Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Sobriety changed everything for Luc and Mailinn - Updates on the sober life.

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, we catch up with two inspiring guests, Mailinn and Luc, who share their profound sobriety journeys and the immense gratitude they feel for their transformed lives. Mailinn,  from Norway, celebrates five years of sobriety and reflects on overcoming severe health challenges and rediscovering herself. Luc, who has been sober for eight years, discusses his initial struggles with moderation, the turning points in his journey, and the importance of community and resilience. Both guests offer heartfelt advice and encouragement to those navigating their own paths to sobriety.   Join the Sober Motivation Community:  https://sobermotivation.mn.co Luc on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marathon2sobriety/ Mailinn on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soyli91/   00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:34 Encouragement for Those Struggling with Sobriety 01:58 Mailinn's Sobriety Journey 05:39 Reflecting on Five Years of Sobriety 08:39 Challenges and Triumphs in Sobriety 14:11 The Importance of Sharing Your Story 25:21 Luc Sobriety Journey 28:55 Struggles with Addiction 29:54 The Turning Point 31:06 The Role of Community 32:42 Personal Stories of Recovery 34:38 The Importance of Self-Prioritization 38:21 Maintaining Sobriety 42:07 The Journey of Sobriety 46:32 Reflections and Advice 51:18 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Welcome back to another update episode on the Super Motivation podcast. Today we've got two incredible people that I've got to know fairly well on this journey of podcasting and sobriety. First is Maylin all the way from Norway joining us to give us an update. And then my buddy Luke, Marathon to Sobriety, we go deep with stuff. We really do in both of these chats here, we go deep with stuff about the changes and what life's been and a lot of the blessings that sobriety brings to our life. So I hope you enjoy it. For anybody out there, I just got this one thing to mention that's kind of been heavy on my

heart, I guess, is that if we keep doing the same thing, we're going to get the same results. So I really want to encourage anybody out there who's struggling. With getting to where you want to be with this whole sobriety, alcohol-free thing, you have to do something different. You have to. Can't keep doing the same stuff. Relying soul. on willpower just to not drink. It's exhausting and it runs out. Willpower runs out. Everything in our life requires willpower from work to parenting, to responsibilities, to everything else in life. And by the time you get to the end of your day when it's you against that next drink, your willpower is depleted. Relying on it is not reliable at all. And this is what a lot

of people find out when they join the Subur Motivation Community. They're coming together, talking with people being open, honest, and vulnerable changes the game completely and gives you an incredible opportunity to change your life. If anybody's interested in joining us on the community, please check it out. I'll drop the link down to the show notes below. A lot of people who listen to the podcast, I don't know, they listen for years, some of them before they join. But once they do, the message is often the same. They wish they did it sooner. It's an incredible community. and we would love to see you there. Now let's get to these updates.

Welcome back, everybody, to another clip here. We've got Malin with us today. How are you doing? I'm doing great. I just had five years sober, and I'm just living lives, feeling absolutely wonderful. Yeah, incredible.

I mean, huge congrats to for five years. Anybody who caught your episode on the podcast will understand how just amazing that is for you to where you were in life. For anybody who didn't get a chance to catch your episode yet, give us sort of the cliff nose version of how things were for you at the end and how important celebrating five years is to you. Well, at the end, back in 2019, I knew 100% that I wasn't going to survive much longer. So I actually only just left my house for my best friend's wedding. And I knew then when I was his best man

that this was going to be our last memory together. So I had to be there for him. But I've posted a lot of pictures from that day and you can see how sick I was. I slept five or six times in the car outside. My hair was just in a knot. And I was big and I was, I was really sick.

I threw up a bunch of times that day. Only blood came out. And that was when I absolutely knew 100% sure that I wasn't going to live for much longer. And then five months later, I started to feel my legs getting numb and I couldn't move. And then it's a very long story short. I ended up in the hospital and I was placed in a coma. I had multi-organ failure and GBS. That's what made me paralyzed.

And then I stayed in a coma for two months. And I was four months at the hospital. This was all during COVID. So I had no visitors. And I woke up to this pandemic named after a beer. So I didn't believe it. I didn't believe this world I woke up to was real. And, yeah, started slowly getting back my mind.

That was the worst part and the nerve pains. I didn't believe anything. I didn't know where I was. I hadn't seen my loved ones in four months. And in June, when I really knew that I was sober for the first time in seven years, I just went all in. I was so happy. And at that time, I was still paralyzed.

I was very overweight. I was bald because they cut my hair off at the ICU. But at that time, when I met my loved once again, and I knew that I was actually sober, that it was not just something I had hallucinated. I just thought, I remember thinking, it can't get better than this. This was like, this was my reward, even though I had to be paralyzed for the rest of my life. This was, it could not get any better than this.

And obviously it did, but that was how much it meant to me to be sober. It was just, it mattered more than anything, even me walking. Well, even reflecting back on your story, too, I mean, it was something that felt, I don't know if impossible is the right word. Yes. You know, it did. It did for your life, right? A day life without drinking. Yeah.

Was it really on the realm? No, it wasn't. I had, I thought I was too far gone. I had started writing letters to my loved ones, my liver doctor. I saw him once a year. He, in 2019, the fall of 2019, he just told me that we weren't going to see each other next year for our annual appointment. And I knew he was right. I just waited actually for to not wake up.

Every time I closed my eyes, I just thought this was it. I wasn't going to wake up. I had just vomited blood by then six months or so. every day several times a day and my body was just so broken. So yeah, I am grateful every day for my new life. Yeah, in five years too. I mean, how did you go about celebrating that? And I'm also interested too about, well, what's the reaction from those around you,

your family and your loved ones too about how this journey has come together for you? Well, they are very proud and very happy. They also didn't think I was going to survive, especially when my multi-organ failure happened. And they were all told that I wasn't a candidate for a new liver. But now, the past five years, they have been super supportive like they have always been. Even in my drinking years, they have always been there, always cheering me on. And they are just so happy and proud. And they love to celebrate those days with me.

So I had actually five celebrations so that everybody could join in because they all have different jobs. And so, yeah, I had to celebrate five times so that they could all celebrate with me. Yeah. Wow, that's incredible. Yeah. I remember too. I remember it vaguely with not all the details, but I remember when we've chat. before I think about Christmas and about the holiday and about that being so special to you.

And just like this too, right? I mean, something maybe on a little bit of a deep level there is like, what have you really learned about yourself throughout this, right? Because alcohol, when it's involved, I mean, I don't know that we're really feeling those emotions on a deep level and it's really numbing. And then when we step away from it, we start to get more awareness. and maybe in there, there's no escape in a sense anymore from what's going on. I mean, what's been your experience with that?

It's been a process. I had to learn how to walk again and everything. I also had to learn how to be me again. I remember the first time I didn't have visitors, as I said, for a long time. And then the first day where I was allowed to have my brother, my best friend, and my mother come visit me. I was just so happy that I forgot to think about that they hadn't seen me sober in a very long time. So right before they came through the door, I was like, oh my God, how did I used to be? I didn't remember who I was without the alcohol.

And that was a learning curve. Just to remember also my first phone conversation, it took me two months to call someone. because I didn't know how to speak on the phone sober. I was just a total reset button. I just had to learn everything over again. And just this sense of confidence you get from the alcohol, even though I was so sick, I was never scared to talk to people or in social settings.

And everything was just reset when I got sober. I had to learn all over again how to just speak to people or go outside and do things sober. And that was really strange, but in a very good way. But it was a lot of nerves. And I'll go to parties sober, and it's been a very learning curve. But it's a very fun one. I'm always very proud when I do something like this.

So it's been fun. It's been very like the first. In the past five years, they have been hard. I've been working hard, but I've learned a lot, and I wouldn't trade it now. I love that, how grateful I am for every single little thing that everyone else takes, not everyone else, but a lot of people take for granted, just getting up from the couch or just waiting up without having to drink. And so I love my journey.

do. I love learning all this all over again. Yeah. No, thank you so much for sharing that too. It is a world of difference from the way it was for you before, right? Waking up in drinking and, I mean, it does a lot of damage, right? It did a lot of damage your life. Absolutely. Physically and mentally too, right? And to have some clarity in your life now probably makes a huge difference. It does. And I can, I have found my strength in sobriety. I, I, all these things. things I've been doing the past five years, I would never have thought I could do sober. But I'm so much... What are you referring to there?

Well, my entire journey with learning how to walk through the nerve pains and everything, losing all that weight was nearly 100 kilos. My surgery is to remove blue skin just to pay it forward. I remember the first time I was in the media. I was just going to meet this journalist. And I was like, oh, my, I just panics because my story was going out there. And it was a stranger in my house. And I, yeah, I remember I had such butterflies for all of this to go public, like in the entire Norway.

But it's just, it's gotten easier, a lot easier. I've been a lot in the media now. So now it's, I'm used to it. Not so used to this English-speaking podcast. What's that been like, though? because we had you on the show and you heard from some people. I mean, what's that been like to step way outside of your comfort zone with English not being your first language

and share your story in such a deep and like vulnerable way? That was a new one. I was really like excited when people in my friends, my family, in my country, listen to it. I just got great feedback. I did. But it is weird because we had this accent. but it's um it's been it's been just amazing i have this i have this book where i've written down

like accomplishments over the years and i have your podcast in like huge letters because it was so out of my comfort zone because of the english and the telling my story and um yeah yeah it's it's been great it's been it's been amazing five years these five years the It's been better than my whole life. It's, yeah, it's over life. It's just the best. Yeah. You were so true, so true.

I take away a lot of stuff from your story and hearing your story and knowing you and just connecting. And we had you in the community, too, to share your story. I take away so much. But I think one of the things I really take away is obviously your level of gratitude, but also your level of gratitude to where you don't want your story just to not serve. a purpose. Like you want that pain and in everything that hopeless place you went through to maybe help somebody else just give it another shot or just to keep going. Yes. And that is also whenever one of my reels go viral, there's a lot of comments. And then some of them or many of them,

very many of them is like I was going to like drink today, but you gave me a new hope. It just it makes it all so, so worth it when I get comments like that and when they tell me that I inspire them to keep going on their journey or to start their own sober journeys. And it means really, it means the world to me. I get this feeling of all those years. So they were worth it somehow. I was meant to go through them so I could use my story. And now I don't, I'm not bitter because of my 20s that they just went away. I just used them as an experience, which is also why I've applied to this like an experience consultant study

we have here in Norway at least, where you just apply to the study with using your story. So you can work in rehab and, yeah, I get the answer to that in April. I hope I get it as a year. study. Wow, that's incredible. Yes. And I know, but we chatted before too that you've been working to help others too in Norway too. Share a little bit about that, right? Because I think it's one thing to have it on the reels, right? I mean, of course, that's beautiful to be able to do that to see somebody in person and have that impact on them too. I mean, that's cool or maybe a different

way. So what's that been like for you? That's been amazing. The last year, that's been the best one. Job training of sorts at a facility. And I was so scared that first day. I remember, I didn't sleep for like 48 hours. And I just laid thinking, like, what am I doing? Why am I thinking that I can go and do anything productive? And I haven't been working since 2012. And I was just, I was so scared. I can't even tell you. There was so many butterflies. And then it's just I'm so in love with that place. I absolutely love my job and my coworkers and the beautiful humans staying there. And actually after a week of working there, my newspaper, I was at the cover of a newspaper and they got that newspaper there.

So they all learned about my story that way. I hadn't told them anything. So they just, I was at the cover and they were all, that is you on the cover. Like, yeah. And then they learned about my past that way. Wow. So it was actually very funny. So, yeah, I love working there.

I love that place. They have been all so kind to me. And yeah. And they know my story. so they can, they know that I know that it sucks. Yeah, what it's like. But also how to get, also the getting out of it is so possible. Just thinking too, like, what are some things that you've really leaned on to help you out?

I mean, I get this sort of theme in your story from now and from before. I mean, doing hard things is something that's important to you to like push forward and do stuff that, you know, like this, right? you're getting the butterflies and like recording the podcast, taking this job, being in the newspapers, doing all this stuff that maybe you didn't see as possible for your life has become important to you because you realize you got to get out of your comfort zone to really grow. What else that stands out to you as like really important things that might help other people on their journey? Well, I do have this immense gratitude and I do believe there is a reason I had to go through

this. I've also had a lecture at the hospital that I was in and I, I, I, I, all the feedback that they give me that it helps them with, um, and with future patients, especially how we're treated so often. It's just, it's become this like life goal. I think I was meant to do this. And I also, I know how, how other people can learn from us. And, and, I'm just, it's become this, like, life goal. I think I was meant to do this. And I, and I also, and I also, it's so important if you're comfortable with it to share your story and there will always be people out there who thinks that they are totally alone and I did because I drank so much I always got told that they had never met anyone who drank as much as I did so I felt hopeless all the time that they didn't have a treatment plan for me or anything so I

promised for years to use my story if I ever got the chance to because I didn't want other people to sit out there and think that they're the only ones. So when I was that close to dying, I believe it's hope for everyone struggling. And I really want them to know that because I wish that I knew when I was drinking, I remember thinking that was completely impossible. It was completely impossible to live a life without alcohol. And I just, I wish I had someone who told me how wrong that was, someone who had went through it. My psychologists and my doctors, they are, they were amazing, many of them.

But they hadn't gone through it. They hadn't felt it on their bodies. And so I didn't, I didn't listen to them. I wish I had someone who told me that it is not only possible, but it's so much better life. It's just this amazing life that I never, ever thought possible. I could never have imagined this how this would feel because I thought I couldn't live without alcohol. And that was, yeah, totally not my voice. It was the voice of my addiction, just trying to keep me there.

And I wish someone told me that voice is fake. I wish I had someone like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's so true. I mean, it helps for other people that have been through to help us. You talk with a lot of people too and ask them if they had anybody in their life that was sober, like to role model that for because it can feel scary, right? Like that's boring or the funds over.

All these sort of beliefs we have around what quitting alcohol looks like. And then when we do it, it's like, oh, we start to chip away at all of those beliefs to realize, like, this is so much fun. Like, we're so much more connected. We're enjoying life. And of course, like, things are challenging. But I don't know if, you know, for your situation, if you're ever going to come up against stuff often, that's going to be like the way it was for you, where you go in to meet with your doctor. And you're wondering when the next appointment is. And he was like, there's no need for another appointment.

And you guys, I kind of picture that as you guys had like this unspoken understanding of the whole meaning behind this, because that would be a really tough thing to go to. You can feel it. I can feel it, the gratitude that you have for life and how important it is for you to go out there and continue to do the hard thing because sharing our stories is tough at times, but continue to do that in hopes to touch somebody else. Yes, and it's just if one person, if I can say one, it's been, it's all been so worth it. So I'm not bitter or anything. I'm just so grateful for my 20s. And that, I never, ever thought I would say that in those hellish years. So, no, I really love my journey.

I absolutely love my journey, like every day of my journey, even though I'm uncomfortable a lot. have been the last five years. I really want to push myself and do stuff out of my comfort zone because it's, why not I'm alive? So many people aren't and so many people didn't get my second chance. So I have to use it for everything is worth. So that's my whole mantra. Yeah.

So I just have to live. And I say yes to every opportunity to do something good with my story. Yeah. I love that. Anything else that you want to mention before we wrap things up? That's a good question. I don't think so. I've been, I mean, I talk a lot about this gratitude,

so I guess even people get tired of hearing it. But it's, no, I really want people to just really believe us when we say that a sober life is just, it's the best thing that I could ever have hope to experience. And I hope so many other. people get to experience it and it's worth it. It's worth it in the end. It's a hell of a battle, but it's so worth it in the end. And I also think that this gratitude that I have, a lot of us have, I know that. And I feel like it's a reward for us to have gotten out through it to the other side.

So we see the world differently in a way that most people can't. And it's, I feel like that is our reward for going through all this hell. And yeah. Now it's just to pay forward. That is the best advice I have when you get sober to share your story because it will help someone. Yeah. No, so true. I love that the way you, your vision for gratitude there.

I've never heard that before. And I do. And I really believe a lot of people are like, should I share my story and will it help other people? I think at the end of the day, it helps us. So it's always going to ring true. It's always going to help somebody. And it's going to help others, but it's going to help us as well. Absolutely.

Great gift to give ourselves and to give other people. Absolutely. And you own your story. Every time I've noticed, I've been a lot in the newspapers, and every time I sell it, I own it more and more. So that's also important because it's not as hard for me to talk about as it used to be. Yeah. So,

beautiful job. Well, thank you so much for connecting. And we'll be in touch soon, too, because I've got some other things. I want to run by you. But thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me again.

Yeah. Welcome back to this segment here. We've got Luke with us. Luke actually, interesting story. If you guys haven't went back all the way to listen to the first episode of the podcast, Luke was the guy who kicked everything off.

We couldn't figure out how to do it. But we got it figured out, man. How are you doing today? I'm doing great, Brad. Great, great to connect with you and chat with you. Thanks for having me again. Yeah, of course, man. Thank you for making some time to jump on here.

If anybody didn't have a chance to listen to that first episode with your story, give us the kind of the Cliff Nose version of how things kicked off for you on your journey to sobriety. Yeah, so I'm eight years sober. It's crazy all time flies. I think we connected shortly after I had sort of come out of the sober closet. I was sober for five years and I was ashamed of being sober. Nobody knew, you know, wasn't proud to be sober. And then something about hitting my five-year anniversary, I started becoming, you know,

proud of the journey that I was on. I qualified for a major marathon that I was excited to do. And everything shifted. And that's when I started reaching out and created an Instagram. page and I messaged you, Brad, and shortly after we connected and I got a chance to, you know, share my story a little bit. Yeah. And that was incredible. I mean, and the response was as well, you know, and I think it was kind of just reflecting on the chats there. It was like, man, there's a really big community out there. And you kind of already had before that, I think,

shared your story on LinkedIn too, right? And had like so many people messaging you and even on a, the business quote unquote platform too, right, taking that chance to share your story. What was it like for you, though, even like when you first got sober, like, so what was going through your mind about, like, I want to commit to sobriety or at least try it out? Yeah, I never wanted to be sober. I was terrified of what sobriety meant. I knew that my drinking was, was escalating and was just complicating my life, but I never wanted to be sober. I was in therapy for years trying to moderate my drinking. And I did that for a long time. And, you know, it would work sometimes. It would work a lot of the times, but it would also, you know, not work a lot of the times, too.

So it was just kind of the back and forth tugger war, but in my mind about it. And then it's just, I was just tired of my own, of my own bullshit. And then eventually I was like, okay, let's try taking a break. And then that snowballed that, you know, that continued on. And I haven't looked back since I committed to it. Yeah, which is eight years now. I mean, you're right, though. things do it does fly interesting there that you touch on that too right because i i just have this

hunch that a lot of listeners and a lot of people i talk to it i'm sure you do as well man they're trying to figure out that moderation stage and part of me gets it like you i mean you have to kind of check off the box that maybe you tried but like i talked to so many people and in my story too that was that's way more difficult than actual like abstinence or sobriety for me anyway what was your experience with it like that hamster wheel of like because what you said too i think also makes it a very confusing place to be because i share a similar story sometimes it worked out and it was like okay this was all right but then things would blow up i would always like end up blowing things up it would be a bad night bad weekend take it too far push it and um i

hated those those times but i never really knew when that was going to happen um type thing but what was like your experience and thoughts for it same thing it's i never knew what version of myself i would get it was just the inconsistencies. Like a lot of the times it would be fine. But then like I mentioned, there was that there's that beast inside of me that once he's activated, it's hard to tame the beast. Like once he comes out, you know, usually two, three drinks in. And then as my addiction progressed, it wasn't just alcohol anymore. It started becoming drugs too.

And then once that became into play, then the drinks were sort of never enough. And then I would always think, okay, what's this other thing that's going to, make tonight more fun. And then once I would dabble into that, then there was actually no stopping me. You know, I could go 24, 48 hours, no problem. And it was scary. Like, I was putting myself in some really scary situations. And I was just, I was just making my life way more complicated. And, and yeah, like I said, I was scared. I never wanted to be sober. But when I started taking some true reflection on on what's been getting me into trouble it was the drinking and the drugs so when i stopped drinking i stopped doing drugs yeah hard stop like i never used or craved using

when i was sober so if i if i open the door to having drinks on special occasions uh birthdays anniversaries those types of things if i keep the door open i know eventually it will catch up and eventually I will go back to the drugs and then eventually I'm just going to really complicate things. So like you said, it's so much easier having zero than it is trying to stop at two or three. Like why would I do that to myself? It's not fun. Yeah. Then I even reflect back to to like if somebody told me that. I'm sure people did. I wasn't listening, but they're like, hey, it's easier to have none than to be trying to do this. But like that's, It truly is.

It's so much easier. Maybe, you know, in the beginning, obviously there's work that has to be done. But it is just a lot easier. You bring up the sort of the drugs thing too. And how drinking, I mean, I think in all areas of our life, we make decisions that aren't as beneficial when we do start drinking. I did this post up on Instagram. Like 90% of the time things went sideways in my life.

I was drinking or somebody else was. And without that in the mix, like things were okay. But, you know, I had that sort of that sort of stretch too with the drinking and the cocaine. And I, you know, it was a weird like thing for me. But yeah, every time then when I was in that, when I would drink, we're at the bar. I thought I was so slick, man. Like, nobody knows I'm popping into the washroom. I mean, I even got fired from a job.

I worked at this place, Red Robin. It's a burger chain in the U.S. And they have an open kitchen. And they didn't have an employee washroom. So I'm flipping burgers, but I've got this cocaine habit on the side. So I'm going out to the customer washroom like, I don't know, every half an hour. And so they called me in. It was devastating at the time.

But you look back at it now and they called me in like and I knew what was going to happen. So I never showed up. But it was a really interesting phase too. But I'll never forget, man. Even on that tangent, I'll never forget that was like really the only time my life when I woke up and heard the birds. And I was so depressed and so anxious and so sad because you're still like. up and the birds are waking up at four or five in the morning. And I'm just like, I never want that again for my life, man. Yeah. I can relate big time. Just the anxiety that would come with that,

it was just too much, just too much. I remember one time, one of my first jobs, I was working, new home sales, selling new houses, a nice subdivision. I also worked full time at the time at Staples Head Office. And so I was working basically two jobs, nine to five. I would work at this office. And then in the evenings, I would go to this and sell new homes from the subdivision. So I was working seven days a week. I was working Saturday, Sunday, and I was working Monday to Friday.

And I would work Tuesday, Thursdays in the evening. So I was just burnt out working like crazy. And I remember one night I went out. And I had to work in the morning, a Sunday morning. I had to work. I think it was like 10 a.m. And I was still partying. And I remember going to my friends.

I'm like, fuck, I got to work in a few hours. And I just, I had so much stress and so much anxiety that I just, I didn't know what else to do, but to continue partying. And I just didn't show up to work. And I just didn't call anybody. And I just, I just went, I disappeared. And I remember it was like the Monday when everything was kind of coming together. I was like, holy fuck.

And I made up the worst excuse of what happened. And shortly after that, like, I stopped doing that. But like, I stopped working there. But it's scary. Like, you know, like, it totally takes grip. And then once it's gone, it's like so hard to stop. And I did that like for years, Brad, like back and forth for years. So really long time.

And like, it's scary, getting sober. It's so scary. It's like, what does my life look like? how am I going to socialize? How am I going to make friends? How am I going to have fun? All these things. But as you know, Brad, you've been at this longer than me.

It's the best thing. It truly is. It's like getting through the beginning and like the adjustments and getting used to things again, you know, having that identity shift, like getting to know you and prioritizing yourself. But then once you kind of have momentum and the beautiful thing about today is there's such an incredible community online in person. there's so many more people that are choosing not to drink for different reasons.

And to just be a part of that, it's so uplifting. And you meet people that are doing it, that are enjoying their life. It's like, fuck yeah. Let's keep going. Yeah. So it gets you fired up. Yeah. It does.

It's all those times, man, that, yeah. Like, I think I always knew I could do better and like I should be doing better. And I should. There was always that confliction with me about the way I grew up and the way I was raised. And like, you know, the alcohol was one thing. It wasn't anything that necessarily a ton of people were like looking down on. But all of the other stuff that kind of came with it, it just kind of opened the door for everything else. Right.

And then just, I feel like it just, the alcohol always just lowered my standards that I had for myself. And it was just like, okay, let's get a little bit lower. And then when you get there, it's just, it's easier to go a little bit lower and a little bit lower. Big time. And then soon, I think we find ourselves in a spot that we said, nah, I'll never, I'll never end up there. And then we can find ourselves in that spot. Interesting, though, back to I picked up on sort of your perception of what sobriety would be like, right? Because I think it's an really important role that has to happen in the process is about changing our beliefs around giving up drinking, getting sober, whatever it is, right?

Starting the process, being curious about what else is out there. And some of your beliefs, too, because I know with how you're brought up, French Canadian, right? And drinking being part of that, you know, and a lot of those things. I mean, how did you start to chip away at sort of your beliefs of what, you know, sobriety would look and feel like? Yeah, that took time. You know, that didn't happen. That didn't happen overnight. It took a long time. And that's something actually that I struggled with the most is going back to, you know, family, my roots and just alcohol was just such a prominent thing. That it was like going against the grain and not partaking, I struggled with for a long time. So it took a lot of

patience. It took a lot of shitty moments and a lot of struggle and perseverance that keep pushing through. And then eventually when I got wind of all the benefits that I was seeing, right, my clarity, my confidence, I was doing better at work in sports. And I got into distance running and I got pretty good at it. I started becoming proud. And once I was proud of what I was doing, I cared more about maintaining the growth and the progress than I did people pleasing.

Because if you just simplify what that is, we're putting others ahead of us. We don't want to let them down. And that was me to the core for like my whole life. And for the first time, I started just been like, no, I'm going to, prior to, me over you, everything changed. And I think a lot of people started, they had no choice, but to either respect what I'm doing for myself or just get the fuck out of the way. That's it,

because I'm not, I'm not changing because of you. And I think that self-assuredness and that confidence was a game changer for me because that was not me. Like when I was back in the, in the cycle, that was not me. I was insecure. I needed validation. I needed you to like me and I cared a lot about that. Yeah. That's like a common trend out there. I hear it all the time, people pleasing,

right, wanting to fit in. But you're right, though, we sell ourselves short throughout that process and I can relate to that 100%. I mean, I got in some of the biggest trouble in my life trying to just impress people.

Like literally, like I got in, you know, a lot of trouble just trying to impress people. The whole thing where I got, got in trouble at the end and why I went to jail for a year. That whole thing, when I take back the layers, there was an older dude that I wanted to fit in with it in press. And I went out, went outside of what I actually believed in life and what I actually did to make that happen.

And it was like, was a hard, hard lesson to learn that I can't be doing that. Like I got to do, you know, what's best for me type deal. So I'm with you on that to learn that in some ways. What always stood out to me in the chats we had. too was it took you five years to kind of share this and you know maybe start that process of being proud or maybe you already were about your sobriety but you've said before in our conversations like advice to other people's like don't do that start sharing about it get support get help and realize these benefits i mean where are you out with that now yeah no i i would say the same thing i mean i don't have any regrets truly i think everything happens uh you know for a reason

and everything brought me to where I am today. And look, I'm happy where I am today. So I wouldn't change a thing. But a lot of the things that I talk about in my coaching with my groups, it's that you don't need to wait X amount of days, months, to start being proud of the journey you're on. And I think connecting with other people, because I isolated, right?

In those five years, yeah, I wasn't drinking, but I was isolating. I was declining a lot of events. Or I would go and I would leave super early. And I didn't really have any other people in my life that I could relate to that understood what I was going through. Even my wife, right? You know, my wife still drinks and nothing against that. That's good for her.

But she doesn't have that like other gear that I have. So you go nuts. You drink. But she doesn't, like I said, she won't push it as far as I will. So I didn't have anyone else that I knew that I could lean on that I could, you know, confine it that I could connect with. And then like I mentioned, like once I hit that. five year mark. I made that post on LinkedIn. I'll create an Instagram account. I started connecting with people like you. I started feeling, I started feeling seen. I started feeling like I was

relatable. I wasn't alone. There's all these amazing people that are at the same journey. And like everything changed. So my journey had like two chapters, really. I mean, probably a lot more chapters than that, but just two bit to pivotal moments. One was where I was isolating a shame. private and the second one where I was proud, loud, and just connecting with people. You know, I've met so many people online that have really changed my life and you're probably at the top of the list there, Brad. And there's a lot of people that, you know, I met in person as a result of this, right? Like I lead a run club, the sober strider run club. It's a sober, sober, sober, curious, sober supporter run club. And the only people I've met in person that are

sober curious, you know, they're thinking about maybe taking a break with alcohol or many people that have been on the journey for a long time. And like to meet them, to have them in my life where we're laughing, confining in each other, like, there's no better feeling. Yeah. Not with you, man. It makes a world of difference, right? It makes a world of difference surrounding yourself with people that are not only on the same journey, but people that are also interested in growth, I think. I think people when you put down, when you put down the drink, this magic happens. you stop drinking, this magic happens and your awareness becomes relevant again, you become aware again. It's like, what else can I work on? What else can I improve? How can I lean into support?

How can I be vulnerable? You know, we see it all the time in our groups, right? I do, and I'm sure you do as well, right? That person comes on. It's their first meeting, right? They're not one to share. They may be hesitant. And then boom, they share. The door blows off the hinges, right? And it's like, when you see that, it brings me so much joy because I know that that process is going to start taking place for once they felt like they were comfortable with where they were at, you know? And I think sort of that's always my approach. And I see a lot of that from you too. It's like, we're just meeting people where they're at. It's not like, you know, and I love that. We're connecting with people that are sober curious, right? Just to show them what it's all about.

Like there's nothing I can do personally to keep or get somebody sober. Like that's an individual. quest. I can help people out and support them and other people can too, but I think it's so great to just kind of hold that space for people that are interested to have a look under the hood and kind of see what's going on here. That's right. Absolutely, Brad. You nailed it. I mean, I think we're very similar in that aspect. And the other thing, too, that I know that we talk a lot about in our groups. And I think that's something that helps a lot, too, is it's not, it's, it's hard, hey? Like, let's take a step back. Like, this journey is fucking hard. But I think that's what makes it so special. Because if it was easy, it wouldn't be what it is. It's hard

because it's worth it. Everything in our lives that we fight for, it takes time and patience. This is no different. So when you accept that it's really hard, you can also give yourself a bit of grace when shit doesn't go right. And what separates people who are getting after it versus people who aren't is their ability to bounce back when shit doesn't go right. It's like, okay, so what? Now what am I going to do? Today is a new day. And Brad, I hear you saying this all the time.

It's one day at a time. It's a one fucking day at a time. And I hear you say me all the time, I'm not going to drink for today. I'm not drinking for today. And I hear you, your Instagram too. Who's not drinking today? Who's starting a new year? So like these, it truly is a one.

It's a reset one day at a time because you and I, Brad, is as far along. as we are on the journey, we're both one decision away from a different day, totally different day, totally different week and a totally different life. So we can't take it for granted. That's the enemy in the journey is complacency. I'm sure you've seen it with people your coaching. I've seen it too. People think they have it. They disengage. They do their thing. I'm good. I got this thing beat. And then they take it for granted. They're not. staying connected or whatever they were doing that helped them. And then I hear back from them, hey, Luke, you know, things, things, I slipped a bit.

It's okay. Hey, that happens. But like, let's get back to like what got you there. And it's not that we need to obsess about the journey. It's like, oh, my God, I'm obsessing all the time. But we need to keep sharp. Yeah. Well, remain mindful of what we're on.

Right. And continue to work. It's so interesting. you bring that up, Luke, because I've been thinking a lot about that too. And I look at it like a journey of, you know, say a gym, right? You go to a gym every day. You get the muscle or whatever it is, whatever you are looking for. You achieve those goals, right? You get there. I don't ever hear anybody say, now I'm going to just quit going. Like you know in that situation, if you want to maintain, you have to continue to show up and do everything else, right, with what your goals are.

But yeah, it is sometimes in the sober journey and this level of support that we get could change over time. But yeah, I don't know if it's ever like the right thing to just unplug completely and just kind of move on because, yeah, you do hear it. It happened. But I also love the approach too of somewhere along the line, man. I don't know where it, though the whole psychology behind it because I struggled with it too when I first started. Somewhere along the line, we feel like if we're on a journey of not drinking and we drink again, we've just completely. We've completely failed. We throw in a towel. Everything was for nothing. And I have these conversations with people all the time. And it's like, hey, just because you drank again doesn't

mean you didn't learn something. It doesn't mean you can't get back up. But we are so hard on ourselves to just say, forget about it, let the shame take over, feel embarrassed, would not come back to what we were so plugged into before. And my thing is always for people like, what was was we can't come back and change it but we got right now we got to get back up and just put that stuff behind us you know but it's that tough because you know I was there I was there and I'd go hide out for another six months not saying big time and dig a huge greater yes exactly and that's like keeping track of days is really cool it worked for me and I love the you know the like the tracker it's cool but the downside what the tracker is if you do have a slip up

and you do drink. So you had 60 days, right? Or whatever, 90 days, whatever you had, a week. And you drink, it's like the clock resets. And I say, fuck that. That's bullshit. Because all the growth and all the progress that you've showed for yourself, it doesn't just go away because you had a drink.

Like you said, you learned about yourself. What happened? Let's figure it out. Maybe what could I have done differently in that situation? Or what do I know more about myself? Because it happened. Because in my experience, right, coaching people, helping people, these things are an important part of the journey. Like, you need to kind of have that sometimes, depending on the person, to like get closer to your truth.

It's like, I know I can't touch that shit because I just did and I just went right back to where I was. It's okay. You're not alone. That shit happens. But it's like, get back up. Get back up. Today's a new day. And that's why the, you know, the days is great to talk about.

it's awesome, but it's also like, be careful with that because I don't believe in the clock resetting at zero. Yeah. Yeah, it's so true. Yeah, that's sort of the, that's the flip side of it, right? If you track your days, you know, some people too, I've heard people come at the, come at it like, you know, say I drank one time this year. I got 364 days out of 365.

You know, however, you know, I'm definitely not here to, you know, invent a wheel or reinvent the wheel. Everything I do is to support people with their goals. And that's the way I go about things because I could have my expectations for how everybody should just get to this, this finish line here, which doesn't exist. And so it's to meet people with what, you know, what are their goals? And I think that's the same way that you kind of approach things about what are their goals. And people are already hard enough on themselves.

I think it's so important to encourage people and to pick people up and, you know, share our own experiences. Like people see where we're at now. And I was thinking about this the other day because I introduced myself to, people and sometimes they ask what I do and I'm like you know I do a podcast and like you know whatever and they're like oh well what got you started on that you know and if I get into the story people look at me sideways you're like yeah what the heck are you talk like you're you're on some right now man what are you talking about that's how you used to live right or if they see the pictures or

but what I you know I was talking to my wife the other day and I said you know what like I don't know if a lot of people realize the amount of work in the rinse and repeat that went into And I'm saying like myself as a product, but I'm not really a product, but who I am today. And I'm not done with the work. There's still like a lot of stuff to do. You know, every day something or every month or something, it's new goals and new heights to reach. But I think sometimes we forget or sometimes we see other people like, man, they're so successful or they're sober for so long. And we lose sight of like the serious grind that has to take place or had to,

take place for me anyway in the beginning. And things look different now than they do then. But yeah, when I share people, when I share with strangers like, the story, it's like they're, I mean, they're shaking their head like they're, they don't believe it, you know, because it just, and that's like my thing is like people change, man. People change, make a difference and it can happen no matter where you're at, you know, where we have a guy inside of the suburb motivation community he's 69 today actually when he's been sober for like 40 plus years just still plugging in still plugging in that's incredible um because realizes how important it is not only to give back but also to to stay you know in the game and plug into the conversation luke anything else um that you would

like to share you know for anybody maybe maybe a good takeaway for people that maybe struggling yeah it um It's a fucking beautiful journey. It's a really special journey. Be proud. Lean into it. The community is there's so many amazing people that are after it. And just because you know, you're choosing to be sober, drink less, be more mindful for your own journey. Like, like, have fun.

Like smile. Like, don't take yourself so seriously. I thought because I was sober, I had to be a fucking stiff ass. Walk all proper. Everything's per. Like, fuck that. Fuck that. I go back to my childhood. I laugh. I laugh more now than I laughed before. And I have more fun now than I've ever had. So remember that. It's a beautiful journey. Don't let anybody in your life, friends, family, colleagues, anybody in your life make you feel bad for choosing to prioritize yourself and feel good as much as you can. Don't let the noise get in the way. Because listening to that noise is probably what got you into trouble in the first place. It got me into trouble. So if you're doing great, keep going.

And like you say, Brad, let's not drink for today. Yeah, love that, man. Beautiful. And it also stood out to me too about just about getting back up. You know, I've heard a lot of people. Like, it's never a thing, right? There's always that fine balance, like that balance about like you, you know, maybe you got you had to learn something else, right?

So maybe I had to go and drink and figure it out. It's not going to work. But, you know what I have heard? A lot of people after they get a little bit of, time and then they do have a drink, they reflect back and they say, you know what, I needed that. Because I thought I could still figure it out. I really just kind of coming back around to that. I think that's a really important thing is just to reflect. And I love that at the end too, right? We shared favorite quotes in the meeting this morning. And one of the quotes somebody shared was

other people's opinions of me or none of my business. You know, and I think that that's a really powerful thing, right, to just stay in our own lane and do what we know is best for us. despite what others think. We already did that. We've already done what everybody else wants us to do and it ended us up in a tough spot. Thank you, Luke, so much. My pleasure, man. Thanks for having me, Brad. Yeah. Well, there it is. Another incredible episode here on the podcast. Huge shout out to Luke and Malen for jumping on here and give us an update and some insights on how the journey has been for them. If you haven't left a review for the show yet, jump over to Apple or Spotify

and drop a review. That would be incredible if you're enjoying the updates. Drop that in there too. And if you can connect with either of their stories, be sure to send them a message over on Instagram. I'll drop their handles down in the show notes below, and I'll see you on the next one.