Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - The Hidden Cost of Alcohol | Mike’s Sobriety Story

Episode Date: June 26, 2026

What is alcohol really costing you?In this episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, Mike shares how alcohol slowly became part of his daily life without obvious warning signs. He kept his job, raised a family, and looked successful on the outside—but after quitting drinking, he realized alcohol had quietly taken far more from him than he ever imagined.We talk about growing up as a preacher’s kid, chasing acceptance, becoming a functioning daily drinker, and why you don’t have to hit rock bottom to question your relationship with alcohol. Mike also opens up about the moment he finally stopped drinking, what surprised him most about sobriety, and why being fully present with his family is worth more than any drink.If you’ve ever wondered whether alcohol is holding you back, if you’re exploring sobriety, or if you’re trying to quit drinking, this conversation is for you.In this episode:Why functioning drinking can be hard to recognizeThe hidden cost of alcoholWhy people drink beyond just having funGray area drinking and daily alcohol useWhat changes after quitting alcoholLiving fully present in sobrietyWhether you’re sober, sober curious, in early recovery, or supporting someone with an alcohol problem, we hope this episode reminds you that you don’t have to lose everything before choosing a different path.Mike On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mikekinnebrew/Sober Motivation Mobile App: https://apps.apple.com/app/sober-motivation-app/id6759266291Sober Motivation Website: https://www.sobermotivation.comSupport the Podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/sobermotivationContact me anytime: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The bigger consequence, as you know, is that I was able to go down this road for the better part of 15 years of missing out on my life while I was pretending to go to the moon with alcohol. I never went to the moon. You know, you never really did any of the great things you thought you did when you were drinking. It was all a lie. It was all an illusion. Today's conversation is for anyone who's ever wondered, do I have a problem with alcohol? story isn't one of losing everything overnight. He kept his job, raised his family, and looked like he had it all together. But over time, he realized alcohol was costing him something much harder to see. It was quietly stealing parts of his life. And this is Mike's story on the Sober Motivation podcast. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Mike with

us. Mike, how you doing? Doing great. Yeah, man. We connected years ago on the podcast. Yeah, back in the beginning. I know. Like, I can't even really remember exactly how many episodes in I was, but it wasn't a lot. You were rocking and rolling, though. I was just on Instagram and found you, and it was a big part of the beginning of my sober journey, was finding your profile on Instagram. And, you know, there's a lot of people out there doing that, but yours resonated with me, what you were saying and what you were doing.

And, yeah, I was only months into sobriety when I found you. Yeah, so cool, man. So what were things like for you growing up? Well, I was a preacher's kid and we moved around a lot. I lived in a different state just about every year for the first seven or eight years of my life. Or, you know, longer than that, I didn't settle in anywhere until I was in middle school. And so Baptist preacher's kid, you can imagine super conservative family, no alcohol in the house, know anything in the house.

You know, the closest I came to seeing anything like that was the old men at the church smoking cigarettes before they'd walk in. But, you know, real conservative. I was kind of a troubled kid. I just, I didn't want to be the preacher's kid. I didn't want to be the good kid. So I would kind of rebel against that. I think that's pretty normal.

So I would act out in small ways in elementary. in middle school and then in high school, I started acting out in bigger ways. We moved to Georgia, just about 20 minutes east of Atlanta. And my dad was no longer a preacher. He was a seminary professor, but still, you know, in church all the time. And I was the new kid in Georgia and new kid in my school and looking to fit in and trying to make friends. And so I started acting out.

And that was when I first touched any alcohol for. for the first time was in ninth grade and loved it. But it blew up pretty quickly. I got caught every time I tried to do anything like that. And so I had a pretty short run with alcohol in high school because I was getting in so much trouble and every time I tried to do anything I got caught that I pretty much

crashed and burned in 10th grade where I had been arrested and I got sent away to live in a children's home for a year. And so I wasn't drinking. I wasn't doing any kinds of drugs. I really committed my life to Christianity and to being the kind of person that I thought God wanted me to be. And when I left the Georgia Baptist children's home, as a junior in high school. I came back to high school in my old hometown. I didn't drink, didn't do any kinds of drugs, and just lived a pretty good life. So that was young. That was my, that was my growing up was a lot of instability, a lot of trouble in early on in high school. But then junior year and senior year of high school, I was just kind of a good kid.

Yeah. Thanks for sharing that too, man. When you reflect back on that, like, what's the insight on why things kind of took off the way they did? I mean, was it kind of what you touched on too of, you know, just sort of rebelling a little bit? I feel like I've heard this story a lot before, you know, from people in similar situation. Yeah. I was, I think the reason that I got into those things, I mean, if I just wanted to be loved and accepted, you know, I didn't have a hunger. for a specific activity, whether it was drugs or, you know, getting into trouble. We were breaking into cars in my neighborhood and getting into fights, if you can imagine me,

getting into fights. And I didn't have any kind of desire to do those things. I felt bad after I did those things. I just wanted to feel a part of some community, you know, know, and if everybody was drinking and that was the way to be a part of it, then that was, if everybody was eating Twizzlers, I would have done that. It wouldn't have mattered. You know, I just wanted, the thing wasn't the issue. I just wanted acceptance and community. But I will say, I really enjoyed the feeling I got when I drank. And I would have kept going with that if I

hadn't gotten caught in my life hadn't kind of imploded so early on where I got, you know, got arrested, got sent away. If those things hadn't happened, then I would have kept going with alcohol and drugs. Because of all the things that I did to fit in, I really enjoyed that one, because it made me feel warm and fun and, you know, you know, secure, confident, happy, no matter what was going on, it kind of made me feel. So that would be, you know, if you hit pause on my life as a 17, 18 year old, and then you'd have to fast forward all the way to like when I was about 30, when I reintroduced those things into my life. But from, you know, so I would say, you know, what sent them off, sent me down that direction

was just looking for looking for something to feel some kind of hole i wasn't happy you know i didn't feel accepted or loved or at least not by the people i wanted to be accepted and loved by and um so that was what set me off in that direction i think yeah man i relate to that so much dude so much of when i look back to all of the trouble that i got in like i knew better like i came from a good family with good values and they were they were really good role models so I knew better but I just wanted to fit in man and I was willing to do whatever it kind of took but unknowingly at the time like it wasn't something I consciously thought about okay I want to be accepted I want to fit in so I'm gonna go yeah do what you know Joe thinks is cool or hang out at the bush parties or get in all

of this trouble to have a place to land I see I wasn't really a sports guy I really, like I was kind of like below the tier to do the school sports. You know, I would get cut from the teams and wouldn't make it and got in too much trouble. And I wasn't an academic guy. So this was kind of like the third basket that I found I could kind of be in it. It's like the troublemaker get attention. When I reflect back on that, man, I got in so much trouble. And I have three kids now.

We were talking about that earlier. I'm just like, if these kids even got in like, 10% of the trouble I got in and what I was doing. Like, I don't, I have no idea how I would, you know, work through that because I just, I just couldn't see past Friday night. It was so interesting to like sort of the foundational, you know, elements of, of everything in that stage. So you mentioned too there, there's a big gap.

You know, I mean, you get things on track. You go away, you know, for school and you start plugging into things. that are important to you. I mean, how does that all look like? Where do you go after high school and stuff? Yeah, well, I mean, I definitely, you know, it was like you're reading from my biography that, you know, I wasn't the athlete,

I wasn't the smart kid. I didn't come from the family that everybody, you know, as far as immediate identity and belonging, I didn't have any of those things. And so I'll just be the guy that will do anything. I'll be the guy that'll be crazy, be whatever. And I would have chosen one of the other ones to fit in if I could. And like you said, none of us want to think of ourselves in the moment as I'm doing this to fit in.

We don't think that. We tell ourselves, you know, all kinds of things about who we are and why we do the things that we do. But it's only in retrospect that you look back and you go, I think I only did that because I was searching. I didn't think I really wanted to do that. But yeah, so after high school, I started playing music, started playing guitar and singing and writing songs. And that became a way for me to have an identity that got me attention that I really wanted. And so I would say that may have been something that also kept me away from the other stuff, the more negative things. So I started playing music.

And turned 21. I remember being at a concert on my 21st birthday at in drink. And I thought, here I am like, I don't think it's wrong to drink. You know, I was, again, coming from that super conservative background, you were sort of taught. It wasn't said to me that it was sinful. But you sort of, it sort of was communicated that, you know, if you're good, you won't do this. But I didn't think it was wrong. But I remember being at a club in Atlanta,

watching one of my favorite bands play, and it was my birthday, and thinking, I should, but I didn't. I just didn't, for whatever reason, didn't care. And I was just enjoying life and playing music. And I had a girlfriend, had good friends, I guess maybe because I belonged. I had community.

I had something to call my own that I enjoyed doing, that people said I was good at doing, that I guess I didn't see a need to scratch an itch, that alcohol could maybe meet Anita had. And so then you fast forward to when I'm like in my late 20s that we had some friends coming over. I got married. My wife, Lindsay, she has no problems with alcohol. She likes wine.

She likes beer. But we didn't really keep it around the house. And we had some friends coming over and I knew they liked to drink. So I was like, well, let me get some stuff in the fridge. Just we're cooking out. You know, so I remember being on the phone with the guy, like, take me down the aisle, tell me like, what? I'm in the grocery store.

Like, what do you want? He's, you know, where's this? And so I'm grabbing the stuff and I have it all in the fridge when they come over. And we have a good time. And I maybe drank a little bit and didn't really like it. but it was all still in the fridge. At the same time, I had another friend who was a professional tennis player. And I would go and hang out with him.

And he was really kind of famous. His star was on the rise in professional tennis. He had a pretty big profile in Atlanta. And I was a good friend of his, and I wanted to fit in with him. And the fact that I didn't drink, didn't know what I drank, didn't know what I liked or whatever. I remember being at his house once. And he was like, all right, let's figure out, when you're at these events, you're going to need to order something. Let's figure out what you like.

And so he gets into his bar and he's like, here's, you know, I think I was like, well, I like a, I like a Mike's Hard Lemonade. And he was like, no, you can't, you can't do that. And I go, why, that tastes good? And so, okay, well, fine. Like, so let's figure out what I can drink to be. He goes, well, here's vodka tonic. This is, you know, acceptable anywhere. You won't look like a frat guy.

You won't look like a, you know, it's not like rum and Coke. You look like a party animal. And, you know, and so we're trying these different things. I go, okay, well, I kind of like that. And so being around some of these social settings around Atlanta or everybody was drinking and ordering these drinks and getting that feeling that I hadn't had since 10th grade getting loosened up, you know? And being in social, I'm kind of an introvert, being in social situations where I feel intimidated and I'm around people that I think are more

important than me. And having that drink in my hand made me feel like an adult. It made me feel confident. And when I drank one, I felt like everything was going to be all right. And when I drank two, I felt like everything might actually be kind of good and I might be kind of cool. And so that set me down that road. And it was so slow, man, where there was no discernible problem with it. I found kind of the same thing at home when we'd have guests over, you know, having one beer. That was pretty good. And two beers was like, man, this is a fun night. Three beers was like, I'm my best self right now.

And so it just, again, I can't emphasize how slow it happened. But the tally of what I was drinking at dinner or out with friends. would just slowly over the course of years get higher and higher and higher. So I'll stop. I bet you've got something to add or something to ask. Well, I just think it's such a relatable story for so many people. I think there's kind of people fall into this maybe in different ways, right? The high school thing starts or maybe it's really leaning in college, right?

Because college can be kind of uncomfortable and, you know, we're away. from the nest so you know makes more sense to lean into partying and then there's this side of the story too where it's really slow rolling there's no red flags we're not really drinking any different than people around us maybe even less it sounds like you know in in the beginning of hey let me kind of show you you know what you're interested in i mean did you have anything kind of come up like hey i had a problem with this you know grade nine and 10 like i could again or is it like hey my life is pretty good. I'm pretty stable right now. I couldn't see this ever being like that again. Yeah. So I did not have the, I didn't have the family history, you know, where, where you can go,

hey, look, this could be dangerous for me. And when I was in, when I was in high school doing it, again, I played around with it, but not enough to know if I had a problem. Not, you know, I played, I partied, I got drunk, I did whatever, like my friends did, but not, I didn't have, I didn't, the road was too short for me to even find out if I had an issue with it, like an addiction or something like that. So I, yeah, so it never really came up. And by the time I started experimenting or introducing it back into my life in my late 20s, my history with it was, was, so far in the past that it was it never really came up because my history with it was like months long. I didn't have much history with it. I didn't have much experience with it. I just sort of like got into it real quick. It blew up real quick and I got out of it. And so it just never came up. If anything, when I started drinking, it was more like a round of applause for Mike who's finally

getting with the program, you know, because I was friends with a lot of great people, none of whom had a problem with alcohol or drugs. And so when I was, you know, drinking around them, it was like, all right, good for you, you know. And it wasn't a bunch of alcoholics saying, yeah, come on, get in here and, you know, live for less like we are, you know. It was more just like, all right, you know, Mike's going to have fun now too. Mike's, oh, look at you, you're ordering. Oh, you finally like beer. You finally like. finally like whatever. So it looked very healthy. And I don't mean to call out any of my friends because those people, that community that I was in at the time, none of them had a problem with

alcohol. They were just, you know, they were just normal people that like to have a drink here and there. They had no idea that I would take it and run with it far, far, far beyond where they were. Yeah. What do you think it is or what was it for you that all these people around you, they're not taking it sort of to what you're hinting at there, the next level. But you did. Yeah. Two things. One is my personality. I've got what is lovingly referred to as an addictive personality. So, you know, if you give me a family bag of candy, I'm going to eat it all.

I'm going to eat it until it's gone and make myself sick. And, you know, if I get into something, I get in big time. So I don't, I do better with just not having, you know, portion control and diets and stuff. Some people can do that. Lindsay, my wife can do that. I have to say with diets, I just can't have that, you know, because if I can have it, then it's okay. And if it's okay, then I can have all of it, you know.

So I'd say that's the first thing. It's just my personality and a lack of self-control. And then the second thing, which is also very, very important, is that I changed the community that I was around. Not intentionally. We moved, and so I was not around those people as much anymore, moved to a different community, kind of a mid-sized town in Georgia, around a sort of that kind of country club atmosphere, where the norm of drinking was way different than it was in my previous home and my previous community,

where it was very normal to drink at lunch, to drink at dinner. It was very normal to ask for a roadie and take it in the car with you. It was just, and I was kind of, I was, at first you were sort of, wait, taken aback by it. Like this isn't, like red flags, like this is probably not okay, you know. But then also there just seems to be in this in this little niche part of the town. The whole city is not like this, but that's part of the community. A very attractive looking freedom of like we can do whatever we want, you know. It is life is a party and we're successful and we're wealthy and we're attractive.

And we kind of do what we want around here. And so that goes against all my values. But you know as well as I do. You got your values and then you've got, you know, just who you are as a frail human being who that was attractive to me. I go, wow, that looks amazing. That looks fun. That looks, you know. So the two things, my addictive personality.

But then also I was all of a sudden around people who. relationship to alcohol was a lot different. So as I ramped it up, I didn't look weird. If I had stayed around that original group when I ramped it, I may have never ramped it up because I would have looked weird. I like to, I want to fit in. I want to be one of the group. I don't want to be the weirdo in the group. So that may have kept me in check if I had stayed around people who were doing it responsibly. But I got around a sort of a different community that had a different threshold. And so I did not look weird around them. Yeah, as things start to ramp up. I mean, I think that that's a really good point to make to the people that we surround ourselves with.

You know, because if that's all you see, I think there's an element of it too that just becomes normal. Like, ah, you know, it's all it's all I see. It's what people are doing. Even though we know we had that little gut instinct of, hey, like this is a little bit strange, but it's what you see and other people seeming to enjoy it and make it work. And yeah, the country club, you know, playing a lot of golf at this time in your life? Never played around to golf. Tennis, tennis? I love tennis, yeah.

I play tennis. But the country club is great. And there are people that we love there. It's beautiful. And I say country club, when I was doing that, I wasn't even a member of the country club. It was just that atmosphere. That was the people that I was

around, but I was around a lot of very affluent people who kept jobs. Their lives, to me, their lives didn't look like they were imploding or anything, but they definitely had a different

set of rules when it came to alcohol. Yeah. What in those moments, what, because I'm guessing it came up, right, too. You mentioned like your values and hey, this stuff, you know, taking roadies and all this stuff is against what, you know, you know is right. Did your desire to just fit in and be part of the community sort of outweigh the experience and everything that you brought, you know, through your life up into that point?

Like, probably not. I don't know if it's even something that we thoroughly go through. it out at the time? Maybe it was. Like, what was your experience there? Like, was there some friction of like, I don't know. I wish I could say there was more friction, you know? A better man would have, would have wrestled with it more. But I was getting away with it. You know, and again, I, so we moved to this town so my wife could go to medical school and I got a job. I'm still playing music and bars and clubs, but she's in medical school, she's not making any money. So I'm the breadwinner. And to supplement the little I'm making playing bars and clubs, I get a job as a music

director at a church. I'm a church kid. I know how to do this. So they have a service, you know, more of a contemporary service. So it's not the organ and the choir. It's the guitar and the band and I can do this and so the exact time that the the alcohol is is ramping up I'm I've moved here to be on staff at at a church so there's some friction there you're just going okay like is anybody going to start looking at me funny when I'm drinking you know out in public and because again I mean my upbringing was you wouldn't do that in public even responsibly because it was so conservative but but nobody batted an eye at it so um so as long as nobody was looking at me funny then i just go okay well carry on you're having a great time and you know i never didn't show up

for a meeting never didn't show up for work never did subpar work i was able to to keep it going You know, my story of sobriety is not one of ending up in a ditch and public humiliation and everybody found out. And so as long as I was getting away with it, I just kept going and laying on my bed at night, you know, tallying up. All right, how many did I have? It just kept getting more and more and more. Yeah. That's so, yeah, I mean, I've heard, you know, this story in a roundabout way. So many times.

And I'm always, but I'm always, yeah, yeah. But I'm always so curious about what goes on on the inside, you know, because it's kind of like shaping up, you know, two different lives, right? Like I see it this way as like trying to keep everything together. Like, of course you don't want to be late. Of course you don't want to miss stuff. Of course you don't want people to know sort of what's going on, you know, maybe behind the scenes or how this is impacting you or how badly you feel about it.

as well. So it's like I show up, I do what I have to do, I overachieve, I outperform. I, and I wonder like to how much of that, if it, if it's even a thing is to compensate with that voice maybe between our ears that, hey, this really isn't what we want to be doing or stuff. I don't know if that's relatable or anything. You know, I think it is relatable. I think, you know, what turns out. that voice down is alcohol. So I was able to quiet that voice by drinking more. And, you know, I think, I wish I could say that we were talking earlier when you're in, when you're younger, you're not thinking I'm doing this to fit in. You're not having, you tell yourself

all kinds of things. And I think it's the same when you're older. You tell yourself what you need to tell yourself to do what you want to do. So I'm not that bad. I'm not the worst one I know. I'm getting away with it. I'm showing up for work. Nobody is saying anything to me. So yeah, the lying that I did to myself definitely enabled me to just keep kind of getting

deeper and deeper into something that was shrinking my life down to a shadow of. of what I should be. Yeah. When you're in it, though, it's impossible or near impossible to have that vision. That's why I tell people, like, if you want to see the impact that alcohol is really having on your life, you have to step away from it for a bit. I mean, I don't tell you don't have to be sober forever, teach their own, wherever people want to go with it.

But when you're right there with it day in and day out and that's what we see all around us, it's very difficult to see the impact it's having on our life. Yeah. Yeah. That is how I got sober. It was that I was just hung over and said, I'm not drinking today. It was Halloween the day before I had drank all day and took enough time to sober up to take the kids out trick-or-treating. should not have been driving, but sobered up enough, relatively speaking, not actually.

And then as soon as I got back from trick-or-treating, started drinking again, and the next day just felt so sick that I can't do it today. And then the next day, I still felt not well, so I didn't do it that day. and then the next day I thought, I wonder if I can make it to Friday because I had never taken a break. From when I started going, and when it became every day,

it was just every day. And I just, I never took breaks. As soon as I would wake up, I'd go work out. I'd say I'd probably have my first drink around lunchtime and I would drink until I went to sleep. And so,

So, you know, dry January, no thanks. Not going to, not even going to try it. I think I didn't want to try it because I was afraid I would find out that I had a problem and I couldn't make it. Also, until things imploded, I didn't see, why would I? Why would I take something that I love out of my life for a month? You know, in the church, they have something called Lent. or you give up something for for lent from good for from from ash Wednesday until Easter it's about a month and a lot of people give up alcohol um every year lindsay would kind of

nudge me maybe you should you know give up yeah and I would just sort of tense up and you know back off of that like no I'm not not doing that but anyway I thought maybe I can make it to Friday and Friday came and I was, I had made it. To me, that was a big accomplishment. I've made it, you know, five days or whatever. And I was going to order my drink because I had made my goal. And something just said, you don't need to do that. Like it was the first time I think my, I was sober enough for my mind, my heart, my conscience to be honest with me and me to be sober enough to hear it to say, if you have this drink, you're going to go right back to where you were. And you are finally getting enough clarity.

Like you said, like the only way to know what kind of a monster this is in your life, if it is a monster is to step away from it, step outside, get some distance and turn back and look at it. And I had four days or whatever to turn back and look at it. And I was going, maybe I'm not ready to let that back in. And so I just kind of kept going and to try to just understand what this is in my life. And so I just kind of kept going. I go back to, you know, the same restaurants, the bars, the bartender, to see me and start making my drink.

I go, hold on. I'm not. I go, what? No? Yeah, I'm not drinking right now. I'm not drinking right now, I guess. Right now. I'm sure I'm going to drink, but I'm just right now.

I don't know. Something's going on. I'm not drinking right now. And man, that was, yeah, that was almost five years ago. And that's been it. The more distance I got from it, the more I realized this was a monster. And stuff I didn't think was that bad was really bad. And I was putting myself at risk.

I was putting my future at risk. I was putting my reputation, my job, my life, the life of my kids. like what the hell you know but it was not until i got some distance from it that i could see and i just realized like for me i can't do it i can't i was it was two years ago we were in turks and kakos and um i miss it i still miss it man i miss it all the time you know and uh but the kids and lindsay went to go do some kind of snorkeling thing and I didn't really want to do it. I want to stay back and get a massage. And so they went and I'm in this resort, you know, the all-inclusive, right, which is like everybody's there to drink what you paid. I'm going to drink. I bought it,

you know. Yeah. And it felt weird to be in that place and not have a drink. And I was in a bad mood for whatever reason. And I'm surrounded by people getting their drinks and getting in a good mood and I'm in a bad mood. And I thought, there's no law. Sure, I've been on Brad's podcast saying I don't do it. But like, I could have a drink. Like, I'm of age, I could do this.

And I'm in a bad mood. And this would make me feel better. And I just thought, if I. do this, whatever was wrong with me, however, I guess that was like three years, it's still wrong with me. Whatever that is in me that made me go, that, that I could not have any limits. I took it too far. I didn't have boundaries. I had an irresponsible relationship with it. I just knew that whatever that was that was wrong with me when I stopped, it is still with me.

If I thought that that was taken care of, then I would be open to drinking again. But I know, and I know it's talking to you today. That thing is still wrong with me. In my brain, so for other people can do it, I can't do it. Yeah. And I mean, that's good to highlight, too, that those times do pop up, you know, of like missing alcohol.

And I think too, like for me anyway, it's not the sense of missing alcohol, but it's like maybe that relief, that instant relief or kind of taking things to a next level. And sobriety, I think it's we're not like going to the moon every day where alcohol would take us there. But then you come down. You know, but then like when you fall down from the moon, it's terrible. And recovery to me is more of like ebbs and flows. but not highs and lows, as high and as low. And I think for a lot of people, it can be a struggle because I think a lot of people that drink,

they like chaos, they like the unpredictability, risk takers, like, you know, addictive personalities, like really attracted to a lot of those type of things and sobriety can feel uncomfortable because when you kind of peel back the layers, like the chaos kind of slides away. Like we don't really have a whole heck of a lot of that anymore. Or we're not just creating a part,

bunch more. I am really curious, too. Did anybody around you mention, like, hey, Mike, what's going on with the drinking? Are you struggling with drinking? Like, did you ever have a conversation with anybody to gain any insight with this? Like, how did that kind of play out? People around you. Can, I think I hit it pretty well, and I didn't have any glaring.

He has a, clearly he has a problem. You know, when I would drink too much, I didn't act a whole lot. different. I didn't get loud. I didn't get aggressive. I didn't, you know, so, so no one really knew how much I was drinking. Even, even my wife didn't know how much I was drinking. I worked from home. And so, you know, she would only see what she'd go to work. She'd come back. She didn't know what I had already done. So, but she would, there would be some time she would kind of challenge me a little bit, but it never got, never got heated, never got turned into a big fight. And I can remember one friend who was concerned enough to mention, hey, man, I see this and I see that. And like, hey, I think

you might have a problem. And I got really defensive with him. You know, it was the, how dare you, you know, get in mind your own business and got really mad, sort of, the, you know, and got really mad, and sort of the, to the point where he goes, okay, all right, sorry, you know, you punish people for caring for you enough to be honest with you. And, and they go, okay, well, then carry on, man. And so that was, but no, there was not a line of people. You know, that's a real problem. I think in the culture today is that we think that loving people means mining our business and staying out of it but you know sometimes loving people is is getting in their way standing in between them and the thing that is that is hurting them and could potentially cost them everything so shout

out to Tony who loved me enough to to get in my way and let me get mad at him and um I appreciate that and I need to be that for people also you know yeah yeah and that's a really good point there too because it's difficult to sort of confront or have a conversation with somebody that, you know, I think most of us know going into it, hey, this, like, this initial conversation is going to be really uncomfortable. And it might not land, but we have to start somewhere. I think it's much easier in life to just say nothing and look the other way, like that, you know, somebody else's problem like that, that can be much easier.

So that's cool that he had that conversation. I mean, any consequences that you did have from this? That whole idea, I think, of hiding it too, like a lot of people share. That's a full-time job, right? I don't know if it was your routine, but people, I got to take out the recycling and I got to do this and do, you know, I mean, there's so many elements went into a lot of people's thing about how they tried to keep other people off the case. Anything that I was not looking forward to doing, I was going to drink my way through it. Um, you know, so, uh, the Yeti, you know, uh, with, with alcohol in it, uh, going to anything I thought might bore me. I mean, forget something. I, you know, if it was just going to be boring,

well, then I'm going to bring alcohol with me and I, you know, reading online about ways to hide the smell of it, like reading on Reddit, like ways to, you know, to, to get away with drinking, uh, in public or, uh, at meetings or, or, uh, whatever, so humiliating than I ever did that, you know. And, but as far as consequences, no professional consequences, like I said, never got exposed. But I did, I did get arrested, I guess. I got taken in once for DUI or a DUI refusal. I got, I had played in Atlanta.

I had been out by my pool. It was a summertime. I was out by the pool. I'm drinking. I get a call from a venue and they say, hey, would you come and be a special guest and sing a couple songs at this venue? So I got in the car, which I shouldn't have done, you know, drive an hour or to Atlanta. And then I'm waiting to go on. I continue to drink. And then I sing my songs. I'm going to stay in Atlanta that night because after I sang the songs, I went out and found a place that was open late for wings, had some more to drink.

And then it's just like a two-mile drive to my in-laws home in a suburb of Atlanta. And I'm going to stay the night there. And I make an illegal turn into their neighborhood and a cop. It's probably two in the morning. Cop lights. And the first place I can pull over is in. my in-law's driveway. So I pull in there and it's two in the morning, blue lights flashing. My father and mother-in-law come stand out on the porch. And I'm thinking, oh, man, this is,

you better try and talk your way out of this, you know. And I'm hoping maybe because I'm already look, hey man, officer, this is where I'm sleeping. I am staying here tonight. Can we just, but he was, he was not in the mood. And he was real aggressive and I was not. And I was not. very convincing that I was fine. And so he got me to do the field sobriety test. And then when he asked me if I would do the breathalyzer, I refused. And he said, okay, well, then we're taking you in. So I spent the night in the Atlanta jail, the Fulton County jail that night and hired an expensive lawyer and got out of, got it pleaded down to, I think, reckless driving or something. And so got out, I shouldn't have gotten out of it, you know, money, money and a good lawyer got me out of it with just a, you know, fine and a reckless driving offense instead of a DUI.

So that was the consequence. The bigger consequence, as you know, is that I was able to go down this road for the better part of 15 years of missing out on my life. while I was pretending to go to the moon, you know, with alcohol. Because I never went to the moon. You know, you never really, you never really did any of the great things you thought you did when you were drinking. It just is, it was all a lie. It was all an illusion. So the last five years has been, like you said, ebbing and flowing, it's not all chaos and excitement and sexiness, but at least it's real.

and when I've told I'm pretty honest about missing certain things I miss that feeling of sitting down and when you're having a tough day and you have that first cocktail and you go

it's not so bad and you have a second cocktail and you go it's actually pretty good and I miss that immediate mood shifting and I haven't felt I smoke cigars every now and this I guess maybe

once every two or three days I'll smoke a cigar and that's the closest thing. I like drink coffee a lot. But nothing affects me as immediately and as drastically as alcohol did. I'm not the greatest guy in the world. I'm not the most, you know, the brilliant or funniest or most whatever. But at least I am 100% at my full potential. And that feeling of that taking me down where I'm not sure of what I'm saying,

I'm not sure of how I'm coming off, I'm not sure of how well I'm processing what's going on around me. I hate it now. So I've come to love sobriety because my two little brushes with gummies, I'm like, no, I don't want that. I don't want to be less than 100% me anymore. You know, I just, I want to be me. I want to be 100% me. And I want to find joy and happiness and fulfillment in what's real.

Yeah, beautiful story there, man. And I think that that's sort of how all of this slowly happens is we feel uncomfortable or, you know, something's going on with us. We lean in, alcohol checks the box so quickly, so cheaply. It's an easy reach. And then we lean on it. And while that's all happening, we lean less on less and less on healthier ways to help us feel at ease or, to be comfortable or to realize that life just sometimes is not going to be comfortable. There's going to be difficult moments and like that's okay, but to show up for it,

maybe that's where the magic is, to not be diluted with alcohol or any other substance, but to just go through it, work through it, feel it, experience it, instead of just avoiding it. I mean, I think as humans, we've taken this path of easing the pain, easing the, the discomfort and just alcohol. I mean, it's been years ago, but it really, you know, caught on as how people could do that and socialize and kind of work through all of that stuff. Yeah, man, so true. So true. You reach for something, whatever you're, if you don't like what you're feeling, reach for something. You don't have to feel it. And that's a, man, that's a pretty attractive offer. Especially, you know, my life was great. I can only imagine. I mean, so I was down in,

Naples, and I sang for a group called St. Matthew's House. And down there's a bunch of men who were in recovery. And before the show, this was just last, last Wednesday, I was talking to a guy named, Tony. And tell me, you know, he's from New Orleans. How'd you get down here? Because none of those people are from Naples. They all come from all over the place. And, um, tell me, you know, he's from New Orleans. How'd you get down here? Because none of those people are from all over the place. And when, when, when, when the bottom fell out and they come and they live down here, they work down here. And, and, you know, he had, he had lost his daughter. He had a little girl, his mother, I guess his girlfriend, her mother had been, you know, on drugs. She rolls over on, on the little little girl and suffocates her and she dies. And that sends him,

into, you know, deep, deep into alcohol to drown the sorrows, you know. You don't want to feel the sorrow of losing a child here. This will get you out of that. You know, I didn't have any kind of experience like that. I had a great life. I just didn't want to feel bored, you know, or I didn't want to feel a little bit uncomfortable or insecure. So I can only imagine people who are feeling really, really hard things.

And then the offer comes, hey, you know, You don't have to feel that. You could take this and not feel that. It's just the advertisement is cropped because it does not show you what comes with that. Yeah, 100%. In that story right there is a touching story. And in the reality, I think, for so many people. And this is why when I talk to people that probably in the same situation where you were at, Mike,

where it's like, hey, this is a slippery slope. You're headed that way. your buddy Tony comes to you, you're just like, oh, there's no way. I mean, life is good. I don't look like the other people who might be struggling with this or what they show in the movies. But what I share with those people that I talk to that maybe they're not ready to quit yet. Maybe they're just exploring their options, which is cool. Like everybody's got to figure it out what they want to do. But it only takes one experience like what you shared that that guy Tony shared with you that could happen to any of us in its own way.

If alcohol is still a part of our life, what's stopping us from being the next person to lean into it, to work through or to avoid or to numb what we're going through? And I think that's what a lot of people don't realize is that things are not going terribly bad for them in their life up to that point. But things could change on a dime in just the world we live in. And if alcohol is a part of our life, we open ourselves up for that to be a possibility.

I've heard it so many times where people are just cruising. Something happens. Don't seek help. Don't get support and lean into alcohol. And it goes off a cliff fast. Yeah, it goes from bad to worse. And it did for that Tony. Two Tony's in my story.

Both of them, pretty important ones. But yeah, he turned to it for that. that and ended up losing his home, losing his job in a police chase, running from the cops and in jail, and then ends up, you know, starting from nothing down there. And he was a successful businessman in New Orleans. And now he's a line cook in Naples in living in a, you know, in a recovery place. But I mean, thank God he's getting his life back together. So what do you, he's about to graduate from that program. What are you going to do? You're going back to New Orleans. He said, no way. He said, I'm staying down here. So yeah, the thing you reach for to rescue you

can be the thing that takes you down. Yeah, 100%. Looking back on coming up on five years here, what are some of your biggest takeaways, man? What would you share with other people, maybe something that surprised you along the way? Man, so many. I think, you know, talking about it is key. Put yourself on record. If you need, if you need accountability, if you need to make it real, if you are, if you're thinking about about taking a break from it or stop, talk about it. Say it out loud. And there's some power that comes from just speaking it out loud. So talking about it is great. And when you tell people what you're going through, it gives them permission to tell you. And so I can't tell you how many people have come to me because I talked about it. And they go, hey, I'm thinking

about doing that too. A lot of people followed your podcast because I talked about it and they're friends of mine that now are followers of sober motivation. And so it's been, I think talking about it is huge. Whether the early nerves, when you put it down, you know, when you, when you, you It was uncomfortable, man. There was a weird, almost nervousness or fear during the early days when I was sober because I was having to feel things I didn't feel when I was always reached for a drink. I never had to feel any of that stuff. And weathering those early days leads to much better days.

But it would have been really, really easy in those early weeks and months when I was feeling something I didn't like and I knew I don't have to. to feel this right now. I could just make a drink and that would go away. But that would have taken me right back to the very thing that was my problem. And I have not done a whole lot of things smart or right in my life, but the fact that I did not go back and make a drink, I'm so proud of that. And I personally, I thank God for that. And I would just encourage other people to do the same to weather the nerve. It doesn't mean something's wrong, just because you're feeling. uncomfortable, you're feeling nervous, you're feeling afraid.

It doesn't mean that's a sign that you've made a mistake. You need to go back and get a drink. It means that you are moving in the right direction. And life, you're getting the real life and not the illusion of life. Yeah. Well, for sure. I mean, what do they say? It's the hardest right before the breakthrough, you know,

right before you kind of get through something to the other. side and like that's relatable for i think a lot of people around 90 days you know kind of the pink the pink cloud can kind of wear off if that's part of people's story of like you're waking up feeling good and you know all of that stuff but then that can kind of wear off and it's like hey is this going to kind of be the the rest of life and yeah you just have to stay in there because yeah going back to drinking just restarts the whole whole cycle and a lot of people we tell ourselves this is a classic man we tell ourselves well i'm just going to have a drink tonight of course i'll quit again tomorrow. People sometimes takes decades for people to to come back from that one night,

as opposed to just weathering that storm, overcoming a craving, which they see on average is what, like 10 to 20 minutes, 10 to 20 minutes could save you two decades. Like, I'm all in on that all day. Were you ever worried what people would think? Maybe I asked you this the first time. Like, nobody really knew. And now you're sharing a story of not drinking. Yeah. You ever have those thoughts or no. Yeah, yeah, I do. It's a little embarrassing because I don't think people knew and because half of my life is, half of my, I guess my public facing life is as a guy that works at a church and works with young people. You know, there was a certain amount of what are they going to think of me if I tell them I, you know, I had a problem. I had a problem while I was up there being a leader,

you know, half of me thought they might just go, hey, you don't work here anymore, you know, but I didn't really care. I mean, I cared, but I didn't care. It was more valuable to me, to be honest. And I'm the kind of person that needs to be known. I need to be, I need to be known. And so if being honest about it means that there's some repercussions, then so be it. But it was, yeah, it was kind of embarrassing. But you wouldn't believe how many people have responded to that with like, yeah, me too. You know, it wasn't a lot of finger pointing. It was a lot more like, I'm glad you said that because I'm the same way.

Yeah, which I think is the way it, I don't know that I've heard it plays. play out any other way. You know, even in that situation, you, you mentioned there too. Like, I think if you just look at the pure stats of how many people are struggling with substance use disorder, alcohol use disorder, or wherever they fall on the spectrum of drinking, maybe drinking more than they want to, and all the problems that come with it. And, you know, it's interesting, too, man. With the whole shame element, that could be heavy for people.

Like, I peel back the layers a little bit, like, alcohol was my vehicle, man, to escape myself to feel like I fit in, to kind of quiet the insecurity. So like alcohol was ultimately, you know, kind of quote unquote the problem, but it was really all of those others just human things, those other human elements of ways I just didn't learn how to cope with. Alcohol was just the one that kind of maybe showed up at the right time, made a whole heck of a lot of sense. I leaned into it more. It could have very well been all kinds of other things. So I even look back at it, you know, just drawing it back a layer is, you know, there were all those other things that people can relate to and go through. Thanks for hanging out, dude, Kenon Brew, man. What's to deal with

the music too? Like, are we going to see the stadium series here coming up? Yeah, sure, man. Sure. I haven't yet to book my stadium tour. I just keep procrastinating it. They keep calling and I keep saying, no. But yeah, man, the music is going great. I'm doing things that I never thought I'd do. And it's a slow thing. I enjoy the work. I'm not, you know, I'm not famous by any stretch, but I'm checking off some bucket list places to play, playing on bills with people that I had looked up to and admired for years.

And I'm in Nashville a lot and it's been really cool to get some sort of nods of affirmation from my heroes and from the people who really, are doing this. So it's going good. I'm writing songs, going to release some more stuff soon, and I'm traveling everywhere. So, yeah, living the dream, man.

Yeah, that's what it's all about, man. That's what it's all about, dude. Well, thanks again so much. Anything you want to share for closing? Just keep doing what you're doing, Brad. I mean, you're the best I've seen and I what you're doing. And you're just so approachable and yet you have a lot of wisdom and everything you put out there on the different vehicles is so great.

And if anybody wants to reach out to me, whether about any of the things that we've talked about, I'd love to hear from them. Several people reached out years ago when we had our first conversation. And it's the joy of my life to get to talk to people who are going through something that I can relate to. Yeah, beautiful man. Yeah, that's the full full circle moments of all of this too. And I mean, you share a story that is so relatable, man. There are so many people. I mean, tens of thousands and maybe hundreds of thousands of people that are right in this spot. The bottom is not going to fall out and the truth be told for a lot of people. I don't think it ever would. I think they could cruise all the way till the end of their days. But I think they would look back. And I'm only guessing

here. I think they would look back and say, you know what, I left a lot on the table because I wanted to drink, you know, and chose drinking. And that's the question is like, you know, how much less life are you comfortable with? You know, how much, how much less of your potential, how much of your life are you comfortable missing out on because of this? Because alcohol will, it will chop off giant portions of your life, the length of your life. And when I think about, you know, my kids growing up and all the stuff I was there, but I wasn't really there, you know, hey, dad, come out and, you know, play with us. And I'll just sit right here, y'all play.

Come up and read with me. You read, I'm going to, I'll listen, you know, you're there. You're just missing out, missing out. How much are you comfortable missing out on? Because this is, this is it, man. This is not a dress rehearsal for some other life that's going to actually count. This is the one that counts. And if you're hearing this today, if you got your heart's beaten, today's a chance to decide,

I don't want to miss out on any more life. I don't want to let it take any more life from me. Yeah. Save the best for last. Thanks so much, man. Oh, man. Thank you. Well, there it is.

Another incredible episode here on the podcast. Huge shout out to Mike. It's so great to catch up with him. and run through his story again and how things have changed for him since we connected the first time. I'll drop his contact information down to the show notes below. Be sure to send him over a message. At least thank him for jumping back on the podcast and sharing his story with all of us. And I'll see you on the next one.