Will's life has completely changed since getting sober and his liver transplant : Update.
00:00Welcome back to another episode of the show, everyone.On this episode, I connect with Will.Tell you a little bit of the story of how I met Will.He sent me a message over on Instagram or email, one of the two.And then we ended up connecting on Instagram, and he had some videos and some pictures.He's like, I want to show you this stuff, really paint the full picture of how my life was and everything like daddy sent over these pictures.And I was like, wow, man.it really hit me.
00:33It really did because he was alive,but just seeing that,I'm no medical expert or professional,but I just knew what I was seeingthat he was not headed in a good directionwhen he was in that place in his life.And we got into it in the episodeand found out a lot more about what it kind of ended him up there.
00:55And when we first connected,he had made a ton of progress.And he was doing, you know,really well in his life and then I think even like he's going to share here. In this follow-up,there can be these, I call them kind of lulls, kind of like comfortable with our new life of notdrinking and in sobriety. And for whatever reason, I'm guilty of this as well. And this is one of thetimes when my life went downhill really fast, is I had convinced myself that I didn't need to go tothe support groups anymore. I didn't need to see my psychiatrist anymore. I didn't need to talk about
01:30this journey that I was on anymore.And then I found myself in a really difficult spot about four months later.And Will didn't take it to that level, but did share about the lack of, you know,maybe plugging into this whole sobriety thing can put us back on shaky ground.Which is really interesting because in a lot of other journeys, but I feel like they're veryrelatable too.I mean, if you're going to the gym and you're eating well, and then you all of a suddenstop going to the gym and stop eating well, you're probably going to lose your
02:00your progress, or some of it at least, depends how long you carry on in the other direction.You could lose all of it.But yeah, there's something strange that happens, that we convince ourselves that we're cured,that we got to figure it out, that we don't need to plug it anymore.It's kind of like that bitter sweetness, maybe of doing the work that I do, and I shared thiswith the sober motivation community, this idea of this work really being bittersweet.I mean, there's incredible opportunities and, you know, we have a lot of fun.I have a lot of fun doing it.
02:33But it's really cool how it plays out.But also, maybe not cool, you know, for selfish reasons.But people get into this, right?They join the community or I work with them one on one.And it's not everybody's story, but a lot of them, they start to do really well.and maybe six months or a year later,a lot of cool opportunities are coming their way.Maybe new jobs, new relationships,
03:01volunteer opportunities,different things they like to plug into.Maybe they're going for different classes or to the gym or all kinds of thingsstart happening for people.When that happens, though,the bitter part of it, I guess, is they don't go to as many meetings.They might not need that one-on-one intense support anymore.They might have transferred that over to maybe their community or new friendships or new relationships that they have.
03:29And after a while, you'll find yourselves going two different directions, which is okay.Obviously, people get into this to do better to improve their life.But I think it's always something we need to be mindful of is that are we staying grounded and continuing to plug in what worked for us?because I've seen so many people after a year, two year, three years, or five yearsthat might go back to what doesn't work anymore, which is drinking.They might go back to it because they've got themselves so far away from their realitythat you don't have any speed bumps in between you and the next drink,or maybe you have less than what would be helpful.
04:11So I'm glad that Will brought this up, but it was great connecting back with Will.Now that summer's over, we've got a lot of cool podcast people coming on, some really great stories coming up that will be recording here shortly.Summer's tough for any of the parents out there with young kids or even kids in general, I guess.It's really tough.There's a lot of moving parts and all this cool stuff going on.But it's, I made an intention this summer to really lean into my kids, my family, everything like that, probably more than I have done for the last.Five years when I first started all of this, the first two years, I feel like this is all I did.Which is so interesting because nobody was listening then.
04:53Except for, you know, maybe my family was supporting me and thought it was a great idea.Many times I didn't even think it was a great idea.But I stuck with it.I don't know.Their little belief in me was like, okay, maybe we'll just keep going.We'll also got a little bit emotional in this episode.and I won't give it all away.I won't do that.
05:17But, you know, there is that element, too, of doing this podcast and having people sharetheir raw, they're real, their vulnerable stories.You know, you carry that with you.I'm very sensitive to that type of stuff to carry things with me, to carry people's journeyswith me, to carry their pain with me.So it's also something that I've had to learn throughout doing this andthroughout working with people on the sober journey because the reality is this.It's not going to work out for everybody.
05:49The odds are big time, big time against us, especially the first time we try.Not to discourage anybody, obviously, because with more and more times you get back up,you'll learn.You'll learn the tools.It's like riding a bike.I don't know, maybe people do get it their first time, but I know I sure as heck didn't.I know my oldest daughter didn't.And you just have to keep going.
06:14And then before you know it, there you go.You're riding the bike.So for anybody out there who's going through it right now, you're thinking about it.You're thinking, hey, what's this whole life without alcohol?This whole life of sobriety, even like, I can only really speak from my experience.I mean, I have worked with hundreds of people over the years.and the vast majority of people say that their life changes in ways that they never even thoughtpossible. And I think that kind of goes to the credit of alcohol as it puts us in a box.
06:52It makes us feel small. It limits our ability to be uncomfortable, to stretch our nervous system,to take risks, to try new things. It keeps us literally in a box of a routine in a way to connect,and a way to socialize and just limits the opportunities that come our way.And when you remove that, the sky's the limit.It really is.And I shared a little bit in this episode too that, you know, I'm not living, I don't know,maybe not the greatest life of all time.I don't, you know, live in a mansion or anything crazy like that.
07:29You know, we do the best we can.My wife and I to provide for the kids.And this is what I do full time and this is what I love to do.and there's ups and downs with that.It can be a challenge at timesand at other times it's smooth sailing,just like anything else out there.But I never in a million years imagined
07:47that I would be right where I am today.I never could have ever imagined it.I would have thought I would have better chanceswinning a powerball lotterythan for me to ever live this life,a peaceful one, one of integrity,one of honesty,one of love, one of empathy, one of doing what's right, one of being willing to learn new lessons,
08:16sometimes hard ones, sometimes over and over again.But just one in which I show up every day and am committed to doing the best job I can.And is it always pretty?No, far from it.Being a father, far from it.But no matter what, I wake up the next day.I show up again and I do my best.And I could never do that on a consistent basis if I still had alcohol in my life.
08:46Never could have.So if you're in the thick of it right now and you're considering getting sober or you're strugglingthroughout the process, I know I say this all the time.I say it all the time because it's what I've seen work the best.get plugged in with some other people that are on this journey,that are on this quest,that they're wanting to leave alcohol behindto improve so many different areas of their life.
09:16Ask them how they did it.Find out what they do in the morning.How do they get ready for the day?How do they end their day?How do they approach situations?Get yourself connected to other peoplebecause this journey is a lot less about not drinkingthan it is all the other stuff.
09:34all the other stuff is what's going to keep you on this path.The not drinking part decision,I don't want to oversimplify it,but it can be made in a second or two.And you might have to make it over and over again.And that's okay.That's part of the journey too.But all the other stuff is the things that you need support
09:58and that need your attention.And that's going to help you stay on this journeyfor many, many moons to come.Now let's hear from Will on this update episode.Thanks again for hanging out.You've come a long way, Will.I've come a long way, brother.I mean, this has been, Brad, since I jumped on your show, ma'am,
10:18there has been so much growth.And I don't mean that in a corny way.I don't mean that in like a superficial wayor like a pat myself on the back, man.I'm telling you from the day I went on your show to today,right, when I started my own podcast.and I told my journey and I told like my story to the world.Like there has been so much growth and so much has happened in that last,
10:38in this basically a full year now.I think I did your show, uh,your show, uh, July of last year.So it's almost been one full year,which is pretty,pretty rad.You know what I mean?It's pretty rad,
10:51that went quick,man.Yeah.Yeah.So if for people who don't know like my story,there's a little clip note.So from age 14 to,35, I had a drinking problem, severe drinking problem. I was a teacher. I still am a teacher,
11:08but right now applying for another teaching jobs, but I still am a teacher. And from 14 to like35, man, I just drank, drink, drink, drink. And then the last three years from 32 to like 35, 36,like right when I got really, really sick, I was, I was drinking myself to death. That's like,that was my goal. I was miserable. I was insecure. I hated me.my life. I didn't know how good life was. And then I drank myself to death, which then subsequentlyhad a liver transplant. The liver transplant went well. But then in rehab, my stomach burst. I had tolose half my colon and my gallbladder. And then they had to put an elyostomy surgery on. So I hadthat for six months. They had to reverse that surgery. Then my kidneys weren't working that whole time
11:57up during that process. So I also was on dialysis. So I was waiting for a kidney transplant.as well and then they reversed a leostomy surgery and then i had the kidney transplant so and that was backin march 15th of 2004 so that was last year so lots of growth brother lots of uh ups lots of uhups lots of downs but more ups way more ups this year than than ever ever in my life prior yeahyeah well thanks for sharing that dude and i mean it was great to connect i rememberfirst too when when you sent me the videos and how things were youknow how you looked and just talking about what was sort of your mindset, what were your thoughtswhen that was going on. You know what I mean? I think people see that, Will, like, from the
12:42outside, right? Not understanding this, not somebody who's done a bunch of podcasts, but somebodyseeing that. They see, how could it, I think they would wonder anyway, and I've heard peoplekind of mention it to, how could you let it get to where it got? You know what I mean? Like,I think people from the outside, you ever been asked something like that? What are your thoughts?Well, it's, I ask myself that all the time, Brad. Like, I'm like,How on earth, like now that I've had this full year of just, well, it's been two years I've been sober,but this last year in particular has been so eye-opening because like I ask myself that questionall the time. And it's really uncomfortable and it's filled with a lot of regret and remorse.
13:16And like I can't believe I wasted the prime of my life wasting away. I was wasting away,you know? So it's a lot of looking back with regret, unfortunately. But, you know, you learn morefrom failures in your life than you do from successes, right? That's the old, the old saying. Soin, especially when it comes to addiction or like alcoholism, like that process of almost dying,like I put all my, my, all the stuff like from the labs, the, the, the emergency surgery,the losing the colon, the elyostomy surgeries, the dialysis, the kidney transplant, the livertransper, all of it, man. Like I put all of that into AI just to see like what, what it wouldmake of it and it said given everything you were in and you were immune suppressed at the time
14:02that you had the big colon burst um they it was a five to 10 percent chance of of surviving thatand coincidentally i just had like a one year checkup for my liver doctor because i have to get anothersurgery believe it or not because my the scars see the scars right there they're getting so bigthat like now my um there's like a like little hernia is coming out so now have to go under theknife again and then called a TAR surgery.I have to take my lower upper abdomen muscles and like stretch it across my body.So like I just stopped getting these giant hernias where my giant incision lines arebecause I was opened so many times, man.
14:37Yeah.Crazy.Crazy.So I was talking to the doctor and he's like, man, I would say like 5% chance.Like that's how much we were looking at.You know, that's what we thought you had like a 5% to 10% 8% chance.Like that's like what we were thinking.Wow.
14:53And that really kind of put things into perspective again.Like, you know how there's the honeymoon phase after you, you know, gets over.You have like that like six months of just like pure like everything's new.Everything's exciting.Like I love my family and all those wonderful things.But it does kind of like, you know, if you stay up with your sobriety, it usually doesn't waver that much.But when you don't, the spark kind of, you know, diminishes.But that wake up call with the AI thing and going to actually see the surgeon who did all my procedures and tell me it was actually lower than like.
15:2310% 15% chance, it really kind of like shook me to the level of how it originally did like a yearago. And now I'm back, back on board, like doing every single thing, you know, practicing gratitude,getting sunlight, exercise and eating right, drinking tons of water, like all those things I was doingbefore. And I was doing those things up until this point. But it really kind of refocused it for me.You know what I mean? And now I'm like full tilt again, like back into the podcast.So it's just like a lot of different moving parts. But there's so much.love. There's so much excitement in life. Again, there's so much possibilities. Like,who knows what will come from all this hard work that I'm putting into the podcast, to my
16:04teaching, to the mentoring. It's like everything, man. It's just like an exciting time. You know,I'm finally excited about life. And it's like, it's like hopeful. I'm hopeful. And that's,that was, it took a long time to get there, man. And that was gone. Like you get the hope back inyour life. Interesting, you bring that up too. I mean, it would be a call to the honeymoon.some people call it the pink cloud. Yeah, I heard that.And when you talk with people in that stage too, right, because I've seen it,it play out many different ways, but everything will be good.And then they stop all of the stuff they're doing for their recovery, their sobriety,
16:39like you mentioned, right?They stop doing it right. Because you hear it a lot too.I feel like I kind of got to figure it out.Of course, I haven't had a drink in six months.So, of course, like, I'm good to go.But you noticed, you know, a year and, you know,And after that time, like, hey, maybe I need to really double down on some of this stuff andkeep it going.
16:59Yeah, because if you lose any footing with your sobriety, like, that's why it's so importantto have a practice, you know, a daily practice.I'm like, okay, this is what is going to maintain my sobriety, waking up, practicinggratitude.This is a cool little trick that I learned.Someone taught me a couple months ago.It's like, it's really important.It's like first thing in the morning, 30 minutes.
17:19It's like a 30, 30, 30 trick.It's like 30 grams of protein.If you can get outside and get some like your heart rate up, the sunlight, that's another good thing.30 minutes of that, even just walking and 30 ounces of water, if you can get that down as well.And you'll just feel like incredible, man.Like your day is set up like in a way where you're starting yourself in the right foot and you have like an intention of the day.Like, okay, so today I'm getting up, I need to do this, this and this.And if I have any downtime, I really need to make sure that that downtime is filled with something productive, right?
17:49Because I knew with me, man, when I was drinking the most amount, it was a lack of conviction when it came to what are my beliefs.What are the things that I believe in?Like, what are my values, right?And that's like a huge part of sobriety, which I did not understand was I didn't really have, like I had values that my dad instilled within me.But I wasn't practicing them.And I would say them, but I would feel like I wasn't acting as if I can your, my moat, my actions and my words were not, you know, they weren't in line with one another.There was no coherence there.So I felt that that's something that's work you got to do, right?
18:23And that's something that I really put a strong emphasis on when people are getting sober.It's just make sure you have some kind of thing, a thing that holds you accountable in thatkeeps you balanced.Like your life needs to be balanced out.If it's lacking too much in this area and it's too much in this area and it's not on alevel playing field, then like this is going to suffer and this is going to probablyeventually suffer.So it's like everything needs to be kind of like on an even playing field.
18:48it comes to your overall mental health, physical health, you know, all that great stuff.Yeah. So looking at some of those foundational pieces too.Foundational pieces, man. That's perfectly put. Yeah.And matching up, matching up with what we say with what we do and how we show up and how we act.You said something in there and I don't even know if you meant to really kind of say it.But it was act as if, man.That was a big thing at this rehab I used to work at that we would share.lot because you have people come in and like maybe they didn't have the know how or the ability
19:24to do certain things but we would just say act as if like act as if you're an honest person likejust don't be dishonest with people and then maybe you'll develop that skill um with time right to be likehey that's one of the things that's important to me in my life looking back the fake it to you makeit thing man is as applicable in every aspect of your life right like if you want to be that person rightemulate what their actions are.Like, what do they, how do they practice?Like, what do they do every day?That's different than what I'm doing every day.
19:52And with addiction, yeah, like, act as if you are the sober guy that you can just go outinto a concert and just, you know, blindly go up to anyone and have a casual conversationwithout, like, the needing the alcohol and the holding, like, the beer kid next to your chest,like I used to always do.I do still do that, but I take, like, something on alcoholic and I'll still walk around,like a party or whatever and just do that because it's comfortable, you know?But yeah, it's like, just act as if you.are that person already and then eventually your life will start to kind of like manifest
20:19its way towards that reality you know it's really interesting if you really are intentional aboutbecoming that version of yourself and doing those steps like faking it until you make it so it worksand everything yeah man i love the i love it the the fake it till you make it i yeah i share on the ishared on the podcast i think i think probably years ago but um the story of when that came into mylife, man. So it's an interesting thing that's always stuck with me. You know, some people,they don't like that, though, man. They say, oh, well, but I think it's, it's misunderstood,you know? It's not disingenuous, because I know what you're saying. Like, I totally get that,like, oh, fake it sounds, you know, counterproductive. It sounds like a disingenuous sounds,
21:00you know, superficial, you know, woozy. But it's not. It's like you're setting yourself up with theintention of being that person eventually. So you have to walk the walk. You kind of have to,like, you know, put yourself in situations that that person that you're trying to emulate would be in,you know, like not going out to those parties, not going home in that same direction that youwould normally go and then drive by that same liquor store or stuff like that. Those littleroutines in your life that you need to kind of, you know, take like a left turn instead of a right,you know, it's a simple thing, but it's really hard. It's also very difficult to get out of oldhabits, you know? Like the thing about when you're trying out sobriety, it's hard work. You know,
21:40really is hard work. You know, you're constantly developing yourself, you're working on yourself,you're changing your environment, you're changing everything. And if they could just see, and we weretalking about this a little bit off air, if they could just see the health benefits, the physicalbenefits, the relationship mending benefits, like all these wonderful things that will justfall into your life eventually if you maintain the straight and arrow and you work on yourselfin other ways in your life, not just the sobriety thing, butother ways as well, but it just makes it easier when you're sober to reach those goals,to make them possibilities, you know?
22:17Yeah, well, I mean, being sober definitely, I think, creates clarity, you know, to life.Even that fake until you make a thing.I don't know if it's Jim Carrey, but there was one big actor out there that wrote themselvesa million dollar check and supposedly put it in their wallet.Was it Jim Carrey or no?Yeah, Jim Carrey said, yeah, I've actually heard that interview before.It was like Eastern Chura, but there is something to say.about like when you act as if, um, and you have the intentions, like, it's easier to believe
22:47in yourself when you already kind of are believing it. You know, it's like this, this connection of thewhat else is out there, but what's inside of me. If I can feel it here in like my heart center,my heart, my soul center, if I can feel like I am that person like applying to grad school,going back to graduate school, um, starting my little mentoring program, my podcast, all that's,like, I did not ever expect to do any.of that and I never would have had the willpower or the drive.That would make this reality, you know, make this become a reality unless I was sober.So there's so much to think with the right.
23:23There's just every part of my life is now improved because of I'm sober.Yeah.It's very, very.It's amazing when you think, but it.Oh, I mean, yeah, I'm with you on that all day.Like, I, yeah, my life would look completely different.I mean, to the truth is, like, kind of worth thinking.got for you. The reality is, like, I probably wouldn't still be alive if I didn't make a turn,
23:47you know? I don't know. I'm thinking. Yeah. And I'm thinking back to when, okay, when all thishappened, right, and you go in for this, this transplant and you have all these procedures andeverything like that, your thoughts on all of this wasn't, because I think there's a differencebetween not drinking and then doing the work and recovery. What were your thoughts initially? Like,okay obviously I've had all this stuff happen to me so not drinking is off the table but did youhave any insight to what else would you'd want to be doing or be interested in or that hey I mighthave to work at this a little bit or was it just like quit drinking what were your thoughtswhat you mean like so did that was I aware that if I just stopped drinking life would improve
24:28like going into it where you're like okay I just need to quit drinking or were you were you awareof like yeah I might have to do other work my gratitude list my 30and 30 and work on all these other areas of my life? Or is just not drinking going to be a solutionfor me to... I was smart enough to realize that, well, I did it. So I did 125 days sober, and thenI woke up on 126, and I was like, my life is the fucking same. Like, nothing has changed. And it wasbecause I was, I was sober. I mean, I was abstinent from alcohol, right? They call it a dry drunk.I was a dry drunk. I was putting my fist in the ground. I was upset that I had to deal with this.I know it sounds so selfish. I'm being completely honest and genuine with this because I feel like a lot of people who are going through this difficult journey of sobriety or they're maybe thinking about it.
25:22It's really, it's really hard. So I was a dry drunk. I really was fighting it. I didn't have the support system.I wasn't willing to admit that I was powerless over alcohol. And then that final moment when I finally did succumb to to to the.that moment in front of my father who was a big drinker himself.And we both had like a long, long cry.We're two tough Boston guys drinking our whole lives.And all of the next thing I know we're we're weeping in each other's arm.You know, it's just tough old Irish Catholic guy, right, from Boston.So it's like, there's so much, there's so much, there's so much beauty.
25:55There's just so much beauty.I don't know, like, I don't know where I was going with that.But like, there's so much beauty.There's so much beauty now.And there was so much, there's so much hope in, and impossibility.whereas in the past, man, there just wasn't.I just couldn't see that way out.And a lot of that had to do with the alcohol.
26:12It was just compounding on top of each other.Like there's so much compounding that it's a depressant.So it just compounds.It makes you, you know, just feel the irritability, the anxiety, the physical cravings,the dry heaving in the morning, the constant worrying, the financial hardship becauseyou know, you're just always in your own way.That's how I felt.I was just always in my own way.
26:33I couldn't get out of my own way.Because I just didn't think that there was a possibility of living a life without alcohol in my life.And so many people think that way.But there is, man.Like, I've been doing it now for a long time.And not only does it get better, it gets so much more meaningful.Like, I was at a golf tournament.Yeah.
26:50It was, this is last weekend.So it was my father's golf tournament.Unfortunately, he passed away in 2004.So not too long ago, but I'm missing dearly.And I'm at this tournament.And it was a golf tournament.It was a drinking tournament that had golf, right?And I was like, God, I cannot believe I'm going back to this thing.
27:07This is going to be a nightmare.It's going to be really, really difficult.It was not this year.Like, I went and I was like at a bar just talking to random people, just walking around,you know, chat all around me, man.Like, there was no way that I could have done that a year ago.But this year with all the work and all the progress I've made, it wasn't, it really wasn'tthat difficult.
27:27It was actually kind of fun to be in control of my decisions and not be like, oh, God,if someone puts a drink down, they take a, you know, they don't look at me like really quick.I could probably get away with it, you know, which those thoughts do pop into your head still,well, my head at least.But it's just there's too much going right in my life and I've sacrificed too much to,to ever, you know, to ever really put myself in a situation like that to ever decidedly say,okay, I'm going to take this drink right now and just throw it all away, right?It's just not worth it now.
28:03But it's still there.Unfortunately, it's always going to be there.But that's why it's so important to have friends like you,like a practice, a group,anything that maintains my sobriety.And that's why I love my channel so muchbecause it's like it helps me stay sober that day.Like every time I have an episode or I do one like you right now,
28:21it just maintains my sobriety and just keeps me on a pace that I want to be on.Yeah, keeps us connected.I mean, that's a big thing, right?Your story and so many stories is,things start out. I think I'm vaguely like digging into our episode that I have in memory here,but it started out as a social thing, right? You and the buds. Same thing for me, man. And then it turnsinto this ice, this thing of isolation, right, where the shame builds and then we just want to getinto it the way we want to get into it. So on the opposite side of things, I mean, getting connected
28:52on this journey, having conversations. I think open, honest and transparent conversations and like kindof what you were saying before too of like you feel all those.things about kind of talking about that I think people here understand like none of us I mean wewanted to you know make all this work right why can't I drink they get to drink why can'tright it's like why can't I if I can't I but the way you got to reframe that is like oh I don't have toanymore oh I don't have to do that anymore like I've outgrown it it's no longer serving me I knowthat you hear that all the time no it doesn't serve you leave it let it be but that is trueman if it doesn't serve is it making your life better in any way is
29:31drinking, making your life better anyway? Like, honestly, ask friends, family and be like,you know, is my drinking, has it like affected anyone like negatively in any way whatsoever? AndI'm willing to bet that it has in some way or another, whether that be your health, whetherthat be relationships, whether that be whatever in your life, you know, is it affecting anythingnegatively? And if it is, then maybe it's time to, maybe it's time to reevaluate how muchspace alcohol is having in your life or whatever drug you're on. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Yeah,of course and um i'm even thinking back further in your journey too right because it's always it'sreally interesting to me man when things kind of switch right when it's maybe just going out with the
30:10pals when there's not a ton of consequences involved with drinking when does that switch takeplace and were there any indicators yeah i mean oh god yes yes they were indicators my entire lifefrom the first second i had alcohol i knew that there was going to be an issue um i liked i liked it toomuch. I just loved it. I loved how it made me feel. I loved that. It made it made me seem moreif I clued into the conversations funnier, wittier. I don't know. I don't think any of thatwas actually true. I think it was my personality was just, you know, my prefrontal cortex,like they lowered you my inhibitions. Next thing you know, I'm just becoming who I am naturally.Alcohol, I guess you can say enhances it, but it actually doesn't. It actually, everything that
30:53you have inside of you is right there. It's just confidence comes within, within.and alcohol does kind of make that confidence come out in a little bit, but it's the confidenceis always in you.It's a matter of doing the work and doing the shadow work they call it.Like, where you practice like, okay, I'm going up to a person.I'm going to start a conversation.Like, you know, those like little, those little games that we play to kind of recalibrateourselves into society after drinking for 36 years and myself, like drinking myself to death,
31:23like almost like suicide.That's kind of what I was going for.it's hard to navigate those waters when you come out of it.But man, it's so powerful.It's so meaningful.Like I get so much substance now to most of them, like if I'm going for that kind of thing.There's so much growth there.There's just so many things that you can really just be proud of.
31:43And like I wasn't proud of anything for like 10 straight years.And just in this past year, I feel like I can safely say that I'm a more balanced,appreciative guy who has a lot of love to give and a lot of self-love to give back to myself.There's a lot of moving parts to it, but sobriety just is really kind of, you know, it really islike the foundation to who I am now these days.You know, it's without that, everything crumbles.You know, it's the foundation.That's beautiful, man.
32:16How are things with your wife?Amazing.Amazing.Yeah.I mean, we just got back from vacation and it was just a blast.It was the first vacation we had since everything.You know, everything I went through.And she went through with me because she was very much a part of every single up and down of the entire transplant process and the drinking and everything.
32:38So she has been, she's right there.She's so thrilled.She has a saying now.She's like, that's old will.So like everything up until 2020, three, everything prior to that was like a lower version of me.That's like how she looks at it.She's like, you know, I kind of, she's like, I was, how much are you going to get emotional thinking about this now?Because it actually just came up in my mind.
33:03She said, I waited for the Sunday morning will every time.That's how she put it to me.She's like, I couldn't wait for a Sunday morning will.And all the other days when we would just, I would just wait for it, you know?And now I have you Sunday morning will all the time.And, you know, that's touching.Was there something she was referring to?with Sundays? Sunday morning, so I wouldn't, typically when I was with her, like on the weekends,
33:28which is really strange, but I would, you know, I wasn't with her during most of the week.I would be drinking the entire time. So, I mean, I was with her at night and stuff, but that would like,you know, I was like really sneaky about my drinking. So, you know, I'd be a mess. We'd fight andeverything. But on Sunday mornings for some reason or another, I just, you know, I wouldn't drinkbecause I really couldn't. But there was more to that, you know, I would wake up next door andand then we wouldn't fight and I wouldn't drink and then we would have a beautiful day together.It would just be like a Sunday morning, you know, just doing whatever kind of thing.And then unfortunately I would go right back into the monster that I was, you know, on Sunday night,
34:03probably. But it's hard to look back at those, those memories, you know, and think of likehow many of these memories were clouded with, you know, not serenity with alcohol.And it really takes those core memories and unfortunately puts a little black stuff.on them, but now we're getting to create all these new memories.And there's so much, there's so many blessings that are now bestowed upon us that I could not see back in drinking days.So nothing but, you know, there's still challenges.Every day is going to, you know, there's still going to be challenges, but with my strength, with my support from her,with my strength and my sobriety of my networking group, like everything like that, it's a much more, you know,
34:50much more meaningful, maintainable journey that I'm on now.Yeah.Yeah.I feel like you, I'm taking from a lot of the stuff you're sharing too, that the answer tothis is probably yes.But I'll ask it anyway.Do you feel like you see life a lot different these days than you ever did before?Brad.
35:10I'm glad you asked.And yes.The answer to that question is yes.A thousand times yes.It's not that I see the world differently.it's just I wake up and I feel blessed to be here. I wake up and I'm like grateful that I get toexperience another day. When I had that conversation with my surgeon last week and he said that it wasactually lower than 15, 10% chance of surviving, it really kind of switched gears for me again.
35:39And now it's when you're using in your selfish all the time. That's like how it felt for me.It was as always about me. Like I need my alcohol. I want what I want. Don't bug me.like I'm struggling at work, but I don't want help.Like I want, I don't want any support.It's almost like you're basically like just making your life worse on every level of your life,even though you know this is the obstacle and you know you need to eliminate it.But you don't want the help.You don't want the support.
36:04You don't want anyone to interfere with you in that drug because that drug just keeps youcomfortable with the uncomfortability.And that's why, oh, this is what I wanted to get back to is like when you're getting sober or you're trying to get sober,and you're trying to break out of those patterns.Like,that's why it's so difficult for people to break out is because when you grow,when you change,when you evolve as a person,
36:29you have to go through those challenging moments of uncomfortabilityuntil you become that person,right?That's why people practice things.Why people will get,you know,practice their craft,whatever their skill is,
36:40they have to do the hard work to eventually get the payoffs, right?So it's not so much like chasing the dope mean,right?It's more of like,what is the process of the chase? Do you enjoy the process of the chase of the dopamine? So like if youhave goals and you're getting that don't mean hit, you know, what the alcohol is giving you thedopamine hit? You know, what are you doing now with your life that is, you know, moving you forwardinstead of backwards? Yeah, beautiful, man. Well, um, well, um, well, dude, great work, man. Anything,
37:09anything before we wrap up, man? And I'm just so happy to see how well you're doing with everything.Oh, thank you, Brad. Well, oh, uh, how are you doing, man? Like, I feel like you, you,talking, you talk and you talk and you ask and you ask. But like the people are curious, man,like, how are you doing these days, brother? How long do you have, Will? I mean, overall, man,I'm doing well, you know, I'm doing well. I think with anything else, you wonder if you're onthe right track at times, right? I'm just be honest with all of this stuff and all the effort,energy and the sobriety and so many years, right? I'm like, you know what? I talk about not drinkingalcohol all week. I love it. I wake up every day. I get to work with people. Another part of it that
37:47lot of people I think don't share about, especially on social media, you see a lot of coachesand a lot of people. And it's like everybody's winning. Everybody's winning. And, you know,it's not the reality out there for, for everybody. Like, there's a lot of people that arelearning. You know, I don't really look at it as a pass or fail or anything like that. I look at itas we're either getting it or we're learning, you know. So there's a lot of people that I work withthat are in that cycle. And I'm super proud of them for keep showing up, you know, becausethat's something I struggled with. So that, that's.good. Yeah, I mean, overall, like, things are good, man. It's so weird, right? In life, you,
38:23you know, eight years ago, I had kind of set a goal of like, this is where I wanted to be.If I get there, I'll be fulfilled. I'll be happy. I'll be, you know, all of these things, right?And I definitely achieved that last year, everything I had set out to kind of do. And there was stillsort of, you know, maybe this missing link, right? And that's just kind of the way I'm wired,man. There's always going to be something more. I'm always going to try to push it a little bit.But this year, I've really been more intentional of resting.And I don't mean like sleeping.I mean like rest, not work all the time and, you know, do a gazillion podcast all the time,
38:57do the best I can with things.But yeah, I mean, having three kids, you know, my kids are growing up.Going back to the balance thing, right?Like if you don't have balance, like you need to shut it off.Like you need to have some, your mental health needs it, right?If you're just constantly downloading other people's stories of like, oh my gosh,That's so sad.I feel so, like, there's so much that you, I mean, you're an empathetic guy, Brad.
39:21I was like one of the first things.That's what makes your show so successful.Like, you're just a very easy to talk to empathetic person who understands it.So like, like, and that's what's so beautiful about your channel.That's so beautiful about you, man.Like, there's so much to you.But yeah, I'm saying, like, the balance part, it's so important to not have too much of like, okay, I'm eating too much this.It's like, you just need balance, whether it be friends, relationships.
39:46whether that be food you're eating, whether it'll be the work you're doing.It's like if you don't have balance and you don't have that time off, like the weekend,spending that weekend, that core family time, I'm jealous of that, man.I really want to have children now.Not just because you said that.This has been a very, this is more thought up than just right now on a podcast.No, this is my wife and I've been talking about it, but I can't wait to have that,that's just pure joy of having a family.
40:16Because there's so much, there's so much love there.There's so much, so many blessings that we can have if we just,if we just maintain our sobriety the right way and be the best versions of ourselves.And just try our best whenever we can.Yeah.And yeah, I'm excited for you in that direction, man.It's, you know, one of the parts I love about it most is it gives me the green light to be a kid again.So like the arcades, the laser tag, the fishing, all that stuff, right?
40:41I can kind of be like, oh, yeah, yeah, you guys want to do that.But I just really love it all.It was so interesting.My oldest daughter, I don't know how it came up.Oh, we're listening.My wife's going to this Keith Urban concert.Nice.In one of the songs is Copcar.
40:56I don't know if you're Keith Urban fan.I am a Keith Urban fan.I'm a country music fan.Oh, yeah.Yeah, so beautiful.So Copcar came up.So then my daughter was like,Mom, have you ever been in the back of a cop car?
41:06And then my daughter comes up to me and she's like,after you, I was like, I'll tell you the story someday.I'll tell you your, uh, let's see.You know, 10 years maybe.We'll see if I even want to do it then.but no, I'm sure you will.But it's wild just to reflect back on how, you know, life used to be, man.For me, it was just wild, man.
41:25And then now to be able to make changes and like, I never thought about having a familyand a house, like that stuff, dude, I never, never crossed my mind.And never crossed your mind.Yeah.Even think about.A lot of people say they miss the chaos.I don't.Like, I don't know what that's about.
41:40I've heard a lot of people say like, oh, man, I miss like, I think there's so, I thinkthey miss the version of.the of they were so used to it like they're uncomfortable and uncomfortability thing like theywere so used to the chaos in our life or you were so used to in your life and me I was so used toit too so like I get that but um to miss it I don't think that's like a completely true stateand I think no one really misses that being like feeling like feeling like shit all the time likehonest like I do not miss that I do not feel like a loser all the time you know I think I think forme it was a big distraction like as long as there was chaos and everything going on then
42:15I didn't have to worry about, you know, my own life or what was going on.That's actually a really interesting point.You just said, like, like, the distraction.It was like a distraction.It was like an excuse, like, oh, he's not doing well because look at him.But like the thing about my family is they really didn't know I was drinking in my room all night or my wife had no idea.Like, I was just drinking like to like black out and fall asleep every night.Like that's really sad.
42:41And, but you're right, though.It is, it is like an easy.excuse, I guess, if you wanted to use it.Yeah. Yeah. It's your life, man. It's a very short one. So you might as well enjoy it.And for me, I got a second go at it. So now I'm really going to pay it for it. And that's why, like, I started in my channel. That's why I do this over rent.That's why I'm going back to school to get an MSW. It's like all that stuff is so important because now I have a second chance and I have to give it all back. All that selfishness, all that just, just, just ego driven nonsense.sense is how I think of it.You know, life is bigger than that.
43:17There's so much more to it.Like, there's so many blessings in your life that you are not paying attention to right now.And just to be mindful of that and be aware of them can really go a long way with your overallmental and physical health and overall well-being, I say.Yeah, 110%.Well, thanks, Will, for connected mangrove.Thanks for having me back on.Thanks, everybody out there for watching.
43:40Thanks, everybody.who've ever come on to my channel.I think that's really cool.And I'm so, so grateful.I'm just overly grateful, overly blessed.I can't believe I'm still here.It's just incredible.And thank you for having me back on the show.
43:54Man, it's been a blast.I love catching up with you.Such a great guy.You really are.Same, man.Thank you.Well, there it is.Another incredible episode.
44:03You shout out to Will.Check him out on YouTube.Got his own podcast that he's doing.So proud of him for that after he came on the show.and he did our other buddy, Dan at Hard Knocks Talks.He jumped on his show too and really connected with the audience in so many different ways.So I think that inspired him to throw his hat in there and start his own show.So be sure to check that out.
44:28Thank you, Will.Great to catch up as always.So proud of you, man.And I'll see you on the next one.
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