Soder - 100: The Four Guys with Joe List | Soder Podcast | EP 98

Episode Date: September 23, 2025

Support the sponsors to support the show! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/SODER to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That’s Zocdoc.com/SODER https://www.zocdoc.com/?utm_medium=audiopodcast&utm_campaign=soder Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code SODER at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/SODER #Bruntpod https://bruntworkwear.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=influencer&utm_campaign=SODER F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code SODER15 at theperfectjean.nyc/SODER15 #theperfectjeanpod https://theperfectjean.nyc/SODER15 The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city! Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tour Sep 25 Los Angeles, CA Sep 26 Seattle, WA Sep 27 Portland, OR OCT 3 Tucson, AZ Oct 4 Denver, CO Oct 9 Knoxville, TN OCT 10 Atlanta, GA Oct 11 Louisville, KY Oct 24 Providence, RI OCT 25 Nashville, TN NOV 7 San Antonio, TX NOV 8 Austin, TX NOV 13 Iowa City, IA Nov 14 Minneapolis, MN NOV 15 Madison, WI NOV 21 Kansas City, MO NOV 22 St. Louis, MO DEC 5 Vancouver, BC DEC 6 Eugene, OR DEC 12 Columbus, OH DEC 13 Royal Oak, MI Follow Joe List https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/?hl=en https://punchup.live/joe-list https://www.youtube.com/@JoeListComedy PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  Mike Lavin    @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

This week, it starts, the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. Come on out to a show. Thursday in L.A., Friday in Seattle, Saturday in Portland. I believe that's sold out. Thank you very much, Portland. But Seattle, there's tickets left in L.A., there's tickets left. Dan Soder.com. Then next week, we got Tucson on Friday at the Rialto, October 3rd.

Tickets still available. Paramount in Denver, October 4th, might be sold out. If there are tickets, there are a few left. Again, DanSoter.com. And then the South, we're coming to. get you. Knoxville, Atlanta, Louisville, I said that correctly, Louisville, Knoxville, Tennessee, Atlanta, Georgia, and Louisville, Kentucky are going to be October 9th, 10th, and 11th, Dan Soder.com for tickets. Go to Dan Soter slash tour for all dates, all tickets,

buy the tickets through my website. Don't go to Google. Please don't go to Google. This is how secondhand resellers get you. Just go to Dan Soder.com. And right there on that ticket link, We'll send you there, and we're going to see. These shows are going to be fun as hell. I'm bringing a lot of fun people. Sagalow is going to be on a lot. I'm bringing Matt Ross. A couple surprise openers that are fun that I'm very excited to bring along.

Dan Soder.com slash tour, Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. Oh, also, merch. Might be selling some merch. We're talking about it. It's pretty cool. Might get a hoodie or a T-shirt for you. A high and tight episode. by the way what a funny thing that we've all learned by doing podcasts

is after you talk shit just to clap so you know when to start where you go this is where it starts if you please do not because every I don't think people realize comedian podcasts the warmups the like calisthenics are just us talking shit yeah like someone will breach that and just start being like I'm putting that out no camera guys for podcasts are like the CIA. They hold the darkest secrets. Homeless Pimp has edited shit out that if he wanted to, he can go, I'm going to let some people know how you really feel.

No, well, I mean, like, I wanted to fire Chuck for 15 years, but he's got 17 hours of us just being like, I'd purr if I could or whatever. And you guys just laying around in basketball shorts. You guys just laying around in basketball shorts going like, I mean, I've thought about fucking kids. You're like, no, no, no, the longer bit gives it content. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, this is...

Are we rolling? Can we bleep the R word? I don't want to get demonitized. Grape, we'll just say grape or unalived himself. Yeah, I'm realizing that I just read a news story today that was so wild that I was like, that is the way to go. There was a woman in a elderly care home in Brooklyn who killed another woman by beating her to death with part of her wheelchair.

She was 95 and the woman who was 89 and they got into it. and the woman that was 95 just beat her to death. Wow. And they're just not doing anything. They're just, I swear to God, they're just going like this. I don't know. She's like old crazy. They give her the chair, but she's just plugged into a regular outlet.

Just hold on to this light bulb. We think a massage chair can kill her at this point. They're just going to take her to a, what was that one in the store in the mall? Brookstone? Take her to a Brookstone, and she's like, just jiggle her to death. Brookstone was big when I was a kid. You were running there. They had the thing with the nails that you put your face in.

That was fun. And then you'd stick your tongue out and realize that was a bad idea. Yeah, that was fun. The massage chairs. I can't remember what else. The idea of mall culture, people try to act like it still exists, but it doesn't. You would go to a mall to just maybe see hot girls. Exclusively.

I went to the mall every Friday for like 25 years straight. No money. We were like the Cal Ripkin. We were in there. Every day. An iron horse. They had a little 2000. 130 roll down when we went there.

He's going to show up on this Friday. I mean, you just went to Friendlies, and you went to record town or Saturday matinee, whatever it was, get a couple CDs, Barnes & Noble. Go to a finish line, look at some sports stuff. Yeah, that was fun. Courtney Kelly, who was like my big crush, worked at finish lines. It was like a big deal. And I'd be nervous outside.

When a hot girl that is at your high school worked at a store in the mall, it was like a petting zoo. I need new sneakers. You could visit it. Like going to a zoo for hot women. You'd be like, yeah. But you'd just be like, look at there she is. Oh, watch her.

Oh, she's at the counter. You're like hiding behind a rack of pants. And you're like, oh, look at her. Well, this is, I wish I could fucking redo my stupid, fucking pathetic life. Because I was always nervous. I'd walk by. I'm like, I can't go in there. I went in there two weeks ago.

I can't buy it. If I could just do it over, I'd just be like, hey, what's up? Because you, you know why? Because at that, yeah. And you probably, she probably would have gone. I mean, you're from Massachusetts. So she would have gone, like, what are you talking about? You fucking spit in my mouth, you fucking queer.

Don't even say it. But you know what it is, is when you're that young, when you have those opportunities, you lack the security. You're just so, it means everything. It's like, dude, I, if I had my confidence now, I'd walk into Applebee's off Parker Road and go, hey, Stephanie Holmes. I'm calling you on the phone tomorrow night. I knew a Stephanie Holmes. Yeah. I had a huge crush on Stephanie.

She was a year older than me, so she was a woman. You know what I mean? She was a woman when I was a boy. Wow. And you didn't do it? You didn't pursue? Never got, she even told my friend, and again, this is, Anne Pope told me this. So I got a source, but she was like, I think he's cute and I still didn't go for it.

Yeah, I had no fucking confidence. And I don't know if she actually said that. That might have been Anne making me feel good because I liked her and she didn't like me. Well, I look back at photo, I mean, I told you this before, I look back at photo, like I have photo albums because I was always the camera guy. Yeah. And there's like a photo of this girl, this hot, cute girl who's like a comedy fan. You know, there's like these people that would hang out. And she's like sitting across my lap.

I'm like sitting like this. Yeah. And I'm just like, well, you know, I don't know. She probably just thinks I'm gay. I'm like, she's laying on me. Yeah. And I was like, ah. It didn't start, I didn't start realizing.

I think that's where a lot of guys go, where we lose guys. They don't realize they're not unwanted. You just got to believe in yourself a little bit. Well, Chris Walsh said this to me because I would always be like, Let's get hookers. Let's get some strippers over here. But you're a problem solver. That's why.

Yeah, I just had very low. You have money. They have pussy. They take money for pussy. I didn't even have money. I was like, let's collect it all. Let's all pitch in. More strippers than hookers.

Hookers is a funny word. But Chris Walls said this to me when I was like 25 years old. The great Chris Walsh, a wise man. He was like, Joe, you can get, he was so like earnest. He's like, you can get laid. He's like, you're a funny guy. You're a comedian, a nice guy. and a funny guy.

And I was like, huh? You just need more guys saying that to young men so they don't go full insult. Right. You just got to go, hey, you can get pussy.

Just be decent. Maybe an eye contact. Ask about them. Maybe ask about them. You still don't care for that. They are boring and dumb. Oh, we get it. Listen,

but I, you know, it took me working in radio, like working at KFMA for older women that were like to sit on the speech. Speaker. Yeah, that really is what it took, though. It took older women going like, hey, I'd fuck you. And you go, me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard. Well, I just

last night, Sarah and I were, I was laying in bed and we were having a good laugh, but I'm also ashamed. So, you know, I've reconnected with my ex-girlfriend from Cherry Creek, Cherry Hills. Cherry Creek High. Cherry Hills is the neighborhood, which is right. That's where she lived, where L.A. That was where L.A. lived. If you grew up in Denver, Cherry Hills was where all the famous people live. Well, I mean, there's two stories. I told one on the regs when I showed her a house in Whitman. I was like, you want to see the biggest house you ever saw?

It's very charming. I took her to like shitty used car capital of America. Like, look at this house right here. Can I admit something publicly for the first time of why I disliked your girlfriend so much? Yeah. Wasn't at all her personality. She was very fun. She was like, we'd hang out.

She was great to hang out with. Yeah. I was always mad because when I found out she went to Cherry Creek, I was like, oh, I grew up in Aurora, I went Smoky Hill. And she confirmed that where I grew up was not nice. Yeah, well, that's, oh, yeah, I would never go there. And I was like, well, then fuck you. Well, that's a rude thing to say.

It was, but it was, as matter of fact, we were at the bar. Yeah, that night you met her at Carolines. And she was like, I would never go to that part of, like, Aurora. And I was like, all right, well, fuck you then. Yeah, you hated her. I carried that around. You were like, you got to get rid of this woman. And I was like, this is the love of my life.

I carried that around a lot. And she was nothing but sweet to me after that. Perfectly nice lady. So I just was in Denver where she's from. I did the Comedy Works. Best Club fucking ever. I mean, that room was insane. That room you go, you're faking it.

That's what it felt. I did mothership in Comedy Works back to back. I'm like, I'm Richard Pryor. Build a fucking statue. This is crazy. Comedy Works in Madison is you go like, hey, so do you guys, do you guys think that I just am the best to ever touch a mic?

It's crazy. I mean, Denver Comedy Works is, and then we added a show Sunday, which we should not like five we did five sold out best shows in my life we added a Sunday and you could just feel it just wasn't my people like I came out and they were like they're like woo the other shows they were like oh my god they're on the side of the stage trying to touch you I'm like don't add shows don't add shows um but also doing comedy works and then going I one time I did comedy works and then I did out like Long Island and did like brokerage and I was like oh I'm back to earth yeah yeah

You go do a tough club and you're like, yeah, let me, let me, well, I got soul jolt. That's usually hotter than fucking Haiti.

That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a hell of a room. Stress factory coming up, so that'll be fine. What? Okay.

All right. I went into Allen, sorry. Dude, I saw a big A this morning. I was fucking rocking off a session. So you're in bed with Sarah. Yeah.

So last night. And you're feeling guilt, but you're having a laugh. No, shame, but not even guilt. So Becca, I've reconnected with my ex-girlfriend,

and she lives in Cleveland now. and so her brother, who's a big fan of mine. Who's the one that reconnected you guys, right? No, no, I bumped into her in yoga. Remember in Cleveland? I told you that story, right? Oh, yeah. I walked into a random yoga club.

No one believes me online. Everyone's like, there's fucking no way, this creepy piece of shit. I'm like, wow, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. But yeah, I was in Cleveland, took a yoga class that she was teaching. She lives in yoga. She married a doctor who works at the Cleveland. She lives in yoga. She lives in Cleveland.

And she married a doctor who works there. Oh, yeah. Marry a doctor. And she keeps her pliability? Well, frankly, I make Dr. Money. So she could have... Yeah, but you're gone all the time. No, I'm not home all the time.

He's doing surgery all the time. I'm a stay-at-home dad, maybe. I am with my son more than any father's ever been with their son. Well, also you have a son. So that's also... Yeah, I'm home. The only thing you're not home is when I'm right here. I'm going to shoot back to him.

I like where guys take their current family as models of why they be good in their second family. While you go, see if I ever leave... Cut it out. No, my point is, you know, it's like, you know, I'm, I do okay. No, you're a good dad. So all the way back to, so back to this story. So her mother came to the show and then her neighbors who are like family friend neighbor, those kind of people.

And this is in Denver. In Denver. This is like three days ago. And the neighbor lady walks up after the show, you know, I fucking killed. And she walks up and she's like, the last time I saw you, you were eating a box of craft mac and cheese out of the pot in my back seat with a pbr and i just had this moment of like oh these are like wealthy people i went there to meet my girlfriend's family and i was eating blue box mac and cheese out of a pot with a pbr the last time i saw you was when a motion sensor light went off

on the side of our house and you were digging through our trash it's looking for food it made you sound like a human raccoon i couldn't sleep i'm like what a fucking moron. And then I'm like, my parents had such a disservice to me because they were, they should, I should have brought flowers. Like they had a family dinner that I didn't eat because I was like, no, no, I brought my own dinner. And boiled and cooked macachia. Like just the biggest piece of white trash piece of shit. You did show up demonstrating hobo law. You go, you never come inside. I need someone else's food. You always have to have a belly full of food if you go in a warm place. And it's awful. And I'm like, I'm so ashamed. It's 20 years ago.

and I'm married with a child. Did you laugh at off in the moment? I was like, oh, my God, yeah. I mean, I laughed and I was like, I'm so sorry. She's like, oh, my God, it's hilarious. And it's, now it's funny because, well, now she's married to, like, a lung surgeon, so it's hilarious. But at the time, they must have been like.

We were worried about her. I must have left, and they must have been like, are you fucking kidding me? Call him right now and tell him he can't come back here. I just, her, just picturing her dad sitting on the edge of her bed while she's in bed that night at all with her parents' house. And he goes, what did I do wrong? I mean, she goes, what? Joe's fun he goes was it was it when I missed the recital in eighth grade I think I had holes in

my jeans too you're a wild boy back had a leather jacket yeah I remember the leather jacket we both had leather jackets back then fucking right we did yeah put her fucking bad out that's fist bump jellyfish we were we were we were both a problem you know what I thought about the other day do you remember when we got blackout drunk and we slept at annie's my ex-girlfriend's parents apartment yeah on park avenue on park avenue yeah and then we woke up and just spent the day smoking resin and watching Saved by the Bell. Oh, yeah, I kind of do remember that. And we ordered pizzas?

Yeah, in the house? Yeah, in the apartment. It had like books everywhere, right? It was like a real place. Did we smoke in the house? Yeah, in her bedroom because you could smoke, remember her parents smoked cigarettes. So we were able to smoke in the house.

And her brother, who was a teenager, had the best time in his life. He just came and hung out. Oh, yeah. And he told me that for years. I bumped into her brother a couple of years ago. He was an extra on an episode of billions. No kidding. And he was like, I remember Joe List's sleeping on our couch

and you guys going through like two seasons of Saved by the Bell. We had so much fun watching Saved by the Bell and shitting on it. I remember that because that was always my favorite thing to do when I smoked weed was to watch something nostalgic that I watched as a kid. It made fun of it. It's really, I mean, I could do an hour on Save by the Bell. Every date was at the max. They just only went to Burger King.

Do you remember the episode? I remember this specifically. We were watching it and we found out that Screech, was selling spaghetti sauce in the max. And you and I were like so high and thought that was so funny that they're like, you're just straight up selling food in a restaurant. That's really funny.

But I always thought that was fun because, you know, Annie was like, yeah, my brother thought that was like the greatest day. That's really sweet. And I was like, what a fun day. I remember that day. Because Annie was like, we were about to go back to Astoria. Yeah.

But I had a windowless room with air mattress and you were all the way off Dipmars. and she was just like, why don't you guys just hang out? We can order pizza. Her parents didn't care. And she was there too? Yeah, it was me, you, and Annie were watching it. Then her brother would come out and watch.

And then her parents would like come in and out, but they were like super sweet. And they're like, do you guys want pizza? And we were like 24 year old alcoholics with her 18, 19 year old NYU student daughter. And we're like, well, that'd be all right? Sorry, we got black out last night at the comic strip. How did we let these girls out of our hands, Dan? I don't know. but it was so funny, because I remember being like, what a monster.

If my daughter had a 24-year-old, two 24-year-old alcoholics just being like, sorry, we were so drunk, we couldn't get back to Queens. Well, then, like, it's also just crazy to think about, like, what's happened with comedy and the business. Like, I didn't do anything during the day at all, ever. Like, nothing. You just wait to do spots. I had, and also, I didn't have a phone or a computer.

I would walk to the internet cafe and check my Facebook messages once a day. Like, I would spend 10 minutes on a computer, no phone, and just be like, all right, well, I guess I'll just go to the world and do the six minute, whatever. Also, I remember telling people you were a comedian was a lot more shameful. Like, you would do anything but tell them. I'm still like that. On an airplane, I'm absolutely like that. Yeah, cab, all that. But I even think, like, now with like friends and family and stuff, I'm a little okay about it.

I'm like, yeah, do you stand up or whatever. Like, back in the day, you'd be like, it's a, I like it. You'd have to lead like. Well, and also, it. It was, before you did, that's why I like doing a late night. Before you do a late night, there's nothing to show that you're actually a comedian. Where after you do a late night, you can be like, I'm a professional comedian. I did Letterman and they're like, whoa.

But before that, you're like, I'm a comedian. Don't worry about it. Taking about doctors, when do they do? They go like, I, because you have like a residence and you go, I'm doing my residence. They go, okay, so you're not really. Right. But you have to go, I saved, I held a dying man. And you go, you're a real doctor.

I think you got a slice open. Once you have incised incisor. Yeah, just fuck. I'm so stupid. This is why she chose yoga in Cleveland over here. I know, I blew it. What could you do? But you never got to, what did you say to Sarah in bed?

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After you purchase, they're going to ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Oh, we were talking about, oh, because she was talking about, she felt shame about something. And I was like, time. And it was like one of those ones where you think we've gone to bed. Yeah. It's like, okay, good night. And then I was like, God, I feel like a moron.

And then I started talking about the Mac and she started dying laughing. And I'm like, I know it's funny. But also I'm having this moment of like, oh, my God. It's one of those things. It's a microcosm of your life, of the mistakes you made in life. You look back and think, like, I've met this woman. I love this woman. I'm going to go meet her family and just fucking clueless that I'm going to show up and be like,

I'll make my own mac and cheese dinner. And she's like, that's so insane. With a PBR. Yeah, six back. Well, this is the other thing. When I met this woman we're talking about and her mother, they were out drinking. And it was, I didn't realize I thought like, oh, her family's like my family. But this was like her mother's one night ever out.

drinking in New York City so I showed out moved yeah so I showed up and was like here's a PBR mrs. B yeah she goes I have early polo match yeah exactly I just felt like a fucking idiot don't drink beer so it all worked out yeah but that is someone saying I'm sure you have moments like that a ton of them yeah I have moments where people try to bring up like stuff I did drunk and you go oh man yeah I feel shame when people rightfully call me out on podcast when I interrupt people because I know that's the thing I do that I go I do I was telling he gets so many texts for me where I'm like was I talking about my dead dad again I suck and I just sent it's like it's all I talk about I need to shut the fuck up he'll like I feel bad

for Mike because he just hears me being like did I do that again I got we got to cut like if we talk about comedy we're going to do a thing for a while I bought it I bought a taser where if we talk too much about stand up he was going to lean over and zap me but then And I read the instructions, and it was like, this will kill a human. They're like, this is for large, I bought it online. It's for large hogs. Yeah, no, now you're into like jackass. You need a dog collar that buzzes, just like a vibration.

Yes. So we're still in the market. I think after this L.A. trip, we're going to figure this out. But I think what I'm going to get is either a patch. You can do a thing where it's like like an electric where it shocks me. Oh, God. But I like that idea. I like that idea of like.

It would be fun. Of having correction. of like, oh, I'm talking about this too much and be like, all right, guys, anyways, let's go back to those old women. Well, here's a premise, his an idea. Then the other person, the guest, they have to come up with what their thing is.

Or the crowd votes for it, or you come up with somebody. So, you know, if Norman comes on, he touches his chin, he's like, yeah, I like that. Oh, God. You come back on a second thing. Yeah.

I'm letting you know. First episode, pain free. But we have Rob Thomas back. You better not bring up a tour bus, or he's getting zapped. Rob Thomas, the musician? Yeah, from... Matchbox 20.

He did my podcast last week. He was awesome. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. It's funny as I do the thing now that I've met him where I like, I go, hey, that's my buddy. I love him. I know. I'm a hundred.

That's why I could never be famous or I could never be in that realm because I would just go, I've met him. He's nice. I can't be mean to him. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm like that with the worst people on Earth. Yeah, you meet him. I'm like, I don't know.

He's pretty good. That's what I always said. I said, like Tim Dylan will introduce you and go, you know, he used to shoot. kids out of a can and you go great guy nice to meet him hey it's nice to meet you sir everyone's great i love all the people but i've had that many times where like i've just you know behind the scenes been like that guy's the worst piece of shit comic he's a hack he sucks and then he'll send a message being like that was the best late night said i've ever seen him like i think he's misunderstood by the way this is something you and i always used to make fun of

nate about that we all do yeah of course Nate was the guy he was the shiny example of a friend where he would go like i don't like him dude something about him don't lack him. And then Nate would do Conan and that guy would be like, that was unbelievable five minutes. He goes, good dude. Yeah, he's a nice guy. I think he's a good dude. I was just with Nate. The night before the day before the Emmys. Really? At Denver, he was doing the arena. Oh, yeah, he was at Ball Arena. It's crazy. Did you go over there and see him? I went over. Yeah, we hung out. It was the whole thing. That's funny. How was that? Uh, it was fucking awesome. How weird is it going from an arena where it looks like he's like the president of United States

to a club? Because when you do that, I did that with Shane one time and you're like, Hey, everybody in my little clubhouse. Well, that's the thing that's so painful. It's because, like, we were talking about, Denver Comedy Works is like the best club ever. Yeah. Sold the shows out. So I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, this is the best weekend of my life.

Yeah. I'm in the best club, the best city. I mean, I would listen to Dave, tell skanks for the memories and be like, I want to do this place. Greg Geraldo, good day to cross a river. So many. And I think Rogan did a special there.

I was at that. All right? I was in Denver doing the High Plains Comedy Festival. and Ari and I were getting high and he's like do you want to go to Rogan's taping and I was like yeah I just went was it awesome I yeah I didn't know Rogan I got way too high with Ari and then I felt very insecure half the time because I was like well I don't work I hadn't worked the club yet right I was like I feel very weird here and then I also had a show on the high plains comedy festival that night so I was like oh god and I left I left like halfway through I went like I'm having a panic attack

I got too high he left a special taping yeah that would be really funny if you like watching you see your shadowy big head just kind of move across. Did I stay? I don't know. I went with my buddy Mike, so I might have stayed because of him, but I remember wanting to bail halfway through

and then getting that thing where you feel so much anxiety that you're like, I'm just going to leave. Right. But you were saying. Yeah, so I'm doing like five sold out shows and being like, this is the best weekend. I'm like, really, and then you go over,

Nate's in town. So you're like, let me go check this out. And there's literally 17,000 people there. I got, this is a Nate haircut and shave right here. on sight. Shout out Barbara Eric, who's fucking great. And then Luke Monos, is my opener, was getting his haircut. And then Julian

McCullough, who's hosting the show, in between acts, comes and he jumps the line. He's like, Luke, can I get a beard shave? We thought he was doing a bit. Like, during the show. During the show. And Luke's in the middle of a haircut. So he's got half a haircut. Julian jumps in and gets his fucking beard shaved. Because they're doing like 3 p.m. shows. Yeah, it was literally

a 3 p.m. show. The whole thing is just topsy-turvy. There's like people getting haircuts in between sets. And that's insane. It's wacky. But it was fucking unbelievable. Yeah. It's crazy.

I was blown away that he was doing shows the night before he hosted the Emmys. Well, Nate's a real ass dude, as Lewis would say. Like, they asked him to host the Emmys and he had three arena shows. And he's like, I'll host him, but I'm not canceling Denver. And they were like, well, you got to cancel Denver. That's crazy. The shows at 5 p.m. on Sunday. And he was like, well, that's what I'm doing.

And they were like, okay. So he did three shows for 45,000 people. and then flew back and hosted the Emmys. And Nate probably looks like a great negotiator when really he's just not saying anything. Right. And they go right in the and he goes, I don't know.

And they go, this guy does not play easy. This guy, fuck it. I mean, going, that's fucking crazy to go. And where Nate does look like,

I've been to one of his shows before in Atlanta. And it's like he is the leader of a small nation. That's how it is with Shane too. Like they're like, you'll see Shane. He might come in here. And you're like, he's my friend. I just wanted to say what's up.

No, it's crazy. And there's like 25 people working for them. There's like buses and there's like a crew of people in like lawn chairs that like are hanging out because they. Union guys. Yeah, did all the rigging or whatever. And they go, yeah, it's pretty good bit. It's really insane. And it was awesome.

And then I sent him a long text yesterday because you forget because you just adapt to like, oh, Nate's hosting the Emmys. It's crazy. And then you realize you're like, he hosts. in the Emmys. Like we're hanging out at the world. He had a whiffle and a fucking

Vanderbilt pullover and basketball shorts. He used to pick us up in Queens Plaza and his fucking shitty white was that a cord? Something like that. Yeah.

He was like a, it was a Toyota Corolla or something with a bumper thing on it on the back. That's how you knew it was him and he'd be like, you'd get in and he'd have his mountain dew, his diet

mountain dew and he'd be like, where are your spots at tonight? And you're like, I'm at World and stand up New York. He's like, cool. I'm at Broadway and then we'll go, you know, he's like driving.

It's great. Hosting the Emmys. What was even crazier to me is to watch Kristen Miliotti, my friend Kristen, win an Emmy with Nate hosting. She won for Penguin. And then she, and it was Nate that was hosting. I did a shitty rom-com with her in 2014. Oh, I remember that. She used to like, come to the cellar and hang out.

Right. She's the shit. Kristen is the shit, and she's a fucking phenomenal actress. I think that she used to shit. She used to shit. I was like, she doesn't shit anymore. No, Hollywood sewed her up. She's just filled her.

She just, she has a, a colostomy bag now. No, she was so cool and it's awesome. It was surreal watching Nate host and then her win and you're like, all right. I felt like it was like one of those things where my fourth grade science teacher was going to be there. I'm like, why is he there? Why is Mr.

McDonald there? No, it's crazy. And we were still at the condo, Luke and I were just, and you're watching the Emmys and you're like, we were with this guy 21 hours ago down the street. I went to, uh, I went to Colorado to hang out with my friends I grew up with and we went to the mountains or whatever. and we were going to get pizzas. And they were, like, waiting for the pizzas.

So we go to a bar so they can have a drink. And we're just sitting there and we're just talking. There's like 100 TVs around college football. And it's just like Shane on 100 TVs on his butt light commercial. I was like, it's weird. I'm with my high school friends. And I'm like, that guy everywhere is my buddy. You're like, it's just.

Yeah. It was like when you did the Captain Morgan's commercial. That was the first time where I had that feeling where they played the shit out of it during the world baseball classic. Yeah. And I would be at those Camino. And I'd be like sitting there at front bar, you know, like when the tables, when the food's out and you're just sitting there talking to the bartender, I go, that's my friend Joe, like you're one of the four guys. DiCaprio.

Yeah, I go, oh, oh, with the beer. Yeah, yeah. But I just have a little, like a fucking one of those, the paper cups of soda being like, that's Joe. Guys, it's becoming winter. It's becoming that really crusty, crappy weather. And you can't be wearing your tennis shoes out. Man, sometimes you got to go do work. actual people do work.

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Joe did an ESPN commercial, which was so funny because knowing you, I was like, Texas football and Joe do not. And we shot it at Duke. You really? Yeah, it was a weird time. And also, it wasn't technically or officially a commercial. It was a, a, oh, what are they? A promotion. So they could get around that.

For ESPN and only aired on ESPN. And my manager at the time, that fucking pimple, great guy, he was like, oh, man, he's like, I'm doing the math. This is going to be huge. And I was, of course, we were totally broke. I completely, can I just tell you? Please. From my perspective, I'm sorry to interrupt. I know I'm going to hate myself it for a letter.

But I remember being at a bar with you when you got it. And it's before it settled how much money you were actually getting. And you were like, do they play this? And then they play it all the time. I could be sitting on $100,000. Well, that's what he said. He said something like that. And I was like, this is nuts.

Like I'm going to make. We were doing it like Mortimer, we're back. Well, it's like good fellows. be like, motherfucker, we got them now. It was like we were all being made. Yeah, it really is how it felt. And it was only like two weeks later that he's like, okay, so it actually was a promotion.

So it was a one, I made $1,000. Yeah. Which at that time, if someone said, like, we're going to fly you to North Carolina and give you a thousand bucks, I would have shit ice cream for a month. But because he was like, you're going to make six figures,

I was like, this is the most devastating thing that's ever happened. It's where when you play a game with somebody, it's the age old thing where you go guess a number and someone goes way too high. And you go, well, now you've blown the thing. I just had that, I do a bit about how long green eggs and ham is, the book.

Oh, I love that bit. And, oh, thanks. And I'm like, I can take a guess how long. And then some guy just yelled from the back. I wasn't even the person I was asking. And he just said the number. And I was like, wasn't you fucked up my whole, I'm talking to him. Yeah, why did you do that?

He blew it. Yeah, I saw you do it at Sesh and someone went with a number way too high. And you were like, it does feel like that. Like, I watched you do the thing. Yeah, you had to do like, yeah, where you go. Oh, well, okay, I'm going to adapt to it. But when someone goes like, guess how much they paid them? $500 million?

You go, $40,000. Jesus. Yeah. Make me feel like a fucking dickhead. Yeah, you blew it. Yeah. But I remember that, dude. You getting the Captain Morgan's.

Well, the Captain Morgan's commercial. Well, that one did. I made like $40,000 offer of something like that. They also, if you don't remember, they told you this was the first of many that you were going to be the four guys. Yeah, we thought it was going to be a thing. Yeah. And didn't you celebrate with the other guys?

Where you're like, look at us. We're in a band. We're a boy band. Well, I don't remember. Another crazy thing about that, by the way, the bartender in that commercial just happened to be dating. I only found this out recently. My now best friend, Karen Feehan.

What? Isn't that crazy? What are the chances of that? At that time? At that time, she was dating him. And he was like, I did this Captain Morgan commercial. Anyway, where he pushes over the things and then you guys all stand like Captain Morgan. Because that's how you guys get in.

Isn't that wild? You do the fake posters? We made a post, which I still have some of those posters. and the other thing about that was that was the first audition I ever did in my life and I got it and evidently

that's not a thing you're supposed to say on set I was like I've never even done this people were like enraged these guys are like what and I was like first audition yeah look at that look how little he looks dude

that kind of was really hot yeah where the four look at you in the back I'm peeking in I think I over did it with the eyebrow I love it oh you guys hit the pose I got to do the thing

I also did in the first take and he was like that was the best take we've ever had or something. Did you guys have to practice the choreography of all you guys doing at the same time? Or did you do it separately and they lined it up? We did it separately.

Okay. But also, Captain Morgan was my drink, which was amazing. I remember. And so I had done that a million times, the fucking thing. So I had already rehearsed. Well, the reason I remember doing that was

I used to have an argument with you when we were very little and friends and we would be drinking. I wouldn't touch Captain Morgan's because I got sick off it at Arizona at the University of Arizona and you were like, you would insist the only way

through the storm when going through hell is to keep going. Like a buffalo. And you would go, get a Captain Morgan's and I'd be like, Joe, I don't think you understand.

I could still smell at the time. I was like, this smell of it makes me want to throw up and you were like, get this guy a captain in Coke. And I was like, please don't do that. And I remember having to tell you

like, Joe, I can't do it. Boy, you have great memories of back then. I used to love it. I mean, you know why moving to New York City, and this is why I say, when anybody loves something and they start doing it, go be completely surrounded by it, even if it really sucks.

Because in hindsight, the being surrounded by it helped me get over the sucky part. Right. Because we were just out every night. What I loved about it was meeting you, Bulger, and Ira, and also meeting Norman, Ruby, and Joe Alexander. Oh, yeah.

I just talked to him on the phone today. Oh, I love Joe. Joe's the fucking man. He was the funniest guy that just stopped doing it. That's how you feel like a bitch. when you see a guy that's great at it and he goes, this shit's kind of gay. And you go, all right,

well, we're going to chase it the rest of our life. And he was like, Joe is so funny. And he was like, yeah, I don't know. I'm going to go get some pussy in the Bronx. And we were like, um, we're going to go do open mics. Joe Alexander did one of my favorite things that people did. One of my favorite comedic things in life is when you steal from a bodega

by just opening the thing and start eating it. He would just do that. And it was endlessly funny to me when someone's just like, he says eating chips. And I was like, that was fucking crazy. is it? You almost, in your mind, you go, well, practically it would make sense

to knock it in trouble because you ate it in the store. Yeah, you just walked right out and I was like, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah, but. Yeah, I remember getting high at the bodega, your house and going to the bodega and coming back and playing video games.

Yeah, the hot bagel. Yeah. I think that place is still there. But we, uh, I just remember being like around you guys than seeing like, I'd never been around people from New York City, people from Boston. Yeah.

It's like, Colorado, Arizona at all. It kind of gets like, after a while, you're like, I know what it's boring. So it was fun. And then we were just doing stand-up every night. And then you knew Nick DePaolo. You knew fucking, like, Atel. I remember you meeting Colin Quinn for the first time.

Do you remember that? You were about to audition. Oh, I do remember that. You were about to audition at the cellar the next night. You and I were sitting at the bar drinking a pitcher of beer each. And he didn't know. And you didn't want Colin to know. We each had our own pitcher.

Well, Colin, I remember early on drinking at the cell. And Colin came up and was like, don't drink here. This is not the place you come. to drink. Yeah. And I was like, oh, do,

which, by the way, is the equivalent of the mac and cheese in the back seat. Like, I'm just like,

I'll just go down and throw down beers at the cellar. Dude, we used to fucking, and we were drinking, they had these little mugs. We were drinking,

picture, we had our own pitchers. And Colin came up, and we were watching them on the TV or whatever. And then he came up and he had a red sweatpants pants and a red hoodie on or whatever.

And his joke on stage was, he's like, eh, when you're out of shape, you wear the most gym wear. The fatter you are, the more workout close. Yeah, the more work. That I remember.

And then he came and put his arms around us and he went, hello boys, like that. And he went, Joe List, and you went, this is my friend, Dan Soter. And he goes, what's your last name? And I went, Soter, goes, ugh, change it. And then he talked to you and you were auditioning. And he went, don't fucking drink beers when you're auditioning tomorrow. And you go, no, no, this is his picture. I had to slide over the picture to make it look like.

I had two pictures of beer in front of me. And you were like, that's his picture. And we were fucking banging these little fucking beers. but I remember that night. Oh, I just. And then the next night, you went and auditioned, got passed. And then you came to my apartment. We got high and went to Neptune.

Wow. I remember that specifically because we danced in the street. You came and you're like, I got past in the cellar. We were like, let's fucking go. We were so fucking hyped. Oh, my stoop. Oh, I'm such a piece of shit. Why are you a piece of shit?

No, you know. I just looked back on all that. And I was such a cunt because I was like, ah, you know, I'll be nice to the young guy. You hang out. You got, when you answer phones, I know DePaolo, I know Quinn, and I just thought, I don't know. I thought it was just going to all be easy and I fucked up. But what was great was, blew it. No, but then I think the best part was that you, I, like, watching you stop drinking and then become incredible at standup and then just getting everything you had, but for real now.

Yeah. I just would, I could have done it a little earlier maybe, but yeah, it all worked out. It all worked out. You could have hit on that girl at the mall. Could have hit on that girl at the mall. Yeah. And I would have never left Whitman. It would have been with her.

Could have never left a girlfriend from Denver. He'd be unhappy. And you'd be still eating mac and cheese and PBR's in the back of a car. And they go, we know you love him, but he's a lot. That was the other thing is when I was thinking about the mac and cheese. I was like, I should get a box of blue. A little blue craft mac and cheese. That could be fun.

I could eat that again. It is delicious. You know what's funny is there was a place when I lived in Hoboken that I would stop off the train and I would get these like fried egg sandwiches with steak on like, a Kaiser roll with cheese and shit i mean it fucking even describing it i'm like but i used to get it after we do monday nights at the comedy village yeah that was fun and i'd get blackout and i'd go eat these sandwiches at like two in the morning and fall asleep on this futon and whenever i'm near there in hoboken when i'm like doing work on the condo and i'm like go to walgreens or

something i'll be like pick up one of them fucking friday steak sammies go and get me an under 30 dude well we can't go to neptune anymore it's gone i was i didn't believe it until I drove by. It's sad. It's very sad. Neptune Diner was the fucking best. That was fun. You, me and Dan Hirshan would spend a lot of time.

Do you know, I remember laughing with Joe, they would hate us because we would be drunk and we would go get chicken and rice, but cups, not even bowls. Yeah. And then we'd ask for extra crackers. Yeah, yeah. And they'd just give us crackers and then we'd just break them into it. Oh, that was great. And that's all you could afford.

Well, that's the thing is I was so obsessed with the fun and the hang. I was too much obsessed with the hang. You regretted embarrassing Hirshan, which was great for more laughs. And you had your impression of... I mean, I don't know if we can do it anymore. That's if you see me in person, ask me, and I'll tell you what it was. And hand me two straws. No, it was great.

I just regret how much I was in. I mean, I regret everything. I got no guidance. Yeah, yeah, no. I think that's the thing I'm telling you as your friend is let go of all that shit. We're through it. You're married. You got a great wife.

you got a great kid, you got a great career. You're one of the best work in stand-ups. I only think about it when we're talking about it. And then you're like, oh, my God. The cringe. You feel the cringe of. Yeah. And, um, oh, yeah, dude.

I mean, I remember, see, I'll cringe thinking about bombs. Right. Of, like, shows, I'll go, oh, why did I say? I'll remember things I said and I'll be like trying to get out of the bomb and you're like, oh, oh, God. Well, just the mindset. I remember I did live at Gotham in 08. I was there.

And I was like. I sat at a table with Uncle Dale. Micah Sherman, me, and Uncle Dale. And who, Hershaw? Hershaw. It was me, Hershon, Michael Sherman, and Uncle Dale. That's so fucking funny. I went to the taping and it was, I went to your episode and the episode before Kevin Hart hosted

yours. Hosted my, yeah. And I remember being bummed because I was like, I got some guy that no one's ever fucking heard of. I mean, a billionaire. I was like literally, who is this guy? I've never heard of him in my life. He had just done SoulPoint.

That's so funny. But I remember doing that show and being like, well, now I've made it. Like now, just let it all come to me. Meanwhile, it was like a showcase show that, like, 75 comics did. Half of them don't do stand-up comedy anymore. It's crazy if you look at the roster of, because I did, you did season three, I did season four. Right. But it's also crazy is when you look at the people that did season four of Live at Gotham with me.

There are some people like Kumail Nanjani, Kyle Canane. There are like people that are huge. Wow. Joe Mandy was on my episode. Well, Nate did my season. Yeah. I, because you know why, I opened for Nate right after he taped his episode.

Justin Silver got me a gig emceeing for, I was emceeing, Justin Silver was featuring and Nate was headlining. And it was for Anthony Zenhauser. I had the show. Oh, I remember Anthony. I saw Anthony, not that long ago. Yeah, Anthony, I bumped into Anthony at Cast Digital.

But I remember that and he was talking about, he did the episode and he taped either with Schumer or was the episode before. And he was like, she's funny, dude. Like, I remember him being like, like she got jokes wow it is so crazy to think about all that and i was so naive and drunk and stupid and so full of myself i was blackout drunk that i was uh the day i taped live of gotham that i was mad none of the managers wanted to talk to me i was like sitting there like this

hey just drinking a beer and be like you don't fucking care about you fucking pieces of shit well i had like the classic alcoholic thing where i had like ego like i'm going to be big because I'm friends with these guys and I'm the hot shot from Boston but at the same time I'm like I'm a complete piece of shit and I'm like I'm never going to ask for anything or try to get anything and I don't deserve anything

one of my one of the memories that isn't like that but it just makes me laugh was Big Jay came to my taping of Live at Gotham and I was first up on a Thursday night I was on like the early show and so I went first and so I was done first and I go outside to smoke a cigarette with Big Jay

and Big Jay's like dude let me buy you a drink come on let's go to a bar but we're in chelsea so we go into this gay bar and there's just all these uh rainbow rainbow flags around and big jay goes what's up girlfriend can i get a shot of jack daniels and the guy goes i swear to god the guy goes i ain't nobody's girlfriend and jay goes my bad it's like but jay the way he slapped his hands down he goes what's up girlfriend can i get a shot of jack daniels that reminds me of uh so fucking funny the de paolo classic when we were walking in minneapolis at acme we were walking up the street and two like butch lesbians walk by and he goes fellas yeah i mean they laughed they yeah yeah and uh oh my god dude those were like i mean i told the people people bring it up now in the

comments the louis the village is working oh yeah where you because you were like de pauls around the corner and you went and saw them you go louis they're working out go get them we used to get drunk and put ourselves in positions where we're like oh god we embarrassed ourselves oh you know it's a great story though this is the worst podcast of my life no oh you only got 10 more minutes I got to start letting go. I'm letting go. It all worked out. What about the funny,

what about one of the funnest stories of all time, which the lady that ran the Monday night show? Yes. It was a bringer show. You'd have to bark. Joe would, so I'll give you the background. Joe at MC.

We didn't tell the story on the first episode. I got the house MC gig. You got Joe. She taps Joe to host the show. And she promised you like a hundred bucks a Monday and never paid you. It was something. It was enough money that both of us were. I was upset.

50 for you but it was something so the whole point was Joe would have to emcee and the show would start at eight but here's the thing the show would go till two in the morning right because she would get whoever's at the cellar or whoever was around like come up and do a spot like Jim Norton or Keith or Bobby or Voss and I was barking I was one of the barkers you know who else was one of the barkers I think for a couple weeks Schultz yeah that's what I met Andrew Schultz and Mike Vecchio and Graham K Graham K Thomas Dale Thomas Dale but we would all Vecione wasn't barking but Thomas Thomas Dale.

No, it wasn't barking. Shultz, Graham K. and I would all be out there in the West Village barking. Right. And then I learned the secret was, if I stood in the front, I could hang out with you. I could put my beer right inside that door and I could just smoke cigarettes. And then also it didn't really feel like barking. And then people would come by and go, hey, come see a comedy show. Technically, I was barking.

Right. So that was my workaround. But, dude, the lady that booked the show would always talk about doing stand-up, but she never did it. and then these shows were brutal and finally one Monday night it's like oh man yeah two o'clock it's like maybe 1 30 2 o'clock in the morning all that is left in the audience are three New York firefighters FDNY and they're up there and she's drunk and she's like wine drunk and she's like I'm gonna go on stage and Joe's hosting and Joe's like okay I was I remember this specifically I was outside smoking a cigarette and Joe you came out you go so she's

going to go up and I was like I don't know how you remember this shit because this is one of my favorite memories and I went what and you're like she's I'm about to bring her up I'm not going to say her name we're going to keep the name out and I was like well I got it because the way she would talk to me about comedy you would think she had six HBO specials right so I was like let's go I'm so excited to finally watch her do stand up and I know she's drunk because I was at the bag it in drinking with her half the time in between barking so I go on stage and I go on stage and I Again, it's three firefighters, FDNY. She gets on stage.

She sits down with her wine and she grabs the mic and she goes, are you guys firefighters? And they go, and she goes, do you know what, 9-11 was an inside job? And you hear them go, like that. And Joe and I are by the door where the lights and the music are. And there was a back stairwell that would go to the bar that was under it. And Joe goes, Joe looks at me and goes, when I count to three, you hit play on the stereo, I'll get the lights.

And he goes, one, two, three. And she's on stage going. Anyways, 9-11, you can tell that the government did it. And then he turns out on the light, and I hit play, and it was Black Dog by Zeppelin. And it goes, hey, mama, say, where you move, go make you dance, go make you groove.

And Joe and I go down the stairs to the bar. We get a beer and get a fucking empty beer, and we split it. Because that Irish guy, that boxer was the bartender. Yes. Terry from Derry. And I was like, dude, Can we get a beer and we split it?

And we're sitting there. Dude, people from the, that work at the club, like 10 minutes later are coming in going, do you guys hear about that shit? Someone turned the lights off and turned the stereo on her. And we were like, what? And instead they were like, whoa, that was crazy. I remember that night. I remember us leaving and going to Astoria and laughing like the entire train.

That makes me very proud. Yeah. I feel like a patriot. Dude, we did it. Yeah. We were like, fuck it. And you were like, you hit play. Because I remember being such a pussy that you were like, just hit play on the stereo.

And I was like, blah. And then you fucking dim the lights and the lights all went out. Just hearing fucking Robert Plant over that. That's like, because we didn't cut her mic. Right. But it was just zeppelin over her. But did it? So how did that not come back to us?

Because the show got canceled like two weeks later. She stopped working there. Everything fell apart. And we were like, we never had to answer for it. But that was a big deal. Because I remember thinking like, all right. I got a regular gig. I'm at a club.

Monday nights in the West Village. And we and I became friends there. Yeah, Vecchio would always be that. Mike D. would always be there. Mike Stefano. And then you remember we talked Bolger into coming and do it, but he got too drunk. Yeah.

And he was out front. It was like Labor Day. And he was whole, he was like passed out wine drunk holding the American flag. I think he got thrown out of the actual comedy seller too. Like, like, Jazzy Jeff style. Yeah. And then he came over there. Yeah.

He came around the corner because he was friends with Geraldo. And he was like, I wanted to go see Gerald. but Bolter was just blackout and he was like, I don't even know. Oh, we really fucked up. That was so fun. When did we fuck up? We didn't fuck up anything.

I fucked up a lot. All those stories I'll answer for. And I think all of them were funny. And I don't think we did anything wrong. But I could have had a career. What are you talking about? You're fine. You live in Manhattan with your wife and your baby.

Well, now I'm fucking 75 years old. You're 44. But I could have been making a living one at 43. Jesus Christ. 48. I could have been making a living. I could have been John Malaney. Don't you see?

Oh, you don't you don't want. that you don't want to go to rehab again. Who gives the shit, dude? What was I about to say? You got the movie. You made a movie about Tom Dustin. I know, I made a movie about this. Portrait of a comedian.

Yes, go fucking watch it for the love of grace. You can order it right now. What's that? You're in it. Because I bring them up on Rogan. Very briefly, yeah. That was my only goal when I first did Rogan is how many names can a guy get in? I got in Tom's, I got in Samarills, I got in a couple where I was just kind of like,

I'm going to say names that I feel like should be said on Rogan. Yeah. It gets exciting for people to hear. But also, I, I don't know what I was going to say. I'm just regretting my whole life. The mac and cheese, the alcoholism. But anyway, so we made a movie.

Here's my thing. I'm telling you, I'm your friend. I've known you for close to 20 years. Yeah. I'm telling you you're full of poop. Poop. Let it go. I got to poop it out.

Can poop it out. Okay. Forget it. Poop it out. It's your parents' fault. Go buy portrait of a comedian. It's out now. It's a fantastic story.

about a fucking hilarious human being and the route that Tom has taken. Everything that we have talked about here is preamble. It's funny because... By the way, Tom Dustin, let me just say my favorite Tom Dustin story. Please. Of one of the dangers of inviting Tom Dustin into the house

is that he will go for jokes. I'm not going to bring up dog's mouth. That's one of my favorite stories. One of the Altai classic. Change to human beings life. He called someone with bad teeth dog's mouth. He goes, you have dog's mouth. And the guy went, what?

He goes, you have the mouth of a dog. and it fucking changed that guy's life but then Tom Dustin this is my favorite Tom Dustin's story I used to live with a guy my first year living in a story who was tough hang nice guy tough hang

do you remember when we watched Packers Giants and we went to go buy beer and it was snowing outside and we walked outside and I lit up a cigarette and you go that's the unfunniest I've ever been around it was that old roommate oh wow no I don't remember any of this

I remember dog's mouth that was at stand up New York at the end of the bar We were going to get more beers at the bodega. And I walked outside because my old roommate, and I lit a cigarette. We were watching Brett Farb's last game as a packer. And you went, God, that guy's unfunny.

And I went, right? I was like, I have to live. He was a very nice guy. Yeah. Very sweet guy. Great guy. So we go in, and I'm telling him, we're coming from the city, Tom and Alvin and everyone's in town.

And we're going, we did Monday nights. And then we're like, you know, that old Joe List energy where you're like, we'll go to sodas. smoke a bowl. We'll go to Neptune. Woo! We're like, we're going to back.

So we go to my house and I tell them before I go, listen, my roommate's going to be there. He's a tough hang. We're kicking him out at the end of the year. I go, but don't say anything. I go, just don't say anything. And then we go into my room, my windowless room, and we smoke a bowl. And then we're leaving. Everyone's like lined up to the front door and we're leaving.

We're going to the diner. And Tom goes, great to meet you. He goes, are those, is that? We had a sheet over our front window because we're on a busy street. We had no money. So we just put a bed sheet over the window to block it. And there's a bed sheet. And Tom goes, nice to meet you.

Is that your sheet on the window? And the guy goes, yeah, it is. And Tom goes, huh, they're going to let you keep it when they kick you out? And then I was like, Tom, like I, like, ushered him out like a politician. And I was like, dude, I was so mad, but also thought it was the funniest thing in the world that he did that. Yeah, he's got a lot like that. He goes, they're going to let you keep that sheet when they kick you out. And I was like, why would you?

By the way, the guy didn't know we were going to kick him out yet. Of course. Oh, my God. The next day had to walk with him to subway and put a bullet in his head. I'd go, by the way, he wasn't wrong. I would like you out. That guy's crazy. I don't know where he got that from.

I couldn't even do that. I couldn't even do that. I'd go, well, he brings up a good point. And then I had to kick him out. So thanks, Tom. But Tom Dustin is fucking hilarious. Yeah, one of the funniest people ever. So we made a movie.

And it's funny. It's ironic because I'm just sitting here being, like I fucked up my whole life and career. And the whole plot of the movie is my, how much better I did in my career. That you want to help him. Yeah, well, so yeah, we started together and I moved to New York and eventually got sober and got back together.

It was Joe's best friend Tom. Like that's how everybody, when Tom would come, you'd like Tom Dustin, also at house of comedy. Yeah. Which I'll say very early in my career made me feel like a comic. I would go to Boston with you.

I would go do these. shows Uncle Dale's fire benefit or whatever are do also these like random ass one-nighters you would get and I would go up there and stay on the couch at the Everett House comedy and it made me feel like a comic yeah it was fun talking softball when he was the commissioner of the league yeah yeah and it was like I love Tom Dustin and so I was very happy you made a movie about him and then you sent it to me and I got to see it and was fucking great oh thanks you know it's it's I'm really really really proud of it and people have been overwhelmingly positive about the letter by reviews are great.

Yeah, so go check it out. Go buy it. Listen to Tuesdays with stories. Listen to the regs. Go watch all of Joe's specials. His latest one is on YouTube. Go get it a click. Yeah, small ball.

Go watch all of them. He's one of the best working comics. One of the best comics of all time. He's just one of my favorite comedians. He's a person that I watch and I go like, I'm so fucking happy and proud to be your friend because of how good it, how funny you are. You're just like one of the best.

So go watch a portrait of a comedian. Joe lists movie about Tom Dustin and listen to the regs go buy regs merch Oh yeah, Regs baby Regs merch Go buy regs Get that

Regs merch baby We'll never see a goddamn dime of it No, we'll get it Go buy a dunking moose shirt We'll get it And yeah It's a great show Go watch my special on YouTube

For the love of Christ Oh and then the movie's on Punch Up Live The greatest website ever made I mean yeah Go watch movie review We gotta do a movie watch along I'd love to watch a movie with you

Oh, dude, I've got a lot of opinions about movies. Bull Durham or Hoosiers. Hoosiers might be fun. I'd like Hoosiers. Give me Bull Durham. I want to do Bull Durham. Well, it's not, we're not going to, we're going to make fun of it. It's a movie you've got to be able to make fun of it.

What about Top Gun? I got all kinds of Top Gun bits. I got a new Top Gun bit. I mean, don't do the new bit, but don't burn the bit. Don't burn the bit, but I'd watch Top Gun with you. I'd love to watch Top Gun 2 with you to really shit on it. I didn't care for Top Gun 2. Good.

I'm the only way I didn't like it. Good. Let's go through it as fuck. This is one of my beefs with it. First of all, the plot is Star Wars. Like, the whole movie is like the first Star Wars. Like, we got to go up here and there's this one spot. We got to all funnel in.

Put a pin in that. Okay, sorry. I think we just found our next watch along. I got one other thought, too, real quick is I hate how they, and I sound like a Republican guy, but I'm like, why do they depict, they're like Navy fighter pilots and they're like, there's no way we can do this. They're all like, why are they a bunch of fucking F words? I've never flown a plane.

Oh, I've got notes on it, especially about where he lands, that there happens to be a jet, that he can fly. Right. All right, we might have to do Top Gun 2, Mavericks Bugaloo. But go do everything. Go watch Portrait of a Comedian first. I love if I came on to plug a movie, and I'm just trashing the most successful movie of the last 20 years.

No, this is how you wet the appetite for us to do a movie watch along. Jolos is the man, and we both are very happy that you watch this podcast. Thank you very much. Goodbye. You know,