Soder - 107: Preheat the Oven with Daniel Sloss | Soder Podcast | EP 105

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

Support the sponsors to support the show! Fall into comfortwith Mack Weldon’s Ace Collection. Go to MackWeldon.com and get 20% off your first order of $125 or more, with promo code DAN https://mackweldon.com/ promo code DAN For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code SECURE10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply.Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wdild9do] #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/SODER to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today https://www.zocdoc.com/?utm_medium=audiopodcast&utm_campaign=soder The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city! Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tour NOV 13 Iowa City, IA Nov 14 Minneapolis, MN NOV 15 Madison, WI NOV 21 Kansas City, MO NOV 22 St. Louis, MO DEC 5 Vancouver, BC DEC 6 Eugene, OR DEC 12 Columbus, OH DEC 13 Royal Oak, MI Follow Daniel Sloss https://www.instagram.com/danielsloss/?hl=en https://x.com/Daniel_Sloss?lang=en https://www.facebook.com/danielslosscomedian/ PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  Mike Lavin      https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

November 13th, Iowa City, Iowa, the Engelert Theater. I hope I'm saying that, right? Engler, you guys threw a tough one. But Iowa City, I'm bringing a fun show. Me and three other comics are going to come by and do a great show as part of the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. Minneapolis, I'm going to be at the Pantages Theater, the Pantages. I don't know, dude, I am publicly educated and pretty stupid.

I know people are so mad at me and you're coming through with that Midwestern. Like, just learn the damn theater if you're going to play it. sorry Minneapolis. Madison, Wisconsin, November 15th, the Barrymore Theater as part of the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. I love coming to Madison, Wisconsin. I'm very excited to do the Barrymore Theater. Kansas City, Missouri, the Uptown Theater. We're going to be there November 21st. November 21st, coming to bring you a show at the Uptown Theater. Go to dancehota.com to get tickets right now. And we'll see you then, Casey. And yes, I forgive you for beating the 49ers twice in the Super Bowl.

It still hurts, but... Good job. Congratulations. People glaze over DVR being so important for, like, a lot of forms of entertainment. Because if you missed it and no one taped it, you were just, like, fucked. Yeah. I remember this girl that I knew used to tape, I worked Wednesday nights, like, Graveyard

shift over. night and she would tape South Park for me. Great. And I would, she would leave it on her mailbox and I'd go pick up a tape after work and, like, put it in my thing and watch South Park and be like, all right, that's the new episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it, you know what it did? It made you enjoy

shows more, because you had to put in effort. Yeah, yeah, and if the cable was ever fucking out, like, I used to get back in the fucking 90s, it was all about friends. Yeah. So it was like every Thursday night, at 9 p.m. If you'd missed that fucking episode, going into school the next day. You're fucked.

It was awful. It was social capital. Yes. A hundred percent. Do you remember when kids, do you remember the first time you caught a kid lying about seeing a movie by just describing stuff that was in the trailer? Oh, no. Did you ever have that moment?

No. I remember that moment where like, you know, we're boys. We're like seventh graders. You know, we're like around 12 years old. You want to see the rated R movies. You want to see the bad horror movies. Yeah, but you might not have a cool parent. Yeah.

Or just a good parent. You might have a good parent that's like I'm not letting you watch that. You're 12 years old. I think, no, I think taking your, I think it's true freedom to go. Like, my dad used to sneak me into like 15s and 18s when I was 12. That's a good, that's a dad role. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The mom is the police and the dad is the one that's like, my dad, no, my parents were divorced,

but I would go visit my dad. It was all my fault. Okay. It was 100, I was fucking my mom. It was edible. I tried to kill. Kill my father. Of course it's my fault.

It's in my blood. Freud was right. Yeah, dude, I have to bring up a joke. I don't know if you ever put it out, but Colin Quinn had this joke about back in the day when they'd watch plays, it would be about people. And he was like, Edipissus walking up going, hey, was that thing about me? You know, I go, I don't want to fuck my mom and kill my father. But my dad, when I would visit him, it was like, it was like 17.

It was the rated ours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blast Boy Scout, like, all predator, like all the ones that I should. shouldn't be watching. Yeah. But if that was like... But it made you... Being allowed to watch shit

that you weren't allowed to watch made you so fucking cool. My mom bought me the South Park game when I was like 12 years old or maybe even younger and I was like, that's... You've given me so much credit in school.

See, what's funny is... Oh, my God, yeah. A South Park game when you're young? Oh, people come around to your house played on your fucking PlayStation. And you're like, yeah, I got it, yeah. Oh, this is... Did your cousin, like, rip that?

I was like, no, my mom bought it because I lied to her what it was about. I'm old enough that South Park timed out, right? It came out when I was like old enough where I needed Dirty or Simpsons. It's like when you're an alcoholic and you start drinking and you go, I need something harder. Yeah, with South Park was like, we got some single barrel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm from Colorado. So it was like, it was like on the nose.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were like, these are all references that are built and you just love it. But yeah, I remember my friend Adams' mom, we were watching South. Park in his basement. Yeah. And they're Jewish. And she came downstairs and Carman's like, shut up, you, Jew.

And she was like, what is this show? What is this show? And like, this is this? This isn't funny? What is this? And then you're like, you are Kyle's mom. You go, Miss Broflafski. Please, Mrs.

Braffloffloffi. Just rain it in for a second. Yeah, but I was in full butters mode back then. So I was just in my head like, Lou, Lou, Lou. I was full on butters until I got, older but yeah man you're right like the the showing of adult stuff you know what that's important for curation like your parents that's like one of the greatest things you get to do is you get to

curate your kid's taste yeah yeah by going like listen to this well it's also like trying to like you know your kids come out the way they are their personality is like fully in there sure discovering but it is like a taste i think to be like i love this thing i'm going to share it with my kid and see how they react. Hopefully they love it. You know, that's a pro wrestling thing is like a lot of times dads that grew up loving wrestling

will show their kids it. Then they're like young, so they're into it. Then it's a whole different experience where you go, now I'm enjoying it. I remember my parents not listening to cool music.

As far as in the 90s, my mom was listening to like Steve Winwood and like Bonnie Raid and like stuff that when I was like a teenager, I was like, this shit's corny.

And now I'm in my 40s and I'm like, oh, my parents raise me on this. I mean, I'm like, oh, this Steve Winwood is just singing to me. And it feels, and I think that's also a thing where you don't appreciate as a kid sometimes what your parents are showing you. Well, also like anything that your parents like is just inherently like uncool. The thing that like gives me great fucking solace is like there's a clip of Dave Grohl talking about like how lame his daughter finds him. Yeah. And I'm like, if Dave Grohl's kid thinks he's a fucking lazy. I'm fucked.

There is that... Like, the guy played with fucking Kurt Kavan and his daughter's like... I don't want to hear about Uncle... I'm like, oh, well, fuck all my dreams. I'll just never try to be cool. He's like, I don't want to hear about Uncle Kurt again. Yeah, yeah.

I don't care. You know, I found his body. His brains were on the wall. Dad, that's not true. I've seen the interviews. You start thinking... You know, it would be worse is it's like a conspiracy kid,

and they go, how do you pull the trigger of a shotgun? And you're out ahead. And he goes, I don't, this is what I don't need. What was the name of the, yeah, yeah, it'd be mental if your dog growing up being like a Courtney love gadget staff. Yeah, she goes, I don't like when Courtney comes around.

She costs you money. Yeah, there you go, why are you so focused on that? Yeah, but you know what? It is, it's like everyone that, if you have a kid, they're going to think you're lame. Yes. And that's why I always think people that try to follow their father's profession, like when they try to follow them in,

that's dangerous because you should think It's lame. Absolutely. Like if my son, I will consider myself a massive failure of a parent if my son becomes a stand-up comedian. Yes. Because you become a stand-up for two reasons.

Emotional trauma. Yeah. Or, like, attention. Like you just, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oftentimes it's a cocktail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you go, I need a little emotional damage and then toss in a little dash of insecurity.

I'm incapable of loving yourself so you need to get the validation from strangers. Pop it with a little annoying. Yes. And also a fairer. bit of I think I'm better than people, even though I hate myself, which is a weird, such a weird combo. What a weird way to put me at the top when I despise that, your enemy at the top of the list. But you're, I would think like, I'm obviously the reason, one of the reasons I'm a comic

because I'm insecure. I think if my kid followed me into my profession, I'd go, you think you fucking, yeah, I fucking raised you with self-love. Also, like, if my son does stand up, it'll be like, I'm like, did you, is this the only way to get my attention? Do you feel like, did I, does, Did it feel like I prioritized stand up too much ahead of you? Yeah. And, like, one of my friends is a comedian and his dad is a comedian. And I'm like... What's that family dinner like when you have a good bit?

When you come up with something, you go, who gets it? Oh, very different. Like, Mark Steele is a very, like, he's been fucking left-wing UK since, like, the 70s, 80 alternate comic, very political, very smart, very, like, wordy and verbose. And his son, Elliot is a great comedian. Thick as shit Like the one of the dumb You gotta go

That's the only way it works I love him dearly He's one of my best ones One of the dumbest Ever Oh that's the only one Sorry I realize Thick over here

It means like F fat ass Oh he's a big fat I know He's dumb He's dumb He's He's beautiful boy

Who I love dearly Dumb as dumb as the day As long You know what's funny Is a bit that I had I'm just remembering An apartment bit That I had with

With Sean Patton when I was doing fringe. Yeah, yeah. Because they call everyone thick, we were doing, uh, wiggers in Scotland and they, and Scottish people don't understand what I'm saying. He was like, y'all, I'll be fucking this girl. She thick as fuck. And they're like, you're like, fucking energy's thick.

And you go, fucking the shit out of her girl like, thick as hell. And they're like, that was the thing we kept doing when we would walk home at night. We'd be like, y'all, I'm telling you that girl thick as hell. And then Scottish people would be like, she's dumb? Are you fucking a main thing? I don't think that's legal. You know, I'll be pounding out that thick, bitch. But you're right, that's the only way to go

when your dad is a smart political comic is go like, ribs are cool. Yeah, you got to become broie. You got to be like, all right. But it makes sense. Because it's, that's like the thing I'm obsessed about in America with that or mafia sons. I've talked about this before,

but I'm obsessed with the idea of like, your dad is Tony Soprano. That's why AJ was the perfect character. Because he didn't try to become, Chris was his, you know, but you see like Doddies or whatever, like his son tried to be like him and you're like, that's just,

it's too impossible because someone like a mobster, it's worse than a comic. We fought through our emotional issues. Those guys, like, killed people and, like, did a lot of dirt. Also, do you really, you don't want your kid ending up to something where, like,

if you've lost most of your friends, to it. Yeah. Like you're not going to be like this is the dream I have for my daughter. Yeah. I want her to wake up

next to her husband's head. Yeah. That's why she'll know she's made it as a monster. She'll be like, Dad, I'm so excited. Daddy, it happened. They whacked my husband.

I woke the car. You made it, baby. Daddy, the car blew up. And he goes, I told you, I fucking knew it. It was those stupid Columbians. It's like immediately, you know. Yeah, you just like can't,

if you're, he had comes to you, do you think that would be harder for your son to tell you he's a comedian or that he's gay? Oh, yeah, he would have no problem telling me he was gay. Yeah. Yeah. There's like, people, there's like gay guys in the Midwest that were like, oh, I wish I followed my dad into business. Then they just care that, I wouldn't care that I'm gay. No, I'd be, I'd be fine with a, I'd be fine with a gay kid. I'd be, but I've got some weird lines I'd understand. Yeah. Left-handed, I'm killing him. As a left-handed guy. Oh, I think.

We need less of us. I just, you'll never convince me it's not for attention. Pulling out, pulling out, pulling, signing something with your left hand in front of people. Oh. You feel so dumb. Yeah. Like,

do you get free barking for that? Yeah. They go, Oh. And you go, I know how to fucking smudge it all. Like, I need a big crayon when I'm signing my name with. And I go, wow.

And I do everything with, uh, like, athletically with my right hand. Oh, yeah. Right. And I don't know what you joke off with? Both. Oh, big cock. Dool-la, no, it's one, huh. It's more of a magic trick.

It's like that mashed potato, like that, but, I'm pretending to climb a roll. And then I do the thing like with a bat at the end where my hands are on top, one finger. Yeah, no, we're not working with a lot of real estate, so it's just, wait. But it was, my mom is purely left-handed. My dad was purely left-handed, and I'm like, Oh, so it's, so we, in theory, we could breed your people out. Yes. Why ams if a lefty fucks a righty?

I don't know. Do they get cured? I don't know. That's like a genuinely good medical question. That's my level of stupidity where I go, that's like, that should be in scientific weekly. Sloss comes on and he's just kicking science at me in a way that I couldn't handle. Yeah, I don't know if it's bred out, like if it's like blonde hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A couple brunettes and you're fucked. Yeah, yeah. Because it is, you know, with the hate that redheads get, I mean, not so much anymore. Yeah, but they try every couple years. Yeah. Well, it's because red-headed women are gorgeous. Yeah. It's the, and this isn't, I've said this before,

and I got a lot of shit from a lot of very ugly ginger men. Yeah. There are some handsome ginger men out there. It's just, it's, it's harder. It's easier for a ginger woman to be beautiful. Let me put this in the nicest way. It's a harder outfit for a man to pull off. Yes.

It's a lot of, um, it's, it's too much vein work in the temples, forearms. Also, like a woman with, like, pale skin, there's something like, Oh, she's been locked away. She's been a maiden look. Yeah, yeah. Maybe even a siren. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. The long, like, when I watch Florence and Florence in the machine,

I'm like, oh, this red-haired siren sings to me. And of course she has a beautiful voice. That makes sense. Like a fair-skinned, like, and I say this as the pastiest fucking white guy. Yeah, but we look like basement dwellers. Yeah. We look like basement dwellers. When ginger's burn, it's cruel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like, it's like... It's to get them used to hell. That's why they sunburn so easily. God's just helping them practice. We're just preheat in the oven here, guys. Just keep fucking ready for it. And you know what's funny about that is my mom is Irish descent.

So she has freckles, but she was blonde. She was like strawberry blonde. So just a step away. She's a day walker. Yeah, yeah. But the way... It sounds like historically her ancestors got sexually pillaged by Vikings. Yes.

Which leads me to my father's side, which were the pillaging-ripping Vikings. Coming from Sweden. And what's weird is they're Nordic, like my dad's family was all Swedish. And you would think that they would burn, but they get tan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go like, the burn turns into a tan and thank God

that's the skin that I got. But they get like, Scandinavia gets really beautiful actual summers and stuff. It's crazy. Scarlane and Ireland, it's, you've, if you've done the fridge, you know what it's fucking light. It's just mist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just hot mist. You don't have the BTCs in your air conditioning to make it. No, we don't. enjoyable. We don't have, we don't have aircon because we've never fucking needed aircon. But guess what, baby?

Oh, boy. Planet's heating up. I was, I was in London on the hottest day in history of London and I was like muttering to myself walking around like a crazy person like, this is why you need air conditioning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we'll have to.

Because one of the biggest things I fucking hate about Spain is like, if you stay in any hotel or any Airbnb in fucking Spain, the cats don't have aircon. It's like, no wonder your culture is surrounded, it's centered around naps, right? Do you understand the C.S? That's your body shutting down. It's not resting.

You don't even have to invent air-cott. It's been invented. Steal it from Portugal, you lazy fucks. And I will say that. Why are you having dinner at 10 fucking p.m.? You got a nap at 12. You fucking idiot. I tried to, as a day napper.

I love their culture. But that's more because of my pot use. But when I was in, when I was doing fringe, I would say the only, thing that... When did you do? What year? 2019.

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Scottish attitude towards ghost, which are the New Yorker's attitude towards public violence, which is like when you move to New York and you see public violence, people go, I don't know, I got a ghost somewhere. I'm just going to move around it. So I, I, I, Scotland does that with ghosts where they go, yeah, you probably got something thrown at you. So I, uh, I don't believe in ghosts. I'm a big old, like

as far as like, uh, you know, souls day afterlife. And anything fucking like I do not believe in, right? But I love the history of Edinburgh because it's so fucked up. It's like thousands of years of just like... Crazy shit.

Yeah, man, when the Black Plague started, the reason Edinburgh is on two levels is because all the people in the lower parts were getting sick because that's where shit and piss runs down. Yeah, my shit runs downhill. Yeah, but they just thought it was like, oh, well, fucking poor people are gross,

so of course they die. And when it started spreading, they started like just bricking people into their homes to just be like, this is the only way we can think to... But there's no way I could be bricking a guy into his house, and while I'm putting it down, I'm not like, I'm sorry, putting the brick and then smoothing it and making sure it's like, because I like care about

my work. So I go like, yeah, it's good. And then doing another one and taking the spackle and being like, sorry. And just hearing them cough. Just the saddest, slowest game of Tetris with no blogs. She's like, oh, but you get excited when you find the shape. You go, oh, oh, that's going to Tetris. Technically they got a Tetris. They get the guy in there is just like, there's one little fidget.

Obviously, this is the worst thing that can happen to me. There's an L-shaped one just back there. That's all history is is just a bloody painting and land is just a canvas

with like, America was just like the Puritans going, we got a brand new canvas. We can paint a bloody fucking beautiful painting. Do you believe in ghosts? To an extent. I don't believe in them.

I don't think they're, I think it's like the echo of a, a soul. Right. I think we don't know what life is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I think.

Yeah. I think that we're too stupid to understand what this really is. And I think the important part is like stay in the moment. Yeah, yeah. That's what the whole point of life is. That's like the Buddhist look. Yeah, being present in the moment. It makes the most sense.

So all ghost are people who didn't meditate. I'm saying like. Just like they, if they were present in the 1300s, they wouldn't fucking be here now. I'm just saying maybe fucking, maybe look at the bricks getting laid outside your door. So you're not going to be haunting my head. Hilton when I'm trying to jerk off in the shower. There's, but in your thing, there's no Buddhist ghosts then. No.

Monasteries have to be the least haunted places in the world. Whatever form of weird religious racism this is? I don't think there's Asian ghosts. I just feel like, I... No, Asian ghosts. Asians can't be ghosts. I said it here first. They're yellow, not white.

They'll never be white. Not even in the afterlife. I see you like two years ago. What happened? I go, well, I'm working at CBS. That clip went viral and, probably the worst way and uh honestly you know mom donnie did change things and it got me five no i um i don't know what it is but it just have the feeling of it there's like it's something that we

can't see that fucks with us yeah when i was in scotland i was doing that show and it was at the medical school and i would enter through the show room but then summer hall what's that was it summer hall maybe i can look it up i have a horrible memory but it was this like lecture hall and there was actually this plaque outside this is what's crazy about Scotland when you're not in America and you see how long shit's been around and then you look and you go we're 250 years old we're like 12 year olds drinking wine on vacation in Spain and we're like we're adults yeah I was smoking Scotland's just your 75 old guy that drinking whiskey been like it's all gonna be shit you don't know it's gonna fucking but I was just like smoking a joint

in this like it was raining and it was like I was in this like coat where there's this plaque and I just start reading this plaque and the plaque is like here is the school where the first two American doctors were trained yeah the first two doctors in Philadelphia that came over from Edinburgh and were trained at this school yeah and I'm sitting there reading it I'm like what the fuck yeah unfortunately they were doctors in phrenology yeah that's always the that's why they went to America If you read their papers, it was on the mandingo. It wasn't good.

It was pretty racist what they were studying. That's why we send them to America. Go see what really is going on. But they, but I would walk up, it was like, I'd walk up this staircase and I would, the door was always open. And the door was always open in this back, like, green room office. And you'd walk down the stairs to get out of it. And every time I would get to a certain level, the door would fucking slam.

shut like slam and no one was in the room and you're like all right there's no explanation for that that I can think of there's no dust all the windows are closed it's like that door was like someone was like get the fuck out of you stop performing in my bed that's what I thought I'm not gonna lie I think that was my harshest criticism of just a ghost every night never mind the views enough but I had to somebody who doesn't believe in ghosts at all I'd have really fucked up one in Edinburgh so I was dating an American girl she was over and I was like the ghost tours are great because even if you don't believe in ghosts

they're just showing you really historical parts and you grew up in Edinburgh right I grew up in Fife and Fife so it's like you know 45 minutes okay so outside you put the biggest city to you is Edinburgh yeah yeah yeah yeah so I take this girl on to like the fucking the tour just to get like

the history lessons and we go to like this underground bit where it's like the vaults and it's deep underneath the city and the gotty like tour guide. He's like, he's very good and he knows what he's doing. So he walks us all in and he starts talking to the ghost. He's like, I talk to the spirit that's in here because it just means like she fucks with us less. And the girl I'm with is like, oh my God. And I'm like, you're all fucking idiots. It's just in like an American tourist trap, you gullible fucking idiot. He's

playing you like a fiddle. And he walks us down all these walls. And man, look, it's damp. It's dark. It's like, it's spooky. He gets to one room and he's like, this is the most haunted room. This is where we think that she died. And like in the center of the thing, there's like a pentagram and I'm like what the fuck is that he's like because this is the most haunted room in Scotland in fact probably in Europe we get like a lot of cults will occasionally come here to like do little ceremonies and we rent out to make the fucking money and I'm like alright cool and he goes also if you want you can if you stand in the middle of that this pentagram really weird shit normally happens I don't recommend you do it but you're free to do what you

like holy fuck can I just tell you how big of a pussy I am that I don't now don't the group I was with, I'll go, hey, if anyone steps in that pentagram, we're fighting when we get out of this dungeon. Like, full on, I will go to your Scottish prison. I'm going to beat the fuck out of whoever stands in the middle of that pentagram. Man, woman, or child. If your child accidentally runs into the middle of the pentagram, it's on sight. It just stamps in his head fully.

And he's like, it's my dad's voice. And he goes, damn, none of your jokes about me makes sense. And I go, ah, I fucking kill you. So my, the girl I'm with, she's got the same reaction to you. Because the second he says, it's terrifying. The second he says, if you step in it, I'm like, I'll do it. Like, you're all, you're all gullible, fucking idiots. Oh, you just cause every horror film.

So I step towards it. The girl I'm with sort of pulls me back. And he's like, look, a lot of people don't want to be in the room when this happens. So if you want to do it, all I ask is that you allow everyone who doesn't want to be in the room when you do this, do this. And I'm like, cool. If people want to leave and, like, everyone leaves the room. So it's just me in the room. By yourself?

With the pentagram, right? So I'm like, okay, this is, like, you're all idiots. Can I tell you right now? Yeah. There are a lot of people who talk that shit about not believing in ghosts. Yeah. I met them. Yeah.

Dear friends with a lot. Yeah, yeah. I'm just telling you right now, where you're at in this story. Yeah. I know you don't believe in ghosts. Yeah. You're alone in a dungeon. Yeah, yeah.

With a pentagram. Yeah. And you're still gone. Yeah. this is wild I would have been outside going lock him in there lock him the fuck in there

he's going to sound the same but that's how they get you that's how they fucking get you he's a host it's called a host it's how they bring spirits out you need to fucking kill him I take everyone's out the room

and I'm like just give me like I'll do it in 30 fucking seconds I take one step towards the paragraph and I'm leaving ghosts I nearly faint the second I take it's up my knee collapses in my left.

I feel this fucking horrific chill all the way down my fucking spine. Like I managed to sort of catch myself and I step back and I'm put my feet together. And I'm like, okay, there's got to be like a logical explanation for it. Oh, science brain. Science heal me now.

Rego, obviously, the Mandula Abilangata is sending us for. It was a perceived thing. It was, it was... This is my brain. This is all mental. Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, I'm behind you just piss

all over my jeans. I'm going like, it's like Abbott and Costello. I'm like, I'm just, blah, I walk out of the room, right? And all of them are there. And they're just like, I was it. And I'm like, yeah, it was fine. Idiots.

And then we just continued. But you never, I never told the girl I was with. I absolutely never told. No, I was too, I'd made too much of a strong stance that ghost didn't exist. What was, was it an immediate? Was it like, the second, the second your foot hit down? No, I didn't even touch.

I didn't even get to the thing. It's like, I, like, my left foot goes forward. And my right. knee just fucking like buckles under me. Your body was like, we're not doing this. Yeah, and it just felt like, and there was a child in my fucking spine, and then after that, I was like,

I'm probably not gonna fucking stay with that. Does that, a situation like that, does it move the needle at all of you believing in ghosts? This is going to frustrate everyone, but no, like, you know, my dumb science brain is just like, you, if you're scared of something,

you will see it everywhere. I'll agree with that. I'll agree with that. That your brain can psych you out in a way. But I think there's sometimes, like Liz, at the comedy seller, one of my favorite human beings on the planet, she's there all hours of the day. She's a no bullshit.

She's the most no bullshit person I know. She's like, that fat black is haunted. And she's like, it just does. The fat black pussycat. Oh, right. Sorry, that's crazy that I just said that. Can I just tell you I did not realize

Can I just tell you right now I did not realize shorthand The way comics taught I was just at the cellar last night And I'm like I'm over at the fat black That out of context is a wide

That fat black's haunted I'm like what the What kind of racism is that? Damn America's America's really feeling themselves Trump got in And these boys are just dropping the mask What a cow is what

I'm gonna tell you right now These fat blacks They're haunted Which is why I have to put on this very similar ghost search. Now, ooh, this is how, that's how you scare them out of town. I, oh boy, to camera, that black pussycat, look it up on Google Maps. It's a real thing. It's a lounge where they do shows.

But they, she is like matter-of-factly like, oh, the fat black pussycat is haunted. Yeah. It's haunted. it and I'm like, no, it's not. Now, they have cameras. Yeah. And she showed me a clip of it. He's seen it where they're, you know, they have like the lanterns.

You've done shows there. It's like the side room. Yeah. And it's like with the lanterns up thing. I haven't done it. Oh, really? No, no. What?

I've only done the sale, I've done like Gotham and. Oh, I've done like Gotham and. But the cellar, have you done all the rooms at the cellar? No, I've done two of them, I think. Like the big one and then the original room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the big one, the upstairs. rooms this is what i'm talking about oh understood so upstairs it's the one on the left okay and it's got

all it's where they do new joke night and stuff and it's got these like um these like lanterns that are basically hanging down that are low light yeah and she was showing me this just fucking one night in the lobby like next to the room and she's like oh yeah look at this and she goes to a part of it and one of the lights just goes bam and just slant like like nothing moved it just moves and she's like yeah this room that shit happens all the time wow like this place is definitely haunted so that's always the part that moves the needle for me because i go well there is no other there is no science explanation for this does the molecules explode and fucking throw the thing like your leg buckling yeah as you step towards a fucking pentagram in a dungeon should be heavily front-loaded

should be aware that i'm saying that every time that you took a step towards a fucking pentagram there's no way i've watched too many horror movies i knew that would unlock and like i would start bleeding black goo or something, but it's like, I, fat black goo. Oh, you know what? I hate is scheduling a doctor's appointment because it feels like you're crawling up a mountain. You're just like, I got to find the doctor, I got to find the location, and my schedule. Guess what?

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Zock-Doc dot com slash soda. Less than an hour from downtown Toronto, you'll feel a world away with Durham Tourism's new discovery guide, open skies, explore day trip destinations, overnight getaways, and 129 must-try experiences in Durham, region from historic sites to starry nights and delicious days to downtown dates want to keep your luggage light and your dollars in canada discover durham region's open skies to get your guide visit durham tourism.ca slash discover but i like i think maybe it's i think it's mixed i think

it's like maybe your brain is freaking you out yeah yeah but maybe it's a portal to hell and they're like And your body's like, I'm not, it's like when you get... Yeah, but Occam's Razor. No, they hear the... It really is. It's like, could be or wouldn't be. Is there anything that would change your mind with an experience like that? If, what would it take?

I would go, I would, well, not, if, next time you're just going, I'll go back to this place and I'll stay up in the paragraph. I've not learned my lesson. Like, I would absolutely, in the name of, in the name of science, I would absolutely, I'd be like, right, now that I know what to expect, right? I don't, I do leg day beforehand. Hey, yeah, you go, fucking. You go, let me tell you right now.

You go, I'm in there, reping 225 on squats. I'm ready to get in there and fucking stand in there. I just, I also think this is because of horror movies. Yeah. You're going to affect everyone around you. It's not just going to be, you hear about Daniel Sloss. He got haunted by a 3,000-year-old. I don't watch horror movies, though, because they scare me too much.

I'm a real, I'm an absolute goose when it comes to. Ghost movies terrify me. Absolutely. How are we going to get to get to this? This feels like we just opened a whole fucking bag of handkerchiefs that we're pulling out. Like so you, because I... Last horror movie I watched was paranormal activity. Which is like looks, it looks like ghosts.

But here's my question. Just logic alone. If you don't believe in natural phenomenon, if you don't believe in ghosts, yeah. Why do those movies scare you? Because, because it's, I mean, look, because I have an active imagination. Like, you know, that's what. That's what they're... But doesn't that act of imagination...

I'm getting... I've got to take my sweatshirt off. I'm talking about ghosts. I'm saying like, because you believe in ghosts... Yeah. Doesn't that, like, go... When you're seeing that,

where you go, well, there's no way that could... It's like the way I'm watching superhero movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't believe in superheroes. I just watch a superhero movie and I go, well, that would, you know... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I'm not going to walk outside and see a guy fly down.

But you sort of take away the values of the superhero movie. Sure. Defend the week. That's a good point. Like, you know, like, there's still. in there and also you know you picture yourself you were like I would probably

if I was Batman I could probably fuck Wonder Woman oh yeah I go I you have a shot yeah yeah like with his muscles and my my res yeah like where because Batman's there's one thing about the comics I don't get there's no way that comes getting pussy he's too Batman yeah he's well that's why I like what they did

with the Robert Pattinson yeah they made him like an in cell a little bit you're like yeah Batman would be a little fucking weirdo a rich kid that just is good at beating people up been raised by a fucking butler yeah Cunds, go, raised, shut up. Let's make the storyline real. Alfred.

Violent pet of him. Just one of the most active and well-defended peddiles in the entire world. And he's got, I mean, he's back by the Wayne Corporation. Absolutely. God knows the new gadgets they have

for dittling kids. He's like, Mr. Bruce, this will tie their legs together and keep their penises erect. It's like that bit in like the dark night where it's all the screens and it's just child.

Yeah, he goes, why, Mr. Wayne, you found my I bet a little game. Also, it makes Batman so much scarier if he's like, I was fucked when I was a kid. And he goes, oh, no, there's nothing you won't do except kill people. He goes, and that's my only rule is I won't kill people.

Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, so you'll f*** up on the table? And he goes, I'll fuck you kid, oh, yeah. Because people were, you know, not all, but like a lot of people who were abused as kids. I'll tell you what really affect me. If Bruce Wayne was on the Epstein list. Oh, really. Yeah, yeah.

And he would be. We need to say. Batman after him. Batman, for some reason, just giving him a miss. Just giving him a miss this time. The batwin got stuck on Estead Island. Oh, no.

That was what I loved about the comic book, The Boys, that I don't think they really leaned into in the TV show was making these superheroes real pieces of shit. Like genuinely what happens when people get too much power. With Garthennis is a,

he's from Scotland, right? And he's done some fucking belt. It's because Preacher was his as well. Yeah, Preacher. I mean, he's done Punisher. I have the Garth Dennis. I've got a bunch of. Yeah, the Steve Dylan, Garth Dennis, run a Punisher is like the best.

Also, he's doing Sam Talent screenplay of running the light. Oh, fuck yeah. I don't know if I'm allowed. I think Sam said that on a bunch of shit. Sam, I will pull this down immediately if you get mad and you see this. But that's like, yeah, because in Preacher, he talks about Bill Hicks a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because Cassidy goes.

and sees them at the comedy club and it does the outline of it. I reread Preacher last year. Oh my God, it's unbelievable. It's so good. And they did a good show what they could with the show. I thought it was one of the very few times

where they weren't fully loyal to the content but they were like open about it. The vibe of it. Yeah, they were like, look, we're going to modernize it because also we can't do fucking nine seasons of this. It would just be too mental. Also, like in the comic,

it's not until like book two that shit starts really popular. So you're like, you can't do a full season of just explanation. Yeah. Also, the addition of Hitler was objectively funny. It was the, I love that. It was great. I was reading that when I was doing.

And like, arse face being in hell with him. I'm like, all of this is like so, any addition you've made that wasn't in the common books feels like Garth Annis was there. Been like, yeah, that's funny. That's dope to that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they really, he just does stuff, especially like with the boys that you're like,

this is what I've wanted to see someone do with the superhero for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, if you've watched it. TV show, I say you could go in and read the comic still, because it's a completely... The fucking comic, the main character is Simon Pegg. Yeah. It's literally based on Simon Peg.

That's why when Simon Pegg played his dad in the pilot, I was like, fucking punching at air. And it's also why the movie fucking wanted... Oh, yeah. Because the comic book wanted, first, an entirely different fucking storyline, but Eminet, the character was based on Eminem, the fucking female character was

Hallie Berry. Hallie Perry, yeah, absolutely, yeah. And they wanted to make, he tried to get Eminem to play that role. Yeah, but then they changed the movie. Like, the comic book is about how all the villains from the superhero world got together and we're like, if every superhero has 20 villains, if we all just, like, team up, we can kill all the villains. And then they do.

And then, like, they run the criminal underworld. And, like, one of the characters is called shithead. Yeah. And he's, like, the manifestation of, like, the 666 most evil people to ever exist. It's great. And I'm like, why did you call the one? wanted movie wanted where it had nothing to do with the IP

nothing to do with that's what they got the IP and then they went and and when you're a fan of this is why the Marvel trap worked was because they did their basis with nerds when you have a nerd foundation and you appease them you can build up to the sky

yeah that's what Marvel did when they nailed Iron Man when they were like we're going to do Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark every nerd was like yeah that's it. Yes smash it absolutely smash it. Give him the goatee. And then you saw the first thing when the bombs drop and he's like the weapons. And you're like, oh, this is, like, they nailed it.

They nailed Captain America. And then they've built off in a way that you're like, well, of course it's like a weird thing now that kind of sucks. Because it's just been squeezed. It's over fucking saturated. Yeah. Unless, the only way to bring it back is if they, and I don't know, I don't have the answer to this. But like, I don't know. I loved you Jackman as Wolverine.

Yeah. He's not Wolverine. Wolverine is like a five foot four. Five foot four brick shit house. pure fucking muscle and doesn't talk much. I would rather see Peter Dinklage play Wolverine. I think honestly, fans of the comic would tell you, that's more true to, if you saw a new X-Men lineup

and they had a Wolverine that was at Colossus' shins, you would go that, and he's just fucking those huge, the tricep hair, which Hollywood hates. I also, but let me tell you, it's a very real thing. We've also, an internet can prove it on great. I've never seen a jacked little person. Oh, they are. Are you kidding me?

They're strong. Of course they are. But maybe that's why they don't. Have you ever shook hands with a little person? Very strong handshake. I must have. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

You feel it. You go, oh, you've got six foot seven strengths right there. Oh, here we go. Holy fucking shit. Yeah, dude. Well, I will shut my life. Welcome to the world of little people bodybuilding, Daniel Sloss. Fucking dwarf juggernaut.

Now, here's my question. A hundred and tens. No, that must. being thimbles right that's so funny those are dreams each 110 child's dreams here's my question 110 that dude he's

literally doing flies with 110 dumbbells me and you two out of shape dickhead comedians yeah versus four muscular little people I don't know here's the thing we both have reach

yeah yeah we both have limbs you don't fear ghosts you don't fear the dead that's a strength I have a giant head capable of just smashing them yeah yeah yeah but that's you don't want a head butt a little person I think I do

do you they go take your skulls yeah we're like rams though you know what you know it beats a ram a bigger ram how's this fucking charge into them I'll blow them back I can fucking spread out they don't want me dude you know little people don't want a head butt me It's a bad day for a little person.

I mean, I will take the hit. I will get immediate CTE. But, man, I reckon like little person there, one, one kidney punch on me and I'm fucked. That's what I mean. Also, the compact. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They get in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I feel like, absolutely. Four is our limit. Five is a problem. Five is a problem. Six, we're getting overwhelmed. It's good Gulliver's travel. They're fucking stringing. I'm going to kill you

I'm going to kill you but I do think me and you could comfortably take four strong little people like ones that work out and go we're going to be tired we're going to be tired there's going to be a lot of me sign getting up

for the next week one of them got to my kidneys and what happens when they come in are we like dibsing our ones? Yeah I'll take it I'll take the two checks I go I go that one Eany, Meeny, that's probably the worst way to count them. Probably the most of it.

I'm not Enie, I'm meanie. And you go, oh, shit. My bad. You mean, you're eating, you're a meany. I'll take Mo. That's like a least-level shit talking. When they walk in, you go, you take Ety Meanie. I'll take money, Mo.

We might lose that one. If you talk that shit when they walk in, we might lose that one big time. Yeah, you don't want to. to roll them up. No, no. They're strong. They're doing fucking flies with a hundred and ten. I can't even do flies with fucking 40s.

Yeah. Yeah. Them coming and pissed off. We definitely fuck shit up. But yeah, I think we could. I believe in you and I. I think, you know. I've not been enough.

Mine, I've never. It's over. I'm in my 40s. You're a dad. You know what I mean? We're done. Physical action now would only be, I would fight off.

a coyote if it went after that fat ass if my dog got attacked by a coyote yeah i would i would try to fight that if someone i've done this i would yeah if someone kicked my dog 100% i would i think it's i'm throwing hands if i saw somebody kick our dog like even if it was in my yeah yeah yeah probably my mate if you make kind before i think so i might have in at fringe yeah maybe yeah he's a good hang yeah yeah yeah i've seen him um like it's it's a stop his car because he saw somebody hit a dot hit their dog and he like stopped the car when I was like if I ever see you hit your dog again I'm gonna kick your that that's I love that that's the energy we need do you think the lack of guns in the UK makes you guys better at

fistfights um I don't know like on average you yeah but and there's and also because we're more like used to like say it like and again this is from somebody who's only ever been fucking headbutted like I've never I don't think I've ever seen Was that a Glasgow Kiss? Glasgow Kiss. I think that's the coolest name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As the guy was a giant head.

Yeah, yeah. What a great name. What a great name for a... And by the way, don't get close to me. Yeah. Because I got taught by a Scott, had a headbutt. Yeah, yeah. They say you push down and in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go with the crown. You got up in there into their nose. Now, granted, the man that was teaching me this, I had to ask what six times. I was like, and then what? What? And he's like, hey, I'm not picking any of this up.

But yeah. So you've been headbutted. I've been a headbite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did it break your nose? No, which is hard to the size of this fucking thing. Gosh, no, dude. Little people are going to try to grab that.

That's how they're grabbing to work their way up. Don't grab it. That's what I do. You're cocaine through. No, no, no, no, no. They're not in the inside. They're in my brain. They're like, you're not doing it up there.

You're walking back into the pentagram? I suddenly turn around and you're like, no, they're in his brain. Oh, no. Oh, that's, it was. Is it the pentagram? It was your knee buckling because the guy was in your fucking nose.

But when you get... It's very funny to consider a bunch of little people just treat us like the Power Rangers as a same thing like... Like Voltron? It's just fucking that they assemble into me. They're like, mediocre

assemble. Innie. Meenie. Miny. And then my giant head. Like Voltron. So when you, when you get...

head budded it just rings your bell i've been head butted it sucks yeah yeah they didn't get me in my nose they got me in the forehead like i got there my vision went for a bit and then like by the time i fucking i didn't i didn't fall down and then by the time i'd open my eyes kai was beating the guy up really yeah yeah yeah damn that's cool it's always good to have a friend that's good at fighting oh it's the best no but also if you do have a friend that's good at fighting you become the worst type of woman in the world you know like women who like because they got a big boyfriend and they get a bit more mothy. You should look at my algorithm.

That is me. Watch my algorithm. My Instagram is like women getting their boyfriends beat up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one on the four train that everyone should find. This dude is in an MTA vest and he's just like sitting there and this guy's girl is just motherfucking him. She's like, fuck you motherfucker.

And he's just standing there. And he looks at the boyfriend and he goes, if you don't stop her, I'm going to beat the fuck out of you. And then she gets like too close and then he just goes, he moves her and just start beating the shit out of that. guy and you're like that's got to be the worst day please find me that video yeah he's on it it's pretty unbelievable I saw it on a deep wormhole I don't know how I got there I love going down like a Reddit wormhole of Facebook Instagram has gotten really good at knowing me

what I want when I when I flick up yeah yeah yeah you have to like the occasional really brutal knockout yeah and then you go so they just get in yeah come on that you you know what I like yeah come there was in at the airport I need something I need something I need to feel something. There was a great one of a guy in Chicago, I think it was. It was like a wintry fucking night and like clearly this guy is huge.

He beats him up three guys successfully, right? Now it's slippy and the guys he's fighting are like fucking drunk, but like punches one and then he chases the other two and one of the hardest I've ever laughed and he fucking fight. He runs back to the guy that he like punched and almost knocked out before

and the guy's like getting up and he takes his hand and then he goes out of your buddy and then just You get it too for Yeah, yeah, that's just such good shit Housery. That's, that's... Yeah, I couldn't get your two buddies. They're fast. With you? I'm fucking, bam.

If I was late for work, I would hate this bitch. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like... A few choice word for exchange between the woman and the green fest. Where... Oh, you got to watch the uncut. We got to find the uncut.

Swing from the fucking ankles. Damn, do you think they broke up? Yeah, man, yeah, you gotta. I mean, you gotta break up with her. Well, she, yeah. You gotta break her, you gotta go, I don't know. The pussy's good, but this is insane. Also, you have, yeah, you have to break up with her

because you cannot allow there to be any amount of time where, like, she's like, oh, well. You ain't a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got this shit kick out of me. We're going to do a nice dinner. Yeah, and then you just, I love. Because there is a part that's not in the news clip where the guy that beats him up

looks at the boyfriend and goes I'm going to fuck you up which if a guy says that to me you go okay well now I'm on guard at least that guy wasn't even on guard that guy was just like yeah it's crazy she spit at you she always does this

well I can't teach your lesson I can teach you one though well turns out if I aim it at you I can get all this aggression out I just found out that you're a receptacle for my aggression yeah dude Fuck that.

Getting beat up in public and because of your girlfriend is nightmare situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been trained in, like, because I've always been a puny little man. I was trained in, like, de-escalation from a young age. But when you're hanging out with... When I'm with Kai,

when you're with Kai, you're like, fuck you bitch! Yeah, yeah. You ain't going to touch my man. One of the little people points to Kai and is like, if you don't get him to stop calling, there's any, many money more. And I'm taking out on you.

If you don't silence him, you're the one that. it's going to have the problem. You, um, did you ever, did he ever get mad at, did he ever get mad at you for getting him into a fight? No, well, maybe. That's a, yeah. Like, it was, I mean, I was never, I was,

I was never, like, starting fights or whatever, but there was just, and obviously, he loves knocking him out. There's one time, that's pretty cool thing. I'd put that on a business card. Yeah, he loves, I love knocking him out. And it's only, only ever bad, he's like a scummy Batman. Like, you don't ever beat up people who deserve to be. Yeah, that's great.

There was one time I was driving, we were on tour and I was driving and I flipped off somebody because they were a bad driver and then like they stopped the car in front and were getting out the car and by the time I was like to suddenly be like oh god I fuck this Kai was out of the car and just yelled at the guy get back in your car before I fucking steal it that's great and the car just went you know what that's a good idea yeah that's a fair that's a fair response my friend if I if he hadn't been there I would have just plowed through the back of him killed both of his children I don't know.

I'm going to know what a body feels like under a weight of a car. And you go, you hear the crunch. You don't think you do, but you do. If you listen for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can hear the vertebrae now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you hear it out, that's the skull.

We get the, at least the guy. There's a lot of air around the brain that you don't realize is being released. But my friend David, shout out, David. I don't know if you watch the podcast, he might. But I grew up with, I'm not going to give his legal name. He was so good at beating people. that his mom sent him to military school and he beat more people up and got and she was like you need to do this to foreigners no it was in Kansas it was like a work school so they send people

in like the middle of nowhere and then they dig holes and like fucking break rocks and shit but all it did was it turned him into an overweight kid into a jacked kid yeah so he just came back pure muscle yeah and the amount of people he could be up tripled quadrupled he came back when he was 13 and I watched him in an apartment complex beat up two 16 year olds at the same time oh my that's a lot of difference three years is a big difference yeah yeah his puberty as well like depending on when his fucking and he did dude david was just caulking him and just like big hits where they're just like boom and you're like watching them move the whole body and then a 21 year old that was friends with our we had a shitty group of kids

yeah when we were like 13 this like 21 year old beat him up and then afterwards everyone was like at least 13 finished and the 21 year old was like all right is that enough and all like the kids were like, he's a kid. Like the first kid that said that and then you watch the guy, Vic, go like, all right. But you're like,

that wasn't a fair fight. Yeah. But David was a bad motherfucker. He would just beat people up. Have you ever been in a fight? You ever thrown a punch? Not like middle school. Middle school and then occasionally

like in a drunk like push in college where you like throw one punch and then someone would throw one punch and then everyone would break it apart. But I never, I was like, I reckon it's fucking science fine as fuck to like,

knock somebody out. I mean, I've been, oh, yeah, but I also, I would think now in our older age, it's scary because you go like, oh, no, get up. I need you to get up. When you're young, you're like, what's so, bitch. We're invincible.

Yeah, yeah, all it takes is a bad fall, land on a fucking curb, break your neck. No, no, no. That's what it is now is like, I always say, instead of being friends with like a Kai or a David, be friends with a guy that's a lawyer, so they can just take words and beat the shit out of you.

Yeah, you get his house because I beat the shit out of him, and you go, Then stealing your car, he goes, and I'll see you in court, and I'll take your car. And you're like, oh, yeah. I don't feel like the Scottish or litigious, like Americans. Is there a lot of suing in the UK? Is there a lot of, like, I'll see you in court?

A little bit. Certainly not as much. I mean, America's a country on the foundation of suing. Like, they'd say it's, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't say we don't do it. Like, sorry, I just not as much as... It hasn't rubbed off on you the way the Americans sue. No, and also, like, in regards of the...

the fucking fight things, even though I've never bid in one. There's a real sort of, from a lot of the fights I've seen, like, once the energy is sort of, like, out and expanded, there's, like, I've seen two men beat the shit out of each other and then the winner be like, all right, I'll buy your pipe. That's great. Like, we sort of that.

We need more of that. That's why, that's why not having a lot more of that. Like, that's why not having guns is like a good thing. I, the reason I could never live in this country is because I would be in jail in two months. Because you can't give me the option to shoot someone like like that's i'll just i'll shoot so many people i fucking hate i am a solution

based man this is why i can't own a gun oh it's a quick solution to shoot someone right the amount of fights i got into because kai could back me up can you imagine the amount of fucking shy dog if i was strapped yeah but i'll tell you what that also ends your shit talking career pretty quickly yeah you do it wrong and then you go that's why the you know it was good for population control was dueling yes you go we're going to free up some resources here in a second and guns are permanent that's why fistfighting is better fist fighting you expend the energy because you know it's like um there's this documentary about people that jump off the golden gate bridge they regret it the millisecond they jump yeah every single

person goes the second i jump you regret it and i feel like i don't know if people i i've never killed someone with a gun but i'm sure in the heat of the moment where you shoot someone with a gun the second it happens you go it's like that yeah there's there's no taking that back whereas a fight yeah You can punch a guy. You're like, oh, I can't get back to me right before that. I can't get back right before that. Whereas, like, there's a lot of checkpoints with fistfights. Or I can go back to a checkpoint and go.

Yeah, like, and look, regardless of people who watch fucking UFC, real fights last about 45 seconds before people are like gassed and tired. And then there's like that bit where people pull back and it's like, you're, you're good, bro. Yeah, yeah, good, yeah. You good, bro? I'll buy your pint. Brough. But, yeah, the best, the toughest thing that you can do is go get wind.

Yeah. It's like, go get like, if you're cardiovascular in shape, you don't have to be that strong. You'll just gas out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, the Homer Simpson gets, yeah, like, plunged it coming. And then, because that's like, um, do you remember, um, Kimbo Slice? Yeah, he fought data. When he fought Dada 5,000.

These are both, like, these are like two guys that were like street fight legends. Yeah. And they put them in the octagon. And they lasted for. five seconds before they were just so tired. I think they did like two rounds and one of them died because of it. I think Dada 5,000 died.

You can look that up. One of them like was really injured because it gassed him. Again, I might be remembering this wrong, but I remember watching that fight and being like, they're really gassed. Yeah. Like beyond anything I've ever seen

and then reading about one of them having like medical problems because of it. Oh, fuck. Because you're like, you don't realize. It's like you're expending everything. Yeah. You're right. Me and you, by the way,

we're not thinking about any means. mighty moe having good tanks little tanks but bigger tanks than we have yeah yeah of course yeah they yeah because if we're running away if we're dodging four of them we're we're gassing quick you mean you're gonna like and then our hands are on our knees you reckon you could hurdle one though you reckon that's how you do them easy i'm telling you while i have gas in the tank i'm a problem from them i'm long i can i'm more nimble than you think i am you can grab my arm and i'll slither out of You know what I mean? They're going to clamp on me, but no.

Also, if I can bonged two of them together. If you bonged to them together, they're hard enough. They actually go, they're like water droplets. Yeah, and then you go, oh, what am I not? You watch it grow? You go, I think our problem just got a little bit bigger. It says here, no one died from Kimbo Slice versus Dada 5,000, but Dada 5,000 nearly died, and Kimbo Slices passed away a few months later from unrelated.

Okay, thanks AI. man AI really is just like a drunk friend yeah yeah yeah and it gets right things wrong all of yeah all of it's like Donna 5,000's still alive and you're like what he's performing this weekend he's behind you that's my dog Myrtle you fucking liar so you got shows left yes I'm doing until uh it's it's probably gonna come out after that's absolutely fine man I'm I'm here to fucking I'm trying to think what should we promote what do you need to promote oh just fucking you know go watch his specials you can find uh X is on um HBO, Max.

Or my website for free. Just go to Daniel's website. Daniel Sloss is one of the funniest comedians. I've always thought you were hilarious from afar. Getting to know you, it's like, lives up to the expectation. You're a fucking hilarious dude that doesn't believe in ghosts, and I believe that you don't believe. But I believe.

Next time you come to Scotland, we'll go. And you can stand outside, but I'll fucking do it again, man. All right, I'm in. We're doing it. I go to Scotland. Oh, I'm going to be so scared. I can't smoke weed. I'll shit myself if I'm high and I do this.

I'll absolutely take an animal before. That'll give me the confidence. Oh, I don't think you should do that. That's what the spirit's going to get you. Fuck. Go watch Daniel Sloss's comedy and just know that he's not scared of ghosts.