Soder - 105: Cigarette Bidet with Derrick Stroup | Soder Podcast | EP 103

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Support the sponsors to support the show! Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code SODER at https://www.Ridge.com/SODER #Ridgepod https://ridge.com/?utm_source=Soder&utm_medium=Podcast The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city! Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tour NOV 7 San Antonio, TX NOV 8 Austin, TX NOV 13 Iowa City, IA Nov 14 Minneapolis, MN NOV 15 Madison, WI NOV 21 Kansas City, MO NOV 22 St. Louis, MO DEC 5 Vancouver, BC DEC 6 Eugene, OR DEC 12 Columbus, OH DEC 13 Royal Oak, MI Follow Derrick Stroup https://www.instagram.com/derrick_yells/ https://www.derrickstroupcomedy.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqACTS2zgnk PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  Mike Lavin     @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey everybody. I'm on the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. It's been awesome so far. We're having so much fun going and doing these shows in these awesome venues. Friday, November 7th at the Empire Theater in San Antonio, Texas. I'm going to have a hell of a time. I'm excited for this show. November 8th, the Paramount Theater, Austin, Texas, one of my favorite theaters in the country. This shit rules. I got to open for Hannibal Burris there like 10 years ago and I loved it. Came back, did it a part of his Moon Tower. Well, guess what? I'm back, baby, with a full new hour.

Going to be with Brendan Sagalow and Matt Ross. November 8th at the Paramount Theater, Austin, Texas, as part of the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. Go to DanSota.com to get your tickets. Go to DanSota.com. Don't go to Google. Don't be an idiot. DanSota.com.

It's for the best deals. My great-grandfather's from, like, Alt, Colorado. Alt. It's very tiny. I mean, if you're not in Denver or any of those, like, top three cities, it's the most rural place on earth. It is. I mean, there's just absolutely nothing. Which is interesting.

That's what I love because you're, we just, by the way, we just start recording. We don't like do an intro or anything. Okay, cool. But you're from Alabama and people don't realize, they think Colorado is like mountains and Denver. And they don't realize it's just so much flight. Oh, there's so much of nothing. Have you, did you drive there from Alabama when you moved there? No, no.

Took the first flight I'd ever been on to. Denver. I was 30 years old. Yeah, yeah. What's the first flight at 30 like? Uh, really awkward because your, your mom still walks with you at the air. My mom came with it. Yeah, yeah. And she was like, all right, this is it. I mean, I was literally like at this point, I was going, like, you know, it's so funny. It's a time is, it's a tell as oldest time. I was headed west to chase my dreams. Yeah. Like, I'd already burned everything down. And so you just head west. And that's what I did. My mom put me on an American airline flight and I went out. Yeah. Were you. nervous the night before? No, no, I was so pumped. I was like, it kind of felt like,

uh, like it felt like a pardon or something. Like I was getting out of Alabama. I'd screwed up a bunch and now I was going to get another chance and a, you're like this true family will not be. Yeah, yeah. I'm leaving the name. I was so, I, I, I, I, I, I, the only thing I was nervous about was just like, uh, that's just not knowing anybody really and just kind of going out there. So you're moving Alabama to, you grow up in Alabama. What part Alabama's your girl? Uh, right outside of Huntsville. Uh, okay. Which, which you're, It's great. Yeah, yeah, it's great.

Great city. Which is crazy. It's like the science capital of the south. Thank you, Dan. The first thing we want as people from Huntsville is to know that we're not like the rest of the immediately. I go, I'm from Huntsville, very different than the rest of this. And nobody ever buys it.

It would be fun to go to like Montgomery or something. And they're like, oh, Eric Strupe. Oh, the old fancy fucking fancy pants who flew off to the mountains on a plane, mind you. Exactly. I mean, you know, I mean, I went to school in Jacksonville, Alabama. It was only two hours south, and it was a huge difference in that. I mean, it's, Huntsville is, uh, there's very, I mean, great club. Yeah.

Great club. Very smart people, but very smart people. The only Alabama thing about him was, I have a joke about my hair transplant and I talk about veneers. Yeah. And it didn't. No, nobody. You were there.

And then on the Saturday show, I go, you guys don't know what veneers are. And they laughed and they went, I don't even know. And then I felt like a future man explaining science teeth. That is hysterical. And some of these guys are working on like rockets actively. But they go, oh, you're telling me they can make teeth now? Yeah, that is. It's a unique place because I've never seen so many engineers in lifted trucks.

You know what I mean? This guy's into Legos, but he only wears camo. Yeah. And that's such a unique. It's crazy to look at a microscope and then spit. Yeah. You go, yeah, the amoeba's in there. No.

Oh, 100%. Oh, you know what? I think it looks like we're going to be able to maintain an altitude of that. And they're roll tide. Yeah, exactly. Looks like his rocket's giving them hail, Chris. Yeah. I love that.

I did a show with on Bert's tour on the fully loaded tour. We were Alabama. We were in like where Florida Alabama is. Oh, yeah. Like Orange Beach area. Yeah, Orange Beach. Yeah, yeah. And we were doing it.

And when I was on stage, I said, that is Alabama autism is go tide. Oh, for sure. That's like how they, like, do they go like, roll Todd. Yeah, in any situation, baby's born, somebody dies. Roll Todd. And you go, he's communicating. He is. Roll Todd.

He wants to be friends, y'all. This is Doug. Roll Todd. And then are you Alabama or Auburn? I root for Auburn because you got to pick one. But here's kind of the twist. I was born in Charleston, West Virginia, and lived there until I was nine. So you're a Mountaineers guy?

I'm big time. Yeah, yeah. So you're like, fuck. Pit. I don't give a shit about it. I hate them. You know, it's so funny. I was watching the coach to a press conference earlier. Their coach. I can't stand the guy. I mean, he said something today about I don't think the mountaineers even want to play us anymore. And I mean, we lost Ohio last week. So it's not like we're riding any. I know the bobcats. The school that's named after the state that nobody knows about. Yeah. Got them bobcats coming after you. It's tough. But yeah, big mountaineers fan, Dan. Love them. The one thing about sports that non-sports fans don't understand is if you are into college athletics, you will hate the rivals on a different level than pro sports. Oh, it's not even close. Because it's truly about like family.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pro sports, like you got a Nuggets hat on. I'm a lifelong Nuggets fan. Yeah. Fuck the Lakers forever. Yeah, I feel the same way. But the hate that I feel towards Nebraska. Yeah.

Growing up a Buffs fan. Yeah. The hate that I feel towards. how good they were in the 90s, how they used to just bully us, and then we'd win some, and you're like, fuck,

and it's great. It's so intense, Dan. It's almost a sexual relationship where you have this like, like with an ex, where you're like, oh, what do you want to do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you going to do about it? Yeah, I was trying to explain to my wife, just like a few nights ago, there was a college football game on. Yeah. I think somebody had won in the last seconds of the game,

Florida State or something, whatever. And I was trying to explain to her the atmosphere, and I was, was standing up in the living room, and I was going, it's just different. Everybody's losing their mind because pro sports do not reach very rarely the chaos of a college football game when rivalries are playing. I would argue that college football over the NFL hits like Colombian soccer level of like someone might get killed if something bad happens. Totally, man.

And people, you lose your, I mean, I've lost almost consciousness in the stand, a fumble on the ground. You're just grabbing. You've been drinking bourbon for two days. I'm jealous that I never I went to Arizona so obviously I like the Arizona Wildcats grew up a Colorado Buffs fans I like that but the thing that hooked me with sports was the 49ers oh yeah so that is my love sometimes in pro sports it's it's like the only thing that can jump college sports is the familial connection of a pro sport absolutely like Yankees fans have it a lot yeah they do see that a lot with like my fucking dad yeah yeah my fucking grandpa used to watch Joe DiMaggio and you're like I get it. It is real. You're right. Because I went to a Yankees game. I experienced it. You're right. They're great. But I'm so interested about it because, I mean, dude, first off, you have football coach. If you were not being a comedian, you would have been running.

I'd be an offensive line coach. You would be. And just the right one with the nice mix were some singers in there, Dan. I got them laughing. But I'm really mad. Yeah. And I'm going to run y'all until you puke. It's not a joke.

It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. We lose another game. I'm going to leave my wife. I promise you. I'll leave her and I'll leave her. bring her here and you can watch your cry this is what america is missing is there's too many people

in this world that don't have or have had a football coach oh my yell at them and then bust their balls it's to pull them back that's what america's missing real finesse yeah real criticism yes mixed in with some ass slapping jokes yeah yeah yeah yeah buddy but i know you get that next time you're like yeah yeah yeah because now you've got the point and it and it feels good it rounds the edges I mean, I had some coaches that could have done stand-up, but they didn't know what it was. Yeah, or they thought it was gay. Yeah, for sure. We're going to go do your little speaking to her?

For sure. I remember one of our offensive linemen, six, seven, 300 pounds, Dan, and he was soft as tissue, and he was smart, man. He's smart. He has a great job. But I remember the coach just losing his mind. He goes, I bet you if it was on a floppy disc, you'd know every play. And you've got to sit over there. Nobody can laugh.

And you're like, my God, that was pretty good. Oh, bars. Yeah, bars. This guy's getting roasted. Yeah. Yeah, I sucked at football, so it, but I was funny. Yeah. So I appreciated the jokes more than the criticism where they're like,

you got to get back to hook the curl. You got to get back to hook the curl. He's like, God damn it, you run like my wife with her dildo still in her ass. And you go, that's good. That's good. I'm more focused on that one. Like, I was absolutely just like, I found out the term for it later in life, but like glue guy.

Oh, yeah. Like, I was just like the locker room guy where I would just be funny, but I sucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was like, I mean, but you're, you got to have that guy. Yeah. I mean, I was, I was similar to that. I was playing, but I was definitely the glue guy.

And I found like, I went to a school where our athletics, it was all black dudes. So we were pretty decent. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, like our basketball, like when the, when I came into the game, place went nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, make a wish, nuts.

Yeah, we had, we had one of those guys on our basketball team. And it was, they chanted his name. Yeah. I remember for the first time of my life feeling bad for a guy getting applause. Oh, man. Because you could tell he was embarrassed. Oh, it is. Because you want a little bit of love.

They were like, Ritchie, Ritchie. And he was like, fuck, all right. I'm six, eight. Yeah, I know. He's like, I don't have a caretaker. Like, you know. Yeah. No, but I say that to say that, like, I found a lot of my humor in those locker rooms.

Like, black dudes would be cutting each other down, torching me, torching me. And I'd get brave enough. I go, I'm going to throw one in there. And it would land. Everybody would run around. I still, I'm chasing that high to this day. I mean, that's where, like, locker rooms are I think. In a locker room with black football players getting a big pop of laugh, you'll never know that.

Dude, it's unreal. It's not wrong. I've been chasing that my whole life. It's 7V7 football camp at Colorado State. We went up with our high school and I put on a clinic in the dorms of prank phone calling. Oh my goodness. And I'm going to tell you right now, I love it. That first week of school walking through as a sophomore and having seniors.

black dudes going soda and you're like yeah and you're like how about top of the world oh man just because i was praying phone call oh man all they'd have to say they'd go man you're dumb as hell you go i am dog i'm dumb as hell oh little black boys and little white girls he just called me dumb and i forget feel i believe in martin i believe in martin's the king's dreams they go they go stroop's stupid i'm so stupid man i love it and then your teacher goes are you and you go No, no, no, no, that's different. That's code. No, I know I'm a, I'm a poor test taker.

Yeah, that's it. There's a difference between what they're calling stupid and what I actually am. Oh, my gosh. But I, uh, I watched your don't tell set, which is fucking phenomenal. Thanks, man. Go watch everything Derek Shroop has online. It's got a full hour up there from a year ago, but a ton of the great stand-up clips. But you had two DUIs in six months.

Yeah, man. And I say it on state, I say six months because it sounds better than four, Dan. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was a nightmare. Damn, so you got a court-order bike ride. Oh, man, no, it was a night. The first one I got in Alabama, and it was like some real, like, small-town good-old-boy treatment.

Like, they didn't even put me in the jail. They were like, we were just cutting it up. I'm serious. They had pie. They go, you can't drive drunk, man. We're going to get you every time. And then when I got one outside of Atlanta, about four months later, they were pissed. I mean, day and night.

Day and night. I mean, the first one, because I ran the local bar in town. So they kind of already knew me You're the norm of their cheers 100% and they're like You know we're out there What are you doing? What did you?

Were you like blacked out? No on the first one I was the manager of the bar In town and I told my ex Like a hundred times Because we had a My alma mater had a home game that day So it'd been an all day drinking day

So I don't drink anymore But you know Back in the day when you did an all day I was pretty good I was drunk Way too drunk But still pretty late I've eaten a lot of rotel.

I'd had a lot of, you know, pig in the blankets. I'll tell you right now, as a former drinker, people don't understand that to be a good day drinker is to be a good long distance runner. That's right. It's pacing, but you have to keep up a certain pace because if you fall below it, you're going to cramp up. You're out.

It's going to go bad. You go too far. You're going to black out. I'd had a Gatorade or two, like I said, some snacks. So, I mean, I told her several times I couldn't drive, but she put me in her friend's car. I drop them off. I'm coming back to the bar to hang out.

I get pulled over. There was a headlight out. You know, it was one of those, like, I got pulled over. I remember thinking, I can't wait to talk to this guy and find out what I'm in trouble for. And I was hammered. Because you were confident? Yeah, because I was driving perfect.

I mean, I knew that everything was perfect. And he comes up, he's like, you got a headlight out. And I was crushed, man. There's nothing better than white confidence with an authority figure. Oh, man. That's insane. And what did I do wrong? Yeah.

What did I do? I'd like to know. He's like, you're holding a Miller light. I go, besides that. Besides that. Secondary offense, please. Your headlights out, and then you go, I know, exactly. Were you, was it your girlfriend's car?

Her friend's car. Because my car wasn't there. My car wasn't there because I wasn't driving drunk, okay? And I didn't have that plan, but it was one of those things where she didn't want to. You know, looking back, I don't know. I haven't called her about it recently and just been like, so what's your story again? Because I'm rethinking it. I would be doing that every week.

And it doesn't make sense. Yeah. But it was her friend's car, like a forerunner, classic. It was either a Tahoe or a forerunner. We were driving drunken back in the 2000s. But anyways, yeah, I had a headlight out. I'm still friends with that officer till this day. He's a fan of my comedy.

We message each other. It gets even crazier. I'm not going to say his name. He gets in a fight at the bar two weeks later. He beats the hell out of a college kid. And they were already going to let me off. But boy, did I have some leverage. Yeah.

Was that the bar that you managed? Yeah, yeah, so I've got the tape and like of the whole fight that happens, because this is pretty much the only bar in town. I mean, this is the only, Jacksonville, Alabama. There's 5,000 people in the town at the time. Now it's kind of blown up. But anyways, yeah, so I've got some leverage. So they go, hey, what we're going to do is we can't like erase this DUI,

but this will never show up unless you get another DUI. Well, the problem is I did get another one. I mean, four months later. Yeah, you didn't even make it a season. a TV. No, no. It was four months later. You didn't even hit the finale of the season.

No, and when I get this first of you, that day, my mother, she's driving down to, to, like, cook me my favorite meal and hang out. I just gotten a promotion. Like, I'm the general manager of this bar, all this other stuff. So I tell my, I have to, I use my one call out of jail and tell my mom, hey, instead of 10 a.m., can we do 1 p.m.? Because I get out at 12 p.m. on Bell. She comes in.

I have to spend the whole day. She makes homemade vegetable soup, cleans the home. that I had just bought. And she's like, Derek, I just, I never, like, you've turned out so great. Like, this is crazy. And I am just, I mean, I was just in jail. What a day. You're like, hug over and you're like, oh, yeah.

Be crazy if I ever got pulled over. What would you think of me if I ever got a DUI? And she's like, you would break my heart. Yeah. And I go, well, that'll never happen. You know, but I'll always get a ride home. Oh, Ridge Wallet. Oh, I wrote a song for them.

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For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off at Ridge Wallet using code Soter at checkout. Just head to ridge.com, use the code Soter, and you're all set. After your purchase, they're going to ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Thanks. And I really, really, really appreciate that. So the Atlanta one, you're coming off one, but it's a hidden one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a bonus track. Yeah, and the Atlanta one's totally different. I'm the drunkest man on planet Earth My old fraternity brother of mine Got married that night Good guy, great guy, Jake We really celebrated man And so I'm heating up the vehicle

For the same lady That I'd gotten the first one with And so I run out there And I turn on the vehicle As Sprint is what I'm told And I'm out there And the officer comes up And I learn a lot of this later on

And she asks me what I'm doing And I tell her I go, I'm not driving At all, I promise you I just got to D-E I'm just warming up the vehicle. Yeah. And, yeah, well, Dan, that's so illegal to be intoxicated in a running vehicle. Really?

Really? Yeah. And I was in a parking lot. I told her, I go, I was at a wedding. I was at a wedding. I know there's a wedding. She goes, I know there's a wedding. And I go, okay, well, I'm not going to drive.

And she's like, I saw you start the vehicle. You're in the vehicle. And so this thing, it gets crazy, man. I mean, I'm so, I barely remember any of the conversation. I had to learn a lot of it on. video. So I hire. That's tough when they bust out the video. Oh man, I would not let her talk. I had to pee so bad. I wouldn't let her talk. She's like, now let me, I go, can I please pee? She goes, let me tell. I go, I got a piss so bad. My face is hurting. And I mean, I would not quit bringing

it up. So that looked good in court. She pushes, she pushes your stomach to make you, she goes, let me talk and you go, don't do that. Oh, I mean, I'm telling. I was in, I was in, I was in bad shape. But long story short, they take it to court. I hire a lawyer. We go to the distance. My lawyer's very confident. He's like, we're going to nail him for this. Well, the cop, they had me come to seven arraignments, which I've never heard of that. That's the most I've ever heard, seven of them. And they would, and he would always address me never by my name, only as the man from Alabama. And he would bring up and taunt, he would tell the courtroom, he'd go, this gentleman here runs a college bar, second DUI in five months. Is this the type of person that we want

part of our society? As somebody that's, I mean, talking to the court, it was the most lifetime southern movie small town thing i'd ever been part of what if that boy was white he has the time to kill now open your eyes it's yeah it was insane did you want to fight him oh i be i was so frustrated i mean i really got to watch the good old boy system happened in per seven arraignments dan so i would drive to cartersville georgia i mean time after time watching just hammer people for nothing over and over and then he'd always bring it and we got the man from alabama here today Uh, college bar, uh, likes to drink and drive. How about that? I mean, had like a foghorn leghorn. He goes, now here, now here we got the, uh, the man from Alabama. Oh, my God. I mean, he was like out of a movie, man. And then he, it would be funnier if you found out that he dropped the accent. Oh, yeah. Then he goes, anyways, I think that was, that really helped. I love that the accent brings effect. You know what I mean? Like, it feels like death penalty, even though it's not on the table. Who's on the dog? Oh, hold on. The man from Alabama. I mean, really. I mean, really. Now, here's a man that believes children should be touched by adults.

And you go, I've never even said that. Why would you even put that in there? Here's a man who says burning the flag is good for heat. And you're like, you aren't just painting this shit. I'm telling you. It celebrates the loss of Vietnam, which I fought in. Yeah. If you're picturing Colonel Sanders, you're nailing it.

I mean, that's what I have 11 spices that'll blow your mind. I mean, that's what was going on. And so they are a little mad that we're pushing back. My lawyer, he was a young guy. Well, also you have a case. I have a case. So what they do is they go, the DA says, if we take this to a jury, which we wanted to, they go, we would like to have maximum penalties if he is guilty.

So we would like to do two years in prison if he's found guilty. So what they, so we step out of the courtroom. This is really like, I mean, he's talking to me. He's like, here's what they, he goes, they're trying to scare you all. Yeah. They go because they don't want to. Me and I already know the situation's over. He goes, they don't want to go to trial.

And I go, either do I. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. You've already paid me all this money. He goes, we're going to win this case. We've talked about this. We've got the evidence. She, you know, he's going down the line. And I go, you're not the one that could do two years.

I go, I'm not doing two years in prison. I said, I'll take all the fines. I'll take everything else they want to give me. I'm not going to, I'm not going to jail. Because, I mean, I was at home just watching locked up like a psychopath. Like doing push-up. This was a different stoop. I was in the floor doing push-ups.

Your mom comes in. you're just sharpening a toothbrush? I mean, and you go, I think the proper shift technique, I want to go up and into the neck. Yes. So,

oh my God, so you're freaking yourself out. Oh, yeah, yeah, and I'm not going through with this. I'm not going to try to, I'm not going to try to fight it.

So I just, I take all the fines, I take all the probation. They take my license, all of that. And you're exactly right earlier. I was so mad. I was,

even though I had caused this situation. I mean, I don't really even, knowing what it is now. Yeah. I don't fucking blame you I mean I I I you know many times I've been at parties and been drunk and gone and sat in someone's car and turned on the radio and smoked the cigarette yeah yeah I've never

without driving yeah sometimes I just want to go sit somewhere when I'm drunk and be like I just want to listen to a song and cry absolutely I have some sad beers yeah yeah yeah no and and you're right but in hindsight man it's like some type of fate or something I can remember sitting in the apartment that I was being actively evicted in uh where you know I had lost all my money I was truly homeless bouncing couch to couch picking up cigarettes outside of McDonald's and smoking them down riding a bicycle

and I remember and I have always I've always wanted to state this out loud because I remember going there's no way that things are this bad and there's not something insane about to happen in my life because nothing made sense what test is this? Yeah I go I go it's gotten too crazy something good's happening

you know I'm outside of a McDonald's people are like no here's a dollar This is why he's doing it. Yeah. But I knew. I go, man, this is nuts. This doesn't make. And that's kind of when I started dreaming of moving out west. And, you know, here's a good, the ex that I had at the time.

She moved to Denver to be a massage therapist. She went to school out there. And that's what brought me there. And she was like, I think he would love it out here. The people are great. You know, in Denver, as you know, it's a great place to re-invent yourself, start a new life. I mean, it is, you know, I, When I grew up there in the 80s and 90s,

it was like still kind of a small town. It was a city, but it had like a small town feel to it. It just had different parts. And then like this boom of people moving there because I think people really did see the value in. Yeah. I could start a new life in Colorado.

It's affordable. Everyone's nice. It's beautiful. Good city. Yeah. And so there became all these people. Absolutely. That moved there.

And there were the only people that I had a problem with was when I would come back. Because I left Denver when I was, I left Aurora. when I was 18 and I moved to Tucson to go to school. And when I would come back, people would do this thing where they would like act like they loved Colorado more than me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go, I could never leave. And it's like, well, you're from fucking a shit town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I grew up here. I mean, I love it, but don't act like I fucking abandon it. No, no, no, no. You're like, I left to go do something else.

But I get, when people move there, I'm always like really happy for them. Yeah, yeah. It's a great place. My buddy, Al Jackson, hilarious. Yeah. He moved to Denver, and it's like, I love that he lives there. I forget that he's there.

Yeah, for sure. Oh, dude, yeah, go to Denver. Denver's great. The scene's great. Great comedy scene. The people are great. The food's touch and go, but you'll figure it out. You just got to know where to go.

If you like green chili, it's great. It's on everything. It's on everything. Love green chili. It's, if you pretend that you're in a wagon camp, the food is phenomenal. Oh, absolutely. And thank you. I got so much pushback because I was telling him, I was like,

your food here is not great it's not it's not it's not great and i know people will get mad at me yeah grew up there but i remember catching that when i would go to san francisco to visit my that's where my dad yeah yeah yeah what a food city and what a food city yeah yeah yeah you come back to denver and you go it's all right yeah and they go it's this and then i moved here and i was like oh yeah it's always even even moving to tucson i saw the best mexican food i've ever had in my life absolutely And let me tell you, Denver doesn't give itself enough credit for what it's good at. And this is what, my opinion. Micro brew.

Okay, well, yeah, the strongest beer in the country, at altitude. What a blessing. I mean, turn me into a super soldier. Oh, yeah, 21% alcohol. It's called the devil's dick. Let's do it. I mean, that's insane. I mean, the home of the leg cramp.

Yeah, I used to train on fat tire and whiskey when I was growing up there. The beer there is so, I mean, I, you know, I quit drinking while I was there. And partly it was because I missed having 11 cores lights. and telling old stories. Yeah. There you have three IPAs and you go, I'm going home. You know?

There is nothing better than taking someone who's never been to Colorado and watching them drink. It's the best. I had an ex-girlfriend that I took home for Christmas and she was from the East Coast

and I was like, listen, watch, my family loves to drink. I just recently quit drinking. And I told her I was like, my family loves a drink at this Christmas party. Be careful. And she was like, they don't understand it.

They don't get it. They do not understand it. They don't get it. I think I remember specifically two glasses of wine. And then my mom was like, are you a martini girl? I'm a martini girl. My mom had a fucking vodka martini. And the girl's date was blacked out. Like we went to a bar and I was like, yo, you're like called.

Do you remember her being in my friend's car and she was in shotgun? Yeah. My friend's driving and she changed the radio station. And my best, one of my oldest best friends goes, don't do that. Yeah. She was just, like, blacked out. That is so great. Anyway, don't do that.

Don't do that. Oh, no. Then we took her to a bar downtown and she was like blackout and you're like, oh. I mean, I would have friends come visit. They wouldn't stand to chance. I used to love to walk around living downtown, October Fest. Yeah. You just see somebody face down.

I'd go, give it up for Des Moines, Iowa, everybody. Thanks for visiting. But what you don't understand is when you drink there after a while, you become, it's the reason the Olympic training centers at Colorado's, Dude, 100%. You become a superhuman. You do. I would go down, I remember the first time, I love going to Pensacola and I go a couple

times. I went to Pensacola from Denver. Yeah. I was a, I mean, I was a superhero just kicking people off of stools. I'm like, I've been drinking on a mountain, my man. They thought when I moved to Tucson and started drinking, they thought I was a 60-year-old non-vette. The way that I drank, they would be like, how are you putting this away?

And you're like, I don't know how you guys are such big pussies. It really does. That muscle is. it's crazy and people who grow up there don't really realize no that's why there's a lot of deaths drinking deaths of Colorado State dude which used to be I don't know if that's still a thing but when I was in college the six kids a year or something yeah yeah yeah die of drinking at Colorado State and it's like oh they were out of town kids yeah that moved to Fort Collins and Fort Collins is mainly flat you were like pretty close you can see the mountains yeah

you don't realize how high up oh absolutely no it it and it sneaks up when you first move there you think everybody's holding a now gene bottle to look cool i go what a dumb accessory yeah didn't take long before i go i need a now gene bottle you know what water all the time no man and and but it's a good practice i mean i still drink a good bit of water to this day because when i first moved there i got a kidney stone within like five months i was working at big lots doing overnights in the warehouse drinking white monsters like four at a time she not drinking any water because i'd never been at altitude got a kidney stone, you know, no insurance, just bit a towel and passed that thing. Really?

True story, big dog. I called my mother. I called my mom. I go, mom, I think I have a kidney stone. I was pacing, holding my back. And she, I like tell her my, she goes, Derek, you're 30 years old. You don't have a kidney stone. And then she did her little Google search.

And she called me back. I'll never forget it. And she goes, hey, honey, I need you to be tough for me tonight, okay? And I'll never forget that. I could have, I wish she'd never said anything. A Southern mom. I'm wishing you that is so scary. I just want you to just trust in God.

Yeah. And you go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't hang up, don't hang up. What does that mean? What does that mean? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah.

How long did it take you to pass the kidney stuff? I mean, I think like six or seven hours. I was drinking water to the point to, I mean, just, and then cranberry juice, water, cranberry juice. And I can remember passing it. But, I mean, I was just, I eventually passed out in the bed just covered and, I mean, the bed was just drenched. Sure.

And I was just laying there and I woke up about, I mean, probably after I passed it, probably like eight or nine hours later, I woke up. I was, I, the closest I'll ever get, I'm assuming to birth. That's what I've heard. You know what I'm seeing. Did you see how big the rock was? Yeah, and it was tiny and it was like a boomerang shaped. And it was like thin.

But that went through the urethra. Yeah, yeah, it was tiny, tiny. I did actually see it. Yeah, and it was tiny. Can I ask, because I've always been interested about this about kidney stones. When you pass it, Is it similar to the relief of a dump? Or what's the, what is it?

Is it just like... Mine wasn't like that huge relief for huge pain. I had just drank so much water. Mine kind of was like, like the, the, the, and then blah, you know, and it just kind of, and I could tell by the stream that I had like... Passed something. Something had, yeah, and I looked down there and it was like swirling and then set on the bottom of the...

But I was done. I didn't like fish it out or like I looked at it. You just went and laid down. Yeah, I looked at it really hard. You know, here I am over the toilet. I'm like, looking at it. And then I like, I flesh shit. I was so exhausted.

And plus, I couldn't believe I was 30 years old and passed a kidney stone. Yeah, well. I was like, my God. Because I was just pounding those, I mean, those monsters, man. They had me in a headlock. Monster energy is the, I'm so lucky I never liked the taste of it. Yeah. I worked at, uh, I used to do receiving at bed bath and beyond.

Yeah. But I would work overnights at the radio station. So I'd be up until like two in the morning, three in the morning and then have to be at bed bed bath and beyond by like 745. So I would sleep only a couple hours And that's when I started going like Well, drink Monster Energy Like the guys in the warehouse would drink Monster Energy

And I'd be like and I hated the taste And that's when I started drinking coffee That was when I was like all right Well I'm gonna do coffee cream sugar And then that was the first time of my life I ever got I was I had been smoking since I was 12 But the mix of coffee and cigarettes And I was like this is why they do this

Yeah yeah yeah That first time where I got into coffee And I was like oh Yeah yeah yeah You're like, oh, baby. Yeah, I smoked for a few years for sure. I mean, being in the bar business, you have to. Yeah, yeah, you don't get any breaks unless you have a cigarette.

Cigarettes are the way to get out of any restaurant or bar job. Yeah, yeah. And also, I had roommates my whole life, and you're not going to sit out on the porch and come up with great ideas without me. No. I'm going to be on that porch. I'm not going to hear laughter while I'm playing Xbox through the wall. I'm going to be part of the conversation. And there's, uh, you, when you smoke with a roommate, you live with a certain level of gross that you post a,

both accept for sure i remember i lived with uh my friend mike and chad two guys from aurora i grew up with but we lived in tucson together and from one of those college bars on uh fourth avenue we took a university of arizona blood light basketball bucket yeah so we were like drinking beers and i did that thing when we were like four buckets in where i was like yeah yeah and i put it under my chair but it became our cigarette butt thing and we lived together and we filled it with cigarette butts And I remember being like, that's disgusting. I've seen so many of those in my life. I was just disgusting.

Right on the porch, right by the door. Yeah, it was like, usually outside. It was on our patio in between two chairs. Can you believe at one point in our life, we thought it was so cool that it was filling up a cigarette? Yes, we're so stuck. I was like, we're going to fill this to the top. I remember bringing girls home in Tucson and being like, eh?

Yeah. Pretty cool little spot. Come on in. That's a little thing called commitment. Yeah. If you're looking for me, check out the Arizona basketball bucket filled the cigarette, but that's commitment. That is so great.

Just letting you know, I'm not going anywhere. Yeah. That shows you. Yeah, that shows you. That shows you the character of a man I am. But when you moved to Denver, are you like, what were you expecting out of Colorado? Were you expecting it to be all mountains?

Well, the first thing I think you get surprised about, speaking for myself, is the weather is way better than you could ever imagine. Ever imagine. Ever imagine. It's the best. It's still the bad. I miss it. I just went back.

Yeah. I did, I'd go to L.A. for some stuff. Yeah. And then I went and hung out with my friends at his house in the, in Breck and Reck and Oh, my gosh. And when I landed, I put on a hoodie and I was like, oh, this is, it's like, you know, when they find a fish and then they put it slowly in water and then you sit there. That's how I felt.

What a description. I was like, oh, my goodness. I like put my hoodie on and I was like, ooh, it's crisp. Goodness. Oh, it's crisp and it's fucking August. It's so. No humidity. No humidity.

Which you're coming from fucking Alabama. No, man. I went from being inside of people's mouths to being outside. It was unbelievable. I couldn't believe it. You know how much confidence it gives a big guy when you take away sweat? When you take away sweat?

Oh my God. It's like taking acne from a 16-year-old. You can't stop me. Oh, find yourself, Angus. Oh, my God. Find yourself. And no, what I thought is everybody was going to be riding an elk covered in snow, okay?

And the weather was great. The people were much better than I thought. I don't know what I expected, but there was this bunch of cool people in Denver. Some of my favorite people I've met. Yeah, you're going to get more fleece than you realize. Yeah, yeah. And you're going to get a lot of, uh, of people on bikes. Yeah. But for health reasons, not because of DUI reasons like you were coming from.

I was blending right in. Yeah, yeah. And it's a scooter city now, which elevated my life. I mean, I'm going to doctor appointment. Me and Alyssa, we'd go to steak dinners. We go to Bastian. I love that. I'd be on a lime scooters. I'm going to get the rib eye. Yeah. The worst part I tell people about the scooters was getting groceries because I'd be driving home. I'd have like five bags on each handle, jug of milk between my legs. I mean, people thought I was struggling. I was doing decent. One of my favorite internet videos of recent that a couple people on Instagram have tagged me in is that there is a couple with a scooter. They're on a lime scooter. And it's a guy and then a girl's behind him. And then she's got a newborn in a thing on the scooter. And

they said, only in Aurora, Colorado. And it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm from South Aurora, but I was like, shout out. Shout out Chambers and Sable. You're probably going through some shit and I see you. I see you. Chambers in Mississippi, getting nuts. Dude, it is. It is traveling the country. There's nowhere that has embraced scooters like Denver, Colorado.

Because it's, I had a joke in my HBO special about the accent is like an X-Games accent. Yeah. Where they're just all like, What's up, dude? We're going to fucking throw this bike off the thing. They're always looking for like some sort of extreme. game. Every, I can tell who's a native of Denver by how they ride a scooter because they don't

take the ramp, they jump the curb. Oh yeah, they just jump back up. It's a snowboard, bro. Yeah. Ah, man, I'm gonna fucking probably go rip it up at A Basin, but first got to take scoots down and go get some new ports. Aurora was the only place I knew where there was like dudes who wanted to be black but also were snowboarders.

Oh, that's, I think that's the exact demographic. Aurora. Yeah, yeah. Guys who snowboard who also think they're black. Yeah. wearing ginko jean i'm like is that three six months yeah love tech nine yeah just can't get enough tech nine and they're fucking ride scooters dude i absolutely love it and it is a place where like people always ask me would you ever move back to colorado no yeah because i love visiting so

yeah yeah yeah yeah i love living in new york but i love going back and being like i miss this yeah and then i hit a point where i go okay i do miss new york yeah yeah yeah the conveniences of new york city do you miss alabama i was about to say i feel the exact same way about Alabama. I don't think I'd ever move back, but I love visiting it, especially where I'm from. It's just such a great area.

The food, I miss the food so much, the people. Yeah. What about West Virginia? Do you ever go back to West Virginia? I mean, no, but I often, and I'm not even like, I don't even make that much money,

but I'm constantly on Zillow going, I could buy some stuff in this state. Hey, sorry, West Virginia. You're very affordable. I'll tell you, Zillow for anybody, if you're feeling down and out, but you have a little bit of money that you scrolled away,

Just go pick a rural-ass town and zillow your budget. You will feel better. You feel. I'll be on the road and I'll be like, Katie, I just found a house in like fucking Utah that we could buy three of. It's the best. Yeah. Yeah, but no, West Virginia, I never, in hindsight,

I don't think my mom ever knew that moving from West Virginia to Alabama would have been such a, you know, an upgrade in hindsight. What a Sophie's choice. Yeah, yeah. West Virginia or Alabama, you go, so I'm not reading either way. Either way, I'm illiterate. You've got to think. I mean, when we moved there in like 92, everybody was like, all right, so what's with

the lateral move? You know what? You're just going to the side. Yeah. What made you guys move from West Virginia? My dad got a job. My grandfather started a company in Huntsville. Okay.

And it was great. And it changed our lives. Was Huntsville back in the 90s? It was still like the NASA? Yeah, it was way more, even more NASA back then. Which is got to be cool. It was much smaller. Now, you know, Huntsville is the biggest city in the state.

Birmingham, by far, was, and even Montgomery back then. It was very rural. Like, I grew up around a lot of cotton fields. Sure. And I didn't realize how weird that was to the rest of the world until I moved to Colorado. Well, yeah. And I went, hey, I lived by a cotton field. And they go, oh, cool, we're on stolen land.

Yeah, yeah. No, they would go, well, and, you know, they wouldn't talk to me anymore. I never realized how, yeah. No, no, no. Dan, I wish you could put a GoPro on me and watch me bring up living by Cottonfields in Alabama. to just people I mean I don't do it anymore like and I didn't just throw it out all the time I wouldn't be like well you know cotton's pretty good I don't I don't really know how you take it off the plant I guess and everyone goes everyone wants to look away there's one part I haven't figured out what did he do before Eli Whitney you know I don't know yeah but no it really was it was just cotton fields and NASA back then but that's interesting you say that about the cotton fields

especially when you're bringing up Colorado yeah because something that I've known That I've known the way you feel uncomfortable about or people in Colorado would feel uncomfortable about you talking about growing up around cotton fields is like when I explained to people on the East Coast that when I was growing up in Aurora and there's these all these fields like now they're housing developments. Yeah, yeah. But when I was a kid, there was a lot of fields. You would find arrowheads. Legit arrowheads. And people on these coast would be like, what do you mean? You're like, it's from a fucking Native American.

This was like from a tribe. Yeah. And it would be not that far in the dirt. Yeah. Because however many years ago. Absolutely. And people are going like, whoa, okay. It's the same kind of, it's like that historical bummer.

Absolutely. Ha! So this was someone else's house. Yeah, yeah. In Alabama, there's, I found a lot of arrowheads because of so much plowed land around. Yeah, sure. We would find them. But I'd never met like real Native Americans until I moved to Colorado.

Yeah. Like, the first time in my life had met them, I worked with a guy, Native American, Rappahoe, awesome dude. But first, it was like the Dave Chappelle bit. It really was. He's like, I met him at a Walmart in New Mexico. Yeah, yeah, I threw a piece of trash on the ground. A tear ran down his eye. I go, oh.

I said, what tribe of you? He said, I am an alcoholic. That's like one of the best. That's for what it's worth. Yeah. That's one of my favorite specials. Yeah, yeah. But that's really for me.

And I got, you know, and I got, I became friends with this guy. It was a sports authority. And I remember I wanted to bring up that I was a lifelong Redskins fan. Okay. So I bring it up to him and I go, hey, I want you know, because we'd be, we had a good rapport. and he knew that I wasn't coming from a malicious place. Sure.

And I go, hey, what do you think? I've been a Redskins fan. What do you think about this name? This is in 2015. Sure. And he's like, you know, I really, I don't have a huge problem with it. He said, in my area, we feel like it's some representation. Sure.

And he goes, and, you know, I know it bothers some tribes and some people, but he goes, I don't see you. And I go, I go, I knew it, man. That's what I'm talking about. And I promise, he stopped. He goes, I'll be honest, your reaction made me. he'd kind of hate it. And he was like, and he didn't laugh. You want to talk about dead pants.

Oh, dude. Yeah. Well, they're very, they're very, they can, like, what's interesting is if you read enough books about Native Americans, which I became fascinated with it when I got older, because when you realize, like, he was Arapaho. Yeah. What people don't realize is everything is named Arapaho when you grow up in Denver and you go. Oh, it is.

It's like one of the main roads. Yeah, Arapho Road. Yeah. Rappo Crossing were the movie theater, the Chinese man, or Rappo and Parker. But you don't realize it's like name for the people that used to live there. Yes. So if you go, this is Doug Street, you go, we killed Doug. Yeah.

That's Doug Street. Yeah, yeah, but we gave him a street name. So did we kill Doug? Come on. Everyone knows the good times off Doug Street. Yeah. But you're exactly right. But what's interesting is when you read about him, Native Americans listen.

They would like listen and then form opinions before they speak. Absolutely. But white guys, we thought they were just being disrespectful. Yep. We're like, why are you just staring at us? And they're like, no, they're actually thinking about their response. Taking a second, putting their emotions to the side and going, I'm going to try to make a level ahead. White guys are like, say something to us.

I want it all! I want it all! And they're like, I was just thinking that was pretty fucked up. Yeah, exactly. That's so funny, though. He's like, man, your reaction really made me. Oh, made him hate it. Made him hate it.

Yeah, yeah. And then our, I mean, our relationship was decent after that, but it wasn't the same. Yeah. I gave, I got two. too excited. I go, I knew it. I go, and I like the name. The helmets are classic, right? You hate it now? Okay. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah. I mean, it is one of those things where when American history is right in your face and you don't realize it. You go like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So playing Cowboys and Indians, it's a little different for you guys growing up than it was for us. Totally different.

But it is, I mean, I think living in from Alabama to Colorado, you had that great line where you're like I got to see time travel in real time from, from fun. fucking plowing horses, the plugging in cars. Yeah, literally. What's interesting about Denver is it does have this like very liberal, you know, people are very earth conscious. There is like a big liberal, and then you go outside of it and you're like.

No, it changes. Brother, it's farmers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Immediately going like, I don't, no one come near my land. Yeah, yeah. No one comes. Which made comedy in that regard pretty fun because you got, you know, the best of both worlds, you know, you'd go do a mountain show.

And it was going to be very red. Sure. very red and then you would you know do a Denver show and you know Dan I really I'm thankful I went to Denver I didn't like plan this out and didn't know it was going to work out the way but Denver made me right very smart oh there's no there's no punching down or low hanging fruit in Denver that scene and those people it's a phenomenal scene yeah yeah guys that have been a part of it you know um as far as my life goes like the grawlicks guys like Adam kate and hall and Ben Roy over at all Andrew over at all but then also like the gentleman the fine gentleman's club sam talent chris sharpity uh david borey like all these guys and they just do a good job of like setting up the next class yeah and wendy does a great job at comedy works absolutely of keeping it like the scene you know what i mean yeah no she's she's great and all those guys inspired me uh john novasad um who's been there forever yeah he was somebody i really looked up to very funny and i and i i remember coming up seeing guys like troy baxley and guys that i

like loved that I was like Troy was a killer yeah I still talk to him yeah and um and just seeing him being like I would come to Denver and be like and I wasn't in the Denver scene I started in Tucson yeah so I come back to Denver and I'm just like oh you guys got a good you guys built a great thing where I live the indie scene there is so strong yeah I mean every there there's shows everywhere you turn and it's just and it's just the the people there are what make you write smart it's a very progressive smart city so you can't get away with with any of the punching down do you visit ever um no i i don't i'm just too busy to visit yeah and and i have a doctor that i go there i kind of tie in visits with every three months or so but uh no i don't i i don't like consciously

visit hopefully one day you know my schedules you like living here i love it yeah i love it's great it's the best it's the great and you're a story i love doing comedy here yeah i love living here when i'm at the airport and my gate says i'm going to new york to go home i go man that is cool as That's, you know what? That is the bad. You're going, hey, that's crazy, dude. You know, you're going to Lincoln. That's crazy.

I'm going to New York. I've made this point. I don't think I've done a good job of putting it right in the right words. But like, he's from Queens. And people I know that are from New York, what a great city to grow up in and have all this stuff. But there's an appreciation, kind of like what you're talking about of Denver, of the way that I appreciate New York moving here. Because I just like, and also there's these moments where you're like,

I'm in New York City. Yeah. Like I'm in one of the most legendary cities of all time. Up there with Rome, up there with fucking hanging gardens of Babylon. Like you're like up there with like an all time city. And what I love about it is it just, if it fits your personality, it fits your personality. Yeah. There's people that I know that move here that don't like it.

It's too crowded. There's not enough space. It doesn't, it moves too fast. Like my mom's visited and she's been like, I love that you live here. I don't like living. I don't like visiting here. It gives me anxiety. Yeah. She's older. She can't move as fast. Yeah. But I'm like, dude, it just hit my, it's like a thing where I love it. I love staying inside. But I love the way the comedy works. Yeah. I'm just going to be able to do a bunch of stuff. You can do a bunch of stuff in a day and still have time. Absolutely. And I mean, for me, you know, coming, I didn't move here unless I knew I was going to be passed by the comedy seller. And that, that place has helped me tremendously. So fun. Doing sets there. I, you know, and people, it's not about the audiences. It's not about the audiences. It's. It's

It's your peers. Yeah. You never want to melt in. It's also who you get to watch. Yeah. What I like about the seller is you get to see old school guys that are phenomenal that are inspiring and then you see younger comics that you're like, whoa, fuck. Yeah.

That guy's really good. Yeah, it makes you want to write more. Makes you want to because you see what. But yeah, the city is great. The food is great. Astoria is you got. Yeah, Astoria, it's crazy. I'll trip and fall and do a beautiful sandwich.

There's an episode. I think it was like Bourdain did an episode and it was just Queens. Yeah. Like, he was like, you can just go to everywhere in Queens and find everything. Easily. Like the best lay ocean food. You can find the best fucking anything you need. Yeah.

My question is you were doing your, he said your dad was a bill. Yeah. Is your dad still around? Yeah. Is he billing it? Oh, dude, he's billing it so much. Because I wonder if me and Big Jay always used to joke, we were raised, we had shitty dads that abandoned us. Yeah, yeah.

I have one of those two. Bill is a great stepdad. Oh, that is. Yeah, yeah. I don't know my bylaw. father. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a real comedian. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If this was 600 years ago, the way that

they would do the Spartan rituals, where they would find a boy and give them to the Spartans? That's what it's like with us, where they go, clowns, here, a boy without a father. Exactly. And they go, I'll teach him how to mock everything. That's exactly right. No, no. So you don't, so Bill isn't your bylaws. No, no, he's my stepdad. He's been my stepdad in my whole life. Love it. When did they get married? How old are you? When they got married, I was nine. And they met when I was like six.

Do you have brothers and sisters? Yeah, I got a younger brother and a younger sister, Will and Sarah. So you're the oldest? I'm the oldest. I'm 16 years older than my sister, 12 years older than my brother. So they're Bill's biologicals. They are. Yeah. So you were an only child when you met Bill. Yeah, I was an only child until I was 12. Yeah. So you, that counts. You grew up an only child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. That's the same with Jay. Yeah. Jay was like 11 when they had his little sister. And you're like, no, no, no, you're a only child yeah i mean i spent you did your developing without anyone there without anybody my mom said she'd walked by the bedroom it sounded like there were seven people in there yeah that's

exactly that same with me yeah when you met bill what were your first did you was it smooth sailing the whole time well the very first time we ever met he was picking my mom up for a date it was like in 1990 something like that and back then invisible ink was really popular i remember that so i was running around in my little whitey tides and my mom said he walked up and he shot me with the invisible ink. And when I looked down and I saw the ink on my underwear, she said that I, she had never seen me lose my mind. She said, I essentially tried to run up the wall. I couldn't believe this man just walked in and sprayed me with something on my underwear that I could never get out. And then when it disappeared, she said I took it to another left. Now it was, now it was

voodoo. What source word did you bring in our house? She said, I'm like in there like, ah, get this bad out of here. And the poor bill is like, man, I thought this invisible ink would really set things off. I thought that this would lead to, you know, something really fun for I'd get a little invisible ink. Hey, what a kid. I was just trying to get you a little, like, in my mail. Hey, hey, hey, what's up, big dog?

No, no, I was banging my head off the cabinet. Yeah, I lost my mind. He's just looking at your mom. Like, what the fuck? And you're like, you should have shot him with the ink. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly. But no, our, our relationship was great. He was a great dad.

I mean, his temperament and how he is is the complete opposite of me. He's very quiet, very laid back. My mother is the emotional, you know. Would that ever... When he would be quiet and angry, would that be terrifying? No, no, it would just drive me crazy because I wanted communication. And I would like mock him from the other room and he would just drive him. I'd be like, hey, mom, should we sit in here and just sigh really loud?

Just... That's good. And, you know, because I'm 13 and my wit is further than what the check my ass can, you know, you know. You know, so... Being out of your depth. Being out of your depth. depth with your mom's boyfriend when you're a teenager is something special yeah and then I mean he became you know he's the dad but I mean it was I made his life really you know in hindsight I really

try to take care of Bill these days I made his life tough yeah I was not easy on that man at all just talking back mocking him like I mean and and he would lose his mind every once in a while but it didn't matter with me you have a different um you know I don't know if this is an obvious question or not, but do you have a different relationship with him than Will and Sarah? 100%. Like, they're more like, Dad, and you're like, Bill. Yeah. No, no, you nailed it.

He's Bill, and he's dad to them, but it's also, I mean, I'm sitting here acting like I was talking back. My dad would not handle any of that nonsense. He's a very stern dude, and he was way harder on me than he was to them. I would be like, oh, whatever. And, I mean, he'd be like, oh, what? And he'd lose his mind. My younger brother would be like, Dad, that's so lame, man.

And every day you're like, lame, lame, lame. And he would just smoke a cigarette and walk away. And I go, what's that? What I got, you know? My favorite joke about that is Nate's joke about the oldest sibling versus the youngest sibling. He wasn't allowed to say, sucks. Yeah. And she got a tattoo with the parents.

I mean, it was. That's always to me as someone without that grew up just completely an only child. Yeah. I love that bit because you're like, that's fascinating to me. Yeah. How much different your relationship with was Bill versus Will and Sarah who were like, dad stop yeah bill's like i swear to god derrick yeah no and and my dad is my stepdad is not a big dude at all he's like five seven okay so i was taller than him in like the eighth grade so we were

already i mean we were we were passing each other in the hallway and he'd be like hey buddy i pay the power bill big dog you know and i'm like i didn't say anything to you you know what i mean i'm like i didn't say anything my mom's boyfriend had a he was bald but he had a coldusack yeah so he had the hair and um me and my friend Byron were in the back seat and we were driving back from the mountains because in Colorado, people don't know this but in Colorado, you just drive up to the mountains.

Yeah, just drive up to it. I never appreciated it. Yeah, I hated it. Because my mom and her boyfriend would be like, we're going to go up to like Conifer. We're going to go to like Georgetown and I'd be like, I don't want to fucking go to the mountains. But last week, when I went back last week, I was like, on the phone with her just being like, it's beautiful. And she's like, shut up. And then I'd lose the call. But we were driving back from the mountains.

and we took turns touching where his bald met his head. Oh, my goodness. And giggle, 13 years old. Yeah. Just touching it being like, and then just touching it. And then it's that moment where you break him. Oh. My mom and I still talk about it.

It was on 225, right by the damn road, right before the Parker exit. And he pulled over on the side and turned around and fucking screamed at it. I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? I'm driving. you're touching my fucking head and then I looked over and my mom's not trying to laugh my mom's like like that and I was like okay so it is funny yeah because we were going boop we were just like touching his head but I remember him that step that like mom's boyfriend stepped that energy of like I fucking got it yeah yeah get it out Dan I have such a similar story me and my best friend

Jeremy Williams he took us fishing grew up going fishing with my dad it was like my favorite we go out on the boat we're like 15 years old and we keep messing with the I don't know why we're laughing uncontrollably. I mean, back then it was like truly like laughing gas. Well, you have the elements of you're not supposed to laugh. Yes. Your best friend is laughing and it's funny. 15 years old. True story.

Let me tell you this. He goes, if y'all knocked that can of worms over one more time, I swear to God, I mean, bills lose, I'm never taking y'all fishing again. So help me, God. Jeremy goes, just knocks it over. Like a cat. No, he gets in the boat. we drive 80 miles per hour to the dock he puts that boat in the back of the trailer we drive home

I have not been fishing with him since no way I'm 40 no I'm 40 no 25 years no I have not been on that boat no I have not been on that we've gone fishing at the beach we've we've done it up here I never got on that boat again and I mean I will never forget that for the rest of my life were you quiet on the ride back like did you did it get serious because when they get mad you get serious you have to go like tears of we just couldn't keep it to me and jeremy had been best we're best friends to this day third grade we have laughed in situations like this yeah it's the worst it's the worst i mean basketball other things but i mean he said i will never take you out on this boat again stood by it i have not he's a great stepdad by

he's selling the boat right now he's had it for 30 years so he he he won i never got on it again he meant it he meant it believe people when they tell you who they are bill doesn't play games Bill's like, you're never going fishing on this boat again. You go, yeah, right. I can remember going down 80 miles, as fast as this boat would go. He was still trying to smoke a cigarette. And I remember thinking, how mad do you have to be? Yeah, to be like.

Just, it's not even work. And he's just, I'm eventually, I think he was just like, just ate it. And it's like, just a boat going back. Like, ha, la la la la la. I promise. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah. Just trying to get some sort of relief.

So mad. Could you imagine a 15? Not even your son. The kid just knocks it over in front of you, and you're like, oh, you think, you think I'm playing game. But you can't hurt them. You think I'm playing, yeah, you can't. And you want, now that I'm this age, I go, oh, I would have wanted, I would have built it better than me. I would have flipped the button.

I know. I would have gone, hey, dog, you think this is, I'm going to beat your ass on me. I'm going to take two 15-year-olds to the bottom of the lake. Yeah. Under each arm. Yeah. I'm jumping in and I'm taking you guys to the very bottom. And, you know, and I can remember being aware enough to even know then that Bill loved my mom so much.

because I was not easy. And that was like my favorite thing about him. Still is to this day probably is he's always been a great husband and a great man to my mom. And that's like most of the grade. You know, me. That's really all it is. That's really all it is.

You're the side. I'm the side. And he's always, they've always had a great relationship. I mean, almost, you know. When he sees you do stand up and you talk about him. Yeah. Does he talk about it with you? Um, a little bit.

But he, you know, it's one of those things where my mom has to be like, no, he likes when you do that, honey. He thinks it's funny. So she gives you the real intel. Yeah, because he never compliments me, like, directly like that. Like, he's not like that. He's very proud of me, but that's stuff that shit. It's through my mom.

And also, you know, without, you know, he didn't know that this was going to happen. He would probably, if he was doing a podcast and he was being honest, he'd go, let me tell you all, Derek Strupe, never saw that shit coming. Never saw it coming. He goes, Stacy, you tell you, I told her, if he's a manager, of a retail store, we did pretty good. I mean, but especially when you talk about the two DUIs. Yeah. You're right?

You get the two DUIs back to back. You moved to Denver. Yeah. Did you start in Denver or did you start comedy in Alabama? I started at the bar that I ran. So you're doing like open mics. Yeah, but I would just put myself up. Like I didn't, I would just do like an hour completely blackout.

Yeah. And it wasn't funny. I mean, people tell me it was all right, but I would just do an hour. I would take like seven Jaeger bombs, four or five bourbons and I would get up there and I would just ride some lightning you know what's really fun about that is if someone tried to do that with music yeah how much more ridiculous that would look if you didn't know how to play a guitar and you're just going like oh i'm thinking about love i love love now i'm sad people are like shut the fuck up yeah you're like oh i'm sad and now i'm happy yeah that's what you do with comedy yeah my first open

mic uh me um PCP my friend sully just sat out my dodged stratus in tucson and i drank a 40 and smoked like a joint of shitty weed and I was like, I'm going and talk. Yeah, that's exactly. And I was winning and talked. Yeah. And then I bombed like six. For me, running a bar, I was just,

it was just country music every night. And I like country music fine, but I was like, if I hear a wagon wheel again, I'm going to kill myself, you know. So I would just, and what I would do is I would also that same night, I'd make pictures a dollar. Yeah. I was a draw.

Oh, I love it. Yeah, the place was. I love it. I'm the general manager. And I would post on Facebook. I'd go, another sold out room for your boy. Crazy. I guess they can't get enough. Also, 50-cent shooters until I'm going to tell my set's over. I mean, that's almost a situation where you want hecklers. Because then you're showing the generic, like, reason of why you're funny. You're like, this is just my sense of humor instead of, like, them seeing you don't know how to write a bit. Yeah. I would just get up there and rant, essentially, just with no punchlines. So you quit drinking in Colorado. And then you come back. Have you done a show in Jacksonville? Alabama since?

Like 2018, so not like, not any time super, super recent. But yeah. It's always interesting when you come home

and you're better at it. I don't think they expect that. Yeah, no, they don't. I mean, and, you know,

going to Birmingham and Huntsville, you also burn some people in the beginning because they come watch you too early. That is, then they never come back. So that is such a fantastic point that I try to talk to people

about, up. What fucked me specifically was I move Aurora to Tucson, start stand up in Tucson, Tucson to New York, work on stand up. So the first time I come to Denver, people's expectations are like, he's going to be awesome. Yeah. She's been in New York. Yeah. But I'm only four years in. Yeah, five years in. I shouldn't be headline. And I do a headlining set and watching them burning them too late, later than you should, hurts more. Absolutely. Because they go, not really and if they would have done that when I first started I would have been like well I just started it but now you go well I'm starting to kind of figure it out yeah yeah yeah it's just not for me yeah you can't you can't get some

of them back yeah yeah I mean I'm doing the paramount in October and I'm like I promise guys if you haven't seen me yeah come back yeah way better for sure yeah because you burn it you do you do man I've lost a good bit and I was so ambitious coming up like I would just do any room I would ask for any like on the road you know I would just be like I'll do you don't have to pay me I'll get up and people would come out and it would be horrendous. I mean, it would be horrendous. What it is, is there's, I would say this to younger comics if they watch this, like, it's good to burn those off in the beginning. Yeah.

Because then they will come back around 10, 15 years later and go, oh, I remember when you started and you sucked and then that's only the story. But if they come in, like I'm talking about, a little too into it, they go, that's exactly right. And you go, I'm better at it. It's subtle, but I'm fucking way better. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's bombing.

in front of your family hurts. Yeah. It hurts on a different level. It does. I mean, I did that. I finally got my grandmother back, but I burned her pretty bad, pretty early. I mean, what's show? Well, the guy that owned the bar that I ran in Jacksonville, Alabama, also was part

owner of Smith's old bar in Atlanta. Okay. And there's this really cool upstairs room where they would do this 1 a.m. show, the local Atlanta scene would, and he would rent it out for other stuff. Well, he gave me a night there in like 2013. I'd been doing comedy for like two years. Great. Yeah, got an hour.

I get the whole room. Saturday night gets me a hotel. I've been doing comedy for two years. But you feel you're like, this might as well be Madison Square Garden. Might as well. And I'll go, you know, if I drink enough, I bet you I'll find something. I'm going to get that sweet spot. Yeah, that's exactly.

Sweet spot never happened. Never. No jokes ever happened. I blacked out on stage. I mean, I walked half the crowd. I got done, the girl that I had brought to the show. I'm pretty sure left with somebody else. It couldn't have gotten any worse.

Like, I was just in the hotel room. Look, and what's crazy about comedians and it, it, it, you'd think, well, that would be your last time. And I go, I got to figure this out. Yeah. You know, I was like, I got a, you know, but it was a nightmare. Oh, my God. And then your grandmother didn't watch, my grandmother didn't watch comedy for like another, of mine for another six years or so.

Her and my grandfather were in the first row. I don't even know what I was thinking. I am so lucky that that never happened. Yeah. Your story about that, I'm like, I'm so glad my grandmother didn't even acknowledge I did stand. No, she couldn't even look me in the face. My grandmother didn't even know what I did. Yeah. She just knew she was like, I swear to God, I've told that story on the bonfire, but it's true. My grandmother had no idea what I did, and I have bits about her. I have long

bits about it. Yeah. And someone showed her me on Conan on their phone, and she was like, where do you do this? Yeah. And you're like, I told you about it. Yeah. Didn't record it. You didn't care. Yeah. But I remember I went to the bank with her one time. This was after Billions was on the air for a couple seasons. Yeah. And we're in my grandma's town in California and she's like, the lady at the bank wants to meet you. And I was like, in my head, I'm like, she's a billions fan or whatever. Yeah. So I go into the bank with my grandmother and I'm like, hey, nice to meet you. I'm Mary Lou's grandson. And she was like, I just want to, I cash her check every month that you send her. And I just want to say like, I think you're a great grandson. And I was like, oh, this is because I'm a good

grandson. And she goes, yeah. And then the lady goes, what do you do? And my grandmother interrupts. And she goes, he's a writer. And I was like, I'd probably. I'd probably. say it's the worst part of my stand-up. Yeah, yeah. I'd probably say I'm a voice guy first. That is so funny. But that was like, that felt so disrespectful.

But the flip side of that coin is her watching me early going, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly right. I don't think so. So I almost think it was better for me. Yeah. Just to go, don't worry about it, Nana. No, that worked out way better.

Now she finds you and she's like, wow, he's brilliant. Yeah. Now she's in, I don't know, purgatory looking down going, okay, he's got bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. He's got a couple of bits.

You have a great, that grandmother name, Mary Lou. Yeah, that's real. What a great great. Oh, from Oklahoma, from Muskogee, Oklahoma. My goodness. Oki from Muskogee. I love that. Yeah.

My grandmother, Brenda, that's a good one. That's a good one. Brenda is a good grandma. Yeah. Do what? A southern grandma in Brenda? She's a West Virginia. I don't know if they consider that.

We do. Everyone else does. Yeah. The rest of the country goes West Virginia. I know geographically it's not there. Yeah. Your heart is in the same. Yeah, you know, you're 100% right.

West Virginia is a very interesting state because you go there and you go, like, might be some of the hardest, toughest people in the world who are also aware of it. Oh, yeah. They're going like, shit's tough here. I want somebody one day to go, growing up in Alabama, all my family is from West Virginia and lives there. They're all there. It's just me, my siblings, and my parents in Alabama.

Hillbillies and rednecks, okay? Let me tell you something. Everybody goes, I'd like to see. A hillbilly would beat a redneck's eyes out of its head, okay? Hillbillies do not play games. No. Rednecks are actually, can be a lot nicer and better people than what they. I've met some rednecks that give to lots of charity. They're just not wearing shoes at Kroger's and, you know, revving their trucks said,

A hillbilly, if you turn around in their driveway and they don't know you, you are going to have a conversation. Because you're in a hauler. And haulers are dead ends. Where I'm from in West Virginia is milk. Creek, Elkview. It's a very country part of West Virginia. Sure. And all the time people, and why I said they're not the South is because Southerners are go, West Virginia is not the South. And I'm like, let me tell you something about my family in West Virginia. Okay. All their flowers are inside of tires. Y'all, y'all don't, don't make this a southern or who's more

country. I think that the Appalachian people are the most country. I think they are, without a doubt, and the toughest. There are most dangerous folk. Absolutely. I mean, I think you could take Appalachia. That's it. Yeah. You take Appalachia and you go. versus anybody. Vers anybody. I'll take Dagestanians. I know they can wrestle. And there's some people in a holler right now watching,

they're firing, they're grabbing their guns listening to me, talk about them. Yeah, I'm just fucking over. I'm telling you. You're fucking dag. Yeah, fucking go. But it is, I mean, you watched, you know,

that documentary, we were, Big Jay and I were obsessed with it on the bonfire, the weird and wonderful whites of West Virginia. It's my favorite documentary of all time. Jessica White and all the whites. The line that always gets me to, that Jay does perfectly, he goes, Mouse's about to get some dick.

When she gets out of jail, she's about to go get some dead. Mouse about it. Yeah. When she's snorting the oxy and she goes, she's going to be the next president of the United States. She's a newborn and there's an election in two years. I don't think that's possible.

But Johnny, do you know the behind the scene story that Johnny Knoxville and Dickhouse wanted to make that a show? Yeah, yeah. But it was so dangerous that they were like, we're not going back in there. The crew. I'm saying this to Mike,

the crew is like, don't do not pull us back there. Yeah. Because it was, I mean, you go, what is the Boone County Maiton call?

Yeah, yeah. Shicks the fucking oxy pills. Absolutely. You're like, dude, these people are, what's crazy about rural

is everyone expects the South to be, I think the idea of dangerous rural has been kind of co-opped by the South, where they go, oh, the South,

but there's parts of Northern California where you're like, these are dangerous hillbilly. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Hillbillies aren't just West Virginia. No, no, no, no. There's hillbillies in Oregon. Kentucky, Oregon.

There's lots of, and there's rednecks everywhere, too. Rednecks in Western New York. I was about to say, I've ran into a few in Albany. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go to, like, some Poughkeepsie's a tough town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go, damn, there might be some hillbillies. Everybody wants to put it in the South, but you're so right.

It's not. It's a way of life. Yeah. There's some real rednecks in Colorado. Yeah. I mean, absolutely. Go to Sterling. I was just about to say.

Sterling. That is insane. That's so funny. I mean, that is insane. But where my, so my dad and my grandmother lived, and I've talked about this ad nauseum on this podcast, but they lived in San Francisco, then they moved to Lake County. Yeah. Lake County in California is the second, it used to be the second poorest county. Yeah. In California, which is most of the West Coast. For sure. You got hillbillies. For sure. There are hillbillies in Lake County where you're like, I'm scared of you. Yeah. I took her when we visited my grandma. This is always the story I love telling people but you know she's from Massachusetts yeah she lived in New York

she's lived in the long island she lived all over and I took her to Lake County and she was in the car while I went into the gas station to get ice for a Fourth of July barbecue and I come out and Katie just looks at me and I get in the car she goes this might be the scariest place of ever been in my life and she was like the the look

of people that look at you coming out of the gas this is what she's going off yeah of people coming out of the gas station and mad dogging whoever is in the fucking passengers She was like, four people look like they wanted to kill me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they probably did.

Absolutely. Yeah, because they're fucking hillbillies. Yeah, there's hillbilly. It's a way of life. It is. Turn that into a no fear shirt. No, yeah, you easily could. Put it on a Mountain Dew bottle.

I, yeah, you know, I always tell people, I'm proud to be born in West Virginia and have family from there, but I would not have the sense of humor I have if I was not raised in the South. They're some of the funniest people. Storytellers. Yeah. I mean, Southerners are... It's very funny.

They're very, very funny. Nate was the first southerner that I really got to meet and know and you're like, oh, one of the funniest human beings of all time. Just talking. Yeah. I mean, dude, he would say stuff that it was like in the moment. We're like, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard of my life. Yeah.

He'd be like, Nate would just look at it and go, what? Yeah. And you're like, oh, fuck. Yeah, a relentless roaster. Yeah. I've never, it's been a long time since I've had somebody that makes fun of me at the pace he does. It's great. I used to love going over and watching football.

football, when Nate and Laura lived in Queens, when they lived in Woodside. Yeah. And watching, like, Laura be funny and southern to people, like, specifically what I'm talking about is Alabama played Texas in the national championship in 2011, maybe 2010. Joe List, Nate Bargettze and I drank about 80 beers watching that game. And Alabama started pulling away, and Joe List just made a joke where he goes, come on, Texas, let's make this a game. and Laura put him in the ground with words.

She was like, what's wrong with you? Why would you say that at someone's house watching Alabama? And Joe's like, is she fucking mad at me? You know? Like, we're saying, he's like, pretty serious. And you go, well, she's busting your balls,

but I think there's some real shit behind that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the best. It's the best, man. And, dude, you're so funny. I'm so glad you moved to New York. Like having a guy like you, you're fucking absolutely hilarious.

Every time I watch at the cellar, I'm like, this guy's so funny. Go watch Derek's Troop specials. Follow him. Check out everything he does. He's the fucking best. Thank you, man. Thank you, buddy. I'm a big fan of you, too, man. Thanks for having me. Dude, absolutely, man. We were trying to get this a while ago. Good. Because, I mean, Pimp loves you. Pimp's like, dude, shrews the fucking man. And I was like, why have we not add him on? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I appreciate you coming on. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Check him out. See, I didn't do an intro, but I did a wonderful outro. You did.

Thank you.