Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Robyn Ottolini on Sobriety, Creativity & Finding Her Spark Again

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

Country artist Robyn Ottolini didn’t lose everything because of alcohol. She had a career she loved, close friends, a supportive family, and plenty to be grateful for. But behind the scenes, drinking was contributing to anxiety, sadness, shame, and a growing feeling that something needed to change.In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, Robyn opens up about her decision to stop drinking, why the first few months surprised her, and the fear that sobriety might take away her creativity, personality, or “spark.”Instead, nearly one year later, she says she feels clearer, more creative, more present, and more herself.Robyn also talks about navigating the music industry sober, learning to actually feel her emotions, working through shame, dating without alcohol, and why she refuses to put the pressure of “forever” on her sobriety.Her story is a reminder that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to decide something is costing you too much.Connect with Robyn: https://www.instagram.com/robynottolini/Sober Motivation Mobile App: https://apps.apple.com/app/sober-motivation-app/id6759266291Sober Motivation Website: https://www.sobermotivation.comSupport the Podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/sobermotivationContact me anytime: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I could not work through my shame with drinking. It was never going to happen. I was always going to be in that darkness if I didn't stop. Does sobriety require a rock bottom? Maybe, maybe not. Robin Adelini had a successful career, great friends, a supportive family, and a life she was grateful for. But behind the scenes, alcohol was feeling anxiety, sadness, and shame.

She even wondered whether her story was bad enough to have a place in the sobriety conversation. Now one year sober, she's realizing you don't have to lose everything to decide alcohol is costing you too much. And this is Robin's story on the Super Motivation podcast. If you're new here, don't forget to subscribe to the channel. Drop a comment below. Now let's get to Robin's story. Welcome back to another episode of the Super Motivation podcast. Today we've got Robin with us.

Robin, how are you? I'm doing great. How are you? I'm good. Thank you for, I've been willing to connect with me here on the show and share your story. Thanks for having me. I guess before we started recording, I was like, take a deep breath, a little nervous. So I'm excited to see what comes out.

100%. So what was it like for you growing up? I had a great childhood. I grew up on a dead end road in the country in Uxbridge, Ontario, surrounded by the woods, playing manhunt, lots of bonfires, lots of the Sims three, and just, yeah, a joyous little childhood. Yeah, awesome. That sounds good.

Dead end road, not a whole lot going on. Not a whole lot going on. Yeah. So what kind of brings us here? I mean, obviously the Subur Motivation podcast. One of the things I talk with guests about, too, is like, did they see a lot of drinking going on? What was that like? I mean, I hear so many different stories people have in, you know, great childhoods and then maybe struggling later down the road.

Like, what was that like for you? Yeah. I grew up in, like, a drinking family where it's just like you have a couple beers every day, sit out by the pool. Yeah. And I know alcohol affects everybody differently. And I feel like my parents don't get the crippling anxiety that I do when I drink. But yeah, it was pretty normalized growing up and to each their own. It was great.

My parents are dope. And yeah, who doesn't want to have a bevy on the patio with your mom and dad, you know? Yeah. Was it early that you started drinking? I mean, kind of early in air quotes here because that's subjective to everybody. But what about you? Yeah. No, it actually wasn't that early.

for me at least, I grew up very straight-edged myself. My parents are very chill people. So they're like, do you want to have a sip of this beer? If you ever go to a party, let us know. We'd rather, you know, be the ones who give you the alcohol than sourcing it from a random guy at a gas station. But I was always like, I would never drink. And I don't drink.

And all through high school. And I didn't start drinking until like the last year of high school, the summer before the last year of high school. So, yeah. And that was the, I started drinking. and then I got type one diabetes the last year of high school too. So it all started together, the adventure. Yeah.

How did it, how did it impact you? Like first, I know some people come on the show and they share of like, oh, you know, I mean, it helped me out in so many ways and they were really interested other people or take it or leave it weekends. Like it wasn't a big deal. Yeah. I was definitely, take it or leave it. I remember my first hangover.

It didn't feel great. But no, it was just like the odd party every weekend. I wasn't in the party crowd in high school. So it was very much like maybe once a weekend, but not really. And it didn't seem that bad, to be honest, when I was younger. I think like everybody, when you grow up in a small town in Canada, you just, you drink on the weekends. And I remember not even drinking that badly when I was young. I think like I started to be like

maybe I drink too much probably more my mid-20s yeah when did you start music I started writing when I was 13 love writing music as I said earlier I'm pretty bad at talking about my feelings but so I loved writing about them though and for a long time I didn't know that artists

didn't write their songs I thought if you are singing the song you wrote the song so I would always just write music and say what I thought and be like, I haven't found a song that says this. So I'm going to say this. So yeah, I've always done it. And I started taking it more seriously when I was 20. Yeah. What was your original sort of plan after high school? Was it music or to pursue that? I wanted to be a marine biologist. I was pretty set on it. I love the ocean. I loved fish. So that was my dream, but then I got type 1 diabetes at the, in middle of grade 12 during exam season. And my grades went down. And obviously, it's a pretty big life change for anyone

who doesn't know what diabetes is. Type 1, it's an autoimmune disease. So basically, your body attacks your pancreas. You stop creating insulin. Your blood sugars need insulin. And it's just a huge upheaval and a lot of monitoring. So that kind of tanked my grades, kind of tanked the marine biology dream because the doctors were like, you're never going to be able to scuba dive with type 1 diabetes. Jokes on them. I got my paddy lights since you can't, you can't keep a fish down. Am I allowed to swear on here?

Yeah, you can't. Can't keep a bitch down. But no, by then I had like, I went to New Zealand and I was an opair and I would party on the weekends there because I don't know if you've ever looked after three kids at the age of 19 all week. It's a little rough, okay? You want to let out some steam on the weekends. But yeah, probably drank a little too much there.

And then I came back and my parents really wanted me to pursue music. I forgot about that, but my aunt recently reminded me. My parents aren't musical at all. They have no idea about the music industry, but they loved my voice and they loved my songwriting. And they were like, you should just give it a shot. So that's how the music thing came to be. And five years later, after taking it seriously, I got my first record deal. Wow. You make it sound so easy. Like I just got to take it serious and do it. But I can imagine that there's a lot of challenges that, you know, probably were in those five years.

A lot of growth. I like to go where it feels easy. I'm definitely like if this is working, let's continue this path. And if it feels rough, I am like water. And I'm not going to try to burst through a rock. I will just flow around it. Um, so yeah, it was, I think I was really lucky in my career. And like, I had very supportive parents and like, they let me live at home while I waitress to like pay for, you know, my music. So I'm very grateful for them. Yeah. That's awesome. That that's incredible. What do you feel like what role alcohol played, you know, in your life too? You mentioned looking after three kids and needed to like let some steam out or whatever, right? And drinking. But like, you're not noticing. You're not saying like, hey, I'm drinking too much. It looks pretty normal at this point. It, I think to me, I thought it was normal when I was doing it. Like, everyone, you know, drinks a bottle of wine and maybe

throws it up later. And like, oh, it's okay, Rob's. Like, it happens to all of us. We all do it sometimes. Um, and then I think like when my career was changing and I was on radio tour or like, I was really stressed, I'd be like, I need a drink. And, and, And I didn't realize that that was a, maybe not, like usually you're not supposed to do that, I guess. I just always assumed when you're stressed, you can just have a drink. And that's what everyone does. And it's not. A lot of people stop drinking when things are stressful and hard.

But I remember just being like, oh, if I just have a drink, then my personality will come out and I can do this one more interview. But it doesn't work like that. Yeah, it just takes from the tank. Yeah. I was really curious, too, like connecting with you. I mean, obviously you had the song F-150 that just blew up. And I was wondering if there was any correlation there with drinking more with how everything went with the song. Yeah.

I mean, there was a lot to celebrate, but it was during COVID. So during COVID, I also started drinking more because what else are you going to do during COVID. You're bored. It's long days. I was at my parents' house. They have a beautiful backyard, a pool. So when all that happened, I was like still home, still doing my thing, drinking and making TikToks because what else are you going to do? And so I think it was like I would drink just for fun. But then maybe when I was like 27 and things started to get a little harder and a little stressful in the music industry and like people on my team's ideas were clashing

and I felt like my voice wasn't heard. I definitely drank more because of the stress and would wake up with like quite a bit of anxiety and a little bit of sadness. Yeah. Like then the next day, you ever tell yourself like I'm not drinking? I'm done drinking or I'm taking a week off and then, yeah.

Every time I drank. Every time. I was like, I am never drinking again. somebody would be like patio and I'd be like I'm there um 100% if somebody was like do you want to go and drink and like I would go a couple days and then have one um for sure and especially I just noticed with drinking I would talk more and I'd lose my voice quite easily and obviously I'm a singer I don't want to lose my voice I went to an E&T they said you know you got like a callus on your vocal cord and if you don't take care of this

you'll have to eventually, you'll develop a node and eventually have to get surgery. And I was like, I don't love that idea. So that was like the first like, uh-oh, maybe you can't be drinking and partying every weekend, even though you're in the music industry and it's kind of what everyone does. And the more sober I get, the more I'm like, oh, it isn't what everyone does. It was just what I thought everyone was doing, which is wild. But yeah, so then I was like, lose my voice. voice and talk too loud in a bar and then I'd have to go do something. And I was just really

nervous. So I started being like, I don't want alcohol to affect my career because I loved drinking. Don't get me wrong. I freaking loved it. But I love music way more and I like my fans way more. So I noticed I started changing my relationship with alcohol when it came to touring. I was like, if I'm going on tour, it was the first time I went sober before tour was Shania Twain. I was opening for her on the Queen of Me tour in Canada. And I said, there is absolutely no way in hell. I will let alcohol wreck this for me. So I went sober a month before the tour, and then I stayed sober on the tour. And I felt great. I would pop a weed gummy after the show to come down, but, and we're in Canada, it's legal there. And that was great. But then I realized after the tour, I just went right back

to it. But every tour since that Shania Twain tour, I have been sober for because, I don't want to lose my voice. I want to bring my best game to my fans. But then, yeah, once that like almost reason was gone, I would just fall right back into it. And I'd be like, wow, I actually like feel kind of good after two months and not drinking. Maybe I'll stick with it. And then it's holiday season. And somebody waves a little espresso martini. And I go, ah, I love espresso. So, yeah, I went, this was my fourth time quitting alcohol, which is funny, because I feel like I quit before every tour. So this last tour, last November, was my fourth time stopping drinking before a tour. And before it in the summer, I had just been spiraling a bit, really bad anxiety, really unhappy.

And every time I got drunk, I would cry. and eventually my friends were just like, hey, why don't you go three months? And I'd be like, well, tour starts. So I'm obviously going to get sober then. And they're like, okay, but like after tour, why don't you just try? Like what's, because I'd be like, I've tried everything. Nothing's making me happy. I'm so sad.

And they're like, well, have you tried not drinking? And I'm like, don't take that, you know? Yeah. So then after that tour, I stayed in Canada. I stayed at my parents' house and I said, I really want to be sober after this. I want to get through the holidays because I know if I go back to Nashville and I go to Christmas and there's Christmas events and Christmas parties and open bars and all that jazz after like being sober for two months, I'll break.

I'm not going to, I'm not going to make it. I know me. I've tried it. I've done it. I didn't make it. So I stayed home. My dad bought me like non-alcoholic beer because he loves beer. I like drinking a beer with my dad.

So he'd buy me non-alcoholic beers and we'd drink our beer. And I got through the holiday season in Canada with no alcohol. And I was like, heck, yes. But then I found months three and four was when all like the suppressed emotions came out for me. Not fun. Hated that. Because you'll go like a month or two and you're like, this is so great. I should do this.

Blah, blah, blah. But then, yeah, month three and four were really hard for me when. A, I didn't have a reason to be sober, which obviously my life and my happiness is a reason to be sober, but you know what I mean. Sometimes you need like a hard reason. And just like all this shame started coming out of me. And I realized like, oh, like alcohol was in fact really, really affecting me. And I think like the farther I get away from drinking, the more I'm like, holy crap, I'm so grateful I don't drink anymore. And I like to, like, give that girl Grace who I was.

I'm like, she wasn't that bad. Like, she would get drunk and she would cry and she would throw up every once in a while and maybe say something awkward to someone in a bar every once in a while. But she was doing, she wasn't a bad person. So I try to, like, look back on her like that. But without alcohol, oh, my gosh. Life has just been roses and butterflies for the most part. I mean, I still get sad.

I told my therapist that. Sorry, I can just keep talking. That's my bad. But I told my therapist, it was like month six or seventh. And I'm like, well, I'm just sad. And I don't understand because I quit alcohol. So why am I sad still? And she's like, well, that's a basic human emotion that you're supposed to naturally feel whether you're sober or not.

And I was like, gosh, darn it. But I do realize I'm a lot better at moving through the sadness than I used to be. I used to get really stuck in the darkness. Yeah. Yeah. My anxiety has gone down a lot. I work out a lot. I eat three meals a day.

I recorded a whole album and released it and rolled it out and shot five music videos in half a year. Drinking me could never, ever have done that. And it's crazy to think where I'd be if I didn't stop. Yeah. Wow. That's an incredible list of things that you're working on. I mean, I think when a lot of us gets when we start drinking, right, like the high school days, whatever, just around a bomb fire. my buddies and I, we always used to go into the woods.

I don't know why, but nobody, parents weren't there. I don't think that we realize how it's going to impact this with anxiety, mental health, sort of the other hangovers. Some people say anxiety, like the next day, crippling anxiety. Cripling. That comes into it, you know? Yeah. No, I think it's just like you think when you're young, you drink.

And for some people, that is just what it is. It is just drinking. It's just for me, it wasn't. And yeah. And I noticed like I would cry a lot when I would drink, but like so would my friends, you know? And one of my friends got sober quite young because she would, she would get pretty bad depression. And so I think she's been sober for probably like five, eight years. I don't even know.

And she'd always be like, guys, life's so much better without alcohol. Like, I'm telling you. It's great. And I'm like, I'm fine, though. Like, I don't, I'm fine. And she's like, yeah, yeah, no, for sure. But always in my ear, just like, but it's so nice to that it. Like, oh, you're sad.

You wouldn't be sad if you didn't drink. So, yeah, it was like, for me, I was like, well, we're in college. We're supposed to drink. We're supposed to go to parties. We're supposed to make bad decisions. But it gets less interesting and cute when you're in your late 20s, early 30s. And still, you know, making some bad decisions sometimes, at least for me, the anxiety I'd have from bad decisions

was not fun. Yeah, 100%. I mean, especially when you share too about, you know, in high school, college, you're supposed to do all this. And I'm thinking all the country music I listen to. I mean, if you're a country artist, like, you're supposed to be your beer, beer, beer. Yeah. Well, it's so interesting to me getting into this podcast and having and connecting with so many artists that how many don't drink but still like if you didn't know that side of them listening to their music you'd say oh my goodness like he's drinking all day but they don't actually drink but they still do music a lot of music about drinking it was interesting to me to discover that yeah yeah i mean even writing this album i was like i don't drink and smoke so i don't want to say about it

but then like life's a bitch and then you die has you know get high you know you crack a Miller light. And it's like, well, that's for the people that do like that, can do it. It doesn't affect their life. And a lot of people like to can just crack a Miller light, have one and then move on with their lives. I'm just not one of those people. And that's okay.

Yeah. When, yeah, it's very relatable to so many other people. Like I think that is important too. It's like there are people out there. Not everybody is impacted in the same way from alcohol. Like some people just carry on. There's somebody really close to me. I'm not going to call them out.

but they'll have half a drink and they're sleeping on the couch. I feel like for me, I got energy from it. Like when I would drink, I hear some people say too, like, I'll clean the house and stuff. And I see like kind of normies, they get tired. So I was like, yeah. That might be, I don't know if you have ADHD, but that might be an ADHD link.

But if I wanted to clean my room or clean the house, I'd have to have a drink or two to like get that going. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, if you want to clean your room, you get a little treat, you know? I did start ADHD meds, which definitely helped with need and motivation. But yeah, no, I would have it just to like, oh, I'm going to film a piece of content. Well, let me have a drink to really get my energy and like, woo going, you know?

Yeah. What's beneath that? Like, it sounds like you've done some work too on, you know, this side of things and who you are and who you want to be. I mean, this whole album is a big part of it. My takeaway is anyway is like this and coming home to yourself and being authentic. What are your thoughts there of like the drinking? A lot of people talk to drinking is like rounding out the edges a little bit, right? Maybe we're a little uncomfortable or there's insecurities or part of our life.

I mean, for me there definitely was and probably still is. I'm not perfect. But drinking helped quiet all of that noise down. Oh, yeah. I'm a big feeler. I mean, I'm a songwriter and an artist. So I feel everything very deeply. I think that was, you know, I liked to numb that so I didn't feel everything as much.

And I think that was part of what made three, month three and four so hard was like all the feelings, everything. I couldn't, I would cry every day. Like I was like, I feel everything. This is awful. But I think in sobriety and writing this album, I felt everything. And I think in trying to dim the darkness, I was dimming the joy, too. And so now it's like, I'm not numb of any emotion. And I've never been happier.

Like, I feel happiness so much more. And I feel gratitude so much more. And more like self resilience. And like I trust myself more, which is beautiful. And a safe place to land is basically about becoming a safe place. And I feel like my friends were a safe place for me for a long time. My family, like always a safe place to land I had. I was always taken care of someone somewhere loved me.

I'm very lucky that way. But I was like, okay, but now it's their turn to have a safe place to land in me. And so I really wanted to change who I was. And I'm funnier, I'm prettier, I'm sassier, I'm more creative. I was scared of losing my creativity because I'd love to have a couple of vodka sodas when I drank. And I was like, am I going to be able to write without alcohol? And it turns out I'm just as good, if not better at writing. So, yeah, this album was kind of like formed in, in like this mature, safe, like, sure of myself space.

And I've never, like, felt so at ease with a body of music before. I'm like, whatever happens with this album, I don't care because I feel so good about it, making the music, I didn't have anxiety. Like, everything just felt happy when I was making it. And I know, like, when you listen to a song, whatever emotion you're feeling, when you hear that song, you kind of associate with the song. And so a lot of my music that I was making when I was drinking, more like when I was 26 or 27, after signing a record date, like, I was quite stressed. So a lot of that music, bang are songs. People love the songs, but I'm like, I associate that music with stress.

where this album, I associate it with, like, such peace and, like, joy and happiness. And so that's what I really love about sobriety in this album. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that, too, which is so interesting. I mean, I don't want to say the only thing. I feel like that's not the right word. But one of the main pillars that changed in your life was sobriety. And then it created this other beautiful opportunity.

It sounds like for, you know, for the music and everything to flow. I taught with a lot of people, they're worried about their. creativity, whether they be an artist, whether they be a businessman, closing deals, whatever sort of their profession is, they're like, well, if I'm not drinking, how am I going to still be a master of my craft? No, that was one of my biggest fears. Or like people's, like, what if I lose my like sparkle? And I sparkle so much brighter now. It's insane. And even with, like, I got on ADHD meds and people were like, oh, I don't want to get on meds. because I don't want to lose my sparkle.

I sparkle so much more. I'm like faster, like I said, faster, funnier, more creative, quicker in the writing room, have better ideas in the writing room, can see the concept better in the writing room. I'm just so much like clearer and quicker. And I wish I'd known that sooner. I just wish, I mean, obviously everything has to happen for a reason and, you know, you can't rush change. but I just I wonder where I would have been if I stopped sooner.

But then I'm like, I'm happy I went through everything I went through to now have the perspective I have. It's a catch 22. You know what I mean? But it's a beautiful catch 22. Yeah. So you mentioned earlier too that there were some people in your life that were like, why don't you try it out when you kind of get back from tour and all that stuff? Like what did that feel like? So people were kind of picking up on that, I mean, whether this was a problem or was affecting you?

Yeah, well, I live with my best friends, and they're from my hometown. So they've known me all through my young 20s when I was partying. You know, we used to waitress together. So they know me pretty well, and they're not afraid to have hard conversations, which some, you know, you'll have your party friends and you only party with those friends. And you'll have your whatever friends. And you only do that one thing with your friends. But these are kind of like my life friends, like the we're together.

forever forever and ever amen and so they just they were noticing it and when you live with someone who has crippling anxiety and a bit of a love for the alcohol they they just noticed and they were just like if you're this sad like we don't want you to be sad so why don't you change and i just i was kind of unwilling to i was quite stubborn i'm unwilling to change and it's in unfamiliar heaven i didn't like change because i was afraid that it would change me So I just needed a little rougher push, which one of my friends gave me. And it still took me like until two. That was in the summer.

And then tour started. I went sober October 6th. That was my first full day sober. So it took like a couple more months. Obviously I needed that external reason to start. But then once I did like her words just kind of stuck in my head. Sometimes you just need a friend that you feel. safe with to yell at you when you're blackout drunk you know what I mean yeah or someone to just be

to be honest like I yeah I feel like there's yeah there's like those drinking buddies and it's kind of yeah it's tough I feel like that's tough to find like these days you know I mean I see so many people kind of go in different directions and their buddies just kind of co-sign the BS or or whatever not maybe mention anything and it's kind of like man you got to say it might not change right saying something might not change their course or course today or tomorrow, but maybe down the road, they look at things different. So, I mean, coming up on a year, October 6th, we'll be my one year. Yeah, it was interesting, too, when I was, when I was reading some of the, you know, the one article kind of out there, too, is you had mentioned,

like, it's not, no guarantees or one way or another that it's forever, which I think is just an incredible message for people because I feel like when people start, that's one of the barriers or the things that prevent them is like, oh my gosh, forever? That's why I started three other times. And I was like, forever's too long. I can't commit to that. That's a scary commitment. So I just say like today and tomorrow.

And I also give myself grace. I'm like, I think if you remove the pressure of forever, that's nice. Because like, I think I'm someone who easily shames herself. It's in God knows I try. I just have a lot of deep-rooted shame. So I think, like, if I were to fall off the wagon, I would shame myself. So I'm almost taking that off of my plate being like, and if you go back one day, it's okay. It's going to be okay.

And if I shame myself, that'll keep me in the spiral. But if I'm just like, and you made a mistake, and you can start over. And it doesn't have to be forever. It can just be today and tomorrow. And I think that really helps somebody like me that's like, I can't commit to that long. I didn't even commit to a year. I didn't commit to anything. I said, I'm just going to do today and tomorrow.

And we'll see how far I get. And that's enough. Let's just see how far I get. And there's some days that I'm like, um, an alcoholic beverage would be really nice. But then I'll text, you know, my two best friends and I'll say, hey, like, am I? Is it better than I'm sober? and they'll be like, well, you weren't, you know, bad as a drunk. Like, they'll be nice to me.

And I'll be like, I want to have a drink right now. Should I do it? And they'll be like, you are prettier, you're funnier, you're way better at your job, you're more mentally stable. This is the best we've ever seen you in your whole life. Like, they'll write paragraphs and I'm like, and we're not going to drink. And I just needed to get through that, you know, it takes like, there's a TikToker that I follow.

She's like, it can take one second to slip. But if you get through that one second, you're like, oh god i'm so happy i didn't slip holy schnauzer cow um so that's i definitely turn to people my parents really like that i'm sober like i think i'm a lot chiller and nicer to them um and they're like we're so proud of you so i think it's just like having people that and there's some people that are like oh we're going to break your sobriety which is crazy to me but as long as you find your people that are just like no you are really good We loved you drunk, but we love you sober, like stay sober.

And it helps that like my producer doesn't drink. My manager really encouraged me not to drink, obviously. I mean, she wants me to do my best and be my healthiest. So I just have like a really great group of people in my core that are like, yeah, don't do it. But like I can still be around drinking. Like it doesn't really bother me when people drink. If people get drunk, like, and obnoxious, I do have to remove myself a little, just because I think I project my shame and I don't want to do that. So I just remove myself from those situations.

But being around alcohol doesn't bug me. And I also quit nicotine, too. I used to vape and do nicotine pouches. And I said, no more. All done. As I tell my dog when she's doing something, I'm like, all done. No more. All done.

So I did those both at the same time. So I'm almost a year without nicotine too, which is pretty dope. Wow. That's, yeah, that's great too. Were you worried about bringing this story kind of to the world, I guess? Or what were your thoughts on that? I definitely kept it secret for a while. I think, like, some people noticed that I would drink non-alcoholic.

And I would tell anybody that I talk to face-to-face. I'd be like, I'm sober this many. Like, I was really excited about it. But it does make me, I mean, you can see my hands so I can squeeze in each other. It does make me a little nervous putting it out into the world because people have opinions. And that's why I kind of kept it to myself and off social media

to like 11 months in because I just didn't, I don't want to be, I know, I shouldn't say this. My manager will be like, Robin, I don't want to be a role model. I don't want anyone to tie their surprise. to me. I don't want, like, them to be, you're, I don't, I mean, it would be great if I'm the reason they got sober, but it just seems like a lot of pressure to put on my own sobriety. And I know that there are people that could handle that, but I'm like, what if I break? And now I ruin this person. And I could cry. It goes back into, like, my shame. So I just wanted to keep it secret and safe

and get as far as I could until I felt like I could actually talk about it. Even now I cry a little because I feel everything, Brad. Do you know what that's like? Yeah, it is part of it. I mean, a lot of people talk about a pink cloud too in the beginning, right? Because you're waking up, you're feeling better. Yeah, sleeping good. Sleeping good and getting shit done.

Getting after it. And then sort of that fades away. And then it's like, okay, now all of the stuff that maybe we've been burying or numbing or drinking about, it's like, oh, it kind of comes back up. Maybe being like a kid all over again in some ways. I do feel very childlike. I'm like, I want to do this craft, and I want to go for this hike, and I want to go on this adventure. And it is so fun.

But I do feel like I'm relearning so much. Yeah. For the other part there, too, about, you know, not wanting to be a role model or, you know, having people look up to the pressure of like, hey, I got sober because of you. And however things played out with you, it could, you know, affect other people. Oh, Robin drinks now. That means I can drink now. And it's like, woo, maybe just do what's best for you and it have nothing to do with me. Yeah.

I mean, I think so, like how you're out there doing stuff. And for anybody who kind of is like being a role model is probably going to be part of it, whether it's something that we set out to do or not. It's like, I think that that can have the impact on people one way or another. Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of people kind of wait, right? You want to see, like, is this for real? Is this, yeah, how do I want it to kind of play out?

Am I going to stick with it? Makes sense. Yeah. It's interesting because, like you said, it's hard to say forever, you know? Yeah. So it's just like, it just seems like a lot of pressure and a lot of, like, what if I do slip up? And then someone's like, she failed, you know? I just, I already shamed myself so much that I'm like, oh, I don't want.

more of that. But I am, but yeah, I'm about to be one year. And I was talking to my friend, which I don't know if he's, I think he posts that he's sober. He's like a year in four months right now.

And he's like, what I was worried about, he kind of was like, no, it is a little harder. After a year, then what? You know,

you don't have, oh, I made it 250 days. Oh, I made it. you know, 300 days. Oh, I made it a year. Now what? I have to wait a whole other year to make it to two years. A year and a half doesn't sound as cool as 250 days, you know? So that's something I'm a little nervous about, but I do really love my sober little life. So let's keep trucking on, you know? I don't even do weed anymore. I don't do any substances other than Diet Coke and caffeine.

And my insular And my ADHD Metz The list goes on But no So I'm excited to see My perseverance And what I

What reasons I can find To carry on that aren't a number Yeah I mean I like to And you're right though But being Me being in these conversations Of doing this for some time

That one year scares a lot of people Because it's Does it? Okay, it's not just me. Not just you at all. No, that is very common because it's like, I think that's where a lot of people start. You get 30 days and then it's like, all right, now a year.

It somehow skips is like the goal. But I think you take your philosophy and your perspective of today and tomorrow. Like you ride that out. That's it. Yeah. And I always made the joke too in my early sobriety. I said, listen, I was drunk all my 20s, had a great time. 30s, I'll be sober.

I'll be an alcoholic when I'm 50 or 60, okay? when I got a lot of money and I'm living on a beach or when I got no money and I'm living on a beach, then I can have a little drinky poop. But for these next, you know, maybe this decade, let's just see what the cookie crumbles. But I've had my fun. I've done it.

I've done it. We're good. You can't say I didn't try it. And now I would like to be sober for a little while. Yeah. What's the one me? I see a meme out there. Went pro and retired early.

From drinking. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, I could drink y'all under the table, okay? And I just don't want to now, okay? Yeah. And it doesn't mean I can't just means doesn't mean I don't want to. I also think, like, I was talking to my friend too about, I could just keep talking about this.

I have no one to talk to about this. I feel like in movies growing up, and I could be wrong, but like a lot of rom-coms, teen rom-coms, it's like they like they like each other. and then the girl gets too drunk and he takes care of her. And I think for a long time, I was like, oh, if you're the drunk girl, a guy will like you and take care of you. And let me tell you, nobody took care of me. No guy thought it was more attractive that I was drinking. But I thought they'd find me attractive because I drank.

I thought they were like, I want a girl who can drink beer. And I'm, and I'd like to report that some guys, some very attractive, very brilliant, beautiful men, will like you if you're sober. And that was a huge thing that I was scared of was that guys wouldn't want to date me because I'm sober. And there was a few guys that were like, this is weird that you don't drink.

I don't know what to do. But then I met a guy who's like, I think it's super dope that you don't drink actually. This is great. And I was like, oh, oh, you can meet someone that doesn't care that you're sober and actually finds it wildly attractive.

And that really, that's a new part of my healing. journey. Yeah. No, that's incredible. Yeah, they're out there. They're out there. They're out there. Yeah. Um, thinking about too, like a lot of the stuff you're sharing about like, shame, the anxiety, you know, it seems like too, your mental health was impacted. I mean, obviously the anxiety and everything fits into that too. Um, like, where did all this stuff come from? Is there like from when you were younger or throughout this journey? Yeah. I think I'm, I'm a very overthinking hypercritical person.

And I grew up in the church. So for a long time, it was, you know, women have to do this. And then so I think I started a little shame there, especially around my body and modesty and all that stuff. And so I slowly unpack that through the years. But shame is, shame is very sneaky and it's not talked about much. And I'm trying to read a book on it. but it it latches on and in therapy when i have to like imagine it my shame is like a very big dog like a wolf-like monster with red eyes that lives in this cave inside me and i'm trying to be its

friend we're working on that in therapy and i know that sounds cuckoo and crazy but when i close my eyes i'm in a cave and i'm like petting this gigantic wolf creature and that is shame it sits inside you and and it's scary until you walk up to it and try to be nicer to it and then it'll be nicer to you and you work through it. But I could not work through my shame with drinking. It was never going to happen. I was always going to be in that darkness if I didn't stop. And that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for all I say. I'm always like, and that's okay. And that's okay. And that's okay. Yeah. Well, I mean, we're so hard on ourselves too, especially what, you know, you shared the overthinking element.

Like we're just hard on ourselves like throughout this. I think that that approach of like grace and, you know, we'll figure it out and we've made it this far. So we'll figure it out as important. Yeah. And I think when the shame rears its head, I'm like,

I can't believe I did that when I'm drinking. And that person probably thinks I'm crazy and blah, blah, blah. I just go like, and then you changed and you saw a problem and you changed it. And now you're different. And they might never get to experience your change. But you did it. You did take accountability.

You did put in the work. And you did change the thing that was a problem. So every time I'm like, oh, I'm just like, and then you changed. And that's okay. And it's okay that that happened. You can't change it. But you changed. And you change every day.

And you work hard to be your best every day. And like the song says, God knows I try. I know I try. And that's all that matters. Yeah. Did you write all of the songs for the, the new album? Yeah. Yeah. Is that what most people do? Like, do most people do that or no? Some people do. Some people don't. Depends. I know, I think a lot of the people I follow write their

own songs. Carter Faith writes a lot of our own songs. Ella Langley writes a lot of our own songs. And we'll do the odd outside cut when we're like, holy crap, we couldn't have written that song any better. And we love songwriting. But a lot of the people I follow definitely, their own songs. And yeah, I mean, I think that's how it began for me. I was a songwriter that had too many big feelings or a kid that had too many big feelings that didn't know what to do with them. Oh, sorry.

My diabetes is yelling at me. Low blood sugar. That's fine. And so I think, yeah, I just, I had nowhere to put the thoughts. So I put them in songs. And that's why I do it. I do it to write. And I'm just lucky enough that I can also sing them and create a world around them.

Yeah. There must be a healing part to all of that or processing part. I feel like once it's on paper and pen, like the voices stop. Like the, I call it my songwriting brain and it'll yap my ear off until I get it on the page. And then once it's on the page, once it's in a song, once it's in a melody, it's just like, and then it's gone. It's like a wave crashes and then I'm cleansed. So yeah, it definitely is very freeing. So that's why I write a lot of my songs.

And yeah, I'm just lucky that I get to sing them too. Yeah. But if anybody wants to cut my songs, go for it. I've got a lot of songs in the bank. Someone cut them. The best of both worlds. Yeah. And that's an opportunity for you, too, to write songs for other people.

Is that what you're referring to there? Yeah. I've written a few songs for other people, but I definitely want to die. into it even more now that the album's done and and keep writing for me and maybe another album because why not life's short life's a bitch and then you die might as well do another album yeah he may as well do you feel like you're changing as a artist songwriter like from where things first started for you to now and forward i think i'm getting back to who i was i think when i was a kid I'd write for the joy of writing and to get rid of a feeling.

And then I think in my mid-20s, I was writing to please somebody else or or write the right song. And now that I'm sober, I'm back to writing because I think the song is dope. And I don't care what anyone, sorry, and I don't care what anyone thinks around it. I'm just, I'm writing for the joy of it again. And it's so nice. So have I changed? No, I just grew down and went right back to the roots of why I started in the first place.

I did the opposite of change. I changed and then I unchanged. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. I mean, I think that is a, I mean, obviously, I'm not into songwriting and anything like that. But I do often wonder how many times, just in anything, I mean, creators and Instagram, I wonder how many times we're out there publishing stuff because it might get the hits and how exhausting that is because you probably know as well as most people.

Not everything's going to work. And then when it doesn't, maybe question, I can get stuck on this question my worth, you know, like it didn't really hit. I put so much work into that and it didn't really work. Like maybe I'm missing something. Yeah, it can be tough. Well, I mean, growing down was, I wrote it the third time. quit drinking.

And it was such a personal, like, self-journey song. And then so when I put the demo up, it was the first demo I put up in a while to just be, like, throwing something out there. But I was like, oh, this won't be the one that catches. It'll just be the one that starts the momentum because it's too personal. And it's not about drinking and partying and breakups and what people want to hear. It's about, you know, stripping layers and saying, F everything. and that's and that was the one that you know went viral and I'm like I don't know what I'm doing

I don't I think I I think I know what people want and and I and I tried to chase that which is rare usually I never chased it and then I started chasing it and then I went back to being like but this is where I'm at right now this is my truth and of course that's the one that freaking fires up and I'm like oh why did I change why did I try to chase why didn't I just write from the heart and put it out? And remember that that's what people want is just the real authenticity. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I mean, I could see the opening line of that one, too,

why it would catch on for people. I'm thinking, yeah, I mean, I sat at a lot of those tables. Me too. And there's free alcohol at them. Yeah, makes it even better or worse. I guess depends where we were in life at the point. What are some of your biggest takeaways? I mean, heading towards wrapping up.

I mean, thank you so much. Your biggest takeaways from starting this out 11 months, one year around the corner. My biggest takeaways is sometimes change is a good thing. Being sober will never strip you of your personality or your humor. It will just make you who you are in its purest form, which I wish I had heard earlier. and sometimes feeling everything is what life's about. Those are my biggest takeaways. Sometimes what you're trying to numb is exactly what you should be running towards,

even though you're going to cry a lot. But crying, I love a good cry. I love a little, not when I have my eyelashes on because it'll ruin my eyelashes, but crying and feeling is what life's about. And don't rob yourself of that experience. Yeah. Especially as a songwriter whose job it is to feel and put things on freaking paper.

Stop it. Got to hit those different emotions for people listening. Yeah. I'm curious too with everything that you've shared. Like, what's not drinking really the big thing here? Like I feel like a lot of people share that it's the doorway to all of this other stuff.

Like you decided to not drink and you give yourself a break. And then all this other stuff comes up, the shame, the anxiety, just being a songwriter. you're connecting with your emotions, feeling everything. Like, I always wonder, like, quitting drinking is the doorway to the growth, the development, to the change, to maybe the awareness that, hey, something is here. But I'm like, I think back, I'm like, man, is it, it's not really a big spoke on the wheel.

Maybe. I don't know. It does feel like a doorway, because like that's a thought I have, which I have to text my friends about, is was drinking the problem. could I go back to drinking now and be better after all this growth I've done? The thing is, I don't want to find out. I don't care if it was the big problem or it wasn't the problem. Obviously, the problem is my deep-rooted shame, some insecurities, some self-worth problems.

That's the big problem that I was obviously drowning, but I don't want to find out. I don't care to know. If drinking wasn't even the biggest problem, but it was just the doorway, don't. Yeah. Don't have to close the door again. Don't have to open it again. Don't have to find out. There's some things in life I just don't want to know.

Some things are better not to know, as one of my song says. So is what's drinking really the problem? Probably not. Do I want to find out if it was the problem? No. I don't know. I don't want to know. That's great.

I'll just blame it all on drinking. Drinking was the problem and I'll move on from there. Is that bad? I don't care. It's fine. If it gets me through today and tomorrow, that's all that matters. Yeah, that's it. I mean, I think we could spend all, you know,

we can spend a lot of time in life to try to figure out exactly what things are. And I mean, sometimes things take time and they reveal themselves as we go. What would you mention to somebody who's considering, you know, maybe they stumble across this and they're a huge fan of yours and they're just wondering, like maybe my life would be better with not true. drinking. Like, where would, what would you say to him? I would probably say what my best friend said that was like, just try. Just go three months and see what happens. And if you really look at it, three months isn't

a lot of your life. So why not try? If you do think maybe there's a problem, then try. Who cares? What are you going to waste three years of your life not drinking? Darn it. What a waste. Sorry, my blood sugar's drop in, so I have to drink my smoothie. But, yeah. Yeah. If you're curious, go find out. Nobody's, nobody's ever mad that they got sober. I'll tell you that for free.

No one's ever like, oh, I wish I didn't do this. And there's no harm in finding out. Yeah. No, I love that. I love that. I think it's a good place for people to start. Like, yeah, what is 90 days? And the big calendar of life.

to try something out. No pressure. Just today, tomorrow. Just give it a go. See what happens. Yeah. Beautiful. Anything else that we didn't cover

that you want to mention before we wrap up? I think we covered a lot. I'll probably not be able to listen to this podcast, no effect. Was it bad or for your own? No, I'm just, I just talk. And I'm a little honest sometimes.

And I'm like, oh, no, why did I say that? but it needs to be said. It was honest, so say it. I was the same way after the People magazine. I had to get my manager to read it first, and she knows what would give me anxiety and what wouldn't. So she was like, you won't get anxiety from this. You'll be proud of it.

So it'll probably be the same with this episode. She'll probably listen to it, and she'll say, Robin, you did really good, and you should be proud of it. And I'll go, okay. You'll go along with it. Yeah, I love that. I think I just, um, kind of when you were like, well, what would you classify yourself as?

Or do you say you're an alcoholic or are you this? I feel like sometimes I'm like, I don't deserve to talk about sobriety. Some people have really quit alcohol from a terrible place and their life was hard and they had so many more barriers that I don't, again, all comes back to shame and being good enough. Am I good enough alcoholic to talk about being an alcoholic? You know? So I think I think that's a thing.

thing where I'm like, I don't, what stick do I have to stand on to talk about this? But I just went a year without drinking. So I think I have a little bit of a stick to stand on. Is that even the same nowadays? Hey, Brad, you got a stick to stand on? Come on, man. Yeah, I can get one. Yeah, and that was kind of before we jumped on the recording here too.

So I think that that is, you know what? I taught with so many people who they feel like they don't have a seat at the table or that they shouldn't have a seat at the table because their life was in a certain way like we see in the movies or something. And I'm glad people like yourself and like those other people are coming to the table and sharing your stories because it could literally be the unlock for somebody else who's in that exact same spot that feels like they don't belong. And I think there's a lot of us that struggle with a sense of belonging in general. Because alcoholism doesn't have to look like getting wasted, crashing your car, ruining someone's life. It doesn't have to look like broken tissues, and it doesn't have to look messy for it to be

what you're going through or ruining your life. I had a very beautiful life. I had house. I have a successful job. I have a dog. I have friends. I have family that loves me. And I still had a problem with alcohol.

So you don't, it doesn't all have to be going wrong for it to be going wrong. You know what I mean? And I just, I love me. my life and I love my friends and I do have a very beautiful life that I'm super grateful for that I was very lucky to have. Not everyone has this life. And even then, alcohol still got to me. So I think that's also maybe if you're in that boat where you're like, well, my life isn't bad. Nothing's wrong. Okay. You could still, alcohol could still make you really sad. So maybe that's a takeaway. Maybe that's what I needed to hear. It was like, you don't have to hit rock bottom to realize that

there's a problem. Yeah, 100%. It's a lot of people share to that internal turmoil, that internal struggle. So it might not be outwardly, you know, these rock bottoms happening, but how they feel on the inside is just, I was really eating them up. It was really tough. Oh, it ate me up from the inside. Yeah, but no.

It doesn't have to get bad for you to just want to do something different. And also, people really don't, a lot of people don't. care that you don't drink. And I think I, I thought everyone would be pressuring me. And it was hard. Like, when you're two weeks in, people are like, ah, who cares? Have a drink. But I noticed when I was like, I'm six months sober. People would be like, oh shit. Sorry, man. Like I, they don't want to fuck with it. A lot of people, there's the odd person that's like, I'll break it, which is like weird behavior. And you can be like, that's weird behavior. But a lot of people are like, holy shit, keep going. Times have definitely changed, I think, a lot in the last decade around sobriety and,

and, you know, there's sober drinks everywhere you go. So I think don't be scared of people, like, also trying to, like, trick you out of it. A lot of people are, like, rooting for you, which surprised me. Yeah, that's super cool. Well, thank you, Robin, for hanging out with us today and sharing some of your story. And, yeah, keep rocking out there. Thanks. You too. Keep Motivating. I'll try. All right. Have a good one.

Thank you. Bye. Well, there it is. Another incredible episode here on the podcast. Super grateful for Robin and her team to set up this episode, join. Share her story with all of us. Huge congrats to her on release date, October 6th, one year sober. I'll drop her contact information, Instagram, her YouTube channel.

Check out her music. It's incredible stuff. Work through that new album because it's like she shared. I mean, this is deep, authentic. vulnerable, a lot of great stuff in there. So thank you as always for listening along and I'll see you on the next one.