Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Three DUIs, Two Seizures, One Last Chance At Sobriety with Derek

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

Derekk shares a raw, unforgettable sobriety story: growing up in a chaotic home, learning early that alcohol was “dangerous,” and still getting pulled into a cycle of binge drinking, DUIs, and arrests. He opens up about the restaurant industry drinking culture, people-pleasing, shame, and how secrecy (“what happens in this house stays in this house”) fueled isolation. Eventually, alcohol dependence escalated to 25–30 beers per day, severe withdrawal, grand mal seizures, and DTs, leading to hospitalization and a medically critical turning point. Learn how he turns it all around. We also talk about Derek’s book The Dog Bowl—a fictional story built from real addiction pain and real recovery truth. ---------- Derek On IG: https://www.instagram.com/dpaquette1/  

Welcome back to season five of the sober motivation podcast. Join me, Brad, each week as my guests and I share incredible and powerful sobriety stories. We're here to show sobriety as possible. One story at a time. Let's go. Derek didn't think alcohol would become his story until it did. Three DUIs, withdrawal seizures, and a last day of drinking that almost ended everything. Today he's been sober since October of 2016, and he's living proof that.

that a complete turnaround is possible. And this is Derek's story on the Subur Motivation podcast. How's it going, everybody? February 2nd, a Monday. I love Mondays. I really do. Never thought I would be that person, but I guess I am. Thank you, as always, for everybody plugging into the podcast and sticking with us.

On the stories here, I posted up that last episode, which I got a few positive feedbacks from about sharing a little bit. bit more of those side of kind of episodes i guess of a little bit more of information and obviously no story and they can be a lot shorter as well so you can plug into them and maybe the things make sense and maybe they don't i guess time will tell i also want to mention too if you're looking for some support on all of this definitely consider the sober motivation community with the 30 day free trial, a bunch of meetings and a really cool group of people to get you engaged. And the more and more that we meet up with the community members and everything, and I'm just

thinking, initially, this whole journey seems to be for people about giving up drinking, about getting sober, but it seems to shift so quickly about living life on life's terms, living with purpose, finding a way to help others, and really plugging into. to what maybe we weren't aware of in the time when we were drinking. So I really see it as more of a staying sober than a get sober type thing. We definitely have a lot of people who start out in their earlier days too. And a lot of people start on their first day, they're day one. And they've been here one year, two years later.

You know, it's pretty incredible just to be witness to the changes that people make, how they carry themselves, how they share, how they're real. relationships change with maybe their wives or husbands or partners or kids or coworkers and just with each other in the group and how people grow closer and a lot of people, you know, get to meet up in person and we have our annual suburb motivation meetup that we just did a lot of the big planning for and that's going to be in August, you know, kind of in my hometown-ish, you know, kind of where I was born. I didn't really grow up there. I mostly grew up in the U.S., but it's going to be an incredible meetup and I'm so excited for it.

So I'm throwing it out there if you feel like you're doing all this alone and it's hard to talk to people around you or maybe they don't understand. Come and hang out with us. The first 30 days is completely free. You get access to roughly 50 or more meetings a month. I host three a week over there too. So I would love to meet you. And I have another really, really exciting announcement that I can't. Kind of want to announce, but I'm going to just leave it at that.

But I've always dreamed of having an app called Sober Motivation to where you could do some really cool stuff and get connected. I see community as the path forward. I know this can be done on your own because I know people who have done it. Like I'm not naive to that. I know that that is a possibility. But I see the level up and the growth in those that do it with the community. community, they grow faster. I feel like they grow further.

And I feel like they enjoy the process maybe a little bit more. And they make some new friends along the way with people who understand where they've come from. And I think there's a lot of beauty in that. I think the way that the world is heading and has been heading is everything is kind of virtual. A lot of things are virtual. And I think that's always going to be there. but I think the community connection, human to human connection, even if we do it virtually and we don't meet up every day, there's so much benefit to that. There really is.

And I mean, this whole addiction, this whole alcohol thing, I mean, the main goal there is to isolate us from the world. You know, that's where a lot of people end up towards the end of their drinking is just isolated. Once started out as a party and now it's just them drinking and hoping nobody figures out. And I just hate that. I hate that about all of this because I don't believe that there's anything broken about you. I don't believe there's anything broken about any of us. I believe we found something that worked and the thing we found that worked, it was a highly addictive substance.

And it changes our brain chemistry over time and then makes us crave it in one more. And we feel like we're weak because this has taken over our life and that there's nothing that we can do about it. But that's not true. There is. And there's people out there that will help you and there's people out there that are regular everyday people and you would have no idea that they ever struggled. Just like people have no idea that you're struggling.

So the suburb motivation app and the main mission is to just end the silence around all of this. I think alcohol has been normalized in our cultures for some time now. And I see us heading in that direction. Let's just normalize sobriety. It's not weird that you choose not to drink. It's not weird that this impacted your life and created some consequences. and distance you and separated you from what was important in the world. And it's okay.

We've been there, especially the people in the community. Like, we get it. So I would love to see a few of you there. Stay tuned because I'm going to be inviting all of you to test out the new sober motivation platform. And it would mean the world for all of you to come and check it out. Now let's get to Derek's story here on the podcast. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast.

today we've got Derek with us. Derek, how are you? Good, are you? I'm good, man. I'm glad to jump on here and, you know, share your story with everybody. Yeah, looking forward to it. Yeah, so what was it like for you growing up? We grew up in the suburbs. It was a very peaceful, I'd say like first 10 to 12 years of my life. I have an older brother who a couple years older than me, he started getting a little bit into a pot, which quickly turned into other drugs. And back in the early 2000s, there was a drug. It was, it was cough cold and congestion pills, but he really got into just if you eat enough of those, it would, I guess, mess them up. And that led down the road to other drugs. And during that time, I'm not sure if she had a problem

prior to me being born, but my mother started drinking a bit, that kind of as I got older, took a lot of pressure off me because all the attention was on my brother and his drug use. And then my mom, her drinking would be kind of center of attention as well. So I always said, like, I'm never going to drink. I'm not going to be that guy. I'm seeing what this is doing to the family. And I'm going to live my life sober. And that was at like a young age.

But of course, you know, you get into a senior in high school. And I wasn't a partier, but me and my best friend, we would kind of dip into his father's liquor cabinet. and we'd go to the convenience store down the street and get orange juice and put like a shot in it, have a drink, and go. And I don't really think anything of it. You know, I didn't want more at the time. It didn't really feel like a problem until a graduation party. I kind of realized that I don't have an off switch.

I drank almost a full bottle of Jameson not partying just. We were back at his house after a party. I was sipping on it. And then he looked over and he said, you've kind of had a lot of that. And I immediately went into the spins and had a three-day hangover. Didn't touch alcohol again for a while. And then when I was in college, most of my friends had went away to college. I went to the community college near my house.

So I was kind of adjusting to meeting new people. They kind of drank. I felt kind of awkward not drinking at like different parties. So I started drinking a little bit more. And I knew it was going to be an issue when again, like the first time around, I just couldn't stop. Like I'm not someone that can just have a drink. I can't just have, I still can't just even have like a piece of. pizza. I'll eat the whole thing. So I go until I'm sleeping. And that became a problem for,

I'd say, seven or eight months. I was drinking pretty regularly, definitely more than, you know, my friends. And when I was 19, I just kind of put the, like, I can't, I got to focus on school. Like, this is crazy. I was also young. And because I grew up in a household where, like, everything that happens in the house stays in the house, like, I didn't really ever talk about, like, my drinking with friends. I didn't talk about, like, my brother, you know, the things that would go on, like, with, you know, my mother. and her drinking. And so I didn't really have like an outlook of like, oh, this is going to be like a problem for like the rest of your life. To me, I was like, I'm a teenager. Like I'm just going

wild. Like, I'm going to, one day I'm going to wake up and be an adult and just like have it figured out, but it doesn't work that way. I didn't have another drink until I was 21. And by then it had been like enough time where I had a new group of friends. Half of them didn't drink and half of them like would party like in college. So like I would go to the parties, but I would drink. drink water. And I remember one night, we went to a hookah bar when those were really popular. And I ordered a martini. And they looked at me like, you're drinking tonight? And I was like, yeah, I'm just kind of like a drink. You know, I'm 21 now. I'm just going to be, I'm going to be responsible about it. Next thing, you know, had that. And then I ordered a second one and like,

oh, you're really drinking tonight. I'm like, I guess I am. And it was like a big, like back then it wasn't, you know, oh, Derek's drinking too much. It was like, oh, man, Derek's party tonight. Like, let's go because like they just had never seen me drink. And it was kind of off to the races from there. I was in the restaurant business, so it was just like the big hangout and drinking on the weekends, turn to drinking a couple days a week, turned to drinking every single night. You know, when you're 21, you can drink until 5 a.m. and be up to work at 10. You can go to class. You can go through life without really anything like holding me back when you're that young. And it was just like, you know, it became a big problem and I started getting in trouble,

you know, with the law. But yeah, my household growing up, just get back on track. You know, It got pretty chaotic. And I think, like, my drinking a lot of it was because, like, I was so stressed out from not just, like, having, like, just to talk to people. Like, I thought, like, if I talked to my friends, you know, my friends would, like, they complain about, like, not being able to get the car for the night or, like, maybe going through a breakup. And I'd be like, oh, my brother was coming off of, you know, meth and attacked me with a butcher's night. Like, I didn't really know, like, how to interject that into a story because for me, like, that kind of event was, like, an everyday thing for me. So, you know, I wanted to, like, kind of teeter on. Like, I don't want anyone to look at me.

Like, what did he just? Like, your family's nuts. But, you know, it's, uh, yeah. It was pretty chaotic, you know? Yeah. I mean, a lot of stuff you mentioned there, too. I think hits home for me and probably a lot of listeners too, right, of like growing up. And, you know, it was never really told to me what happens in the house, kind of stays in the house.

But I kind of read between the lines, I think, as, you know, a youngster too. And then I think for me personally, like, it just was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, And I kind of pick up on it maybe a little bit from you. We just internalize everything, right? And we don't have any place to share it or talk about things, right? Where do you kind of go and talk about these heavy things that you're going through? And I mean, when you look back at that sort of thing, I mean, when do you pick up in your life, this idea of alcohol is bad and you're never going to do it?

Because that really interests me because I would say it's like, I don't know, a 60, 40 split, maybe of the 225 stories of people on the podcast that have grown up with some. somebody who is struggling and then they will commit to themselves of like you see what's happening. So I'm not going to do that. And then it seems to be for a lot of people too. There's like that shift that kind of happens in everything. So I'm interested sort of in that and like how you, you process that like in those earlier years. Yeah.

So I think I remember when I was younger. I remember like just the reactions that my dad would have when my mom would drink. and I would see the reactions when my brother would come home messed up. And, I mean, he drank too. I mean, there really wasn't much like he wasn't willing to try. So, like, just seeing, like, my dad just, like, get, like, so upset. And, like, you know, like, you know, my dad was, like, kind of like, just that blue collar. Like, you know, he was, like, tough on us.

But I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of making him mad. You know, and I think there's a distinction there, like, you know, because we're really close. And, like, now that I'm older, I realize he just wanted us, like, always, like, bring out our best effort. But just seeing his reactions and like my mom would have drinks. And when you're younger, like you don't really think of anything like, you know, having a taking us home and my dad flipping out, like, what do you do? Like driving them home. I remember one birthday just asking my mom like, hey, can you not drink? Because, you know, she would act funny. Like when I was, like, you act

funny. Like, you know, whatever that means. And I just knew I didn't like it. I didn't like the smell. I always hated like going in for like a hug and a kiss and, you know, like, just like that. Like, what is that? You know, like, you know, like, you. that kind of feeling and just seeing those reactions and as I got older, you know, the fights progressed with my father and my mother and I just didn't, I didn't enjoy, you know, it was just a very, it made me just want to leave the house and just be, you know, because like the blowouts would like happen and, you know, when you're drinking and you start arguing like you, like, you don't stop arguing, you know, it's like the perfect concoction of just like a myriad of like bad things

that can happen. So for me, it was like, I don't want to do this. Like, this is like, praise it to me. But at the same time, you get that kind of feeling when you're hanging out when you're like 19, 20 and like you're with college friends or you're trying to date and you're like, I feel like if I'm, I tell them like I'm sober like that's going to like hold them back because they get like, you know, if you're with someone like their 2021, you know, I don't want to like change their lifestyle. And but I also don't want to be like, you know, because it was awkward sometimes at parties. I got like to have like a water like a soda and like, you know, how come you not drinking? Why are you not drinking? Why not drinking? you know, if you're with someone, they're like, oh, I don't like that attention. Like, that's kind of like rubbing off. So for me, it's like, I don't want this lifestyle, but I also don't want to, like, feel awkward. So, like, I always kind of look forward to that point in my life, kind of like where I am now, like 37, where it doesn't really matter. Like,

I have a family. I have my house. I don't need to, like, if I'm not out, like, I'm not going to get, like, pressured into, like, doing anything or just feel like that awkward kind of feeling. So I was kind of, like, glamorized, like, just getting older and just skipping those years in an odd way. Yeah. You know, but it's interesting there too. Like I feel like in those years of like early development of like high schoolish beginning college, it's for me anyway.

And maybe this is coming out a little bit for you relatable is that I was so interested in sort of people pleasing and just trying to make friends and connect with other people. Like that was of the utmost importance despite sort of the consequences I was experiencing. My parents always used to sit me down and say, why don't you just find new friends? that you're not getting in trouble with all the time. Why don't you just kind of do this? Or like, why is this so important to you? I was like almost choosing my friends in some situations, like over my family.

Like my family loved me, but when I reflect back on it to go even a little bit deeper, I just had a hard time feeling and accepting maybe the love from them. And I was looking for this acceptance and connection and community and people. And I'm not here to say that any of them were bad people or I was a bad person. But when we got together, we did really. dumb stuff. We made really poor choices, but I wasn't able to say, like, connect the dots of, hey, we're doing all of this. We should probably go our separate ways, you know, and it's interesting in those years, too, and you bring up like dating and how everything is going to go. I mean,

did you realize at that point in your life, like 19, 20, 21, and when you started drinking again, like, were you aware that, okay, this is a problem? This looks way different than maybe what other people are doing or no. Oh, yeah. So when I started drinking again, like, like I said, at the time we were 21. So like drinking and going out a lot was often. I, but I was on the side. Like I'd, I'd stop at a bar and have like four or five beers and then go to the pregame and then we'd go to the bars. So and because like I put down enough like, I would drink enough beer like I would start like it would take about seven or eight before I knew like people would be like definitely catch on like I knew that was like my like threshold of like nobody's going to really know

and they're not really going to know a difference once I get to the bar and drinking anyway I can just say like oh I didn't really eat today that's why like I got drunk so fast none of my other friends are doing that you know like it was just me at 21 22 going to a hole in the wall dive bar with like a bunch of like middle age guys um like coming off of work or whatever and I'd be like yeah I'm the only one like doing this like there's no one I'm else that's my age that's doing this kind of thing. And then my friend started catching on. And it became, you know, when you're 21, I was like, oh, who got the most drunk last night? Oh, man, you were ham and da-da. Like, once in a while, like, it's funny. Like, you know,

like, hey, man, you got really drunk. But don't worry. Like, you didn't do anything stupid. Like, you know, we made sure you got home at the, da-da. But when you become that person every time, like, oh, Derek's going to get shit-faced. You know, it's, it's Monday night. And he's putting down vodka drink after vodka drink after vodka drink. You only here for trivia. you know um like i knew that it was a problem and then like for me the nights that i would go out and just try to force myself and having one or two were the nights that i got obliterated you know if i went and just said you know i'm going to drink tonight sometimes i wouldn't have that much like as much as i thought i would specifically say like i don't want to look like an idiot tonight i just want to go i just want

to have a couple beers like you know i'll just have like we'll get through like trivia i'll just watch the game or we'll just do this and um you know let everyone know like i'm not out of control were the nights that I wound up, like, finishing the beer before I got from the bar to the table and be like, oh, shit, and turning back around and getting another one, you know? Yeah. It just, it, and I don't think, unless you're in it, like,

people will say, like, why don't you just stop, just have, like a couple. It's like, yeah, the sheer, like, I don't know, your brain just goes to doom, like, you need to have more, you know, and it's, so I was always, I could always just have none or have a lot, but I enjoyed it. And it did kind of get me through those years. of like my brother and different times like with my mother like the fights like I knew like

okay like I'm not like them I'm at least I'm waiting until the night to drink at least I'm like I always come up with every excuse like well at least I'm not doing this so I'm not that bad and then you know my first time I got arrested it kind of flipped you know and I was 23 at my first arrest so things kind of happened young um it wasn't in high school like high school Like, nobody really ever crushed me in high school. I think it's because my brother took so much attention in the school, like, the things that he was doing that, like, I smoked cigarettes in high school, but I also was afraid of getting in trouble. So, like, I wasn't in the bathroom with everybody else. Like, I'd wait until I was at to school.

Like, I didn't want to get, like, I was like, you know, and people say, like, I never knew like you smoked. Yeah, I actively smoked in high school. Like, it wasn't a cool thing for me to do. It was like a stress. But yeah, no, things kind of, like, escalated quick, especially with, like, my friends. And you realize you're different when, like, they're having one or two drinks. tops and then they're out of there. And then you're like, oh, I guess going to run to the bathroom.

And then after they leave, you back right into the bar and keep drinking. That happened almost every time. Yeah. Yeah. And then it, I mean, what you said there too is really hit home is like we convince ourselves that everything for us, the way we're going about it is so much different, right? Like we're sort of an exception to, you know, maybe the rule or. And I think what happens in that space too, because I,

I mean, I did that. Like, that was a huge excuse for me to keep going, is that they were maybe further along with their journey. And I wasn't able to connect the dots. But like, I ended up right there, if not worse, than all the people that I was like, hey, I'm not like them. And then I was like, okay, you know, when I look back at it now, you can see it clear as day. But at the time, it's a very confusing spot. I think for so many people. And a lot of people listen to the show, like they might be somewhere else on the spectrum of how they're drinking looks.

but I just think the longer we keep it around, we keep it around, like, involved in our life, we always leave the door open for things to go bad, you know, as opposed to quitting. Like, why wait till the end, you know? And that's another interesting thing, too, is, you know, why do we wait until sort of the bottom falls out when it's like, hey, we could maybe see, right, from other people, you know, and maybe that's something, you know, we might not completely understand, but learn from sort of other people that, you know, this is kind of where it takes you. But we do, man, I mean, human nature, dude.

I mean, we do such a good job. I think our brain does to protect us from, you know, that's not going to be my story. Yeah. And I think, too, like, especially working in the restaurant business, you know, you see like that kind of lifestyle. And I was in the restaurant business for like half my life. So it's just so easy to like, oh, all my work people, like we all hang out after it. to where were we going to go after work at 11 o'clock? We're going to go to the bar, you know, and we're going to drink.

And, you know, and I never did any other, like, I didn't never touch hard drugs. Like, I just stuck to drinking, you know, but I would see, like, the downfall of people, like, really quickly. But then on the other side, I would see people that were 30 years sober that were bartending, you know, like they have, like, that strong. Like, some people just, like, they have it where, like, they don't, like, need to, like, be near it. After my, the third time I got in trouble with the law, like, I'd get out of the restaurant business as fast as I could. I knew I had to make a change. I didn't have a plan because I was still actively drinking, but I knew something had to give. But it's, it's like that should have kind of, this is like a weird pressure that,

and I think even like when we got sober, it wasn't cool to be sober then. Like you didn't have like a lot of like people like yourself like having like going online. It's like, hey, being sober is good. Like it's a good thing. Like look what it's on for me. And I look back and I think like Brandon Novak from like the CKY jackass crew, like I know like he has like a big following and he's like one of the first people I started listening to. I remember John Mullaney was on a podcast in maybe 2015 and I was still drinking them, but I was like,

oh, I guess like there are people that are willing to put their story out there. Maybe I'm not alone here. Even though you know a lot of people like at places like ad care and like A, A, when it exists if people didn't have problems. But it's so such an isolating thing to like, you know, like being an alcoholic that you truly think like, oh, I'm like I must be like crazy. Like I must be like the only one going through. this, but it's just not the case.

Yeah. And that is so true. I mean, the landscape has changed so much, I think, with sort of the more science that's coming out and showing, you know, people like the actual effects of alcohol, you know, how, like, how much it takes from us, you know, even if we're not at the far end of the spectrum and experiencing all these consequences, how much it takes from our life. I mean, if you, you know, if I think a lot of the people around me that drink, they know judgment for them.

Like, they're, I mean, they're, they do. their thing and whether they need to get sober, whatever is for them to decide. But I see them, I see them working hard all week, right? And then I see them on the weekend is kind of like, yeah, like, let's drink. And then that's sort of the cycle, right? And then decades go by of work all week, drink all weekend. And then, and, you know, still be in the same place after like 10 or 15 or 20 years, you know, like, how do you make any progress? I look at the weekends now so much different is like that's an opportunity to like be present i mean in today's world i have three kids so it's like i need to hang out with my kids or but even before that it was like this is my

opportunity to sort of maybe get an edge right where a lot of people are sleeping through the weekend this could be sort of a competitive edge in a sense but yeah people started you know more and more people sharing about it and the benefits they're experiencing i think has been really helpful for all of us i mean you said you were you know in trouble with the law three times is this related to drinking like because yeah in what you're one way because of drinking? Yeah, all three times. First time I got arrested for a DUI.

I was, we were drinking. My buddy needed a ride home. I took him home. And on the way home, there was a car in front of me. And there was a cop in front of that car. And the light turned green. The cop turned his lights on and pulled the person over in front of them. And the car in front of me started, I had like floored it,

but then they stopped quick. because the cop was, I didn't realize this, but the cop was opening his door. So I, and I didn't want to drive into the car in front of me. So I whipped around and I clipped the cop car door. Oh, man. And then I, so I was like, oh, shit. So I, you know, I pulled over and he gets out. And he was like, you know, what the hell?

Like, what are you doing? And I was like, what am I doing? Like, I didn't realize, I thought you were going to, like, pull the guy over. I didn't realize you were going to be getting out of your car. And then, and I blew and I was over, spent the night in jail, which should have been it for me. but I still continued to drink. And two years later, I got pulled over in front of my house three days before Christmas. I was on my way home from work.

I had a few drinks at work. I stopped at the ATM to get money out to go Christmas shopping that next day. And I got pulled over. I saw cops driving through the neighborhood. I'm like, oh, what are they doing? I wonder what's going on in the neighborhood. And I get to another stop sign. There was another cough.

And then I look behind me. They're all behind me. I'm like, oh, they're here for me. And so all their lights go on. And they said, oh, someone called, you're driving erratically. And at the time, I was driving a Mustang. So, like, I kind of drove erratically sober or not. And, I mean, you're just kind of a target.

You're not, actually, you know, you're not a target. Like, that's a bad way to look at it because I was driving like an idiot. And then, you know, you had a couple drinks to the mix. So I got arrested that time. And then the time after that, it was only a month after I got my license back from the first that, second time. I had started taking ubers for a while because those became a thing. And I actually was only drinking once, maybe twice a week. I actually, like, I was like, I'm going to like, maybe I should like get back into school. Like, you know, like maybe like bartending and waiting

tables like isn't like a full lifetime thing I want to do. So I was having to get my shit together. And then I started having one beer after work. One beer, you know, I'll be fine, drive home. Like everybody like has like a drink. And of course that leads to, I could have two. beer. Like, what, you know, what difference is that going to make? And then that led to three to four to five. And that was right back to drinking, you know, and not taking Uber's. And I got pulled over in my neighborhood. And that was the third time. And instead of, and then I was like, okay, well, now my life's over. Like three times. They were in Rhode Island. If you get, the second time they dropped the DUI and it was refusal, the first time I got arrested, they had dropped

it and it was a reckless driving. But if you got something within like five years, you were looking at jail time, but I was able to get out of that. They took my license for I think 17 months. I was put on probation for a year. And I kind of just spiraled. And I started drinking every day again. I started drinking more. And then my tolerance kept growing in August, middle of August through October, I was drinking upwards, anywhere between 25 to 30 beers a day. And I was starting at crack. I'd wake up. I'd watch the news.

And then I started getting the shakes. And I started getting anxiety. And I'd have a drink. And I was telling my girlfriend at the time, like, hey, I don't think this is going to end well. And like you said, like, so good, go to detox. Go get help. But like your brain says, no, I have to keep doing this. Like when you're an addict addicts, like your brain doesn't tell you, hey, you should stop drinking.

Your brain says, hey, you need more. Like you're going to keep drinking. Like, let's not stop here. And that, um, then one morning I, I had gotten taken to the hospital to stay in the drunk tank because I was walking home from the liquor store. Like I fell and I couldn't get up. And a guy ended up stopping. He helped me into his car and he dropped me off at my house. I tried to walk to my girlfriends.

She lived in the neighborhood and I fell again. And it was weird because I was trying to cut down on drinking. Now I know that I was having like these like many seizures that were going on. And like my body was just breaking down. And the cops came and they talked to me for a while. I actually had a really good heart to heart with the cop. And I said, like, I'm like, I got to stop doing this. Like I, he's like, yeah, he's like, a lot of people are pretty pissed off at you right now.

Your girlfriend didn't even want you over, you know, and you're falling near her front lawn. And we had a good conversation about like getting things straight. The next day I cut my beer intake down to like 25 to 30 to 12. I woke up the next morning feeling like really clammy. Like I didn't really realize how withdrawals could kill you. And I woke my girlfriend up, and I was like, hey, I think we need to go to the liquor store. I'm like, something like bad is happening. And I'm like, my body is just telling me like, I needed a drink.

And she's like, you're a piece of shit. It's eight in the morning. Like, I'm trying to sleep. Like, this is it. She's like, I'm done. Like, I can't keep doing this. And I said, oh, no, I completely agree. Like, I'm out of control, but I need to get to the liquor store.

Yeah. And then she took me to liquor store. I walked in. And then I woke up in an ambulance to EMTs, like, screaming at me. Like, what drugs are you on? What drugs are you on? Like, what's going on? And my eyes were like stinging.

I'm like, what like, what the hell is like going on here? And I'm like, I'm like, I'm not on drugs. Like what's going on with my face? Like I thought like something like happened to me like like really bad. And like, well, you had a seizure and like on your way down, you face planted into a shopping cart. So like I split like from here down like through my nose. So like there was like just blood in my eyes. So they're trying to clear out.

And they're trying to figure out like what I like what I was doing that like I had like a full blown grandma seizure in the store. and they're like, you did this for drinking? And I was like, yeah, like, how much do you drink? And I was like, a lot. I was like, I guess enough. So they take me to the hospital. I get stitched up and the doctor was telling me, hey, you should really go to detox. I'm like, yeah, I know, I know.

Like, this is getting like way too far. But tomorrow's my birthday. I'm like, could I come back like Monday? And he's like, well, the hospital's never closed. But like, I want you to know that if you leave the hospital, I shouldn't suggest this, but you need to go to a liquor store because this is going to happen again. And I was like, okay. and my girlfriend's looking at me like,

are you serious? Like, you're not going to like take advantage of this. I was like, well, my birthday is tomorrow. You know, like turning 20, like really was going to matter.

So off to a liquor store. We went. We pulled into the parking lot and I was getting out of the car and I had another grand mal seizure. I woke up in, like I woke up in an ambulance again and there was the same EMT screaming at me. They were almost like guardian angels like. And they were like,

we gave you the chance. Like, what are you doing? And like, you're staying in the fucking hospital now. Like, I don't care. We see you again.

Like this is ridiculous. Like, what do you do? Like, you know, like, they were mad. And I don't blame them. Like, I'm wasting their time. Like, I'm just, you know, they could be, like, actually, like, helping other people. And here I am just, like, falling my way through liquor stores throughout the city. And then that's when I took it serious.

I don't remember going to the hospital. I went into DTs. I ended up spending my birthday the next day in a chemically induced coma because the DTs were getting so bad. I spent the week in the hospital. And that's when that was the last day. I had a drink. And it was enough for me. I knew what I was done anyway.

I was like glad I survived it. And it was just kind of like that kick in the ass that I needed. I went to ad care. I had court ordered alcohol sessions I had to go to anyway. And I finally started talking to someone and be like, hey, I need to get things off my chest. And I just kind of unloaded on like this therapist of like my childhood and things that I like kept to myself. Like just like I always had like this kind of like pent up anger that like I kind of like wanted to mask with like alcohol, which a lot of times would just only bring out the anger more. And just getting to the root of why I started because alcohol was the answer to the problems I was having.

And, you know, a lot of people who get newly sober will say, like, I just want to get back to myself. It's like, no, you don't because that person was the one that ended up making the choice to pick up the bottle or pick up the drug or pick up, you know, whatever the device is. Yeah, it was a pretty wild last day of drinking for me. But I feel like, you know, if God stepped in, he definitely stepped in that day, you know, I was on my way to drink more. And he just literally just said, nope, I'm taking the wheel now. He's like, you're going to go to these liquor stores and you're not going to buy a thing. So it was a blessing, but it sucked at the time. You know?

Yeah. Yeah, man. Thanks for, thanks for sharing that too. Did you know? I mean, I hear from a lot of people that from drinking, they have no idea that where it can get to as far as the seizures, as far as you can die, as far as the detox. Like, did you have the awareness of that, like kind of coming up to this or no? I knew they were withdrawals. I never thought that I was.

I think because I was so used to drinking that, and like especially being in like the bar scene, like, you would just kind of drink every night. So I thought it just had like a tolerance. I would go through stretches like before that binge happened. Like I was like I was down to like drinking once or twice a week. I was making up for it for the rest of the week. Like I was getting absolutely hammered those one or two days a week. But I thought if I just was able to kind of cut my death self, cut it down reasonably like I'd be fine. But, you know, like going from 30.

beers to 12. I mean, it's pretty shocking to the body. And then you're not getting nutrients because I wasn't really eating. And what I was eating, it was just kind of like sweet since like I always kind of like created like sugar. Of course, now I look it up and it's all like science and stuff. Like at the time, I didn't really know like the, the depths that it, like I didn't realize it could kill you. You know, and then they, they sent me home with colanapin and they said just, you know, if you're getting anxious, just take one of these. And I never took pills. So I, they gave me 30 of them. And I took one. I'm like, oh, these make me feel great. I'm like, oh, these make me feel great. I'm like, if I knew these, these things existed, I never would have drank in the first place.

Yeah. And I said, you black out at all taking those or no? I, I didn't black out, but I was taken like four or five a day. And then I, I was so ignorant to it because I finished the script in a week. And I was like, oh, let me just call CVS and just get more. And they were like, you can't just get more colonnip. And I'm like, what do you mean I can't get? I'm like, I was prescribed it.

I'm like, I'm waiting to, like, I don't have a general, uh, I don't have a doctor yet. Like, you know, so what do I do? So I try to go to doctor's offices and to kind of write me a script. But I was like, all, well, I guess I just don't need them anymore. And then I started Googling what could happen if you stopped taking colonnipine. And the same thing that you could stop when you stop colonopin or benzos happen with alcohol. So I'm like, ah, shit. And like after four or five days, I went down with a seizure and I broke my collarbone.

So I was like, all right, I'm just done with putting anything into my body. Like, you know, I'm just going to keep to my cigarettes. and I got into ice cream at night instead of alcohol and then put on a lot of weight. And that wasn't the answer. But yeah, like that first year sobriety was really, it was tough. It was dark. It was humbling. I think it's necessary to kind of have that panic of like, oh, man, I just feel like,

I need to catch up like with life and I need to like get myself in gear. And it's, I think it's important to spend time with yourself because I left the restaurant business. So I didn't have experience working anywhere else. I got a job going door to door, not selling roofs, windows and siding, but selling appointments for the real salesman to get, like, to go in and sell roofs. Pretty much a pyramid scheme of like those door to door people. And my coworkers were like 16. I was 29, 28, 29.

But it was, I needed to work. I needed to like make money. And then my wife was in banking and she kept telling me like, oh, just like maybe try off like entry level positions places at like different banks. And I would. And I'd have interviews. And I was literally being laughed at in the interviews because I just didn't have like that. I never interviewed for corporate before. I ended up taking real estate classes.

And then I got an interview for an entry level loan processing position. And I was told like, hey, the only reason why I'm interviewing you is because you went to real estate school. And I worked in mortgages. And I loved like, all right, well, real estate. And then I was like, all right, well, here's my chance. And they gave me the opportunity. And I just didn't look back. And I've been in banking now for about eight.

Yeah, I'll be eight years. March. Wow, dude. So, when was it, when was it that you got sober? Like, what year is that? You said when you were 28? Yeah, so it was October 22nd, 2016 was the day of the liquor store seizures. And I've been sober ever since. Yeah. Great job on that, man. I mean, what, what a turnaround from the way things were. So the girlfriend you're talking about here that brought you to the liquor store and was part of your life is, is that your wife now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She, She, God bless her. She, I mean, we grew up together, so I think maybe that's probably why she didn't, like, get out of town.

And I wouldn't have blamed her even if she did. If she was very close, she was leaving me that day. But I started learning to just kind of open up to her about, like, different feelings I had. So, like, I always just kept, like, my feelings. Like, nobody really knew anything about, like, my family, like, dynamics. I never really talked about that kind of thing. She knew because she was friends with, like, with my brother growing up. But I just have talked about my feelings a little bit more.

I think she saw the potential of me. Like I did go to college. You know, I didn't graduate college, but I did make it to my senior year. Like I was on track at one point. And once I get sober, like, my problem was never, like, being nice or, like, being, like, thoughtful. Like, my problem was just drinking, you know, like, so many, like, I just killed so many relationships and, like, friendships because of, like, listen, like, you're so cool, like,

when you're sober, but you start drinking, especially hard alcohol. and you just become an asshole, like sometimes. And that wouldn't happen every time, like, you drink. But, like, if you're drinking six, seven days a week, you're going to have at least once or twice a week just being, like, annoying. You know, like, people like to say, like, oh, I'm just a friendly, fun drunk. Like, you're not all the time. Like, no, like, I don't know one person that hasn't had a really annoying night being drunk.

I think that's also, like, such a cop out to be like, oh, I'm just a fun drunk. Like, not always, like, you can't always be a fun drunk. Like, it's never going to work that way. Yeah. But yeah, no, but she, yeah, we worked out and, you know, we have, she had two kids prior. And I think that also helped me because it kind of gave me instant responsibility, like, as I got sober. And I used to like spend a lot of time, you know, like I still do like spend a lot of time with them. And then we had our own son five years ago when I started like writing the book. But yeah, now it's that first year was tough.

And then after that, it was kind of more of like, I'm not worried about getting drunk. about like just maintaining like my well-being um and what that looks like and eventually like i quit the cigarettes but yeah no yeah we we wound up getting married and uh we went through a lot and i think like i i think like she was sent to me to like fix me you know like nobody was able to like get to like that point and uh and she stuck through yeah yeah that's cool man how that you know because you always wonder too i i i don't know man i can't help but wonder all the people in my life and the things that I put them through sort of in the mess or the mix of things. And I'm like, I mean, I don't know, man.

I would like to sit here and say I would be able to stick around for it. But part of me is like, I don't know if I would be able to. So those people who do stick around, like, that's just incredible, man, that they. And then especially you get sober and it's like, you're kind of sitting there like, okay, like, do you know me? We've been together for this long, but it's like now you have to get to know me through another way. And I had to get to know you because I've spent most of my time, like, drunk and, like, not that I don't remember things, but there's a lot, like, I didn't remember, like,

about, like, things that she'd say. And it's like, you kind of, like, start again. And it's like, is it going to be, is it worth it? You know, and for me, it was. And luckily for her, it was, too. But, yeah, no, it was definitely, definitely dicey for a little while there, though, because it's like, because I know your pain, like, I was a pain in the ass the first year. I was sober. Like, everything, you know, I had so much anxiety going out to eat, being around alcohol, being around, like people drinking and like it took like a while for me to be comfortable around alcohol and I think a lot of it too is because I was also trying to like establish myself in like a job and a career and stuff like that so it's like just it was like a perfect concoction just like I was

having like panic attacks like out in public a lot and sometimes the only thing that fixes that is time and like really just like getting a time in under your belt like I got through the first year and I was like okay I'm still here like you know I'm not like dying like there's nothing nothing too bad happened I had to lose some weight because I was eating ice cream every night, but, and then the second year was easier and the third year was easier before, and then it just kept getting better and better, but, um, always in the back of, like, my head, like one sip of alcohol can take me right back to 10 years ago, um, you know, like always keeping that humble, like there's not a day that goes by. I don't think about it,

but just, you know, I have my work. I've got my family. I've got, like, I like, I like exercising there. Things that I like now, not to mention, like, we're a little bit older. So, like, if I go to bed, like, 11 o'clock at night, like, I wake up hungover still if I don't get enough sleep or, Or like, if I eat like a bunch of sugar before bed, I legitimately wake up feeling hungover. Like, I don't know how people are aged still even drink. You know, it's, uh, I God bless them. You know, I don't have anything against people that do, uh, drink. Yeah, I'm not somebody that, like, tries to preach, like, how to live your life.

But, uh, I wouldn't be, I don't even think I'd be physically be able to do it anymore, even if I wanted to. Well, yeah, I know. When the kids get up, I mean, you know, all throughout the night and everything, too. Yeah. It is interesting. But I think when you, even when we look back at. your story here, just what we can normalize or what we can make sense of sort of being a human,

you know, because I think there's going to be some people that hear your story and say, I mean, you had so many sort of opportunities to kind of get off the train, right? It's like how, why continue on? And then it's like the other people that are drinking now. It's like, why not just get off the train and sort of avoid all of the other stuff. But it's like in each individual journey has sort of this way of things that makes sense. what gets normalized. And if we're not really willing to look at everything else that happened before

or like what are the reasons why we're drinking or what is unhealed within, that what a lot of people talk about sort of a feeling a void or feeling like sort of a black hole of some sort. And then the alcohol of kind of, you know, checking this box. Right. If we're unwilling to look at any of that stuff, I think the drinking is going to make, you know, some sense, oddly enough, even with the consequences and everything. else that comes along with it. Yeah, and I think the big thing, too, like, for me, like,

it was kind of humbling in a way because when I was younger and I said, I'm never going to drink. And like, I look at my mom, like, I can't believe like you're drinking. And I look at my brother. I can't believe like you're on drugs. And then I was in it, you know, and it's like, I came out of it like, okay, I have the understanding now, just personally going through it. So that gave me more of like, a understanding of like, a understanding of like, how do I approach those conversations, like a little bit better with her. You know, there was a lot of fighting. that used to go on because like when you're not an addict and like you're not in it it's easy to be like well if it's not like working out like just stop doing it like it's it's literally that simple

but it it is that simple but there's layers to it um so it's made me a little bit more like understanding and it's actually bought us closer you know it's it's not like i don't have close relationship like a close relationship with my parents like we are like very close it's just very it's very taxing you know especially like you with my brother he lives out in cal California now and like even him like we've I've kind of gotten an understanding with him like we don't like speak like that like too often but you know I know like he's still like sometimes struggles here and there but it makes me more open to be like well let's talk like we like if you want to talk like instead of being like figure your shit out like you know like which it's like a lot of people kind of just say it's like well what's going on because a lot of times it's not the drug that's like what's causing it that's the solution so yeah it's pretty full circle yeah absolutely yeah yeah yeah yeah and And I think that's what sometimes we, maybe we struggle to realize too when we get into all of this, right? I sure as heck did. I thought it was the drugs and the alcohol.

Like if I quit doing that stuff, I was like, well, I'll be good to go. And then when I quit, you know, when I had little stints of sobriety when I did quit, I was like, man, I'm actually struggling way more now than maybe I kind of was before because there goes like my little coping strategy. There goes like my connection, my identity. And even all the way back to when you shared in college too about. it was celebrated right like i just looked back to that stage of my life and it was just the wilder things were the more sideways they went i was like man i'm i'm this is like celebrated of how

how cool this was and the big risk and i think part of me too enjoyed that of like the acceptance part of it and well we were the generation i mean we took i mean the four we were like the four local generation like we were like alcohol is not enough let's make it like liquid cocaine like and we just like started mixing it. Like the big drinks at the bars, like when I was in my 20s was vodka and red bulls. I mean, that's literally an upper and a downer,

you know, and it's just ripping those. And it's like we were the generation that tried to find more ways. I remember in the summer, you dump out the neck of a coronin, and fill it with Bacardi Lamone and like,

you know, it would taste the same, but having three or four, you'd be hammered. And like, that's just what we did. There wasn't enough. We're the generation just wasn't enough.

So then to be sobered within that same generation too, it's just like I kind of see like the result of some people like I've had friends pass away from alcoholism and it's I'm lucky and I'm blessed to have made it through because any one of those nights could have really gone sideways but um the end result's not pretty like it will kill you one way or another and uh but I think now like there's more of like a push you know I'm seeing people in their first year sobriety like thrive because I think there are just so many outlets that they can go to. There's so many podcasts you can listen to. There's so many books. And I just think

the younger generation, I think generationally, if that's even a word, we're starting to break that curse a little bit more and more. Like, we're noticing and we're trying to change. And I feel like the younger generation, like, I am not, I don't have like numbers, but it just doesn't seem like they're drinking as much. It doesn't seem like, you know, alcohol is like not the cool thing anymore. Yeah. And hopefully that continues with the next generation. You know, I'm going to have to have those conversations with my son. It's kind of the reason why, like, I wrote the book because when he was born, like one of those nights, he was just up all night. I was thinking, you know, what would happen if I fell off the wagon?

What would that look like? What if the worst case scenario happened? And then what, what have I had to see it? You know, because it was during the COVID lockdown too. So, like, being locked in, like, your house, like, we were already kind of there. So, like, I just, like, wrote a book about a guy that dies in a drunk driving accident. And he's forced to watch his family kind of grieve, move on. And that kind of goes into his own, like, backstory. with like his life and then like what happens with his son as time goes on and it's it's really a

generational um that's another thing like i wish i had known growing up you know i thought like my brother's an addicts my mother's you know she struggles with alcohol like i've had like old aunts and uncles struggle with it um but i wouldn't right because it's just like an individual thing but sure enough i fell into the hole you know and everyone thinks they're everyone thinks they're like the odd one out it's not going to affect them but the it's not going to affect them but it's It is, you know, it does one way or another. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's a really good point to hammer out there, too, is, yeah, I mean, it can affect anybody. I think there's a lot of numbers that say if you grow up in a home like that, even if you have that mindset you did, if you grow up in a home where people are struggling with drinking alcoholism, whatever it is, then like the stats, the numbers are increased, you know, for people coming out of those environments too. Interesting with the book, too. I mean, writing that, you know, coming up with that idea and writing it, is that what inspired you to it?

It is like, hey, what if I fell off the wagon? What would it look like? Like, what really sparked you sort of in the direction? And what's the name of the book? And like, yeah, I'm really interested to hear sort of more of that because it seems like a really heavy approach to all of this, right? I mean, yeah. So the book's called The Dog Bowl. and it's yeah the inspiration kind of came out of like I always loved writing like if there's one thing

I knew I was good at like it was writing I'd never followed like really followed through with it like I took writing classes in college but um like there was oh you know you always told like there's no money in it so like I didn't really pursue it that much um and then I was getting I was like 31 32 at the time and you know I was at that age I was like I never really explored like writing and I don't want to be that guy that uh that just never tried And then I was thinking, and then that kind of rolled into me thinking about, you know, like, what if like my son was born? I'm like, man, like I'm at the time was almost five years sober. And I was like, that's a good amount of time. But like I could like, what if like what if I fell off the wagon? And like, what if like something happened to me?

Like, what if he fell down that path? And by writing the book, I kind of felt like I got a lot off my chest of just like the feelings that I had in my head that aren't always easy to like articulate. But if I wrote a story about someone going through it, it made it like it seemed like it seemed like it made a. easier for me. So I just started, I sat down. I thought of like I knew where I wanted to go with the story and I just started typing. And every day for a few weeks, I'd type more and I'd like knock out chapters and then I bought it to an end. And I was like, I think I have a manuscript. And I reached out to like 10 people and they were like, hey, I wrote a manuscript. Do you want to read it? And every one of them said, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I heard back from zero because, you know, trying to get people to

read up like a book, especially like a rough draft of something. You know, it's not the easiest thing. But so I hired a developmental editor. And then life kind of happened. I think a lot of insecurity happened because I don't know, I think a big part of like people who suffer with addiction. Like there's like this is a really big like insecure aspect. So I sat on it for a few years. And then now that I'll be 10 years sober this October, a couple months ago, I was like, I can't just sit on this. Like I feel a responsibility. Like I need to be helping out other people. I was blessed enough to get out of addiction. I need to like see where I can kind of get. get into other areas to help others, whatever that may look like.

So I pulled it back out. I got a copy editor. I worked through a lot of the editing stuff and I decided to release it. And I put on Amazon for ebook and paperback and didn't really think too much of it. And then people started reaching out saying like, hey, I read your book. Like it's made me think about like alcohol and like my relationship with it, my kids' relationship with it. It's making me think about like my parents and drinking. And it's really resonating with people.

it's fictional but like it's honest like I didn't want to like dance around like the bush around like you know like the I don't know sometimes I feel like Hollywood can kind of glamorize alcohol sometimes and I just wanted to keep like an emotionally this is what addiction makes people feel like from the aspect of being the addict and the aspect of seeing like a loved one and then like yeah then it's just kind of it's kind of taken off a little bit from there like I've done a couple of radio interviews I just got into Barnes & Noble and in my state and It's not like worldwide. I think you can order it like online on Barnes & Noble. But yeah. So it's, yeah, it's getting some traction and it's not like I'm not looking like my goal wasn't sales. It was like touching people. It was like getting people to speak out. Some people I work with, you know, like corporate settings especially aren't like where people talk about the kind of the things that they go through. And I've had people like on the side come up to me like, separate and like, hey, I just want to let you know like my father died from alcoholism. And like my mother, you know, struggles too. And like your book really hit me. and it's making me think about like my life and like, you know, and I'm like, that's, that's, that's all that matter. Like, that's like, that's the big like takeaway for me. It's like, good.

It's touching people. So now I know I wrote something that was like decent and I'm also like maybe changing like some lives. And like that's like, I think what we're all like here like trying to do. Yeah. Man, that's beautiful, dude. I'm so glad you you pulled it back out and, you know, fall through with that. But I think you're so right there, man. It's like it can feel strange at times, right? the shame or or the guilt or we should have known better or all the things we might tell ourselves that kind of keep it quiet and you know maybe it's kind of strange or weird we don't drink and because you hear people I think you know I always picked up on that early on I would hear people make comments about stuff and then I would say well I can't tell them because I've already

heard they don't know what I'm struggling with but I've already heard what their viewpoint is it is it out it so I'm like why can't say anything but I think there is a lot of power in just owning our truth and being authentic about what we went through and how we're living. And you said something else there, too, is that you feel, in a sense, is what I got from it anyway. You feel that like people in their first year really making a ton of progress. I tell people that I work with all the time that. And I'm like, my first year, like, you guys are just doing incredible stuff compared to the

slow role. Oh, yeah. First started this, you know, like, I was late knocking at that whole first year. And I'm just seeing people like thrive. I know people that gave up drugs or alcohol and they play in bands and they're like on stage still playing show or, you know, like starting podcasts and start, you know, sometimes people finding God and leaning into the church and like they're out there like, like, hey, like this is me. Like I'm sober. Like I, like, this is why. And, you know, like I was just like that whole first year, you know, it was, it was tough.

But I think that's good. You know, I'd rather like that that helped me, you know. And I think I'm not someone that dictates like how you should be sober and how you should stay so. Like just do do whatever it is that makes you sober and stay that way. You know, and I think people are really leaning into that. And there's so many different avenues you can go down. And I think it's, I think we're heading in the right direction as far as addiction. People get on like the, there are different places.

Like they want to have like these heroin sites where like people can go like safely inject and stuff. And people like will be in an uproar. And those same people are getting hammered at the bottom. bar and driving home. You know, so it's like, you go to your place for your addiction, you know, and then you're judging other people. And if, like, I hate to break it to people, but if alcohol was, like, invented today, it'd be illegal. And it should, I don't think it, I don't know if I'm, like, in the avenue, like, it should be. I think personal responsibility comes. But alcohol ruins more families than I think any other drug because a lot of times, like, kids can't, like, have that,

um, that outlet to get help, you know. I would love to help kids. Like, I think that'd be, like, my number one goal, but it's tough because it's like a parent that's an alcoholic, not going to take their kid. Like, let me drop you off to the meeting where you can talk about me. You know, so it's a lot of times I think kids just kind of suffer in silence. And, you know, I think couples suffer in silence. And they think that this is just what life is. And that's how they fall into the same trap of repeating that cycle.

And I think it's time that that starts getting broken. And luckily kids have more access to like online. Like my son's five and he knows more about some of these like, things on my phone than I do. So it's, you know, I think it's dangerous. You know,

I definitely keep a watch on that. But at the same time, it's like, good, good. Let him find like these bats and like learn from them, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. And I love that too. I mean, I'm with you 100% on the impacts that alcohol has on society or massive. But it is. And I mean, I think it's one of those things that's just been normalized. We think about,

you know, even growing up, I relate it back a little bit to like the cigarette smoking. If you look up on YouTube, you can, there before my time. or what I remember, but you can see the commercials where people are, you know, smoking cigarettes. And then it was like, okay, alcohol kind of took over.

And even this other big announcement with Dr. Ross there, too, of saying, you know, don't have it for breakfast, right? We're not going to put any sort of cap on it, but, you know, just don't have it for breakfast. It's like, okay, you know, like, are we going backwards here? Or are we just like not looking at the fact that this isn't a highly addictive substance? Right. And I think, like, for me, like my mother, like, I feel like, I feel horrible because she was that, like, desperate housewives era of, like, all the moms are getting shit-faced. And, like, that's, like, the reality. And they're all having fun and everything's great.

And it's like, some shine in rainbows. And then I think a lot of people realize that that's just not the case. And, like, you know, that was back when they would be like, oh, drink, drink wine. It's good for your heart. It's great for your heart. And then, like, now studies coming out. It's like, that's not even good. Like, it's not, there's no actual benefit to, like, putting it into your body, you know,

and it is a downer. It does make you feel like shit. Like, it's not, you know, some people drink to, like, get, like, to, like, kind of forget about their problems. And then, like, you wind up just, like, really, like, obsessing about them. Like, when you drink and it, it's, I just can't, you know, like, when you're young and you're partying, like, you're, like, you know, that's, I'm not saying, like, you know, experiment, like, you're going to do what you got to do.

But at the same time, like, let's stop pretending that, like, there's any added benefit to at all. You know, same with cigarettes like that. The fact that they used to advertise cigarettes, the camel, I remember, like seeing that all the time.

And I think, oh, man, that's wicked cool. Like, a campbell smoking, like, you know, cigarettes and,

you know, it's like, oh, it's a stress relief, like, have it. Like, that's why I started smoking,

you know, like, I was, like, 17 and I wasn't doing it to be cool. I knew, like, I was dealing with a lot at home.

And I was like, I had my friend who looked like he was, like, 21 and he was buying me cigarettes. So it's you fall into those like advertisements. But the same with food too, man. Like I try to eat like healthier and you'll see like honeynut shirios. Oh, it's heart healthy.

And then you look at a box and it's got the same sugar content as Lucky Charms. Like it's, you know, people fall for like these advertisements and there's no regulation to it. So why, you know, unfortunately that's why I just feel like so many people are so unhealthy these days. And like you said, like how are we going backwards? You know? Yeah. We've never known more than what we do now, and yet we're still going backwards. Yeah.

It's interesting, man. I always say, I feel like in every show you watch where there's like they're trying to like bust drug dealers or whatever, they're always like, follow the money. You know, so anytime I say something that I'm like, my spidey sense is like, okay, I wonder why that they've come out with sort of that approach now. And I'm like, follow the money, you know? Yeah. It's just it kind of makes you wonder, right?

And I'm with you too. not like this big anti-alcohol guy for people. I mean, that's exhausting, right? But I do think that we deserve the truth. I think that people deserve the truth and then they're going to make their choice, but at least help them make their choice based off facts, not based off of, you know, not have something for breakfast. Thank you, Derek, so much for jumping in, man.

So you can grab your book. It's a dog bowl on. Yeah, so this is what it'll look like because I know it's got kind of an odd title. If you search it on Amazon, you're going to literally have dog bowl show up, and then the book will be there. But yeah, no, I hope. So there's a part in the book where the main character kind of, because he doesn't realize like he's dead at first, and there's a big part of a book where, like, everything changes and involves a dog bull. I'll be enough. So, yeah, jump in, take a read. It's a fun ride. It takes, you know, a deep look into addiction.

I like having like being funny and stuff. So like this, you know, I do kind of put a little bit of humor in it just to kind of keep it from like the dreadful like realities of it. But at the same time there's a good message. And, um, yeah. Yeah,

awesome, man. Yeah, the dog bull. Um, and you mentioned there too earlier to end with this too. Like it's a fictional book. But would you feel it's safe to say you put a lot of sort of your experience or what you've seen kind of weaved in there too?

Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's some definitely stories in there that are roughly, based off true stories, you know, and it doesn't shy away from, you know, to write a book, you kind of have to exaggerate a little bit, you know, like characters a little bit more extreme than, you know, like, just like, you know, in a fictional book to keep it interesting. But there's definitely a lot of like similar stories that, like, I went through that, like, kind of come out in the book, you know, like, anyone that knows me that reads the book

will be like, oh, this is kind of rough? Is this like a memoir, like disguised as a fictional book? but the first manuscript I had it, like I really like kind of cut it down. It's like, no, this isn't about me. It's not about my family.

You know, it's, you know, my, my, I have a great relationship with like with my parents and stuff. So, but there are similarities,

you know, from like family dynamics that are definitely like, intertwined in. And I think that's why it's resonating with people because the book is honest. It's fiction, but it's honest. Nobody will read him. Like,

this isn't like realistic to what actually alcoholism is. Like, you know, if you're if you're in that world like you'll definitely pick up on some of the nuances yeah beautiful man even you saying that too of like adding another edge to it just hearing your story i'm like man there's a you know what i mean like it's a wild ride everything you've been through i'm like okay i'm gonna have to pick up the dog bowl to uh you know see what see what it's all about man thanks again dude anything for closing you want to mention i think uh i think i'm good man like i really

just like appreciate like you taking the time like I kind of like I've been following you on Instagram and I was like do I I wrote the book and I was like do I reach out like I don't want to look like an idiot like hey I wrote a book and you don't know me but you know I really appreciate you reaching out and I think what you're doing is great and I'm hoping to get there and reach people like through my like avenues and you know I think I think changing lives if that's what the the goal is and you know we're doing we're doing right yeah 100% man really enjoyed connecting today thank you yeah definitely thank Thank you. Appreciate it.

Hey, if you made it all the way to the end, thank you so much. Don't forget to leave a review, Spotify, Apple, thumbs up on YouTube. Wherever you're listening to the show, it helps out so much. I'll drop Derek's contact information down in the show notes below. You can go ahead and contact him if you were able to connect with any part of his story or check out his book. And I'll see you on the next one.