Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories - Why am I trying so hard to control the amount of alcohol I drink? with Jared Blake

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

In this episode of the Podcast, Jared shares his journey from a seemingly normal childhood in rural Arkansas to struggling with addiction and eventually finding sobriety. Jared shares about the impact of his addiction on his role as a father. Jared recounts his experiences in rehab, the importance of honesty and community in recovery, and how his career in music, including a stint on The Voice, helped shape his path. After having 12 years clean, Jared went back out for another drink but was able to exit the train much sooner this time.  He emphasizes the significance of finding purpose, helping others, and the continuous effort required to maintain sobriety. This is Jared’s story on the Sober Motivation podcast.   More Information on SoberLink: https://soberlink.com/recover Connect with Jared on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaredblakemusic/  

Welcome to Season 3 of the Subur Motivation Podcast. Join me, Brad, each week is my guests and I share incredible, inspiring, and powerful sobriety stories. We are here to show sobriety as possible one story at a time. Let's go. In this episode of the podcast, we have Jared, who shares his journey from a seamlessly normal childhood in rural Arkansas to struggling with addiction and eventually finding sobriety. Jared shares about the impact of his addiction on his roles of father.

Jared recounts his experiences in rehab, the importance of honesty and community and recovery, and how his career in music, including a stint on the voice, helped shape his path. After having 12 years clean, Jared went back out for another drink, but was able to exit the train much sooner this time. He emphasizes the significance of finding purpose, helping others, and the continuous effort required to maintain sobriety. And this is Jared's story on the Super Motivation podcast. It was vital in keeping me accountable. It doesn't interrupt my life. It only enhances my life. People in my program swore by it. These are just a few quotes from Soberlink users. Soberlink is not just any breathalyzer. It's the breathalyzer designed specifically for those in recovery from alcohol addiction. How it works is simple. You'll test at the same time every day. A built-in camera will take a photo during your test so it knows it's you testing. Tamper sensors will flag any attempts to cheat. And instant easy to read results are sent directly to your loved one. because it's not just about proving you're sober. It's about sharing your success, establishing patterns of trust, and dispelling doubts

with hard evidence. Soberlink, proof of sobriety at your fingertips. Visit soberlink.com slash recover to sign up and receive $50 off your device. How's it going, everyone? Welcome back to another episode. I heard the other day that I think yesterday, June 20th, was the first official day of summer. What a beautiful thing. I love nothing more in the summers than,

for the weekend for Friday, to take the kids out for ice cream. I honestly never thought my life would be that simple as for the longest time I just looked for the party every single Friday night. And it's just beautiful when you get sober and things slow down a little bit in some ways. And I'm able to just be there and present for the things that I find important. And for all of us, we're going to have certain things in our life that we find important. And before we jump into this episode, though, I want to give a huge shout out to my buddy Marty, an avid listener of the podcast.

We were able to connect over on the sober buddy meeting that we had the other night on Wednesday. And Marty was two days away from one year, 365 days. And I've been talking with Marty on and off since the beginning. So proud of you, buddy. Keep it going. Also, I want to just give a huge shout out and a thank you to everybody for your kids. continuous support here on the podcast. It's truly incredible. We've got some more. I know I say it all the time, but we've got some more amazing, amazing episodes coming up. And I really appreciate you guys

hanging out with me for this long. Maybe some of you have been here since the beginning at almost 160 episodes. I thought for sure you guys would have been bored of me by now. But if you've been around since the beginning or you're a new listener, welcome. It's so, awesome to have you and I'm so grateful for all these people who trust me to share their story. And I really get a lot of feedback that it's helping people. And that's what it's all about. And if you're struggling, we got you too. Just keep at it. Don't give up. That's the only way this thing doesn't work out is if you quit trying. So if you're struggling, heading into these summer months reminiscing about how things used to be, ground yourself with community, find some people

that you can share with. And if you want to, join us over at Sober Buddy. The meeting we had Wednesday was incredible. We just had another meeting Friday. I host three meetings in Sober Buddy each week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And I'm telling you after I leave these meetings, I'm pumped up. I'm ready to go and I know for sure that I'm going to get another day sober. connecting with other people, listening to them, and relating to their stories makes all the difference. We don't have to do this alone. So I'm rooting for you guys.

Now let's get to this episode. Welcome back to another episode of the Sober Motivation podcast. Today we've got Jared with us. Jared, how are you? Doing good, brother. How are you doing? I'm well, man. Thank you so much for being willing to jump on here and share your story with all of us.

Absolutely, absolutely. So what was it like for you growing up? Growing up, I tell people this all the time because it's, I think people expect you to have some sort of deep, bad thing that happened for you to start drinking and using the way you did. And I didn't. Life was pretty good. I'm the one that screwed it up. My parents were great. I did watch my oldest brother struggle with drugs from a very early age that I saw. So there were things that probably sculpted the way that I thought, but on a whole, my childhood was great. My father did go through. through a brief addiction period to pain pills after coming out of a pretty serious injury, the hospital. I observed that and I remember as a child, I would ride around my bicycle with cough drops and pretend like I was a drug dealer, which looking back on it is a pretty strange

thing for a child to do. I remember seeing one of my brothers do cocaine at a very young age as well, and that seemed to set with me. But the reality is, my parents were very supportive. very loving. We lived in a small town in Arkansas. We grew watermelons and had a convenience store and it was a pretty chill, rural life. And my oldest brother was the tough guy in school, the tattooed quarterback sort of figure. And I idolized him. And him and my middle brother turned me on the music at an early age. And it was like Johnny Cash,

Bob Seeger, ACDC, stuff like that. And I think I started to glorify what those guys were doing and how they lived. And so I think I set up a fascination with alcohol and drugs long before I ever. Started playing music around 16. And that was when I had my first drink. We were playing a Deer Camp party. They wanted a band for some sort of little celebration they were doing. And I remember getting ready for the stage.

And I walked around back and there was this old truck with a tailgate down and an ice chest on it. And I saw this little Jack Daniels down-home punch in there. And I thought, well, that looks good. And so I tried it. And I loved it so much that I immediately started looking at. I saw that number seven. And I immediately started looking around for where that number seven was. And so I went straight from the first night that I drank,

straight from a Jack Daniels down-home punch to going, where's the Jack Daniels? And I stayed there. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing all that. So you have two older brothers then. Yeah. Yeah. Two older brothers, one nine years and one 12 years older.

Oh, wow, okay. And grew up in Arkansas. How did school look for you? School was very small. Once again, I was a musician, so I was choir and band. Definitely, we lived out in the woods, so I didn't see people a whole lot. Definitely that added to the issues of needing to be out and about in a bar and that kind of thing. I was alone a lot growing up because my brothers were a lot older than me.

My parents were very busy running there. business so it was just me and a dog in the woods for probably at least half of my childhood yeah so after that first drink you know it's interesting because a lot of people share different stories some people that first drink hits right and other people it's like it wasn't necessarily the one that got all of the wheels turning full throttle but for you you would say that kind of primed things moving forward for you oh absolutely the first drink was amazing and i immediately went for the hardest version of it that I could find. And that night, the cop showed up. I remember I was singing Tracy Lawrence who's time marches on and a flashlight hit me in the eyes. And I was a cop and he said,

son, how much have you been drinking? And I said the same thing, all of us do, a couple. And he said, get your ass home, boy. And we left. And that was it. But I look back at that a lot now and think about how that set things in motion for me because I got away with it. It was something I wasn't supposed to be doing, and I got away with it. And I got home, and I was drunk, and peed on the side of my dad's truck, and just left a mess, and I should have gotten in a lot of trouble the next day. And my dad had a convenience store that was hour away, and him and my mom decided to spend the night there because they had to be there early the next morning.

And so no one came home. And so I walked out the next morning. First time getting drunk to a truck with both the doors open and sound equipment hanging out of it and pee all over things and just a mess and have been, you know, faced with the cops that night before and no consequences. And that definitely set something in motion to me like, hey, that was a lot of fun and I got away with it. Let's try it again. Yeah. No, for sure. But yeah, it's like that first time.

I mean, innocent, right? I mean, 16. and into it your first time, right? The cops aren't, it's not going to be like the movies where they take you down down kind of idea and it's going to be big trouble. But yeah, I think for some people that aren't going to struggle with this down the road, that might have hit, right? That might have been like, okay, you know, that's a little bit.

I could be a little bit much, right? But then there's guys like us, I'm assuming here, we're pushing everything to the limit. And if you give us an inch, we'll take a mile. So where do you go from there? I mean, how do things progress for you? And you're into the music, like you're in a band at this point? Yeah, so we're doing choir and band at school, but then also I have a band on the side. From there, I moved to Branson and I started playing music at this little diner there.

I had gotten married at that point, so I was 19 years old, married, and living a state away from my family. Wasn't drinking much, just still one of those occasions when things happened. And I did notice that whenever I had the opportunity, I always took a time. too far. And, but it stayed that way relatively for the next, probably till I was 21. And maybe that was just because it was harder to get booze on a regular basis. I wasn't focused on drinking. I just couldn't control it when I started. And so when I was 21, we moved to Nashville, me and my wife. And that's really where it started. And oddly enough, I had started a, Bible group at my church about the dangers of alcohol and drugs and living in a secular world.

And while I was doing that Bible study, I went from, it was about nine months. I went from being a casual drinker that occasionally drank too much to a daily drunk, essentially. And within probably three years of being here, I was in my first rehab. And just in about a three years span, I went from casually drinking to being drunk every day, doing cocaine at least two or three times a week, and putting away about two bottles of Jack per day. Wow. Looking back, what would you put a finger on for, like, how it progressed like that?

what was going on to get it to that level? I think that one was I was very uncomfortable being myself around people. I had grown up in a small town, and like I said, half of my childhood was alone. And so I was uncomfortable to be around people. Alcohol definitely opened things up and gave me, let my guard down. I was able to let you in. I was able to talk to you about things. I was able to be myself.

I felt cooler. And once I found cocaine, that was the perfect combination for me. alcohol and cocaine, because all of a sudden then I felt like a superhero. And you just felt invincible. I could say anything and do anything I wanted. During that time period, I signed my first publishing deal with Sony, and things definitely escalated at that point because they get you in trouble. You could call them and be like, hey, I'm in jail and someone will bail you out. Hey, I need five grand and someone will come give it to you. You had lawyers at your disposal. They wanted to keep a clean image on you.

and so you just had a lot of people that were there to defend you and take care of you. To be honest, the cops weren't as active on DUIs and that kind of stuff back then. And you're talking about 20 years ago, and they just weren't as active. Uber, you know, wasn't a thing. So it was every single night driving drunk home, you know, for basically 10 years. But yeah, I think it was just being uncomfortable with being me on a whole, you know, and thing for most of us, alcohol and alcohol in the... drugs if you can get that right balance. And you often do in the beginning, it makes you feel whole.

It makes you feel complete. And I talked to kids in schools about drugs and alcohol addiction. And, you know, when I was growing up, it was the DARE program where they were constantly telling you all these bad things that were going to happen. And for what I saw in my life, the bad things didn't happen in the beginning. The bad things were 10, 15 years down the road. You know, it was all freaking great. The reason that I became an addict is because it was the purpose. It was the perfect solution for a long time. You know, it got me where I wanted to go. It made me feel the way I wanted to feel. It was so amazing. I mean, you get the right combination of drugs and alcohol, and it's so amazing that you'll give up your family over it. You know, so I don't know that there was a people a lot

of times look at, you know, what tragedy happened in your life that made you this way. And I go back to like, dude, alcohol and drugs make you feel that good. It just felt good. Yeah. I mean, I can't relate with you too. I didn't have any, you know, major tragedies growing up. But I think in my life, there was like a crossroads. Like it felt like my life was coming this way. And then it just crossed at that maybe perfect time of when I got introduced to it. And I struggled with a lot of that stuff. Maybe you mentioned as well, like the insecurities and having a hard time meeting people and fitting in and dating girls and finding these communities to be a part of. And I found out early on, if I just drank alcohol, I could go to these parties and I could fit in. And it didn't really

matter about the rest of my life. That's what I was worried about. And I was craving that connection with people and alcohol provided it. And I'm with you too. I mean, the combination of alcohol and cocaine. Like it was really weird. I had this like big secret cocaine addiction. None of my friends ever did or ever did it or ever understood it. It thought it was like the strangest thing. But nobody ever said like to stop it. But it was like this extra secret on top of what I was doing when we'd go out to the bar. I would be disappearing. But nope, when I think back to it, Nobody ever really, like they noticed, but nobody ever really thought that it would turn into maybe what it turned into, right? It was just like innocent fun on the weekends, but I guess I only showed people as much as I wanted to show them.

But it makes a lot of sense. I grew up. I remember in grade five, we did the Dare program, just say no to drugs, you know? And I mean, I think that there was things about the Dare program, which, I mean, we're great. At least they were doing something. But I also think like, but they didn't, I didn't pick up the thing about, hey, if this thing grabs you, how do you get out? out of it. It was all about preventative, which I think is great, and that's going to probably help a lot of people. But when I found myself stuck in those early years, I didn't have any

experience on how the heck to get out of it. And I was just surrounding myself with more and more people who accepted that this was like my life and they didn't say anything. Not that it was their responsibility to, but it may have been helpful in a sense. So you go to Nashville. I mean, was moving to Nashville for music? That was the reason? Yeah, for sure. It was 100% from Nashville for music. And it was the best move that I could have made in the same time, you know, opened up doors that were, you know, they were dangerous. But yeah. And you got married at 19, too, wow. And then you moved there with your wife and, you know, a couple years into this thing. The music's going well. I mean, are you producing music, writing music? Like, how is your deal with Sony?

I was writing music for Sony. And so it was a deal with Bob DePiro with Love Monkey and Sony Tree. and so you're just getting paid to write songs every day. And it was awesome because, you know, you went downtown, met up with some guys, wrote songs, and around 3 or 4 o'clock, went to the bar, or if you weren't writing anything good, you went to the bar at 11 o'clock, you know. And you'd start drinking and you'd stay there until the party started, you know. And that was super intriguing, that whole day drinking thing. And so by the time people showed up, you were already full party mode.

And I think that's also where cocaine came into pictures because, you know, once you've been drinking since, you know, 11, 12, 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and then everybody starts showing up at the bar around, you know, 6, 7, 8 and there, you're already, like, gone, you know. And I remember another artist friend of mine. One night, he was about to go home. And Nashville was very different back in those days, and you got away with things that are mind-numbing now. I remember he just pulled out some cocaine and he just put it right there on the bar and hit this. And I was like, dude, you're going to do that and then drive home? And he was like, this is how I drive home. And I was like, huh?

And you know, and he was like, try this and tell me this isn't awesome. And I did it, you know, and it was like all of a sudden you were alive again. You went from, you know, being like, I'm about to pass out to let's go. And first night I did cocaine. I was at the Dumbrium section of National. It's kind of cross the street. It's a bar section that's connected to all the record labels and that kind of stuff. And the next thing I knew, I was downtown at a club called Stage.

I got in a fight, got arrested, went to jail, and that was my first time doing cocaine. And I remember coming to the next day after I was out of jail and went home and went to bed, it came to. And my first thought was, I've got to find out where to get that. Like it wasn't like, holy crap, I just went to jail. I shouldn't do that again. It was like, I got to go find cocaine. Like, and I mean, obviously those sort of things, they're undeniable. And we deny them and act like, you know, we don't have a problem or whatever. But it's like, come on. Who does that? Who goes to jail immediately when you try something to wake up the next day and go, let's do that again? Yeah. I'm with you too. Actually, my first time doing cocaine was this was the same kind of experience, right? It was the guy I was. I was. The guy I was. with, I was working at a restaurant at the time and this was an older guy. So I got plugged into, you know, some of these older guys that worked in the kitchen. That's what the deal was. We're leaving this college party and he pulled out this dollar bill or whatever unfolded it. Bang, there's

the stuff. And it's like, hey, we do some of this. We can drive home better. I mean, just thinking back and reminiscing in my mind on those stories, you know, I mean, it was complete madness, right? It was just that insanity of things really starting to pick up. But like you mentioned too, man, that then like we don't necessarily realize it at the time. It's just like forward and onward. Yeah. I mean, you just brought up the role of dollar bill. Like that's some of the weird stuff. And honestly, those are things that I still reminisce about every once in a while of like, it wasn't just the drug. It was the way that you did it. It was the dollar bill. It was the razor blade. It was the mirrors. It was the glass. It was sneaking off to a bathroom. It was just every way that, it was, you know, it was, every way

I fell in love with the way that you did. And for me in particular, I romanticized cocaine and Jack Daniels in particular. And that's something that people don't talk about as often, and I don't fully understand it. You know, but like I, to a degree, just fell in love with the whole process of it, you know? Yeah, I hear you on that for sure. So you mentioned there, too, that you went to the rehab for the first time. I mean, how does that come about to your life? Did somebody mention something or how do you end up there?

Yeah, the first time, I'm not totally sure how it came about. The parts that I remember of it were, you know, I was missing. I remember that I was missing for like two or three weeks. And then I had missed several shows. I remember sitting on a bar at one point in time. And my guitar player called me and going, hey, where are you at? And I was like, I'm at 10 roof. And he was like, we have a show in like 10 minutes.

And I was like, yeah, I'm not going to be there. I just hung up. I just went back doing what I was doing, you know. But I was going for like two or three weeks. And then the next thing I remember was a friend picking me up from like an alley. And then I was at the doctor. And I remember you, you know, your mind just goes in and out when you're really messed up. And I had a cocktail of pills and coke and just been drinking for days.

And so I was just completely out of my mind. And I remember being in this doctor's office and seeing my brother there. And the doctor would come in and I'd talk to him and then he'd leave. And I'd talk to my brother and the doctor would come in. I'd talk to him and he'd leave and then I'd talk to my brother. My brother's also a doctor. And then he was like, hang on. And he goes outside and talks to the doctor.

And I remember him telling him, hey, you're not getting the full. scope of what's going on with my brother. He was like, I don't understand what's happening. He was like, but he is crazy out of his mind until you walk in. And when you walk in, he's all of a sudden like straight lace, speaking straight, everything about him seems totally fine. He was like, so you don't understand like, this is all just a big game for him. He's pretending when he's in front of you. And I think back on that a lot because most of my friends didn't know how messed up I was. you know, and it's really weird how we as alcoholic and addicts often have like this whole other person in us that understands when there's danger of you stopping me from doing what I want to do,

and we become a whole other person, and we can just, and just straighten up and be on point for a certain amount of time, but then as soon as the danger has left, you know, then we're right back to being, you know, psycho again. And I remember that. And then I remember being checked into this, because I was broke. So I remember being checked into like a state facility psych ward. And still was that taken enough that I still don't really remember anything. But I remember, you know, I didn't have shoe strings on all of a sudden. And I remember the mirror was made up metal and was bolted to the wall.

And I remember counting blue ducks that I thought were walking. back and forth past my room. And obviously there were no blue ducks. And the only thing I never think is, like, I had to hold that from like that Adam Sandler movie because quite frankly, I've never seen a blue duck before. I'm assuming that's what was going on in my head. But I was there for probably two or three days.

And then I remember talking to this guy. And I was starting to process at that point, like, I don't think I'm supposed to be wherever I am. Like, this isn't, this, it seems like these people, have some serious problems, and I'm starting to come down, so I'm starting to see reality there. And I had a meeting with the head psychiatrist that day. And so I'm just sitting now with the doctors, and the doctor at the end of the table, I find out was the doctor that was credited for getting Johnny Cash Clean.

And none of this has really occurring to me. I'm not really understanding where I'm at. I'm not even noticing anything about myself. And then the doctor at the end of the table says, son, I'm looking over your paperwork here. I feel like that you may have lied to us about your alcohol consumption when you came in here. And I said, what did I say? And he said, you said that you have about a six pack a day.

And I remember being frantic. And I was like, nope, I buy two bottles of Jack every day. And he goes, well, that would explain you're shaking. And I looked down and realized that they had tied me to this wheelchair. because I was shaking uncontrollably. And he said, we're going to check you in for a long-time treatment here. And then, like you said, it was a state facility. They checked me in and started detoxing me.

And at some point, they had contacted my brother and said, hey, you know, we can only go so far as a state facility. You're going to need to get him into a real rehab because he's going to die. And he was very point-blank, like, this dude is not going to survive if you don't get him some serious help. And so we detoxed there and they transferred me to Cumberland Heights on the outskirts of Nashville here. Music Cares picked up the bill. So I did a lot of service work with them these days. They picked up the bill to put me in rehab. And, you know, that was one of those first moments of realizing what the recovery community was like.

Because I remember thinking about it was a $28,000 bill that these people picked up, you know, to send me to rehab. And I remember them telling me, hey, your life is worth something. And they sent over all these messages from different celebrities that had been to this rehab and stuff, people that they knew that I would look up to in music industry. And they were awesome about trying to make sure that I understood. Hey, there's a lot of people in your industry that can side with what you're going through, and they still made it through. They've still had great careers, you know, and they wanted to make sure I understood everything and made me feel at ease.

and so went to Cumberland and was there for 30 days came out and still couldn't put together more than 30 days together for the next four years what I tried to do and every once in while I'd get 30 days occasion I'd get 60 days but on a whole I was just in and out of the program yeah and how old about are you when you went to the center 24 24 okay did you try a fellowship or anything after like after you discharge they give you a plan to do you? You know, they told you to do the 90 and 90, and I did. I think that was the only saving grace for me with it, is that I remember someone telling me,

you don't have to quit, you just have to have the desire to quit, and you have to be honest with yourself. And so I'd show up to meetings, and sometimes I'd show up to meetings, and I was drunk. And I'd keep my mouth shut, and if anybody asked, I'd admit I'm drunk. And so that was the message I took was like,

if I'm honest with people, and I even had a sponsor through the whole thing, you know, and I would, I'd call my sponsor and be like, hey, I'm going to go get drunk tonight. He was like, I think that's a horrible idea. I'm like, ah, you told me I had to tell you, so I'm doing it. And I was brutally honest about things, but, you know, definitely struggled with it for the next four years. Yeah. What was your family's thoughts on it, too, after the rehab? Because I know, like, a lot of people, too, think you just go to the rehab and then, you know, Bing, Bang, Boom, somebody's done, right? And I don't know. That's definitely not always the story. Yeah, I don't. My family didn't understand it. I mean, none of them really understood addiction or alcohol or anything else.

So they were baffled and confused of like, you know, why I couldn't stop just like most people, you know. Yeah, no one really understood. And some people fought you on the idea of like, oh, you're not actually an alcoholic because of this and because of that. I think most of those people were probably just trying to make sure that no fingers got pointed at them for their issues or problems. but yeah, they didn't understand at all. And at that point, then, I had four children by that time. And the oldest girl was four at the time. So, for no.

So I would have three at that point. I didn't have the fourth one yet. I had three at that point. And so the oldest one was four, and there was a two-year-old, and there was a newborn. And, you know, the four-year-old had a lot of questions about, you know, what was happening, why I was gone all the time and how come I didn't come home at night. She probably, out of all the things that people said, my daughter probably had the biggest effect on me

because it was just a child asking questions. She wasn't accusing you of anything. She's asked you questions, and it made you think. Yeah. Wow, yeah, I was wondering that. So, yeah, three kids, my goodness, and this sort of thing is just taking the front seat, maybe, in a sense, to everything.

drinking for sure I tell this story when I'm in schools and it's still probably the most powerful moment of my life I would come home

in the morning you know typically between you know 4 and 7 a.m. Still drunk my wife and I obviously didn't have a very good

relationship at that point and she typically had been up all night you know trying to figure out where I was so she was asleep and I'd just get home and watch the kids. And I was sitting on the couch with my daughter watching cartoons, eating Cheerios, and she looks up at me and she said, Daddy, you're the greatest daddy ever.

And for a brief moment, I was like, yeah, yeah. And then it hit me. I'm drunk and I'm high right now. I've been out all night, getting high, getting drunk, and this little girl thinks that I'm awesome. And I realized that, you know, it was only going to be a matter of time before she realized who I was, found out who I really was, you know, and she was either going to continue to love me and become just like me, or she was going to hate me

and or hate me and become like me yet or she was going to hate me and become like me and marry someone just like me. And that was the switch for me of, oh crap, something's got to be done. This is not okay. I don't think I cared about my life at that point, but the thought that my baby girl could grow up and marry me,

you know? was too much for me. And that didn't make me quit. I think I probably drank for another couple months and then checked back in the rehab for the second time. Yeah. Wow, that's such a powerful story. You know, because I think there's a lot of parents too

who you get in that spot, right, where it's that yo-yoing effect, maybe in a sense, where it's like you want nothing more to quit. You want nothing more than to be this example, but also this addiction is just taking on a life of its own. And then you have that conversation to where your daughter says that, like, you're the greatest ever. But then I think we know, or you knew deep inside that eventually that perception could change. And that was a scary spot to be in, right? Because. Yeah.

Yeah. And then, too, like finding somebody that was living that way down the road was scary in itself, too, for her, right? And then your other children that are younger too, right? I mean, that's coming down the line of four when, you know, I have a six-year-old, a four-year-old, and a two-year-old, and I'm with you, man. The questions, the observations, and the intelligence of them every day blows me away. They don't always know how to articulate what they're thinking and feeling, but you can read it, you can read it, and they know exactly what's going on. So a couple months later, you decide to try out rehab again.

How does that look for you? Well, I remember I came into, I'm getting confused about which rehab was what. I'm pretty sure that I was, had came into Sony, and you had these little passes that you could get in for any time for writing and such. And one of the songpluggers found me on one of the couch, couches in one of the main areas in Sony. And they said, have you, have you been home? and I was like, when? And they were like, pretty sure those are the same clothes that I saw you in a couple nights ago performing.

And I was like, yeah, I haven't been on since that. And she was like, you sure you don't want to go back to rehab again? And I was like, I mean, maybe I should. And I volunteered to go that time, but I remember there was one in particular counselor at the rehab that specialized in relapse. And her name was Regina. And I absolutely adored her.

Older lady, and she just had a way with words and how she'd pull things out of you. And I knew that there was something deeper that we weren't getting to. It wasn't a surface level thing. And so I said, I'll go back, but only if I have Regina. And so they set it up. So he took care of it and set me up with Regina. And, man, the lady just pulled so many things out of me. Like, I remember sitting in class one day or in group, and she, there was a pastor in there, a pastor of a very large church in Nashville was in there with us.

And she put him standing in a chair. And she was like, is this what it feels like to you when you're preaching over your congregation? All these people sitting lower than you and you standing up here. And he was like, yeah. and she was like, and do you feel pressure? And he was like, yeah, you feel pressure to be better than everybody else and it sucks and it's hard. And, you know, you're not allowed to fail. Like, they don't want to treat you as a human being, you know, because you're supposedly better than them.

And he's like, if you do fail, then you lose your job. And he was like, it's like, so you can't admit any of your fault. And he's like going through this whole thing. And Regina's watching me get agitated the entire time that he's talking. And she gets him like really hype. And then she goes, Jared, what are you feeling right now? And I just blurt out, get off the freaking chair, dude. If you don't want to be on the chair, if you want people to look at you,

then stop climbing up on places where people are going to look at you. Just go sit with everybody else. And she immediately pulls away from him and goes, so do you think that you might be doing that at all when you step on that stage? And you're just like, oh, geez. You know, like, and she just had a way of pulling through. things out of you and getting two issues. And she had me really wrapped up in a conversation one day. And I can't even remember what it was about. And in the middle of it, totally out of left field,

she said, do you love your wife? And I said, no. And she was like, huh, did you know that about yourself? And I was like, no. And she started challenging, you know, like what it was, what my relationship was like. And it became very obvious to me like, oh, a huge portion that I'm struggling with staying sober is this very toxic relationship that I'm in. And I wouldn't leave it because I didn't want to leave my children. And so my therapy took a different turn and into like, hey, you're destroying your children by staying in a relationship that's keeping you unhealthy. You're going to have to leave. You're going to have to put your sobriety first in order to become the dad that you need to be to those kids.

And, you know, because they were watching me, and they knew that I drank a lot, and they were little, so they didn't know how to process anything, but they knew that, you know, daddy yelled at mom a lot, and daddy punched walls, and daddy threw fits, and the cops showed up a lot. And, you know, so they were observing those things. And so when I left rehab that time, I decided to not go home. I went to live with a friend who was actually one of my drinking buddies, and my therapist felt like I would be safer with one of my drinking buddies than I would going back home to a toxic

environment. And I went 12 years without a drink after that, for a job. Wow. And what helped you for those 12 years? As the friends, the people that I put myself around, it was finding a higher power. Definitely a lot of meetings for the first like for probably four years. I backed off after that. I think it went on autopilot after that became the, man that I wanted to be and watched my relationship when my children grow and the more the more they praised me for the father that I was being that the more you wanted to be a better father met a wonderful woman got married to her and built a life that you know I just didn't want to let go of and so I found it really easy to be sober when you were building a life that you wanted and you had so

much to lose. During that time period, I went on the first season of the Boyce, and that's where sobriety changed drastically for me, because they put it front-center. They announced me, I believe on the first night out, they announced me as recovering alcoholic addict father of six because, you know, they want that topic that makes everybody talk and makes everybody look. At that time, my new wife had two kids, so now I have six children. and I'd been clean for eight or nine years at that point. And my social media went nuts with people. I want to know how I got clean,

how their father gets clean, how do they help their brother, their mother, their sister, their cousin. And most people don't know this, but it was Twitter that was mainly going nuts for me. And on the sidebar of your phone on Twitter,

there's a little dot. And that dot means, like, you have messages waiting. But if you have enough messages, that dot turns into a line. So there's this line that stays there. And I could literally, I was getting so many messages about sobriety that I could scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and you'd never get up to the top of the messages.

And so I found myself answering messages back to people about two hours per day. I would put aside and just answer messages about sobriety. And you just felt like you were up against something that you were never going to fix. And most of these people there are asking for help, but they didn't really want them. help, you know, they want the quick fix. And you felt like that you were just wasting time. And so we started looking at, well, you know, how, if you can't fix people, then maybe you can, you know, stop people from going there. So we started going into schools and playing some songs and talking to kids about drugs and alcohol addiction, but from a very different perspective,

instead of, you know, all the negative and all the bad things that were going to happen to you, we took a positive approach of life, let's focus on something positive, maybe we'll get a positive reaction to it. And so we looked at it and went, what do you want? What do you want out of life? Who do you want to be? What do you want your life to look like? Who has a life that looks like what you want?

How did they do it? What do they do? What are their practices? So whether you wanted to be a baseball player or whether you wanted to be, you know, an influencer on social media, or whether you wanted to be a doctor, looking at the people who would accomplish the goals that you want and looking at how they did it and then looking at do they actually have the life that you want? Are they happy? Are they at peace?

You know? And thinking from a perspective of when you're motivated for what you want out of life and what you want to do, you don't really have time for alcohol and drugs. If you're really going to stay focused on what you want out of life and realize like I think it's when you don't know who you are and you don't know what you want that you start getting lost. And you see people that are moving from specifically like high school into college. That's a big spot where you don't know where you are, where you see alcohol and drugs rise. You see people coming out of college and not necessarily knowing what job they're going to. Any sort of transition in your life is where we typically

see a big spike in alcohol and drugs. So we ran that program in over 300 schools over the next few years. we tacked it on to every tour that we did. We latched on to another couple schools. And that turned into realizing that it was the same thing for veterans when they were leaving the military. There was that uncertainty of who they were and alcohol and drug spike. It was people leaving prison. It was just the fact that you have this identity as an alcoholic, and now you've got to create this whole new identity.

Well, you have the same thing in high school or being a veteran or being in the NFL or anytime you're leaving something, you don't know who you are without that thing. And so that was the way that we started motivating and talking to people through that. And I think I found myself in the same position as that pastor years ago, where all of a sudden all the eyes were on you

and you felt like you always had to be on your best behavior and you had to say the right things. And I felt that pressure getting to me. And I felt like I was having to be something that I wasn't necessarily because it's not like you got it all figured out. You know, like, you're trying to help people, but you don't know everything

there is about sobriety, but people are treating you that way. And it felt like a lot of pressure. And I got in a fight with my wife one night, and she said, you need to go find who you are. And I said, okay. And I was

12 years sober at the time, and I went to a bar, and I got drunk, and I came home, and she said, you're drunk. And I said, yeah, I went to find you who I am, and apparently I'm still a drunk. And I just started everything over again. I wouldn't say that I went right back to where I was,

because I now had this program. And so it went to a hiding. I tried to drink as little as possible in as few locations, and I tried to hide it as much as possible, because now I have all these people looking to me for sobriety questions, and I'm no longer sober. Man, that sounds exhausting, Jared. Yeah, it was.

Trying to hide out. I mean, I'm with you, too, and I wanted to touch back to on when you left that treatment center the first time. And these are my thoughts on it is I think a lot of the times when I tried to quit everything, my focus was on the thing, whether it be alcohol, drugs. And I think what you got from that therapy session and the person you worked with there is that, hey, let's look at the bigger picture here. and try to improve or try to make changes in other areas of your life

so that you can have a chance to feel good about where you're headed. And then maybe with plugging into the program and stuff, we can get some headway on the drinking because I see a lot of people come into all this and it's all about the drinking, right? People's question is, how do I stop drinking? And it's like, hey, that's a great question. I mean, that's a really good question. But honestly, I can answer it in like really three words,

or two words, don't drink. Like, there you go. That's your solution. What I think the bigger question is to the whole process is how do you stay sober and start to rebuild the life that you can be proud of. And for me, anyway, I had a little bit of cleaning up to do from what was. Everything, just because I decided to get sober, everybody wasn't just, you know, cheering from the rooftops. Like, hey, this is great. I had to go back and look at some of the disastrous stuff that I left behind. And I think maybe just hearing that part of your story, it's like, hey, you started to look at people, places and things. around you that also would have to make changes. But it really hits home, man, especially what I do and try to help people. And I mean, I think my idea of this is every day I learned that I know less and less about this whole thing. I know absolutely nothing for this. And the reason being is because people have so many different experiences throughout their life. And they have so many different journeys. And the circumstances are so different for everybody. Like, I don't know I've come across one person with the exact same story.

A lot of our stories are similar, but it's really hard to just give this blanket direction or blanket advice to people without understanding what they've got. But that's the thing too is I think we both know this all too well that it's like a process to get sober. It's like you've got to maybe go through some stuff and you've got to experience some stuff and you've got to maybe hit a wall or two and you've got to hit,

you know, you've got to hit something. And like, I don't think it's required that you hit a bottom, but you've got to go through some pain to be able to work up the courage and, you know, be interested in like going after this thing because it's going to be painful as well. Beautiful, but it's going to be tough as well. So you get it. So what was the experience like on the voice? That was really interesting to me.

Did they mention to you that like, hey, this is what your tag or intro is going to hear? No, not at all. And once it had been said, my team, going nuts because we were like, well, this is what we want to be branded as. This is not what we want to talk about. And I think that's probably where the birth of our charity came from and going into schools because now you were branded that way. You had to figure out a way to utilize this correctly then because the music industry

sponsor-wise is ran by alcohol. And no alcohol sponsor wants to sponsor a guy that's recovering addict alcohol. And so it was a weird spot. And the voice was incredible. Like I said, I credited it to give me the career I had today as well as giving me the platform to help other people. Had they not announced that day, then I would have never known what I really feel like I was intended to do, because the times that I feel the happiest in my career or the happiest just in general outside of my family or when I'm out talking to kids or a veteran or a prisoner, someone about alcohol.

And in this career, because you're in the public view so often, there's never a performance that you don't wind up talking to someone about it afterwards. Everyone assumes that you're drinking, even though multiple times during the show I'll play a particular song and discuss, you know, my issues. They're often drunk and not necessarily listening to what you're saying. they just hear the song and they'll come up to you afterwards

and ask you what's in your cup and when you say water they always look at you very puzzled and if they're in the right head space the next question is always why you say water and they get why and I'm recovering alcoholic at fact the other night I came on stage

and this guy said why and I said I'm recovering alcohol and he goes oh he's like I had a problem for a while I went to rehab and stuff but I've got a handle on it now and I was like dude you're double-fisted currently. And he was like, yeah, but that's just because they said they're going to shut the bar down. I won't be able to get a drink later. And I said, you don't see the issue here. You're still

preparing to drink later. Anyway, it's constant that people want to tell, you know, I got to balance on this. And, you know, I think that's our opportunity in that point, you know, to not point out what they're doing that. So we just love on them, joke with them and, you know, try to say those things that might make them think a little bit about like, oh, maybe I don't. And so typically when it comes up, they want to know, you know, why do you stop drinking? Why do you feel like you needed to? I typically go for things that are pretty undeniable to someone who drinks a lot, which is, it was hurting my family.

The reality is that I started thinking about all the time, effort, money being spent on alcohol and realized all the time that it was taken away from my family. all the things that I could be doing with them different, like going on a hike or playing games with them. I started looking at, and this is the reason I quit, this last go-round, started back drinking and did that for five years. And when I decided to stop, it was August of 2023. And I just played a show where I messed up nine out of 18 songs.

I screwed up. And I even stood on stage at some point. just not singing and just looking at the people and thinking, I wonder if they know I'm supposed to be singing right now. And then I thought, well, they came to hear me sing, so there's a likely chance that they think I'm supposed to be singing. And then I just walked off stage. And that registered with me the next morning of,

oh, you've let this demon back in. This thing has control of you again. and it became that fear of realizing that that bottle, that drink had come after me before. It had taken my life before. It had taken my children before. It had taken my career before. And it was coming after me again. And so I could either let it destroy me or I could get off the train quicker this time.

And so I quit the next day. And it's been a completely different experience this go around because it didn't feel like you had to. Now all of a sudden, it's a realization of I stopped because I want to improve my life. My ass wasn't on fire. I wasn't going to jail. It wasn't losing my house. I just wanted a better quality of life. I wanted to be, I mean, I'm 45 now.

And I think, you know, life is half over. and you've never really gotten to see what you're actually capable of. And I just wanted to know that the rest of my life that I spent being the best husband, father, man, brother, friend, that I could possibly be to know that I had achieved the best that I was capable of being and doing. Yeah, wow, that's powerful. Yeah, because you mentioned, I think, before we jumped on the show here, that it was more like the back problems before.

This person was on your back. That person was on your back. And I think the game completely changes when it's our own decision. And I think that, you know, I think that, like for a lot of people, I think that's the hardest thing to come to.

That decision, right? We want to hang on on the fence. We want to go out on Friday nights and we don't want to have any disaster or stuff happens, but it usually does happen. But then we're like, oh, it only happens once a month. So, I mean, I can handle that.

And then the lines get blurred, right? And then we're in this state, some of us for years of this undecision, like not making a decision, undecided about what do we want for our life? Like even when you mentioned back to about sharing at the schools, like where do you want to be in life? What's your vision for things? Does this fit into it or does it not? And I think all that stuff you mentioned there is an incredible motivation.

And you got to that point. It sounds like at the end, if any of this stuff is going to be possible for my life, being the father, I want to be, being that husband, being the brother, just being. a good person out there that in my career to take my career maybe to the next level that this is probably going to have to be part of it. Well, yeah, and the insanity of realizing, like, why am I trying so hard to figure out how to control alcohol? Why am I trying so hard? You know, like, when you know that this thing has the ability to take away everything that you love the most, when you know this thing has the ability to put you in prison and should have the things that you've

done, the amount of times that you've driven drunk, the amount of times that you could have killed somebody that all the things that you know that every one of us know. And yet, you're going, let me play with this a little bit. Let me see if I can figure, why the hell are you trying so hard to fit alcohol in your life and still accomplish and still have a life? Why don't you stop? Just stop. And if you don't want to stop, then you've just proven you're a freaking alcoholic.

You know, because a normal person. that didn't have a problem would go, hey, this is causing issues. I'm going to stop doing this. Stop, you know. Yeah, no, 100%. I mean, it's progressive over time. I think for most people that I've talked to anyway,

it's progressive. So what it looks like today is not what it's going to look like a year from now. And that's what I think is, like we look back, even at the beginning of your story. Like, you enjoyed it from the beginning. But it also served the purpose. And, you know, it wasn't terribly bad to begin. with. And then over time, as we go through your story, I mean, you just look at how things progress,

and everybody shares that story about how things just gradually have a bigger impact on our lives. Yeah. And you know what's incredible, though, is that I also find that today, some days I still struggle with feeling like I can talk in front of people or be accepted. And I think we all go through that. I don't think there's any addict out there that doesn't relate to that to a degree of not feeling worthy or not feeling enough, not fitting in and having trouble communicating with others like this, we're always pretty good at. But stepping into a room of people,

I either, I'm very one side of the other, I either feel like I'm the shit, or I feel like I'm nothing. And I don't know what it's going to be when I walk into that room. But, and alcohol definitely helps you. feel better walking into that scenario. But what I find these days, when I'm not feeling good about myself walking into a room, I probably haven't shared with anybody. I probably haven't been

trying to be a service to other people that day or that week or maybe even that month. If I'm constantly sharing with others and trying to help people, I feel good about me. It's pretty hard to feel bad about yourself when you're consistently trying to help other people, when you're doing good things, if you, once again, like what we talked about before, getting you something to live for, when you're being a great father, when you're being a great husband,

when you sacrifice for others to make other people's lives better, it's hard for me to feel bad about myself on those days, you know? And so I think that's part of what's different now as well, is understanding, like, the AA thing of, like, you've got to give it a way to keep it. Very true in my life, at least. If I'm not trying to help the next alcoholic or at it, then I start losing my sobriety. It doesn't mean that I drank over it, but my sobriety is much, much more than drinking or not drinking these days.

You know, my sobriety is my connection with my higher power, which I choose to call God. Having that spiritual connection, that spiritual awakening, if I'm connected to my higher power, I don't have to worry about how I treat people. treat people better. If I'm connected to my power, I naturally love people. I naturally forgive people. I naturally have mercy and grace. But I have to put the same amount of work that I did into drinking. I have to put that same amount of work into my spiritual program as well. Yeah. And that's an incredible point, too, is about the work and the effort. And so you got to put in that, you got to put the effort into all these different categories. And then, I mean, giving it away, I love that too. And I mean, I think the thing

you shared about walking into the room, like, I'm the same way. Some days I'm on and some days I'm not. And I think that's maybe one of the beautiful things about this whole sobriety journey is that we go with the ebbs and flows. And we realize, too, that it's normal to not be on all the time and to not be feeling it all the time. And, you know, it's like just going into those uncomfortable situations despite how we feel about it. As somebody listening, Jared, as we wrap things up here, I wanted to hear your thoughts, too, on Orange Keychain, and then I'm just wondering some advice or direction you had for anybody who is struggling. Orange Keychain was written by Jeffrey Steele.

Normally, I write everything I cut, but Jeffrey Steele is, I think he's been sober about nine years now, but he's a hit songwriter in Nashville. He's written over 40 number one hits. And I was writing with him one day, and he said, hey, I want you to hear this song. And I listened to it, and I was like, how come no one's cut that song?

Because, you know, everybody cuts all of his songs, you know, pretty much. And the song really, to me, spoke. It sounded like an Eric Church sort of song. I was like, why? Is Eric Church not into this one? And he said, I sent it to him. He put it on hold. He's like, the song's been put on hold a lot.

He was like, but the second chorus of the song says, you know, people find Jesus in the damnedest ways. And one of those ways it mentioned was on a bathroom floor with a razor blade. and he said, every record label says that razor blade line is too much. And they want me to change it. And I keep saying,

this is my own personal story. So no, I'm not changing that line for you. And so the story behind it was he said that he was looking for an AA meeting in Florida. His son had recently passed away, and he had been sober for about a year.

And he said, I was just at that moment where I was just, yelling at God and cursing God and basically yelling and going, hey, if you are real, I need you to show me something now. You have to show me something. I'm not doing this crap anymore. He was like, you know, I lost my kid, and I'm sober, and life sucks, and can't find this damn AA meeting.

And he was like, I was pulled over the side of the road, and a guy pulled up beside me on a bicycle, tapped on my window. He said, I rolled down my window, and I told him I didn't have any money. And he went away and comes back a little later, taps on the window, and I get a little more aggressive about it this time and said, I told you, I didn't money. The guy goes away. So the next time the guy comes up and he's pointing at something,

and I rolled down my window and I'm pissed off now. And I was like, dude, I told you I don't have any money. Get out of here. He's like, and the guy leaves. And he was like, and I'm still yelling at God in my car about, hey, I need you to show me a sign that only I would understand. give me something specifically me. And he said, I looked in the rearview mirror, and as the guy was pulling away,

I realized that the guy was on this very like Pee-Wee-Herman sort of bike, really tripped out old bike. And he said, most people don't know, but I have this huge collection of bicycles. He's like, I'm obsessed with bikes. And I was like, man, it was a really cool bike that guy was on. And he was like, and I thought, And he's like, I realized the guy was pointing ahead of me, and I looked up in the A meeting I was looking for was right in front of me. And it was like, and so I immediately jumped out of the car.

And when I jumped out, the guy was gone. And he was like, you know, I don't know what that means to anyone else. And he was like, and you could look at coincidence or whatever. He was like, but that was God speaking to me that day. And he said, and I never looked back and I never questioned God again. He was like, I marched into that meeting, and I've been sober ever since, and I wrote this song. And so I decided that I wanted to cut it, and I thought it was going to be a big deal, but I also understood that the lines were pretty rough, and it wasn't necessarily a quote-unquote good radio song.

But I believe that I put the song out, and just like they said, the song tanked, radio, didn't want to play it, and that the song was dead in the water for about three months, and I hadn't thought about it. and my wife comes downstairs one day and says, hey, how come you didn't tell me about Orange Keychain? And I said, what are you talking about? And she goes, what do you mean? What am I talking about? And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

What's happening? And she said, it's been number one on the video charts for three weeks. And I was like, what? And so I look it up, and sure enough, it was number one on the country music video charts. And it stayed there for five weeks total. And for a musician, that doesn't really change much. for our life being number one video. Definitely doesn't make any more money or anything.

But it was interesting to me because, you know, people don't really put out music videos much anymore. You don't really think about it. It's not a necessity like it used to be. And I dropped about $5 grand on that video, and just because I thought I was supposed to. And then to see how the song had been effective and reached a whole new group of people

also made me realize in that moment that, I can concoct all sorts of ways that I think God is trying to use me. But the reality is I don't know what he's using, how he's using, or when he's using it. And so these days, whatever I'll do, I just wake up and go, this is what I feel like God's wanting me to do. This is where I feel like God's wanting me to help. And I do that, realizing that I don't necessarily have to affect the masses. I may just be affecting one person that day.

But if you affect one person, what an amazing gift. What an amazing ability. Like you with your podcast. You seem to get a lot of views and a lot of people watching things at the same time. I'm sure some videos you put out, you're like, man, I thought that was going to hit, and that didn't do hardly anything, you know. Different clips that you put out. We all get sucked into how many likes did I get?

How many streams did I get? How many? And you forget that when you're on a platform like this and you're helping others, you have no idea who God is putting you in front of that day. You know, I had a pastor once tell me, he said, And everyone talks about how great Billy Graham was. But no one talks about the guy that introduced Billy Graham to Jesus. And I was like, wow, you never know who you're affecting and how much that person's going

to mean to society and what they're going to do. And so with that song, it also registered with me because I think drug addicts and alcoholics are like that way. I think churches on the whole tend to push a lot of us away. There's a lot of people that come at us with a very holier-than-thau attitude. And, you know, I don't prescribe to that way of thinking. I think that the Bible is very specific about Jesus walking with the sinners and loving them and showing them a new life.

So whether you believe in Jesus or not, if you look at the teachings of Jesus, they were pretty dope. They're pretty spot on the way that we should treat people. And so that's where that song was just being able to put Jeff's testimony out there as well. as to let people know like, hey, there's all sorts of ways that we find God. There's all sorts of ways that we find our peace and move on with life. Yeah, beautiful, man. I always love hearing the stories to the music. You hear music sometimes, maybe three minutes, four minutes, and it hits, and then you're just like, man, what's the story behind this, you know? And I'm anyway able to

connect so much more with the music, with the story behind it when you understand a little bit more of what it's all about. So thanks for sharing that. And Jared, before we sign off here, if somebody's struggling on their list into this episode, they've made it here to the end, I mean, what would you mention to them to help them out? You know, for me, I think that the big change in every time that I stopped drinking was just the fact that I didn't want the life that I currently had. The reason that you're drinking, the reason that you're using, is because you want an escape from the life that you currently have. Drugs and alcohol only make feel like we've escaped. You can't escape. You can create a whole other life. You don't have to be

with the person you're with. You don't have to be the job that you're in. I'm not going to say it's going to be easy, but you can't accomplish it at all while you're still high. When you're struggling with not being happy in your position in life, you can't put a stumbling block in your way. You have to surround yourself with people that are motivated and moving in the direction. You want to move and you got to work hard. But the biggest and easiest way for me to not drink was to be dedicated to creating a better life for myself. And once again, I think that once you start doing it, you can't not talk about it. It's just impossible. This interview is the first time that I've been in public talking about this since I quit drinking again. And I think it

took me this long because I had to feel like that it was going to stick before I went public with this again. And I do feel like that it will stick this time. I don't think I would have ever told you before that I didn't think I'd ever drink again. Where I'm at now, I feel like that I'll probably never drink again because I like the life that I get to create without alcohol far better than the one that I create with alcohol. And so once again, if you're struggling with remember that you're struggling because you don't like the position you're in or you don't like who you are and you're never going to be able to get better while you're using a crutch because that's all it is alcohol drugs is a crutch it's a band-aid you know and it falls off

it wears out and but that human being that you become the good parts of what you like about yourself when you get drunk or you get high that is inside you that freedom that we feel walking into a room of people after I've had a few shots, that human being is inside me, and all I have to do is figure out what unleashes that, what gives me that confidence. And for me, helping others is what gives me that confidence. If I've just helped someone not walking around, I'm going to feel like I'm the biggest thing in that room. Because you know what you're doing, and you know that 99% of those people standing in that room, they didn't just affect someone's life.

They didn't just help someone. They didn't just change an old lady's tire. They didn't just give someone advice about anything. They just showed up. And so when I measure that, when you feel good about who you are, it and all around matters how much success someone else has had. It doesn't matter how much money they have. It doesn't matter anything.

Because I wake up every day knowing that my wife and my children think that I'm the greatest thing ever. And no one can take that away. from me. Yeah, beautiful. I love that. And the whole thing, too, I mean, I'm hearing from there as a purpose, right? When we get into sobriety, it gives us that purpose that maybe we've been searching for the whole time and we've been searching for it, you know, a lot of the wrong places. And then when we get that purpose, it changes the game. Thank you, Jared, so much, man, for jumping on here and sharing with us. Dude, thanks for having me. Well, there it is, everyone, another incredible episode here on the podcast. Thank you,

Jared so much. I'll drop Jared's Instagram handle down on the show. notes below. If you have not left a review yet for the podcast, jump over to Apple or Spotify and do that. It would be incredible. Thank you, everybody, for all the kind messages. As always, and I'll see you on the next one.