 days I was wishing I could drink. And this was like the true freedom of actually having like months and months of sobriety under my belt. And I just remember, wow, this is amazing.

It's like I'm living my life like a healthy, like a winner. I feel like a winner sober. I mean, really, I do. I feel like the kind of person wanted to be. You are a winner. You are a winner. Great job on everything and great job, you know, sharing about two, your experience and how it affected you. And I know there's going to be a lot of people that can relate to your story and, you know, how things went for you.

And then, too, in the end, I mean, calling it quits in, you know, making all these changes. and how much better your life has gotten since that decision is enormous. You went on too. I know Megan from Sobicistas had a retreat. I think you went on one of the retreats too. What was that like, too, going, you know, sober vacationing and all that type of stuff? It was amazing. It was so good because that was the first time probably since I was in, probably in junior high,

that I've gotten to spend time with a group of friends where no one was drinking. Because in the world we live in, that's highly unusual, unless you're in a, like, sober group. It was a bold move for me because I had never traveled outside of the United States without my husband. I have traditionally been a very nervous flyer. I mean, like, crying, prescribed out of an van, you know, had an atavian and willing when I flew because I just could take off and landing stills. But I'm working through it. So I not only traveled sober without any drugs or out the whole, not only that, but I would. was like changing planes and I don't even know where. And I'm flying into basically a third world

country, not knowing anyone. I made it. And it was wonderful. The ladies were wonderful. Just that if you, if one has the opportunity to travel with people who they've known from the sober communities or even AA or whatever your community is, and you all of a sudden you meet them and get to spend time with them, it's instantaneous. The friendship happens immediately. you all of a sudden just start talking like you've known each other forever. It was, because I've actually been on two now. And suppose just the best possible experience. It is so worth it.

And, you know, Megan gave us like really good exercises to do. And we had, you know, massages. And there are all this stuff that goes along with a fun vacation to. But also, you know, we did some work. I mean, on sobriety too. It was wonderful. I highly recommend. Yeah.

That's so cool. It sounds like with the money you save on the alcohol. Yeah. can do those other things, you know, that you enjoy. Thank you so much. Oh, sorry. I was just going to ever calculated out how much money you've saved over the years. See, I had kind of a two-fold or maybe a three-fold problem. I got in a lot of trouble. So lawyers and bail money and everything else, right, that I lost all on the way. Like, it's, but yeah, have you added up the numbers for how much money that you've saved? Not recently, but as of about a year, I had saved $8,000. That's how much I

alcohol in one year, just based on probably $15 a day. And then I added it a little extra for going out with my girlfriends and, you know, if you buy junk food after or whatever. But that was probably a low estimate, but $8,000. That's a lot of money. And then if, you know, if I had to throw in leave or anything like that. I mean, you know, tens of thousands. Yeah, it doubles real quick. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, there's just so many things. And like you touched on it throughout sharing, you know, what things are like now for you. There's just, the benefits are endless. You know, I think we, we learn new ones every day or every once in a while, new things about why we're deciding to live this life and stuff. And I mean, you hit on it earlier, I think, too. Just nothing good

comes from drinking for your life, for my life, for many other people's lives. And maybe there's some people out there who, it does, I don't know, maybe it does, but like people that like us in a sense, right? Nothing good comes from it. And as sooner we can get to that conclusion, the better off we're going to be able to turn things around for our lives. Looking at closing here,

if somebody's listened to the episode and they're struggling with getting started, staying on the journey, anything in between, what would you mention to them? Just what was told to me, it does get better. It will get easier. And yes, it's probably going to suck the first couple weeks, maybe even the couple months.

But start with a gratitude journal. You can be grateful for anything. You can be grateful for coffee. You can be grateful for clean water, clean air. But one thing that helped me was what I was grateful for about sobriety. So if the first day was that I woke up without a hangover, then that was great. If the second day was, I was more pleasant to be around. And so I kind of started doing that.

I mean, I think that was really helpful to just focus on what's working with your early sobriety, not what is it working, not that, you know, your friends are all out at the pub and you can't go. If you can, I know it's, you know, sometimes easier said than done. And then just the power of community just can't be overstated. And I'm a big fan of like good nutrition and daily exercise, even if it's just a 10-minute walk. I think it just resets your brain chemistry in such a positive way. And yeah, I think that's it. The podcast, keep reading.

reading the quitlet, listen to the podcast. It's almost like being hypnotized. If I get to listen to podcasts while I'm driving it every day, I'm having like a hypnosis session and all that good information is just going into my brain. Yeah, no, I love that. Yeah, you just keep listening. You just keep taking in. And that's why I always say for people, if you're not, you know, even there yet,

like just do this stuff and get yourself prepared to be quote unquote ready. You know, like just saying to ourselves, I'm not ready so I can't start. That's not true. You don't have to have all the answers. Just get started somewhere. I mean, listening to the shows, checking out the books, doing these other little things as well. All of these things that you mentioned there build momentum in our life, right? We're moving.

We're doing something because for so long, we just want to think our way out of this. I'll just think. If I just, you know, use my brain power. I'll just convince myself alcohol is no good and I'll just change my life. But you've got to get out there and do these other things that you're mentioning and you do so well. So thank you so much, Lisa, for jumping on here and sharing your story with us. Oh, thank you so much, Brad. It was really an honor.

Well, there it is, everyone. Another incredible episode here on the podcast. Thank you, Lisa, so much for joining and sharing your story. I'll jump Lisa's contact information down in the show notes below. And if you've yet to leave a review on Apple or Spotify, jump over there and do that. It'll only take you a couple seconds. And I'll see you on the next one.