Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Sober Summer: Megan joins me on the podcast to talk about how to navigate your first sober summer

Episode Date: May 19, 2023

Your first sober summer is a big big deal and in this episode Megan and I discuss how possible this really is for everyone. We answer some of the follow questions: 1. Do you still have Cravings? 2. How do you deal with being nervous to hang out with old friends when being newly sober. 3. How to navigate your first AF summer? 4. How to navigate social event where alcohol is the theme?  5. How to response to friends saying wish you were drinking? 6. How to talk yourself out of having  drink on the deck on a nice day?   🔥 4 Tips that might help from sober coach Megan.  ------------------ Follow SoberMotivation On Instagram Follow Megan on Instagram 

Welcome to a bonus episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. I got my good friend, Megan, aka the sober sister. And we're going to be talking about staying sober throughout the summer. So if this is your first sober summer, this is going to be an episode you want to check out. Welcome, Megan. How are you? Hi, Brad. I'm doing great.

Thank you for having me. Of course. So I gathered a few questions from people that we'll go over. We'll just kind of give our insight. And then we'll get some tips from you about what worked for you early. on and how you navigated your first summer and just kind of go back and forth on that. I think one of the first ones I found this one to be really cool is how do you deal with being nervous to hang out with old friends when you're newly sober?

Yeah. I mean, that's a great question. And it can feel a little awkward at first, you know, and you could feel very uncomfortable. And I feel like that feeling only lasts for a little bit, though. For me, I remember one of my first times heading out. I was heading to hear some live music. And the first half an hour was just, I had anxiety. I felt like everybody was staring at me and that everybody knew that I wasn't drinking and they were making up all these stories about me. And that's not true at all, you know. And so once that half an hour

passed, it was totally fine. I had a great time. And I drank probably 20 seltzer waters that night. and but it was it's all good. So it is it's hard. And I think if we just keep powering through, you know, you're going to realize that you don't need alcohol to have fun and that you actually have a better time and that you feel great the next day. Yeah, that's the best part. It is definitely, it is definitely tough. And I've found out throughout my journey, I've just really, I know the old friends at first, you're going to be hanging out with people, but I've honestly found out that I just really have outgrown a lot of relationships for better or worse. We have different interests and, you know, things change a little bit.

But maybe if you're hanging out with old friends, maybe try to do something a little bit different. Maybe go for a walk. Maybe go get a coffee. Maybe hang out with people in the morning instead of maybe hanging out with people at night. I just try to change up the activities. And then if, you know, these people are close to you and they still want to keep a relationship going, then it should be okay. But it is definitely a struggle, right?

You want to kind of keep those people around that you're comfortable with that you know. But maybe changing up the routine might help. Like going out and doing the exact same stuff, I was doing before. I probably wouldn't be in recovery and be sober if I was still doing the same stuff. So I had to change up my routines too, not going to the bar every day, changing things up at first until I sort of had a foundation that was solid. Yeah, absolutely.

And if you know a particular group of friends or even one friend in particular is not going to be supportive of you on this journey, then definitely just don't go. You know, you don't have to go to everything that you're invited to. You're allowed to say, no thanks and stay home and do your own thing or go out with other people who are going to be supportive and just stick with stick with them. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, you say no and you just do your own thing. Somebody mentioned too about navigating their first alcohol free summer. What was that like for you, your first summer where it's just beautiful out?

How'd you do it? To be honest, it might be kind of boring for you guys. But that first summer, I didn't do a lot. I really didn't. I really was focused on myself and my journey and I was out walking every day, probably twice a day, especially if I was still having cravings. I would put my sneakers on, go outside. I didn't go to a lot of parties or things that involved alcohol. And I was okay with that because I kept just saying, like, I want to get to where I want to go.

I want to get there. So that's just going to hold me up. And, you know, I feel like I always say, like, it's okay. to lay low while you're getting your shit together because it's going to be worth it and you're going to be glad you did it. If you keep just putting yourself back into these vulnerable situations when you're not ready, then you know, you might not get to where you want to be. So it's temporary. You know, my second year of sobriety in summer, I had tons of fun and I was able to put myself into situations like that and feel okay. So I just, if you're early on, it's okay. Find like somebody

who you know that doesn't drink and just really, like stick with them for the summer and make, make different plans. Think outside the box, you know. I felt like I was always doing stuff, but I realized I wasn't. I was just like sitting around drinking. Even if it was with girlfriends, I wasn't experiencing life. So now I definitely like, I'll look up like events or live music or just try totally new things. And it's fun. You can really get creative. It does not have to be boring or isolating. And then In fact, yeah, you definitely don't want to isolate. So keep busy, but be intentional about what you are going to be doing.

Yeah, I love that. It is actually, I mean, that is, I think, what a lot of people need to do, right, is you got to spend some time with yourself because we spent so much time, like, neglecting our own needs. And then we get sober and you got to find a way to build up your confidence and build up your self-esteem and start really, like, learning who you are again. That's what I found anyway. I had to figure out who I was because substances just became my identity, probably the entire thing.

Like that's what I, that's what it was all about. Yeah, getting sober, you have to figure out who you are again. And there's no better way to do it than spend some time with yourself as uncomfortable and as lonely as it may be. I think you got to, you got to do that and figure out who you are and what you want, what you want to get in life and set some goals for yourself. So beautiful. Thank you, Megan. Another one is, now this is going to be, this is going to be for a lot of people. I think this one's going to hit home, right?

Say you have to go to an event. You have to attend this wedding or you have to. I mean, you don't ever necessarily have to. But I feel like sometimes we feel like we have to. And we do want to show up for it. But how do you navigate social events where alcohol is the theme, right? It could be weddings. It could be these barbecues.

It could be many different things. Yeah, that's a great question. I definitely would say before you even go, decide that you're not going to drink. When we kind of leave that door open and we don't really, you know, when you leave one foot in like maybe I will and the other foot, maybe I won't, you have to go all in. You got to commit to yourself. You got to look in the mirror and be like, I'm going to go to this thing and I'm not going to drink and I'm going to have a great time and I'm going to feel good the next day. So before you even go, just make that commitment to yourself. That way you're not, you know, on the fence. or, you know, easily persuaded to be like, just, you know, just have one. So I feel like starting there and then pack yourself, you know, if it's like a cookout or, you know, depending what it may be, but pack yourself the coolest cooler of your favorite

alcohol-free drinks and pack more than what you think you need, you know, don't just put like two or three in there. Put like 10 because you're probably going to want to drink a lot and always just have something in your hand and splurge on it, you know, like don't just get the basics. one, maybe get something a little bit more fun. And if, you know, any beers or drinks, like, are your thing, you know, if that's okay for you and doesn't trigger you to want the real thing, then go for that, especially if it's, you know, a special occasion that you're heading out for. So I definitely feel like that. And then always have a drink in your hand. Like, as soon as you

are walking in, try to, like, have the drink ready to go so that if someone does come up to you and says, like, hey, can I get you a drink? You can just hold it up and be like, thanks, I already got one, you know, and you don't even have to tell them what it is. You can put it in a cup that you, you know, a refillable thing and they don't, they don't know what it is if you're not ready to like be open about your sobriety because sometimes, you know, people just aren't there yet and that's okay. And another tip would be just like eat before you go. Sometimes we think we are having a craving, but we're really just hungry or thirsty. So a lot of times you wouldn't eat before you go to a, you know, a birthday party or something like that. at, but this time I definitely would eat. I would eat something and I feel like that should help you out a little bit. So I don't know, those are some things that I feel like helped me a little bit in the beginning. So hopefully that'll help you guys too.

Yeah, those are incredible, Megan. I don't know if there's any more left there to list. I mean, I think if you can have somebody at the party to be an accountability partner of some sort, if there's another sober person out there or there's somebody else who's just not going all the way in that you can, you know, check in and talk to. If that's not available, then you should have somebody that you can reach on your phone. You know, I think somebody you can text or message. You can check in with every half an hour.

And if everything goes great, everything goes great. But at least you've checked in with somebody. And then if something's not going well, then you can share that instead of just like keeping it all into yourself. It can be heavy, right, for those events, right? People are kind of flopping around and it'll bring up a lot of memories too. And I mean, always play the tape forward. an incredible tool. Play the tape forward to what the next day looks like, right? You're going to get

up. You're going to be rocking and rolling. You're going to get the house cleaned up. You're going to have that coffee that hits a bit different. You're going to feel proud of yourself. You're going to feel all this incredible stuff, you know, early on in your journey. And even later in your journey, you're just going to be really proud of yourself. And for me, coming into recovery, there wasn't many moments where I was actually proud of myself. So to get that, that was incredible to be like you, you did something hard. you worked through it like be proud of yourself enjoy it for a bit and on to the next one so that was like really good and I feel like every time we do it we build that muscle up right we build that muscle up to where we're more confident and we're more comfortable but at first it's going to be

it's going to be so uncomfortable it was for me it was so uncomfortable set yourself a time or two if you're going to go to this event if you're going to go for commit for two hours you commit for two hours and at two hours, no matter what, you're out of there so that you don't feel like you have to linger and hang on all night. That's not really the life you're going to be living in recovery for the most part. I don't think you're not going to be closing down bars. You're not going to be doing that sort of stuff. You need to get home. You need to get some good rest. So do that. And if you are comfortable talking with people, then you know, share with people what you want to share. I think when it comes to all this stuff, and I know everybody has to,

their own journeys there, Megan, but I think the faster we can get to our truth. And for me, my truth is that I just can't drink alcohol for many, many different reasons. But I just don't have a good quality of life when I do. That kind of wraps everything up. I just can't be the person I want to be. And I think the sooner we get to that, that we're going to be better off. And everybody's going to kind of be on their own journey. but the only reason I say that is because I wore so many masks in life.

I wore all these masks and I felt like at the beginning of my journey, when I was tiptoned around the idea of where my life was headed, like I felt like I was still not being true to myself. And that was like a big problem for my addiction. As I just wasn't being true to myself, I was just wearing all these masks to just fit in and for people to like me and to be accepted and to be one of the boys that was so important. I mean, I would sacrifice my own well-being day in and day out just to be part of something.

So however that looks for you, that's cool. I'm not saying you go and, you know, get on the stage at the front of this event and tell everybody that you don't drink. But I think to do that, and then I'm going to let you share here, Megan, but I think to follow up with that is that I had to really understand that not everybody was where I was at with things with my life falling apart yet. I say yet there because for a lot of people, they will, they could potentially eventually get there. But this thing's progressive.

It takes time. You hear all the stories 10, 20, 30 years. And I had to really understand that that other people can enjoy this and their life moves on. For me, that's not the case. I don't feel good about it. I don't feel good when that's what I'm doing. So I just had to really understand, you know what? things are a little bit different for me and that's okay yeah i love that and i love how you i was just

about to say that too to play the tape forward i mean we all hear that but it really is such a great tool especially in these situations and i do that still to this day i really do but i'll just like sit in my mind and what would it look like if i have one you know if i have one i'll have many more it never ended at one and i'll you know i'll think of my worst hangover ever and i'll just be like that's where I'm going to end up if I do this right now. And so to this day, like playing the tape forward definitely still helps me. But I also want you to like feel confident in this decision. I know there is so much shame that comes with it and I felt it for a long time. But it is, it is so amazing that you've recognized that this was a problem in your life and that you're

doing something about it. Most people want to drink less or actually not at all. They're just not willing to do the work and you are. So be proud of it. Don't, you know, try to just let that shame go. And another thing to help you out would be to if someone asks you, oh, well, why aren't you drinking? You know, have what you're going to say. And you can just say something simple as I just, I don't like the way it makes me feel. So I'm not drinking today. You know, you could make up something like I have something tomorrow morning. If you're not ready to, you know, if this person doesn't really mean anything to you or you know you're just not ready to get into the deep topic of it. Yeah, you just say, I just feel better when I don't, when I don't drink.

And which is the truth. It really is. So I think that that's like a great tool that I use as well. So just definitely go into it and feel proud and confident because what you're doing is absolutely amazing. Yeah, that's powerful. Be proud of yourself too for getting through the these events and these things. And then I mean, the overall thing.

too is if you're not comfortable with everything like Megan mentioned before, you can skip this stuff. I mean, do you want to necessarily skip this stuff forever? I mean, I don't. I personally don't. The reason I started down this journey was so I could have a life because I wasn't living before. I was, you know, merely existing. So for me, it's important to really, you know, be involved with stuff. But things do change. That brings me over to the next question we have here, Megan, do you still have cravings? Hmm. You know, I don't know if I'd say cravings, but maybe moments where it comes in, they become

less and less, you know, at almost two and a half years sober now, they, they definitely, they're different than what they used to be. They're not triggered so much actually by stress, which was a huge reason why I drank was stress and loneliness and all those things. Like I'm able to just, you know, power through those moments and use different tools that I've picked up over the, you know, over the years. So, but when I do have a craving, I know that I need to move. I know sitting here is not going to make it better. So I'll try to like get outside, try to listen to something positive, whether it is a sober podcast or just something that's going to lift me up.

And so, yeah, I don't want to say like I never, ever have cravings. They're just different, you know. They're not where those so strong where your body's like creepy, creepy, crawly. And you're like, oh, my gosh, I'm not going to, I need to do this. I'd say for the most part, I don't have those as much. And a big part of it is like a mindset thing as well, you know, which I feel like I've really gotten good at that. And I don't want to go back to where I was. And that keeps me moving forward a lot is that I think back to where I was and how I felt.

and that's usually strong enough to help me to not, you know, to not break down and have a drink. Yeah, I love that. It's tricky. What about you? What about you, Brad? Do you ever have cravings? Yeah, I'll touch on that. I want to just mention, mention some way you said there.

It's tricky, though, because even though we have that experience to where we've, we've hit kind of, just for lack of better terms, a bottom of some sort, right? We've kind of, things have kind of fallen apart. We're not feeling good about ourselves. And even though so many of us get there, the amnesia is so real. You know, we'll talk with people, right? Over the years, I've talked to probably thousands of people. Thousands of people whose life was unmanageable in one way or another.

They wanted to quit. They struggled to quit. And you'd hear the story on the day after the big blowout, right? big blowout. This consequences galore. Everything was falling apart, the marriage, the house, the job, the impaired driving, the relationship with the children, the relationship with themselves. I mean, it's clear as day looking at it that you're in trouble.

And then you follow up with him a couple days later. And it's like, that's, it's all gone. You don't remember it. And I was once in that spot too where I would get arrested and I would commit to myself, you know, I was going to stop and I was going to slow down and I was going to do this and I was going to do that. And then, yeah, it was like a couple days later, I would forget about all of it and just get back at it.

You know, so I think that's something that sounds like you keep that pretty close, which I think is incredible. You keep that close and remember those times. don't let yourself forget about it. And I'm the same way. I never want to forget what it was like those last couple months where it was like I had one foot in this world and one foot in another world. It was scary.

So like I think that's a really good tool to keep fresh. You know, so I put a post out on Instagram the other day. Some people close the door on the past and move on from it. And there's no like, I'm not telling anybody like there's a way to do it is what kind of works for me and hearing from Megan. The cravings part's interesting, right? Because I don't necessarily crave substances. And I was doing everything under the sun.

What I do crave at times is the escape. So I was using substances to get outside of myself. So I didn't have to feel anything, right? I didn't, in my whole life, I never felt good enough. So when I used substances, drinking, drugs, whatever it was, the voices turned off. And I felt like I could be, I could accept myself and I could deal with it. with myself, I guess. But definitely crave the escape.

When things get stressful, I mean, when life gets hard, you know, I just don't want to deal with any deal with it. I'm just like, forget about it. I don't want to deal with anything. But you have to. That's how you grow. I mean, you sit with it and you process it and you go through it and you come out the other side a little bit stronger.

Like, I mean, when I say a little bit, I mean, like a little bit, like a strand of hair. But every time you can build on that, you can show. yourself that you can do stuff. And I mean, I just know that substances will, will change things temporarily. But I know when it, when, when, when it wears off, there I am. It's not going to fix problems. It just sort of prolongs them. And when I got sober, I had such a mess to clean up. Like, I had such a mess to clean up. I don't think I got it in me to clean up another mess. So, yeah, I mean, that's sort of it. And, you know, for all the stuff that comes, you know, I mean, you communicate with people.

When this stuff comes up, you got to share it with people. You don't just keep rolling in. You don't just be a tough guy. You talk with people. You share with people that you trust that can help you. And what helps me the most, Megan, is just when somebody just listens. I don't necessarily need answers from people for what's going on, but I just need somebody to say, like, yeah, you know what? like it's hard.

I've been there. I hear you. And I'm like, the weight's just lifted off my shirt. But I have to get vulnerable to share with people. And that's a whole other podcast. But yeah, so there's a long answer to you short question, Megan. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's funny you say that, that sometimes you just need to talk about it. It needs someone to listen. And I just finished my professional recovery coaching certification. And that was something that she shared right away was that the client should be doing 75% of the talking and the coach should be doing the rest. So we really, you know, as a coach, shouldn't be doing the talking. It should be the client that's talking through their problems and finding their own answers and solutions to what they have going on and, you know, not giving them

all the answers that they just, you know, if they keep talking, they'll eventually, you know, figure things out. So that made me think of that. But also when you were talking, made me think of people. And a few things here. One, you might realize, that people you were hanging with, that you thought there was so much fun and that they were so great, but you realize once you stop drinking and you get sober and you have this clear mind, that they're actually not that interesting anymore. And that's okay, that maybe you don't want to hang out with them anymore and that you're moving on to different things. It doesn't mean they're bad. It just means you need more. You need more of like a stimulation and more of a real deep

friendship or relationship. And so I, I've definitely realized that. And then surround yourself with just good people that are trying, look around, like who in your life is trying to, like, better themselves. And none of us are perfect. But, you know, you want to gravitate towards those people, somebody maybe that you look up to. Even if you don't know them and they're somebody, you know, off social media, that's what I did. I had followed a girl for a long time who didn't drink.

And she would always talk about it, how proud she was and how much her life changed. And I just kept watching, watching, taking it all in. And eventually I was able to slowly start, you know, implementing some of those things. So it really matters who you are surrounding yourselves with. And at the end of the day, my phone rings a lot less, I would say. I don't have as many acquaintances and I don't get invited to as much as I used to. But I have very solid people in my life that, you know, I can count on and that support me in what I'm doing, you know, would never want to offer me a drink or question what I'm doing.

So it really does make a huge difference. So just be mindful of that. And you might need to clean house a little bit when it comes to that. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. And there's always that quote that goes around in the success or the business world, right?

Like show me your five closest relationships. I'll show you your future type thing. And a lot of people say, too, like if we just want to look, if you hang out with five successful people, you'll be the sixth. If you hang out with five people who are drinking alcohol every day, you'll be the six. Not, I mean, this probably isn't guaranteed, but you can really look at your relationships around you and kind of explore that thing, right? Because there's a lot there.

There's a lot there to look at about, like, is this going to work out for you? Who are you hanging out? Who are you spending your time from? where are you getting your information from? How are you feeling like, do these people bring you up or do they bring you down? Like that is a huge thing. And I always dropped this, Megan. I know he dropped this so many times, but the four quarters is better than 100 pennies.

Right? I'm just- I use that all the time. I love it. I love it. Am I considered one of the your good friends here virtually? Heck yeah. Heck, yeah, for sure.

I mean, yeah. I mean, you've been just connecting with you. and getting inspiration and just and having somebody to, you know, to chit chat with. But yeah, I would say, yeah, you're one of my four quarters for sure. I use that all the time, even like with my kids. I'm like, you know, when it comes to friends, four quarters is better than 100 pennies. And they'll just be like, what?

I think we could solve a lot of the problems we have in life if we understood that at a young age because we want acceptance, I think as humans, right? But if we can go about, you know, not, I always struggle with. with just trying to get everybody's acceptance in the mass and trying to be everybody's buddy, buddy. And at the end of the day, I was, I didn't know this at the time, but I was just completely exhausted from just trying to please everybody.

And it came at such a cost personally. But that's probably a whole other show, Megan. Just going to say that, Brad. I know. We could sit in chat forever. Could I mention one last thing, Punta Conner Retreat? This kind of has to do with summer.

Yeah, let's get it. Yeah. So this is to all the ladies out there, all the sober women, sober ladies that are listening. I am hosting a women's alcohol-free retreat in October. So this will, you know, be at the end of the summer. It's an alcohol-free retreat. It's going to be amazing.

And you'll be hanging out with me on a beach. And it's going to be great. So if you're interested, hit me up for Brad and let us know. I'm really excited. I can't go. It's only for women. I know. Maybe someday.

Well, you'll have to do your own. And I'll show you how you. you can have fun. You don't need alcohol. And it'll just be the greatest time of your life. And you won't be hung over at all any of those days. So just wanted to throw that out there. Yeah, that's beautiful.

And I went to my first sort of, I guess you could call it my first with Luke, right? Luke hosted this event in Toronto. And it was like a sober event. Man, I had a blast. I didn't even want to leave. It was really weird.

I was like, I don't even want to leave. Well, I mean, it was good because I had like a two hour drive there and it was nice to just listen to music. and with the three kids and the dog and everything. At the house, it's relatively busy. And this was a nice time for me to just kind of unplug,

listen to some tunes, think a little bit. But yeah, the event was just incredible. And to hang out with people, the thing is about when you meet other people that are sober, alcohol-free, whatever you want to call them, right away, they get you. Like, they understand how hard you work to get where you are. And they also understand the pain and everything that got you to that place.

And it's like this instant mutual respect that I just don't find in other communities. You know, I just don't find it. And it's like whether you're the guy with one day or whether you're curious if your life could be better without drinking, everybody just loves on you. You know what I mean? So it was so cool. So I think, yeah, Megan doing the retreat there and getting together. with other people that are just trying to rock and roll. They're just trying to live their best lives.

And I mean, for most of us, I think we come to the conclusion early on. If we're going to live our best lives, we got to let the booze go. You know, we just have to let, we have to let the booze go. And I saw a video recently of a guy. He was drinking like one drink a night. And he did a video and he said, oh, I got to try this out. other people inspired him with their stories that their lives were getting better. And he wasn't an alcoholic or anything.

But he said, let me cut it out. After 30, 60, 90 days, he felt so much connection with himself. He had no idea that the booze was causing this disconnect. But, yeah, let's see. We've got this last one, Megan will finish up on if that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. How do you talk, how do you talk yourself out of having a drink on a deck on a nice day, right? Cutting your grass is drinking, doing your barbecue is drinking. Just chilling and having

people over on the weekends is, you know, can be associated with that. So how do you, you know, whether it's on a deck, but it's beautiful. You're walking by the patio. Everybody's smiling, ear to ear. They're having something eating. They're having a couple of drinks. How do you keep yourself going on the journey. Well, a couple of quick things I would do is I would pour myself a drink. I would pour myself a nice refreshing drink that doesn't have alcohol in it. I'd put a bunch of ice in it, maybe even put it in a wine glass if I was really feeling festive and just change it up a little bit, whether it is like flavored soda water with like some limes. And so I would have a drink. So I would quench my thirst, if you will. Then I would just, again, fast, play that tape forward.

but picture where I want to go and what would that person make as a decision and would they drink? And the answer would be no. I know personally too and that's the thing we have you have to come to that realization if you haven't yet that you can't just have one. You know, I lived in that place of moderation. Like I can do this. I can just have one. I can control this. And it wasn't until I was like I really can't just have one because I know if I had a bottle of wine sitting there.

and I poured one glass of wine, I will guarantee you, I will finish that entire bottle. There's no having one and being like, all right, cool, and just walking away from it. So there's no such thing as just one for me. So relaxing, and you know, that's the other thing. If I'm stressed and I'm like, I'm going to have a drink because I'm stressed out, when we drink alcohol, we release stress hormones. So I use science and be like, I'm going to be more stressed. So why would I do that?

You know, if my kids are stressing me out, I don't need a drink. I need some moments of myself. to breathe and to decompress. So in a nutshell, hopefully that answers the question. Yeah. No, that's great. And I think too, like this was very real for people. And Stephanie Noble joined the podcast in previous episodes. She shared something that like it blew me away. So I got to give her all the credit here. But recovery lives in your feet. The problem I had when I was stopping and starting, stop it and starting is I was trying to like think my way out of it. And I just wasn't there.

I just wasn't strong in that area. And I was trying to just do my best thinking. Well, if I just, I'll just sit here and I'll think my way. And like, it was a disaster. What she shared there, recovery lives in your feet. What I figured out, I got to get moving. And I got to get to doing something that brings me joy as fast as humanly possible. Whether that be riding my bike, whether that be going for a walk or maybe going fishing or listening to some music.

or connecting with somebody else, I got to get moving. Because if I just sit here, it happened countless times. And I just got eaten alive. And before I knew it, I was on autopilot to Food Lion. And then I would wonder at the end of the night, well, how did this happen? And it's like, oh, well, you know, now I can, I can see that, right? Hindsight's always 20, 20, or at least it should be. And I can see that.

So I would say anybody that's like, hey, you're sitting on the deck. I get it. You want to chill. You worked hard all week. You want to relax. But if you're in that spot where this is going to take you over because it will and you thinking about it ain't going to change anything. They say move a muscle, change your thought, right?

I think that's how it goes, you know, and move your feet and your mind will follow. These are some of the things, right? I had this one guy used to work with at the treatment center and he had wisdom. I mean, beyond belief. I must have just searched on Google all day for these quotes because he always had, he had a quote for every occasion. And those were some of them, right? But you got to get moving.

A lot of people go to the gym, you know? I mean, go for a drive too. A lot of people really enjoy that. I mean, I know in the past couple years, gas is kind of gotten a bit expensive, but so is alcohol. But you can go for a drive on a country road and listen to some tunes that you love and just, you know, when you were younger, that you're younger that you. you really connected to. Like,

you got to get moving. Oh, the solution to any of this stuff is get moving. You know, you got to do something. I love that. That is so true because when I think back to the times where I struggled and where I did go and ended up breaking down and having

a drink, I was just sitting here, stewing in it, letting it consume me and consume my whole body and everything. And then once I finally, you know, would be like, all right,

put my sneakers on, I'm going outside. putting on my headphones and I'm just going to walk for just a little bit. That's when things started to move. Things started to happen. So when you sit here stagnant, you just, it's only a matter of time. So yeah, I love that. That's great that Stephanie shared that.

That's good info. Yeah. And the hardest part about it too is it's the last thing you want to do. It's literally when you, when that rains down on you, those cravings that triggers everything. The last thing you want to do. do is like get up and do something but you got to push yourself get accountability partners people who are going to push you and motivate you and inspire you that like you got to just get up and do it you know i made a post too recently about like nobody was coming to save me towards the end of my journey i

understood that is that nobody was coming to save me i had burned all the bridges and everybody was tired of all the excuses and tired of the promises and they were just tired of all the garbage. And that was really when it hit me that, like, if I was going to do this, like, I was literally going to have to do this for like a couple weeks at least before people were going to have any buy-in. And I just put my head down and I just got to work on it. Like, I just got to work. You know, when I didn't want to, I didn't want to. I didn't want to be uncomfortable. I didn't want to do stuff I wasn't used to. But yeah. But I think, this was great. I hope it was helpful for everybody. And if you need more help, you know,

reach out and you're going to have a great summer. Just think about it as one summer. It's not going to be every summer. Just take it in small chunks. You're going to do this summer and you're going to just see what it's like without alcohol. And you're not going to want to do it any other way. So. Yeah. That's the truth. All right, everybody. Hopefully you can find something here that can help you on your journey. And we'll see you on the next episode. Thank you again, Megan. You're incredible as always. Thanks, Brad. Well, I hope you're able to pick up something from this that can maybe help you on your journey, help you have a fun, beautiful summer. If you enjoy a little episode like this, be sure to let me know, send me over an email, Brad at brad t, as in

Thomas MacLeod.com. I'd love to put some more of this stuff together if it's something that anyone's interested in. See on the next one.