Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Sobriety and Second Chances: Don's Journey from Rock Bottom to Redemption

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, Don shares his journey growing up with an alcoholic father to his own struggles with addiction and eventual sobriety. Don recounts the turning moments that led him to realize the depth of his addiction, including his near-death experiences and the kindness of strangers who helped him find his way. He discusses how sobriety opened doors to unexpected opportunities, including a role in a Netflix show and a thriving career in building hot rods. Don's story is a testament to the power of resilience, support systems, and a higher power in creating a new, fulfilled life.  Don on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/donabenante/ 00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome 00:32 Don's Childhood and Early Exposure to Alcohol 02:05 Memories of Don's Father 04:19 The Impact of Don's Father's Death 06:39 Don's Struggle with Alcohol Begins 09:48 Life as an Alcoholic and Career Challenges 12:18 Hitting Rock Bottom and Seeking Help 16:00 The Turning Point: Finding Sobriety 21:52 Rebuilding Life and Embracing Sobriety 29:17 The Struggle with Sobriety 29:38 The Turning Point 30:07 The Battle with Kratom 32:19 Support Systems and Sobriety 34:08 Finding Peace in Sobriety 37:21 Embracing Sobriety as a Superpower 40:17 The Journey to Self-Acceptance 45:25 Career and Sobriety 46:21 The Netflix Opportunity 48:04 Building a New Life 01:00:15 Final Thoughts on Sobriety  

Welcome back to season four of the Super Motivation Podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We're here to show sobriety as possible, one story at a time. Let's go. In this episode of the podcast, Don shares his journey growing up with an alcoholic father to his own struggles with addiction and eventual sobriety. Don recounts the turning moments that led him to realize the depth of his addiction, including his near-depth experiences and the kindness of a stranger who helped him find his way.

He discusses how sobriety opened doors to unexpected opportunities, including a role in a Netflix show and a thriving career in building hot rods. Don's story is a testament to the power of resilience, support systems, and a higher power in finding a new and fulfilled life. And this is Don's story on the Super Motivation podcast. How's it going, everybody, midway through October? I just want to do a little check-in. I think one of the things I wanted to bring to the beginning of this episode was

one of the things that really kept me stuck. One of the things that really kept me stuck was thinking that I was so much different than everybody else. And although I am, I've had my own personal journey and perspective in life and own experiences. When it came to all of this, my goodness, I was no different. and I have a lot of chats with people all the time. You know, how things for them look different. It's not relatable to some of the stories they hear or how other people were, maybe how their parents were.

You know, they're quote, unquote, high-functioning alcoholics, which I do find very interesting. I mean, even if things are going well, you're a business owner, you're excelling in your career, and relationships are great, and all these things in your life, like, they're pretty good. They're not all falling apart. Imagine waking up every day to 110% not at 50 from being hung over or the anxiety or not getting a good night's sleep or wondering what you said or wondering what you did.

Imagine having the weekends that you didn't just drink away but that you may be plugged into some of your goals or spending time with yourself on walks or journaling or reading or really leaning into a family life if that's there for you as well, building relationships with your partners or. husbands or wives or whoever it is. I mean, imagine if you had all of that time back. I mean, be honest with yourself. I mean, I'll be honest with myself. I spent a good amount of time recovering from drinking, thinking about drinking, and then drinking. Good amount of time. There was a year in my life where I drank every day. And that process probably consumed six hours of my day, every day. Imagine if I had a year with six hours to really build something, to create something, to lean in, to connect. Oh my goodness.

I mean, none of us can go back and change time. But if you're in this back and forth thing of you're different than everybody, maybe it's something to have a look at. I sure as heck no it was for me. I sure as heck no it was for me. I think once I admitted I wasn't different, sort of the subconscious went to work on, well, what are you going to do to make changes? And that was worrisome to me.

I didn't really want to make changes at that point. I wish I did, but it took a little bit of pain and discomfort and things really not go on my way at all for me to realize that this was never going to change. My relationship with alcohol with drugs, it was just never going to change. It was never going to get me to where I wanted to be. It was keeping me small, keeping me stuck, and just on that hamster wheel. Another thing I wanted to mention was the idea of moderation. I see a lot of things coming out on the marketplace and different tools about, moderating and how you can do it.

And here's 10 things to do before you go out on a night drinking. For me, I don't really get it. I try to stay open-minded to it, obviously. I imagine it works for some people. I mean, there's big businesses out there built on it. So maybe it makes sense for some. I don't know. I don't really see much of that around me personally.

But I had to get that out of my head. I had to get that out of my head. And that was difficult. because the reality was I wanted all of it to work out. I wanted to let loose. I wanted my insecurities to slide away. I wanted to have a Friday night to look forward to. I wanted to forget about everything from the past.

And alcohol did all of that very well. I wanted to connect with others. Alcohol did that as well. It was awesome at times. But I knew the longer I stuck around, the more I was opening myself up for the other side of things, for things to go terribly wrong, for me to do things and say things that were not really true to my character. And I changed. I became somebody that I wasn't. I became angry. I became frustrated.

I became irritable. I became just worried about my next drink without even really realizing I was worried about my next drink. I didn't just have thoughts go through my head all day about when I can drink, when I can drink, when I can drink. But I knew this. same time every night was usually when I started to drink, crack a beer, tell myself I'm only going to have three because I have to work tomorrow or I have whatever or I just don't want to feel like crap or I want to do something else. And man, nine times out of ten, I would just say one more, just one more, one more. And then it's two, three in the morning. And I just pass out on the couch and wake up the next day and say, oh, I'm not doing that again. And here we go. Do it again.

and maybe some days not even really bad at I. I think if moderation was possible for me, I would have figured it out already. I would have figured it out then. I would have, I really would have figured it out because I tried. I tried switching stuff. I tried switching where I hung out,

who I hung out with, what time I started, whether I ate or not. I mean, just pure insanity. Pure insanity. So if you're out there and you're still trying to figure that out, maybe just give it some further thought. I mean, don't you think that that's pretty fair to say?

if it was going to work out for you, it already would have. Like, I don't know that people that are experiencing consequences and have shame involved and feel guilty about maybe things that went on while drinking. And I don't know if they're considering moderating things. Like, I think people who do moderate things, it's fairly easy for them. It's fairly easy. I think it other things in my life that are difficult for some, but I don't struggle with them, so they're fairly easy to moderate.

When it comes to gambling, I bring that up a lot. I mean, I can go overboard at times, but I can easily moderate it, step away, not feel guilt, not feel shame, not even think about it for eight months at a time. And then I take my grandmother to the casino for her birthday, and my life goes on afterwards. So I think there's a big difference there. For me, anyway, I don't know everybody's unique perspective and story and journey, but just my two cents heading into this week's episode with Don, incredible

episode. And as always, thank you so much for listening. Now let's get into it. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Don with us, Don. How are you? Doing good, my friend. How are you? Yeah, I'm good. I'm glad we got connected. Glad to share your story with everybody here on the podcast. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm new to the whole podcast. I'm going to bear with me. I might get a little nervous, you know? that's okay man i still do even after 200 and 30 something episodes and in a couple years or three years at this coming up in a little bit here in october so it's it's all good what was it like for you growing up oh what is i always go back to that one i actually had like a really

normal childhood i think uh my mom and dad were divorced actually no they were never even really married to be honest with you and my dad was awesome he was like in a biker gang He had long hair, you know, he smelled like cigarettes and whiskey. And then my mom was like an absentee landlord. She's, we're doing better now, but she wasn't there. She was sweet. She was just very young, like 24, 25. And I had split custody.

And as normal as it was, I think I started getting introduced to booze when I was very young. My dad was an alcoholic. He was the sweetest, like the most loving guy in the world. But he was just, you know, losing his license. I looked like every other month. And, you know, going to jail and getting, like, locked up but he was like i didn't get it because he was a sweet character uh so yeah that was

kind of it was pretty normal other than that you know nothing crazy or weird happening but uh lots of time just split between the two one who's not really there one who wanted to be there but was always drunk yeah which is so interesting too i mean a lot of people on the podcast who share kind of these you know maybe two or three or five or ten different uh ways they grew up and a lot of people lean into that, you know, things were, things were all right. Things were pretty good, you know, and then it's always interesting how things move forward and we eventually struggle with this too. Any early memories like from growing up that remind you of things in those days?

Yeah, I remember my father, I loved, he was a mechanic. He was a diesel mechanic and he built engines and built cars. He was super talented. And I remember a couple, I just lately these memories started to resurface. Remember he picked me up. We had like dual custody and he would pick me up from a couple of miles away and he would drive. And one day he passed out while he was driving. We were just creeping down a road and he just knotted out and he banged into the back of a woman's car.

And then a woman's car, the girl came out and looked at me. She was like, hey, you got to get in there and get your stuff straight. And then like, you know, like, you pull it together. My dad like was like, oh, I'm sorry. You know, I've been going through it and apologizing to me. And then that was the kind of the downhill, the last few years before he passed with alcoholism. And then from there, it was just, it got like, I don't, I couldn't understand back then how somebody could drink that much and be into it. You know, I thought booze was gross when I was younger.

I told myself that I was going to be sober for my whole life or never drink or whatever or do drugs when I was younger. I just didn't get it. Like, how could somebody be so sweet and loving and then just like not control it? I remember one, one of the hardest ones ever did was when he lost his license, I would call him on the phone to see if he was okay. Because I could actually ride my bike there. It was only a couple miles. And I called him and he was sober. And it's like a 30-mile, it's like a 30-minute bike ride.

When I called him, he was good. And I rode my bike to see him because I just want, I just loved hanging out with him. So I'd ride there. We're going to do a project together. Everything was fun. Within 30 to 35 minutes, I get there. I unpack the bike. I walk inside and he's cross-legged on the floor with his head on the floor, like

said Indian style passed out with a whole bottle of vodka, like gone. So as soon as he got me on the hook that I was coming, he just something internally happened. He just, what? And then, um, Yeah, that was hard. That's when I realized that 15 that something wasn't right. My grandpa came.

My grandpa was sweet. Grandpa picked them up, showered him, fed him coffee. And it's like, he's going to be, his name was Don, too.

He's like, Don, you're going to be okay. We love you. You know? And, yeah, it was scary.

It was like how, I was, I was angry at booze companies back then that they even sold it. You know, the fact that they could even get away with doing this to people. I thought it was their fault. I didn't realize it was an internal thing, you know?

Yeah. Well, at 15, yeah, it's, yeah, I mean, how much do we really know about how all of it kind of playing out too? What was that like for you, though? Because in the notes that I had for the episode two, and you shared there too, your father

passed away to 15. I mean, what was that like for you? Uh, man, it hit me, hit me in different stages. After that happened, it went like from here to like, I don't know internally what was killing him. I have a couple ideas. I think maybe not being able to show up for me. He also had a daughter that I knew about

that he didn't have custody of that she was gone. I think he had some other internal problems. I remember asking him two months before he passed. I was like, do you believe in God? You know, because I went to a private Catholic school back then. He goes, ah, I don't have enough time for that. I was like, well, if you die, I got to make sure you go to heaven. I want to see you again.

And I broke down, you know, because something was happening. And then a couple of days before he passed, same thing I showed up. And I remember, like I said, he had cigarettes in his mouth, and he had this Levi shirt on. And he had, you know, like, he had a bunch of nips kind of hidden. And he was shaking. And he looked at me and he was like, teary.

He's like, I would do anything for you. I'm like, would you just quit? And he couldn't lie to me. And he sat there and just froze. It was like, and he just like, bowed out and just walked away. And that sounds like he's on for the ride. And, yeah, I don't know what deans he was struggling with. And it hurts because I wish I could help.

I wish I knew about it. My dad had died about a month later. He was in the bathroom and he drank himself to death. And he fell and he hit his head. And I remember I was working at Burger King when it happened. And my mom, like, showed up. And she didn't tell me what happened. She said, I have to pull you out of work.

And I get out. And, you know, we've always kind of done this for my dad where he's in jail or something's happened or he's broke down or something or got fired. And I remember my mom just driving me through all the roads that I would ride to on my bike to get to his house. And as soon as she pulled in, the ambulance already left. So we missed the end. Like, we like missed everybody or the corner or whatever it was. And then we just high-tailed it and followed him all the way.

to the hospital in Providence, and then he was laid out when I got there, and I was just like, I was pissed. I was like, I was like angry at him for letting it happen, you know, like, how could you not pull your shit together, you know? But lo and behold, later on, many years later, I know what that feeling is like of getting drawn in, you know, that I can't stop feeling. Yeah. Oh, that's, yeah.

Well, thank you for sharing that. I mean, that's a tough story, I'm sure, to share about and talk about when did you start drinking? I mean, were you still after that with the experience of your dad? You mentioned too angry at, you know, alcohol companies kind of committing and to never drink and stay sober forever. I mean, was it after that shortly that you started drinking or no? No, I lucked out.

I met a couple of friends in my neighborhood and we were all into like punk rock bands. And one of them was straight at show was no sex, no drugs, no alcohol. And I was like, well, I'll do all this, maybe not the sex thing. You know, I was young. I was like 15, 16. So I rode with him for a couple of years. of like being straight edged, no drugs, no booze. And I remember the first day that I drank, that kid that I was sober with, he started

drinking and then he offered it to me and my two friends who never drank. Me and this, both these kids became alcoholics, which is so funny. Me and this kid Orlando, we drank together and me and I'm got into a fight. I was having fun. And it shows you like our whole life path was the same way. Like I was having fun, giddy, doing weird stuff. And the other guy was crying. And I knew exactly at that moment that I was.

different because the other guy would drink some other kids would be drinking with us and he's two new dudes me and him went off the rails like i instantly felt like brad pitt i instantly felt like all my fears my worries away my my my personality turned from like a little like a 16 17 17 year old kid until like i felt a 25 year old man who's a maiden you know like i instantly felt confident and cocky that's why i got into a fight with that kid i was teasing him um yeah so like every time i drank after that it was an instantaneous switch like i would i'm shy i'm interested i'm I'm weird. And then I drank, I was like, oh, my God, here it is.

Like the shells off and I'm back alive, you know, like there is no fear. And it's instantaneous. I mean, like with one drink, I feel like, you know, some superhero-like person. That's why I always got myself in trouble because I felt like I was, I was too cocky, you know, it's wild. But I should have known that moment. Like, here it is. This is a sign to lay off. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I can relate to that to the first time I drank. Yeah. People have heard it on the podcast, I'm sure a million times. But yeah, I just thought to myself, like, man, where has this been my whole life? I mean, all my insecurity slipped away, not feeling good enough, not succeeding here, not being at that level, not having the rest of my life mapped out. You know, the tail end of high school where I feel like all my peers or whatever, you know, I mean, they're like, yeah, going to school and everything. And I want to do this.

And there I was. I had no idea what I wanted to do just got in a ton of trouble. And it sort of became my way, I think, in the long run. of fitting in. It wasn't sports. It wasn't academics for me. It was a party. Let's see how much trouble we can get into. And it just kind of became my lane. And it's really interesting, too, with your earlier experience, how it happened so quickly, you know, kind of thereafter, right, before you even leave high school, of plugging in. And then you have that experience, too, which it's like, man, it always, it's always so interesting to me how it just takes off

like that, that where we get that different sort of feeling from it, because a lot of other people I hung out with, too. I mean, they were take it or leave it. It wasn't all in. How is school and everything for you? You mentioned a Catholic school. How was that? I did good.

I did good with that. I did good with, like, I was pretty normal, I think, all the way up until 24, 25. Yeah, I was just like a normal dude. You know, I was broing it up. I was kind of just not really. getting too much. I got my first DUI at 23, but I was just like, I live in a small town. I chucked it up to that, but I was ripped. I started getting into fights. I started turning to a tough guy around 24, 25-ish, and then at 24 I lost my grandpa. My grandpa was the guy who took over

from my dad. He, I'm telling you, if he was a saint. I'm the most patient, loving, kind guy ever met, and all he wanted to do was love me. And I knew it. I knew when he got sick, I was driving home one night. I'm like, when he dies, I'm going off the rails. Like, I mentally checked out. I was like, either it was an excuse or it was just a pain because it was like another person. Like, I never dealt with death so much. You know, I lost like two grandmas and a bunch of other stuff. Normal stuff. But for me, my grandpa was like the last nail on the coffin. And lo and behold, when that stuff started happening, I started like, you know, started doing a little drugging. You know, I started drugging and booze it. And I chalked it up to like, well, I'm just a funny guy.

Like, I'm a cool dude. But internally, I, it was physically melting down. And I started it was the first time my drinking career where internally I felt like I was eating myself up skin wise like I didn't like who I was I didn't like what I was doing I started doing weird stuff back then I started lying It was like just like just like going from his wholesome dude to like and then when he died Oh yeah the afterburners were on and the freight train was kicking in and that's when I started to really do some crazy stuff like You know just blacking out I started like finding like 24 25 and I'm going to like the same bars to the same people and doing the same thing. That's when I started focusing on like just all the bad stuff.

Like I had to find love and get drunk. That was my life for the longest time. I was going to find love. It was going to fix my problem. You know, I had a great career, so I thought the career was going to save me. But I just kept on going. Yeah. And then, yeah, I kept on that path.

I got another DUI, gotten some serious trouble, started losing jobs. I kept, I was going to keep it. quiet. I kept like, I got to lose, do this, do that, do that. And then I was losing my soul. And then finally, I went down to Florida for a job and I lost it. I got a little too heavy on it. Like a week being down there, they got me down there. And I did it. And they're like, you got a problem. And there's a lot in the middle of it. But I remember the first time I ever thought that I really had a problem was, I was in Florida. And I met my first sober friend. And I told him what I was doing. He's like, hey, I don't know if you know this, but you might be an alcoholic. And I was like, no. There's no. There's no. no way because internally I think if I had to admit that I was an alcoholic that I had to die like my dad and that was the script that I had in my head for all the way up until I was 28, 29 that if I admit that I'm an alcoholic, I have to go out like him and it's scared the living bejesuses out of me. And then that's when like I think the real alcoholism kicked in because my trigger was death. This sounds crazy or weird, but I didn't know how death was going

to come and I was nervous about it. I didn't have faith then. So like for me, I'd be driving my truck doing something, going to a job or something, and then I would be like, when am I going to die? How am I going to die? When's it going to happen? Where do I go? Like the whole Western culture kind of deal of death. And the only way to solve it was taking a couple nips and then boom, I don't care. I could die now. I'm cool, man. You know, it was like this instant swing and I was combatant it with, yeah, with the booze. And then, yeah, after that, after 28, I think things went way downhill. I was, my whole life was I lived as an engineer on private yachts. So I was in the Caribbean living in islands where you could be an alcoholic and nobody cares.

Like drinking during the day, drinking at night, going out, doing drugs, like nobody cares as long as you work. And I was in that and I was like, this is like my life. I'm a pirate, you know. I'm a cool guy doing cool things, but that was not cool at all. And I wasn't a cool dude. I was like a ruckus. I was barely getting through with work, barely, you know, making the money, thinking

that I was making it. But I was losing my soul. And every day was like for years. I felt, I tell you what, I don't know, I haven't seen hell, but I can tell you what it feels like, you know, just being empty and crawling in your skin everywhere you go, not be able to look anybody in the eyes and trying to fix it with just drinking. Yeah. What did you do for work in Florida when you went down there? Same thing. I worked on yachts.

I was bouncing around on boats and I was getting to the point where I had a really good name for myself. And then towards the tail end of it, I did a couple jobs in St. Thomas and St. Martin. And those were like my Achilles heel. That's beautiful. It's this place that doesn't make any sense. You know, it's like this huge culture of people. It's beautiful. There's tons of money.

You can be drunk all day. So I'd go down there and I would binge and I'll get close to death and like get fired. So those two boats that had to let me go. And I was like, all right, well, maybe this is something where I'm starting to notice I have a problem. And I kept them denied it for years. I started to hang around maybe with a couple people from AA. I started to see it. I actually went into my first meeting when I was younger.

And I was like, no, the same for me. A bunch of guys smoking cigarettes. You know, it was like, it was just, it was hellish. It didn't make any sense. And long story short, I started getting progressively worse and worse and worse. And then I remember, I remember my last relapse. I started getting relapses like, like big ones. Like I would bend for four or five days and then clear out for a month.

And then that led to like me going into a psychiatrist, but hey, I think something's wrong with me. Like I need help. And then like, oh, yeah, here's medication. Here's like some serotonin stuff. And not telling them that I was doing drugs and I was and I was drinking. So they'll load me up with psych meds. And now I'm doing cratom and now I'm drinking. And now I'm doing drugs when I've been St. Thomas and my brain.

Oh, my. Holy moly. Even thinking about it gives me like the shivers of the stuff that I was like legit making stuff just to get me up and down through the day. Uppers, downers, this booze. And then I remember, I remember my last, my last one, which was the scariest one. That's when I realized that I was no longer an alcoholic, that I was like a death drinker.

Because the last few of them put me in the hospital within like two or three. The time was getting quicker. You know, like every time I have a relapse, it was like, okay, I had a month. I had a relapse and I was out for a week. And that was like, all right, now I'm out for like two days. I'm in the hospital. I'm out for a day. So it was, it was exploding quick.

I had a month sober. I went out on a boat. I was on a boat that I didn't want to be on doing it for the wrong reasons for the money. and I told them that I wasn't going to drink and I was a rock star for a whole month and all they wanted to do is every day they asked me do you want a beer and I was knuckling grinding I had no support system

I didn't have any faith I had no sober friends so I was out there just doing it knowing that I was gonna die so every day I was like hey I can't drink I can't drink I can't drink I can't drink and I did it for like almost a month and then all it took was I looked at my phone

and my best friend died my buddy Carlo and I started crying on the Aft deck and the captain came up to me and he goes hey I think you deserve that beer I said, hey, you know what? I think I think it's okay. Let's do it.

And at that point, I well, hardly knew exactly who I was, what I was doing, how dark it gets, and how fast it happens, knowing that within a couple of days I'd be in a hospital or in a ditch. I drank a beer. We immediately went downstairs, drank a whole bottle of vodka. I went out for a walk. I went on a bender for the whole night in St. Thomas. I came back. I had that next day off.

I did it again. And at this point, I'm like, well, the wheels are off. So I'm either going to fire me or I'm going to have to leave. and the next day on Sunday the girl that I was with I was dating was on the boat she's like hey you got to pick it together you get to put it together you know and they liked me so much they were kind of watching me go through it then Sunday I drank all day I came back and I said hey I need Monday off they're like cool dude you got to do you've been doing great took Monday off I went nuts at this point the wheels are off I'm loaded up and I'm bouncing around the island doing drugs and drinking I can't stop and I was sitting on the beach at two in the morning that like Monday night and I was like I ain't working I can't do this like I got to go. I started having the ideas like how we're going to set ourselves up because this is going to end badly. Then I went back to the boat. I told them the truth.

I was like, hey, I'm an alcoholic. I can't stop. They're like, well, get us through this charter and we'll just let you drink. And I got a free pass to drink on the boat. Like in front of them, I didn't have to hide it. They're like, don't do any drugs. Just drink and get through the job. And then we'll buy you a ticket.

We'll give you a bonus and you get out and heal yourself up. So they gave me a free pass. It lasts for four days. And I drank myself to oblivion where I broke down for the four days. I was like, you guys have to send me to the airport tomorrow or I'm going to die on this island. And they understood they were cool. They bought me a ticket. This is how crazy.

I'm so lucky I didn't die. They sent me to the airport. I got to the airport. And as I went through the airport gate, a guy handed me a beer and I drank it. I turned around. I said, you know, I'm not ready to leave. I was in paradise. So I got a taxi to a hotel across the street where the boat was.

I was that close to getting sober. And I turned right back. I went to the hotel. And all I know is, again, like the hell feeling, like everything was great for a couple days. I was in a hotel partying away. I had a bunch of money saved. And I felt like a box that was this big was getting closer and closer. I was going out, talking to people.

The next thing you know, I'm stuck in my room. I can't go out. The next thing you know, my room's getting smaller. And I don't know, I have a TV. The next thing you know, the TV's off and I can't leave the bed. And I'm hiring taxi drivers to like bring me booze. And that was the moment. I'm like, all right, this is it.

I accepted it. I was like, I'm ready to go. Like, if this is how it's going to be. because I can't do anything about it and I can't stop. I was in there for a whole week drinking. And then talk about God. He talked about God. This was the first time I think I ever met or talked to God.

The bellboy, the guy who ran the place was this big tall Jamaican guy, 6-2, Rasta with dreads. He comes knocking on the door. It looks like a guy that would kill you. He knocks that door and goes, hey, man, I hope you're okay in there. And I'm like, no. He's like, can I come in? And he came in and it was a whole week's worth of damage, right?

So I'm all beer cans everywhere. best, not eating food, shaking, drinking water from the sink, trying to do that. And he comes in, he sits down next to me. And I'm on the bed and I'm like, I can't stop. He goes, oh, I know. I've seen what you've been doing. Do you want help? And I'm like, yeah, I can't.

I broke down. I started crying. He hugged me. He hugged me. Yeah. He gave me a big old hug and he's like, I got you. And he sat with me for like a day. He sat with me and he took off the job and he got somebody else to come from him.

He sat with me and he fed me beers just to get me through it. Apparently he was an alcoholic and he knew that I could just stop. So he would like joke with me and he's like, you know, I tried to, I had to get ready to get out of there. So he got me a plane ticket. And he brought like a six pack. He's like, I'm going to give you one every hour, you know. And there's no other hanky. Panky, we got to get you home and we got to get you safe.

So he did research, talk to some of the friends that I kind of knew in AA. And he sat with me and just like, here's one. And, you know, and I would chug it. And he goes, easy. And then he would watch me. If I started getting a little weird, he'd like, he just. coached me, he cleaned me up, he packed all my bags, he drove me to the airport, and he waited. And then he got me in there, and he talked to the, he talked to the security guard.

They got me in, and then they just kind of held on to me and just kept me there safe. Wow. Was it just you in the hotel? Just you and him at the end? Yeah, yeah. And then he got me to, like, you got me to the airport and then some sweet security guard, like, held on to me and hugged me until I got on the plane. Then they told the plane and they got me to Florida. They just coached me the whole time.

And then I went to a halfway house in Florida. That's where I started. And when was this? Golly. That's a rough one. Man, it's coming up on five years. I went to the halfway house and it gets worse. I went to the halfway house and they all took me in and I was coming off like, you know,

a month of drinking and God knows. what else I was doing and it didn't end there. I went to there and I I left that night. I got there late and I was rough. I was like, you know, I was a full-blown month. I never did so much drinking and whatever else I was doing for that long. So I got to the halfway house and I was ruined. I mean, I was like ripping out of my skin and the guy's like, hey, you know, there's like two rules. I know you're going through it, but you can't drink on the property and you got to be for the meeting in the morning. I'm like, oh my God, I don't know. Last thing I want to do is go to an A meeting. and I was so lucky

my friend that I met a long time ago he got into it he was young at the time he was like 27 he got me into this halfway I thought I failed a life like that my life was over I was in a place but the place was on the beach in in in I forgot I was right in the beach in Hollywood Florida so it's like

the waves and the crash it was beautiful and it was affordable I could be there for a bit and I hated it and I got there so the first thing I did was I took off that night and I found a liquor store and I drank like six bottles of wine and I stumbled in and I woke up for the meeting all happy and he's like dude like if you're going to be here you can't do that I was like okay you know I'm ready and I wasn't ready for days like you know snuck beers in and snuck stuff and it keep me going and I don't know what

happened it was a couple days into it that I says all right I'm going to do this I'm going to come off everything if I come off the booze I'm going to come off all my psych meds because I don't know who I am as a person I got diagnosed it you know for the serotonin one when I was just drinking and all and using all this stuff. So I was going to come off everything. So I came off everything. Two or three days into it. It was a little foggy.

I come off everything. And I sat in that room for like a week just shaking like a leaf, taking showers, sleeping, crying. And then, yeah, six or seven days into it. I went for my first walk. And it was my sobriety journey started with me walking down to the beach, saying Fitt, going back, falling asleep. Walking to the beach, taking a right, taking a little bit more of a journey down the beach, coming back, saying Fett. Then finally, after a week of that, I went to some of my first meetings that were outside of the place.

I met my first sponsor who was this guy who made jewelry who picked me up and I just cried and talked to him about how much I failed. I had to call the boat like two weeks into it and I was really nervous about money and I was like asking for my job back and the captain was like just get sober dude. Like we love you. Just take a break from life. And then I don't know how it all happened, but a month and do it, I stayed sober. I bared through it. and then I got my first job on land in years working for a hot rod shop building hot rods and I walked in they're all skittish I don't know how I got the job was all God

I built hot rods you know and he's like all right what do you can you do and you can tell I'm weird man like I'm like I'm like a month into coming off my sight my eyes are all squarely my hair's all messed up I'm like I'm not the guy that I used to be right and they're like you're right I'm like yeah I'm cool man like I've just got too much coffee today and they give me they give me the job I had no car I borrowed one of the guys of the halfway house's car to get there a Mustang so I look cool and I would lie for the first few months of why I didn't have a car and I was like I just moved down here I think they knew but they they saw some good in me but they're also probably scared a couple months go into it and then I changed

halfway from where it was to closer I was driving an hour and I bought a Pontiac Firebird an old school Pontiac Firebird oh this is the car I was telling you about and they're like dude I used sober I'm like yeah I just got sober and that was the first time I was open about it I was like oh geez I'm get fired, you know, because only had a couple months. Long story short, I worked for those guys. I started building hot rods, and like a couple of amazing things happened. I met my first group in sobriety. They were all kids my age.

They follow your podcast. They were all, if you guys watched this too, you know who you are. There were these two women and two guys who took me under their wing. And man, I'm telling you, my self-doubt and my self-belief system was so messed up back then. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do this. I wasn't worthy.

It wasn't worthy to be loved. all my head was down the drain with who I was and what I could do for I was embarrassed and these people would talk to me frankly big shut the F up you're brilliant you're smart you can do all this just give yourself some time to kind of clean up so I would hang out with them I would go to meetings I would go to retreats I would start going to the gym I started praying they told me I needed to pray to my higher power and I was like I don't know who that is you know I always thought God was like big brother and judged me and then I went to a retreat and this is where the first time I felt a little bit of hope. I went to a retreat and there's his pastor, big old beard,

full sleep tattoos. He's got his beautiful wife. He's like 27 or 20. He's younger than me. He's got three daughters and they're all like, you know, four, two and one. And they're all blonde hair. And I'm looking at him. I'm angry. Like this mother, you got everything. I want that. You know, why do I have that? You know, I was the alcoholic brain ticket. And I go up to him and I swore. And he's like, well, what's going on, man? I was like, yeah, how do you pray to God? Like, where's God? Who's God for you? And he's like, well, how do you picture your perfect father? Oh, I can't. He's dead.

You know, I was like super, super bummed. And he puts his armor on me. He says, listen, boy, can I talk to you frankly? I'm like, yeah. He's like, until you get rid of the hate in your heart, you have to realize that God loves you. Well, how do you pray to him? He's like, well, picture me, your, your father. Like, who does the perfect father that you look like?

I'm like, and I actually let the walls down a little bit. I'm like, oh, my, he would show up on a Harley and you'd have long hair and smell like brute cologne and smoke cigarettes and tell me everything's going to be okay. He's like, pray to that. So it was my journey of starting to pray to this, this, you know, maybe more of my father figure asking him. And like, instead of being embarrassed and praying to this thing, I was like, God, I love you. I can't do this alone. Can you keep me sober?

I can't do this? I'm an idiot. And then I would pray to God for other things. Can you keep me focused? Can you keep me open? Can you help me to stop lying? Can you help me to not want to do cratom? You know, it was just like these things that I started relying more onto my higher power for.

And yeah, I got me through that job. I started building hot rods. It was the first time I ever belonged and I was doing it sober. And yeah, I was, I don't know how long it took, but maybe a year into my sobriety is when I started really opening up telling people other than my close circle. I was an alcoholic. I was praying. I was talking about God. I was meditating.

I was, you know, journaling. I was writing gratefulists. I did, I did, one of my sober friends told me to make a grateful list every night of 15 things. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. It changed my life. It went from being like, I got a roof over my head to like, I'm so grateful that that old woman gave me a hug. You know what I mean? It was like my, it was shifting my focus from the darkness to the light.

And then at some point in my sobriety, I realized that the universe isn't out to hurt us. And it's not some painful thing. It's all internal to me. And the universe just wants me to do good. And it was the whole thing flipped really quick. And it was like I was walking in the dark and now the lights on my face and I can feel it. Yeah. Wow, man.

a ride. You mentioned it too. You mentioned it too a couple times there. The, what do you call it, cradam or cratum, really interests me with, like, that's something you just get from the store, convenience store. Is that like that stuff? It's, yeah. So like I realized in the beginning, so I was, it took me a while to get it all together, right? You know, it took me a long time. There was some times of sobriety way before that and off times. But when I got sober, this Last time I realized that I'm obviously, there's something genetically in me that's different. When I have one, something flips, my focus changes, and all I think about is a party, right? And I also get knocking on that's doorstep really quick.

So the death things made me stop drinking, boom, and it got me through most of it. But the first year in Florida, cratim is everywhere. I don't know what it was. It was just a tea to have these bars. So I kind of got my fix of like, I went in and I tried it. and the same thing happened. Whoa, the pearly gates opened up.

All the fear went away, and it's an opioid. People will say it's something else. It's okay to do if you're not drinking. If you're an alcoholic, man, if you're any kind of an addict, don't touch the stuff

because the stuff pulls you in just as hard, and the withdrawals are way worse than alcohol. It's like booze will kill you. Cratham will just make you, when I came off cratom. So yeah, I got sober. I had some time. And then I was doing cratom in the background.

be like, well, I'm sober from booze. This is fine. And all my sober friends were like, no, you're not sober. You got to change your, you got to change your sober date. And then I hurt. I had to go through the pain of that. And then it took me a while to get off it. It wasn't until my birthday a year later that I got off, cradam.

And that was like a month, again, in the hole of, and being like, I can't touch it. That's, it was the biggest blessing I ever had because I realized I cannot touch anything. Anything that makes me gravitate towards it, it will bring me right back, back at the same place. So I have to just totally sustain. from everywhere there. Yeah. Yeah, that's so interesting, too. I mean, I've known a lot of people talk about it now, probably like more now, I guess, you know, but I always wonder, like, why you get all this stuff just at the, you know, the shops and whatever. But yeah, I didn't know that the withdrawal was worse than that of, you know, alcohol. But yeah, it is interesting. I mean,

I have the same, you know, for me, it's the same thing. Like, I can definitely take anything to another level. Like, I really have to be mindful. I mean, there's some things in my life to where I have to have them food for one thing. I mean, I know that that's very real of people making that switch of like, okay, now it's too much or it's processed foods or it's this or it's that. I even in my life today have to be mindful of not just eating pizza every single night because it changes the way I feel. If I just have a large pizza, I'm like, okay, you know, I feel pretty good for a little bit. I mean, afterwards, but it's something to even be mindful that, you know, that you, yeah, yeah, have to kind of keep things in check too, right? Because one thing can potentially lead us back to

another or just be like a shift or a switch into something else. Throughout this whole thing here, Don, I haven't picked up on if you have any support or have had any support in those early days, if anybody close to you ever saying, hey, maybe you should get some help or even when you decided to get help, like somebody that you could call and get help with, or were these friends kind of it for you. Yeah, I mean, I came out to my mom early, early, early on that I was an alcoholic. And the first time I called, it was a long time ago.

I told her, she's like, oh, I know. You know, my grandpa back in my 20s was like, you drink too much. You got a problem. You know, don't turn out you dead. So there's a lot that I skipped. But it wasn't until, it's not until I really remember where I went to Florida. I've had people say, hey, I think you might have a problem. You might want to look into it.

We were always skimming the surface. I think people had a hard time telling me because I was, you know, When I was put together, I was fun. I was like a sweet dude. And then when I drank, I turned into a ruckus. It wasn't until I met the people in Florida. They embraced me at my, like, I'm telling you, I was at my worst. And they didn't want anything from me.

All they want to do is hug me, bring me to places, you know, and just teach me the ways. And they were poured all their loving to me. They were the ones who were like, hey, you got to get off the crowd. You get it. Oh, no, it's work. And it's doing it. So they kind of took their peace with that. They told me.

But then, you know, I got off it. And I went back to them. And they're like, great. Now we can fully embrace it because you are one of us now. And then, you know, that was, but they were always, always telling me, you got to go to meetings. You got to get back. You got to help others. And they kept on just drilling it, drilling it.

Call up other alcoholics. Talk to other people. Ask other people how they're doing. Get out of your own head. Because in the beginning, it was a nightmare. It was all about me. It was like, what do people think about me? How do people feel about me?

How do I, you know, do something grandiose so I can be seen? It was a, it was a nightmare fuel. It wasn't until a couple years into it that I rode my bike. And I call it the pocket. If I call up other alcoholics and talk to them, if I pray and I really mean it, and if I meditate and I journal at night and I'm grateful for things around me, if I can even just sit down and just feel my bones and just, I call it the pocket.

And I was riding my bike and I looked up in the sky and I prayed to God for like one of the first times. I was like, thank you. I couldn't do this without you. And I am an idiot. So just stay with me. like grab me by my neck and just ride this with me and keep me sober and I felt though the shivers and the sun of my face and that was the first time I felt really connected that after that I'm telling you some some weird stuff happened like just amazing things like I met a hippie

at a meeting not too long after that and a good looking disheveled guy with a big smile on his face and I was still struggling and I was asking him how how are you so happy he goes man I'm just living bud I'm living and I'm sober and he's like if you can live sober for it If you can stay sober until the day you die, you have won. And I was like, no, it's dumb. I want to get car. I want to get rich and I want to, and I want to be famous. And he's like, no, no, no, no.

If you just stay sober until the day you die, you have won the game. And then a couple months later, I was like, wow, that's profound, man, like not want anything else. But long as I stay sober in this life and become a good dude and get back, I have won. And that was like, that's when the weight kind of went, I hope that makes sense. Yeah, it makes a ton of sense. It makes a ton of sense that, I mean, just staying sober for the day. And I think, I mean, I don't know if it's relatable to you, but I've realized, too, you know, my life, that's the most important thing, right? And I've got a family and I've got all these other things going on. But without sobriety, all the other stuff, like, I mean, I'm not a fortune teller by any means, but my guess would be my educated guess is that it pretty quickly falls apart. Um, so I've got to stay sober to keep all this other stuff together. But I've realized over the years, staying sober, opportunities come my way. You know, it might not be riches or fame or, you know, all these other things, but I do notice a lot of blessings, a lot of opportunities come my way.

When I was drinking and doing drugs, I would always think, poor me, look at everybody else. They get all these opportunities and job promotions and this and that. Why doesn't anything ever come my way? And now I know why, because I wouldn't have been ready for it anyway. And other people obviously picked up on that. But I think even just throughout staying sober, things do happen, you know, cool stuff happens when we're paying attention. Yeah, and the biggest thing that I realized about being sober is I used to chase everything for the high. I need to, like, my serotonin levels are all over the place.

I need to do upticks to, like, make myself feel good. I legit, I take so much peace that I can go to a coffee shop, open a book, or open my laptop, and study. And, like, just feeling my hands and, like, feeling and smelling the coffee or smelling and talking to people around me, it gives me, like, the shivers, man. And it's like, I don't know how to describe it, but being present. in the moment for these times of like meeting new people and talking, smelling the trees on a bike ride, that stuff beats any of the crazy stuff I did when I was drunk. And that comes with time from being sober. And I ride for, I look for those days so much now.

And the one thing I did realize is this was a huge shift in my sobriety too, is I thought being an alcoholic made me defective. There was something inertly wrong with me that I would never succeed. And I don't, I can't say who the person was. But I used to do CrossFit, and one of the people that was dominating at the time had a thing where he was like, I was going through some struggles and I had to go to these meetings. And I dove into it and he was, he was one of us. And he was one of the fittest guys in Earth. And I was like, that was the time that I realized, oh, we're not defective.

And I kind of dove into that more. What I realized about being an alcoholic or an addict is we are people who can get super hyperfocused. We have tractor or laser beams that can go like this and we can focus on. That bad. My life sucks. This is bad. And just kind of hone in on it until you explode and you have to douse it with some alcohol to kind of, you know, feather it out. We also have the laser focus to do things, start your podcast, you know, start my own shop. Anything that we want to do long as you're in the pocket and you can focus it, you can do it. I'm telling you it's a superpower. If you focus it in the right, you can, mean you can legit do anything we want. If we focus it in the right direction for the right reasons, we're unstoppable. It's just that we have to. learn how to get back on the beam when we go to the left because we can do it really quick. Oh, today wasn't a good day. Things suck. I hurt my ankle, yada, and it can just go right down that. You just got to be like, nope, everything's cool, man. I'm good. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm going to keep on pushing. So that's what changed it for my sobriety too is realizing that

I'm not doomed. I'm not, you know, not defective by any means. I'm just another guy who's I got my Achilles heel. I got to stay away from it. I got to just leave that alone, you know. Yeah. I'm so glad you brought that forward to because I feel like their relationship. as we we get stuck in that spot that it's never going to be different for us and that this is always going to hang over our head. And it is so true. It is a superpower of of things. I mean, even if I look at all the skills, techniques and things that went into surviving addiction. And you too, you're on the boat. You're going four days. I mean, you're going another four days. You're, I mean, look at all the situations, right, that we have to survive or that we did survive.

And the skills you pick up there, it's kind of like rechanneling those right of how we can move forward. The way we're doing it in the time of sort of the active addiction is not helping our life. But those are things if we can shift them. I feel like we can gain that. But I think a lot of people worry about that. I think a lot of people worry, like, is the damage done with my reputation or my relationships or with myself? And is this something I can actually come back from? So I think it's a beautiful story to share about how this can all be flipped on its head and like we can go on to live really incredible lives and, you know, have a lot of success as well.

I tell you this, man, I from the bottom of my heart when I first got sober, I thought I was the loneliest man. I thought I was the most miserable. I thought nobody could ever love me. I would never have any friends. I was deplorable. I looked at myself as like Jim Morrison without being cool and I was just going to die. You know, like I had that persona. I was just like going to ride the snake until I died.

And then as I got sober and realizing I had this superpower and having all these awesome people pump me up. Like I would say negative stuff and they'd be like, shut up. No, you're cool. You're good. Like go to the gym. Go for a walk. Come back and tell me what you want to do with your life.

Like that was consistent to thing. Like just pushing through. And then at some point I realized nobody cares what I did. If I hurt people, I made amends with them in the program. And I apologized. and that was the hardest part apologizing. And then most of the time I did it, they'd come back and be like,

I'm just glad you're doing good, man. Like, I love you. Like, get better, you would have done right by me. And then I realize that all fades away. And then the coolest thing that happens with getting sober is, back in the day, if we messed up,

we would drink ourselves to death to get over it, right? Or anything that we did with it was wrong. Now, as I'm getting sober, I can look internally and not judge myself. If I get off the beam and I do something weird, if I swore at you, or if I, you know, just saying, it's like if I did something that was out of character,

I can look internally, oh, where'd that come from? Oh, I was scared. I was nervous. Let's not do that again. Let's change it. I love you. Boom.

When you move forward, and you can keep on checking all your character defects at the door and not beat yourself up for it. It's one of the most, that's how I've grown the most of just looking internally and being like, okay, I have some dark stuff in there. Let's look right at it. Let's figure it out.

And when it comes up, just embrace it and just move forward, not have to kick myself in the butt for it. Yeah. Yeah. That was the biggest thing. Yeah. What's that? Sorry, sir. Yeah, that, I mean, that kind of sounds like grace and it's, you know, maybe in one sense of it all, too, about how we're learning as we go, but we provide ourselves that runway for everything's not going to be perfect. But we're, like, you mentioned it earlier, too. I think of, you know, willing, being open in like continuing the learning process, you know, continuing to move forward, you know, makes whole the difference. Yeah. And like forgiving, forgiving ourselves. and yeah i mean i did a lot of stuff i'm definitely not proud of it's always interesting though because i wonder if i could go back and change it all like i mean it's so that's so difficult to me because

even though i'm not proud of stuff and have you know been through the immense process i actually reached out to somebody today i used to date this girl and her mom took me in so many times like took me in and i was just like i was i was always like good that was nice i was respectful but my intentions were terrible, like the reasons for it and then this took advantage of the situation. I actually sent her message today. She'd popped up on my Facebook. And I said, you know, I saw you on my Facebook and I just want to say thank you for always loving me, kindness and, you know, all this stuff.

And I mean, this is 15, 16 years ago since I've ever since I've seen her. But it's important. But I think that that's the big thing is like we remain open, you know, and willing to learn and listen to other people, our support networks and plug in. And just kind of have that competitive edge in a sense, right? I mean, what's more competitive than somebody who's always evolving? Yeah. And business and everything.

And it just helps with everything. Even now, you know, if something happens, like I drove by a truck the other day in a parking lot and I hit the mirror and nobody was in the parking lot. I got out and like I walked in. It was like, I hit your mirror. Like, I'm sorry. They came out. Like, there's no problem.

Like, thank you for doing that. Like, I have to. I live my life like that. It might be a struggle bus sometimes. or just being brutally honest all the time about my messups, but it just opens you up to this new way of living. Like if something weird happens, you know, with a business thing or something like that, I just come up and say, hey, sorry, I came at you like that.

I want to apologize. And it's like, it makes people connected to you because I don't know, man. It's just, it's a really hard way to live when you're drinking to be brutally honest and to be brutally up front. But when you start doing it, it with a grace from it, you know, just to openly admit it to people about your defects and be like, hey, I was struggling yesterday. Sorry, I got snippy.

I love you. They're like, cool. You know, it's, oh, it's free. And I live for that now. And I want to get better to where I don't get snippy or I don't get like that. I would like to be, I know it's a joke, but I would like at some point to be a guru. And I know that takes a lot of practice. And I always thought that I could.

Then I'm real life, it's funny in practice to think that you can become a guru and then until, you know, until you get snippy. And you're like, oh, okay, this is hard. But I want, I just want to live my life in a way that I can be brutally honest with the people I love and the people who are who are around me. and I can get back to them. And I just pray every day, God, just keep me on the beam and just keep on helping me, make me a better person every day. And it works incrementally. It just you get a little tiny better every day and you get a little more open every day.

And it's a beautiful way to live. Yeah. Well, great job. I mean, with everything, too. I mean, what's going on with you now as far as your career and all that stuff? Yeah, share a little bit of that with us. Well, right when I got really sober, I worked at a car shop. Like I told you, I went to another one

And I got into a fight with a guy When I locked all my This is God, right? I locked all myself in storage I didn't know where to go And I was in Florida I had a place getting a healthy like shake And I was, you know

Eat some good food getting back in the gym And I was there every day For like a week trying to figure out What I was gonna do And I was scared I was newly, newly sober sober And I was talking to my sober friends down there And like just just trust the process

So I started filling out things And an old girlfriend of mine sent me, this is like, this is really new into sobriety, especially from Cratham. Like, this is like a year and a half or so, you know. And she sends me a little thing and she goes, hey, idiot, they're looking for a guy for a TV show, you should apply. And I'm like, I still have a lot of self-doubt by that.

I'm sober now and I'm doing good. I'm getting a little fit, you know, and I'm creating some really cool stuff. I'm building some really cool hot rods and my brain's starting to fire on all these cylinders. And I finally have a passion. And it was a TV show for Netflix that said they're looking for a fabricator, the guy to build stuff. And I talked to my sobriety crew and they're like, go for it.

Like, we got your back, you know. I applied. Did pick up. And I was like, oh, this is not going to happen, you know. And I just took a shot the next day. One of my sobriety friends told me to call him. I called him and I talked to the casting agent. I told her everything.

Sobriety looking for loving all the wrong places, how I just left this shop. And she asked me, what do you really want to do in your life? It's like, I want to be sober and I want to build stuff. She goes, all right, I'll put you forward to Netflix. Put me forward. I did a self-tape with them. All of us. They were all blacked out.

Told them the exact same thing I'm telling you. I just brutally, I didn't care. I was like, I just got sober. I got some time. I'm building hot rods. You know,

I'm looking for love at all the wrong places. I just want to create yada, yada, yada, yada. And all the screens came on, boom, boom. And then they asked me, what is your end goal? Do you want to be famous?

I don't care. I just really want to build and I want to be like, again, I just want to be a good dude and I want to build some weird shit. They're like, you got the job. Be out here in two months of California.

We start filming, signed the contract. They paid me money that I never thought I would see in my life. And I immediately went from having a car in storage to get myself a little place. I went to the gym every day, got ready, did my sobriety stuff. Went to like two meetings a day. I got geared up, man. I got 200 pounds all jacked up.

I went out to California. I drove out there. I had a spiritual trip. Listen to the doors, praying out in Texas, doing all those weird stuff. Going to meetings in every state. I show up to California and I freaking shred the place. It was the coolest experience of my life. So I went from not knowing what was going to happen to being on a TV show for Netflix doing what I love.

And that's when I looked up to the sky, you know, the big man. I was like, hey, thank you. You know, whatever you need for me, I'm here for you. Like, and I don't know what that is. But I'm thinking now after doing these things and he helped me do all this. And I got sober just a couple years ago. Now I got my own shop. I'm building hot rods.

I'm doing what I love. And I think now I'm starting to get the knock on the door where I think it's time I tell my story. And I realize it's not about me anymore. It's like I got to help out the kids or the. older guys, maybe the hot rod people who are struggling to realize that this isn't something to be ashamed of, you know, alcohol doesn't care if you're a lawyer, if you're a doctor, if you're a guru, or if you're a businessman or a hot rod builder, if you got it, you got it, and you got to just know when to put it down.

There's a lot of awesome help out there, and it all comes from a place of love. Yeah. Wow, man. That's wild. When was the Netflix show? When did you do that? Like, how long? So we filmed it a couple years ago, and then it dropped two years ago.

And yeah, I was top four on Netflix. And the funniest thing was, man, I've done some TV stuff before. And I've always had an ego or I've always been scared. This was the first time because of sobriety that I went out there and I was just, I was me. After all the years and starting to get sober, I realized who I really am. I'm not a tough guy. I'm not this person. I'm like a really sensitive weird dude.

And I went out there and the producers just enjoyed it. I love them. They're like, I got to be weird and build and create. Hey, see weird stuff. And it felt really good to finally start figuring out who I was and not be embarrassed for it, you know, because I felt it had to be a certain way when I was drinking. I felt like I had to be, like a lot of us guys feel like we have to be a tough dude or whatever, or have to be the rock.

I went out there just a pillow. There we go. Let's do it. And I, oh, man, I got teary-eyed a lot of days because it was a lot of work, but I would walk out of there. And I was so proud that I was able to showcase the real me, you know, the good and the bad. And that's something I could have never did with sobriety. If I went out there using, it would have been a whole different character. You know, it would have been some arrogant, Italian guy who's got to prove to the world how good he is.

I went out there, total opposite. I didn't have to prove anything. I just did the work and I made people laugh. And it wasn't me, man. I heard, you ever, this is a tangent, you ever hear how Rick Rubin on a podcast a long time ago asked how he's so good? No, no. Somebody asked him in a pod. This is a tangent.

I know. I'm sorry. But he goes up. he goes, you know how good you are? You made all these bands number one or whatever. And he goes, it's not me. He's what do you mean? It's like, it's something else.

It's like the muse or it's God. He said that the biggest thing you can ever do when you create is dedicate what you make to God and let them flow through you. So when I was out there, I practiced this. I would go out there and be like, my hands are yours. Whatever you want me to do today is yours. And I kept that continuation going every day. When I wake up, I get on my knees, when I build something and I say, God, flow through my hands. Whatever you want it to be, it's yours.

And when I do that, whatever I create is really cool. When I try to take over and build something, it's always bad. So, and that show, I practice the art of like, I'm here, run through me, flow through me, whatever you want me to build and create, I got it. I'll do the work. You just show me where to go. And it's always beautiful. So another thing I learned from sobriety is like I give him everything, not just my

sobriety, not, you know, that part of it. I give them how I run my day, how I show up and how I create. Yeah. Wow, that's a, even you mentioned there too, like if you had, you know, went on the show, you know, while you're still in the mix of everything, but it's even like maybe a step back, I think about, I mean, with the opportunity of, you know, lined up like you did, right? And, you know, I mean, I don't know about you, but I would commit to a lot of stuff, but showing up was a whole separate. So I'm like, I would say, yeah, yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, be there. I'll do that. But it was hit or miss. Depends how I felt, right? Or, you know, I would always, I would always try to say, well, I got something, something tomorrow, right? So, of course, I'm only going to have a six pack. But I would always at the end of the six pack or whatever, I'd say, you know, just one more. And just one, you know, this is like years doing this stuff. So it was always really

unpredictable of, um, showing up for what I said I could do. So any other opportunities happen since then for you? Like now you got your own shop and now you're building. building and I mean, and you've got the car. Like, what's that story? This is the first car that I ever owned. It was actually the car that my father and I was supposed to build. And I don't know if you can see it, but we got sponsored by Seema, which is one of the largest organizations out there in the automotive arena. And we're building it in his name and we're going to bring it there. So the Seema's like where you're bringing the biggest and baddest car as you showcase them. This has such a story to it that we're going to build it,

but we're going to drive it out there. So, I mean, talk about God. I've been doing my shop where I'm building all this weird stuff. This is El Camino I'm building. It's all wheel drive. And I've been vlogging it. I started my channel. My channel went from zero followers or 100,000 followers on YouTube.

All from like me just trying stuff. People telling me to like, you know, start the channel, learning how to edit. I guess where I'm going with it now is a, yeah, I'm like, I don't really know what's happening or where this is all going, but I know it feels good. And I started doing this and all this by myself. And just the other day when this thing became official,

with doing the Chavelle, all my friends from back on the day showed up. And every night, they all have full-time jobs. They come in at night and for free, they help me build it. And I just, I care about them so much. So I think where I was going with that one is back in the day, I would have think, you know, maybe the followers and the stuff that I've accumulated would make me have ego. But being sober now, I look at the tail end of it. And I'm like, I am so freaking lucky to be able to do this with a clear head.

So now when the guys come in, I'm like, how are you doing today? Can I get you water? Can I get you a coffee? How can I love up on you? And they just help. And I really want to go with all this as we get the car done. We get it out there. And I start giving back to the people around me.

You know, bring it with me as a channel grows. I don't know. Help them build their stuff. Spread the awareness of, you know, the sobriety. Like tell kids it's fun to do this stuff. You know, the automotive industry is kind of dying. And I want to spread that out there too. So I don't really know what the grand scheme is.

All I know is I want to create. I want to be a good dude while I do it. And I want to get back. So however God wants me to give back, if it's talking about it. if it's, I don't know, maybe I start some sort of a foundation where it's like we have people coming here, we teach them, where we build them cars and we give them away. I don't know. I don't know where it's all going, but all I know is I want to create, get the YouTube pop into the, not, I can't say pop and sounds like a millennial thing. Get the YouTube rocking and rolling.

Get the YouTube rocking a roll out and then just kind of ride the wave, man. I'm just riding the wave. Yeah. Well, I mean, what, like the coolest thing too, because I saw the, a little clip you did a while back on Instagram of the story of the car and how you and your dad were looking at getting it and then your dad passed away and then you couldn't afford it initially and then how it all came about and that you still have it moons later and now you're doing this driving it out there like wow man it's so cool and what i'm what i'm really proud of is like you know back in the day i had a part of me that really really really wanted that we all have it you know especially in all calls and it really wants to be seen. You want your peers toward Doria. At least I know I had that

for me. I had a part where I wanted to be seen my, I'm luckily, it's for men. I want to men to think I was a cool dude. And now as I'm doing the stuff, I look at it totally differently. Now I just really, I just want to create. I just want to build. And I want to do it in a fun way. So it's coming from a better place, which is I'm lucky. Because if this came from the other place, this would never work. You know, if I came into all this, like, I wanted to be some rock star and have a great YouTube channel. It never works. I don't, I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't care who you are. If you had bad intentions, it just doesn't happen. If you go into it, like, hey, you know, I'm going to show up and I'm going to work my ass off and whatever happens,

happens, you know. Same thing with your podcast. You're, you're tuned in. You can tell that you're listening. You love it. Like, it's going to go somewhere. You know, if you went into, like, I'm going to start a sober podcast. It's going to be number one. It's never going to happen. It's just never going to trust me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was start a sober podcast. I never, never, well, it's interesting. That's a story, I guess, for another day, but it was never, I was just like, I'm going to try it out. And then, you know, three years later, it's like, here we are. I've met so many.

And I think one of the things that really keeps me even doing it is all the people you get to meet along the way, you know, all the people you get to meet along the way. And, you know, if people pick up a thing or two, it's a beautiful, you know, another beautiful part of the process. But I just love the way we do it here, man. I think that it's the stories. It's not us telling people what to do, you know, do X, Y, and Z. and then your life will be better.

But it's just showing people what we did, what worked for us, what's possible, and how things can possibly change, especially when you connected the dots to how you were feeling at the end and even how you were struggling too in aspects of life, even in early sobriety. I think the, you know, I mean, sobriety offers so much beauty for life and so much opportunity to grow and make changes. But what I kind of take away from hearing all of this, your story anyway is that you went from a place of hopelessness in a lot of areas to a place

of hope, but also I'll see where it goes, you know, like not having this, like it has to go this way or else it's that I'm doing it wrong, you know, with everything else around you. So I really pick up on that. I think it's really cool because we're hard on ourselves when we get into this, right? we've had this life of destruction in some sense. Are we ever going to be able to come back from that? I love it. I think what you need to realize, too, is what you're doing,

you're helping so many people. I mean, there's so many different avenues to get help and people doing what you're doing. You never know. Maybe my story to somebody makes them relate. Maybe somebody it doesn't. But what you're doing is the tree trunk that's allowing it all to flow out and people can pick what they want and to help them. And that's the one thing I want to say, too, you know, people who watch, I don't know

if your podcast is, you know, your higher power or whatnot. That's kind of how I got into it and what helps me, but I want people to realize, there's many different ways to get sober. You know, I think mine was a mixture or concoction of, I found, luckily,

what I really loved to do, which was a whole of my soul that was missing. I didn't realize I was creative and I had to let it flow. And I also found a higher power. So the mixture of those two coming together kind of fended off the demons until I got myself in check,

you know, and like, my God protects me. people out there if they don't believe there are other ways. Like I think the biggest thing for sobriety is people just realizing, okay, okay, the shit sucks. You've done some weird stuff. If you just let it go and if you can just cope with being easier on yourself, life just moves forward and just start being honest with yourself. You can be brutally honest to yourself internally. You'll get sober and you'll get help.

And if you have some good people behind you're rooting for you, just start talking. I heard one of the tricks I did early on in sobriety was talk to yourself like your 15-year-old self. Like, I would usually verbally abuse myself, right? You're an idiot. You're relate. You're dumb. Then I started talking to myself like, hey, little buddy, that sucked. Like, yeah, I did.

I love you. And I was weird at first. I love you too. And then, like, you kind of move forward. And it kind of just woo-sod of it. You know, because we forget. We were a kid at once. And life hit us in the side of the head, the side of our heads.

And, yeah, you just got to be easy on yourself. Like, wherever you are in your journey, the beginning of it, the ending of it, you're in the middle of it. Just go easy on yourself. just ride the wave, man. Just ride the wave and just flow with it and things will get a little softer. Don't have to control everything. Yeah, that's a great way to put it to. Yeah, we don't have to control everything.

Acceptance, right? Except things as they are, people as they are. You know, we don't need to change or be in control of all that stuff. Any closing thoughts, Don? I really appreciate you jumping on here. Yeah, thank you. You're sharing your story, man. I mean, it's great, dude.

so proud of where you're at now, even though we've just met. Me too. Yeah. Any thoughts in closing, man? Yeah. Let me see. I don't really have anything planned, but I guess my biggest thing I want to get through to anybody who is looking into getting sober is having a hard time with sobriety.

Get rid of the idea that you're defective. Get rid of the idea that your life's junk. You're going through a patch. You're at a crossroads. And at any moment, you can change the crossroads or go down a different path. Now, is sobriety the easiest one all the time? No, you've got to start dealing with pain that you never even thought you had, but as you go through it, if you can just ride through it and start learning how to deal with some of the pain and learning how to talk to yourself better, get some good people.

It does incrementally get easier. Sometimes it's fast. Sometimes it's not. There's nothing promised with sobriety, but what I can't promise you is you will have moments in sobriety at some point where you finally get to smell the roses. And if you can even get to smell the roses once and just be at peace. the moment, the people you love, that will be any high or any drunk you've ever had in your life. And I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart, like, just being serene for, I would pick being serene for one day than everything that I've ever done.

You know, I know that some of this stuff is cool, the hot rod shop on the TV shows, but the biggest thing I get from my sobriety is waking up with a coffee in my hand, driving in my truck, feeling the vibrations through my hand, and I actually get to feel it. You know, and that for me makes me get teary-eyed, you know, looking at the sun and getting the shivers. I know it sounds won't But I'm telling you like we were built to be sober We weren't built to be drunk every day

We weren't built to be You know we're built for a couple things to love To give back community And to like really be a part of this whole thing And just be easy on yourself If you're going through it just be easy And start reaching out And you're not that bad off

You can always turn it around And you never know where it's gonna go It can go somewhere That you'd only dream of And I pray that you can get there And you deserve it The biggest thing I've heard And this is the tangent too

there's a lot of people that I meet there who are drinking or alcoholics say they don't deserve it because they've done bad stuff. We are all initially built pure, right? Like all of us came out of the womb as babies, pure. Life hit us in certain ways. Some of it hit us harder and it sucks. And I get it no matter of what you've been through, you deserve love and you deserve to feel what it's like to live your best life. So get rid of all that trash in the background, dump it out and just start walking forward and realize that you deserve it. It might take some time.

Fake it to you, make it. tell yourself, I deserve it, even if you don't feel it. Because at some point you're going to wake up, be like, holy moly, like I do. And I pray, I pray that all of you get to have that. And you all deserve it. So get sober, hammer on down, and live life. Beautiful. Well, well said, great way to end things, Don.

Thank you so much. Well, there it is another incredible episode here on the podcast. Huge shout out to Don for jumping on. Being new to podcasting and sharing a story with all of us. incredible story. Well done, Don. Be sure to send him a message over on Instagram if you enjoyed this episode, got something from it, or were able to connect it anyway.

I'll drop his contact information down to the show notes below. And if you haven't left a review yet on Apple or Spotify, what are you waiting for? Drop a review five stars, and I'll see you on the next one.