Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Quitting Drinking After So Many Day Ones: Bri's Story

Episode Date: April 19, 2026

Bri is almost one year sober. For the year before that she tried to quit drinking over and over, racking up day ones nobody knew about. Two months sober, then a slip. Two months again, another slip. From the outside she was the picture perfect mom. Accountant, wife, two little boys, a pool in the backyard. Behind closed doors it was shots from the freezer on Christmas, weekend blackouts at her own pool parties, and crying in the shower when everyone went home. Then on Easter she pulled her one year old son aside and told him he'd never see her drunk or hungover again. She hasn't had a drink since.In this episode Bri shares what gray area drinking looks like for a working mom; why her two month sobriety cycles kept breaking; the blackouts she hid from everyone; her first sober tax season; and what one year sober actually feels like. If you keep restarting, this one is for you.Bri's Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@briinsobrietyBri on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brimarshallll/Sober Motivation Community: https://sobermotivation.mn.co/Sober Motivation Website: https://www.sobermotivation.comSupport the Podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/sobermotivationContact me anytime: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I took my youngest son, and he was only one at the time. He had no idea what I was talking about, what I was doing, what it meant. But I took him aside by myself, and I looked at him and I said, I'm never drinking again after today, and you will never see me drunk again or hungover again. I think just saying it out loud. Brie had more day ones than she could count, two months sober than back to drinking, starting over again and again quietly on her own. And the hardest part?

She was doing everything right on the outside, career, family, being a mom, while internally she knew something wasn't lining up. No one really ever saw it, but she felt it until one day she took a different approach. Be sure to subscribe to the channel for more incredible sobriety stories and head over to Sobermotivation.com for extra support. And this is Bree's story on the Sober Motivation podcast. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast today. We've got Bree with us.

Bree, how are you? I'm doing fantastic. Thank you for having me. Yeah, of course. Thanks for being willing to jump on the podcast here and share your story with all of us. Yes, and it's perfect timing with my one year coming up and I just got through another tax season. And this was my first one completely sober other than the one year that I was pregnant. Yeah, that's a huge bonus.

So what were things like for you growing up? Yeah. So growing up, my parents split when I was very young and I was with my mom all the way through eighth grade. and no alcohol in the home, no sign of it. If she ever had any, I don't know if it was out, but I just never around me, never really knew anything about it. So then going into high school, I moved in with my dad, and I still didn't really recognize it,

but he definitely always had some, and I never tried it or anything, but it was starting to come, like, aware to me in life. And I was so school and sports focused in high school, that I don't know that I was ever even invited to a party because my friends were also sports focused and no one drank and stuff. But even if I was, I had no interest in even giving that a try. I think I was very scared of being in trouble or losing my sports and everything because that meant so much to me. So never really cobbled in with it in high school. Went into college and

my mom kind of gave me the conversation of alcoholism runs. and your family, just be careful. And I, I, I've talked to her now at this point, and I say, I wish you would have went a little more depth into that conversation, because, yes, putting that in my mind, like, okay, you know, like, surely I'll know if there's an issue. So, went into college, I was on the cheer team, so once again, that freshman year, very focused on that, not risking any trouble. And then, did cheer for a couple years.

And then when that ended for me, I was like, what do I do with my, days after school, my weekends, I'm not having practice and cheering at games anymore, and I kind of felt like I lost what I always loved. And all I had left was just my classes. And I still didn't even really know what I wanted to do in my life for a career. So I just felt really lost and ended up kind of going out every weekend and kind of fell into that pattern. And I kept my grades up, so there was no red flags yet kind of happening for me. I had a job. I was paying my own rent, going to class.

grades great, everything that I thought was I supposed to be doing in college I was doing. So the going out and everything, I didn't know that it was kind of an issue because everyone, you know, was doing it too. And I just always wondered, why is everyone else okay the next day? Like, how are you guys not having these hangovers and how do you not have all these, this anxiety and regrets and things? And I had no idea I was rinking so much more than they were. And I kind of started feeling that, feeling that you get with the same thing. the first drink or two. I was just chasing that the whole night until I don't remember, or I'm walking home in the dark by myself in a college town, or I shouldn't be. And

didn't realize I was putting myself in those situations until I look back now. And so the red flags were there, but I didn't know what to look for. I didn't have anyone saying like, hey, you're taking this too far sometimes. Like, it just wasn't pointed out to me. Continued that all through college, um, then graduated my bachelor's, got. a career in the degree I graduated with in accounting, thought, okay, I'm still doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. And started that career. Everything was great.

Had my own place. And I was in a relationship at that point. And that whole group, him and all his friends, because I kind of lived in that town after college, everyone kind of worked through the week and just lived for the weekends. None of us had kids or anything. So it's like, if you can get through your job all week, we're out every first. Friday out every Saturday and everyone's fighting and then you just blame it on the drinking the next day and that just became routine and looking back I'm so sad. I'm like that was such a big part

of life and I was just fighting through the week just to get drunk on the weekends. I just didn't even realize it at the time and yeah, it's sad to look back on but a lot of us that were in that group are sober now and it's super exciting to know that and we've all kind of learned from it but yeah. So the red flag still really works. there until that relationship got kind of ugly. It was kind of a lot of blaming fights on the other, blaming this, instead of blaming the alcohol. It was definitely pulling us apart, taking it out on each other kind of thing. And that's when I did kind of have a friend say, like, you guys always do this when you're drinking. Maybe that's like a pinpoint of this. And still neither of us

were like, maybe we should stop drinking. It was just still your fault, your fault kind of thing. So when that ended, it was not pretty, but it did end. And I moved back to my hometown and connected with my now husband. And our relationship also kind of started with drinking and going out. And we lost a mutual friend and he was murdered, which is a whole other wild story. But we lost a mutual friend. So everyone was, you know, it's like you lose a friend and you all somehow end up at the bars after. Like, yeah.

So that's where we all kind of reconnected when we were all back in town. And I ended up staying here to live back where I grew up. And yeah, our relationship did kind of meet with drinking and going out, things like that. I got a new job here in this town. Again, both have good jobs. Both we have our own place kind of thing. But yeah, the drinking was still very heavy. Before we scoot so far down the line here,

I want to go back a little bit. So you'd mention your parents separated when you were young. Like how old was that? Do you know? Like kindergarten age-ish? Yeah. And do you remember a lot from sort of that, you know, time in your life or not much? I don't.

I really don't remember much until we moved an hour away with my mom. I think that's maybe when I as a young kid realized, like, this is separate now. Yeah. Do you have siblings? Yes, I have an older brother. He's four years older, so we were only in the same house for a few years, because by the time we moved, and then he graduated high school before I was in high school. So we're kind of close now. I don't talk a lot, but yeah, yeah, since the age difference, and we didn't live together a lot.

Yeah, so he stayed with your dad then, and you went to live with your mom? Well, we were both in the same house from third through eight. So like five years, but he was just in high school when I was middle school and just didn't really cross much. Yeah. So not too much to remember there. But it does come up a lot in the podcast actually. I mean, 70 episodes in, like, I mean, maybe 30%, 40%, maybe 50 share sort of a story where parents separated or the dynamics there were relatable, which is really interesting to me how that seems to play out so many times. and maybe those of us that struggle with alcohol later, you know, later in life too, right?

Because everything's kind of going okay for you for so long. What brought you had mentioned to you, went back to live with your dad too. What was sort of that change? Yeah. So my stepdad got a job in Boston. And I think when being 14, 15 years old, having my sports, having my friends, it scared me to go that far away when I had the option to stay with my dad. So I went there with her for a little bit.

The school was super tiny. It kind of freaked me out because I went to a huge high school here. And I decided to just stay with my dad during high school. That was pretty much the only reason why. Me and my mom have always been extremely close. We talk every single day still. They're actually moving back soon and I can't wait. So there was no issue with like parent relationship.

But I just decided for location. Yeah, good stuff. So you're not really seeing much alcohol around up. Maybe your dad drinking a little bit more, but it's not, you know, in everything too. It doesn't sound like it anyway. Yeah, it wasn't even in the house until I was in high school. And after I started drinking in college, like the summers we would be home, yeah, is we would, I would have the parties at my house. And I felt like that was the responsible thing to do because I didn't have to worry about going anywhere. I knew I was safe there. But it also

gave me my, well, my own permission to get so drunk because I'm at home. Why not? And, And yeah, so I would host the parties that in those summers and my dad always had the alcohol at the house. So it just, it just led me down drinking even more, really. Yeah, which I think is a pretty, I mean, that's a fairly common probably story, right? Yeah. To drink at home or even to some people share, parents would say, well, if you guys hang out here and drink here, whatever, it's all good. I mean, I think times are changing. I would guess, you know, moving forward with things, but I think, you know, 15, 20 years ago, like that was the thing.

What do you realize anything sort of going on with like internally in sort of this part of your life? I mean, doing the cheerleading, doing the sports, doing well in school, seem to be doing well in a lot of areas. But is there anything that you feel uncomfortable with or no? I think looking back, there were definitely things I should have internalized or realized, but I was just covering everything up and I was trying to be so perfect on the outside. and I don't, I've never really dug into this, but lately it's kind of been on my mind. My brother didn't do so great in college.

I felt like I had to do perfect. And then, like, I was put in sports when I was tiny, and that was always our family focused with sports, so I felt like I had to be great in that. And so when those all ended, it was, maybe I didn't know who I was if I wanted to be, and just kind of fell into, I'll do what I have to do through the week, and then I'm just, completely trying to escape reality on the weekends. And I think that's really what it was looking back. And I'm just like there's so much I could have been doing at that time when I didn't take the time to, like, figure out who I was. I was just trying to escape, I think. Yeah, which is so interesting you bring that up to because I hear this in so many stories.

The first part two with the parents separating in that dynamic is one. The second is this overachiever, this reaching for perfection, this getting validation externally maybe, maybe doing well in sports and hey, great job and doing well in school and feel. But I think all of that creates so much pressure. But it does also shape an identity too of being that person. So it kind of makes sense as you kind of go through it. You're plugged into cheerleading and you're doing all of this stuff. And then when that goes away, it's maybe, maybe here. I don't know exactly obviously. But maybe looking at like, who am I now? Like that was sort of. of what I was leaning on. That was my purpose. That was my validation. That was sort of everything

being plugged into this stuff. And then without it, it's kind of like, who am I now? Like, where do I go from here? Exactly. And I've looked into a lot of athlete's stories since I kind of felt that relation. And mine was only college. Like people that go into the pros, that is their career. That is their life. When that end, a lot of them have struggled with drinking and addiction problems and I've been like kind of researching that and looking into it because I'm like yeah I definitely get it and there's is even heavier than mine was so I can't imagine so it is big and I kind of hope people start talking about it more because like there's been a lot of mental health issues just in the NFL itself this past year of like when they retire or if they're injured and

we've lost people to suicide from it and I wish people had a way or resources to find themselves when sports are no longer their main purpose in life like there's more after that and I help people can find that. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think it's like I've never been in that position of, you know, being in the NFL and stuff. But I think being at the top and then not being there anymore. Yeah. It's probably more difficult than never being there at all. Like kind of yeah, yeah, you know, go to the height of height of things. And then now it's kind of like, okay, back to reality can be really difficult. So in college is when you really connect with drinking, going out, you know, normalized, right? We talk about a lot. Like the college years, it's, it's just

really normalized for underage drinking, for going out to bars. Everybody's kind of doing it. Everybody's looks, well, maybe not everybody, but a lot of people's looks quite messy. I always tended to hang out with people that looked quite messy like mine. I wasn't really interested in hanging out with people that were just drinking one beer or whatever that was. I didn't know what that was and then partying all of the time and just becomes sort of the thing to do, right?

The thing to let off some steam. And isn't overly necessarily problematic at the time. but there are, I remember many sort of one-off nights where it was like, wow, we took it a little bit too far. But people also like high-fived that. For me anyway, I would say, hey, great. I mean, great, you know, it was a little bit too much last night, Brad. But like, that's cool, man. Like, wow.

And for me, a guy who was so insecure, so looking to fit in, wanted to be accepted by others, this was a green light because I was just like, yeah, that's what they want. That's how they want me to show up. That's what they want to see. I'll do my best to deliver on that just so I could be a part of the group. Yeah, and at that age, you're already going through so much of like school and everything and trying to fit in that when you find that group, you're not like, actually, I should find a different one and start all over.

You kind of just, yeah, and then it just goes downhill from there. And yeah, like, I was just kind of thinking, yeah, I hung out with the people also that drank a ton. And when I would hang out with my roommate, she was one that could just have a few. And everyone kind of gave her a hard time. of like, oh, you're not going out with this, like, and stuff. And I'm just kind of like, I wish she would have been like, how about you stay in? Yeah.

But there wasn't anything sort of out of the ordinary maybe or there was, but nothing that was like a big, let me put the brakes on this whole drinking thing for you during the college years. I mean, I know a lot of people too talk about, you know, maybe blacking out or, you know, different things that when they look back, I mean, the hindsight's 2020. They say, oh, my gosh, things were not as normal. as maybe I thought they were. Yeah, and there was, during my college time, there was a couple girls that were taken, were murdered.

There's one that was never found still to this day, and here I was walking home from the bars at night by myself, thinking, oh, it's just a few blocks. I'm like, I cannot believe I put myself in that situation, but I just, in that mind space, I did, and I was extremely lucky that nothing ever happened or anything, but I thought it was safer than driving and putting other people in danger.

And I'm like, well, at least I'm, I was hopefully kind of considering the world around me, but I wasn't considering my own danger. So, yeah, things like that. And then I never, like, I guess for legal trouble, the one time I was around a situation that involved police, I wasn't drunk. I had a couple beers, so they let me go. So I never really had that, like, scare kind of situation. I do wish it would have scared me a little bit because I wasn't 21 yet. I was almost 21.

It was like the first time I had ever really tried beer. I wasn't at a party or anything. There was a weird situation. The police showed up to talk to someone else. They saw us drinking, talked to us. And I got a ticket because I was 20, but nothing kind of to scare me, no consequences. I paid the ticket, moved on with my life. So, yeah, it was not, like, I'm thankful it wasn't worse.

but at the same time, like, it didn't scare me enough because then that's kind of what it took off is right when I turned 21, just a month or so after that. So, yeah. Yeah, nothing happened that was like a huge moment that took over, at least at that age. It was later in life that things started showing, like, to me that I needed to take a look.

Yeah, yeah, and you shared to you, like, sort of the relationship. It sounded like anyway what I took away when there were problems, it was, you know, drinking and, you know, whatever conflict or however that plays out. So at 21, you kind of mentioned there, too, that things sort of ramp up or take off from there. What does that look like for you at that time? That was bars, bars, bars, like all the time out, through the end of college, into that relationship. And, yeah, like that relationship, we were during the week, absolutely great, like, ate super healthy. We're at the gym together all the time.

It was the weekends and it just all, like, ruin the whole week every time we reset. And I'm like, I cannot continue like this. But I never blamed the alcohol. I thought the relationship was the problem. And, you know, maybe we weren't supposed to be either way. But always blamed each other, never the drinking, even though it was always on the weekends that there was the problems. Yeah. Yeah.

With the drinking, yeah. So where do things go? You mentioned, too, you got into a career that you. you had went to school for accounting. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Is there a lot of drinking in accounting? You know, I kind of thought there would be, but the group that I'm with, no, we're a very

family, small, wonderful firm, amazing environment. We all get along so well. We actually went out to dinner last night for our post-taxies and dinner, and thankfully, no one else really does. I think there was a couple glasses of wine ordered out of like the 20 people, because we also had spouses go. And there's one pregnant co-worker and then another girl, a spouse of a coworker that doesn't drink either. So we were all ordering mocktails.

It was super fun. I was like, I don't feel pressured or anything. And last year during that, tax season dinner was one of the last times that I did drink. And I saw her order a mocktail and I thought, oh my gosh, why am I not sober yet? Like it was kind of seeing her do that and I had already been drinking during the day and I'm like, okay, why am I still doing this? but to kind of connect those two together, how I got here, when I moved back to town, met my husband, and we were out a lot. That continued until we got married and I got pregnant with our first kid. How old were you then?

I was 25. Okay. Yeah, so 25 and we had Thomas. He's six now. So that's obviously like what, 10 months, the pregnancy, no drinking. And some people I might count that. I don't count it for myself because I know I did it for him in my like a baby. I mean, I did not choose to be sober.

Like I wasn't like I didn't choose to stop drinking before the pregnancy. Like I only stopped because of that. So I don't give myself really the credit for that. Yeah. Was that easy though? Like at that time in your life, you weren't thinking about getting sober, were you? I was not. But as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I never even wanted a drink.

Yeah. Thankfully, I didn't have to fight through that mindset. Yeah, it was all focused on him at that point. There was not a chance I was risking that. So, I had him, and as soon as I got home, had a bottle of champagne, let's celebrate. So instead of realizing in that 10 months, oh, I feel good, it was kind of like, pregnancy wasn't super fun. Like, I didn't feel fantastic, so I didn't really take the time to think. Like, oh, I didn't have a hangover for 10 months.

I felt really good. I mean, I was a shame when we got home. Obviously, it was way less drinking because I was pumping and, like, feeding him and stuff. So I was paying attention to that. But there was still here and there. I would save enough that I could drink on the weekend. And then it was kind of making up for the last time at that point. Like, we'd have my dad or my mom or someone would watch him.

And we'd go right back out. And even though it was only one night, maybe a month, it was like all blackout, no stopping me when I did drink. Yeah. And this is at like 26, sort of 25, 26, yeah. Yeah. What's the thought process there to, you know, having your son and then when you get home, like have a drink as sort of reward or celebrate? It's kind of like. process. Yeah, it was kind of like I can again. It's only my body again. I don't know that there

even was a thought process. It was just back to normal. And yeah, looking back, I don't even know what I was thinking. And no one said anything. And I, so it didn't raise any red flags. Hey, like, that's maybe not straight back to it. But yeah, it definitely was. And then after that, My husband slowed down a lot, and I wish I would have kind of noticed that because during the weekday, it was nothing. I was very good about the weekdays. I was very, I'm focused on my work and my job and being a mom and everything in the evening needs to be taken care of. And then we kind of get into this next summer there, and that's when we have a pool. We have people over.

We've got all the stuff out back, and since we're home, I would always take it too far. and I think the back of my mind, I was like, he's not drunk or getting drunk, so it's not like both parents are not aware and able to, like, this just sounds so bad. And I feel like a terrible mom saying this. But like, I knew he was fine to take care of him and stuff. And I wouldn't even try or plan. I wouldn't say, I'm getting drunk today. But I just knew it would happen. And, yeah, I kind of took advantage that he didn't really drink that much or get drunk anymore.

and I was like, well, then I can. And I was always the one to kind of come in and grab everybody else another drink, and I would take a shot. And it's like I couldn't stop, or I felt like I would kind of, like, lose that initial feeling you get. And then I wouldn't eat either, because it's like when you're feeling, like, fun and running, like, loose,

you don't want to ruin it. And then it would just go until the point that I'm blacked out. everyone's leaving and saying bye and then it hits me that the night's over and now I feel like absolute garbage. I'm crying in the shower and that went on for a while and I never told anybody, never really dealt with it or anything. I would type notes to myself in my phone of like, why do you keep doing this? And we're a big sports family, so after the summer ends, we go into football season and then Sundays were kind of the drinking day and I'd feel awful on Mondays. And this cycle went on for three years until I got pregnant with our second son. Like, I mean, maybe not every single week or weekend, but a lot that I would just end up in tears in the shower, not telling anyone. Yeah.

What was stopping you from telling someone? I don't know. I think it was maybe the trying to be the outside picture perfect. Like, I'm trying to be this great mom. I'm trying to. I work a full-time. job. I'm trying to be a good wife. I'm trying to stay

connected with my friends. I'm just checking all these boxes off every single day. Then when we do have people over, I feel like I can just kind of let it go. Or on Sundays it's like just having sports on and doing whatever and just every day that I didn't have to do

something, it was kind of like I need to just step out of reality for a minute and just get drunk. And then when I had to be on, I was on during the weekdays. And And yeah, I think I was just trying to check every box in life that I was putting too much on myself. Yeah. And then I would try to cover it up to the point of blackout.

Yeah. It's almost like the pressure and everything builds so much of like you said, they're checking all the boxes, being the mom, the wife, doing, you know, the job, doing everything so well. I mean, this all kind of, for me anyway, in my mind, I'm tying this all back to your earlier years where whether it was said or whether it, was sort of implied or however you understood it, we want you to do well in sports and school. And maybe these are the, you know, what's expected or what you felt was expected. And then now it's later in life, it's all this stuff is piled on and trying to keep it all together. That's such a tough spot to be in. You know, this is where I see sort of the cracks in a lot of

people's drinking stories. It's not necessarily the cops. It's not necessarily, you know, these quote unquote rock bottoms that are subjective to everybody. This is where, where you start to see sort of the first place where you think start to expose themselves, right, of like, hey, I'm feeling whether it be shame or I'm embarrassed or why can't I just figure this out or I don't want anybody to know that, you know, things aren't as great as maybe they think, but then trying to keep it up on the outside of like how great things are when you're really falling apart on the inside is so relatable to me too. It's a very difficult spot to be. Yeah, yeah, definitely. And so, yeah, that continued and then got pregnant with our second.

He's two now and went through that pregnancy the same way as the last. Another, not a drop whole time, felt great. And didn't go right back to it after him. I was more kind of focused on feeding him and stuff after going through the first time and having some troubles with that. This time. This time. I was way more focused on it, and it would just be kind of a couple weeks. But once again, when I would have one, it was too many. It was still that same pattern. I was like, oh, I don't need it all the time, but when I do have one, it's 10, or it's however many, until someone stops me, or I have to go to bed or whatever.

And that's when it really started, I think, even more picking up maybe, I'm trying to, he was born in August of 23. So going into 2024, like when the weather started getting warmer, that's always a big trigger for me. Like going into summer being outside, all of that always kind of ramed it up for me. And so going into that summer into 24 is when I really started having way too much with both kids home. And it was Sundays again, seemed to be.

So July of 2024, I had not looked into sobriety, I had never looked up anything about sobriety, never talked to anyone about it. And Melissa, from New York, she made a post. I didn't even follow her. I don't know how the universe knew I needed this. It came on my page

and it said, the Fourth of July is coming up and guess what? You don't have to drink. And I'm just like, I'll forever be thankful for her to take two seconds to make that post because it completely changed my life. was like, oh wow, I don't have to drink. And then I thought, well, I'm not ready to tell everyone that I'm like, wanted to do that. So I was like, I'll be D-D for Fourth of July. Kind of took the volunteer for that and then no one can ask me why I'm not drinking. So I did that. And the next day,

I was like, wow, I'm not hung over after a holiday. This feels really good. So then the sobriety thought started turning in my head of like, I don't actually have to feel that way anymore. And I went a couple months felt fantastic was like starting to journal it like I feel this good

after this long it's my first time being sober for myself not for pregnancy I'm like doing all the days and everything and then we go on vacation

in August to the beach drank the whole week I was so mad at myself I was like I feel really good I felt fit I was like

we're going to the beach and we get to the beach there's a liquor store right next door I'm with my dad and my stepmom At the time they both drank, she's sober now too But they immediately walked in the liquor store

And I was like, let's go So we grabbed all the drinks Got set up in the condo During the day Just like seltzer here and there But like my brain was like more more more But I was just fighting it I'm on the beach with my family

I'm trying to enjoy it I'm playing with the kids And then one of the evenings came And my dad and son mom were like We're gonna take the boys out to dinner If you guys want to do something Well my mind was like Yes

like don't have the... Because, I mean, at the beach it'd be kind of dangerous. I was like, really, really focused. I'm not getting drunk. But then that kind of just like... gave me the free way to do that that night and got way too drunk and, of course, felt horrible the next morning.

I was so upset because I was like, I'm getting up to watch the sunrise and then I didn't. And I was just like, why did I do this to myself again? Kind of the whole week. It was a good trip and stuff, but I look back and really, like, you know, sad that I didn't enjoy it fully clearly, and we're going on a trip next month,

and I'm so excited to actually do that. So that was kind of a two-month break, July to August, and I kept doing the two months for a while. So got back from vacation, regretted it, ripped all my notes out that I was so proud of, all my days, threw them in the shredder, like, mad at myself. And I wish, I wish now I had all those notes, but I was so mad at myself at the time I threw them away.

We got to Halloween, drank again. another two-month gap. Once again, mad at myself the whole bit. Yeah. Um, get past that, get to Christmas. And Christmas Day, I, we had family here. Then we had family his, my husband's side. Then we had it at my dad's house. And Christmas is supposed to be like this fun, like family, happy holiday. And I was so stressed out by the time we got home and overwhelmed that I went straight to the freezer and took a shot. And as soon as it touched my mouth, I was just, beside myself, like, crying, I messaged Melissa, and I was like, I can't believe I just did that. Here I go again, two months.

And she was just the perfect person because it wasn't, she wasn't hard on me to the point of making me hate myself, but she also wasn't like it's okay. She's like, learn from how you just felt doing that. Take it with you forward kind of thing. And then I did learn from it, I thought, and then the two months again, February, we had a date night, we went down to Evansville, which is a couple hours away, had a hotel concert, and I still hadn't told my husband I wanted to be sober. He knew that I was only, I think he thought I was only choosing special occasions to drink because I would drink and then two months,

and then drink and then two months. So he definitely knew I was slowing down, and I think he was happy about it. But when I got there and I ordered a beer and stuff, he didn't know that I really wanted to be done. And I think if he knew, he would have been like, hey, maybe don't. like whatever. But I think he was like, cool, like we're on a date night, we have a hotel, we don't have to drive anywhere, like I'll have beer too. So we both drank. He, of course, only had a few beers and I was super drunk by the end of it.

And driving back the next day in a car when you don't feel good for two hours, you've definitely have time to really be mad at yourself again and feel like garbage. So that was February of 2025. And then focus on. on tax season, March, April. Then April comes around and we had our tax season dinner where I said I drank before, drank during, and was mad at myself. Then Easter came, which was on April 20th. And we went to church, which that's like the only day the whole year, we go to church with his mom. And we're just sitting there and I'm just in my own head about everything and questioning everything.

I don't know why at that point in that moment I was, but I was just thinking about everything. We come home from that day and it was super, super nice outside. We're riding the side-by-sides around. And I just, I don't know what it was. I just started drinking, taking shots, the whole deal that day. And I don't know what hit me in the afternoon that day. But I've shared this story on my show and I took my youngest son and he was only one of the the time. He had no idea what I was talking about, what I was doing, what it meant. But I took him aside

by myself with just him, and I looked at him and I said, I'm never drinking again after today, and you will never see me drunk again or hungover again. I think just saying it out loud, really I needed to, even though clearly he was like, no idea what I was saying. But I think it just took me saying that out loud to someone that I just love with everything in me. to commit to myself. Because there's other times we're just kind of in my own mind, like, I feel good I should do this.

And I started crying later that night, and I straight up told my husband, like, I cannot take another drink again. I have to not live like this anymore. And I haven't drank since that day, and I'm almost a year. Wow. I had a lot of day once.

Yeah. It finally clicked. And I could definitely tell the difference when it finally clicked. Yeah. Well, thanks for sharing that, too. What a moment there to share with, you know, your son. In a way, I mean, I would be like so curious. I mean, you might not have all the answers for it too.

But is your son there the first person that you told, like, sort of implying that, hey, this is a big problem in my life? It was the first out loud committing to never drinking again. I had texted a friend of mine, her name is Kayla, and she's very supportive, but she will also tell me what I needed to hear. And I had texted her on some of those Sunday nights that I was crying in the shower, like, I have to work tomorrow. I can't believe I let myself get this drunk again. I would text her and say, like, why do I do this to myself? But, and yes, she was kind of like, let me know what you need.

Like, do you need help? Do you, like, you got to think about this before you even start on Sundays. But it was just kind of like a vent to let it out. And then, but yeah, the first time I really committed I am done was to my one-year-old son. Yeah. What were your thoughts with those other couple months here and a couple months there and sort of going through this cycle, right, of getting some time away from drinking, then going back to drinking? What prevented you in those moments to say, okay, let people know, all right, I'm done drinking

or I'm going to stay sober for 60 days. that's sort of my goal. Was there a barrier there for you from sharing with others? I think I felt like I had to prove it to myself first because probably back to the picture perfect thing that I didn't ever realize I was doing until now I'm so overlooking back. I think maybe until I knew it was real, I couldn't say that it was real because then what if I messed up kind of thing? But at the same time, if I did tell someone, maybe I would have committed to it sooner because I would have had the support and the help and been able to speak about it more because once you admit it, you kind of have those people you can go to

and you can start, like, meeting people like you and I and Melissa and everything online and have that support and everything too. So, yeah, maybe the admitting it was the way I committed because, yeah, I think I was really just trying to prove it to myself because I had my journal, like, at work in my desk. No one would ever see it. I would write day one, how I felt, how mad at myself I'd be, and then when I'd mess up, I would just rip those out as if it never happened and start over. Yeah. And you felt like you were starting over every time, or were you able to sort of build on maybe other things that you picked up? Every time you were able to figure it out for a couple months, maybe there was a lesson or two learned in each one of those that...

Yeah, there was definitely some motivating things because I would feel more confident at work. I would feel healthier. I would start to notice my sleep getting better just in time to ruin it. I never... So yes, there were motivating things and definitely things I learned from it. But until I felt fully committed,

I didn't notice kind of my confidence gained back, the anxiety slow down, because I think I was so worried on making sure I didn't mess up that I wasn't really allowing myself to just relax in sobriety. I was too worried about like,

don't mess up today, don't mess up today, day by day. And then once I finally committed to forever, is when it really locked in. And I know some people do the day-by-day thing or have a 60-day goal, then another 60-day goal. But until I told myself it's forever, I don't think I could fully lock in and enjoy it.

Yeah, enjoy it too. I love that, plugging that in there. Because the other kind of way you had mentioned there, too, like that just becomes exhausting. A lot of people put it in sort of the bucket of moderation of trying to moderate or have this. I'm only guessing here, but you probably went into some of these day,

drinking events or these Sundays telling yourself, oh, of course, I'm just going to have two. And we believe it. It's like, oh, yeah. Like I would tell myself, oh, yeah, Brad. I mean, you're going to have like two, buddy. It's going to be great. You'll call it a day after that. And I could do that from time to time, but it was miserable.

It took all of this willpower to the point of exhaustion. And then I was just like, wow, I'm so pissed off. Everybody else gets to drink whatever they want. Forget about that. I'll implement this plan next week. or tomorrow, of course, I'll straighten it out then. It is another part, too, when you mention these two months at a time kind of thing, a lot of people share too that you start to feel better.

So what happens when you start to feel better? It's like, oh, yeah, like I'm in a better place or maybe I've moved or a job or I think a lot of people that have shared on the show say, you know, once I have kids, right? Of course, like this is going to, I'll be done with all of this. Like, I have kids now. I'm more responsibility and I'll be busy. A lot of people drink a lot more, though. when this stuff happens because I think anyway, a big part of it is the stress, the overwhelm.

And if we don't have anything in our life to sort of regulate our nervous system or outlets that are going to help us relieve everything, we kind of default automatically back to something that has worked. You know, that's kind of the wild thing. I mean, alcohol works so well to take the edge off until it doesn't and it creates more chaos and problems down the road. Yes, definitely. And like looking down the road, the playing the tape forward has always been huge for me because my hangovers were so bad and I would have so much anxiety for days. And yeah, I just, I had to know. I cannot just have a couple and I have to know that I will feel like absolute garbage tomorrow.

And I would go into some of those days. Like that friend Kayla I mentioned, we had people over that during one of those summers and I told her, I said, I'm just going to try to have a couple. And so I would only buy like what I wanted. And then I would somehow find something else just because, yeah, it's like there's still hours in the day. And your brain is like, we're not stopping now. Like you've already put this in. So yeah, it could definitely be the plan and it does not work.

Yeah. I mean, looking back now, I mean, you've started sharing your story. I mean, you shared on social media. You started a podcast sharing your story. How have you been able to shift from somebody who didn't, really share with many people throughout these things. It sounds like anyway, it was kind of you and your journal. You just write it down in your journal and you would kind of share your thoughts there. What's the shift and why do you think? Like how many people do you think are out there who just don't want to

share with anybody in the fear that it might not work out and then they look like a failure, right? I think that's a very real thing people go through. It's like, I don't want to share with anybody because what if it doesn't work out? What are people going to think of me? Yeah. And that's exactly why I wanted to start sharing, because not only did it make me commit even more to it by sharing, it also just opened up letting people know you don't have to get it right the first time. Like it took me two months for almost an entire year, and now here I am. Like, what if I would have gave up on that first one and never tried again? So I do try to share that just to let people know that maybe it hasn't clicked yet,

but there's going to be one of those times that it does, and you'll be so glad that you never went back. I have people that comment publicly, and then I have several that have reached out that specifically one comes to mind. I don't know where she's from. I don't know her real name. She's got a username on TikTok. And she told me that I am the only person she's ever told that there's a problem. And after a few months, she said, I finally went, like, a whole week without alcohol for the first time, like, since I started drinking when I was young. And then she told me she went to the doctor, told them everything.

And they got her on some medication and a plan. And I still, to this day, don't even know who it is. And I just, I'm like, I'm so proud of you, whoever you are. And so, yeah, some people don't want to be open and public about it. And she was scared to tell her spouse because that's just kind of something they shared and did. And she thought he wouldn't want this new lifestyle. And they'd lose the entire relationship. So, yeah.

Yeah, I do hope that people can hear all these stories and know and feel comfortable with someone. at least, even if it's one of us, like someone they can say it out loud to because I just feel like it changes so much when you finally say it out loud. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's just part of the acceptance and the honesty. Like I think the denial of like, I don't have a problem or I'm not an alcoholic or I'm not like what they show on TV or I don't check the boxes for, you know, having this sort of problem. But it really only comes down to something that we can figure out, which is how do we feel on the inside about things. I think there's a lot of people that are, you know, maybe waiting around for something external to happen.

And like literally that doesn't motivate anybody to change. I think people that maybe are more on the spectrum where where you're sharing, like I think this the saddest part of this is you can carry on for so, you could probably carry on for so long. But then it's the question of like, how, what percentage am I living my life? Is it 50? Is it 40?

is it 60, is it 20? Like where everybody is going to be different, I think, if we're honest with ourselves. And waiting around for something that's just going to be glaring is not going to change the thing anyway. And it's so interesting in your story there too. It wasn't necessarily this big planned moment that brought you up to where you are now. And that's what I hear in all the stories. Like, I mean, maybe there's a small percentage of people who planned out, you know, tomorrow I'm getting sober. And now they're on the winning streak they're on.

vast majority of people just, they never did, they never really planned it out. They just try it again. Like that's it. You just try again and you never know what's going to happen. And one thing I've learned big time is when I was first trying, I was told to really dig and find my why, find my reason to stay sober. And I've learned like, yes, absolutely have your reason why because you can always come back to that and remind yourself if you even consider drinking, remind yourself of your why to keep you committed. But I've learned that your why can expand. It doesn't have to change, but you can start with one,

and after a year of sobriety, have like 10 reasons why. And I'm like, if someone thinks, like, well, I've got everything I need, so why would I need to stop? I'm like, you'll find out why. Just start, because I never knew I would want to, like, speak about this. I never had a passion for anything in life until I started talking to other people. I've met people. I've now traveled and met with people.

other sober people and I just never knew I could have all these connections. And I still did it anyway for my other reasons why, but now I have so many more reasons why. So I'm like, even if you don't have what we said, where we were saying, a quote-unquote problem, you don't have to have a problem to stop, but you'll find so many good changes after. I've learned so much, because yeah, like you said, you don't think that you fall into the bucket or the, like term alcoholic because it's not what you have learned growing up what that means. And also I wasn't like day to day every single day drinking. So I was always kind of convincing myself I wasn't that.

And then when I told my family I stopped drinking, they were like, oh, you weren't an alcoholic, so why? So like I think people convinced me I wasn't. But now I'm like learning all these definitions and I'm like, I could not stop once I had one. Like there was absolutely an issue there. So yeah. So it's weird. You kind of learn more about.

like you and what your issues really were after the fact not during yeah and that's so interesting because i had uh dr donald crow on a few episodes or maybe the last episode and this is really what he what he hit on too is that um sort of that internal struggle and what he had learned in med school was to like being alcoholic meant you kept drinking despite consequences you know mostly viewed as external right drinking while driving getting arrested losing the house losing the job blah blah blah blah, blah, the list goes on and on. But that's not really, really what it is for his eyes, what he shared in that episode too. It's more of that internal. When did you notice that? Like, I'm so curious because none of the outside stuff, sort of those boxes seem to be checked

there. When did you notice the misalignment sort of internally with how you felt, maybe mental health, your confidence with yourself? Like, is there a point in time where there was like a shift of, wow, this is really not in line with who I want to be, my values, how I want to show up or anything. Yeah, definitely after my second son that year until I saw Melissa's post, which was basically a year after almost. And I think I just, I was still pretty young when I had my first and we were still kind of going out and stuff. And I think I, between my first son and my second son is when I got the job I have now and I've been there for six years. so I was fully committed to my career, like, so in love with being a mom, especially with my, like, after having two, I had a baby that needed me again,

and a toddler that needs me, and you kind of have to lock in way more, and it's like there's two of them now, and two of us, it's not like there was just one for one of us to take care of, and I think I just really committed all my responsibilities more, so then when I was having a hangover and it was pulling me back from what I needed to do, I was losing that confidence meeting with clients. I was losing that confidence with what I thought I knew in my work. I was feeling like not a great mom. And like on a Sunday, if I was drinking and I didn't get something done that needed to be done for Monday or didn't have dinner ready, just any little thing, I would give myself a hard time. And I thought, I just, I can't keep living like this. And I think that's when I really started noticing. I really cannot stop once I start. because even with those responsibilities weighing on me, I still couldn't just have a couple. And that's when I was like, it's all or nothing,

and I've got to make it nothing. Yeah. And it's so much easier, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's wild. Yeah, I mean, I find anyway, I mean, you're agreeing to it.

What I'm taking here is that it is so much easier because all of that other stuff, you don't have to worry about anymore. Like, of course, early on, in the process, there might be cravings or there might be triggers or you might want to drink or we see alcohol everywhere. It's embedded in culture, society, really no matter where you live. I mean, all of the Western world is, you know, from the UK to Australia, New Zealand, U.S., Canada. It's everywhere. So you can't avoid that. So that stuff might come up.

But it doesn't last forever. Like it's not like an entire day, even early on for me where I was like, oh my gosh, I need a drink. It was really those times like after work, you know, watching maybe a game or on the weekend, stuff like that. And it's so much easier just to not have any. Yes. And like I mentioned, we're big sports family where you go to NASPA races, we go to NFL games, everything. And obviously, those were places for drinking.

And NASPA races, you can take your own cooler with as many beers as you want. So that was, and now I've done, I've done two NASPA races, sober, to go brewing in a with me. I was way more into it. I wasn't running to get like to go to the bathroom all the time. I wasn't missing things. Enjoy the entire race, the entire game also went to a cold scam, sober. And I'm like, this is so much better. For one, I'm spending way less money. I don't feel like crap on the way home wondering why I did that because now it's four in the afternoon. What am I supposed to do? And it just, everything is so much better than the next day. You still feel good. Even after you're going to a sporting event, I'm just like so much more into it now.

And it's not just another place to drink. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that is a huge thing too. You don't have to, you know, spend the money, worry about it. Plus, you go to these events and I do anyway. I see people and I'm like, man, I was just like that. And that is brutal.

Yes. Yes. That is so brutal. I mean, not judging other people, like teach their own. They can do whatever they want. But I was like, that was me. And that is super annoying. And I can't believe that that.

I thought that was okay because, I mean, when you drink, I mean, it shuts down your, you know, rational thinking brain. It's like, okay, let's put that on pause. Let's be impulsive. Let's not think about future consequences. Let's just act like this. So it all kind of makes sense in the moment. But yeah, I see that. And I'm just like, no, no, I'm glad I'm not living like that anymore personally.

Yes. Yeah. I've witnessed the same at those things and the yelling and all that. And I wasn't screaming what I was drinking, but just being sober and witnessing it, I'm like, oh, boy, you're not going to feel very good later. Yeah. Yeah. You're coming up on one year, which is incredible, which is really, really, really cool. Really great job with that.

What are some of your biggest takeaways when you kind of look back over this year and maybe over your life and kind of what you learned? I mean, I think alcohol in a way is kind of sold as this ultimate connector, right? you, it'll help you socialize and get together with people. I see it as the ultimate disconnector because maybe for the first drink it does. But after that, personally, for me, I would just be worried about getting more drinks. I just preferred to drink alone at the end because I didn't want to wait for other people. Like, no, let's go. Hurry up.

I don't want to wait around for regular people drinking. That's way too slow. But when you look back in the rearview mirror of things, what do you really take away from it? Yeah, and like you said, I was always the one to come in and offer to get the next round so I could have two and no one else would know that I'm doubling up while they're having the one. And I have taken away that people around you learn from you and follow. When you start to be better and make a change that's better, other people notice that and sometimes start to reflect on themselves. And since I have stopped drinking, I have several people around me that have stopped drinking as well. and maybe I was just the fire on the gas that started these parties and was feeding people too much drinks.

But now we all way more connected. We have way more in-depth conversations, like more serious adult conversations and not just all about drinking and partying and stuff. And my husband, I don't know the last time he had a drink. And I saw him with one of my go brewing beers the other day. And I was like, aw! So it's just all these people around me, I feel like we've all grown. There's several sober people around me. I have people reach out to me that I never even knew had a problem,

just like they probably didn't know I had a problem. Yeah. And just the connections and the community and support. I've learned so much about them and I've learned so much about me. And like I said, I would have never figured out why I did some of the things I did until now looking back and kind of learning more about my inner self. Yeah.

Looking back too through that, I mean, why were you drinking? Right, yeah. Trying to be the picture perfect. And when I had the moment to slip away, I would slip away not only from other people, but from myself. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, yeah, and you're right. I mean, probably people around you had no sort of idea. And I think this is a great story to share with others that you don't have to fit into a box to decide to step out of it. Yeah, and kind of know the red flags. I really hope that younger people can, start seeing this stuff more on social media now that way more people are talking about sobriety. I hope them going into college can be like, oh, so if I start noticing that I'm doing this, this, this, and this, maybe I have an issue. Because I went into college knowing there's alcoholism in my family, but yet still didn't know what to look for. So I hope people can not find out

too late. And like, I had a girl on the podcast this week that she's only 24 and is sober, and she's like, I wish I would have known sooner. I'm like, you are so young. Like, I'm so proud of you for being so self-aware. Like, I wish I knew it 24. Yeah. Well, yeah, isn't that the truth? I can't say I didn't know. I knew at 17. I went to rehab for the first time. I knew, but I always told myself, well, things will change. I'll figure it out. I'll be able to control it. Like, you know, there'll be a season of my life and this will all make sense and it'll be less stressful. And so I made a lot of excuses over the years for my life or why I wasn't like them or John down the street was a lot worse or he was the real alcoholic that was you know everybody else had all the problems and i believe

that was in this short little phase of life that i'll obviously i'll shake this one but no it only got worse with time yeah yeah and at 17 you can kind of look like well that adult is still doing it so why like why do i have to change right now i'm still in school yeah i can definitely see that mindset at that age yeah yeah but i think people are waking up i mean the younger generations well brey thank you so much for sharing your story on the podcast. Any other thoughts that we miss that you want to throw out there before we sign off? I don't think so, but I really appreciate everyone checking out my podcast as well. I just got started, but I just love having that same platform to just let everyone share so that someone finds something they can relate to because your podcast that I dove into and tried to

grasp something from each one when I was starting off to. Yeah. Well, that's great. I mean, Huge congrats to start a show. It's not the hardest thing in the world today to do. They've made it a lot simpler, which is great for, you know, for me anyway, I'm not this big tech savvy guy. I think there's something really special about stories. I don't think we're in a time and place where there's a lack of knowledge. I think with AI especially, you can find out if you type into chat GPT, hey, I want to get sober, give me a 20 point plan. It'll actually give you something that's pretty, pretty doggone good.

So I don't think it's a lack of knowledge. I love the stories in a sense because if we can relate to you. to the journey somebody else went on for whatever reason it just feels like hey maybe i could do that too you know yeah way more personable and you find the community the community is huge because like i said before i told anyone i just kept going back and forth and then you finally start talking about it and it just helps you commit yeah it makes it real you know it just makes it real like i don't know the stats behind it but i think if you tell other people your dreams there's a big percentage in your favor that they come true i mean this isn't maybe falling into

that, but it's saying it out loud to somebody else can increase the likelihood of all this working out. Thank you so much. I'll drop the info too for your podcast. What's the name of it? It's unclouded. Unclouded, okay. Yes. Cool. We'll drop that down in the show notes too for everybody to check out. Thank you again, Bree. All right. Thank you so much. Well, there it is another incredible episode here on the podcast. Thank you for hanging on and listening all the way to the end. Huge shout out to Bree coming up on one year of sobriety. Turning things around. It's incredible.

If you enjoyed the episode, you can connect with her story in any way. I'll drop her Instagram down in the show notes below. Be sure to send her note. And thank her for joining us and sharing her story. Let me know also in the comments here too on YouTube or Spotify what your thoughts are of this episode. Can you relate it all? And I'll see you on the next one.