Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Sober Life Updates with Scotty and Mike

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

In this episode, we catch up with two remarkable individuals, Scotty and Mike, who share their inspiring journeys towards sobriety. Scotty opens up about his past struggles with addiction, the challenges he faced, and the transformations he's achieved since hitting rock bottom in February 2022. He emphasizes the importance of community, mentorship, and self-awareness in his recovery journey. Mike, also known as @SoberSavvy, provides an update on his continuous growth since his initial appearance on the podcast. He reflects on his 31 months of sobriety, the impact of therapy, and the importance of genuine connections in his life. Both guests highlight the significance of staying connected, being open to change, and the profound benefits of a sober life. Connect out Scotty on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scotty_soprano/ Connect with Mike on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobersavvy/

Hey, how's it going, everyone? Welcome back to another update episode here, connecting with my buddy Scotty and my friend Mike. Both of these guys put in a lot of work into their sobriety, into their life once they made this decision. It's been incredible just to see the change and just even how people talk and their level of awareness, especially these two. Here on the podcast from when they first joined me and I've known them over the years and just so proud of them. So check out these episodes. We got Scotty's first, and then we'll plug into Mike second. And if you enjoy this or anything stands out to you, be sure to send them over a note on Instagram.

I'll drop their contact information like I always do if I can. Down to the show notes below, let us know what you think. Now let's get right into Scotty's story. Let me tell you someone about Addiction. Yeah. Welcome everybody to this update. We got my buddy Scotty here. It's been a couple years, too.

We were chatting since you've been on the show. show. And I'm thinking a good place to start is for anybody who didn't catch that episode. Take us back to what things were like for you. Oh, man, it's been a while. I get constant reminders driving through my city about what it used to be like. But yeah, man, I feel like I'm so far from the guy that you even met. So yeah, I struggled with addiction 20, 20 years, 20 plus years. I was just like a functioning alcoholic, got into the drugs, tried to just get off them, didn't work. And then things got to go. got worse and they got a lot worse. And the rock bottom lasted about five or six years. I was in debt

with my place. I was in debt with my credit cards. And like it was just one thing after the other. My my dad died, right? That spiraled me a little bit more than my brother-in-law. He overdosed. And we found him actually. And that's when I stopped. That was the last day, February 2nd, 2022. So my date is 2222. 2-22. Well, good, man. I mean, yeah, even when you popped on here, I'm like, man,

this guy, you're like just looking like a million bucks. Not that you weren't before, but progress, right? And you mentioned too, like rock bottom for six years, right? I think there's this. Tell me your idea on this. But I hear so many people say as like maybe a way to keep things going.

I haven't hit a rock bottom yet. I haven't had this happen. I haven't had that happen. It's almost like the flip side of the question is, what are we waiting to happen? What are we waiting for? I even find in my own journey, even when I got to those what outside people might consider rock bottom, like it wasn't motivation to necessarily change. I mean, what are your thoughts on that and even going through it for years? Like how was when the time came to 22 made you ready to make the changes? For me, I think that if you think you have a problem, you probably do. Like, you didn't end up on sober motivation because you're successful at drinking, right?

You reached out to an Instagram page like this to get a little motivation to show you that you can do this, right? So I know for me, I was just in denial for so many years. And, like, looking at it now from the other side of being in recovery, I could see that a lot of my friends were. And I'm not one to really judge people, but I'm like, I could tell when somebody has a problem. But for me, hitting my rock bottom was, I'm grateful that I did. Because a lot of people, they might die or they might suffer in silence for so many years and never really get the help that they're looking for, right? For me, like they say, we talked about this last time, addiction has given up that one thing for everything. So as soon as I put down that drink, I was able to see, like, the world is, I could take whatever I want from here, man.

Like, I could do whatever I want. Once I put that addiction out my way and I'm just grateful that I realize that I am an addict and I have a problem. and I need help. I felt like that's another thing too as a man. It's just my dad went to rehab multiple times. And he was just like he always had that tough guy attitude and rehabs for quitters. And he eventually died from this disease, right? Me, I get a chance to stop now.

And the rest of my life, I don't have to fucking use or pick up drugs or drink or anything, right? It's, I'm okay with knowing that I have a problem and I'm powerless, right? Yeah. No, well said there too. And that quote comes up a lot too, right? Give up one thing. You can have so much more, have everything else in life for that instead of having the substances, drugs, alcohol, whatever it is in our life. I mean, your dad's passing too.

I remember you had shared about that relationship and, you know, how things were to. I mean, how did that impact you even when you got sober to like instill now, I'm sure I saw a post a little while ago from you just in memory of it. And I mean, how has that experience been for you? Yeah, it's funny you say that because there's not a moment that doesn't go by where I don't think about him. I was at work today framing. I'm framing this hospital on. He just pops in my head, right? Because I'm working with this son and father duo.

And I was like, fuck, man. I wish I had something like that. So getting into recovery, it was good because I was able to process this a little bit more. Because what it really happened, it felt like nothing happened to me. It was just like, well, he's gone. Keep party and forget about it. hide the feelings and like mass the emotions. But coming to recovery, it's gave me an opportunity to talk about it a lot.

And I've talked about it in therapy, with my wife, with my brothers, with everybody. And I've also found a lot of people that are in the same boat. I'm not the first person to lose her father. But I know this by realizing that he passed from this disease, I could overcome it. And I could potentially be the last person in my bloodline to suffer from that disease. It ends here kind of thing, right? And I take pride in that. I come from a family that's Irish and Scottish,

and they die from this, from drinking and cirrhosis. I'm the guy that's going to fucking change that. Yeah. I hear a lot of people share that too. I think when we look back at our life with that honest lens that we get in recovery to say, this has been going on for a long time and a lot of families, and this is our opportunity, right, to change our life. And then hopefully those that come after us can see a different way.

Some people, I think they grow up. And this wasn't necessarily my thing. story, but I hear it a lot, just didn't see that anything else was possible. It was just so normalized, the alcohol for some, it might be other drugs too, but it was just so normalized. It was like a right of passage in so many ways. And to be able to provide some stability, maybe for the next generation, however that looks for us on an individual basis, that like this doesn't have to be a part of your life. Obviously, people are going to make their own choices, but to let them know there's options, I think is extremely powerful. Yeah, but yeah, man, it's pretty powerful.

especially I just got back from Scotland and Ireland. I did the whole UK tour. And last month I was over there, I was a mess, right? I remember going to every bar there was. And now I'm just like, I'm walking with my head held high and seeing all my family members remembering every conversation I had. And it's very, it feels very, I feel proud of myself to know that I'm coming over there as a different person. And I'm married now and it's been three years of this recovery that I've been working on, right?

Yeah. And being married too and everything. And I know just through our previous conversation. that your wife is a huge supporter of you and all the progress you've made. What have been some of the most important aspects that you've had to plug into? I know a lot of people talk about community connection support in different tools that they plug. You mentioned therapy too.

Like what are a few things you could pick out of the hat that have really been helpful for you? Yeah, I think it's, they say honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. I'm willing to get the help. I'm honest about talking about it. And I'm open to hearing ideas that, like, weren't really. for me before, right? I don't know. In my addiction, I was very isolated. You know, I didn't leave my house.

So I didn't talk about it with anybody. And getting help from somebody else that's been through it is, I think it's my number one thing. I have a guy that, like, mentors me, he sponsors me. He's 23 years and he's just, he knows his stuff, right? And just connecting with this guy and going out and doing regular stuff as a human being,

just got me back in the routine. And it drives me to do better, right? Having this whole community, like, the community is the best, right? I got guys, I sponsor guys, my guy sponsor guys, and there's like levels to this thing now. And it's just, yeah, man, when I do a certain program that you do step work, right? And it has all these steps, right? There's a lot of 12-step programs. But I found writing about all the stuff that I've been through in my life really helped me out.

There's a lot of stuff that's stuck up here that nobody really knows except for ourselves. And when I was able to put that to pen on paper, it says the therapeutic value of one addict helping the others without parallel. and just being able to talk about it with somebody else, like just a regular guy, not a therapist or nothing, just somebody that's walked to my footsteps, right? It's like amazing. I heard that,

I heard one time that addiction is like walking through the minefield. You just look for the footsteps and you follow what that guy did, right? And it just made so much sense to me. Yeah. No, I love that you brought that up too. Interesting for me, though, the interesting part is,

what do you think it is that prevents us for some time leaning into that help and trusting others, right? Because I think that I sure as heck was skeptical of following someone else's lead. Like I thought for years that I could think my way out of this on my own, right? I could figure this out. I got myself here. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I just wanted it to quietly go away, quietly figured out. And then obviously something changes. I mean, can you relate to that at all to like the point in your life where you're able to set, whatever aside and say, you know what, I'm going to follow some simple direction from somebody else and see how it goes. Yeah. Like I could have, like I said this in the last time,

at 16, I went to get help because the courts forced me to go, right? So I should have known way back then I got a problem, but it took me 20 years of struggling and being in denial to really to look in the mirror and say, maybe I'm the problem. I was really quick my whole life to point my fingers at everybody else and circumstances and the way I was raised and all this, but it wasn't, none of that was really my fault. I mean, anybody's fault but my. I made the choices, right? So, yeah, it took a really long time. And I see guys all the time that, that kind of struggle with it and think that I'm different than they were. And it's not at all. I'm like, I was, if not worse than you. So that's why the open mind of this plays a big part, because you

got to listen to somebody else. But me being a hardheaded kid, I didn't want to listen to anybody, right? Yeah, man. I remember my one of the, one of the ones. of my earliest mentors, Andy, he would tell me, man, he's like, your best thinking got you here. And it's not going to get you out of here. I mean, my best ideas, even when I reflect on it, I mean, got me in the most trouble in my life. I always ended up back to where I started again, just doing what I thought was best. And then it obviously helped me and you as well, leaning on other people. But I always wonder what, and I don't even have, I don't have the answer

completely. But I'm like, why didn't I listen? When I was younger, when people were like, hey, even my parents or whatever, right, are like, hey, you're headed in the wrong direction. And I was like, oh, I know best. I know. That'll never happen to me. But sometimes I think, you know, it's the painful part of all of this is that I think it just really takes what it takes, man. And there's people that are not so bad off. And I hear this a lot.

And they're saying, well, maybe if I had that big rock bottom, I would see that it's bad. Then I'm like, I don't know. Like big rock bottoms require a lot of cleanup sometimes. Yeah. And if our only tools are to drink or use substances, if that's the only tool in our bag, I don't think it matters what's going to happen around us until we develop new tools and find a support system that's going to help us. I think we're always going to go back to what we know.

If the only tool I have on my belt is a screwdriver, every job I go to, I mean, I can't just magically have a drill until I develop that tool. Yeah, until somebody tells you how to use it too, right? Yeah. So, I mean, are they showing you with the new job here how to use? Oh, I'm killing it. Fourth term apprentice is about to be a red seal. Which, okay, which is incredible, man.

Even on that, what do you think about the question of, did you ever think your life would be like it is now? Oh, fuck. It's, yeah, everybody says it always just gets better. And it's just, every day, it's just, that's what I love about being sober. It's just I wake up and I'm like, ready to go. What am I doing today? I make weekly goals, short-term goals, long-term goals, and I'm crushing everything. Everything's getting knocked off the list.

I'll tell you this one quick, because this happened, no, it happened this week. So I didn't pay rent all COVID. I owed over $30,000 in rent, where I live now, too. And I had to go to court for it the whole time, and I ended up doing this arrearious things where I said I'll pay it back. I just paid back over $30,000 in my rent, and I live in the same place that I was getting evicted from. And I just completely paid it off and I'm back to normal here now. And another part of that was, so they had this whole list of people that were trying to evict me from here.

Everybody signed it like a petition. Last year, they gave me 500 bucks to do a community barbecue for everybody. And it just shows you like the full circle moment of being able to be a member of society and help people out. And so don't take it from me. Don't not pay your rent for four or five years all COVID. But it does show you that things can, people can change, right? Yeah. Well, yeah, that's a great example in real time too, and that it's important to us on this side of things to do what we can to make it right in things that we did in the past, right?

Not everything necessarily will be repairable, but I think that's part of the living amends and doing the next right thing is like still owning and taking accountability for the way things were when we can, right? Even through the madness. Yeah. That's huge growth. Yeah, it's been amazing. But yeah, it just keeps getting better. Like everything about it is just, I don't know. I could go on for days about what I'm grateful for.

Like I got everything, man. Literally everything. Like I had to redo it. Like the license. I got the license. Got all this money in the car paid off. Out all the money for. And honestly, it's not even all about the materialistic things, to be honest.

It's more about the quiet in the brain. I heard somebody say that the other day. It says some people pray for world peace. Some people pray for peace of mind. I just want a little bit of quiet up here. Just give me the peace in between my ears. Because the way I was living was just, it was just chaotic. And yeah, I was just, it was like, I was worried about stuff all the time because I was living a certain way.

And I don't have to deal with that today. I could go home and fucking lay down. My wife got nice pillows and duvet sets and little things like that really fucking make me happy. And spending time with others and showing up is just a huge thing that I just neglected for so many years. And it's just the most important part to me today. Yeah, now that's beautiful, man. Yeah, that piece between the ears. that's one of the things that we do.

Like you said there, we live such chaotic lives, right? It's all of the different behaviors that creates this chaotic life. And some people, when they first get sober, they're like, oh, my gosh, I'm bored. And I'm like, yeah, because you're not doing all the other stuff. We don't have to run around and do all the other stuff we were doing. So bored, aka peace, man, is what we're aiming for here. But it's like when you're living fast like that, I sure did. I just thought that's like how it was, right?

That's what I was used to, just running around all that stuff. And then, yeah, you get sober and it changes, right? Life completely changes all for the good. But it does, for me anyway, it did take some time to get used to. I was like, oh, this doesn't feel comfortable. This is all new. This is different. I'm so used to things being a lot different.

What do you do, Scotty, when things get difficult? Things, you know, I went through some difficult things last year, right? My wife, me and my wife, we went through three miscarriages, which was really hard. And I just talk about it, right? There's so many people to talk to. And just, like I said earlier, there's so many people that I've been through what I've been through. And they know what's going on. Right?

So the last thing that I really want to do is pick up a drink. I'd rather pick up the phone and call somebody. There's somebody that's been through worse. And that was probably the most difficult thing I dealt with last year. We was dealing with that, right? We just go like, I get sober. We get married. Everything's gone.

And then life hits it, right? It's not always going to be good. like things happened right so it's just i don't know for my experience the best thing to do is just talk about it i do a lot of other things though i pray every day i was never open to that for whatever reason i'd end up in a church when i was loaded sometimes but i started praying and meditating praying and meditating was a big thing for me too to slow things down and it's not like i'm praying to god it's just i'm just putting my voice into the universe to take accountability of the person i want to be just living with integrity.

And it's nothing like crazy, the prayers and just me, just being a guy that's just happy to be alive. And I know I'll get through anything, right? They say your worst day using is still better than your best day using, whatever it is, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, things, your worst day sober is still better than your best day using or something like that. Exactly. The tongue tie. I get it, man. The life on this side is good for you. It's way easier, man. On that thought, it is way easier.

I think sometimes when we're getting the ball rolling and we're like, yeah, I might have to get sober. I'm thinking about getting sober or we got to be a couple days or something. I don't want to take away from how tough it actually is, but I almost wonder in my own story if I was making it way more difficult than it had to be, and I wasn't listening to what I heard all around me of keep it simple. And I was just complicating it. Like I had these reminiscing on forever and what's what am I going to do here and what am I going to do there and how am I going to do that?

And it's man, when I look back, it's like, especially in the beginning and even now, but it's really important just to stay in the present moment or the present hour, six hours or day. And I was always looking forward, man. And it would, yeah, I tripped over my own feet a lot. But easy, man. Yeah, that's why when those slogans are so simple and they're just so powerful, man. just for today and one day at a time. It's just even if somebody's new and they're thinking about it and they're trying to do it. Just focus on not drinking today.

That's another thing that I really focus on. As long as I'm not drinking just for today, I'll be all right. You know, we'll cross that line when we get there tomorrow. And the chances are tomorrow I'm probably not going to want to do it either. So it's just like I tell a lot of people, just give it 30 days, see how you feel after that. By the end of that, especially if you really care about your health, you're not really going to be putting alcohol in your system, right? People really want to focus on being the best version of themselves. That's how they're going to do it.

But you don't got to drink. Drink water. And you don't need that to have a good time either, right? Like both my brother-in-laws are both like health freaks and they're in the gym like six days a week. And one just got one year and one just got three years, right? And they're just going hard. The last thing they really want to do is drink and then I'll have to go to the gym, right? I don't know.

I just love the clarity in my brain and knowing that I'm making the right choices. Yeah. No, 110%. Yeah. I mean, just for the wellness factors too with all the information that. I mean, we're getting more access to the information about how damaging alcohol is to or to our body to everything, right? It wasn't like as readily available, I feel like a decade ago. So, I mean, we're improving in that direction.

And a lot of people are making a choice too from a wellness standpoint, which I think is great. I mean, you don't have to ride the elevator to the last stop. I mean, you don't have to. And not to say that everybody, you know, you have to have a problem to quit either. I mean, teach their own, right? But see where you're at. 30 days. I mean, 60 days, 90 days, take a break and see how much better you feel.

feel. The problem is, too, is like you got to be consistent with it because that's when the real benefits come in, right? Yeah. Because when you get consistency every time you're drinking again, it's okay. It's a restart mentally in a sense, right, for everything to heal up. Yeah. I even look at it with some of the guys from work. It's okay, they'll drink on the weekend. They come in Monday and they're all fucked. You know what I'm saying? I come in and I'm like, I'm ready to go. I didn't do anything. Like I prayed, I meditate. I eat my vitamins. I'm stretched. I'm ready. And some guys do that during the week too, right? So now they're performing. is slowing down. And that's just at work. Just imagine your life and how you're feeling up here and groggy.

And yeah, man, it's not for me. I've already done it a million times. Yeah. I have people saying that they want to get like, they've used for 20 years. So they've got to be sober for 20 years to tip the scales evenly, right? Yeah. Yeah. Is that that that's where you're headed, man. Yeah. Let me get 20 years at least. Yeah. Anything you'd want to leave anybody with, Scotty. I mean, there are a lot of people listen to the show are already on the journey and maybe could use a nudge. in the right direction or some insight or maybe people who are considering getting started with, you know, seeing what this is all like for them. Well, anything you'd mention?

Yeah, man, I'll even just say from my experiences, I remember when I first got sober, I was like a week without. And when you're on Facebook and Instagram, a lot of the ads are about alcohol and now they got shrooms and weed and everything. So I was like, the first thing I did was search up sober and your page popped up. And I think it was good to change my, my God, I'm drawing a blank. What's it called again? your algorithm of seeing positive stuff and seeing people talk about recovery and stuff like that

because when all you're seeing is party and drinking and stuff like that, you're just, you're going to steer that way, right? And talk about it with people. Like, it's possible, man. I'd suggest to listen to other people's stories, especially like this. Like, the people that are telling you, like, recovery is possible, have been there. They're not just telling you because they went on a bender once. People that are telling you about this is because they probably hit rock bottom and they found

they had a problem. And if you think you have a problem, you probably do. Yeah. Now, I love all of that. That kind of brings up another question for me, man, is when was the first time you thought you had a problem when you, I remember you went in front of that judge and the judge was like, you already, like, didn't he tell you had a problem? Yeah, they sent me to meetings. For me, realistically, the first time I was in that police chase when I was 16 years old or whatever it was, and that was like a life-threatening thing. I shattered my jaw, my legs and all. Like, I was messed up. I was drunk the entire time, right? So I knew then, but I was also 16.

It got to a point later that, like, every relationship I was ending, I was in was ending because of my alcohol. I didn't want to stop partying. And I guess it took me a lot of years to say enough is enough, right? I'm with somebody right now. Like, my wife, she doesn't drink either. And we got married at, what, 35? So, yeah, I wish I did a little earlier. But at least I'm doing it now.

And I'm just saying I'm growing up, right? It's time to stop. Yeah. Is that how old are you now? 38. 38, okay. Yeah, I'm getting to 40 now. Get the 40s right.

Me too, man. Yeah. I mean, me too, dude. I'm close enough to it as well, man. Well, thanks, dude, for jumping on here, man. Great to catch up. You got, man, how I first met, how I first saw you was when you were making the videos, man.

Yeah, let me tell you something about addiction. Yeah. I mean, what was that all about, man? Yeah, I don't know. It was just, what was it? So, yeah, one day, I just, woke up and I wanted to drink. I was like, I think it was about two or three months, sober, and I was like, you know what?

I'm not going to work. I'm ready to blow up my life right now. And I just made the video. Let me tell you something about addiction. And it came out and I had the feedback was crazy. And the reason I stopped is because the feedback was actually a little too much. I had people calling me at all hours of the night. And I'm trying to balance, I was trying to balance my life.

And it was just a lot. There's a lot to think about what to say. Even though I didn't really have to, I've been thinking about coming back with it, But yeah, I don't know. It was just, it was a lot. Yeah. I'm kind of like good creeping on the radar and just popping up. Like, hey, look what I did now.

Yeah, I know. That's what I see from you, man. I just see every now and then Scotty pops on there. And I'm like, yeah, there he is. Yeah, that's another addiction, right? Like, social media for me. It's just that's why I'm off the cigarettes. And I'm not doing the sugar and stuff.

I'm trying to do, I'm trying to get some of these things and just stop them. Yeah, which is all snowballed from the sobriety and not drinking, right? I think it's the process, too, man, of us starting to love ourselves to be able to make the other choices, to improve things in our life, right? I don't know about you, man, but I didn't identify with that when I was using. I didn't know what that was. If somebody was like, do you love yourself? And I would just be like, no, I mean, look what I'm doing to myself. How could I?

I just couldn't connect the dots and sobriety allowed me to runway to get to know who I was and look in the mirror and say, hey, you know what? Not a bad guy, man. you got some work to do. For me, I had some work to do, but at my core, I think I had a lot to offer the world. It was just all hidden behind fear, really. That's freaking bang on. I couldn't relate to that anymore. It took me a lot of years to realize that, right?

I used to look in the mirror and I freaking hate the guy I was. I had so much guilt of all these things that I've done. And then it took me a long time where I was like, you know what? I'm owning up to some of the stuff I've done and I want to change. I think that's the most important thing about it. And yeah, the self-love thing was, I started thinking I'm like, Why am I smoking cigarette as a man? I'm getting old.

I can't keep doing this. Like, I'm replacing one addiction for the other, and it's just one's going to take me out of the other one will, so I need to stop. Yeah. No, 100% too, man. I'm glad I quit smoking, too. Yeah.

It was good, man. It was taking a toll, man, on things. Like, it was like everything, man. It catches up with you. That's what I found anyway. It was catching up back when I was younger, whatever, man. I didn't even think about it. That's what we were doing.

But then when you get older and other people start quitting, and it's like, all right, I got to try for the hundredth time, but then it clicks. And then I felt like even with that, I was putting so much effort and energy into quitting so many times. And then the one time I just woke up and I was like, I'm just not smoking today. I never even really looked back. Yeah, I was the worst. So pretty much for the past eight months, I've been quitting every Monday.

So I haven't been the best with quitting. And I'm like, that's it. Monday I'm quitting. And it was like, it reminded me exactly of trying to quit. Because every Tuesday or Wednesday, I'd pick up a pack of smokes again. I'm right back to where I started. Ah, fuck it. Next Monday.

I'm telling you, it was literally like the circle of my life. I'm going to quit. I'm going to quit. It's not going to happen. I'm going to try again. It just never got there. Yeah. Well, good work, Scotty.

Great to connect, brother. Great to see you, brother. Yeah. Well, there it is. Scotty's story update. A lot of great insights there. A lot of growth there from where things were when we first connected. on the podcast. And when I first met Scottie, he sent me a message one day. He's like, I'm listening

to the podcast. You know, I think he was doing a garbage pickup for a bit. And he's like, I'm listening to the podcast on the back of the truck. Put a smile on my face, man, to hear that somebody was getting something out of the show. So let's hear from Mike and see where he's at. Welcome back to another update episode. Today we got Mike, aka sober, savvy. How are you? Doing good, buddy. How about you? Yeah, man. I'm well. I'm doing well. So bring us up to speed, man.

We were talking before, and I mean, you're at 31 months of sobriety. Yeah, 31 months yesterday. I guess the last time I was on here with you, I was somewhere around 10 months or so, which seems like a lifetime ago. I know. But actually it went in because somebody from the motivation community, Chester, he messaged me about a month or so ago, he said he had just listened to that old episode and thanked me for it.

And, of course, appreciate it and thanked him. And I said, you know what, I'm going to go back and listen to it. And went back and listened. And yeah, it was two years earlier, but it was all still there. The great thing about being sober is the truth is a lot easier to remember than the stories you're telling. Yeah. And when you go back and listen to it, too, do you recognize the growth in your journey? Yeah, absolutely.

Like last time I think I was around somewhere around 10 months of sobriety. And I was doing good. and I think by that point, I have been starting to host meetings for a while, trying to be in service and help others in the community, that type of thing. But it's just, it's interesting to see just how much I've continued to grow on the journey. A lot of it's tied to recovery. But as much as it's the work about recovery, it's as much about putting the work in on myself. About eight months ago, I started going to seeing a therapist,

and that's really helped unlock and realize a lot of the reasons why I did drink. I used to joke when I was drinking with my buddies. I said, I drank that much because there is things inside of me that needed to die. And really and truly, actually, when I first got sober, I thought all I had to do was put the bottle down. If I could just put the bottle of down, that'll be okay. But it was really, I came to realize not terribly long into it that I needed to start working on myself. And recovery has really helped me with that.

the recovery communities, going to meetings, talking to other people in recovery. Because a lot of us have similar stories, similar backgrounds. It may not be exactly the same. But it's like we say, look for the similarities, not the differences. And that's been just connecting with people. And it being a genuine connection. I had guys that I've been friends with for years and we were all drinking buddies. But that's really all we had in common.

And all we talked about was the game last night or who was the drunkest one at the bar last. night and laugh about the stories but the things I talk about with people in meetings and in these Zoom rooms like those are some of the most real and honest and vulnerable conversations I've had with people my entire life yeah well thanks for sharing that too yeah I mean it it does make a big difference I mean how do you get to that point because I think that's a hang up for a lot of us in a sense right about making new connections and looking at maybe the ones that are there is there substance to them are these do we want to continue that direction and then how do we make maybe new friends or new connections but growing in the

process to say maybe these relationships I'm going to have to move on from yeah well for me it was it was gradual and to a certain degree I still grieve the loss of some of those relationships with some of those people I have a guy that we were best friends we had work on each other's houses help each other out and well usually he was more of a help than I was but I was best man at his wedding a few years ago. His son's nine years old, called me Uncle Mike. And after I got sober, it was just, I realized, like, him and I's relationship was really just drinking. It was hanging out at the bar every day. And when we did get together outside of hanging at the bar, there was always alcohol involved. There was never not alcohol involved.

And that was just the life we lived. And that was the relationship. That's what I thought, having somebody close like that, I just wanted that closest. When I grew up, I didn't have, we moved all around the country. I was constantly trying to fit in with new friend groups. Through the course of grade one to grade 12, I think I was in five different school systems, I want to say. So in adult life, when I put down roots and the roots I put down just happened to be in the orchard of alcoholics, we'll call it.

That's what I surrounded myself with. That's what it got to be. And that's what was familiar. And then when I got into recovery, most people in recovery, I've never met in real life. There's a couple of people, yourself included. We had coffee, a couple other members. I think one other member of met in person,

but pretty much it's all been online. And they're the most true, real relationships and relationships I value in my entire life. but it still doesn't make me not grieve the old relationships. And part of that is it's just the hanging out. And because, again, too, because of how I grew up, I have a very dysfunctional family that I don't have any contact with. So to me, my friends were always my family.

And so that's the correlation I drew. So it was really hard for me to separate myself from this family. And at first it was because I still saw them, but I didn't see them off. And at first it was because I really had to for my recovery. And then I went through a brief period where I'd go and have lunch with them or something like that, just to feel like I was part of the crowd again, which was good. Again, I would always do the things, right? Make sure I could get there on my own so I can leave when I had to.

It was more of a daytime thing. I wasn't going out late night or anything like that. I wasn't going to put myself in those situations. But then, even in the last year, it's become a matter of, I don't want to hang out at the bar. Like, I just have no interest. And I can't believe that's all we did. All we did was hang out at the bar. For how long?

Like, how long would that span of your life been? The hanging out at the bar? Yeah. Probably, it was probably really bad the last, oh, trying to think. the last 10 years of my drinking. So I drank total, I probably drank close to 34, 35 years. The last 20 was every day. And the last 10 of that was pretty much being at the bar.

My friends, I'd see them at the bar five, six days a week. Yeah. On the weekends, be like, oh, I'm going into the office. I'd spend 10 minutes in the office and then I'd spend four hours at the bar hanging out with the boys. and just shooting the shit, just sitting there drinking. I had all kinds of booze at home. But just, but, you know, I heard somebody on your podcast once say,

she said the social connection was the addiction. And that really hit for me because that's what it was. It was these friends and these people I'm hanging out with. But now it's about the life that I've been able to build in recovery is being able to be present and clear-minded for my wife, for my home. I think when I first got sober, like the amount of projects that I had on the go around the house that I got cleaned up in the first little bit where I was like, wow, I got this done and that done. But it's just, it's just investing myself and investing in a life that I want. And that's productive and truly makes me happy.

Yeah. Because I didn't realize we talked in the meeting last night that I was hosting that I didn't, until I got sober and I started to have. gratitude for things. And I think just grateful I have a job. Instead of saying that I have to go to work, it's like I get to go to work. It's a really good thing. But just that part of that shift and that mindset. Yeah. It's just sobriety is just the gifts of sobriety is just a life beyond your wildest dreams. Yeah. And it's the growth too to look back and see because you like when you're in it is hard to see another way. Right. When you're going to the bar. every day that's what you hang out with. We hear it all the time on the show about this just so

normalized. This is just what we did. I mean, of course, it's always like that self-development sort of expression, right? Your result of the five people you hang out with. But it's also the flip side of things is the scary part can be, well, I'm going to move on from what was. I haven't found yet what is or what's going to be, and we get stuck in this middle space that can be really uncomfortable because it can be lonely too. You've done an incredible job, like you said, plugging in and staying involved in, how can I give back and how can I help with where I'm at in the world here to stay plugged in and host meetings and connect with people and make friends and make connections. But it can be scary to say, this was my whole life. I mean, you share 35 years or so of drinking the last decade in that social life and then switching things around to not drinking to it's okay. It's kind of me and this is really

uncomfortable. And I think a big part of it is that it's really unfamiliar for us. Sometimes we're just like, oh my gosh, this feels so weird. And the truth is it's just new. Anything that we try to do in life that we haven't mastered yet is going to feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable. But that's where the potential lies to grow, learn these skills, knowing you for as long as I have in this virtual world. And it was great to grab that coffee with you and have a chat. It's like we've known each other forever. You know what I mean? It's really strange. When you connect with people, you've known them online and they share this same journey and you have so many things in common in some way where you can just have this conversation and it feels so natural and it's not

strange or anything is just another gift of this whole process. But you've grown so much, man, since we first connected and first saw you in meetings and everything to, even recording that first podcast, plugging into therapy and being willing to do all of these things. Mike, there's a lot of guys from your generation that aren't willing to do a lot of these things. Yeah. No, and it's just become, it's not funny of it, but I don't what the right term to use is, but I can, when I'm talking to other people, I can see, I just want to, and I don't say it, but I want to say them, you're like, you should really get plugged in and go to therapy or talk to somebody. I really think it would help you because when you see people that are angry and frustrated,

just about life in general, and that's how they're dealing with it is with substances. And part of it in my mind anyway is the fact that specifically advertising and really and truly in Canada here, governments, like so much. any of our liquor commissions or government run, they're not only saying that alcohol is acceptable. It's acceptable to drink when you have a bad day. It's acceptable to drink to celebrate. Not only is acceptable, but it's encouraged. It's expected. And that's the sad thing. But like you touched on, like when you're in the life, you just, that's just the way it is. Like I couldn't have, a month before I was sober, let alone any longer than that, I couldn't

imagine a life where I didn't drink. Like I used to, I'd brag it with the buddies. Yeah, I can't remember the last day I didn't have a drink. And even if the days I was hung over or anything like that, it was just you can't get hung over if you stay drunk. That was the logic. And looking back now, it's like I'm almost embarrassed. That was my mindset.

It's, I just can't believe that's what I consider it a fulfilled life. I was living that life. And the more I look back now, it was the farthest thing. from us. Yeah, and maybe you'll relate to this and maybe you won't, but I think it can turn into a sense of survival without us, maybe even realizing it, and then you get entrenched in it. And that's a great reflection, I think, too, when we mentioned to people around us, because I had those times in my life where it just celebrated for just being a madman. And it was just like the cool thing to do. And then I look back at that now, and I'm thinking, it's not that there were bad people around me

or they were bad people, but man, I was surrounded with the wrong people, because, you know, Because now in my life, if I'm acting like a madman, people in my life are going to say, hey, you're acting like a madman. You need to straighten up a little bit and have a look at this. And I never really had that before. I think a lot of us that, you know, we're connecting on that level that was just looking for the escape, right, from every day. And then it just becomes a baseline, too, of, yeah, this drinking and trying to feel good. And then after you do it for a while, the flip side of it is, it's hard to really feel the joy. I noticed to the end of my drinking. I didn't really notice it at the time.

I picked up on it a bit, but I just didn't feel joy from doing anything unless I was drinking or if the place had drinks. And I started maybe subconsciously in a level only going to places where they had drinks. Like I didn't want to go there. Oh, they don't have to. No, let's go to this other place. Manipulating the world around me just to make sure that was going to be available because I couldn't really seem to feel a whole heck of a lot of joy without it. But you don't notice it at the time. It's everything else but the alcohol.

It's the girl I'm dating. It's the car I'm driving. It's the job I have. It's the college grades, whatever it is. It's everything else. No, I can totally really. Like, I wouldn't go to any event that I couldn't drink at. I wouldn't go to a restaurant that didn't serve alcohol.

That's why I wouldn't, unless I was going through a drive-through to grab a burger or something. Like, I wouldn't go to a fast food place because they didn't serve alcohol. Yeah. And even breakfast. We go for breakfast on the weekends and where I live, they can start serving alcohol at 9 a.m. and I would deliberately, if we were up extra early, I would deliberately drag my feet and not tell anybody so that we didn't walk through the door of the restaurant until 9-old.

So that the second I sat down that I could order a beer. It was all, and again, at the time, didn't see it, couldn't, right? I just, I drank because I liked the taste. That was my lie. Yeah. Because again, it was survival for some of the things I dealt with growing up. It absolutely was. But, you know, and the other thing that you touched on is you weren't feeling the joy either.

Yeah, like I, sure, I started drinking to deal with childhood traumas, to deal with my divorce, to deal, to deal and to cope with things and try and numb out. So I didn't have to feel those bad feelings or those uncomfortable feelings. But what I didn't realize was it also killed the ability to feel joy and happiness. It just did. Yeah. alcohol numbs your feelings, but you don't get to choose which feelings it nubs. It numbs them all. And again, someone, I can't remember who it was, but someone was on your podcast a long time ago,

they said they call booze liquid courage. It's not liquid courage. It's because you're deadening all those emotions is that you can't feel fear. It's not making you courageous. Like being courageous is getting sober. That's what getting courageous is. Yeah. Wow, I love that. Yeah, it's, yeah, it just masks everything and then it's just far from being authentic too, right? From getting to know ourselves, who are we, you know, what do we enjoy to do? And that's

another thing I think we come up against too when we get sober. It's like, all right, now, like you mentioned earlier, right, putting down, of course, if I put down the bottles causing all my problems, drinking. And then we quickly realized, oh my goodness, maybe there was more to this whole drinking thing than enjoying the taste. And then we've got to get to work on that. I mean, what has that journey been like for you and what progress have you noticed in your own life? The journey has been great.

Definitely some uncomfortable days, or as my therapist calls it, she says, we have a pretty heavy session. She says, you're going to feel spicy tonight. But it's really about, again, because of all the year. And not just the alcohol. Like growing up, again, my generation, you were taught. just to suck it up. Don't cry.

Don't have emotions. Like, if you got a problem, just keep it to yourself, suck it up and get through it. So a combination of growing up like that, and then by deadening the emotions and the anxiety with alcohol, I just, I had no idea what a feeling was,

like what these feelings were. Really one of the biggest things I've worked on in therapy is trying to notice how I'm feeling and try and identify those feelings. And if I'm, whether it's a, an anxious situation, a happy situation, whatever. Like, I really find myself now it's, okay, well, how am I feeling?

And it's still, it's definitely not easy. I can certainly try and identify more so now than when I first started. But that's really been the key is to understand why I'm feeling something. And it just, it just helps me in everyday life. Yeah. And I mean, such a big change, too, because you shared on the show, too. Maybe one of the turning points, too, was when you flipped your truck to get the wheels turning. And then you went through that too.

I remember, I don't have the greatest memory, but I remember that part, too, the next day of I need to do something different in asking for help right out of the gate. I find a lot of people ask for help. How are you able to get to a spot to accept it? You know what I mean? Like, a lot of people are like, hey, can help me? how do I do this? But you might give five suggestions. And sometimes the response is,

I tried all that. It doesn't work. Or that's somebody else's story. It's not going to work for me. Like how were you able to get in that mindset to say, you know what? Help is here. I need to start listening.

Well, for me, part of it, for me personally, part of it was my all or nothing mentality, which was a lot of my drinking mentality. Like I had two speeds go and go harder. but it was like that morning that after I saw the truck and I had rolled it and I just it just clicked that I had to stop drinking.

I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to kill somebody else. It's just that's just what I have to do. At that point, when I call that 1-800 number for the Addiction Center, I was just willing to do whatever they told me. I wrote down multiple numbers. Like I've tried AA. I've tried online communities. I've looked into other stuff like Darmer recovery, smart recovery, stuff like that. I'm just willing to do whatever I had to do because I knew I had to quit. And I still see my addictions counselor. Now it's every couple of months. Actually, I got an appointment with him next week. But he always said, it says, just take what works for you and leave the rest. So I haven't been on a linear, I guess one single recovery path. I've done a whole bunch of different things with my recovery because I'm just, I don't shut the

door on anything. I'll try something out. If it works, great. I'll continue to use it or build upon it. And if it didn't work for me, no harm, no foul. I'll just keep looking for the next thing that I need to help me on my journey. Yeah. And taking the suggestions from other people, being willing to fall through with stuff and at least lift up the rocks, right? Yeah, because when, like when I was drinking, I always knew everything about everything. That's a troublesome spot to be in, Mike. Yeah, I got me in trouble a lot of times. And I always had to have the last word. And again, looking back, it's like, why would you even think that?

And now it's a point of, I'm just that piece with, you know what, I don't know everything. And I'm willing to listen to suggestions. And not just about recovery, just life in general. Yeah. But it's really about that lifestyle and being humble and being open and realizing that I don't know everything about everything. Yeah. And taking it from there. Yeah. And there's freedom in that too. There's freedom in that. I was thinking actually yesterday on this, this tangent of things, I'm like, man, the more conversations I have with people, the more I realize that I know very little about how everything works in this area and just in others. But I think it's that willingness to get to that place to say, you know what? I don't have it all figured out and be willing to learn.

I think that can make the big difference between this working out and not working out. Yeah, and I still, to this day, like, I'm not perfect with it, but I work on it every day. I try and ask questions, right? Like, instead of being afraid to be looking stupid, I'll just, I'll ask the question if I don't understand something so that I'm not making it up or just doing something that's not going to work out. Yeah. No, so true, man.

Well, it's great to catch up, man. I mean, I see a lot, but it's great to catch up here on the show. I mean, I think there's just a lot of people. too that are share the same story man in one way or another you know about in with your story too like even though we listen to it here the recap right this the very narrow small picture of how things were a lot of other things in your life may have looked like they were going well from the outside mike aka sober savvy was living a good life i think we can put on a pretty good show and fool ourselves for quite some time that things are okay but i think it's good to hit home the message too

that no matter where somebody's at, I don't see somebody's life getting worse in the long run by not drinking. In the short term, it might, right? Because you bring up some really good points there too. You're avoiding emotion. You're numbing it for years. You've never really dove into what happened when you were younger. You get sober. All that stuff. You can't run from it anymore. So all that stuff is in front of mind. You're thinking about it, but you're plugging in and getting support. So things can get a bit Rocky for some in the beginning, but I don't see, say, after six months or a year, how it would be like, oh, man, my life is in a worse off place than when I was drinking with putting some work in. I think things do improve.

I've never woken up and said, man, I wish I got shitfaced last night. And I've regretted a lot of decisions in my life and getting sober is not one of them. Yeah, and that's massive growth. Anything, any final notes or thoughts, Mike? No, just I appreciate you having me back on and great to chat and catch up a little bit one-on-one and just got to keep doing this thing one day of the time. Yeah, and that's another important thing that we stress a lot too, right? We don't have to have this forever type thing.

That's overwhelming. We just do the best we can today. Yeah, no, the further I go, the more important one day at a time is. Yeah, beautiful. Well, thank you, Mike. All right, thanks, Brett. Well, there it is. two incredible updates here on the podcast.

If you listen to this episode all the way to the end, I would love for you to send me over a message on Instagram at Sober Motivation and just share with me a couple of your takeaways. Because I think this is very relatable stories in a big time sense. So send me a couple of your takeaways over at Sober Motivation. I'll be for sure on the lookout and I'll see you on the next one.